Y/N and the original trio of wives have a massive surprise for their Lord, Tengen. After months of being away on a mission, today is the day to reveal something very special to him! F!Reader (use of she/her pronouns).
Content Warnings: pregnancy, implied future smut, and polyamory.
Hurried footsteps echo through the halls as Suma ran about, grinning ear to ear. As she practically slammed the sliding door open, she came to a shrieking halt. You were the exact person she was looking for.
"Hina! Y/N-chan!! Lord Tengen is home!!"
Upon hearing the news, you smile back to Hina, who had sat across from you. As you try to get up, she hurriedly comes to your side. Wrapping an arm around your swollen waist and belly, she was quick to hoist you up.
"Excellent news, Suma. Hurry and get Makio prepared to welcome him properly," Hina softly commanded, making Suma scurry off in excitement. You fidget in place, Hina being quick to notice.
" I-It's been months since he's been home..." You confess this softly, your brow knitting together," He hasn't... seen me like this yet."
Hina offers you a pat on your side, chuckling," While it will be quite a surprise, I'm sure he will be thrilled, Y/N-chan." Hina's soft demeanor never fails to comfort you, as you nod," O-Of course... I'm just cant help but be nervous!"
Hina places a chaste kiss to your forehead, the kind gesture making you sigh," Breathe, Y/N. You have nothing to fear."
As the two of you make your way through the main hall, you hear Suma and Maki scrambling noisily. They were hastily shouting back and forth as you heard several things clutter and fall to the ground.
"Be careful, you two!!," Hina warns," We don't want Y/N to get hurt in this ruckus!"
Makio dashes into the hall, swiping the sweat off of her forehead," We're doing our best here!!," she barked, though the wide grin on her face revealed her excitement.
"Everything's ready!!!" She adds while Suma stumbles into the hall to meet with you all.
Tengen's three original wives look to you, sending you smiles of encouragement and absolutely glee.
"Hurry, hurry Hina!! Y/N needs to hide!!," Suma squeals, coming up to your other side to help you along. You laugh, both of your arms draped over your wives shoulders.
"You guys! I can handle myself, don't worry about me!" You quip, unable to keep yourself from laughing. The two at your side shake their heads sternly, smiling all the while.
"Ever since last week, you've been struggling to even walk!! So let us help you through this, baka!" Makio cuts in, as she hurriedly fluffs the pillows in the bedroom.
Their goal was to get you to hide there, in the room that was set for the Baby Reveal. Though you would never be able to tell what the baby would be like, you could only imagine the beauty your baby would be. Boy, girl, or otherwise... it honestly didn't matter! The household was just as eager to welcome a new life!
As you finally got situated at the foot of the bed, you reach over and caress Suma and Hina's cheeks, before placing a kiss on Makio's.
"I guess I can't argue with you three. Thank you for taking such good care of me~" you coo, making your wives sigh in unison.
"Any time, darling," Hina cooed back, before kissing your forehead," We'll be right back. But are you ready for Lord Tengen, Y/N-chan?"
You flush brightly as you hear a familiar voice cry out," I'm home!!"
You nod in confirmation, beaming up at the three women before you," Ready as I'll ever be!"
Your wives make haste, hurrying to greet Tengen. Though you could hear the commotion in the distance, your thoughts were a major distraction.
Your eyes flickered to the decor... the low lighting, the sentimental flowers, and the lanterns hanging in all four corners of the room... the colors were warm and inviting, but still flashy enough that Uzui would approve. You looked to the doorway in front of you, your hand ghosting over your swollen stomach.
Never had you thought that you would become a mother. After becoming a demon slayer, you were confronted with thoughts of intense and sudden ends of life... and quite a few times, your life had been on the line.
But since meeting Tengen and the others, your outlook on life had greatly changed. You were excited to experience life in many ways, on top of living each day fully and earnestly.
But here you were, with a swollen belly and a full heart... you were blessed with something that the three other wives hadn't gotten... at least, not yet.
You were anxious to see Tengen as a father, though negative thoughts were quick to leave your mind. Between his gentle mannerisms and kind words shared with you all, you knew that your child would have the greatest parents ever. And five total, to boot!
"Laaaadies... I'm growing impatient! Is Y/N out and about again?," you hear Tengen scold, earning a giggle from the others.
"Noooo~" Suma sang," In fact, she's been expecting you, too!" Makio follows up. Your breath hitches as you hear their footsteps approach the bedroom door.
"Hah? Then what's the need for the blindfold? Honestly, if this is another one of her pranks, I swear--"
"No no, Lord Tengen! Pl-Please keep it on!!" Hina commands gently," We've all been working so hard on your surprise!"
This seems to amuse Tegen, as his hearty laugh fills your senses," Fine, fine! I suppose I could use a little flashiness right now! Even if Y/N is up to trouble again!" He quips back. You pout as you hear his steps come to a halt. Based on his sigh, you figure that he gave in to the trio's demands.
The three ladies in the hall nod to each other, before opening the door to your shared bedroom. You subconsciously tense up as you see Tengen stumble inside, his foot catching on the doorframe.
"Agh-- Suma, watch it!," Makio gripes, making the other woman whine," I-Im sorry, I'm guiding as best as I caaaaan!!" Hina can only chuckle as Tengen rolls his eyes. What was he gonna do with the four of you?
You feel your heart thumping in your throat, your cheeks a bright red as you see Tengen inch closer. He grins," I can hear your, Y/N~" he teases. Though he is unable to see you, he could sense you twitching from his words.
"Can I take this off now??" Tengen asks impatiently, before his hands are guided towards you. Suma and Makio gently place both hands on your tummy, as Hina comes up from behind Uzui and smiles.
"Yes, Lord Tengen. You may."
"Open your eyes!!," Maki and Suma say in unison.
Tengen seems confused, as he doesn't recognize the firmness of this skin. Surely, the warmth came from you, but he had no idea what he was touching. Your thighs? Your shoulders? Something certainly felt off...
He removes the blindfold quickly with one hand, before his eyes land on yours. You smile up at him nervously.
"L... Lord Tengen... Welcome home, darling..." you say sheepishly, almost quiet enough to where he couldnt hear you. His eyes flicker down to his other hand, before his breath catches in his throat.
He stares for a few moments, seemingly with no reaction. This, of course, makes the four of you stir anxiously. Tengen was known for strong emotions and outbursts, but for the first time in a LONG time... he's speechless.
Uzui quickly falls to his knees, though due to his height, he was almost at eye level with you.
"This... this is..."
His other hand comes towards your stomach quickly, making you flinch. He flinches as well, realizing quickly that he was getting too brash. He gently caresses the other side of your stomach, his maroon eyes flicking between the four of his wives.
"How... how long have you know?" Tengen asks softly, his gaze finally landing on Hina. Tears are welling up in her eyes, as she smiles warmly at him.
"Sh-Shortly after you left... but... we wanted you to experience this in person. A letter couldn't compare to this moment," Hina admits, coming to his side and placing a hand on his shoulder. Makio and Suma are quick to follow, both of them placing a hand on either of Uzui's.
"It was hard not to say anything," Makio adds," ...but we took great care of Y/N while you were away, Lord Tengen."
Uzui's gaze falls back to your swollen abdomen, his hands gently moving around, exploring your tummy's new form.
Again, he is overcome with silence, his head dipping for a moment. You feel something warm fall onto your stomach, gasping as you see Tengen's shoulders tremble.
"I-I'm so sorry... I wasn't here for you like I should have been." Choking on his words, more tears followed as Makio, Suma, and Hina embrace Tengen. You were surprised to see such a reaction from him.
"N-No! My Lord, please, it's okay!!!" You hurriedly reply, cupping Tengen's face," You were doing everything you should have and needed to, as a Demon Slayer... and as our husband. We're safe-- I-I'm safe, because of your efforts."
Your three wives smile and weep as they kiss Tengen's cheeks and shoulders, trying to comfort him. Though they too felt sorry for the overwhelmed Uzui.
"You came back. And it still feels like you've never left my side. That's all that matters," you finish, placing a hand on top of one of Uzui's strong, calloused hands.
For a few moments, the room grows quiet as the five of you sniffle and hiccup, still overcome with relieved tears.
But Tengen is quick to smile, his forehead gently bumping into yours as his arms overtake all four of his wives. When he raises his head again, he is beaming with pride and joy. His eyes are puffy and red with fresh, hot tears.
"I'm going to be a father..." he practically chokes out, grinning ear to ear," And the four of you will all be fantastic, flashy mothers!!!"
The five of you embrace each over, though gently as to not hurt you or the baby. As all of your collective tears and praises intermingle into a symphony, you feel something strange.
Your stomach lurches suddenly, making you grunt in surprise. The five of you freeze, before Tengen looks to your stomach. Hina and the other wives gasp, as all 3 of them grabbing at Tengen's wrists. They hastily shove Tengen's hands towards your tummy, pressing gently.
"There!! There, just now! Y/N did you feel-- A KICK?!?" Suma practically shrieks, followed by an excited squeal from Makio.
"This couldn't be better timing!!!," she exclaims," This is the first time, right, Y/N?!"
You instinctively place a hand over your stomach, wincing," I-I don't know what that was... m-maybe it was a kick? The wind was just... knocked out of me all of the sudden--!!"
As you say this, Tengen moves the others aside, placing his right ear to your stomach and listening intently. You fluster rapidly, gasping out Tengen's name as you're practically knocked over from the movement.
Your three wives excitedly come right back up, eager to watch the moment from behind Tengen's broad frame.
"... I hear it... the heartbeat!" Tengen claims softly, a sickeningly sweet smile spreading across his lips. " A strong one, too! That's to be expected of my child!" He coos, grinning boastfully.
As he speaks, you feel the breath getting knocked out from you again. You yelp as your stomach moves once more. This time, Tengen feels this lurch, and inhales sharply.
"Th-There!! Just now!! It was a kick!!!" He exclaims. Hina, Suma, and Makio practically shriek with excitement, hugging each other as Tengen continues to weep.
You can't help but laugh, a hand coming to Uzui's hair to stroke it," So it is!!!" you happily sing back to him, beaming with glee. "I'm pretty far along, so I guess that shouldn't be a surprise!!"
Before long, Tengen is mere inches from your lips, caressing your face as if you were fine porcelain. For a moment, his gentle expression is replaced with a firm acknowledgement.
" Y/N. It is an honor to be your husband, and I promise to continue to take care of the four of you... and our child." Uzui says tenderly. Uzui's hand comes up to brush your hair away from your face as your cheeks are peppered with kisses. You giggle at the stimulation as you feel the bed shift behind you.
Suma and the other wives have surrounded you, coming up to caress and embrace you as well.
"I gratefully except your praise and protection... a-as well as your child, Lord Tengen."
You feel Tengen's face heat up at your statement, before it's replaced with a prideful smirk," Careful, or I may bless you with more of my brood tonight~"
Your face soon mimics the shade on Tengen's, as Suma whines," But!! BUT!!! I want Lord Tengen's babies, too!!"
" Y-Yeah, don't leave us out, Lord Tengen!!" Makio gripes, clinging to his right arm. Hina chuckles, kissing both Suma and Makio.
"In due time, Makio, Suma... one child can already be a handful... and we already have two here!" Tengen and Hina share a laugh as Makio and Suma complain, and you are quick to laugh with the former duo.
But in the very next moment, you feel yourself being pushed onto your back, your head falling into Makio's lap. You squirm feverishly as you see one of Tengen's hands planting itself beside your head, while the other caresses your stomach.
"Ladies, ladies... the four of you will all bear my child... but Hina is right. For our safety and the child's, we can only afford to have one of us out of commission at a time," Tengen softly warns, making the four of you begrudgingly agree.
"However... I look forward to the four of you ALL being plump with my children. But until then... I do believe that Y/N is overdue for some relief. Who knows the burden my child has placed on your knees and feet..." Tengen lazily kisses your lips, still grinning as the trio of wives chuckle lowly
" My, that weight straining your back... your chest..."
Tengen's hand leaves your stomach to trace down your thigh, before gently sliding back up and under your robes. You stammer, unable to form a coherent sentence as Tengen kisses you again, briefly.
"Suma, Makio, Hina... care to help your Lord take care of your wife?"
You hear a cacophony of giggles and jeers as your four spouses come to surround you, grinning mischievously. Your lip quivers as you try not to look away, a jittery, hot surge of anticipation flaring up in your nether regions.
"N-Now?? Right now, you mean??" You question feverishly, before Hina and Suma bless your cheeks and collar bone with kisses.
Tengen grins as a hand snakes up your inner thigh, making your heart race in excitement.
"There's no better time than the present, right?" Hina leans over to kiss Tengen before he starts a sloppy kiss trail towards your core.
"Besides...," Hina adds dreamily," We wanted to surprise you, too~"
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A/N: Thank you for the read! I have unfortunately gone through SUCH a hiatus, but I found my writing flame awakened because of this damn hashira and his wives!
I'm relatively rusty at fanfics, so go easy on me! And let me know if you'd like a STEAMY part 2! ;)
šššššš: šššššššš šššš
pairings: dom!husband!aizawa x housewife!fem!reader
cw: unprotected vaginal sex, breeding kink, use of restraints (his quirk), praise, unrealistic cervix fucking, womb fucking, clit play, multiple creampies, multiple orgasms, dacryphilia, tummy bulge, cumflation
a/n: i really like this piece :p also in luvv with scruffy man
a scruffy voice laced with small traces of honey proposed an idea to you. aizawa wanted desperately to knock up his dear housewife, even going as far as to track your ovulation. his desire to impregnate you was let loose on the night you figured you'd flash him a new pair of lace panties. your husband's muscular arms carrying you bridal style into your shared bedroom, he places a nibble on your neck in preparation for what's to come. aizawa desires, no. plans to turn you into a fucked out, babbling mess. in order to be a good slave for his cock, aizawa ordered you to bend over the edge of your bed. "such a good girl," he'd coo, knowing full well that you initially gave off such an innocent demeanor. and aizawa himself was fairly decent at reading people. he had no intentions of taking things further with you, that was, unless he was presented with such a treat. with your legs hopelessly strung in the air, aizawa activates his quirk. your hands, now tied behind your back, are pinned at the wrist from your husband's strong hands.
