#AgOnY #im Not Crying You're Crying

#AgOnY #im not crying you're crying

this is as good a place to fall as any + feysand for the fic request thing? angst would be good (;

ask and you shall receive - i hope you like angst. I may have used this as personal catharsis and it came out as one of the rawest, and, in my opinion, most painful things I’ve ever written. Not super edited, but I hope you enjoy!  <333.

TW for minor mentions of suicide

Music in the Night

It was the end of another infinitely long day, and Feyre found herself on the roof of the townhouse. The same place she had spent lazy nights with Rhysand, curled up with the stars until dawn. They had once promised each other infinite nights like this, filled with love and whispered secrets and lazy touches.

This time, she was alone.

She had gone out into Velaris by herself today, walked the streets, and been with her people in a way that she hadn’t in years. It had left her bone-weary deep in her soul. After the war, when what was left of her family returned to Velaris, she had been too broken by her grief to mingle with her people. The only thing she was aware of was the emptiness of the void in her head where such life had once flowed. The funeral had been hell, numbness coating her mind and tongue when the priestess asked if she would say a few words.

After she had finally picked herself up, convinced herself to keep going, there was so much to be done. Simply going for a walk never seemed to make the list. Mor had kept Velaris running for years, but she didn’t rule the entire court. And Feyre had never run anything of the sort. It wasn’t long after he was gone that she realized how much Rhys had left to teach her, how much he had not known himself. It had been exhausting as she turned all her energy on fixing the Court instead of looking inward at the dark shards within herself.

 Learn as best as she could from Mor and Lucien what it took to rule, to heal rifts with the Hewn City, who barely recognized her as High Lady, and to Illyria, who only began to respect her once she showed what she was capable of. When they had time, she did physical training with Cassian. Continuing to explore the facets of her magic had been harder. The two beings who might have taught her something more about it were gone.

So for the most part, she gave herself over to her court. They deserved that much. It was nights like these when she allowed herself self-pitying, angry, sorrowful moments. Just her, the night sky, and a bottle of whiskey she had swiped from Rhys’s huge stash. The roof seemed as good a place to fall as any. To ask the Cauldron why so much of the good in her life had been taken. To ask why she always seemed to end up alone.

Because Rhys…Rhys had been taken from her. She had loved him with a passion and fury she knew had been called foolish. But the only foolish thing about their love was how she hadn’t seen the end coming, hadn’t realized that he would sacrifice everything he had to heal the cleaved Cauldron. And when Rhys was truly gone, and even trying to bring him back as he had done to her hadn’t worked – she didn’t reflect on those moments. Ever.

She had survived poverty, Amarantha, and being made, the Ouroboros, and the War. She had been born a fighter.

It hadn’t stopped her from reaching for a knife to turn on herself on that battlefield, in moments when everyone else was too distracted. Azriel had only just stopped her, and there were days she could still feel the sharp kiss of the blade on her chest.

Most of the time – most of the time she was glad she hadn’t done it.

A breeze came up, and Feyre shivered. The backs of her thighs were beginning to dig into the roof.

In the emptiness of the weeks that had followed, she found that she hated silence. Because there was never again going to be passed jokes and musings down that bridge of gold. Never again going to be music sent to her in her darkest moments.

The townhouse became emptier as well.

 Amren had sacrificed herself to end the war. Elain had eventually left Night to pursue a life of travel, slowly healing from the horrors she had witnessed. Lucien was building alliances on the continent, though only after he had been convinced that she wasn’t going to fall apart. Nesta…was complicated. She still lived in Velaris, off of accounts Feyre kept filled, but she barely saw her sister anymore. Feyre wasn’t sure which one of them was more broken, some days.

Mor needed out of Velaris too. Feyre knew she was losing her mind. Though no physical wards kept her here as they once had, she couldn’t abandon the duty she had. Because she didn’t think Feyre was strong enough.

Feyre still doubted herself every step of the way. Because in the end, she did blame herself. She had made a bad choice with what mattered the most, hadn’t seen that his final “I love you” was not a declaration, but a goodbye.

He had known what she would want to believe, apparently known her better than she had known him.

She had always been a fool for a happy ending. Had always wanted it for herself. Her mate had helped her believe that she deserved it until she saw it herself. She had been a dreamer in a Court of Dreams.

Feyre watched the city below, taking a swig of the whiskey. There was a revel in the streets a few blocks away, the beautiful, seductive music taking away the emptiness that lingered in her head.

