I'm Proud Of You For Making It This Far.

Looking at buildings thinking are they tall enough to jump off and kill myself

he think he asuka langely soryu

this stemmed from a long conversation about lord english and his components and how each of their experiences would be like. they would’ve been able to watch all their ancestors be born, grow up, and eventually die, not to mention themselves as well.

at least for equius, it’d suck to find out you’re directly responsible for the pain and suffering of your entire race for all of time. and have to watch, just watch, and not be able to do a thing about it.

we thought it would’ve been especially awful for equius to have seen darkleer die they way he did (the refrance). especially in the way it mirrored his own death, which was the reason he’s here in the first place, etc etc.

i have more thoughts, but i don’t want to write out a whole essay right now.

so last year during a period of intense suicidal depression i made this necklace that i always wear, right, and the thing is it's genuinely brought me a lot of comfort and relief and i've developed a strong sentimental attachment to it, to the point that i can inarguably state that it's had a net positive effect on my mental wellbeing. however i did now just have to stop to almost throw up laughing because i realised that i've succumbed to the amulet.

I'm the back up

Great job!

You didn’t kill yourself!

It’s amazing that you kept going when you didn’t want to. You deserve credit for that.

I hope one day i am brave enough to just end my life because I can’t take this anymore, I’m so fucking sick of being a fuck up no matter how hard I try it’s never fucking enough.

i depend on you.

i am coping;;

I'm so close to just saying couples get the big bed and you invite me up whenever. Like, I'm sick of not being chosen.