"don't try and struggle, my dear wife." your husband speaks in a gravelly tone. the clink-clanking of a belt buckle rings im your ears, and you turn your head to see aizawa begin to give his cock a few pumps. the way his fingers wrap so diligentely around his shaft... pausing at the tip and meddling with his foreskin. he groans once the tip makes contact with your wet, sopping hole. he taps the fat head of his cock upon your entrance, knowing full well he wouldn't be denied. "a-agh! fuck." aizawa settles inside of you, his huge cock barely situated fully. he attempts to lodge his cock further while tightening your restrains, the urge in his veins tempered with lust. he releases his grasp on your wrists, giving you some breathing room. that is, until the palms of his hands meet your shoulders, and he's absolutely drilling into you. your pussy's unable to digest the feeling of such velocities, aizawa's strong hips stuttering with each forceful pound. beads of sweat forming at his forehead, he stares upon you with those signature droopy eyes. giving a smack to your ass, aizawa withdraws.
"you don't know how to beg properly, do you? well, you're in luck, as i'm a teacher." your neck soon met the force of aizawa's restrains, the tapelike-structure marketing around your neck harshly. "you wanna be pregnant, don't you? my dear. you're going to have to bend over and take it." your neck in upheaval, aizawa thrusts his cock inside of you, this time with no intention of leaving anytime soon. his hands fall on the globes of your ass, nails clawing crescents into your precious skin. all you can do is let your head fall back, succumbing to the pleasure. aizawa quickly jerks your head to the side, ordering you to meet his gaze. the man's eyes are filled with a new breed of arousal, his cock stiffening inside of even more so. the reddened tip penetrates your cervix, breaking through to your unscathed womb up until now. your poor, weak body can't take much more of aizawa's harsh treatment. but, to be a good slut for him, you knew what you needed to do.
soon, you found a way to work yourself back on him, meeting the rhythm of his thrusts and each jolt of his hips. a translucent ring of cream forms around his shaft, which is the only thing left to fuck into you at the end of the day. "g-ah, baby. you're doin' so well, takin' my big cock." aizawa's eyes peel back, hissing in pleasure as he continues to plow into your sweet cunt, womb entirely exposed to the man. you complain. not only that it hurts, but it's too intense. feeling his shaft spear your cervix repeatedly was just too... "i'm cummin', my dear wife. please, clench down on me, won't you?" he orders, and you simply obey. aizawa lets out a loud groan as his fingers aim to rub at your clit. his attempts to hold back his orgasm are faulted at the unreliable, sporadic clenches of your pussy. you're so close yourself that with aizawa's fingers on your aching bud, you came immediately. feeling your cunt contract all the way up to his base, aizawa pistoned himself as deep as he possibly could.
"p-promise, i'll knock you up, babygirl. my balls are so heavy and full for you..." your tongue lolled out to the side, you're unable to comprehend aizawa's menacing speed even after he'd orgasmed. "i'm g-gonna cum... again. and again..." aizawa chanted, your name slipping off his lips in small doses. and the man known as eraserhead doesn't lie. his balls tighten as he powers through the previous orgasm, his shaft coated in your slick cream by now. he's loosened his grip on your throat, luckily, but the motions of his hips seem never to slow. you can feel it in your stomach... each thrust was complimented with either a growl from aizawa or a shrill from your own lips. he knew how deeply he was fucking you. he was an experienced man, though he'd never entirely breached your cervix in the past. the feeling in his lower abdomen began to build up, aizawa's incoming orgasm about to burst. "why are you crying, my dear? it feels good, no?" he stalls, easily able to hold himself back once he notices the salty droplets. he can't help but get off on the sight, his perfect housewife being fucked dumb on his cock. most likely on her journey to motherhood already due to all of aizawa's cum from the first load.
aizawa thrusted a bit more sensually this time, adjusting his hips in order to hit your sweet spot perfectly. your eyes are bombarded with tears, both from the delicious pleasure and the agonizing pain. though, you couldn't reject the fact that you enjoyed being aizawa's little fuckdoll. his bitch to fill up. his set of holes to let off some steam on. "i'm going to go a little easier on you and let you off the hook. but, for next time. i won't hesitate to restrain you if i sense disobendience." you thank your husband, who swells with pride. aizawa ordered you to lie on your back as he took you in missionary. he could easily slip back inside of your warm cunt as quick as he withdrew. as your legs coddled around his waist, you feel aizawa's hips start to move, tentatively and with precision. "look at me," his darkened orbs stare directly into yours. he couldn't hold back much longer, especially with that tiny bulge appearing in your tummy. aizawa locked lips with you, and as your tongues fought, aizawa felt himself tire. his kisses turned sloppy and uncoordinated. it was messy, passionate lovemaking. "gonna fill you up, you bitch in heat!" aizawa growls, increasing his own stamina.
with a few more harsh jolts of his hips, your dear husband spurts inside of you. the amount of cum he ejects is nothing like before, and it poisons your blood with lust. it's thick and warm consistency becomes heaven to the two of you, who are still miraculously grinding your bodies against each other in a state of deprived hunger. aizawa's cum slips past your thighs and trickles down to his drained balls. as your husband rides out the remnants of his orgasm, he lets out a lowly sigh. you inquire if he's alright, and it's when you notice that he's immediately fallen asleep on top of you. snoring, and all. still inside of you. half hard. your tummy bulge had started to die down as you began to exert more pressure on your stomach, pushing aizawa's thick ropes of cum out in hopes that he'd wake up. but, he didn't anytime soon. although, while in the midst of napping with him after sex, you could detect slight spasms of his once again hardening cock. ready to go for a third round the moment he opened his eyes.
tags: AFAB reader (referred to as āmamaā), established (kinda toxic) relationship, canon divergence: secret family au (post arrest), spoilers for touya backstory and chapters 349 onwards, hurt/comfort, original child character (āKaiyoā; he is your shared biological child), no reference to readers quirk, mentions of canon attempted suicide and canon child abuse, themes of generational trauma, family feels, todoroki family centric, villain rehabilitation, dealing with trauma and recovery, second chances
wc: 16k+
You shouldnāt have come.Ā
There are crowds of press, packed so tightly that getting any closer would be futile, all of them a cacophony of questions and accusations. Youāre standing atop a small brick wall encasing a flower bed of hyacinths outside of the hospital, a head above the sea of cameras, watching as a group of heroes ā Endeavor and Shouto included ā slowly lead Touya towards an armoured van.Ā
Relief floods through your system for a few precious seconds, overwhelming the hopelessness in your stomach. He was alive.Ā
One little rumour from a patient in your clinic, an unsure whisper of I heard theyāre moving that Dabi kid from the ICU to villain corrections had led you here. Itād been two long, devastating weeks since the final battle. Two weeks with no word from him, two weeks of reading every article you could find about the āelusive first son of Endeavorā and learning nothing.Ā
The media blackout that came thereafter was the only thing that kept you hoping that he was okay. The Todoroki family, though disastrous and complicated, held some influence in Japan. And though Touya would vehemently try to reject it, they could not allow their surviving first son to be fed to the wolves.Ā
And wolves they were; yelling obscenities and insults with spitting anger. Legal justice was one thing, but the court of public opinion was another thing in its entirety, a fragile and fickle thing that held the power to sway even government policy.Ā
Kaiyo stirs in your arms at the noise and you soothe him, rubbing your hand along his back until he quietens, then you tuck away the stray red hair that has fallen loose from beneath his hat. Truthfully you never intended to bring him here, but given recent events it has been hard for him to separate from you, cheeks still slightly pink from his earlier tantrum.Ā
Itād been damn near impossible to prevent the four year old from learning about the broadcast a few months prior, paired with the sudden less than frequent visits from his father, he knew something was deeply wrong and he didnāt understand it.Ā
Touya is scanning the crowds lazily, expression impassive to everyone but you. You could see was exhausted, more gaunt than you last remember, but his disinterest only fed into everyoneās fury.Ā
āVillain!ā theyāre bellowing at him, fingers pointed and words sharp, ādonāt you care about the suffering youāve caused?āĀ
He cares, you think, more than anyone could ever understand.Ā
You cannot look away as Shouto lingers by his brother, the other sidekicks giving them a wide berth. Endeavor is tucked away beside the van speaking with an armed officer, his shoulders hunched forwards in an uncharacteristic manner. He appeared to be ashamed.Ā
Good, the thought bitter and weighing heavily in your chest.Ā
Touya shuffles along obediently, wrists out and pressed together against his pelvis. Quirk suppressing cuffs, you assumed. They were bulky, and no doubt uncomfortable. You hold Kaiyo a little closer as you ache, distantly wondering if heās cold without his quirk.Ā
After today it was entirely possible youād never see him again, that your son would grow up without his father.
Nobody knew of your connection to him, something both of you doubled down on after your pregnancy came to light. There would be no way for you to visit or contact him now without suspicion being cast upon your little family. Law enforcement will without a doubt assume you were aware of his intentions, and worst case they would believe you to have played a part in them yourself.Ā
He couldnāt allow that to happen. And yet, here you were.Ā
You just needed one last look at him to know he was breathing, living flesh and blood, to know that the only thing you would have to mourn was your relationship. More than anything you needed him to be ok. And he does look different ā better, in some ways. The new skin grafts hug his jawbone comfortably, and the rings that once kept him together are gone.Ā
Being alive meant he still had a chance.Ā
Touya tilts his chin up, squinting against the flare of the sun, and the corner of his mouth crooks into a smile. Itās the irony, you think, as your own lips twitch. The heavens should have opened by now, rain should be soaking your clothes to your skin, influenced by the utter misery flooding throughout your body.Ā Instead, the day is bright.
As if he can feel it, he turns, and his gaze immediately falls on your figure in the distance. Youāre close enough to see the abject fury flit across his features, eyes wide and unblinking as they stare back into your own.Ā
The hand you have rested against Kaiyoās back slides up over his hat to cradle his head, his small fingers curled tightly into the fabric of your shirt, drawing Touyaās attention to the boy.Ā
To his son.Ā
The anger dissolves like sea foam, it washes away to give space for his grief. This was it, the final goodbye. You couldnāt find it in yourself to hate him for his choices, because it was something he had told you heād do from the start.Ā
In hindsight, you can only curse your naivety.Ā
Youād met Touya a few months after your eighteenth birthday while shadowing one of the senior nurses in the clinic. The place was small, run down and barely funded, but it was valuable work and they were kind enough to give you the extra experience.
Heād been brought in unconscious by a concerned passerby. The skin of his arms has been rough, raised and pale pink, inflamed where theyād been burnt. Barely nineteen at the time, it was nothing compared to what he would do to himself years later.Ā
āWatch him until he wakes up,ā theyād told you, and you did so dutifully until his eyes flew open in alarm.Ā
Back then his identity as Dabi was makeshift, fresh and unrefined. With the glue still wet between the cracks it was unsurprising that he would slip. Touya. That was how he introduced himself to you on that first day, under the hazy influence of painkillers.
The memory stuck with you throughout your relationship. Youād see it now and then ā youād see Touya plainly behind the veil. Sometimes you said his name as if it was a dare, and heād hated it so much that he loved you. With you there was no need to exert effort in maintaining his bravado, he could just be. And that was dangerous, or so heād insisted.
He would disappear for weeks at a time. He always had a myriad of excuses, from expressing concern for your safety to spitting that you were nothing but a good fuck. You could no longer count on one hand the amount of times youād heard the āIām a villain, you shouldnāt be with meā speech.Ā
Touya would leave, and yet youād still come home to a receipt on the counter, or to your clean sheets unmade. It was laughable, and you loved him.Ā
The pregnancy was⦠unexpected. Difficult. If his emotions were a switch on the wall, your growing baby was a finger flicking it up and down incessantly. Mornings full of nausea and nights full of reassurance. You offered him an out, a door that would always be left open, and he refused it.Ā
Stay and be a bad father. Leave and be a bad father. Those were the only options he thought existed for him. And maybe you shouldāve believed him when he told you Kaiyoās birth wouldnāt change a thing about the path heād set for himself.Ā
But you couldnāt accept it. Not as heād held your boy in his arms, not as the apprehension and fear in his eyes softened into love. Not as heād laughed and told you, āguess I needed to give one good thing to the world before I dieā.Ā
Sometimes the adoration would become overcast with anguish. There were days he couldnāt even look at Kaiyo because of how much he loved him, reminded only of how little he had been loved by his own family ā but he never let Kaiyo see it.Ā
āJust because heās too young to understand now doesnāt mean he wonāt laterā.
The only small mercy is that your son remains asleep, blissfully unaware of what he is losing, and unperturbed by the noise around him. His light, shallow breaths against the skin of your neck are a warm comfort.Ā
Touya canāt say anything for fear it will draw attention to you both, and you think that alone is punishment enough.Ā
Shouto stands beside him in silence, surveying the surroundings and eventually following Touyaās line of sight to you. Instinctively you step backwards into the soft soil of the flowerbed, your thoughts offering an apology to the hyacinth flattened beneath your shoe.Ā
With the realisation that his youngest brother has noticed you, Touya turns and lunges in Shoutoās direction with his teeth bared. It could almost be comical if not for the unpleasant murmurings of the crowd. In the short moment that Shouto is distracted, you jump down from the brick wall and slip away.Ā
You donāt look back.Ā
A small part of you had hoped your role in the story had ended, that you now might just move forward as best you can. Instead, you were shadowed by an overwhelming sense of dread everywhere you went. There was little to do besides work and walk, yet you couldnāt help but feel watched. The cashier at your local market, your neighbour, Kaiyoās teacher, the food vendor on the corner; with just one look you canāt help but to think that they must know, that any day now this false peace will collapse onto you like a tonne of bricks.Ā
The anxiety keeps you up at night, counting the glowing stars stuck to the bedroom ceiling to pass the hours, tension threading itself into your muscle fibres. Kaiyo was warm where he laid curled at your side, but the loneliness ā in all its violent emptiness ā made the night colder. Despite it all, you missed Touya, your eyes still searching for him across the futon.Ā
Remnants of him are still scattered throughout the apartment. Should anyone come looking, there would be plenty of him to find. Heād hated having his picture taken, yet always gave in to you quickly, and you never needed to ask him for anything twice. There were photographs of his lips pressed to your hair, of his smile tucked against your neck, of his arms holding the baby; hand cradled around the crown of his head, his purpled scars a stark contrast to Kaiyoās soft skin.Ā
He had treated fatherhood like he was a dying man, a clear red flag that you can only now see with hindsight. He had spoiled the two of you with his time and effort, no matter how uncomfortable it made him, because he knew any day might be his last. Touya was born with inherited wounds that were left to fester. To him, his failure was terminal, and no amount of love would undo that.Ā
The wood panels are cool beneath the soles of your feet as you pad your way through to the bedroom, bending at your knees to pick up stray toys and socks left throughout the hallway. Thereās still an ache in your cheeks, the strain of smiling too long through all the tears and questions from your son that morning before school. You wish you had answers.Ā
Your shared room looks much emptier with the large futon hung over the balcony to dry. You find a small star in the centre of the room that has fallen from the ceiling. Held between your fingers in the daylight it is dull, a pale yellow, much different to the green glow it emits at night. Touya had bought them for Kaiyo after a series of bad dreams, lifting the boy onto his shoulders and letting him stick them wherever he pleased.Ā
Another piece of him. As you are slipping the star into your pant pocket, you hear a knock on the front door. You werenāt expecting anyone ā rent had been paid, Kaiyo was with his sitter and your neighbours were at work. It sounds again, reverberating throughout the apartment, and the soft hair on your arm lifts in anticipation.Ā
There is a sense of embarrassment somewhere within you as you creep towards the entryway, keeping your body low and your steps light. You can hear muted, muffled voices through the cheap wood, fingertips carefully lifting the peep hole cover to look through.Ā
You hold your breath, stunned. There are two women just an arms length from you, both of them beautiful and horrifyingly familiar to you. Rei, Touyaās mother, stands with her head held high despite the nervous fiddling of her hands. Fuyumi, his sister, is clasping the strap of her shoulder bag with a white knuckled grip.Ā
āMother, are you sure this is the place?ā she asks, her eyes darting anxiously over the surroundings, āmaybe Shouto made the wrong assumptionā.