The Night Court needed a strong leader. They deserved someone who dreamt of a better world, who wasn’t falling apart. And as much as she was unqualified, she knew she had to learn. And as much as she had wanted to let the world fall away as she descended into her grief – she had made a vow. To Rhysand, to her people, to herself. To deny that – it would make her an utter failure.

So, she had forced herself to become that person, and learn to lead, to play the games of Court. To heal wounds the war had ripped open. A leader with an iron heart and mask of steel.  

The one thing she couldn’t learn again was how to forgive. She couldn’t forgive Tamlin, or Hybern, or herself. No matter how much Mor and Elain beseeched her. Elain had dragged her to the same mind-healer that she had been seeing in Dawn. Not a daemati – but someone who focused on emotional and psychological wellness. After a few visits, she had stopped going.

She needed closure, Elain had told her. It was easy for her to say. Every inch of this place didn’t remind her of their father. How could you find closure when the wound was ripped open again every day?

Another swig of whiskey and the music grew louder. A sob hiccupped in her throat, and she pushed it down. She wasn’t drunk enough to stop caring yet, and if she started crying now she would never stop.

She wondered how the history books would be written, sometimes. Human and Fae alike. Would the fae praise how she had defeated Amarantha, or as time went on, would the ballads and stories be edited and brushed under the rug to hide how helpless the faeries had really been? Would they tell how she fought her way across that bloody plain, each swing of her sword for a better world?

Would the elegies they painted eulogize Rhysand properly?

Would they tell how she had let him die?

She shook her head violently, strands of hair shaking free from the tight braid she had pulled it back into. She had cut it to shoulder length a few weeks after the war – practically a cliché from one of the books she had read. Since then, she had never let it grow back out.

She wouldn’t let herself think of all she hadn’t done now. She had done that enough – days where nightmares tore her from sleep and she replayed those minutes on the battlefield over and over, trying to find a different way.

 Instead, she thought back to what that healer had told her at the Dawn Court. She had given Feyre breathing exercises she couldn’t remember now, and she had told her that it was okay to talk about them. It had all seemed so useless at the time.

Elain had found catharsis in it, though. She didn’t just talk about their father – she talked to him, she had confided.

Another swig of whiskey – longer, this time. It burned as it went down, and it made her buzzed enough to say what the hell.

“Rhys?” She whispered, so softly. She had never – never spoken to him like this. Screaming his name as she was torn from his arms in every last nightmare, yes. But this - she had always thought it would hurt too much.

“I hope that you’re happy, Rhys.” She knew that he thought he was Lord of Nightmares, that wherever he went after he died wouldn’t be pleasant. It was something she had been working to slowly changed his mind about, making him see that he wasn’t damned.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t stop you – didn’t realize until it was too late. I didn’t find any other way. I know – I know that you wouldn’t have had it any other way. That you didn’t want to stop me. But I’m so sorry and I will never stop regretting and hating myself for it –” Her words broke off with a sob as she finally let the tears come. “And if you can somehow hear this – I just need you to know that I will never stop loving you. And I’m trying my best to fill the void you left behind, to be the leader everyone needs me to be.” For a while, the only sound was her breathing and the distant music as her words were swallowed up by the night.

She sniffed a little. “Do you remember our last night up here? It was just a few days before we left. Did you know you wouldn’t be back?” Another long pause, like she was giving him time to reply. “I’m sure even then you were planning. But I just remember – we were up here, it was a night a lot like this. No wine or lingerie – it was just us, the stars, and the city. I fell asleep up here, in your arms. You told me stories of your adventures years ago. The time you and Azriel got lost in Malwich and – well, I never heard the end of it. I was so exhausted. Do you think Az would tell it to me if I asked him?”   

Silence echoed as the distant song wound down.

“I miss you.” She said quieter than ever, barely a breath. “You spent your last breaths telling me that you loved me…and I never said it back. Because I thought I would have a million more times to say it, and so you never heard it that final time even though I’m sure you knew –“ Snot plugged up her nose and she sniffed again, voice ugly and cracking. “I love you, Rhysand.”

She buried her head in her arms as the music slowly started up again. It slowly grew louder until she could make out a familiar tune.

Feyre could have laughed. It wasn’t the music Rhysand had sent her Under the Mountain. It was an echo of it, an answer to the original piece’s question. The haunting melody and drifting notes filled her head and her soul. They chased out the awful silence and made her feel new, if only for a moment.

