Kaneki: At This Point I've Realized That "let's Go Home" Is Or Fandom's Way Of Saying "this Ship Is Cannon."

i am not the same person i was 18 minutes ago.

“Resting bitch face? No, not resting. Purposeful bitch face. I want you to know that I am done and tired of your shit.”

— Mayuzumi Chihiro

Bam as a parent

Baby: *cries*

Bam: Shh, it’s okay little buddy, one day you’ll learn how to do this on the inside

Tanizaki: Where do you guys put your arms when you sleep because mine are in the way.

Atsushi: I hug a pillow to feel something.

Dazai: I cross my hands over my chest just in case it's time to go.

Hinami: I can fit my whole world in the palm of my hands

Ayato: that's impos-

Hinami: (cups Ayato's face)

Ayato: (blushing) I have a reputation

my dad–also a writer–came to visit, and i mentioned that the best thing to come out of the layoff is that i’m writing again. he asked what i was writing about, and i said what i always do: “oh, just fanfic,” which is code for “let’s not look at this too deeply because i’m basically just making action figures kiss in text form” and “this awkward follow-up question is exactly why i don’t call myself a writer in public.”

he said, “you have to stop doing that.”

“i know, i know,” because it’s even more embarrassing to be embarrassed about writing fanfic, considering how many posts i’ve reblogged in its defense.

but i misunderstood his original question: “fanfic is just the genre. i asked what you’re writing about.” 

i did the conversational equivalent of a spinning wheel cursor for at least a minute. i started peeling back the setting and the characters, the fic challenge and the specific episode the story jumps off from, and it was one of those slow-dawning light bulb moments. “i’m writing about loneliness, and who we are in the absence of purpose.”

as, i imagine, are a lot of people right now, who probably also don’t realize they’re writing an existential diary in the guise of getting television characters to fuck. 

“that’s what you’re writing. the rest is just how you get there, and how you get it out into the world. was richard iii really about richard the third? would shakespeare have gotten as many people to see it if it wasn’t a story they knew?”

so, my friends: what are you writing about?

akaashi’s characterization

the contrast between akaashi’s actual canonical personality in 2020 vs the  personality created by the fandom for him back in like 2015 (e.g. just being cold/calm/ethereal) really gets me. 

just based on the mujinazaka match, we find that his “cool and collected” personality is just a facade that he’s actively putting in effort to uphold. in reality he’s a mess of overthinking, low self esteem, and speaking in long ass metaphors no one really understands.

canonically akaashi is actually just an anxious dweeb who likes to write, owns a shirt with the word “setter” over a picture of an irish setter dog, and eats a fuckton of rice balls.  also, speaking as an anxious person, the mujinazaka match chapters themselves were oddly comforting. especially watching the way akaashi picked himself back up after his breakdown using “task focus.” also bokuto being super emotionally intelligent, with quotes like “giving your 100% is not something everyone can do.” and asking “are you reflecting on the game or regretting things?” after the match, was just so nice to see. 

i thought everything was kinda calm but turns out i’m just ignoring every single one of my problems

Hard same.