Favorite Color: Black

I’m the type of guy to gaslight myself into being straight . I know this because unfortunately I’ve done it 7301965 times and it hasn’t worked any of them..

I miss my Coke Zero so much 😩.. why don’t I have any 😿‼️what the fucj !!!

Told myself I wouldn’t post before the thing I wrote for xmas, but here we are…

I think I’m in love with someone I shouldn’t know how to be. And it’s driving me fucking crazy. It’s only you. And when you’re venting at 7:32, telling me how much you just wanna die, I think I lose a part of myself. I’m listening to that band we both like, unromanticizing all the shit I used to dream about. This is your second favorite song by them. It’s my favorite cause it makes me think about you. I like your company. That’s all I can say without giving myself away. Cause if I was honest, I’d say step off the ledge. Why? Cause I fucking love you man. Maybe you don’t care (about me and/or you). Maybe you don’t even like me. But if you kill yourself, I don’t think I’ll ever really breathe in again. You’re the best friend I’ve (n)ever had. 

I am a boy written by pete wentz

i’m in a winter mood, (i’m) dreamin’ of spring now

i miss sitting in the back of a pickup truck with my best friend. playing in the mud and making swords out of sticks. boys will be boys (until one of them’s a queer). We were like family until i came out was outed. if you read this i think you’d know who you are. cause you said i was your only friend and then spat in my face the next day. that awful day. all i wanted was for things to stay the same. all i want is my childhood back. please. my lips are bloody and my knuckles are bruised. i’m the same person i was back then, so why the hell don’t i mean the same thing i used to mean to you?

Courtney Love is actually super hot, you’re all just wrong btw

hope this helps!! 🩷🩷🩷

I found peace on his words, does that make sense?

Light a candle, don't say a prayer for me/Feel alone cause i’m gone

I’m sitting in first period– Algebra. (That’s) when I get the news. Junkie face down in an alleyway. I’ll never see her again. How could you do this to us?

She leaves and leaves. Time and time again. She then wants to come back. But this time there is no seat at the table. For we've all bandaged our hearts, Preemptively prepared for the bleeding. We gave all the time we had. And she took it. Took it and sold it for a cheap blow.

I'm sitting at home. Wondering about all my greatest fears when you tell me again. That fated phone call of the cops, to my uncle, To my grandparents, to my mom, who tells me. She's gone. (Again.) I've had to prepare for it a hundred times, Re-rehearsing my eulogy lines. I don't want her to die. But I know it's coming. The day you'll drop like a fly. And I don't want to be there when you make yourself die.

You've died a thousand deaths. All in my head I'm imagining the worst and sometimes I can't sleep at night. I toss and turn in my sweat stained bed. I don't want to wake up to the news that someone I love is gone. (It's twisted and impersonal- And it all feels wrong) I'm sitting in a pew. I've never liked church. But I'm praying for you. Just. Don't. Die. Please come back home. Don't spend the numbered days away from us. You don't deserve to die alone.

(Okay so, this is all fucked up. And I think I'm almost angry. Like I love her, and I don't wanna judge her, but this just feels like the end, and I'm not ready to lose someone else again. I just wanna see my cousin again. She doesn't deserve this shit. Nobody does. I'm just scared, and I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll start praying again.)

The body of Christ as a symbol of self-punishment. (or, stigmata)

I’m a seven year old boy’s little green toy soldier, crushed and broken under the weight of his father’s work boots. I’ve fought in a thousand wars. I flinch at the sound of rough hands. God has forsaken me, even in my dying breath. Maybe my prayers never work, not because he can’t hear me, but because he chooses not to. Because he hates what I am. He despises me, yet I amuse him. I am The Divine’s favorite plaything. I’m made of duct tape and scars. It’s a vicious cycle of patching myself up, and falling apart. Nobody hears me beg. Nobody listens to my pleas. I cry out once for every punishing lash of the belt.

stuff about me

last song-  cute without the e by taking back sunday 

favorite color- I like purple and black 

last book- loki agent of Asgard comics. not really a book but it’s the last thing I read

last movie- probably smth science fiction related? Or marvel I don’t remember 

last tv show- Good Omens <3 <3 <3 I’m absolutely obsessed with this show now

sweet/spicy/savory- why not all three?

relationship status- I’m in one. It’s not going well and that’s not rlly either of our faults but it still sucks right now

last thing i googled- will and grace cast

current obsession- ^ Good omens/aziracrow. I love them. I need season three like yesterday

looking forward to- getting over this cold so I can go back outside, see my friends, and just do stuff ig

thanks fr tagging me @youreyesaremyfavoritecolor this was fun :D