Rei is lovely, you think, even with the air of sadnessĀ Her smile is gentle, and her expression softly determined. āThe worst outcome to this is that he misunderstood the situation,ā she replies, ābut if this person is important to Touya then theyāre important to meā.Ā
Fuyumi nods, shifting her weight between each foot. You inhale shakily through your nose, blinking back the dryness in your eye as you continue to watch through the lense.Ā
āHe said⦠there was a childā.Ā
Your forehead bumps against the door as you startle, cursing under your breath, lungs tightening as the dread floods your system. The two women freeze alongside you, observing the door cautiously, glancing at one another in silent conversation.Ā
āIf youāre there, we arenāt here to hurt you,ā Rei lifts her hand, and rests it against the door in a show of reassurance, āI believe you know my eldest son. We only want to talkā.Ā
The push and pull of guilt, relief and fear forces the weight of your body to sink forward, drawn to the sincerity in her voice. There is no amount of time or distance that would dilute the loyalty you felt towards Touya. Letting them in would be a betrayal.Ā
āPlease,ā Fuyumiās voice is wet, thickening with tears, āheās my older brother. Heās refusing to talk about you orā or anything! We just want toāā
Rei turns to soothe her, and youāre reminded of your own parenthood. If something ever happened to Kaiyo you might just scorch the earth in your attempts to find him. Itās hard to swallow the swell in your throat as you watch his sister turn into the touch, seeking that comfort.Ā
Touya had loved his mother, a difficult thing for him to stomach but true all the same. Heād grieved the attention he never received from her, but you knew he didnāt blame her, and it is that which leads your hand to the door handle.Ā
Time feels like itās in suspension. To see them standing so clearly before you without the film of dirt from the glass is still a shock to process. Behind you is a home filled to the brim with evidence of your own criminal involvement, the first photograph theyāll see hung in the hallway is of their grandson.
Kaiyo deserved his chance at having a family.Ā
āPlease come in,ā your fingers are trembling where they sit in your pocket, curled around the divots in the star. Please forgive me, you think.Ā
You step backwards to allow them through, both accepting with a short bow and a quiet thank you. Itās unnerving and tense, their stares lingering along the walls and shelves, the mother and daughter now hand in hand as they take a seat on your couch.Ā
āWouldā¦ā a blunt point of the star sinks into the thickest part of your palm, the sensation acting as your tether, āā¦can I get you anything to drink?āĀ
āSome tea would be wonderful,ā Rei concedes, her voice full of earnest and so light itās almost wistful. As you steep the leaves you canāt help but get the feeling she knew you needed more time.
The ceramic cups are old, stained with time and well loved. You fill them with hot water, tendrils of steam billowing warmth across your face, and place them atop the coffee table before kneeling onto the floor.Ā
Beneath your mug is a clumsily drawn cat, the marker permanently stained into the wood. There are others, too, little marks left by mistake. Faint lines of kanji where the ink had seeped through the paper, hearts and stick figures and stars. Rei reaches her hand out to trace a finger along them, lips pressed thinly in a sad smile.Ā
āI apologise for our unexpected intrusion,ā she tells you, āIām Himura Rei and this is my daughter, Todoroki Fuyumi".
āBelieve it or not Iāve been waiting for someone to find us,ā your hands wrap tightly around the hot cup, incognisant of the sting to your skin, āit was beginning to eat away at me a little bitā.
āThen Shouto was right,ā Fuyumi mirrors you, keeping her voice soothing and calm as she speaks even as her eyes are tearful. You recall Touya telling you she was a teacher, and you can see why.Ā
āYou did know him,ā she says, āit looks like he spent⦠a lot of time hereā.
You hear yourself laugh breathlessly at her tiptoeing of the subject, āhe practically lived here until he decided to join the league. After that he stayed away for our safety, I supposeā.Ā
She nods, seeming to accept your answer, glancing then to her mother in a silent plea for assistance. āCould you tell us what he was like?ā thereās a mellow, apologetic tone in Reiās words, but to whom she was apologising you didnāt know.
āCould you tell us all the things we missed?ā
So you sip your drink to smooth the dryness in your throat and itās scalding against the roof of your tongue, and you tell them everything you know.Ā
After your first meeting youād thought about him every day for a week, haunted by the intensity in his eyes and the marks on his skin. You had talked and talked and he had done nothing but listen. While you thought you'd never see him again it wasnāt long at all until he came back to your dingy clinic, this time of his own accord, in need of painkillers and suturing.Ā
Heād gone straight to you, rudely bypassing the doctors with any qualification in the ward, and shoved some money into the palm of your hand. He was still young, his attempts at carrying himself like a man seemed more like puppetry to you, but still you entertained it and attended to his wounds.Ā
āSince Iām still not fully trained youāll need to sign this,ā you remember holding out the clipboard to him, your supervisor lingering by the curtains, the impatient tap of her foot echoing in your ears.Ā
āTouyaāāĀ
Back then his aversion to hearing that name was much greater. Every time itād passed through your lips was as if you had pressed your thumb on a fresh bruise, and heād lash out in kind.Ā
āDonāt call me that here!āĀ
āWhy? Are you running from something?āĀ
Heād laughed at you with eyes that glittered like he was about to cry, but the tears never came, they never could. āRunning implies that someone is looking for me,ā his skin pulled uncomfortably taut as he smiled, āthereās no one to run fromā.
āHe dyed his hair black soon after that,ā the mug held between your trembling hands grows cold, your tea mostly untouched and leaving a faint brown ring around the ceramic, āsometimes he would visit me all soaked with rain, and the colour would run down the back of his neckā.Ā
You pause every so often to offer them a chance to ask questions, but the two women remain quiet, listening raptly to your story. Their genuine trust and willingness to believe you bore a sense of unease, or perhaps guilt that youād had him to yourself while theyād mourned.Ā
āThen things eventually progressed to⦠more,ā even with the air of melancholy, you couldnāt help but take refuge in the normalcy of being timid around your partner's family, sheepish as you recount your relationship.Ā
āDid you love him?ā Rei asks, and though not unkind, her question makes you feel unspeakably lonely.Ā
Loving Touya had felt nothing like a free fall, there was no moment in which you woke up and realised your feelings. Itād been no great feat to love him, no grand prize or climax at the end of a long battle; you saw all the worst parts of him and it didnāt change a thing. Even with all his flaws your feelings only deepened until they hollowed you out.Ā
Despite it all, you had walked into it knowingly, each step forward towards him a purposeful choice.Ā
You have only your own hunger to thank. Your eighteen year old self had been fiercely persistent, and however much he denied it, you knew he was drawn to your sympathy. Even though he was never entirely honest you pursued him with the small truths he didĀ offer, motivated by the selfish wish to see him happy.Ā
āYes,ā in sickness and violence, in struggle and fear; youād loved him through holidays and birthdays, through time spent apart and nights spent alone, āI love himā.Ā
āAnd the little boy, is he your son?ā
Kaiyo. An unexpected yet happy accident. Named after forgiveness and the spitting image of his father, a red haired cherub, you both already knew the answer. āYou can say it, Ms. Himura,ā your smile strained as you run your thumb along the handle of your mug, āheās our son. Mine and hisā.Ā
Fuyumi exhales shakily, slumping forward like the fight left her body along with it. You can see the moment your confession truly registers, misty eyed and sparing a glance between one another. Turning on your knees, you reach into the shelves of the TV cabinet, grasping the framed photo of your son as an infant.Ā
Rei takes it from you delicately as you offer it to her with an outstretched hand and traces her fingers across the glass pane, circling the swell of Kaiyoās pink cheek. Itās a personal favourite of yours ā his arms are held above his head in triumph, the lower half slightly blurred from the excited kick of his feet. Heās grinning widely, so much so his eyes are squinted.Ā
Touya had been the one to take that photo, making ridiculous noises from behind the camera, the ghost of their intermingling laughter still ringing in your ears.Ā
āHis name is Kaiyo and heāll be turning four soon,ā you watch warmly as Fuyumi leans over her mothers shoulder to get a better look, hand clutching at the fabric of her knit sweater, āthe pregnancy was unexpected. We didnāt⦠I told Touya I would raise him myself, but he insisted on taking responsibilityā.Ā
As you recall, the very notion that he wouldnāt stick around had offended him. He loved his son. Heād even cried over the baby scans, dry blood still smeared across black and white where they sit in your bedroom drawer. But you could see how the fear had eaten away at him throughout those nine months, restlessly doting on you and bringing home stolen things for the baby every few days but never being able to touch your growing bump.Ā
āThen, why did he join the league?ā Fuyumi asks, but you were intuitive enough to see the real question between the lines. Why wasnāt any of this enough? Why did he leave this behind, too?Ā
Youād guessed from the beginning that his relationship with his family was, at best, a strained one. In reality it was worse than you couldāve imagined. The small pieces to his past that he let slip every now and then would always fill you with distress, at a loss for words.Ā
The reveal of who his father had been all you needed to understand the secrecy, of both his identity and of your relationship.Ā
āStain,ā you cross your arms over the surface of the coffee table, knees folded beneath it, and resist the urge to hide your face, āhe continued to use his quirk so his condition was worsening, and his anger towards Endeavor had been festering for yearsā.
You ignore their plaintive wince at the mention of the pro, blunt nails curling into your inner wrists as you continue. āTouya felt his death didnāt matter. It didnāt change a thing,ā and he had to watch his world move on without acknowledging it, āeverything Endeavor did made him susceptible to Stainās causeā.
Stainās temporary reign of terror over Japan was the first time heād ever heard anyone criticise hero society so blatantly. You remember the vengeful kindling in his eyes as he recited the vigilanteās words, your son sound asleep in his arms and none the wiser.Ā
It was that night, and every night that followed, that the stress had started to gnaw at your chest until you felt your lungs collapse under the weight. Panic gripped you each time he returned home with a new injury, the smell of smoke suffocating and clinging to the futon covers no matter how much you washed them. He carried a feral sense of excitement and restlessness that left you helpless ā something had breathed new life into him, and it had not been you.Ā
Fighting had been pointless, your pleas like water to a ducks back. He loved you, he loved his son, and somehow he had rationalised that burning himself and the world would give rise to a better place. Ā
āHe already died once,ā your smile is tight but not as tight as your throat,Ā āand it did nothing. So this time heād do it where it couldnāt be hidden, where everyone would have to look right at his self immolation and know their part in causing itā.Ā
It's then that Rei carefully places the photograph on the table as she lowers herself onto her knees, the frame remaining upright with the support of its stand. With her hands resting one atop the other, she leans forward into a full bow in front of you.Ā
Youāre stunned with arms suspended in the air as you hesitate to reach for her, a swell of tears lining your eyes at her softly spoken apology. Your son watches over the exchange, his presence poignant even through an image.Ā
āMs. Himura, please lift your head,ā you shift towards her, close enough to thread your fingers over her own, feeling the peaks of her knuckles against your palm.Ā
āI failed him as his mother,ā she says, overturning her hand to hold yours and squeezing, āit was those failures that led to your own suffering. Iām sorryā.Ā
In your peripheral you see Fuyumi as she moves to mirror her mother, sitting close beside you, fingers ghosting a chill along your forearm where she comes to entangle with the two of you.Ā
āPlease donāt take responsibility for my pain. Besides, it wasnāt always terrible,ā you stare at the knot of limbs, comforted by the gentle warmth of their touch, āI donāt think⦠Iāve ever met anyone who loves as much as your son doesā.Ā
Reiās eyes fall shut, a faint pinch between her brows, sorrowful as she replies: āI knowā.Ā Ā
Her expression is so full of regret itās almost contagious, drawing you in and reminding you of your own mistakes. Thereād been so many opportunities that you couldāve fought him, couldāve said something, but didnāt for fear of pushing him further away.Ā
āHow did you find me?āĀ
Your voice cuts through the plaintive silence and you shrink under their gaze as their eyes lift. Fuyumi speaks in place of her mother, her thumb rubbing back and forth over your wrist.Ā
āShouto saw you as Touya was being transferred, and in all honesty he didnāt think anything of it until Touya attacked him to keep the attention on himself,ā she explains with an amused lilt, āhe appeared to be very protective of youā.
