Welcome To The Life Of A Writer 

Eating toast for dinner instead of cooking is better than not eating anything at all.

Using mouthwash instead of brushing your teeth is better than not taking care of your teeth at all.

Wiping yourself with a damp cloth or baby wipe instead of showering is better than not bathing at all.

Doing only one out of five assignments you need to turn in is better than not submitting anything at all.

Talking to a loved one on the phone is better than not talking to anyone at all.

Playing your favorite video game, listening to good music, or reading a book instead of "grinding" is better than not doing anything at all.

Don't beat yourself up for not being "productive enough". A little productivity is still productivity.

no shape, no form.

I stare at the vanity 

Yet, My eyes aren't looking 

All that is there for me to see is a figure

It blurs and blurs I still cannot figure 

No shape, no form 

I must reform 

How? It’s said souls flow into creeks 

Taking the shape they please

But I cannot fit into a mold 

I have no definition 

Nothing worthy of attention 

Maybe this is how it’s meant to be

 floating around with no destiny 

I'll do that for eternity 

I'll latch into what I find in front of me

Till one day it tells me it needs me

I don't know who I am 

But maybe that's fate

For I aspire to elate within everything 

Nothing in this world and its luxuries 

Can limit me 

I simply am free. 

You're the sun, you've never seen the night But you hear its song from the morning birds Well, I'm not the moon, I'm not even a star But awake at night I'll be singing to the birds- Mitski ‘’Your Best American Girl’‘

Night sky

THE OTHER SIDE

theirs this wall made of iron and steal blocking me of the far near I'm no brave man to climb all for I fear the fall Lost, I always seem to walk around its edges What is behind, I ask myself too many times maybe a gleamy forest withholding lilly fields but in my mind it's dark full of starving wolves that lurk curiosity is a sin, I need a redeemer some say it is liberating to be a dreamer but is the freedom worth the injury?

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— But… the sensation that I’ve lost something lingers for a long time after I wake up. YOUR NAME (2016) dir. Makoto Shinkai

A Burning Hill / The Only Heartbreaker – Mitski

(Idealism is a disease) by joud abu rashed

Idealism is a disease

Once it enters your system it feeds off of your mistakes

It spreads like a wildfire making you quake

Symptom after symptom you start to hallucinate

A thought becomes a reality

There’s no real definition of actuality

All you can do is live in brutality

And endure that cruelty

There’s no one to blame but that little voice in your head

Making you wish on sweet death

Whispering to you as if it was your own closest friend

The doctors say there’s a cure

One that’s pure

But there’s a price

First you have to apologize

To the body you forced to idealize 

A vulnerable state of you past mistakes

Drowning you in a lake

The water reflects an image of grief and regret  

As it overwhelms you slowly you start to forget

A cold breeze of acceptance washes all over you

A warm feeling is new

A smile takes over you

Now you are cured.

this poem speaks about my struggles with anxiety and perfectionism. I hope you find a sense of comfort in it 

my world~

idealism is a disease

the letter

Day-Dream

Attack on titian

Truth untold

A little boat at the sea

a tall child

The other side

no shape, no form.

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