She recalled back when she was human, laying in her cell as that music floated down. She had drifted somewhere in the clouds, seen faces she couldn’t make out. Just as it had been then – as she gazed out at the unclouded sky, she could have sworn she saw Rhysand peering back at her with love in his eyes – for just a moment.

Perhaps just a trick of her eyes, of a desperate soul. But as she gazed up at those bright stars, she didn’t stop the tears from falling.

I love you, Rhys. 

She stayed out there long after the music had died down until she could see a hint of dawn’s rosy hue rising over the Sidra. The memory of the song echoed in her head, keeping the silence at bay.

More Posts from Xo-fangirl-xo and Others

2 years ago

there is really compelling, really strong textual evidence for elriel, gwynriel, and elucien. there is foreshadowing for each of them. can y’all stop bullying each other about who’s most correct for one second? you’re all right. it’s all there. that’s kind of the point, since sjm is writing a series and has to build suspense to keep sales up. no one is more right. it’s all there. stop fighting and go touch some grass.

2 years ago

Fic Writing on Tumblr - Tips

Hello friends! I'm sure there's a million of these style posts floating around the good ole hellsite, but I thought I'd make a little post to tape up on our corner of the internet for any of the writers (old and new) that are interested in some tips for posting fic on tumblr 💕

Tip #1 - Always Use a Read More

This is crucial if you actually want people to reblog your fic. People don't generally want to subject their followers to scrolling through an entire chapter. I know it may seem like you're more likely to "hook" readers by putting all the story up front, but people who may have ordinarily read your fic may be disinclined simply because you decided not to follow this curtesy. As a general rule, I always put a "read more" on any fic that exceeds 500 words.

Tip #2 - Be Mindful of Using Art

Fandom is a community and people who read fanfic are part of that community. A lot of times, readers on tumblr will know fandom artists and their reposting rules. Always use credit if you will be using fanart as a header for your fic and always double check the artist allows this. Usually their reposting rules are stated very clearly on their instagram bios.

Additionally, you need to be aware that the art you're using is setting a first impression for your fic. For example, if you use AI art as a header, many users will decide not to reblog your fic simply because they do not support AI. The same goes for using art of whitewashed characters.

I would personally recommend creating a banner or moodboard for your fic, which will give you much more creative license to give the impression you feel is truest to your story! I use canva for all of my banners and moodboards, though you may find other apps that work better for you!

Tip #3 - Taglists

It is common curtesy to only tag people if they have requested to be on the tag list. There are some exceptions to this, where you may tag friends that you know don't mind or users who have openly encouraged their followers to add them to taglists (like me), but as a general rule of thumb, you should avoid tagging people unless they explicitly ask.

If you want to use a taglist but don't know where to start, I would recommend posting a (small) teaser or a synopsis of your fic in the appropriate tag and simply ask people to interact if they'd like to be added to the taglist.

Tip #4 - Use a Masterlist and hyperlink, hyperlink, hyperlink!

Fic Writing On Tumblr - Tips

People are more likely to read your work if you make it easy for them to find. Generally, people won't spend time scrolling through your archive trying to find chapter 1 of a multi-chaptered fic you just posted. Making a masterlist that you link to each chapter will help new readers start at the beginning. And if they like your writing, a masterlist will also help them do a full binge of your works!

My friend @ofduskanddreams also recently did a poll here that suggested most users (at least in our corner of the internet) prefer to read fic on AO3. If you'll be cross posting to AO3, I definitely recommend adding a link on each chapter as well as linking your AO3 in your bio or main masterlist.

Tip #5 - Use appropiate tags and content warnings

Foremost, be respectful. While it may be tempting to use the ship tags for any background relationships that appear in the fic, I advise only tagging the ships that are central to the story. You may think using tags for background ships will give your fic a wider reach, but really you're just going to clog those tags with content that isn't really related to the ship. People, generally, don't appreciate this! Fandom is a community and our community is fairly small, so you definitely don't want to set off on the wrong foot by trying to "game" the tag system. People go into those tags because they want to see content for their ship and seeing an improperly tagged fic will certainly turn them off reading it and possibly reading anything from you in the future!

Additionally, if there is anything in your fic that might warrant a content warning (e.g. graphic violence, non-con or dub-con, blood, torture, etc.), then you will want to ensure you label this upfront. Both in the tags (with the format tw: blood or cw: blood) and stated clearly at the top of the fic (E.g. "Content warning: this fic contains graphic depictions of sexual violence). As a curtesy, all potentially triggering or NSFW content should be put beneath a read more.