Idiot, you think fondly.Ā
āI assure you he only told my mother,ā Fuyumi squeezes your forearm once again as if to comfort you, āhe was concerned and wasnāt sure if he just misunderstood. But we wanted to look for you to make sureā.Ā
āThen, the authorities arenāt aware?āĀ
āNo,ā Rei murmurs.Ā
Youāre surprised by just how much you were being upheld by stress, shoulders sagging forward in relief, sinking your teeth into the soft inside of your cheek to withhold a whimper.Ā
āThank you,ā you say hoarsely, and you repeat it again and again until the two women have swaddled you in their arms, surrounded by the gentle scent of lavender and detergent.Ā
āYouāre family to Touya, therefore youāre family to us,ā Fuyumi reassures you, āyou donāt have to do this alone anymore if you donāt want toā.Ā
Family. The prospect almost seemed too good to be true, an enticing offer laid out only to trap you at the end. You couldnāt risk Kaiyoās safety or wellbeing, but their sincerity is so palpable itās stifling.Ā
āHow is he?ā you ask instead, āis he safe?āĀ
āThis knowledge isnāt available to the public, but he has been moved into a private villain corrections centre,ā Rei looks at Kaiyoās picture as she speaks, and you wonder if she sees Touya looking back.
āHe will be undergoing rehabilitation with the hopes of one day joining us for a period of probation,ā she continues, turning to you with a soft smile, ārest assured we have no intention of removing his autonomy. Touya consciously chose to carry out his actions and he should take responsibility for itā¦ā
Her voice breaks, ā⦠but we had our own part to play in his creation, and believe he deserves a second chanceā.Ā
Itād sound like a perfect dream if you did not know Touya as intimately as you do. Youāre unable to repress the grimace that crosses your expression.Ā
āHe wonāt be happy about that,ā your eyes fall closed momentarily as you exhale, āhe wonāt see it your way. You already took his autonomy by removing his choice to die, thatās what heāll thinkā.Ā
āYou really do understand him, donāt you?ā Fuyumi laughs mournfully, āheās refusing to cooperate. He was relatively fine in police custody but since the transfer heās become more hostileā.
The room grows a little smaller with every word. āDo you think itās because I was there?āĀ
āShouto asked twice who you were and Touya attacked him both times. Itās a big part of why he came to me about it, and why we knew we had to find you,ā Rei says.Ā
It would make sense. Touya always smothered his anxiety with anger, a response that allowed him some control or imitation of power, and power meant safety. You knew he found common ground with his youngest brother, that being the reason he ultimately lost to him, but that didnāt mean he trusted Shouto. The thought of him restlessly wondering if you and Kaiyo were in danger causes your chest to tighten.Ā
āMaybe if youāre able to tell him weāre okay, heāll start responding to treatment?āĀ
āMaybe,ā Rei nods and then the apartment is veiled in heavy silence. It wasnāt unlike sitting at his wake. You wished he could bear witness to how much love you all felt for him.Ā
Suddenly, a muted beeping sounds from the thin, mint coloured watch clasped around Reiās wrist. She sighs and pressed her lips into a thin, displeased line. āIām sorry but we canāt stay longer. They still get a little nervous if Iām out too long,ā she says.Ā
Right. She too had spent time locked away in a hospital. It must be difficult, you think, to have a mistake follow you wherever you went. A perfect recovery did not mean other people would forgive, or forget.Ā
Maybe one day, Touya would see that he and his mother are more similar than he realises.Ā
āThatās fine, Ms. Himura,ā you bow forward towards her, and then again while addressing Fuyumi, āIām grateful to you both for finding usā.Ā
āAnd weāre grateful you gave us a chance,ā Fuyumi lifts her arms in an aborted motion as if to hug you, but decides against it, āweād like to leave you with our contact information. If thereās anything you need or⦠if youād like Kaiyo to visit, please donāt hesitate to callā.Ā
Their touch lingers long after they leave. The evening moves on, sun dipping below the seam of the horizon as it always does as if nothing had changed, an unintended reminder of how minuscule your problems really were. Kaiyo is returned home by his sitter, excitedly babbling about his day, rushing throughout the apartment with bare feet padding over the spot where his grandmother had been seated only hours before.Ā
Youāre reminded of how intuitive he is when he curls himself around your thigh, asking you if youāre okay, if you were feeling sick or sad. Thereās a guilt there that can only come with parenthood, your depression smothered like a wet blanket as you pull forward a smiling mask to wear, hoping it will placate his worry.Ā
āIām okay baby,ā you tell him with fingers combing through unkempt red hair, his eyes wide and bright and distinctly your own, āIām just a little tiredā.Ā Ā
There is an anger that accompanies the insurmountable love you feel when you look at your son. It is difficult to accept his abandonment, to know you will have to be the one imparting that pain into him. So gentle, excitable and considerate of those around him, qualities taught to him by his supposedly villainous parents.
Despite his mistakes and doubts, Touya tried to be a good father, heād wanted to be one. You suspected a lot of it came from a place of wishfulness, parenting his child in a way heād wanted for himself, as painful as it mightāve been to realise just how little heād mattered to his own. And you can see it now ā Touyaās inherited wounds are steadily present on Kaiyo, a passing of the torch, and all you can do is try to stop the bleeding.
If you truly thought about it, you could say your whole relationship had carried a disquieting dark shadow beneath its skin, something of a spreading blood wheel. You overlooked it anytime he was callous and unruly, youād cry and ache but it pleased you to know he still cared enough about himself to be angry.Ā
Soon after joining the league heād gradually plateaued, urges satisfied, and you shouldāve noticed.Ā
āMama, look,ā Kaiyo appears and lifts a thin sheet towards you, paper wrinkling under his chubby fingers, āI drawed dad!ā
āDrew,ā you warmly correct, cradling his cheeks as you duck to press a kiss to his forehead. The drawing is that of three stick figures, each one distinct with features. Touyaās figure has his black spiked hair, and across the lower half of its face is a purple shadow. His scars, you assume.Ā
It was all perfectly normal to Kaiyo; the sutures and rings, the burns, the ever present smell of smoke. From the moment he could open his eyes, they would follow his father with love and excitement. The admiration would sometimes unsettle Touya, too familiar, too much like looking into a reflection.Ā
āItās brilliant, baby,ā you tell him, gentle as you take it from his grasp, āshall we put it on the pinboard along with the others?ā
He huffs, incensed by your request, ābut I want to show my friends!ā
Therein lies the dilemma. You wonder how often this problem will crop up in the years to come, how quickly you might run out of acceptable excuses as he becomes old enough to understand. Dabi was too easily recognised, even in your son's amateur rendition of him.Ā
āI really love this one though Kai, it has all of us,ā you twist your lips into a cartoonish pout, pulling the sweet sound of a laugh from him, āplease can I keep it?ā
His childish glare withers as he fights a smile, the restrained happiness plain on his face and entirely contagious. āOk mama, I guess,ā he relents, innocent and forgiving, head tilted and cheeks pink under your praise. In moments like this, you can truly understand a parent's wish to freeze time.Ā
You recall Touyaās claim of putting good into the world before his death. You too could hardly believe that youād raised such an unequivocally good little boy. But as you watch your son appraise his art with an excited wiggle, youāre reminded that children are not a tool for redemption.Ā
āI love you,ā I promise Iāll be better for you, āand dad loves you too. How about we draw him another picture? Iāll do one aswell".Ā
āOkay!ā he takes your hand and begins to pull you along the hallway towards his room, your back bent uncomfortably to lessen his reach. Halfway to his destination, Kaiyo pauses, pulling anxiously at the hem of his metallica shirt.Ā
āWhen⦠When is dad coming back from work?āĀ
Thatās right. Work in Okinawa, youād told him. A terribly flimsy excuse given in a moment of panic. At the time you just wanted him to have a reason to hold onto, to reassure himself with, but it was slowly coming back to bite you.Ā
āHe still has a lot to do baby,ā an understatement if youād ever heard one, āitāll be a little while. But we can be patient, canāt we?ā
His lips purse into a pout, eyes shimmering with unshed tears as he bravely nods, and the thought of Reiās phone number waiting in your contacts lingers in the forefront of your mind.Ā
Truthfully it haunts you throughout the rest of your week, stomach lined thickly with guilt. You eat, you work, you walk Kaiyo to school with eyes on every corner. You sleep in Touyaās most recently worn hoodie and pretend itās his skin, his hands, too attached to his scent to wash it.Ā
Kaiyo continues to draw, to write and create. He brings graded homework back from school to keep in one of your old folders along with his other keepsakes; just in case Touya comes back, just so he can show him.Ā
You were looking over some of the old home made cards the night you finally called Rei, reliving another time and wondering if it ever really had been better, or if itād just been a figment of your imagination.Ā
It can be difficult to know when a memory has been altered by nostalgia.Ā
āWhatās this?ā Touya had said as Kaiyo handed him a Fatherās Day card, the inside lined with confetti and star sequins that toppled into his lap when opened.Ā
āIā I made it for you,ā Kaiyo had explained nervously with eyes wide, hands flexing at his sides, āsee⦠thatās you andā and me!āĀ
āThose potato shaped things are us?ā Kaiyo had visibly deflated even with Touyaās playful tone, āthis is pretty fuckinā cool if you ask meā.Ā
āFreakinā,ā youād gently chided, lacking any heat for it to sound truly scolding at the time, too pleased by Kaiyoās excited dancing. You recall the relaxed smirk on Touyaās lips and how heād pressed a kiss to your shoulder, a rare moment of him being truly at ease and present.Ā
āAnd the heart, why sāit blue and not red?āĀ
āBecause of your fire, dad!ā Kaiyo grinned as he lifted his arms, mimicking the pose of a hero, āI hope I have blue flames, just like youā.Ā
Fragile. You'd watched on as Touyaās expression became strained, closing the card and setting it on the table, āI guess we better keep it somewhere safe since you worked so hard on itā.Ā
Into the folder it went.Ā
You decide to make the leap the following morning, allowing Kaiyo to sleep a little longer while you sift through your shared wardrobe for a suitable outfit. Work had happily allowed you a day off ā even though they were chronically short staffed, you didnāt often call in sick so they were glad to give it to you.Ā
Usually Kaiyo would be dropped off with his sitter, an older woman known in the neighbourhood for fostering children. Sheād been around for a long time, had seen and worked with many a criminal, and she understood young people more than you could comprehend. You trusted her with your son, trusted that even if he unknowingly slipped up she wouldnāt say a thing.Ā
But today that wasnāt necessary. You feel the fabric of the small knitted sweater between your fingers, frowning at the aggravating itch. He wouldnāt wear this, too scratchy, but it was also the closest to nice clothing he had.Ā
It isnāt like youāre living in poverty, but one mistake and it could very well be a truth for you. Clothes were fine as long as they fit ā Kaiyo loved the little band tees his father would bring him more than anything, he didnāt care much for formal wear.Ā
The unbidden image of Touyaās displeased scowl flashing through your thoughts is enough for you to put the sweater back. Forcing Kaiyo to conform for the sake of his wealthier relatives, indicating that your own reality was something lesser, is something you wouldnāt do. Something Touya would hate you for.Ā
A small lump curled up beneath the futon covers begins to move. Kaiyo stirs, almost as if he can feel your turmoil, sleep lined eyes searching for you.Ā
āMa?āĀ
āMorninā, handsome,ā a smile pulls naturally at your lips and warmth unfurls in your chest when he reaches for you. Half of his hair is pressed flat to the side of his head where heād laid.Ā
He blinks slowly from your lap, his fathers nose wrinkling as he surveys the clothes youād been mulling over. Itās an unspoken question.Ā
āI have a surprise for you so I wanted to find something nice for you to wear,ā you tell him, hand rubbing along the length of his back. He perks up noticeably, foot kicking out against the sweater youād just been holding.Ā
āDonāt like that one,ā he says. You laugh, eyes closing for a moment to silently send thanks to Touya, even if he had just been a fleeting piece of your imagination.Ā
āThought so,ā you murmur, leaning forward to move it aside, āpick something for yourself, then. Make sure itās something youāll feel good in, because weāre going to meet some new people todayā.Ā
āWho?ā he asks, mouth wet and shaped into an āoā as he fists his hands into another one of his dark coloured t-shirts.Ā
āYou know how a lot of your friends have more than just a mother and father?ā
He mumbles a dejected āyesā.Ā
āWell, I know youāve been missing dad so I thought we might be able to connect with him in a different way,ā you explain, helping him lift his pyjama shirt over his head and refraining from pinching his belly.Ā
āWhat would you say if I told you⦠I was going to take you to see your grandma right now?āĀ
āGrandma?!ā he squeaks from behind the clean shirt you loop over his head, frowning then as you help him push his arms through the sleeves, releasing a small noise of complaint.Ā
āThatās right, your dad's mother,ā ā your smile dims slightly while he insists on dressing himself, reminded of how quickly the time has passed, how much he was growing ā āI guess he didnāt talk about his family a lot did he?ā
Kaiyo shakes his head excitedly, bouncing on his toes as he struggles to tug his pants over his clean underwear. He relents and allows you to do up the fiddly top button of his trousers.Ā
āThatās not allā¦āĀ
āMore?!ā
āYou have an auntie and two uncles,ā you tell him, and his hands fly to cover his mouth as he begins to dance with excitement. His joy is contagious, you feel it fill you and spill over as you pull him back into your lap, holding him tightly.Ā
Rei and the siblings, that had been the deal. No Endeavor. Touya may forgive the former, but never the latter. You wouldnāt do that to him.
