The Sun Is A Blue Moon (Part 2)

The Sun is a Blue Moon (Part 2)

A/N: here’s part two of the sun is a blue moon! I wrote this once and hated it about 3k in so I scrapped it and started over and I’m waaaay happier with how it came out than what I originally had planned. Oh and it ended up all being from Peters third person view somehow??? yeah idk. I hope y’all like it <3

Summary: “Only the gentle are ever really strong.” - James Dean

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: violence, blood, injuries, fighting, battle, anxiety, panic, fearing the death of a loved one, gried, sadness, death

Playlist: End of the World by Nightriots

Till Forever Falls Apart by Ashe, FINNEAS

As the World Caves in by Sarah Cothran

read part one here

Peter looked back to his notes, checking to make sure his measurements were correct before adding the white cap into the potion, the bubbling encouraging him further. He observed the reaction before picking up his pen and jotting down what he saw on the marked up page, his pinkie smudging the still drying inscriptions on the line above. He adjusted his glasses before continuing on with his work, his mind wandering to y/n who was currently in care of magical creatures while he was in his free period, working on his own potions. His eyes flashed down to the small daffodil colored yarn bracelet that was woven in with white yarn that she had made for him. Everyone in their group had gotten one that she made them in their house color except him. He was special and got her house color. Her glowing face filled his mind and he couldn’t help but smile a little.

Peter Parker was in love.

Keep reading

The Sun is a Blue Moon

A/N: So this started out as a headcanon thread that was hella long until I eventually decided to just write the thing. This may be one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. Let me know what you guys think. Oh, and yes there will be a part 2 ;)

Summary: A Hogwarts AU where Peter Parker falls in love with a Hufflepuff and it’s just tooth rotting fluff the whole time really.

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: social anxiety

“Just breathe.” y/n exhaled, staring at herself in the mirror.

It was her first day of sixth year at Hogwarts and she was a tangled knot of anxiety and nerves. Part of her still couldn’t believe she was actually there once again. It seemed like just yesterday someone was knocking at her door and telling her parents that she was a witch and was accepted to Hogwart, a school for witchcraft and wizardry. It had been a bumpy ride at the beginning, her parents not fully believing it for quite some time but eventually couldn’t deny the obvious. It was true and they all knew it. Y/N had always been different her entire life, with strange things happening around her that always made people stare at her. It was what made her such an anxious child and what made her social anxiety bloom into what it was.

Smoothing down her robe and adjusting her yellow tie, she left the restroom and headed for her first class, keeping close to the walls and head down and continuing on with the same routine she’d had for the last several years. Sometimes she wished she could blend in with the walls and go unseen.

Divination was her first class and she found a seat further toward the back with no one in the companion seat and she headed right for it, hoping that that companion seat would stay empty. It had happened a couple times before and she hoped that she would get lucky in her second to last year and would have at least one class where she didn’t have to worry about talking to anyone.

It wasn’t that y/n couldn’t speak, she could, really, but she just didn’t want to. She had a hard time with attention. Public speaking? All eyes on her? Saying something that would make people think she was a freak? Taking too long in line at the grocery store? Wearing something that would make her stand out? All a huge hell no with a capital H. Some nights she would hear girls laughing in the Hufflepuff commons and wish she could be part of that but she just didn’t know how. She was sure comradely was something she’d never attain.

As she was getting settled in her seat, the chair beside her that she had been vying for to stay vacant was pulled out with a scrape against the floor and she looked to see a girl with a red tie and corkscrew black hair that fell just past her shoulders smiling at her with perfect teeth. She wore large round glasses and her fingers were covered in rings with different gemstones in them. She looked like she listened to Stevie Nicks and drank black coffee and stared up at the stars for guidance.

“Hi! I’m Winifred but everyone calls me Win!” She chipped as she sat down, setting her books onto the table with a small thud. The scrape of her chair made y/n cringe internally at how loud it was and the books had really made her worry. She glanced around the room to make sure no one was staring and relaxed a little when she found no one was.

“I’m y/n.” she stated with a small nod, looking back down to her book that she was opening to the page listed on the chalkboard.

“Oh my god that’s, like, the cutest necklace I’ve ever seen! Did you get it in Hogsmeade?” Win asked, eyes bright.

Swallowing, y/n wet her lips as her hand wrapped around the golden heart shaped locket she wore everyday for the last six years. “No. It was a gift from my dad. I don’t know where he got it.”

“It’s way cute.”

“Thank you.”

The entire class, Win talked and talked, going on and on about anything. She had talked about how her father was in the ministry of magic but her mom was her best friend. She talked about how hard sixth year was going to be but how excited she was to finally be a sixth year. Y/N was silent through most of it, only giving small nods and little hums. She appreciated that Win was more than happy to provide the conversation. Her favorite kinds of people were the ones who monopolized the conversation and Win was definitely one of those people.

“You should eat lunch with me and my friends!” She gasped as they were packing up for the next class of the day. “We’re all in different houses but we don’t have a Hufflepuff yet! Do you know Gwen Stacy?”

“Oh uh I know of her but I don’t really know her.” Y/N murmured, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Well, she’s awesome and everyone will love you! We sit at the end of the Ravenclaw table. See you then y/n!”

Y/N was left blinking as Win floated out the door. She had no idea how she got roped into that and she was terrified but bubbling with excitement at the same time. She had no idea how long they would let a girl who would sometimes go days without uttering a single word sit with them in their group but she would enjoy it, if just for the one day. She usually ate lunch in the library so this would be different.

Half convinced that it was all a joke by the time lunch came around, she was ready to see no such group at the end of the Ravenclaw table, but there were several students with different colored ties right where Win had said there would be. It was real and she couldn’t back out now.

Tucking her hair behind her ear, y/n headed for the end of the table and felt a twinge when she saw that there was an empty spot next to Win.

“Y/N! Hey, girl! Come here!” Win called, eyes excited and a half eaten cookie in her hand.