Tip #6 - Fanfic Is a Community

I really can't express this enough! If you are not experiencing the engagement that you want on your fic, try engaging more with the wider community! Reblog and leave comments on other people's fics, send other people asks, reblog art and headcanons, participate in event weeks.

And lastly, because this is a community, be concious of the posts you make outside of fic. Your writing may be good, but if you make unlikeable posts about other characters, ships, etc., people may decide they don't want to support your works on principle. While it's impossible to please everyone and it's important to be true to you, it's important to understand that your blog represents your writing just as much as your writing represents your blog.

2 years ago

Spoilers below, you have been warned

Also, this is a really long post about fan theories after HOAB

--------

So, we have a crossover

And where that leaves us?

First, Dusk Truth

Guys, we have likely confirmed that Dusk Court has existed and its dissapearance has to do something with the crossing.

Also, its inhabitants peobably had powers connected to starlight as far as we can guess.

Those are only guesses of course, but it sounds to coincidental not to be true.

Secondly, Rhysand's surname

We KNOW, not just suppose that Ruhn Danaan is has some familial ties to Rhysand. We also know, that he is of a royal line, so its given that through the lineage they wanted to keep they surname

You know, dynasty and such things.

But, what can it mean?

Well, its again just a guess, but there might be high chance, that we were given Rhysand's surname literally YEARS ago.

Rhysand Danaan has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

There is also another option we have there, as there is other royal fae family in Valbara.

Talking about Cormac Donnall of course.

But seeing the resemblance between Rhys and Ruhn, its even less probable, I would say

Again, its just a theory, but maybe our dreams really came true this time

What about the Autumn King?

By now, it was as well as confirmed, that valbaran fae have their origin in the world of ACOTAR. We know that Autumn King's powers consists of FIRE.

And he is a REDHEAD.

Sounds like the Autumn Court, don't you think?

Hell, even his name implicates it.

It might get really interesting if his name is revealed, maybe we have already heard of him during ACOTAR.

And we have Danika Fendyr researching shifter origins.

As someone has mentioned before me, Fendyr sounds a hell lot similiar to Fenrys, and he was fae, who could shift into a wolf.

Also, comparing their appearances, Fenrys's golden blond hair with golden brown eyes certiainly could mean that him and Danika, with her silvery blonde hair and caramel eyes, are somewhat related.

Can he somehow be entwined with this?

This sounds the most improbable of all theories in this post, but seems like quite interesting opportunity

And the books!

At the beginning of HOEAB we marveled at the fact, that books in the library in Jesiba's gallery have so similar names to those ones we know from TOG and ACOTAR.

But now we can be almost sure -- they are really THE SAME books, brought to Valbara during the crossing!

Well, as I said, those are only theories and speculations, but let me know what you think about it :D

3 years ago

SO GOOD ASDFGHJKL

Could you do one where Nyx is like a bit older and has like a nightmare of his parents' past (insert magical reason here) and crawls into bed with Feysand and they comfort him

So.   Not what I expected to write with this prompt, but here we are.  It’s pretty Nyx centric, but of course has Feysand moments.

I’m working on some other prompts and the next part of What Hurts the Most will be ready next week.  I’ve also got some Rowaelin in the mix.

warnings: nightmares, panic, mentions of past traumas, hurt/comfort

...

Of Things In the Past

The boy was used to nightmares.

A shame really for one so young. But he lived in a place of horror, of terror, where war had carved its mark so carefully that it was impossible to escape.

Usually, his nightmares only consisted of having his wings disappear while he was in flight. Or his sword would turn to ivory bone in his grasp. They were simple things. Simple nightmares that he knew how to chase away. His mother was the Defender of the Rainbow after all. His father the High Lord.

Nyx knew how to deal with nightmares.  His parents had taught him since he was a child after all.  

“Again,” his mother said.

Nyx brushed his hair out of his eyes and scowled.  His mother stood before him clad in her Illyrian leathers and a determined look in her eyes. They were in the training hall just off the regular rooms of the house and had been for nearly two hours.

Under normal circumstances, Nyx wouldn’t have minded the extra training.  But he was fifteen and had other things he wanted to do.  Particularly explore the back woods of Velaris with Zephyr and Torin.  He and his cousins were supposed to go camping later that summer, but at the way his parents were hovering Nyx doubted it would happen.

“Nyx!” his mother shouted.