It isnāt strenuous getting him out the door, but it is taxing to get him to the station, hair once again tucked under a knitted beanie despite the day's warmth. He jumps over the cracks in the pavement, follows the pattern with his feet, stops to greet every stray he sees.Ā
And you let him. Because his happiness is your own, and you dread to imagine him without it. Maybe it was selfish for you to cover his ears to the cruelty around him. He knew of fear, pain and crime, he knew that people sometimes did bad things to others. But it had never been personal to him, not yet.Ā
Perhaps the biggest question as a parent was just that ā at what point do you expose your children to what may hurt them?Ā
You had told Rei the cover story ahead of time, embarrassed by your own lies, but sheād been understanding. Gentle. Somehow it only left you more ashamed.Ā
You wanted to preserve the innocent lense in which he viewed the world, wanted to encase the image he held of his father in amber. Because when youāre a child, the power of those traumas stay with you, chemically alter you; they become the epicentre of your nightmares, they shape your convictions and morals, they fuel your will. Touya knew that more than anyone.Ā
You observe Kaiyo while he watches the surroundings change, clutching the backrest of his seat as he looks out the train window, propped up on his knees and ignorant of the glare from the elderly woman beside him. Folded on her lap is the morning newspaper, a grainy black and white photo of flames and the words āWhere is Endeavorās Villainous Son?ā printed across the front.Ā
You adjust the hat, his eyes fixed on the moving landscape. Heād never been this far out of the Kanagawa prefecture, Touyaās unease with regards to your safety always taking precedence over the freedom to explore, so you let him press his nose to the glass and laugh as his voice begins to vibrate with the train.Ā
āDo you remember the names I told you?ā
āYumi!ā
āFuyumi,ā you emphasise, tucking the tag by his neck back into the confines of his shirt, āwho else?ā
He holds out his fist, fingers unfurling one by one as he counts, seeking your praises as he goes. āFuyumi⦠Shouto⦠Natsuā¦o⦠Natsuo!ā
The two hour journey passes in what feels like a minute. With one blink the train arrives in Shizuoka, slow as it pulls up to the second platform, the anticipation knotting thickly like yarn in your gut. Kaiyo, as perceptive as he can be, is bubbling with too much enthusiasm to notice your inner turmoil.Ā
You hold him on your hip, arms pressing him close into your chest as the sliding doors part, and step into the throngs of people waiting to board the train. As if youād been in a soundproof bubble the noise of the city amplifies, a cacophony of voices and cries and whistles echoing uncomfortably in your ears. There are suits everywhere, hats tipped over eyes, too many unknowns in such a crowded space.Ā
The relief of stepping out onto the clear street almost buckles you. Kaiyo is squirming in complaint, wanting to be put back on the pavement but you hike him up a little higher. You couldnāt let him down, couldnāt let him out of reach, couldnāt let anyone take him.Ā
āSorry baby, you can walk soon. I just need to find the car firstāā
Youāre interrupted then by a low, nasal voice, startling you to pivot on your feet. Behind you stands a large figure, bowler hat held politely to his chest as he bows forward. Kaiyo shrinks into the crook of your neck at the sight of a stranger, sensing your unease. The man repeats your name, the well groomed moustache sitting on his top lip moving as he speaks, curled into spirals at either end. Heās formally dressed, wearing a three piece suit and a large black topcoat.Ā
āThat is you, correct?ā
Grappling at your thoughts, you recall the riddle that you had given to Rei after her suggestion of having you picked up. She hadnāt wanted you to make your own way there, adamant that the family staff would drive the two of you to her home, and you gave in only at the promise of a safeword.
You inhale to steady yourself. āWhat is it that, given one, youāll have either two or none?ā
His eyes soften considerably but it does nothing to soothe the tension, only when he gives you the answer do you let yourself relax. āA choice,ā he says, āmy apologies. I should have been more considerate of your circumstancesā.Ā
Circumstances. What a kind understatement.Ā
āMy name is Ono Hiroki, Iām under the service of Ms. Himura and will be your driver,ā he continues with a well meaning tilt to his head as he leans towards Kaiyo in greeting, āand what is the young master's name?ā
You feel your son shift beneath your chin, presumably to look up at Hiroki, but he remains stubbornly quiet. āThis is Kaiyo,ā the grip he has on your shirt lessens at the sound of your voice, āwe appreciate you coming out here to meet us but⦠please donāt refer to him with that titleā.Ā
Touya would turn his nose up if he heard. You can almost imagine the shiver that may have run down his back just now, wherever he may be, and the thought forces you to hide a smile into Kaiyoās knitted hat.Ā
āOf course,ā Hiroki assents, and he begins to lead you towards the car. You cringe at how obviously it stands out amongst the more common models, clearly something owned by someone with great wealth and status. Even with having chosen your best outfit, the clothes on your back suddenly felt like straw, cheap and unfit for the occasion.Ā
The drive is smooth, though your sense of time becomes warped ā had someone asked you how long it took to arrive, you wouldnāt have an answer for them. Kaiyo, just as he had done on the train, pressed his nose and fingers to the window; leaving behind murky smudges against the glass.Ā
As the car pulls to the curb youāre left feeling alienated by the neighbourhood. Worse, Hiroki steps out and speeds around to your door, opening it for you with a reflexive bow.Ā
It feels⦠uncomfortable.Ā
The property itself is walled off from the street and the building is large, though youāre sure thatās only in comparison to your own homes. Youāre drawn in by the greenery that surrounds it, though the trees were likely put there for the sake of privacy the garden was clearly a labour of love.Ā
It appears to be a single story house, the roofs tiled dark brown with broad waves and an exterior hallway that frames around each room. You could picture Rei tending to her garden while her children sat on the veranda in the summer months.Ā
It was beautiful.Ā
Hiroki slowly leads you up the path, the gravel between each step crunching beneath your shoes. The pace can be attributed to Kaiyoās adamance in standing on each individual stone, which the man kindly indulges.Ā
The entrance is made up of a large sliding door with plaster slitted windows. Hiroki pushes it across and moves aside to allow you into the house. You murmur in wonderment at the width of the genkan, the wall above the shoe cupboardĀ lined with traditional calligraphy.Ā
āYesā itās fine! Iāll bring them throughā¦ā
A sweet, familiar voice echoes throughout the entryway. Kaiyo tucks himself against the back of your knees as Fuyumi rounds the corner, socked feet slipping slightly on the wooden flooring in her excitement.Ā
Her lips part to greet you, the words caught in her throat as her gaze is drawn to the movement behind your legs. Typically Kaiyo could be quite rambunctious around others, loud and eager to befriend others. Here you can feel his anxiety, how small he must feel in this large, unfamiliar place.Ā
Fuyumi, too, is at a loss for words. A little pale, teary eyed as she blinks, visibly composing herself in front of you both.Ā āItās good to see you again, Fuyumi,ā you say as the silence stretches on, taking pity on her.Ā
Her demeanour lightens, and she appears grateful. Somehow her awkward loss of words and your son's hesitance lent you courage even if you, too, did not have your footing.Ā
āHow about we take off our shoes and make proper introductions?ā the question ends with a soft hum, a gentle verbal push, reaching back to pluck the hat from Kaiyoās head.Ā
His hair is mussed, cowlicks pointed in all directions after being pressed beneath the yarn. You run your hand through it, wetting the pads of your fingers to flatten some of the more unruly curls down until theyāre neat. The red is brighter in the sunlit genkan, and Fuyumi does well to conceal her sharp inhale.Ā
Kaiyo steps forward, nervously wringing out the material of his t-shirt, and Fuyumi lowers herself to his height as if approaching a cornered animal. Tender with her motions, she reaches out to still his anxious tic, ducking her head to smile where he can see it. A teacher, you remember.Ā
āItās so wonderful to meet you Kaiyo. Iām your aunt Fuyumi,ā she says. He turns over his wrist and takes three of her fingers into his fist, head nodding forward in what you know to be a bow.Ā
āNice to meet you, aunt Fuyumi,ā he replies.Ā
āDonāt worry about formalities, sweetheart,ā she uses her free hand to straighten out the hem of the shirt, her eyes flickering over the logo with some recognition, āyou can call me āYumi. You are my nephew, after allā.Ā
Kaiyo straightens his back, overjoyed by the privilege, and looks up to share the feeling with you. If you could read his thoughts youād guess it was something along the lines of told you her name was āYumi, mama.Ā
āNatsuo isnāt here yet as he stayed overnight at his girlfriend's dorm,ā Fuyumi continues as she rises to her feet, still keeping a firm hold of Kaiyoās hand, ābut mother and Shouto are in the tatami room. She likes having all the doors open on a day like this while we sit together, would you like to meet them?ā
āYes!ā. In his excitement he pushes up onto the tip of his toes, shedding his timid attitude and grinning so wide his cheeks begin to pinken. Itās infectious, Fuyumi brightening considerably at his sudden comfort in her presence, and she begins to guide you both through the house.Ā
Soft spoken murmurings become louder as you approach the open sliding door into what you presume is the tatami room. Kaiyo pauses a few steps before, hidden behind the panel, waiting until youāre close enough for him to wrap an arm around your thigh.Ā
āYouāre ok, baby,ā you whisper warmly, āletās go in togetherā.Ā
You enter the room with an awkward gait, slowed by the weight of your son against your leg, the matts firm beneath your feet. Immediately you are embraced by the scent of earth and autumn bellflower. Rei is seated on a pale green cushion across from Shouto, cross legged and holding a steaming cup of tea with both hands, on the table between them is a vase blooming purples and blues. You garner their attention, self-consciousness twisting uncomfortably in your chest as they appraise you and Kaiyo, a part of you always ready to jump to his defences.Ā
But the two, despite the cool air and unreadable expressions, only seem to thaw as their eyes fall to your son.Ā
The light knock of Shoutoās mug levelling atop the table surface brings you above water. āGreet your grandmother properly, sweetheart,ā you step further into the space and lower to your knees, Kaiyo mirroring your actions with caution, facing Rei with his hands resting politely on his knees.Ā
You bow forward, thank you for having us Ms. Himura, and watch with fond exasperation as Kaiyo leans until his forehead is touching the tatami in your peripheral. āItās nice to meet you, grandmother. Itāsā itās nice to meet you, uncle Shouto,ā he recites, āmy name is Kaiyo!ā
You smile at the force behind the words, as if heād practised them in his mind repeatedly before arriving. Rei appears to come to the same conclusion, returning the words and beckoning him to sit beside her, and Fuyumi ushers you to take a seat by Shouto.
In closing the distance Rei appears mystified, eyeline wet as she blinks back the tears, hands lifting to cradle your son's face in her palms. Kaiyo tenses for a moment on contact, shoulders relaxing as her thumbs graze over the swell of his cheeks. You wonder who she was truly seeing as she looked at Kaiyo, a little boy almost identical to her own. āMy hands are a little cold, arenāt they?ā her voice is soft, weak. Thereās an intonation of grief, of regret, and an apology in her eyes.Ā
And your son, ever loving and perceptive, covers them with his own as if to tell her it doesnāt bother him in the slightest. Then he shifts closer on his knees until heās tucked against her chest, her chilled touch running along the length of his back as she holds him. At your side you feel Shouto exhale a short, hot breath of emotion.Ā
āTea?ā
You look to see Fuyumi has set out more cups, now with a pale cream teapot in her grip, unphased by the temperature as tendrils of steam wisp and dance from the spout. Along the curve of her jaw is a single tear, and she tilts to wipe it on her shoulder with a weak sniffle. You feel it too, pulling the sleeves of your shirt over your wrists to conceal the trembling, lifting your chin to keep the emotions behind your eyelids.
āThatād be great,ā you nod, accepting the cup that Shouto slides towards you, āthank youā.Ā
Youāre tempted to thank Fuyumi again as you bring the ceramic to your lips, a slight sting to the skin of your palms and your lower lip, breathing in the potent scent of green tea. This family must enjoy it a little stronger, steeping the leaves for longer, the bitterness heavy on your tongue. There is at least some respite in the distraction it provides ā you could not talk if your mouth was busy.Ā
Kaiyo ignores the silences, leaving his grandmother's lap to squeeze himself next to Shouto. You try not to laugh, the youngest at a loss for what to do as your son looks up at him in wonderment and admiration, though it is hard to restrain yourself at the barrage of questions Kaiyo targets him with.Ā
āAre you really going to be a pro hero, uncle Shouto?ā
āI am,ā he replies solemnly, āIāll be a hero that my family can rely on. Do you want to be a hero?ā
āHell no!āĀ
āKaiyoāā
āIām going to go to space,ā he barrels on without a care, too wrapped up in his own passion to recognise the informality, but with Reiās quiet laugh you realise there was no need to worry. As Kaiyo stumbles over his words about asteroids and comets, about how the sunset on mars is blue and isnāt that so cool, Shouto seems to relax even further.Ā
āHe doesnāt think heās good at talking to children,ā Fuyumi whispers at your side, ābelieve me, Kaiyo is doing him a favourā.Ā
Even as the time passes Shoutoās tea remains steaming in his left hand while yours begins to cool, and Rei observes their back and forth with an autumn bellflower petal between her fingers, gently as she handles it like it were something precious. Thereās no tension, any growing pains soothed as Kaiyo soaks up the attention, the beating heart of the room.Ā
āIām gonna go to space anā clean up all the junk,ā he announces. A goal that youād heard many a time, manifested in his fathers arms one evening as theyād sat together watching a pre-quirk era documentary about space travel.Ā
āPro heroes came along and suddenly we forgot everything that used to be important to us,ā Touya muttered, āgoing to space isāā
āāa hero's job in its own right,ā Shouto says.Ā
You do well not to drop your drink as Kaiyo launches himself into Shoutoās lap, one of his arms outstretched to not spill his own while the other steadies the boy to his chest. Gleeful, childish laughter wells throughout the room, paired with the balmy sun and the whistle of a Japanese tit flitting through the gardens.Ā
āDad told me that too,ā you feel as the mother, the sister and the brother all hold their breath at the mention of Touya, the one topic they werenāt sure if they could even touch upon, ādo you really think so, uncle Shouto?āĀ
āI doā¦ā he shifts, hugging Kaiyo only after glancing at you for permission, ā...and you donāt need to prefix my name with āuncleā every time. You can be casualā.Ā
āPrefix?āĀ
āA word that comes before another,ā you interject gently, āhe means you can just call him Shouto, babyā.Ā
In that instance your back straightens at the sound of another voice ringing throughout the house, low and distant. āIām home,ā they shout with familiarity, āsorry Iām late!ā.