It felt easy to sit next to Win, but she struggled to keep a small smile as everyone in the group stared at her as she sat down. There was one boy in particular who she couldn’t even glance at because she knew she would be sporting red ears if she did.

He sat directly opposite her and was a Ravenclaw, the blue tie half open and his robe falling off one shoulder. His mahogany toned hair was messy and floppy, like his hands were constantly in it but she liked the way it looked. She wanted to study his face and find the freckles she hadn’t seen in her glance at him and really find the accurate shade of his eyes- she had a thing for eye colors and finding their perfect shade. He was really beautiful and she wondered how she had gone six years without ever having seen him before. There was no way she would have forgotten him if she had.

Win introduced y/n and explained that they had divination together. While Win chattered on, y/n’s hand wrapped around her locket, thumbnail toying with the clasp that kept it closed.

“Y/N, this is Gwen Stacy, Flash, Harry Osborn, MJ Watson, and Peter Parker.”

She waved, avoiding Peter’s stare before finally looking at him. True to her thoughts and her ears got hot and her stomach filled with butterflies. She worried if she opened her mouth they would fly out and tell Peter that she liked him so she merely waved and looked back to Win.

True to who she was, y/n stayed quiet most of lunch, nodding at times appropriate and trying to keep a smile on her face. She wanted to try and make friends and this was the best opportunity she had ever had so she was going to try and not completely fuck it up. She was almost seventeen years old and needed to try and overcome some of her shyness and social anxiety.

But she did take the risk a few times and looked over at Peter, taking in his square round glasses and the ink stains on his fingertips. How the sleeves of his wrinkled white button up were cuffed up. She had to put in effort to not pass out when he had taken off his robe and revealed his veiny forearms and rolled up sleeves. She could see the faintest bit of stubble on his chin that he must have missed when shaving. She took in the way he looked at everyone in the group, with a lax smile and warm eyes. She had decided they were the same color of the hazelnuts that grew on the tree in her parents front lawn.

It was on the third day of sixth year that y/n realized that Peter was in her astronomy class. He sat on the other side of the room with MJ. She didn’t think he noticed and she didn’t want to walk up to him randomly so she decided to wait and see if he noticed and if he cared at all. Even though she spent most of the class staring at his side profile whenever she knew he wouldn’t catch her.

Two weeks later and y/n was walking into astronomy and Peter Parker was sitting in the seat next to hers where Romilda Vane had been sitting the last week. She stared at his back, her brain short circuiting. Maybe had wanted to talk before class started, she usually got in early since astronomy was after sunset and after dinner. She had no idea he even knew they had the same class together. They had just been sitting together at the same table not even an hour ago. He had smiled and waved at her like he did everyday. Why was he in the seat beside hers?

She walked up to her seat and as soon as she pulled her chair out, Peter looked up at her with that beaming smile that made her feel like a little bit of the sun had found its way into Peter Parker.

“Hi.” He greeted.

She bit her lip, trying desperately to find her voice that was so often lost at sea.

Peter seemed to sense your shyness. “Romilda asked to switch so she could be closer to the professor so she could hear better.” He explained.

She nodded, sitting down and looking down with a wide grin. She knew that Romilda could hear just fine because this was the second time they were partnered in a class and she also preferred to sit toward the back of the room.

Y/N felt like she was going to start floating at any minute because Peter, the boy she would daydream about and draw hearts around his name in her notebooks, had wanted to sit next to her and was going to be her astronomy partner for the rest of the year. Three nights a week they would spend an entire class together, and not just any class but her favorite class. She loved the night sky and the stars and she got to share that with Peter for an entire school year.

Though she never spoke, Win’s group kept welcoming y/n to eat with them and she had even been invited to sit with them at the first quidditch game of the year. She bundled up in her Hufflepuff scarf and thickest coat but she had forgotten her gloves and her fingers were freezing shortly into the game and she blew into her hands, trying to keep them somewhat warm.

Peter was sitting directly beside her and nudged her, making her look at him in question. Wordlessly, he offered her a pair of gloves, an eyebrow raised. “I won’t need them.”

Opening her mouth to speak, she thought better and closed it before taking the knitted gloves hesitantly at first, but then mouthing a thank you with a soft smile and slipped them on. Peter smiled back at her and she tried not to notice that his fingertips were red with the cold.

The first time y/n finally spoke to Peter was in astronomy several days after they started sitting together. They were supposed to map out a specific constellation and since Peter was so smart and y/n really good at astronomy, they finished early and were sitting together by a large oak tree, y/n with her arms around her drawn up knees and Peter leaning against the trunk of the tree.

He was looking up at the sky and she kept looking at him, bathed in moonlight, fingers weaving in and out of the grass. She was starting to trust him like she’d only trusted a few people in her life. He made her feel seen and for some reason, she didn’t want to run away from it. Her entire life she had been running out of the spotlight and trying to hide in the shadows but Peter saw her and she didn’t want to hide in the shadows. At first, he made her more anxious than anyone else in the group because she liked him but now she didn’t feel anxious around him, instead she just felt safe. He didn’t ask her why she didn’t really talk or what was wrong with her and he didn’t push her to talk, either. He just took her as she was.

“What’s your favorite constellation?” She asked, eyes on the grass that she was still running her fingers through.

Peter whipped his head down to her, lips parting and shock clouding his face. It was the first time he was hearing her speak ever. The words fell like bubbles from her rosy lips, each word careful and delicate, her voice a little rougher than he had imagined- but he still loved it just as much. He had been dying to find a way to get her to speak to him but didn’t want to push her because he knew she was just shy and probably had some kind of anxiety so he was fine with waiting until she was ready to speak. Even if she didn’t talk to him, he just wanted to be around her. Hufflepuffs always had good vibes but y/n had a warmth about her.