Nyx put up his mental barrier just as his mother sent an attack.  He felt the wave of magic beat against his defenses in an attempt to breach him mind.  Gritting his teeth, Nyx kept the barrier up.

“Hold it,” his mother encouraged.

His defense was slipping, just a bit.  Just enough that Nyx knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out for much longer.

“Ma,” Nyx tried to say, but he never finished.  A fracture formed in the wall he’d put up and a pulse of magic sent him sprawling on his back.

For a brief moment, Nyx got a flash in his mother’s head.

Feyre Archeron—High Lady of the Night Court—was as closed off as they came. Nyx knew that.  He knew how strong his mother was, had heard plenty of stories depicting how capable she was.  She had been trained by his father and never let anything get in her way.

So when he was sprawled out on his back, Nyx almost didn’t realize what he’d done.

But in a quick moment, Nyx was thrust into his mother’s mind.

He saw her first.  His mother with her hair hanging a bit lackluster down her back as she stood in a dark throne room of sorts.  It was unlike anything Nyx had seen before.  But there was no mistaking what he saw, nor the woman with bright red hair sitting on a throne as she smiled cruelly down.

Just as suddenly as the vision started; it was gone.

Nyx gasped and sat up. He was in the training hall with his mother kneeling beside him.

“Are you alright?” Feyre asked.  She reached out to brush his hair from his face and make sure nothing was amiss.

“I’m fine,” Nyx insisted. He pushed his mother off, ignoring her frown and flash of pain in her eyes.  He’ never liked it when she tried to treat him like a child.  And she was very skilled at doing that.

His mother pulled away with a sigh. “Alright.  Why don’t you head off to bed?  It’s getting late.”

Nyx rose and brushed off his pants.  Of course it was late.  She always kept him at home doing things he’d rather not do instead of having fun with his cousins.

“Yeah, alright,” he muttered.

Feyre stood as well and made sure to offer him a hug.  She was always fond of hugs and physical touch.

"Sleep well little prince," his mother said and kissed him on the forehead. She was lovely, Nyx knew. Father talked about her beauty enough as it was. But with mother's long dark blonde hair and her bright blue eyes, and a defiant tilt of her chin...mother was lovely.

He pulled away from her. “Good night, mom.”

Nyx left the training hall, trying to keep his mental walls up against the subtle pokes and prods she sent his way even now.  Sometimes his mother never really left well enough alone.  She was always there either in his mind or around the corner.

He knew she worried. Knew she cared.  But sometimes it was too much.

Nyx made it to his rooms and changed into his nightwear.  He was too tired to sneak out tonight—though he knew Zephyr wanted him to, they’d talked about meeting up tonight if just for a chance to get out of the house before their supposed camping trip.  But Nyx doubted if Uncle Lucien and Aunt Elain would be easily fooled by Zeph’s attempts to get out of the house.  

Sighing, Nyx settled into bed.  One of these days he’d get out of another late night training with his mother.

...

Run.

Keep running.

There was no escape now.

Mud smeared Nyx’s boots, his pants, his hands, and face. He could smell the rot and salt of it and feel it burn against his skin.  The scent burned his nose and stained his tongue until the taste of it lingered no matter how many times he spat or swallowed.

Where was he?

He had no idea having never seen these walls of dirt nor floor of grime before.  All he knew was that he had to keep running.  Behind him he heard a guttural growl, something ancient and bred of horror.

Vaguely, Nyx wondered if this was how he'd die.

He turned down another path, desperate for escape. He was met with a dead end. Cursing, Nyx spun to head back the way he came. He tried to use his wings, tried to fly above this labyrinth of mud and stink, but every time he flexed his muscles to move his wings searing pain shot through his body.

His only choice was to run.

Nyx tripped over a rock at his feet and went sprawling on his face. He spat gunk out of his mouth and braced a hand on the wall, slick with something he didn’t want to know. As he hauled himself to his feet, Nyx’s mine whirled. Which way? Which way?

"Move!" A voice shouted from overhead.

He paused.  Looked up into dark shadows. So many shadows and forms that he couldn’t quite make out.  But then he remembered. This was an arena. There were people watching him play out his death.

"Move!" The voice came again.

Nyx ran, mud falling from his tattered clothes, his dirty skin. He was so tired. So alone.

He turned down one path and came to a large wall. Another dead end. This was it. There was nowhere else to run. He shifted his feet, something crunched. Nyx glance down to see bones. Piles of bone from all those who had come before him.