Fuyumi jumps to her feet, leaving to meet the new arrival, and Kaiyo watches her go with a chubby fist curled into Shoutoās sweater. He pats his hand awkwardly to Kaiyoās thigh in reassurance, ādonāt worry, itās just Natsuo. Heās my other older brotherā.Ā
Kaiyo lessens his grip, tentative as he watches the open doorway, and you canāt help but to reflexively reach out to pinch his cheek. āItāll be fine,ā you murmur.Ā
Your first impression of Natsuo is that heās much bigger than his siblings. He mustāve inherited his build from his father and his demeanour in spite of him, because even with the chill that he brings, his grin is refreshing. The type of person that sets you at ease and wordlessly invites you in, that actively wants you to feel welcomed.Ā
āWow, youāre really here. Youāre reallyā¦ā Natsuo's throat bobs as he swallows his next words, silenced by Fuyumiās encouraging touch. Rather, he hastily greets his mother with a kiss to the cheek, and then he settles down at the table facing Kaiyo.Ā
A litany of emotions flicker through his face, like he wasnāt sure how he was supposed to feel. Even so, his smile doesnāt waver as he introduces himself to you, nervously rubbing his neck as he bows.Ā
āAnd you must be Kaiyo. Iām Natsuo, I guess that makes me your uncle,ā he inhales deeply, chest expanding and falling, āyou⦠you really do look like your dadā.Ā
He sounds mournful. Kaiyo senses the change in atmosphere, though he doesnāt understand it, and the anxiety settles into his restless fingers as they pick a thread loose from Shoutoās sweater.Ā
Fuyumi lightly swats at him: āNatsuo, youāre freaking them out!āĀ
He gives a wounded complaint, dramatic only in a way you can find with siblings as he clutches at his bicep, and Kaiyo laughs. Like it was called upon, the sun moves from behind a cloud and brightens the room.Ā
āSorry, buddy. I didnāt mean to be awkward, I was just surprised,ā he says.Ā
Kaiyo slides down from Shoutoās lap, the youngest briefly forlorn at the loss before schooling his expression once more. āItās ok, mama said I look like dad too. Thatās why Iām so handsome,ā he grins triumphantly.Ā
Your chest knots tightly at the spotlight it shines on your relationship with Touya, thoughts running amok with assumptions of what they must think of you, whether they approve of how you have raised Kaiyo. But despite your inner conflict the family donāt flinch, in fact ā they smile with him.Ā
āTouya was indeed a beautiful little boy,ā Rei briefly looks at the purple petal still held between her fingers, āI have a lot of pictures here. Would you like to see?āĀ
Kaiyo scrambles, almost knocking the table as he stands, āyes please, grandmother!ā
Thereās an air of nostalgia as she leans down to take his smaller hand into her own, in the way he looks up with love, height falling just short of her hip. The last time she had seen her children this size had been before she was sent away. You canāt even begin to comprehend such a loss.
āJust 'grandma' is fine,ā she assures, and Kaiyo bounces with each step as they leave to find the photographs.Ā
You realise, then, that you are left alone with the siblings. Fuyumi pours more tea, the sound of running water loud in your ears, Natsuoās words barely audible to you.Ā
āI wanted to thank you,ā he says, cup in hand with his thumb anxiously tapping the rim, āfor being there for Touya when we couldnāt be. For bringing Kaiyo here even when you have every right to distrust usā.Ā
The words pick away at the composure youād maintained throughout the morning, their gratitude, while completely genuine, feels undeserved. In the grand scheme of things your relationship to Touya had not changed much at all, perhaps heād staved off his mission for a while to play house with you, but the outcome was the same.Ā
āIt isnāt you that I distrust,ā the āEndeavorā goes unspoken, āI wanted Kaiyo to keep his connection to his father. And you donāt need to thank me, I didnātā¦ā
Didnāt help him. Didnāt save him. Didnāt stop him. You only loved him. You laid with him in darkness and thought if you held him tight enough that something might crack, that the light might get in.Ā
āWhat I did wasnāt enough,ā you tell them, the words broken with your wet exhale, āit was your actions, your dedication to understanding him. Itās⦠itās you I should thank, Shoutoā.
āStill,ā Fuyumi is tender as she speaks, her hand resting between your shoulder blades, āknowing that all that time he wasnāt alone, knowing that he had you, it means a great deal to us allā.Ā
Even if he hadnāt been alone for those few years, there was still a rotten past from before he met you that he wouldnāt touch. Touya, stone faced and eyes narrowed, watching you from beneath the sheets of his hospital bed as if he were a wounded animal. Your slow, telegraphed actions, promising respite. Thatās why despite wanting to stay away from you, he couldnāt ā because you saw who he was, and you still loved him. The burning flesh, the distended skin, the smoke and the blood. You saw the bodies on the news, you saw the flames across the city, and you still loved him.Ā
Maybe that was the only thing you got right; because there isnāt much else worse than someone loving the potential of who you could be, or loving someone youāre not. In the end, you think, we all want to be seen first and loved second.Ā
āI do think heās worried about you,ā Shouto interjects plainly, ā heās not directly asking about your wellbeing because he doesnāt want to reveal your identity, but the staff say heās restlessā.Ā
āYou can be quite perceptive, Shouto,ā Fuyumi says.Ā
āA friend of mine has told me that before,ā thereās a flicker of a smile pulling at his lips and it warms his expression. If you needed to attach a word to it youād pick fond.Ā
āThough he also said I make all the wrong assumptions about what Iām seeing,ā he exhales through his nose in what you think might be a laugh, āthatās why I went to my mother first. This seemed⦠too important to be wrong aboutā.
āIām truly grateful for your discretion,ā you wipe a tear along the heel of your hand, ignoring the sting in your sinuses, āand for your acceptance of usā.
āYouāre our family now,ā Natsuoās grin widens, āand I canāt say I wasnāt curious ābout the kind of person my brother fell in love withā.
You knew what Touya would say to that. You're too good for me, I donāt want to hurt you. You shouldāve seen through it then, with every premature apology. People only say those things when they know theyāre going to hurt you.Ā
Over your thoughts you hear the siblings begin to talk again with affection, your eyes drawn to the empty end of the table. You should be here, you think, I wish you were here.Ā
Kaiyo returns excitedly with a large picture frame held to his chest, the paint worn and flaking, encasing an old school photograph of Touya. His uniform is buttoned to the top, face youthful and pale, not a scar to be seen. You recall his discomfort with high collared clothing, always irritable against his sutures.Ā
Following behind is Rei with an album of family pictures. Some of them have been awkwardly cut, some burnt along the edges, some faces notably scribbled over with a pen almost out of ink.
āMama look, he really does look like me. And dadās hair was white! Did he colour it like that, too?ā
āNo sweetheart,ā you murmur with gaze fixed to the page as it turns in Reiās lap, the siblings all gathered around to look, āremember, he told you he had red hair like yours, but it changed like magicā.Ā
āSo cool,ā he mumbles in awe under his breath, ādad is so coolā.Ā
Rei stiffens minutely. Maybe that, too, was uncomfortably familiar.Ā
The conversation continues into the late afternoon, moving only to sit beneath the clear skies and stretch your legs, Rei guiding you along her well loved flowerbeds. They tell Kaiyo stories of his father, diluted but true for the most part, their smiles tightening with the memories. It feels odd, wrong, mourning a man that is very much alive. You give them a piece of him and in exchange, they offer one back as the hours pass. You come to know another Touya ā their Touya ā and when you line him up aside your own you find that they arenāt all that different.Ā Ā
As Kaiyoās confidence grows with his newfound family he begins to wander. Natsuo lifts him into the air and he laughs joyfully, a sound you wish you could solidify and keep by your breast, and they take off to hide in the house with Fuyumi close behind.Ā
āAre you sure itās ok for him to play indoors? Iād hate to leave any messāā
Rei smiles. The light reflects against the crown of her head forming something of a white halo and Shouto is at her side, eyes softening at his mothers happiness.Ā
āI assure you itās alright,ā she says, ātruthfully I think Iāve missed the messā.Ā
You think of toys left astray, crayon smudging cheap wallpaper, juice rings staining the coffee table. Marks of your little boy left all around the apartment. Touya cursing as he steps on a building block, hopping on one leg theatrically to make Kaiyo laugh. Touya spilling the warm bottle of milk as he falls asleep and Kaiyo on his chest, exhausted from a day without rest.Ā
āI know what you mean,ā you reply.Ā
Shouto only blinks. You couldnāt imagine that he was allowed to make much of a mess at all, and that thought alone makes you ache. His brow furrows then, and anticipation settles in your gut.Ā
āThere was something we wanted to ask of you now Kaiyo is distracted,ā he seeks Reiās support as he talks, and she nods gently before turning to face you.Ā
āAs weāve told you⦠Touya is not being cooperative to treatment. In all honesty, we are getting anxious that he will be removed from the programme,ā she says with regret, āyou are free to refuse. But as you suggested when we first met, I thought he might benefit from knowing youāre safeā.
It feels as if the ground beneath your feet has steepened, a weightlessness flooding through your chest, and you reach for the closest pillar on the veranda to steady yourself.Ā
āYouāll let me visit him?āĀ
āStrings can be pulled to get you a visitor's pass,ā Shouto confirms sagely, ātypically it is for professionals or family. Which you now areā.
You hadnāt even let yourself entertain the idea of being able to see him again. The possibility of hearing his voice, of holding him again, felt too good to be true.Ā
āAnd Kaiyo? Where will he stay?ā you ask, āI canāt take him with me, I donāt want him to see his father like thatāāĀ
Approaching you from the house is the soft, pitter patter of socked feet. You feel a weight fall on your back, Kaiyo interrupting to wrap his limbs around your waist and neck, giggling into your nape. Natsuo lands unceremoniously on the tatami matts, leaning himself against the inside of the sliding door panels with pink blossoming on his cheeks, ādamn, kid. Youāve got too much energyā.
āYour house is so big, grandma,ā the words carrying a little embarrassment as Kaiyo says āours is a lot smallerā.
āSometimes houses are too big,ā Natsuo reassures as he slumps forward to rest his chin against his fist, āyou can get lost and feel lonely in a big house. I bet at your place, you can always find your mama, huh?āĀ
He nods, bouncing on the balls of his feet and rocking your body forward with the motions, ādoes that mean dad was lonely in the big house?āĀ
Reiās hands wring tightly in her lap, the question pulling a forlorn atmosphere over the three, and youāre quick to try and rectify it. āEven if he was, he wonāt be anymore because he has you,ā you say as you twist your body to pull him into your arms, squirming as your touch curls against his ticklish stomach, āisnāt that right?āĀ
āYes,ā he stammers between deep inhales, giggles tumbling from his lips and ringing across the garden. Rei reaches to thread her fingers through his hair, the red stark against her skin.
āYou are both free to sleep in my guestroom tonight,ā she offers warmly in response to your earlier concern, āwe will watch him while youāre busy tomorrowā.Ā
āWe can have a sleepover!ā Natsuo shouts, the excitement forcing him to sit straight and eyes gleaming. Kaiyo gasps, mirroring his uncles enthusiasm as he clings to your shoulders. Shouto, however, remains plain faced as his gaze flickers between the two.Ā
āIs it really that fun?ā he asks. You hide your abrupt laugh into Kaiyoās hair as Natsuoās expression settles into disbelief.Ā
āWhat? Youāve never had a sleepover in the dorms?ā
āWe have a curfew,ā Shouto shrugs, and Natsuo guffaws.
āWhat the f⦠heck is wrong with your schoolāā
As they bicker you observe contentment settle around Rei. A gentle breeze passes through the shrubbery and you hear the leaves rustling, light breaking through the canopy above and dancing along the grass. Fuyumi calls everyone back into the house as the scent of curry is coaxed out into the open, and you all make your way to the dining area.Ā
The night comes sooner than you expect. Kaiyo whines at the full feeling in his stomach, cheeks orange and smattered in sauce. Apparently Rei brought over all the childrens things during her move ā everything, from toys to certificates to baby clothes, and youāre offered the hand me downs with a wistful smile.Ā
Aside from the red sleeves the shirt is white, a flame embroidered into the centre and the word fire written below it. Then youāre given an old blanket, slightly thread bare and clearly well loved. It is a light purple, faded after years of being washed, and dotted with stars. Itād belonged to Touya, sheād said, he always loved stars. Kaiyo clutches it tightly to his chest where he lay across from you on the guest futon.Ā
āDid you have fun today?ā
The covers shift, a tell tale sign that heās kicking his feet. āYes mama,ā he mumbles, nose wrinkling as he fights to keep his eyes open, āI feel really happyā.Ā
āI love you baby,ā you hum fondly, leaning over to needlessly readjust the covers once more, if only for an excuse to kiss his forehead again, āare you sure youāll be alright while Iām gone tomorrow?āĀ
Kaiyo nods, cheek turned against his pillow, jaw already slackening as he succumbs to sleep. It isnāt home, thereās no glowing iridescence on your bedroom ceiling tonight, but the space across from you feels empty as it always does.Ā
āWatching you two sleep soundly together was the happiest Iād ever been,ā heād said. You have no doubt in your mind that he had been telling you the truth.Ā
When you're pulled into consciousness it happens gently, the house so quiet that itās unsettling. You were used to rousing with voices in the streets, car engines spluttering as they passed, thuds from the apartment above your own. Here itās peaceful, a reality that you never thought youād come close to, and for a moment you can hardly believe youāre awake.Ā
The staff offer to make the two of you breakfast but you politely refuse, a possessive twist in your stomach. Accepting help never came easily to you, a deeply buried seed of insecurity in your heart that first leapt to defensiveness. You could feed your son just fine on your own.Ā
Rei joins you soon after tending to her potted plants, Kaiyo pushing up onto the tip of his toes to kiss her cheek as she holds her dirtied hands away from his clean clothes, passing by you to wash the soil from between her fingers. āGrandma, will you have breakfast with us?ā
āOf course,ā she smiles.Ā
The rest of the family slowly trickles into the dining room with slow, sleep leaden movements. A full table, a full heart, a full stomach. Breakfast tastes all the better in their company, even Kaiyo seems to have soaked up the serene atmosphere as he quietly recounts a strange memory he had to Fuyumi.Ā
Still, the dread begins to settle, your knee bouncing restlessly and concealed by the table cloth. Hiroki enters the house with a deep bow and a lanyard around his wrist, your ID badge clipped securely to the end. āItās best we leave now to avoid any run-ins with the press,ā he tells you apologetically, āthe likelihood is low. But Iād like to completely mitigate the chance, if possibleā.Ā
Kaiyo lingers in the genkan, shifting on either foot, fiddling with the strings on his sleep shorts. āIāll be back later, baby,ā you hook your pinky around his and squeeze, āI promiseā.
He presses a wet kiss to your cheek and you do not wipe it away, the morning air cooler on the skin where the imprint is left. An off duty officer waits by the curb to follow behind Hirokiās vehicle ā another safety precaution, they say ā and he opens the side door on your behalf.Ā
āWhat will happen once we get there?ā you ask, stare fixed on the streets as they speed past, flocks of people continuing with their days as normal. The thin, plastic card in your hands feels like lead.Ā
āUpon arrival the officer will escort you to the reception as I am not permitted to enter the building,ā he explains while subtly adjusting the rear view mirror to watch you, āyou will sign yourself in and then youāll just have to wait. Iām afraid Master Touya isnāt aware that you are his visitor, so itās entirely possible heāll refuse to see youā¦ā
Eventually the words become muffled, a disjointed hum in your ears, and your fingers tighten around the lanyard. You play out every hypothetical in your head, try to script questions in preparation, explanations and excuses. But you come up empty.Ā
Anything that you think of would be rendered useless as soon as you laid eyes on him.Ā
Pulling in, you survey the land. The facility is double fenced, double gated, and for all intents and purposes it looks to be a prison. There are patients spread out across the grounds, some lounging in the shade while others gathered under staff supervision.Ā
Surprisingly you are hesitant to part ways with Hiroki, the man bidding you goodbye with a bow and with promise to pick you up as soon as youāre done. The click of your shoes echoes throughout the building as you walk, the accompanying officer striding ahead of you and silent, beckoning you hastily through the security scanners.
A man stands incredibly tall behind the desktop screen situated atop the main desk, large auburn jackrabbit ears protruding from the crown of his head, paired with two large antlers. As you approach his nose wrinkles.Ā
āPass?ā he asks, interrupting any chance of you greeting him. You swallow the agitation in your chest and show him the ID card, to which he scans with a handheld device and waits until it beeps. Satisfied, he hands you a clipboard detailing a list of names and tells you to find yours.Ā
āWrite your signature in the arrival slot, and when you leave write it in the departure slot. Wait to be called upon in the seating areaā.Ā
You exhale shakily as you sink into your chair, taking in the room, unable to describe it as anything other than impersonal. You had spent a good deal of adulthood working in a clinical setting, and yet this place only seems to make you uneasy. No colourful posters, no informative leaflets, no magazines for people to read. No stickers by the doors, no colour in the staff uniform, guards posted at every entrance.Ā
Eventually a red light above the doors to the wards flashes red, a loud buzz cutting through the silence and startling you so harshly your chair scrapes against the tile. A doctor calls your name from the doorway, all eight of her beady eyes observing closely as you get to your feet.Ā
āThe patient is being given forty milligrams of quirk suppressant every four hours while he acclimates to his skin grafts. So rest assured he will not burn you,ā ā you quickly smother your anger at her insinuation ā āsince you have a high ranking family pass, contact has been allowed, but if anything goes awry there are guards posted at the doorā.Ā
Youāre barely given time to process her explanation or the new information as she abruptly comes to a halt, almost stumbling into her back. All eight of her eyes blink at you expectantly as the door clicks open, inclining you to enter.Ā
āThank you,ā you mutter as you pass, flinching when the door once again clicks shut. You steel yourself with a deep inhale, lungs ballooning to expend the anxiety spiking throughout your chest, and lift your head.Ā
The air remains there, held in your mouth so as not to make a sound. Touya stands across the threshold with his back to you, facing the wide barred up windows and observing the other patients. Heās in a loose fitting tāshirt and pants, all white and blending into the rest of the room. Where the collar dips below his nape you can see pink, inflamed skin, and for a moment you are reminded of your first meeting.Ā
āFinally decided to come look your failure in the eye, did you?ā his voice is harsh, like talking through gritted teeth and lilted with sarcasm. Youāre frozen in place, muscles tensed as if you were bracing for impact, throat swelling just from hearing him speak again.Ā
āHate to say it but thereās no cameras here,ā he laughs, a hollow and dry sound as he begins to turn, āso you can drop the fuckinā actāā
The anger dissipates as soon as he meets your gaze, his seething grin slipping until his jaw slacks in surprise. Even as your eyes sting you cannot blink for fear that heāll disappear, a wishful figment of your imagination. Heās really here, a few feet from you, flesh and blood and breath.Ā
Closer now, you can clearly see there are lines of scarring where his previous body had been sutured together. No longer held by staples and rings, the patchwork skin fitting the curve of his cheeks without pulling taut and tearing. He doesnāt wince in discomfort as his expression contorts into disbelief, as his brows pinch and he starts toward you.Ā
āWhat the fuck do you think youāre doing here?āĀ
Even with the obvious ire behind his words you arenāt frightened by him. Your legs carry you to meet him halfway, reflexively reaching out for him in all the ways you had longed to over the past few months, only for him to catch you by your wrists. His grip tightens in warning, answer me he snaps, but his demand goes ignored. Youāre focused entirely on how cold he feels, sharp around your forearms, just like his tongue.Ā
āYouāre freezing,ā you whisper.
He huffs in exasperation, a sound you never knew you could miss. āI know,ā he says, dropping your arms as his hold loosens and you silently mourn the loss, āitās like this all the fuckinā time nowā.Ā
āBecause you donāt have your quirk?āĀ
He nods curtly, lips twisting in disdain, the confusion in his eyes sinking through realisation and settling on betrayal. āYouāve been getting cosy with my family, haven't you? Itās the only way you wouldāve been able to get in here,ā he sneers.
You rub away the chill from your inner wrist, following him further into the room as he walks away from you, pleading with him to listen before he makes any assumptions. āTouya, it isnāt what youāre thinkingāā
āDonāt call me that!ā
Your own anger steers you then, frustrated by his refusal to hear you.Ā āTouya. Touya. Touya. Touya,ā you repeat childishly until he spins on his heel to glare at you. Iām going to keep your name in my mouth until my last breath, you think.Ā Arguing, scowling, youāll take anything in this moment as long as he keeps looking at you.Ā
āYour mother and sister tracked me down, I didnāt go looking for themāā your own fault, you shouldnāt have been there āāthey wanted to help me. They wanted to look out for your son!ā
He hums like he doesn't believe it, and the forced amusement in his smirk irritates you, crawling hot through your chest. āI bet youāve been enjoying all that bastard's money, right? Heās got plenty to throw at you and keep you quietā.
You almost forget to breathe with how his accusation takes you by the throat, the regret crossing his features being the only thing keeping you in the room. Itās hard to handle his vitriol when it is directed at you, hard to see him like this, so wounded and cornered. In his mind you have gone behind his back, you have sought help from the people who hurt him the most, and you are only here on their orders.Ā
Itās a cycle he cannot break from. Heās gone again, tethered still to the world, but they are all moving on without him. Heās gone again, tucked away where no one needs to look at him, and they are all better for it.Ā
āI have not met Endeavor and I have made it clear that Kaiyo will not meet him either,ā you tell him firmly, āI have not, and will not, accept financial help from that man. You⦠Iād never do that to youā.Ā
He wilts then, partially limbless as he sinks back against the hospital bed frame tucked beneath the barred window, covers still spotless and unused. As you glance up at the star-less ceiling, you wonder if he manages to get any sleep at all.Ā
āWhy are you here?ā he asks again, no fight left in his words. Without the bravado to keep him up he looks exhausted, torpid. You join him cautiously, settling yourself on the edge of the mattress.Ā
āTo reassure you that weāre okay. That we arenāt in any danger,ā you murmur, splaying your hand out in the space between your bodies, āweāre worried about you, Touya. Why arenāt you talking to them?ā
He rests his hand beside yours, stretching out his pinky to hook over your own; the one youād linked with Kaiyo only two hours before. āWhat good would that do?ā he says, āIām defective and this is just a waste of taxpayers money. Why let me live in the first place?ā
The worst part of it all is the grating monotony in his tone, the total disregard for his own life and wellbeing. āDonāt say things like that,ā you rasp, āit isnāt true. You have a real chance to do better nowā.
āFuck you,ā he snorts without malice, giving a light shake of his head as he continues, āI was always going to end up here. You knew the path I was going to take from the startā.Ā
āAnd so did you, Touya!āĀ
The words come hoarse as they catch in your throat, heavy where they press against your nerves. Around you the room becomes smaller, stifling, and yet he is still miles from your reach. Youād do anything if only it meant wiping that look of indifference from his face.Ā
āYou knew, and you could have made the effort to change. Donāt act as if this was predestined for you, it was your own choices that led you hereāāĀ
āThis wouldnāt be happening if you just hadnāt come looking for me!ā
āOf course I looked for you,ā you pleaded with him, āwhat would you have had me tell Kaiyo?ā
āThat I was dead,ā he replies plainly, āhe wouldāve been better offā.
āYouā¦ā fatigue floods your system and you feel yourself sink back against the bed frame āā¦you truly believe thatā.Ā
You don't sob, don't let yourself whimper, you simply let the salty burn overtake your vision and clog your throat, thick and cloying. āDonāt cry,ā he murmurs, āyou know Iām bad with cryingā.Ā
āYouāre crying too,ā and he laughs humourlessly, eyes still dry. Amongst the quiet you can hear people outside talking, the window panel slightly ajar to let in a continuous breeze, carrying in the scent of spring. You shiver, and when his icy touch begins to move away you upturn your hand, interlocking your fingers together to keep him there.Ā
You can feel him watching you as you appraise his belongings. No character, no personality, everything looks brand new and unused. Compared to your stingy one bedroom apartment tucked away in the sparse Yokohama neighbourhoods, this place was completely lifeless. He must hate it here, waking up in yet another unfamiliar place against his will, treated as if he were something to fix.
Though after everything heās been through, it must be a relief to do something bad and be punished for it, rather than to be punished for all the things you couldnāt do.Ā
āHow is he?ā he asks, ending the drawn out silence.Ā
āHe knows something isnāt right,ā you say, feeling the chill along your wet cheeks, āhe wants to see youā.
He makes a sound of acknowledgement as he strokes his thumb along the back of your hand. You tighten your grip, still habitually cautious of the sutures that are no longer embedded into his skin. āWhat a kid wants isnāt always whatās good for themā.
āThatās priceless coming from you,ā you huff, and he knocks his shoulder against yours in response. Bittersweet, you recall how you sat beside him on a hospital bed just like this five years ago, IV hooked into his veins to ward off infection. Hair white, skin mottled, growing accustomed to your freely given affections.Ā
You breathe, the exhale long, and lean your weight into his side. Your hands, still interwoven, rest together in your lap. āWe just wanted to be closer to you,ā you tell him, your apology unspoken, āKaiyo misses you. I miss you. Even if Iām angry with you, donāt ever believe that we arenāt thinking of youā.Ā
The word sorry does not come naturally to Touya, it never has. Remorse was best shown through action, overbearing attention and unnecessary gift giving that only ever left you wondering who heād stolen from. When he rests his cheek atop your head, nuzzling softly into your hair, you know heās trying to apologise as well.Ā
So you recount everything that happened over the past two weeks. Of nightmares and paranoia, of old photographs and starless ceilings, of autumn bellflowers and cultural dissonance. You rush each story, unsure of how much time you would be allowed in this place, nor how often you would be able to visit. And he listens, slowly sagging against you the more you speak, your bodies two beams upheld by the other.Ā
āOh, and the driver called him āyoung masterā at first,ā a small grin pulls at your lips at his amused snort, the only sign that he was still awake, āI know. I told him right away not⦠not to call him that. I knew youād hate thatā.
His muscles tense then as an intrusive knock reverberates throughout the room, a white knuckled grip on your hand at the interruption. The doctor from before steps into the threshold and is followed closely by one of the guards, eight eyes blinking simultaneously as she takes in the scene, her expression unreadable.Ā
āYour allotted time for visitation is up,ā she says, her voice softer than before and perhaps even tinted with regret, āIāll give you a few moments to say goodbye and notify your driverā.Ā
A part of you wishes that the wordless goodbye you gave back at the hospital by the hyacinth beds had been your last, because this time around it is impossibly harder. If his expression is anything to go by you think, if he could, Touya would freeze your hands together in an eternal block of ice.Ā
āTouya,ā he begrudgingly meets your gaze, āwhat happened to you was undoubtedly a tragedy. Still youā you hurt people, and you need to accept that. Iām not going to tell you to forgive anyone, you donāt have to, butā¦ā
You lean forward, pressing your forward to his āā¦even if others canāt, I want you to forgive yourselfā.
āFor who I was or for who I wasnāt?ā he mutters, so close you can see the stray white stripes in his eyelashes. The doctor clears her throat quietly where she lingers by the door, and so you get to your feet. His throat bobs as he swallows, expression suddenly pleading as you let him go, and you take his face between your hands.Ā
His cheeks are rough, the sore skin raised under the pads of your thumb. āFor all of it,ā you say.Ā
Youād always thought that love didnāt need to be so complicated. Sometimes it was as simple as I see you, and I understand you. Sometimes it was dirtying your hands to make their life a little easier. Sometimes it simply took the form of an illusion, and all you needed was for someone to point out the tangled lines, the true image irreversibly seen.Ā
āWe love you. If that means anything to you, then take advantage of this second chance and let yourself be betterā.Ā
Afraid of testing their patience, you step away from the bed, heading towards the door where your guide awaits. While only four strides, it feels like a lifetime, and you find yourself dragging your feet to stall for time. The thought of leaving him here made your stomach sink, an invisible magnetism tied to your spine and begging you to turn around.Ā
You startle as the guard suddenly steps forward, recounting Touyaās patient number with warning, but the doctor holds her hand out to settle him. Youāre tugged back against a firm chest, familiar if not for the deathly temperature, arms circling firmly around your waist.Ā
Their presence falls away as he kisses you, and the sensation is new. No awkward angle, no need to be aware of his sutures, no copper tang left on your tongue as you pull back. Once, twice, and thrice ā Touya kisses you without regard for time he was wasting, for the people who were waiting to take you home, and you give him every extra second you have.Ā
āTell Kaiyo Iāll be out by the time he starts his training at JAXA,ā he murmurs. You laugh wetly, finally forced to take your leave.Ā
āBetter make that ten years sooner, you hear me?āĀ
The door begins to shut behind you and heās crying again, eyes dry as he calls out to you.
āNo promises!ā
boss!gojo who inherits his deadbeat father's fortune and company after his father's sudden death (which he definitely had a hand in).
boss!gojo who at the ripe age of 20 was already pressured by the workload, not because of the reports or contracts, but because of the old geezers he had to tolerate.
boss!gojo who now lived alone in his 12,000 square meter glass mansion, hired 3 dozen housekeepers after letting go of the ones his father had kept.
boss!gojo who took an immediate interest in the youngest maid of the batch, her being over 5 years older than him.
boss!gojo who likes older women.
boss!gojo who starts making small talk during your working hours. he would ask you to sit with him during lunch making the other maids giggle at the boy.
boss!gojo who is excited when you agree after being asked for the 46th time.
boss!gojo who asks his chef to bring you the same meal as him, which you insist wasn't necessary. he doesn't take no for an answer.
boss!gojo who admires your unpolished table etiquette, but somehow your manners make the food on the table look 100x more appetizing, making him dig in as well.
boss!gojo who wants to spread you out and eat you instead.
boss!gojo who overhears the other maids teasing you with the name 'mrs. gojo' making you scold them with a blushed face. his ears turn red, pants gaining a sudden tightness.
boss!gojo who at late night can't stop fantasizing with his cock in his hand about you becoming 'mrs. gojo'.
boss!gojo who calls you into his office, giving you special tasks around the house. he orders you to clean his office only when he is around.
boss!gojo who doesn't hesitate to give you harder quests, such as cleaning the top shelves of his bookshelf, just to catch a look up your skirt like a perverted teenager (which he was).
boss!gojo who gets a custom uniform made for you to adorn during the time in his private office, one that is deeper on the neckline and shorter on the thighs. he can't stop ogling your breasts.
boss!gojo understands that by now you knew his intentions, not wasting any time to make a move.
boss!gojo who has you bent over his desk, panties clinging to your thighs, holding a tiny vibrator to your clit that has you dripping onto his office floor.
boss!gojo who forces you to clean his office with the bullet vibrator deep inside you, playing with the remote every time you bent over to flaunt your drenched pussy.
boss!gojo who eats you out in pathetic desperation, boxers painted in his precum. at first, he makes precise licks at your labia but he's smothering his face in your pussy seconds later.
boss!gojo who changes dynamics as soon as he's inside you.
boss!gojo who doesn't think twice about going in raw, wishing to feel every crevice of your pussy. he has you in missionary, suckling on your tits to hold his moans.
boss!gojo who is reduced to putty when you switch positions to ride him instead.
boss!gojo who can't help but cry when an accidental 'mommy' slips out of him.
"Ahh fuck you're so fucking sexy, [name]~" his head crashes onto the headboard, the squeaking of the bed loud in the room. Your thighs ached from bouncing on his ridiculously fat cock, his lap covered in your fluids. Wtih your tits jiggling in his face, he lets out a loud moan when you throw in a sudden praise. "So good, 'Toru~ Wanna keep fucking you like this, honey~!" You huff out with lust-filled eyes, your voice dripping with honey. "Please! Please, d-don't stop mommy!" You don't pause, but the kiss on his forehead makes his eyes well up, getting close to his orgasm. He was embarrassed to call you that, but your acceptance of it meant you'd be here for a good while.
boss!gojo who fucks you in every corner of his mansion.
boss!gojo who always finished inside you, birth control or not. he has enough money to provide for every baby he gives you
boss!gojo who revokes your status as a maid and promotes you to fiance in the next four months.
a/n: wasn't gonna post this self-indulgent drabble but after chapter 261...i changed my mind for some reason. wasn't proofread!
Your y/n moment with ceo sukuna ā”
a gift for the july babies @tonitart & hamtarochyy (twt)
pairing: none (platonic!Sully family & Loāakās twin sister!reader)
summary: all you wanted was to not be the family disappointment
wc: 4942
warnings: anon requested, mentions of missing/disappearance, dad jake sully
Keep reading
So anyway then I baby trapped him
I just wanna love, live and die my way.
summary: your experiences with the jjk men on various dating apps (hc and small blurb set) fem!reader warnings: 18+ mdni, unprotected sex (all), breeding kink (nanami), public sex (gojo and geto), car sex (geto), praise kink (geto), nipple play (gojo), fem!receiving oral (sukuna), overstimulation (sukuna)
: ĢĢā GOJO SATORU
you match with gojo on HINGE!
listen, iāthis man is hinge's exact target audience. his first photo is the most majestic, stunning photo you've ever seen (it was 100% taken by a professional photographer) and the rest of his photos are the most obscure, borderline concerning memes (what the fuck is onika burgers...?) combined with some... brow-raising prompt answers. "dating me is like: dating the most perfect angel princess supermodel superstar š¬ā¤ļøāš„š¤Æš„°ššāØ ever" and "i go crazy for: some CRAZY sloppy top like gawk gawk 1000% vacuum seal special hmu"
he is so unserious. he leaves an interesting message on a photo of yours that he likes: "may god bless the dinosaur that died to make the fossil fuel that was treated to become petrol in the car that took your mom to the hospital to give birth to you" like ofc you match
he either messages you instantly or takes 5 business days, there is no in-between. you have three conversations going on simultaneously about different topics and at this point, you just wanna meet this man (get dicked down) and finally, he asks you out to go check that new cafe with gourmet pastries downtown!
gojo's got you crowded up against a brick wall outside of the cafe in broad daylight, sucking wet, sloppy marks into your neck and only continuing to migrate lower until he's pulling down a side of your shirt to reveal the soft material of your lacy bra. you're whining, looking around the alleyway in fear that one of the workers is going to step outside, "gojo... quit it, someone could come out any minute," but your actions betray your words, tugging on his hair to continue.
instead of acknowledging you, he takes a long sip out of his abomination of a drink, some iced caramel blended drink with fixings that made the barista earlier grumble under their breath, and comes back to one of your nipples with cold, cold lips that send a shock down your spine. "so fucking sweet. could taste you all day long."
you barely notice the way his other hand has sneaked down to the front of your jeans, hastily undoing the button and quickly descending to the where you need him most.
"you just gotta stay quiet. you can do that for me, yeah?"
: ĢĢā GETO SUGURU
you match with geto on TINDER!
when you swipe right on geto, you get one of those notifications that encourages you to super-like just because of how popular he is. he has some great photos, a few smiling ones with friends, one that shows off his impressive car, absolutely beaming with pride, but it's his last photo that makes you take the leap and super-like his profile. it's a mirror selfie of him after what looks like a hard and successful day at the gym, muscles flexed, hair tied back showing off his piercing, and looking so fucking delicious with a sheen of perspiration that makes him look otherworldly.
he's so good at keeping the conversation going, he compliments your top ten artists, and he even asks about the pet that you have in one of your selfies! it's all in great fun and you guys even exchange numbers and plan a date (dinner and a movie) within the next three days.
you guys don't even make it to the movie. your hand slides up against the fogged up glass window of his car, breaths coming out in irregular intervals as geto slams his dick up to make a home in your pussy. your hands are going every which way, lost and going insane with the sensation of him mercilessly bouncing you up and down, completely undressed while he still sits fully clothed in the driver's seat.
"f-fuck, good girl," geto grits his teeth, head thrown back like he's the one being tortured. "so fucking tight and wet andāholy shit, holy shitā"
at the uncontrolled praise, you moan wantonly, pussy clenching against his hard length as you reach even closer to your peak. "geto, 'm gonna cum, shit, please!"
when he looks back into your eyes, pupils blown wide and you feel your heart stutter at his next words. "who said you could cum yet?"
: ĢĢā NANAMI KENTO
you match with nanami on BUMBLE!
it's a week before your sibling's wedding and you have no date! during the bachelorette party, wasted out of your mind, you come to the sad realization that you might just have to suffer through the ceremony and reception alone while surrounded by other people who are happily partnered up. what could possibly be worse?
nanami kento is the most put-together and successful man you see in the first half hour of swiping through the app. like holy fuck, why are you here? this man has carefully cultivated his profile to include a very tasteful bio, a set of photos that showcase a rare, smiling photo of him (courtesy of gojo), and has all his interests, career, what he's looking for, etc. you pause when you see that he has "wants children" under his family goals. you swipe right, because this man is exactly who you need to bring to a wedding.
throughout the wedding day, he's polite, respectful, and so fucking handsome in his custom-tailored suit. he somehow makes it onto 80% of the wedding photos and he's not even part of the family! and at the end of the night, when most of the wedding guests have gone home and it's just you and him slow dancing on the dance floor, you make a mental note to thank those other bridesmaids later.
at your hotel room, he's the opposite of polite and respectful but you think he looks so fucking handsome like this, fucking you from behind and forcing you to look at the mess you've made in the mirror. his hands, god his fucking hands, are driving you crazy, one hand wrapped around the length of your hair and the other holding your ass in place to reach you even deeper. "n-nanamiāslow... slow down!"
the pace and the position he's got you in is brutal, but you love it. there's stars in your eyes and he's pulling your hair back so your head's turned to look him in his eyes.
"can't... can't slow down, sweet girl," nanami's breathless, lost in the way your pussy feels scorching hot and squeezing him just right, and he knows it's unbecoming, knows that the way he wants to fill you up and make you bear his kids after the first date is impulsive. it's not like him. but they way you look, desperately attempting to grasp onto something, anything just to be able to take his dick, well... how could a man hold back? "need to fill you up, need to cum inside."
"we gotta work fast if we wanna get you down that aisle next, right?"
: ĢĢā BONUS: SUKUNA RYOMEN
you match with sukuna on CHRISTIANMINGLE.COM!
you don't even know why the fuck you showed up. your friend created a profile for you behind your back after too many complaints of being single, the girlies are TIRED. why they chose christianmingle.com of all apps? you'll never know. ring before spring!
sukuna's profile picture is a faceless photo of his unclothed abdomen, showing off a really impressive six-pack and stark black tattoos. he slides into your DMs with the most obscene and graphic pickup line you've ever seen, and somehow it works. how he hasn't gotten banned yet, you don't understand.
he's fifteen minutes late. when you look at your watch for the seventh time that night, you blearily accept the fact that you'll probably die alone, until your date finally shows up. he smells like cigarette smoke, gasoline, and fireball shots. despite every possible red flag being waved in your face, you stay.
in person, he's even more shameless than you thought was humanly possible. you've caught him blatantly staring at your tits more times than you can count, while you're ordering, you see him swiping on tinder when he thinks you're not looking, and he flirts with the server.
he ends up back at your place at the end of the night.
and holy fuck, he's eating your pussy like a man starved. he's moaning into your cunt, three calloused fingers fucking you hard while he presses a rough thumb to your clit, and you cum for the third time that night. he's not even doing it for you at this point, he's doing it for himself.
"you ready?" ready? you hear the sound of his belt coming undone and the whoosh of pants joining yours on the floor. when you look over, you can't help the gasp that escapes your lips. oh my god. "not god, babe. it's just me."
Ā© ROSESAINTS ! ā do not repost, translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.
roomate with benefits!geto who returns from work, stressed, to the apartment you share with him. he's ready for a long shower, only to find you in the sole bathroom the place had taking a bath.
your nude body relaxing in the pink bubbly water, a cigarette between your fingers with the smoke lazily dancing above the tip. soft melodies coming from your speaker fill the cramped space with a soothing hum.
you look up at him and smile softly. he returns the gesture, a slight tint of fatigue in his expression. his tired eyes lazily scan your body, taking in your figure as he leans against the doorframe.
"how was work?" you ask.
"awful," he sighs.
you don't answer. instead, you take a drag of your cigarette and gesture with your finger for him to get closer. he huffs a soft laugh, pulling the hairband from his long hair before he starts unbuttoning his shirt with one hand, his eyes never leaving yours.
he undresses until he's down to his briefs, then sits on the edge of the bathtub and takes the cigarette from your fingers. he takes a long drag, the smoke curling out from his nose as he exhales with a loud sigh.
"wanna get in?" you offer.
-
the splashes of the bath water almost compete with envy with the wet sounds of your pussy being pounded. geto was laying down on the bath, his neck on the pink headrest you bought online, his long legs spreading alongside the small bathtub. his fingers were gripping the sides of your hips so hard that they may leave a couple bruises. you were riding him - well, you were on top of him while he fucked you.
from your point of view, you could appreciate his expressions. how his brows furrowed, how his teeth sank on his bottom lip, how his eyes rolled back into his skull when you swayed your hips in circular motions. he was a sight for sore eyes with his pale skin flushed from the pleasure and his black hair damp from the water.
his length was buried deep inside your walls, his balls slamming against your ass when he thrusted up. he may've been tired, but that never meant a mediocre fuck. no, he always went all out with you. always so passionate.
"fuck- you're being so good to me, always so good. being my little stress ball, my little toy to relieve my stress, hm? you like it when i use you like this?"
pretty face, community dick.
toxic! toji x reader hc
toxic! toji who dances with other women infront of you, his large hand gripping onto their asses with the tightens grip alive.
the look on your face is a bored expression, he thinks youāre gonna break. in reality, you donāt care. later on he finds you making out with a random guy on one of the couches while heās grabbing a drink.
everything comes to his senses, you do not care about him anymore. it was funny to think about it like that, but toxic! toji is never gonna let you forget about him.
toxic! toji who beats the shit out of the guy after you leave the club, away from his sight.
toxic! toji who would get a new girlfriend every few months, only to piss you off in public while youāre alone. itās obvious to you when toji and his new girlfriend are holding hands in public.
toxic! toji who texts you randomly, telling you how much he misses you. youāre not stupid, itās the am and you know heās wasted.
Toji sent 2:37 am
baby, i miss you so much
You sent 2:50 am
stfu go to bed, you donāt miss me you asshat u jus need your dick wet.
Toji sent 2:51 am
thatās not true, i miss you and i fucked up. we both know that new lil boyfriend you have aināt as good as me š
that dick probably wack too
hmu when youāre done w him, i love you sweets.
toxic! toji who still sends you a shit ton of money just because he feels like it. or just because he genuinely misses you
Toji sent you $900
You sent 1:49 pm
you gmfu what the fuck r u doing
Toji sent 1:52 pm
yk ima still spoil you sweetheart
toxic! toji who really does love you, but has trouble expressing it. for example, instead of straight up apologizing and telling you how he feels he just straights up shit talks you.
toxic! toji who gets pissed off when you send him a video of you fucking his close friend sukuna.
toxic! toji who blames you for ruining your relationship with him, when heās the one who was being a man whore. flirting with other women, and letting them touch him in ways only you would.
toxic! toji who loves you more than anything in the world, but doesnt know how to get you back into his arms.
toxic! toji whoās label is pretty face, with a community dick.