It was no secret within the rest of the group that he had a big giant crush on y/n, something Flash loved to tease him about. In fact, Peter had almost gotten into a physical fight with Flash when he first started teasing him about liking y/n because he thought he was making fun of him for liking her. Sure, she was quiet and didn’t really talk but he didn’t see anything wrong with that. Some people were so worried about being able to say what they wanted to say that they didn’t hear what others had to say. Y/N heard everything people needed to say, her twinkling eyes focused solely on whoever was speaking and her focus on what they were saying. She cared about what people had to say and truly listened. He had seen her kindness when he had been walking back to the Ravenclaw tower and watched her pick up a small caterpillar and find a nice home for it in the bushes, being gentle with it and patient. Maybe she didn’t speak very much but her actions spoke loud enough for him to get to know her. He always thought Hufflepuff’s were the purest of heart of all the houses.

Adjusting his glasses, he peered his head down to try and catch her eye so she would look at him. It worked and their eyes met. “It’s Perseus.”

Y/N rested her chin on her knees and nodded, one hand coming to tinker with the locket that rested below the hollow of her throat. “It’s a good one. I think mine’s Andromeda.”

“It’s a good one.” He retorted, making her chuckle. The silence took over and Peter couldn’t help but smile at her before looking at the sky again.

“Have you seen Snape’s new haircut?”

He looked back down at her, thrilled she said something else.

“Yeah.” He chortled. “Went a bit too short this time.”

“He’s giving Lord Farquad.”

The laugh that boomed out of Peter made y/n jump at first but then she remembered no one was around and she relaxed again, smiling wide because she had made Peter Parker laugh. It was deep and boisterous and she would probably never forget it.

“I wish everyone else knew how funny you are.” Peter mused, the remnants of his laughter still in his voice. “But I’m honored that I get to know.”

“Technically, you don't. I only said one funny thing. Maybe that’s all I’ve got.”

“Nah I know that you’re funny. Just a feeling.”

“Whatever you say, Parker.” She shrugged.

“Can I ask what made you finally talk to me?”

Y/N thought for a moment before wetting her lips. “I guess I just really, like, trust you now. I don’t know. I’ve never felt safe around anyone before you. I feel like I could say anything to you and you wouldn’t judge me for it or think I’m weird, no matter what it is.”

“I like you too much to think you’re weird.” He blurted, before his eyes went wide and he cleared his throat, hoping she wouldn’t think too much into it.

But Peter had never been lucky and bit back a groan at seeing her eyes grow brighter and mouth fall open. “You like me?”

He couldn’t deny it, especially not to her. Not with the way she was looking at him with hopeful eyes and red cheeks and those stupid yellow finger-less gloves she wore that he always made him want to groan because it made her hands look ridiculously cute and small. Especially not under the stars when there was no one around and it was just them, the constellations ready to harbor their secrets.

“I have since I met you.” He bit his bottom lip, knowing his heart might be completely crushed in the next two seconds. “Do you…like me?”

Y/N wasn’t afraid to open her mouth now because she could let the butterflies out. “Yeah. You make me feel safe, Peter.”

The moment was broken when they heard the call for the students to return and they stared at each other for a moment before getting up and gathering their papers that were off to the side. As they started walking back, Peter slipped his hand into hers and she looked up at him with a smile and squeezed his hand that was laced with hers.

Peter walked her as far as he could go which was the same corridor as the kitchens. She stopped and turned to face him before pushing up on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. It made his heart thump in his chest and he barely processed when she pulled her hand from his and left, heading through the corridor and down the hall. His heart felt like it might burst in his chest.

Y/N was feeling the same, even stopping when she knew she was out of sight of Peter to lean against the wall and just stand there with a love drunk smile, Peter taking over her head and her heart. She knew they had a lot of talk about like were they boyfriend and girlfriend now? Was she allowed to hold his hand whenever she wanted? But for that moment she just wanted to hold onto the glow coming from her heart over the fact that Peter Parker liked her and he had held her hand and she had kissed his cheek. She had spoken to him and now he was her best friend and she was completely in love with him.

To her surprise, the next morning when she left the corridor to go to her first class, Peter was leaning against a wall, blue tie loose and hair messy like she loved. He caught her eye and smiled at her, letting her make her way to him.

“Can I walk you to your class?” He asked and she couldn’t help but beam and nodded, reaching up to fix his tie. “You have Mcgonagall first and you know she’ll get you for your tie.”

When it was straightened out, she slipped her hand into his. She knew a few people might look at them holding hands, but she had also laid in bed the night before preparing for a few looks if they held hands or showed any small displays of affection. It wouldn’t last forever and that was the only thing keeping her from having an anxiety attack: it was just a few people and it would only be for a little while. She could get through it.

Peter walked her all the way to Divination and parted from her with a chaste kiss to her forehead. “Meet me in the library at lunch?”

“Kay.” She agreed, knowing she would meet him in the boys bathroom if he asked.

Her classes passed at the pace of a snail. All she could think about was meeting Peter in the library. She knew they would probably talk about…them and she was beyond anxious but in a good way. She knew they would leave that library as boyfriend and girlfriend and if she was lucky, she would have had her first kiss because she was going to kiss him. She didn’t know how or when but she would kiss him if he didn’t kiss her first. It was nerve wracking to think about but she was going to try and be a little bit more bold when it came to Peter and their relationship, whatever that may be.

When lunch rolled around, y/n headed for the library, small chips in her white nail polish from picking at it due to nerves. She looked around, trying to find Peter and shoulders falling into repose when she saw him in an aisle, robes off and hands toying with an open book.

She made her way over and he didn’t hear her coming until she was a couple feet from him. The smile he gave her made her melt.

“Hi.” She greeted.

“Hi.”

He slipped his hand into hers and she pulled him with her toward the cushioned window sill, the glass cold on her back.

“Do you want some jellybeans?” He asked, pulling a baggy of jellybeans out of his pocket. It made her giggle in amusement that he just had a bag of jellybeans in his pocket at random but she nodded, taking the portion he poured into her hand and starting to pop them into her mouth, examining the handful.

“Wait? Are these the every flavor beans?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, putting several into his mouth. “But I made sure there weren’t any gross ones for you.”

“How?”

“Got a friend who came up with a way to find out what ones were the gross ones and he showed me how this morning.”

Her mouth was parted as she looked back down the handful of sweets, beyond touched that he had sorted through the jelly beans to pick out the gross ones just in case she wanted some of them.

Looking back to him, she splayed her hand on his cheek as he swallowed and leaned in. His breath hitched in his throat and she could smell the sugar on his breath before their lips even touched. She hesitated, giving him a second to stop her if he wanted as well as give her a second of doubt before that mental “fuck it” crossed her mind and she kissed him.

It was soft and chaste, the small sound of their lips filling the silence around them.

With buzzing lips, she pulled away just enough to break the kiss but brushed their noses together, Peter’s hand finding her neck, his thumb grazing her jaw.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He breathed, giving the corner of her mouth a peck.

“What’s in it for me?” She mused, sarcasm lacing her tone.

Peter picked up on it and smile softly, brushing hair hair behind her ear and pulling back a little bit. “Safe jelly beans for one. There’s also unlimited free kisses, I’ll help you with all of your homework, I have a very impressive collection of books that you’re free to at anytime.”

“Well how can I turn down the books?”

The laugh that slipped out of him made her kiss him again. She didn’t think she’d ever tire of kissing him.

Peter and y/n were inseparable after that. Where she went, Peter was right behind her, that lovesick smile on his face because let’s face it he was head over heels for her. He walked her to all her classes and they sat together at meal time, his arm around her waist or her leaning against his chest, his arm around her still. He wore her spare yellow and black striped scrunchie on his wrist pretty much always. When she forgot her robe, which was often, she wore his. He picked up the habit of speaking for her when she really, really didn’t want to. Like when she had a question in class but could barely think about raising her hand to ask and have everyone look at her, her voice being the only sound in the room. So when she had a question she would write it down and nudge Peter. He would read it and ask the question for her. Punch drunk love had nothing on Peter. He was well and truly gone for the Hufflepuff girl that most people didn’t notice. And while she barely said a word to anyone that wasn’t Win or Peter, she was herself when it was just her and Peter. She had a strong sense of humor and would make the most out of pocket, dry comments that always had him in stitches. She was affectionate with him, kissing the corner of his jaw often and calling him baby. He was special enough to be allowed to really see her and it was a gift he cherished.

She did her little things for him too like keeping wipes on her for his ink stained fingers and always reminding him of where his glasses were when he couldn’t find them; they had been on his head one time and she could only put them back in place with a small smile and kiss the tip of his nose. She had put his picture in the empty side of her locket, the other side holding a picture of her mother and father. The day she had shown Peter he knew he would love her forever.

She was there to clean his wounds when Peter punched a kid named Draco for calling another girl Mudblood, thus starting a fight. With a bloody rag in her hand that had just cleaned his bleeding cheekbone, she confessed to him that she was a full muggle-born with no magic in her family tree. He had kissed her and told her that he didn’t care if she was related to he who shall not be named; as long as she stayed who she was he would love her no matter what. She was the sunlight in his life to which she reminded him he was the moonlight in hers.

Y/N was slowly starting to come out of her shell through the school year. It started mostly with the group in small comments that she could add in. Everyone always simmered down to be able to hear her speak when she did, and Peter could always see how big of a deal it was for her. He knew all about her social anxiety and would squeeze her hand, letting her know she could do it and that he was right there if she needed him.

In their sixth year, Peter and y/n couldn’t have been happier. That was before all hell broke loose in Hogwarts.

Here Comes the Sun 2/3

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

Summary: Peter somehow is roped into a second date with Miss Sunshine. Why is it everything she does

Warnings: AFAB!reader, language, talk and description of depression and anxiety.

"So how was your date?" May asked.

Peter didn't know why he thought May would say anything else when he walked in. He was hoping he could avoid it. Avoid talking about his date with Miss Sunshine.

It was bad enough that she had started sending him good morning texts. Peter didn't understand how anyone had enough energy at six in the morning to send texts filled with emojis and a daily fun fact.

Though he was finding the facts interesting.

"It was alright," Peter shrugged as he continued to help unload the groceries.

"Just alright?" May asked. Peter nodded his head. He could feel her stare burning into his skin.

"Wow Peter, she must be pretty alright if you're going on another date tomorrow."

"How did you-"

May just smiled, "She told me. I asked her how the date went last night, figuring I'd get a more honest response."

"Somehow she's never been to the night market in Queens. I'm just doing my duty as a resident to fix that," Peter explained. It was the truth. He wasn't doing this because he had a crush on her or anything. That would be ridiculous.

Right?

May shook her head, the smile remaining on her face, "I knew you two would get along."

"We do not get along. I tolerate her and she thinks every other thing I say is funny," Peter defended.

"Sounds like you tolerate her enough to spend more time with her." Peter wanted to say something snarky, something defensive in response to May's comment.

But his mind was drawing a blank. So he just continued unloading the groceries and putting them away in the kitchen.

"She's very pretty, isn't she?" May didn't even wait for Peter to respond. His red face was enough. Peter ignored her, hoping that would be enough to silence her.

"You two would have the cutest kids. Especially if they get your hair and her eyes."

"May, are-are you s-serious?" Peter sputtered, "We've been on one date!"

“Well you’re gonna have to start thinking about it sooner or later Peter. I’m not gonna be young forever and I’d like to at least play with your kids."

"I'm not responding to this," Peter muttered as he put the milk away. He stuck his head in the fridge, hoping the cool air would bring his body temperature back down to a reasonable level.

He also hoped it would distract him from the image he had of a small child with soft brown hair and bright, familiar eyes that had popped into his head and was refusing to go away.

"It's really warm out," Peter commented as he closed the door to the fridge.

"Peter, it's sixty five degrees," May remarked.

✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓

How did he get here?

Peter kept asking himself that as he walked up to her door. He had agreed to meet her at her place this time.

What was he doing? He couldn't remember the last time he went on a second date. What were you even supposed to talk about? Why did it feel like there was more pressure now compared to the first?

No, it couldn't be pressure he was feeling. Because feeling pressured would imply that he was nervous, that he wanted the date to go well.

And that wasn't definitely not the case. It was probably something he ate. Maybe even May's cooking. She probably got distracted from talking about Miss Sunshine so much and didn't cook the meat all the way.

Maybe he would get sick and he could leave early.

Peter knocked on the door to her apartment. Within (what felt like) seconds, the door opened to reveal the dreaded woman of the hour.

"Y-you l-look nice," Peter said before he could stop himself. It was just a pair of overalls and a T-shirt. It made no sense for Peter to be thinking about how pretty she looked.

Granted, he could acknowledge she was pretty, right? Acknowledging you found someone good-looking doesn't mean you liked them.

Right?

She smiled, "Thanks. You shaved!"

Peter put his hand on his cheek upon hearing the observation, nodding his head. He figured it was time for a haircut and a shave. It was bothering him.

That was all. Nothing more.

"You look good. Both shaved and unshaved," She quickly added.

"Thanks," Peter mumbled, his hand finding its way to the back of his neck. He was hoping that by wearing a T- shirt, he wouldn't feel so warm.

It wasn't working.

✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓

"So how is it you've never been here before?" Peter asked. The two were walking around the night market, taking in all the sights. Her eyes were perpetually widened ever since they arrived.

She looked at him, shrugging, "I've only lived in the city for about three years now. And out of those three years, two of them were spent on just trying to get a fresh start and adjust."

"A fresh start?" Peter found himself asking. She nodded her head.

"I'll spare you the details-unless you're truly curious- but before moving here," She sighed, "I was working at a toxic, shitty place and on top of that was in a shitty relationship."

"Oh," Peter was stumped at how she talked about it so casually.

"Yeah, those two years I was telling you about? Where I didn't want to smile? Was too busy debating whether to crash my car on the way to work. It got to the point that I…quit my job, broke things off with my ex and asked my Aunt if I could live with her until I got back on my feet. And you know, went through a lot of therapy." She stopped walking to look at Peter, "I'm sorry, that was a lot of information to dump on you all at once."

"No, it's…it's okay," Peter gave a small smile, hoping to reassure her.

He was jealous. Jealous of how she was able to talk about it so casually, like it weighed nothing. Like it didn't keep her up at night. Like it didn't affect every single decision she made. Didn't weigh on everything she did, every move she made.

"Thanks," She smiled back, "Wanna go check out this Arepa stand?"

It was like she knew that he needed a distraction. She motioned towards the vendor. Peter nodded, catching up with her. Not wanting to lose her (and face May's wrath as a result), he grabbed her closest hand.

She stopped moving, looking down at Peter's hand and then back up to him. A small, knowing smile began to form on her face.

"I forgot to bring the kid leash." Peter explained, as if that was sufficient. It should have been, in Peter's mind.

"Okay," except the sly smile on her face was telling Peter she didn't believe him.

"Look, I wouldn't have to worry if someone had eaten all their vegetables and grown a few extra inches."

"You can't find me with that giraffe neck of your's?" She remarked back.

Peter stopped, putting a hand over his heart, feigning shock and offense.

"What if I told you I was super self conscious about that? I thought you were supposed to be sweet." He was unable to contain the grin on his face.

She leaned in (or in her case, up) to Peter, "Who says something sweet can't have a little bite to it?"

Peter felt hot all over his body. He looked down at the ground, not wanting to make eye contact.

"You're really cute when you're flustered," Sunshine giggled.

Nope, that was it. Peter had to put an end to this now.

"I….I'm not flustered!" Was the best he could come up with.

"Whatever you say, Parker. Now let's get an Arepa!" She began walking with him, still holding his hand.

"You do not make me flustered," Peter mumbled, kicking a nearby rock.

"I just make you feel hot and fuzzy inside, right?" Peter stopped dead in his tracks. How did she know?

As if Miss Sunshine could read his mind, she remarked, "I feel the same way. Even when you're being Mr. Grumpy Gills."

"Mr. Grumpy Gills? That's the best you can do, Miss Sunshine?"

"It's what we call the stuffed fish we have in my classroom when we talk about different feelings," She explained, hiding her smile at his nickname for her.

He could leave now. He could make up some excuse. Or Peter could just bolt out of there-wouldn't be the first time. He could leave and never speak to her again.

He could go home, back to his apartment. Back to dodging dates from May.

Back to being alone.

Normally, that thought wouldn't bother Peter. He had become used to it. It was familiar, normal for him. It was safe.

Not being alone for one night couldn't hurt. Right?

✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓

"These questions are all horrible," Peter laughed before taking a sip of his drink.

"That's because you refuse to answer them!" She giggled, motioning to her phone. The two were sitting down, eating their Arepas. She had suggested twenty questions, as a way to learn more about each other.

Of course, he found something wrong with the questions. Too deep. Too shallow. Too ridiculous. Too confusing.

"Alright, I think I have one," She put her phone away, "Do you have names picked out for your kids? Like what would you want to name them?"

"Why do you keep asking questions related to parenthood?" Peter asked.

"Because it's important to me, and I see you smile whenever the idea of kids are brought up."

Peter rolled his eyes, though the smile remained on his face. It disappeared once he realized that he had never thought about that. After Gwen….he assumed that opportunity was gone.

Gwen.

He braced himself for the gut wrenching feeling that would start in the pit of his stomach, then bubble up to his chest and throat-

"You okay?" Peter snapped out of his thoughts as soon as he felt her hand on his wrist.

"Huh? Yeah, yeah…just never uh…thought about it," He quickly explained.

Huh. That feeling was gone now. That was new.

She smiled gently, "I can go first?" Peter nodded his head.

"If I had a girl, I would name her Sophia. Call her Sophie as her nickname. Call her Sophie-Soph when she's a baby and a teenager," She grinned.

"She's gonna hate that as a teenager, you know."

"I'm aware. It's how I'll embarrass her when she's a moody teenager. You gotta start thinking of how you'll embarrass them!" She tapped a finger to her temple, earning a laugh out of Peter. It was then Peter noticed that whenever he laughed, her nose would scrunch up and the corners of her eyes would crinkle.

Weird.

After the laughter settled down, Peter spoke softly.

"Benjamin."

"Hmm?" She looked at him, as if she couldn't believe he actually gave her an answer.

"If I had a son, I'd name him Benjamin….after my Uncle," He said softly.

She nodded her head, her eyes sad despite the smile on her face. Peter figured if she knew May, she knew what had happened. Or had been told the non-Spiderman version.

"I've always liked that tradition," She said softly.

She was good about comforting and assuring people. Peter would give her that.

"Next question?" He asked, trying to force some lightness into his voice.

"Favorite ice cream flavor."

"These questions are all over the place."

"I'm following up a deeper question with a lighter question! Now what's your favorite flavor? I went first last time, so it's your turn."

"Raspberry sorbet."

She snorted, "that's not ice cream."

"It's close enough. Besides, you probably think mint chocolate chip is good."

Her silence as she looked down told Peter the answer. He was about to make another joke when he noticed the shift in her body language. The smile was gone and her eyes were narrow and hard. He knew that look.

A memory had been brought up. One that unpleasant and she'd rather not think about.

"Hey," Peter said, his voice now soft, "Sorry about that. I can see why folks like it, it just reminds me too much of toothpaste. But I shouldn't have been a dick about it."

She giggled, the light slowly returning to her eyes, "Sorry, my….my ex gave me shit for that all the time."

"He gave you shit over your favorite ice cream flavor?" Peter knew he wasn't perfect, he wasn't the living embodiment of joy. But he wasn't that bad.

"He gave me shit for a lot of dumb things. And then would comment on how it made him sad that I had such low self-esteem," The chuckle she let out was bitter and cold.

"Wow that is….some strong cognitive dissonance right there," Peter paused, "I'm glad he's your ex."

She looked at Peter, a soft smile on her face, "Me too. But he's part of the reason I spent my first two years in the city in therapy rather than going out and exploring. I had to figure out why I stuck with someone like that for so long."

"And now you're on a date with me?" Peter blurted out. He wasn't trying to be mean. He was just confused why the living embodiment of sunshine was on a second date with him.

"You're not a jerk, you're just guarded."

"I thought I was Mr. Grumpy Gills?" He said, wiggling his eyebrows, which got a genuine laugh out of her.

"Again, you're not a jerk about it. I mean, besides that one time at the very beginning of our first date. But then you stopped," She said, smiling at the memory.

"Well, I still feel like I was a jerk back there about your favorite ice cream flavor. So can I get you some to make it up?" He asked.

"I would love that!"

"You gonna stay in that spot?" Peter asked, grinning.

"Pinky promise," She held out her pinky, "What? It's a big deal in first grade."

"Yeah, I remember. That's probably the last time I did one." She continued to hold out her pinky, her bright eyes on Peter.

"Fine," Peter mumbled, gently hooking his pinky around her's, "But only because I forgot to bring a balloon to tie to you."

"I need you to know that I only tolerate your short jokes because they're clever," She told him, leaning in.

"Oh please, like I would use 'what it's like down there'. I hope you think better of me than that."

She leaned in, the scene of lavender filling Peter's nostrils, "I do."

"Oh."

Peter lingered, his pinky still wrapped around her's. It was then he noticed how soft her lips looked. Which, in Peter's mind, was a weird thing for him to notice. Why did it matter if her lips looked soft?

He needed to get up. All that sitting was doing something weird to his brain.

✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓

Peter turned around, ice cream in hand.

She had stayed in her spot, but she wasn't alone.

Some random guy was standing next to her, trying to strike up a conversation. Her body language had totally shifted.

It was cold, her eyes narrowed and looking away, avoiding eye contact.

Through the crowd, her eyes found Peter's. He knew that look. He had seen it too many times while out on patrol.

Help.

He was pretty sure he dropped the cup of ice cream. Not that he cared. His eyes were locked on her, refusing to look anywhere else. His stomach was all in knots.

It lurched when that piece of shit gripped her arm when she tried to walk towards Peter. He knew where this was going. He had stumbled upon that ending one too many times late at night, the visceral image seared into his brain.

That was not going to happen to her.

Peter ran, all but shoving people out of the way. He caught a glimpse of the frightened look on her face and that was enough to justify grabbing the creep by the neck of his sweater and throwing him to the ground.

"Touch her again and I won't be as nice next time," He spat, turning towards her.

Peter softened when he saw how her hands were shaking."Are you okay?" He asked her. He reached his arms towards her, ready to pull her in and never let go, when the hairs on his neck stood up.

Peter turned around, thankful his right hand was still balled into a fist. He pulled that arm back, releasing it as he turned around. His fist made perfect contact with the creep's jaw. In a way, Peter was thankful for the terror that was coursing through his veins. It was the only thing that was holding him back from using all his enhanced strength. Sending the guy right back to the ground was enough.

"When I said I wouldn't be as nice, I meant I'd break ya fucking neck!" He stepped forward, ready to lunge at him, when a small, soft hand grabbed his wrist.

"C'mon, let's get out of here, okay?" Her voice told him.

Peter didn't remember moving to a more secluded spot. His brain was too busy playing images of what could have happened to her-had he not gotten there in time- over and over again. Every scenario that was played ended in him being responsible for her spilled blood.

The air felt heavy, the weight making it nearly impossible to breathe. His heart was thumping against his chest.

Peter wanted to sit down. But also stand up. He felt like he was going to throw up. He leaned over, his hands now on his knees. It felt like he was drowning, desperate to reach out for anything-

"Peter?" He looked up towards the calm, steady voice.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" Peter repeated over and over. He couldn't trust his own eyes.

"Peter, I'm fine. You saved me back there."

"I saved you?" Peter had a hard time believing it.

"Yeah, you saved me. And then you almost broke that dude's jaw, which I honestly don't blame you, I was ready to-"

"I saved you?" She tilted her head in confusion at his question. Then her eyes softened. She didn't know the whole story, the truth of what actually happened at the clock tower. But even with the official cover version, it became clear why he was having a hard time believing it.

"Yes, I'm fine. See?" She took one of his shaking hands and put it over her chest. He could feel it beating, confirming his eyes weren't playing tricks on him.

"Your heart's beating fast," He whispered, his eyes locked on the hand she was holding.

"Because I'm worried about you. You're having a panic attack," She said calmly.

"H-how do you know?"

"Because I used to have them all the time. I mean, I still get them occasionally," she explained, like it was no big deal. Like Peter didn't feel like he was dying.

"Just breathe with me, okay? You want me to tell you a story to distract you? Sometimes that helps me." Peter nodded his head at her offering.

"Alright, geeze what story," She looked down, trying to think, "Oh!" Her eyes immediately lit up. Peter was certain if she was a cartoon, a lit lightbulb would have appeared over her head.

"So, when I was five, I had a huge obsession with mermaids. Like any movie or book that had to do with mermaids, I consumed it. So at the beach my family went to, there was this women's boutique. Like, think beachwear your fifty year old Aunt from Jersey would wear." Peter found himself chuckling at the description.

"So the store was called the Mermaid's Jewel and I would beg to go there. Not for the clothes. My mom and Aunts hated the clothes there, they thought they were so tacky. But I begged to go because it had Mermaid in the name and outside of the store was this really gaudy statue of a mermaid. I'd talk about the store so much, my family started calling me MJ. And that's how I got my nickname. Well, at least my family's nickname."

Peter smiled, "MJ, huh?" She nodded her head.

It was then Peter noticed that he could actually take in a breath of air without feeling like he was suffocating. He looked down and saw that his hand was still placed over her chest. He quickly pulled away, hoping that by looking away she couldn't see how red his face had become.

"How ya feeling?" She asked, "Better?"

"Yeah, you're…..you're really good at that," He admitted. Usually when that happened, he would just sit or lie down until the feelings passed. Sometimes it would take minutes. Sometimes it would take up to an hour.

Peter didn't know how much time had passed since punching the rando and the end of her story. But he didn't care.

"Thanks. I mean, I just did what I like to do when I have them. Everyone's different. I'm honestly surprised you let me touch you," She admitted. Peter didn't blame her. He hadn't been the most affectionate.

Besides holding her hand. And that was just to make sure she didn't get lost.

"Do you…..wanna get out of here? We can go back to my place?" She offered.

"You….you still want to continue this date?" Peter blurted out. As soon as he said it, he knew how ridiculous it sounded. Miss Sunshine just coached him through all that. If she wanted to leave, the time to do so would have been when Peter was punching that creep. Or when they went to a more secluded spot. Or when he was too busy trying to find a spot on the ground to focus on so he wouldn't dry heave.

"That….that was dumb. Of me to ask! You're not dumb, far from it. That's the quickest I've gotten through one of those, those uh-"

"Panic attacks?"

"Yeah." Realization then hit Peter like a freight train.

"I dropped your ice cream."

She laughed, despite the hint of sadness in her eyes. She took his hands into her's. It was then Peter realized that despite her hands being much smaller, they fit pretty well with his.

Odd.

"It's okay. I think I now owe you some ice cream." She laughed softly, bringing a smile to Peter's face.

"I passed a bodega on the way to your place. We could stop there?" Peter suggested.

"I'd like that," She nodded. Peter grabbed her hand as they began walking.

Not because he thought he'd lose her.

It was just nice.

✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓

"No, put it back." Peter ordered. A pout formed on her face, one that she probably learned from her students.

"We came in for one thing! Ice cream, remember?" He motioned towards the basket he was carrying. Peter got a basket specifically because they were only there for one thing.

"The pretzels are for the ice cream!" She explained, holding the bag up.

"Pretzels would go terrible with mint chocolate chip and raspberry sorbet," Peter retorted.

"They go great with chocolate chip cookie dough."

"We don't have…." She motioned towards the basket. Peter looked down. To his surprise, a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough was there. He looked back at her, confused and also impressed.

"How did you….." She giggled. Peter hated it. One person shouldn't be that fucking cute.

"I'm sneaky like that." She shrugged with a coy smile, putting the bag of pretzels in the basket as she walked by Peter.

"We're checking out now," He told her, despite knowing it would fall on deaf ears.

"I need pizza rolls," She explained, like it was clear as day.

"We did not come here for pizza rolls!" Peter felt like he was talking to a child.

Why did he agree to this?

"Ayyo!" The owner of the Bodega called from the register, "If ya lady wants pizza rolls, let'er get 'em!"

"Oh, um she sh-she isn't m-my-" Peter tried to get out, his face bright red.

"Thank you!" Sunshine called out before turning to Peter, "We should listen to Al, he's pretty great and wise."

"Because he knows that once you put some pizza rolls in the basket, you're gonna get like five other things and then I'll have to get a cart!" He whispered, not wanting to face Al's scolding.

After several minutes of whisper arguing, Peter and the little sassy ball of sunshine were at the cash register, letting Al ring up way more than one item.

Al smirked, pointing to her while looking at Peter, "Ya learnin' quickly. She may look sweet but ya girl's a feisty one."

"She i-is…I mean, I-I'm-" Peter tried to get out.

"He is learning quickly Al!" She said with a grin that Peter wanted to wipe off her face. Whether he wanted to accomplish that with his sleeves or another part of his body-

Why would he want to do that? Oh fuck. Did he want to do that?

No. He didn't. Right?

"He seems like'a good egg for ya" Al said to her. She nodded her head, running a hand up and down Peter's arm. The touch sent a chill up his spine.

Why did this Bodega insist on making the store so cold?

Peter grabbed the shopping bags, trying (and failing) to hide his flustered face.

"He is," She said, motioning to Peter, "Have a good night Al!"

"Do you know how infuriating you are?" Peter asked as soon as they were outside of the Bodega.

"Are you that upset he thought I was 'ya lady's?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Despite the body language, her face was relaxed. Just a raised eyebrow to indicate how curious she was to hear Peter's response.

It was aggravating.

"No!" Peter stopped, realizing now he has to actually think about why he was so frustrated.

It was her, it had to be. She was so grating with her sweet, calm voice. So repulsing with her cuffed overalls, that had a stray flower sticking out from one of the pockets. So unbearable with her soft skin, kind eyes, calming nature, kissable lips-

Kissable? What an inaccurate adjective to describe her lips. They were soft (well they looked soft), and always tinted with a soft rosy hue. She did this odd thing where she'd bit her bottom lip when she was deep in concentration-

"Are you even listening or did you get lost in my eyes again?" Her words snapped Peter out of the daze her horrible, lavender perfume put him in.

"I do not get lost in your eyes," Peter sputtered, thrown in the air out of exasperation.

"Oh what? You space out and it happens to consistently land on my eyes when you face me at any angle?" She snorted.

"Okay, so I look at your eyes sometimes! Eye contact is very important, or so they told me! I don't just look at your eyes-"

"Sometimes you look at my lips. I'll give you that too." She shrugged.

"I do not…y-you are insinuating a lot here, Little Miss Sunshine!"

"I think you're trying to insinuate I'm not your type. Which is hilarious considering how you look at me and hold my hand!" Peter began to walk away, but then she had to make a comment about him holding her hand and he turned around.

"I hold your hand like anyone who forgot the human leash would!"

"Oh, they squeeze the hand without thinking about it and brush their thumb back and forth?"

"Y-You are s-so small and in-infuriating!" He managed to get out.

Miss Sunshine leaned in, her lips dangerously close to his, "Really? You seem to like it a lot, Peter."

The only way to shut her up, the only way to wipe that smirk off her face, was to kiss her. Simple as that. It was just a way to get her to-

Who the fuck was he kidding?

Her lips were soft. They tasted like vanilla. First she smelled great, now she tasted great too? Peter needed to find out where she got the audacity.

After he was done kissing her.

She broke away to collect air. The smirk was still on her face. His hands were still cradling her neck.

"Wipe that smirk off your face."

"Make me."

Kissing her was the best course of action. Besides, it felt really good when Miss Sunshine weaved her hands through his hair.

✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓

Somehow, they got back to her apartment. It took everything it had in Peter not to reveal his alter ego so he could pick her up and swing her back.

It was rusty at first. The mechanics a distant memory. Soon it became familiar once again, like riding a bike for the first time in years.

She somehow managed to put the plastic bags somewhere in her apartment. That was pretty impressive considering Peter was pressing her up against the kitchen wall.

They broke away for oxygen, her hair tickling Peter's chin as she buried her face into his chest.

The scent of her conditioner smelled of mint and rosemary. It was the cool scent that brought him out of the mile-high cloud he was in.

He was kissing her.

He. Was. Kissing. Her.

Oh God, what was he doing?

He stumbled backwards, letting go of her. He took in the sight of her, gasping for air and gripping the counter.

Horror washed over him. No, this wasn't supposed to happen. He never intended to get this far. He never let it get this far, what had he done?

"W-we can stop," She suggested, her voice small, "I k-know it's been awhile for-"

"You don't know me." It was true, not malicious. She didn't know him. She didn't know about what he had truly seen, what plagued his mind. What he did at night.

She didn't know any of those things. So why was he doing this with her?

"It's only our second date," She explained, her confidence faltering with each spoken word.

"Then why are we doing this?" He whispered, trying to make sense of it. He had spent years successfully avoiding this. The last time he had genuinely done this was with-

No. That couldn't be it. That was impossible. Because he didn't deserve that and had accepted that long ago.

"Be-because we like each other?" She tried to make it sound like it was obvious. But by the way her eyes were dullening, she thought otherwise.

"This was a mistake. I'm sorry. I-I….I never wanted to hurt you," the part was true. It was why he had been avoiding being in this situation for almost a decade.

She scoffed, "if you're doing what I think you're doing…."

"I gotta go. I-I'm s-so sorry."

He heard her call his name. He just ran out the door, desperate to get out and away. His breathing was shallow, coming out in short gasps. He wanted to vomit. He was suffocating-

Right. She called them panic attacks.

He got back to his apartment, quickly putting on his masked vigilante ensemble. He could clear his head, he had to when he put on the mask.

Peter swung around, desperate for a distraction. He noticed an odd, glowing light coming from an alley. He swung down, thankful for the interruption.

He walked towards the light, it looking almost like a window with the way the source flickered. Each time he thought he was getting closer, he felt like he was moving further away from the alley.

As he stepped through, his stomach, every bone in his body lurched forward. He felt sick, like he was on a rollercoaster. The sensation lasted both briefly and for what felt like an eternity.

When he opened his eyes (when did he close them?), He was back in the alleyway. He slowly swung out, trying to keep his presence hidden.

Something was off. Way off.

It wasn't just the alert system that sent shockwaves through his body, a sensation due to a Spider bite he received years ago.

It was the off-putting, mildly disorienting feeling you received when you saw a well known logos in the wrong color or font.

It was New York City.

But it wasn't his city.

His attempt to take in all the differences was cut off when the hairs on the back of his neck pointed him towards the left.

Peter turned, raising his hand out in time to catch a brick that was targeted towards his head.

He heard his name called. Spider-Man. Parker. Peter.

How would they know? That was impossible.

"You think a new suit will make us forget about what you did to Mysterio?" An angry voice called out.

Who the hell was Mysterio?