Among the heaps of ivory and gore was also a body. A body dressed in tattered tunic and fine gold blonde hair turned red with blood.

They shouldn’t be here. They shouldn’t be subjected to this. This was his fate and his alone.

"Get up! Nyx screamed. "Get up, it's coming!"

The body didn't move. Not as another shape came to kneel beside it. A shape dark as night with a pair of great black wings unfurling behind him.  Nyx immediately recognized his father, but couldn’t imagine what he’d be doing here.

Rhysand fell over the body, weeping openly cursing the gods and cauldron alike.

No. No. What was happening? That body, that women… could it be?

Nyx slid in the mud as she came to his father’s side.  He could feel horror and dread building up inside of him even as he told himself it wasn’t true.  It couldn’t be.

"You were too late," his father whispered looking up at him. "Don't you see?"

Nyx stared down at the body cradled in his father’s arms only to find his mother staring lifelessly back at him.

..

Nyx shot out of bed with a silent scream on his lips and his heart thudding too hard in his chest.

What had happened? What had he seen?

The lights of his room came on without a second thought as Nyx kicked off his blankets and ran his hands over his face, his chest, his legs. No blood. No mud. Just sweat staining his skin.  Just bile rising in his throat.  

Breathing heavily, Nyx ran a hand through his hair. He was used to nightmares. Used to terror and fear. Used to everything the world lay at his feet.

But that? That had been too visceral, too real.

Nyx flew out of bed, barely pausing long enough to find a pair of slippers for his chilled feet. He ran from his room, not caring for the late hour. He moved down hall after hall, panic rising with each wrong turn he made. He'd grown up in this palace why was he getting lost?

His dream came back to him. Each wrong turn. The low growls. His mother, dead.

Nyx burst into the main living room having followed that invisible thread that tied him to his parents.

The room was almost completely empty, save his mother.  She sat on a stool facing a canvas and a pallet of paint in one hand.  She seemed to be pondering whatever scene she was creating. But as soon as Nyx stumbled into the room, she looked up.

Concern laced her features as she took him in and set aside her paints. “Nyx?”

She was no longer streaked in blood. No longer covered in mud lifeless in his father's arms.

Without waiting another moment, Nyx was dashing across the room, pulling his mother into a crushing hug.

"What happened my prince?" Feyre murmured. She didn't pull back, only kept him pulled tight against her.  He wondered if she could feel his panic coursing through him like an arrow released from a bow.  Quick and sharp and strong.  

It had only been a few hours since they’d finished their training session, but it felt like centuries now.

Nyx shuddered a breath as tears pricked at his eyes. Shame and sorrow pulsed through him. He was nearly sixteen, he should not be crying over nightmares no matter how they tore at him.

Mother ran her fingers through his hair and continued whispering soft kindnesses to him. Nyx tightened his hold. He almost didn't notice when father joined them. He wished he had so he could get his wits about him.

Nyx tried to pull out of his mother's grasp, but she wouldn't let him get far. He noted the pain in her eyes which caused more shame to well within him. Why did he only manage to cause his mother suffering?

“What happened?” Father asked from behind him.  He sounded just as concerned as Mother looked.

Nyx shook his head and stood as tall as he could. “Nothing. It is nothing.”

He considered winnowing away but father immediately put a shield up through the room.

“It's alright, Nyx,” Mother assured him. She kept one hand laced with his and ran gentle circles over the back of his hand. “Tell us what happened.”

Nyx ran a hand beneath his eyes. He was not weak. He was strong like his father and mother.

“It was only a nightmare,” Nyx admitted.

“What sort of nightmare,” Mother prodded, soft and kind with her words.

Nyx took another shuddering breath.  It was odd speaking so plainly.  He’d never liked doing so despite how his parents continuously encouraged it.  But it had never been something that had come easily to him.

He looked away and focused instead on the fireplace that had eased down into a small pool of glowing embers.

“I was in a pit. A dark pit full if mud and bones. And I had to run—I had to run through these tunnels while a monster chased me.” He swallowed stiffly feeling the dark tendrils of that dream clawing at him even now.  “And I saw you mom, but you...you were dead. And it was my fault.”

His voice shook on the last notes of his words. Mother pulled him back into her arms, whispering to him that it was alright, that he was safe.

Father's hand came on his shoulder and drew Nyx into a near bone crushing hug. And when father looked at him, Nyx could see tears in his father’s eyes.

It was a startling sight, Nyx realized.  To see such open vulnerability displayed.  

“That is not a place I wanted you to see,” mother murmured as she reached out to take Nyx’s hand again.  “I think when we were practicing before bed, part of you remained within my defenses.  And you witnessed some of my memories.”

Nyx frowned.  He’d heard all his mother’s stories. Everything about Prythian and the human lands, Spring Court, the war.  What was that from?  He looked between his parents and could see that they were having one of their silent conversations that they always did.

“Under the Mountain.” Mother’s voice held none of its usual buoyancy.  Rather it was flat and cold.

Under the Mountain.

Oh.

He’d heard about that to.  When mother had in fact died.  Died to save the Fae and end a curse that had destroyed so many lives.  But it would seem he hadn’t heard everything about that time.

“That was a dark time Nyx,” Mother continued, “for both your father and I.  And…there will come a time when you’ll hear more about it, but not yet.”

His parents exchanged another look and Nyx could feel that subtle twist of magic that pulsed between the two of them.  He wasn’t sure why he could often feel their mate bond like this—that innate power of shared love and life—but he could.  It was easy enough to ignore as it so rarely concerned him.  But this little tug, this was something deep and abiding.

Feyre ran her fingers through Nyx’s hair as she always did.  Her blue eyes were filled with more pain that Nyx ever wanted to see there again.

“You don’t need to have any of that in your life right now.” His mother pulled him into another embrace and this time Nyx didn’t fight it.  All he knew was that his mother was here.  That his dreams were gone.  And he was safe.

...

tags--bolded don’t link, let me know if you’d like to be added to my taglist

@aelinchocolatelover  // @sexy-dumpster-fire // @bamchickawowow // @ireallyshouldsleeprn // @courtofjurdan // @sassys-world // @sleeping-and-books // @superspiritfestival // @chieflemming // @julemmaes // @lysandra-ghost-leopard // @firestarsandseneschals-writes // @emikadreams // @rapunzel1523 // @booksofthemoon // @highladysith // @fangirlprincess09 // @rowaelinismyotp // @vanzetanze // @jlinez // @cassianscool // @stardelia // @my-fan-side // @sjmships // @tillyrubes10 // @acourtofsjmtrash // @hellasblessed // @rhysandswhore  //  @story-scribbler  // @post-it-notes33 // @live-the-fangirl-life // @strangevil321 // @whythefuckdoiexist // @pastasiren // @beanco8 // @lemonade-coolattas @foreverfallingforthestars // @themoonthestarsthesuriel// @feysand-loml // @scribbled-semantics // @realbookloverproblems // @ghostlyrose2 // @swankii-art-teacher // @foughtconquered // @bri-loves-sunflowers // @captain-swan-is-endgame // @tanvee1231 // @mystic-bibliophile // @cretaceous-therapod // @thenightgodess-feyrearcheron //  @thisloveseternal // @gracie-rosee //

2 years ago

Sure, Night Court drama is interesting. You got that whole thing with Cassian, Mor and Azriel. You got Cassian and Nesta ETL. You got whatever is going on with Azriel, Elain, Lucien and potentially Gwyn. You've got the Archeron sisters fighting like cats and dogs. You've got Rhys thinking he's doing the right thing but he's actually fucking up majorly. It's messy as hell. It's a trashy reality TV show that's kind of cringey to watch, but you watch it anyway because you can't look away from the clusterfuck.

But the Autumn Court? The Autumn Court is in a league of its own. You got Lucien being the product of an affair between the LOA and Helion that spanned centuries. You've got everyone knowing that Lucien is the product of this affair except for Lucien and Helion themselves. You've got LOA hating her abusive husbands guts but not doing anything about it besides probably plotting his death with her eldest son. You got the Vanserra brothers actively despising each other and throwing each other under the bus every chance they get. You've got the whole shit with poor Jesminda that Lucien spent centuries blaming Eris for, even though Eris did what he could to try and help. You've got an entire court running on shitty policies that someone needs to do something about. You've got centuries of bad blood in a family, where truly anything could have occurred. The alliances, the betrayals, the scandals.

That is a reality TV show that I would watch the shit out of.

3 years ago
Favourite Tog Series Quotes- (3/?)

favourite tog series quotes- (3/?)

2 years ago

"Rhys doesn’t mind sharing" 👀

.

.

.

i need holy water.

Darling, I'm a Daydream Dressed Like a Nightmare

Summary: When Lucien goes to the Night Court to update Feyre and Rhys the Spring Court, they would like to thank Lucien for his services in the naughtiest way possible.

Written for @sjmkinkmeme​ and also a massive thank you to @separatist-apologist​ for beta reading

Pairing: Feyre Archeron x Rhysand x Lucien Vanserra

Word Count: 4k

Content Warning: Dubious Consent, Explicit Cheating

Read on AO3

image

Lucien hated the Court of Nightmares.

Rhysand’s underground court made his skin crawl, reminded him far too much of Amarantha. How Rhys could stand it after being trapped for fifty years, Lucien didn’t know. He was surprised Feyre hadn’t ordered it demolished, if only as a favor to her mate.

Still, when the High Lord and Lady of the Night court summoned him there to give his monthly report on Spring, he had no option other than to show up, not while they offered him the only employment he was likely to find.

Keep reading

2 years ago

well @chloegong we called it

BUT JULIETTE AND ROMA MONTAGOV 😭🥹😩

xo-fangirl-xo - 3am shower thoughts
2 years ago

I just remembered that Elaine never said Azriel's name.In what situation do you think she will do it?

when she fucks him

3 years ago

wait chloe wasn't joking about "father, i crave violence" line hahhahha

  • darling-archeron
    darling-archeron liked this · 2 years ago
  • hereiammmmmm
    hereiammmmmm liked this · 2 years ago
  • xo-fangirl-xo
    xo-fangirl-xo reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • xo-fangirl-xo
    xo-fangirl-xo liked this · 3 years ago
  • xo-fangirl-xo
    xo-fangirl-xo reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • hellotherejulyseptember
    hellotherejulyseptember liked this · 3 years ago
  • s123b456
    s123b456 liked this · 3 years ago
  • samyciuciu17-happy
    samyciuciu17-happy liked this · 3 years ago
  • darling-archeron
    darling-archeron reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • randomshnizts
    randomshnizts liked this · 3 years ago
  • midnightrose-reader
    midnightrose-reader reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • midnightrose-reader
    midnightrose-reader liked this · 3 years ago
  • thenightgodess-feyrearcheron
    thenightgodess-feyrearcheron reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • cityofchelsea16
    cityofchelsea16 liked this · 3 years ago
  • elentiyawhitethorn
    elentiyawhitethorn liked this · 3 years ago
  • kamaolo
    kamaolo liked this · 3 years ago
  • achernarlight
    achernarlight liked this · 3 years ago
  • foughtconquered
    foughtconquered liked this · 3 years ago
  • whimsicalpanda
    whimsicalpanda reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • whimsicalpanda
    whimsicalpanda liked this · 3 years ago
  • angelofmusic81
    angelofmusic81 reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • angelofmusic81
    angelofmusic81 liked this · 3 years ago
  • timesconvert
    timesconvert liked this · 3 years ago
  • f-cursebreaker
    f-cursebreaker reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • f-cursebreaker
    f-cursebreaker liked this · 3 years ago
  • wessa1880
    wessa1880 liked this · 3 years ago
  • mayhemories
    mayhemories reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • mayhemories
    mayhemories liked this · 3 years ago
  • companion-to-owls
    companion-to-owls liked this · 3 years ago
  • light-in-the-shadows72
    light-in-the-shadows72 liked this · 3 years ago
  • hugs-and-wishes
    hugs-and-wishes liked this · 3 years ago
  • tillyrubes10
    tillyrubes10 liked this · 3 years ago
  • feysand-loml
    feysand-loml reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • feysand-loml
    feysand-loml liked this · 3 years ago
  • asterinthesiren
    asterinthesiren reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • asterinthesiren
    asterinthesiren liked this · 3 years ago
  • live-the-fangirl-life
    live-the-fangirl-life reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • live-the-fangirl-life
    live-the-fangirl-life liked this · 3 years ago
  • ilya-halfelven
    ilya-halfelven liked this · 3 years ago
  • illyrianbeauty
    illyrianbeauty reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • barbitek
    barbitek liked this · 4 years ago
  • illyrianbeauty
    illyrianbeauty liked this · 4 years ago
  • ghostlyrose2
    ghostlyrose2 reblogged this · 4 years ago
xo-fangirl-xo - 3am shower thoughts
3am shower thoughts

·𝓜𝓾𝓵𝓽𝓲𝓯𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓸𝓶 · 𝕓𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕤 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚢𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚢 𝗮𝗻𝗱 ᥴ᥆ᥒ𝗍ᥱm⍴ᥣᥲ𝗍іᥒg ᥣі𝖿ᥱ

252 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags