Voicemail I

─── 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒, 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘, 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒

+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 7.1k | content: fluff, making out, college!au, mentions of insecurity, only very brief angst !!, alcohol, slight jealousy

notes: this was supposed to be lengthier and in smau format but i suck at that so here it is in fic format :’) i know i know, i write sae way too much </3

summary: you have a crush on sae. for a long time now. and he’s always known that. he just wants to see how long you can hold out.

HIGH SCHOOL: 2ND YEAR

itoshi sae knows you like him.

you’re really obvious it’s pathetic, really. once during recess, he’d wanted to go back to the classroom to get some shut eye because soccer was way too draining lately, and guess who he saw slipping a little love note into his locker?

of course you. you and your little pink heart-shaped post-it that read i think you’re cute and i really really like you. because it was valentines and you were one of the many to send him little scribbles of confessions.

even now, when you sit just a couple of rows in front of him, he catches you looking behind at him, and sae purposely doesn’t look at you, doesn’t let you know he knows you’re staring. he’s not really sure why. maybe he feels bad if he exposes you or something.

throughout the rest of your sophomore year in high school, he continues to observe as you so subtly (not really) try to be friends with him. you always try to get picked to be in the same group as him for projects (which never works out), you try to sit next to him in lecture halls (but his friends cockblock you always), and during phys ed classes you try so hard with soccer but you’re really quite bad at it.

maybe it’s sae not being able to continue observing your failures that he throws you a bone.

“you need to bend your knees a little more.”

frozen stiff from the unexpected company, you awkwardly try to bend your knees further, all while staring at the ground. if sae was nice, he’d laugh and joke around with you, asking why you seemed so scared of him. but he’s not, so he only sighs and stands beside you while you try.

after a few more seconds, sae understands you don’t really understand so he moves to push down on your thigh, and by then you really freeze up, falling flat on your ass in front of him.

sae wants to laugh now, really, because it’s amusing how nervous you are. for no good reason too.

the next time sae talks to you, it’s during lunch time when he queues up behind you. on purpose. he doesn’t even usually eat from this stall, but seeing you there makes him want to mess with you a little. he purposely stands a little too close, makes himself prone to an accidental bump.

which does happen. because you’re just like that.

“oh, sor—” you stop midway as if realising it’s sae immediately dissolves you of any obliged apologies. “sorry,” you force out before whipping your attention back in front. the both of you don’t talk in that moment and sae can’t help but feel a little disappointed.

but sae continues to help you during phys ed classes, and you still try to get assigned to be his group mate. nothing groundbreaking happens during sophomore year of high school because nothing is born out of it.

nothing, except maybe a tiny bit of sae’s inexplicable emotions for you.

HIGH SCHOOL: SENIOR YEAR

sae thinks maybe you went to a shrine over the holidays. how else would he explain you finally getting partnered with him on a project? and to top it off, it’s a two-person team for the entire year.

you get him all to yourself.

the moment the teacher calls your name after his, it’s like sae can practically see your tail wagging. you manage to compose yourself when you catch him staring at you though.

it’s a little cute, if he’s being honest.

“so, what do you think our project should be about?” your voice wavers a little when you speak to him. is he that intimidating?

sae wonders what if he tries to be a dick during this project. would you be obedient or would you actually bite back?

he tries to find out.

sae shrugs and acts disinterested, staring out the window of the second floor of the library where you’d both agreed to meet to work on it together. “don’t know, don’t care, think you could handle it for us? i’ve got too many soccer trainings, too tired.”

for a split second, you’re taken aback—he sees you sitting upright a little more, blinking twice at him because surely that’s not what you imagined your crush to behave like. not when he has straight As and is almost the top of your cohort.

and for a while, sae thinks you might actually be the former; obediently listening to him, making sure he’s happy. but then you furrow your brows and clench your fists and go “itoshi sae, who do you think you are” and oh, oh, you’re not the former, you’re the latter and you’d actually kill him if he was a dick. fuck.

somehow his hands instinctively come up in surrender and his mouth opens, “i was just kidding.”

it’s almost comical how your expression softens up immediately and you laugh, and sae keeps staring at you because you actually have a really nice smile. he never really noticed it before. and when the two of you actually get started on the project, sae finds himself observing you more than actually contributing.

yeah, you’re really quite pretty.

“any plans for the summer?”

it’s now almost july and summer break is around the corner, and to be honest sae’s kind of bummed about it. it’s beyond him why not seeing you would make him disappointed, but he’s not going to try and pursue the reason. he has his training camps to worry about.

“soccer. you?”

“mmm, a short trip with my parents.”

usually sae would leave it at that, but he asks about you, and he sees that tail wagging again. “where?”

“just gonna go to hokkaido,” you tell him. and you look like you’re anticipating him to ask more, but sae’s stuck. he doesn’t really know what to ask. he’s not exactly curious as to what you’d be doing there.

so you take matters into your own hand when you swiftly grab his phone from the table, key in your number and call yourself from his phone before putting it right back. sae watches you the whole time, wondering when exactly you’d gotten this bold.

“there, now you can’t escape me even over summer break.”

and he doesn’t. because you text him about your trip when you’re there, you send him pictures of the scenery and of the food you’re eating and you’re really inconsiderate because you send him that shit when he’s stuck in soccer bootcamp with twenty-four sweaty guys who’s none the better than him.

sae can end it by all means, just by not responding to you, but for the first time, talking to someone isn’t really a pain, and he thinks you’re kind of funny and the stickers you send are kind of cute so he’ll let this continue. even if by continue he means sending mediocre, lacklustre responses that just barely manages to keep the conversation going.

(in sae’s mind at eighteen, sending replies like okay and i see are considered acceptable and subjectively considered effort.)

when summer break finally ends and it’s early september, sae finally sees you again while he walks to school. he walks a little faster just to catch up to you before he adjusts his pace, acts like it’s coincidence that he’s right beside you.

and somehow he’s made it a routine; to memorise what bus you get off of and catch you on the way to school. even if he sees you in classes and even after classes in the library.

you’re acting a little less like he’s on a podium and more like normal friends and he kind of likes that. he likes being able to see you unfiltered when you gossip, likes seeing you laugh at stupid lame jokes, likes the way you hang close to him whenever you’re beside him.

okay maybe like is a little stretching it, he doesn’t mind being able to tolerate it. or maybe he’s just in denial, whatever.

winter comes and it’s somehow the time when more girls try to talk to him, mainly because somehow the school decides to hold a winter event this year; it’s going to be held near the edge of the city, where the biggest skating rink is.

by his guess, most girls are looking for a guy to have a skating date with.

in the library during your usual meetup for the school project, sae gets more than a couple visitors trying to get him for that same reason. you eye everyone that approaches the table, and sae can’t help but notice how he actually likes when you’re pouty. maybe it’s his twisted thinking that jealousy means you’re still into him.

“itoshi-kun, i was thinking whether you wanted to go to the winter event together?” another girl from your class, mizuno, asks him, and sae is tired of it, frankly. but he doesn’t show it. he only looks at you, and you look back at him because he doesn’t usually stare for this long.

then, he looks at mizuno and rejects her.

“sorry, can’t, i’m going with y/n.”

(you get home that day being completely flustered and completely happy.)

on the day of the event, sae keeps his word. he goes with you, sticks beside you the entire time. his friends snap pictures of the two of you and you always look so embarrassed. maybe you’re just not used to all of this attention. but that’s fine, it’s cute.

one thing he learns about you is that you can be real clumsy sometimes. like now, when you get so excited over your watermelon slushie that you somehow spill it all over your jacket and clothes.

sae ends up giving you his puffy winter jacket while he braves the cold with whatever he has left. that’s fine, he’s strong. besides, getting to watch you wear his jacket the entire time feels like a bonus somehow.

he thinks by now you should confess already, but you don’t. you’re happy to stay in this bubble with him right now, whichever phase the two of you are at. so is he. it feels kind of nice.

feels especially nice when you hang onto him for dear life in the skating rink even though neither of you are moving. sae’s aware that people are staring holes into both of you but it’s strange how much he doesn’t mind when it’s with you. that’s why he holds his hands out, lets you take them, makes himself pull you along. he finds himself wishing neither of you were wearing gloves so he could feel how soft your hands are.

by the end of the day, everyone takes it that the both of you are together, even though the both of you are too avoidant to talk about it.

“hey, sae? thanks for today,” you say later that night when everything is done and you’d had the giddiest experience with sae. he’s walking you home and he doesn’t even know why; it’s a mystery to him why he keeps himself close whenever he can.

“it’s fine, i was the one who told people i was going with you, so.”

when he gets you to your front porch, you don’t go in immediately, standing right there with your back facing him, and sae wonders what’s going through your head. if only he could see the expression on your face right now, maybe he’d know.

you let him; because you turn around, giving him a big smile before you take a step forward and press a chaste kiss on his cheek, immediately turning on your heel and running into your house.

neither of you say bye, both of you are just a little too stunned to speak. sae stands out there in the cold for a little while longer, his face and ears red—he’s not even sure whether it’s from the weather or from you—but even when he starts to leave, you’re still slumped at your front door, covering your face in embarrassment, knees too weak to stand up.

there’s only one more quarter left until you graduate and sae and you both act like nothing happened that day. you still gossip unfiltered and he still listens but acts like he doesn’t.

except now instead of sitting across from you, he opts to sit directly beside you. sometimes sits a little too close just so your arms will brush against each other. sae also lets you keep his puffy jacket because you said you liked it.

you wear it throughout winter.

when graduation comes around and it’s time for sae to choose his university, he can’t help but take a peek at your screen. a smile comes to his face when he sees your first choice is the same as his. you’re smart too, he doesn’t doubt you’ll get in.

“itoshi sae, you can smile?”

sae immediately turns it into a frown. “guess not.”

you take your words back. “hey, i’m just kidding! it’s just rare… that’s all.”

so you notice him a lot then?

sure, you might not have seen him smile a lot. but that’s fine. from what sae knows, you have the entirety of your university years to possibly catch it.

UNIVERSITY: FRESHMAN YEAR

of course you enter the same university as itoshi sae. it’s not on purpose, but you’re glad you both made it here anyway.

at least knowing one friendly face is better than none.

to be honest, you’re not really sure where you and sae stand. he’s never said anything about that kiss, but he also doesn’t stay away from you. can you take that as a positive thing?

if anything, he’s even closer.

somehow, his dorms and yours are practically next door. when you open your bathroom window, you can look right into his. it happened once, by accident, and you’d caught him, shirtless with just a white towel hanging around his neck, hair damp as he brushes his teeth, the droplets of water on his abs looking very inviting.

but then he caught you staring and you’ve shut your bathroom window ever since. thankfully, he never mentions it.

being in university and staying in campus meant that you were both hanging out much more informally. and you’d think that two people at the age of nineteen who’d known each other for three years would be less awkward than this but it’s you and sae and somehow there’s always an element of awkwardness.

it’s halfway into your freshman year and you’d just watched the first match that sae’s playing for the university team. you’re a little starstruck, honestly. to think that the guy you’ve always had a crush on is this good at soccer.

he’s amazing. you’re feeling like a potato sack.

“hey, you know him right?” hime gushes.

your friends are with you, so it’s natural they ask.

mira on your left sighs, “guess we have no shot with him since he’s with y/n all the time,” she says, nudging you in the elbow.

you’re starting to regret bringing them here with all the teasing. you’re also regretting coming here yourself because you see several girls running to him asking for a picture together. some of which you recognise, some of which are the popular girls.

sae doesn’t stop them from snapping what they can, but he also doesn’t stop for them at all. instead, he saunters over to you, hime and mira wordlessly disappearing to the side.

“gimme that,” sae says, gesturing to the phone in your hand. you obey, of course, and he smirks, then he snaps a selfie with you before tossing your phone back and walking off.

the pairs of eyes on you make you half-embarrassed yet half-proud. even with this many fangirls, sae chooses to come to you.

that night sae asks you to send him the picture.

yeah, maybe you can take that as a positive thing.

freshman year after that is generally uneventful. you and sae are both trying to find your footing, with him preoccupied mostly with soccer trainings while you’re drowning in assignments and projects that have nothing to do with him.

but you still see him in the mornings sometimes, when you walk past your common room and he’s in his, and you wave at him when he’s alone so you’re not so shy, and he nods in acknowledgement before he just walks away.

one night while you’re burning the midnight oil trying to cram some accounting knowledge into your brain, you get a text from sae.

wanna get supper?

both of you end up at one of the supper spots outside of school, a little cosy shop that sells boba and ramen even after midnight.

“why’d you wanna get supper?”

sae shrugs, taking a sip of his plain water. “just bored, couldn’t sleep.”

“isn’t this soccer season? you can’t even eat anything in here, it’s definitely not passable for your diet.”

he sighs, leaning back against his chair. “so? quit whining and start eating your shit already.”

if it was some other guy you’d be rolling your eyes and storming off. but it’s sae and you know him and he thinks he’s talking normally like this. besides, when you catch his eyes flicker up to lock with yours you get a little dizzy inside.

“what’re you up so late for anyway?”

sae’s fingers are drumming lightly against the surface of the metal table, teal eyes diligently observing as you bring the strands of noodle to your lips. “told you, i couldn’t sleep.”

you find that strange; he’s always been able to sleep, no problem. and he’s strict about his eight hour sleep schedule. what could be getting to the great itoshi sae?

(sae’s lying through his teeth; having his bedroom right across from yours means he can see when your lights aren’t out. sue him for being a little concerned.)

“so, heard you and the team are going on a soccer trip somewhere in europe,” you bring up. you’d heard it from your friends, strangely, instead of sae himself.

he nods. “yeah, just a select few,” he tells you, “only if we win the tournament though, then the team’ll officially invite us over.”

so-called team you heard about is real madrid, and you’d be crazy to think that sae couldn’t help your university team win on his own.

“guess i won’t be seeing you around when you go,” you mumble idly, not completely aware of what you’re basically saying.

sae is adept at reading in between the lines, but he doesn’t probe you on it. he’s not sure he wants to. he doesn’t know what this is. do you still like him? does he like you too? all these feelings are new; sae doesn’t know what to do with it.

so he keeps it to himself. for now.

he doesn’t really do a good job at following through with it though, because on the day of the tournament finals, he looks at you and winks right as he orchestrates that winning goal for his team, and you’re left wondering if you’re imagining things.

UNIVERSITY: SOPHOMORE YEAR

the final part of your freshman year went and gone, and it didn’t go exactly how you imagined it to be. you didn’t expect to hear from sae at all when he went on his trip after that tournament.

but you did.

he replied you whenever he had the time. told you anything you asked for. even called you when you had a mini meltdown because of finals.

to be frank, you don’t know what the both of you are anymore. you’re cursing yourself for being too scared to ask.

“hey y/n, have you seen hime anywhere?”

it’s oliver asking, captain of the university’s soccer team and also hime’s current situationship. he’d started hitting her up since that first time sae played and brought attention to you and the people around you.

“yeah, she’s by the pool with mira.”

oliver leaves as soon as you tell him, and you stand awkwardly at the corner of the living room, by the full panel of glass windows, wondering if you should just go home. you’d only came because hime and mira both said you needed to experience a party at least once this year but now you’re surrounded by people making out and drunkards slipping into the pool that it makes you regret giving this a shot at all.

especially since sae’s not going to be back till tomorrow, garnering as much interest as he did during his time in spain. you really have no reason to be here.

“hey there, pretty.”

startled, you find a familiar face up close in your personal space, his finger twirling your hair. you’d recognise that head of blonde and pink anywhere.

“oh, you’re ryusei shido right? you’re on the soccer team with sae,” you think out loud, and he nods, and you can see his blonde lashes so closely it’s making you flustered.

“mhm, fwhat’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone in a corner? seems like a shame,” he comments, though he doesn’t even give you a chance to answer. the next thing you know, shido drags you into a drinking game with hime and mira (which is why your first instinct wasn’t to run off, if you could trust anyone it’s your best friends). although, shido is getting annoyingly close and you can’t decide if you’re nervous or annoyed.

and the heavens surely love you when they let shido draw the card that corresponds to a dare, and they love testing your boundaries when some guy called otoya dares him to kiss you.

but no, you know that the heavens really do love you when someone yanks shido’s hair back and pulls him away from your face, taking his spot in between the both of you in the bid for proximity that you don’t mind because it’s itoshi sae.

“sae, what’re you doing here? i thought you wouldn’t be back till tomorrow,” you ask, a little shell-shocked but you still notice he’s discerning frown and how there’s barely any space between the two of you.

he looks at you, tilting his head, “what? my girl’s not happy to see me here?”

you don’t respond. half because you think you’re dreaming and fuck—really, did he just call you his girl?

“eh? i don’t recall you having a girlfriend?” shido leers, a hand on the spot of his head where sae had pulled on earlier.

“yeah, besides, shido still has to do the dare.” otoya sounds bored more than anything, but the guy beside him, karasu, if you remember correctly, is smirking.

sae sighs, and you feel like you must’ve crossed the boundary to another dimension when you feel sae’s lips on yours, and you think you’re in limbo when you feel his hand on your neck, pulling you close. his tongue pries your lips apart and people are whistling while shido’s behind him saying get a fucking room or i’ll beat off to this.

when the object of your affection finally pulls away, you’re met with the same pair of unbothered teal eyes, the pair that immediately turns to face otoya. “there, did it for him. now move on.”

you’re beginning to thank alcohol for its existence when almost everyone obeys wordlessly, moving on to some other guy’s turn. you really can’t remember who sits on shido’s right when all you can think of is that itoshi sae, your longtime high school crush, actually kissed you.

that’s enough to warrant the question, right? the question of what sae takes you for?

the inner debate sparks long into the night, even when sae walks you back to your apartment, the both of you side by side in silence.

“sae, what was that?”

he plays coy. “what was what?”

you’re only a little tipsy, so you can still tolerate his avoidance. “you confuse me a lot, you know that?”

sae doesn’t take the bait. “oh, i see.”

“you were jealous.” he was. he really was. you can tell; he was sour to shido the entire night. he stuck close to you too, sometimes your fingers brushed against each other’s.

“so what if i was?”

this one is new. sae’s actually admitting it. and usually you’d chicken out but you can see your apartment coming into view and you don’t want to let this go.

“what am i to you, sae?” you manage to choke it out a few feet away from the door, and sae stops in his tracks, hands in his pocket and teal eyes looking heavenward.

you’re beginning to regret your decision to ask; you’re not sure if his indecision is a good or bad thing. nothing seems to be simple when it comes to itoshi sae.

but he does nothing to appease your confusion when he steps in front of you, his body pressed flush against yours as he presses another kiss to your lips, and you think this one is special because it’s not done in the name of a dare or in front of anyone else. this kiss is for you and you alone and sae is doing this on purpose.

when he pulls back, you see him furrow his brows and you can tell that maybe he’s just as confused as you are.

“when i managed to get an earlier slot for my flight, all i could think about was how excited i was to see you.”

is this… a confession? you’re even more confused now that you don’t even know what to say.

to be honest, so is sae, which is why he swallows the lump in his throat and relegates to his apartment, “goodnight.”

things after that change just a little.

you’d decided to go with the flow, just because you really don’t want to sabotage whatever friendship you and sae had left, although most of the time, sae is the one toeing the line. even though he doesn’t outright tell you anything regarding his feelings.

but you think you figured him out.

sae asks you out whenever you’re both free, and not for shit like studying or errands, but for movies and dinner and he drives you around in his car and looks at you like you’re the only girl he sees. his eyes don’t wander when he’s with you, and he lets you wear even more of his jackets. it’s also evolved to his jerseys and his beloved windbreakers. you have one of each in your own closet and he never seems to ask for them back anymore. he also lets you wear his rings, puts them on your fingers randomly.

both of you still go for parties, especially when it’s one of the soccer guys who are throwing it, because they practically force sae to go and they know you’re the key to convincing him.

most of the time the two of you just laze on the couch, drinking and talking about nothing at all, and he idly plays with your fingers when he’s tipsy, something you never tell him because you like it, because you don’t want him to feel self-conscious and stop. he also smells your hair after he sends you home and hugs you before he retreats to his place, and you wonder if he’s fully sober when he does that.

you resign to getting your answer some other time, because you don’t want anything to ruin this, if this is just an illusion. yeah, you’d talking feelings some other time.

UNIVERSITY: JUNIOR YEAR

you really had no right to be, but you are. try as you might, you can’t stop yourself from feeling the way you do. especially not when she’s sitting so so close to him, when her hand brushes his fingers.

she’s just his project partner, nothing more, but something irks you about the way she can get so close to him so quickly when it took you much longer. but then you hear from shido that kaori is rin and sae’s childhood friend, so maybe that’s why they’re so damn close.

apparently, she’d gotten back to japan after ten years abroad. with great timing too, right when you thought you and sae could amount to something.

“you know, i could help you make him jealous if you wanna,” shido whispers in your ear one time when he catches you staring at them. “we’ll make him feel how you feel, m’kay?”

and while that’s tempting, you shake your head. it’s unreasonable for you to take it out on him that way, not when he hasn’t actually done anything that proves he’s just leading you on.

lately sae’s been so busy around kaori that you’re just thinking too much. you’re wondering if he’s slowly replacing you. he still talks to you over text, but you barely hang out like you did before. you still spot him through the windows, but he’s always too tired to notice you. even his texts are getting slower.

“hey, you okay?”

trust it to hime to notice your personal dilemma. you’re not really surprised though, because she’s been watching you moping for the last few weeks. she now has oliver wrapped fully around her finger, with him sticking around her all the time, which is a surprise considering his reputation.

but hime will take your side, you know this, and maybe that’s why you play it off. you don’t want her to hate sae because of a momentary feeling, so you tell her you’re just sick and you’ll go back home.

the moment you get back to your apartment, you see sae waiting out on the front, car ready while he leans against the hood, waiting.

and you might’ve asked if he was waiting for kaori, but then he looks up and sees you and smirks and that’s all you need to know that he’s not. he was waiting for you, and now he’s opening the passenger side door and telling you to “get in, stupid.”

that’s how sae is with you, impromptu and surprisingly sweet. he drives you to the pier, a cute spot right next to an amusement park where he’d gotten you some candy floss before the both of you just sits on the hood of his car, enjoying the scenery.

“why’d you suddenly bring me here?”

sae lies down, the sun hitting his face in all the right places. he’s gorgeous, you realise for what seems like the thousandth time since you’d known him.

“oliver told me you’d been a little mopey lately,” sae says, and you’re already embarrassed. “sorry if i’ve been busy lately.”

you mirror his position, lying down next to him, and it feels oddly nice like this. you’re not sure if it’s the situation or the person.

“it’s okay, i heard that kaori’s your old friend right? you guys must have a lot to catch up on.” it doesn’t stop you from feeling jealous, but it’ll pass. you hope.

sae chuckles before he turns to you, and you turn to face him too, “you’re jealous.” he smirks, and you’re reminded of the same thing you told him that first night he kissed you.

“shut up, sae.”

he laughs because you’re being pouty, and because maybe it feels a little nice to know you can feel it too. just then, he mirrors what you did way back in high school, reaching across you for your phone. except he doesn’t key in anything—he opens up your camera and takes a picture of the two of you like this, sae looking naturally handsome and better than you because you’re stunned he’s doing this, eyes wide and expression puzzled.

“what’s that for?”

sae’s still fiddling on your phone as you ask, and then he passes it back to you. he’d set it as your phone’s wallpaper.

“to remind you that you’re the one i like, idiot.”

and even though you and sae aren’t physically too close in the wallpaper, you think maybe it’s enough to tide your feelings through for now. he doesn’t ask you for anything else after that, just leaves his confession at that and sends you home before saying he has to finish up his project, aka going to find kaori.

it’s fine by you though, because now you know where sae’s head’s at, even though he never explicitly asked you anything. you’re sure he knows how you feel too, especially since you’d been the one to kiss him first that day a few years back.

but how apt for you to go to sleep early and be woken up by dozens of messages blowing up your phone, the majority of them attaching pictures at a certain party.

still pictures of sae locking lips with kaori, and you feel your heart sinking.

sae’s message comes through just as you’re scrolling through your phone.

meet me at my place? not what it looks like, i promise.

and maybe it’s because you feel like you know sae well enough that you’re not even panicking. you respond within seconds.

sure, see you!

you take the liberty of going next door, entering when one of the other guys who lives there clumsily walks in drunk. it’s easy enough to find sae’s room, you recognise it from across your own room too well. and maybe it’s a slight invasion of privacy but you can’t help but turn your attention to his desk.

his room is all neat with the occasional laundry thrown on the corner of the room, trophies and medals on the bookshelf by the table. but what catches your eye is the little pink heart-shaped post-it note that looks all too familiar.

your handwriting fills the piece of paper.

i think you’re cute and i really really like you

you could cringe right now from how cringe you were being back then. but then you realise, sae kept this? did he keep this knowing it was from you? you hear the door opening downstairs and jump back a little, accidentally pressing on his keyboard while trying to place your note back in its position, and the screensaver that greets you renders you speechless.

it’s the picture sae took of the both of you at the bleachers of his first match.

someone closes the laptop before you can think any more, and you’re greeted with sae right next to you, cheeks flushed—either from alcohol or embarrassment. you can’t really tell, but judging from the lack of alcohol stench, you’d like to bet it’s the latter.

“you have me as your wallpaper?”

sae clicks his tongue, annoyed he didn’t get there in time for you not to see that. “who else would i put there?”

you bite your tongue to stop yourself from instinctively saying kaori out of spite. guess you’re still a little groggy from being woken up in the middle of the night.

“about earlier,” sae begins, not really sure how to continue.

“you mean the pics going around of you and kaori kissing?” you’re not even mad, you’re sure there’s an explanation—that’s how much you feel you know itoshi sae. he’s not the type to bother with leading someone on; if anything, he’s probably the type to immediately cut things off if he wasn’t interested and so far, he’s always been thinking of you.

sae sighs, rubbing his temple before taking a seat on his bed. “that was fucking stupid,” he grumbles, eyes closed. “she was way too tipsy and getting all up in my face and before i knew it she just—” his eyes are open now, briefly looking at you before looking away, hiding behind the sides of his soft locks, “she kissed me. i was stunned for a little so…”

you snicker a little, because sae looks so different from how he usually looks—aloof, ignorant, arrogant. now he looks like a puppy who’s been kicked to the side and you can’t help but notice the difference.

“sae… why are you telling me this?”

screw his indecisiveness, if it was in the first place. you want his answer now, up straight. and sae seems to know what you’re thinking because he chuckles, relieved because he can read your tone—you’re not angry, not upset, you trust him somehow and it’s only because despite what you think, you know him better than anyone else.

“fuck off, y/n, you already know,” and he says this affectionately because you can feel the tenderness in the way he says your name, in the way he invites you into his arms—the way he pulls you close and lets you sit facing him on his lap. “you gonna be my girlfriend now or what?”

your lips are so so close and you’re both holding back so so much. “mmm i don’t know, itoshi sae, what if i wanna see you beg me for it?”

“god, i hate you,” he says, without meaning it. it’s the first time you’re actually feeling how strong he is, because he lifts you up from the back of your thighs and throws you on his bed as he hovers over you, a little squeal leaving your lips at the unexpected gesture. “hm, kinda like that sound you make.”

he’s saying it so monotonously that you’re embarrassed. “shut up, sae, before i leave.”

“that’s cute, you think you’d actually leave me,” he teases, and you curse yourself for finding that slight condescending tone of his hot. “but hey, really, be my girlfriend.”

“you asking me that after kissing another girl?” you act shocked, acutely aware of how his fingers are all intertwining with yours, your hands on either side of your head, sae pinning you down. if anyone walked in now, they’d get the wrong idea of what you two are doing. for sure. but you try to act unbothered, you don’t want to boost his ego even more.

sae leans down to press his forehead against yours, and you’re hoping your heart doesn’t leap out of your chest because he’d definitely feel it. “shit timing, i know. but you’re the only one i want, so.”

he’s pretty shit at talking emotions, you realise. and then you realise that this only works because you’re equally good at reading his. despite his reluctance to talk emotions, he shows you how special you are, constantly.

many girls want him, but you’re the one he spends most of his time with. you’re the one with his actual clothes in your closet and his rings on your fingers. you’re the one sae kisses and willingly so, the only one who’s on his wallpaper reminding him of what he’ll have each time he comes home.

“i told kaori i liked you and no one else too,” sae continues explaining, though he really doesn’t need to. you listen anyway. “she got mad and stormed off but shit, i don’t care. only care about you.”

and he’s pretty forthcoming with his feelings when he wants to be and that’s enough for you. you squeeze his fingers lightly and smile at him.

you don’t have to hear any more to know.

“i love you too, itoshi sae.”

the way he marks you that night lets you in on everything you need to know.

UNIVERSITY: SENIOR YEAR

six years.

it’s been six years since you’d first had a crush on itoshi sae. and now you’re his girlfriend, always in the front row for every match and the object of most of his fangirls’ hatred. that’s okay though, none of that matters.

whenever you come back home to your (shared) apartment now, it’s like all your worries melt away into the void, and sae reminds you just how much you mean. even if his pet names are less than swoon-worthy at times.

“you really need to stop posting shit like this,” you deadpan, showing sae your phone screen. it’s a picture of you asleep in the morning, drooling on his bare shoulder.

sae blinks, acting coy like he always does. “what? it’s cute.”

“you’re insufferable, itoshi.”

sae ignores that, switching the subject. “hey, you have any goals for your twenties?”

you hum, pondering. “well, i guess if i could do what i want, i’d travel the world,” you pause, sitting up on the sofa and looking at him. “why?”

it’s the last year of university, and the both of you are finishing your degrees, with the possibility that sae might be getting a contract with one of the overseas clubs. you’re not really sure; there’s a few of them who’ve expressed interest, but you’d always let sae think through it on his own.

does his question have something to do with that?

“was thinking i wanted to take you along if you wanted to come with,” sae half explains, because he’s bad with details like that. he continues when he spots your confusion, “if you wanted to explore wherever i decided to go.”

oh, he means he wants to take you along to wherever he decided to go. you’re flattered, honestly.

“you mean, the itoshi sae wants to bring me wherever he goes, huh?” sae is already turning red, sensing your big head. “you offering to be my sugar daddy too?”

sae sighs. “you’re so stupid, i swear,” he complains, his words lacking any bite because he’s rubbing circles onto your arms. “you said you found some remote jobs right? thought we could make use of that and just go wherever together.”

after six years, you finally see sae trying to plan a future where the both of you are together. he loves soccer, but he loves you too, and you’re not the kind of person who’d make him choose, so you appreciate his compromises instead.

“itoshi sae, i’ll follow you wherever you go.”

he presses a hasty kiss on your lips, “good, ‘cause i plan on keeping you forever.”

you grin, pulling him down to you and kissing him even deeper, “i’ll hold you to your words, then.”

sae smiles against your lips. because he knows he got lucky with you, lucky you were there at the right moment, slipping your love letter into his locker. lucky you continued to like him, lucky you knew how to put him in his place whenever. lucky you’re you and you love him.

maybe he’s always liked you, even back in freshman year of high school when he realised how kind you are, how gentle you could be. you looked pretty in the sun that day, when he first saw you trying out soccer in the yard and falling flat on your ass. you didn’t notice him back then but he noticed you, not that you knew. sae didn’t try anything because he was sure it’d fail. but who knew all it took for his mind to change was a simple nudge from you?

he’s pretty sure that you’re his human manifestation of a forever.

“when the time comes, just say yes.”

now let's talk about atsumu's stamina

bokuto being really sensitive during blowjobs and he jerks up into your mouth making you gAG and he feels really bad about it - but its so good so hes just apologizing while fucking your face

hnnnnh;

— throat fucking + hurt/comfort + spit + mentions of pain + minor cum play + gn! reader

you didn’t mean to- he’s sensitive and you know that, but the single sweep- just a swipe of the tip of your tongue over the ridge of skin right below his swollen and almost purpling head of his cock makes him see stars.

his hands instinctively shoot down and grab your hair, grabs your head with heated and shaky fingers- gasping as a loud moan leaves his throat-

“oh!” he grumbles, tossing his head back, “feels good!”

bokuto is weak, weak to your sinful mouth and consequently bucks up into it- clenching tummy seizing up as he feels you gag, there’s a tiny part of him that enjoys how you sound right now, but with an open mouth; he apologizes reverently.

“sorry... fuck i’m so sorry angel.”

and while he is, truly is, he can’t help the quick thrusting he gives you, feeling you jerk, feeling strings of warm spit trickle out of your mouth.

your fingers dig into the muscle of his thighs so hard there’s surely going to be welts tomorrow. it’s lewd- the sound of his fat cock splitting your mouth open and his heavy fat balls also slapping up, knocking into your chin.

he can hear and fucking feel the surprised whimpers that leave you, he’s taken liberty in using your face to cum- youre nearly limp inbetween his palms and he can’t help it. he knows his cock is fat- knows he should be more gentle but he likes the way your seizing, clenching throat feels around him.

there’s words of apology just tumbling from his lips, but you can’t hear over the rush of blood to your face- trying your hardest not to pass out in a moment like this, you wanted to comfort him- but couldn’t.

“sorry. i’m so sorry.” bokuto pants, lost in it all- his golden eyes are wide, roaming the ceiling before he looks down at you- pinched eyebrows, tears rolling down your face, tresses of your hair caught between his fingers, spit bubbles foaming in the corners of your poor lips.

it does him in, quickening his shallow breathing as he tenses up, bringing your head down- nose smushing against his pubes as he cums hotly, swelling in your mouth, cuming so violently thanks to you- that it seeps up and past the clenching of your throat, costing his cock and smearing out at the base of where your lips end and his pubes begin.

once he’s done, and calmed down, brought back to earth- he gently takes his softening cock out of your mouth, letting you sputter, hand coming down to pat your back, another wiping tears away.

“sorry baby, my angel- i’m so sorry.” koutarou coos, but with the glazed look you give him; he knows it’s okay, knows because you smile, cum and spit stained lips stretching out into a shaky smile and nod, a silent dismissal of his worries.

you loved being used like this.

𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄.

sakura, ume, suo, kaji, kiryu, endo, togame.

"ever imagined how it'd be like to be in the mood with them but damn it. You're separated by distance? Mhm. I got just the thing for you."

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: PHONE SEGGS UH OH!, language language swearing swearing, AFAB!reader, ume switchy :o, endo's a fucking menace :((((, TOGAMMMMEEEEEEE *howls!!!!! barks foaming at the mouth*, toy usage, your man straight up “jorking it” and by it haha well lets justr say his peanits, degradation on endo's part--general seggsy time stuff and needy boyfriends, NSFW STUFF MINORS DON’T INTERACT PLS.

𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐀.

✦ gotta guide him through it. At first, he didn’t really see the appeal of it. Why do it over the phone when you could meet up instead. ✦ but OH once he’s in the zone though, ONCE HE UNDERSTANDS? SEES THE LIGHT????? I’m wishing your pussy good luck because you’re doing it often. ✦ your phone rings sometimes at 2 am and you’re met with a panting Sakura. He sounds so apologetic too — he’s fought against calling you and just handling it himself. But he couldn’t help it. He has to call you. To hear you. ✦ “Strokin’ my cock right now. F-fuck m’sorry but can ya touch yourself for me too? Couldn’t get ya outta my head and I—ngh.. Need t’cum. Please, baby. It’ll be quick. Promise.” ✦ narrator’s voice: it was in fact, not quick at all. ✦ he likes sending over voicemails at night when he knows you're alone, when he's needy (which is often). ✦ it's mostly just of him panting into the receiver, recalling the events of the day and how each thing you did turned him on. You often end up sending each other voicemails to quench the thirst but god damn it. That doesn't come close to fucking.

𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐘𝐀.

✦ another one of the ":o I don't see the appeal of phone sex when we could just see each other instead?" gang. He sees the vision real quick when you dropped something while you were talking though. You bent down to pick it up and let out a soft grunt. He couldn't stop his mind from wandering. ✦ BIG ON PRAISE. GRUNTS AND SIGHS INTO THE RECIEVER LIKE HIS LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. LOVES DOING IT WHILE HE'S LAYING DOWN, PANTS HURRIEDLY UNBUCKLED AND MESSY, SHIRT HAPHAZARDLY THROWN TO THE SIDE. PHONE WEDGED IN BETWEEN HIS CHEEK AND SHOULDER WHILE HE STARTS STROKING WITH ONE HAND AND THE OTHER TANGLED IN HIS HAIR, GRIPPING IT LIKE YOU WOULD--(gets dragged off stage kicking and screaming) ✦ big switch. He's Umemiya, after all. He's the feared and respected leader of the Bofurin for a damn reason. Very sweet when he's just in the mood on a random day, chuckling in between because that's just how the both of you are. It's fun! But when he hasn't seen you for a couple of days? Oh FUCK. When his voice would normally grow soft and whiney, has morphed into growled responses with him fucking his fist desperately, trying to remember how your cunt would swallow him whole. ✦ "G-Good girl, my good fuckin' girl. Filling your pussy up with that dildo you bought? Not good enough, huh?" he adds, grunting as he's imagining you fucking yourself with the dildo, panting and unsatisfied, knowing full well you need him filling you up instead. "I really miss you, babe. You'd look so pretty-gh-! Underneath me right now. So pretty." ✦ cums hard every time you're on call, grunting and wheezing out your name so desperately you almost feel like he's trying to summon you somehow. ✦ Thanks you for it too. It's cute!!! Ends with both of you cleaning yourselves up, still on call. You both often fall asleep together with your phones still on.

𝐒𝐔𝐎.

✦ you both call often. He just loves hearing your voice! Thing is, you never know when he's in the mood. But he somehow can tell whenever you are. What gave it away? Was it the way your breathing stilled when he let out a sigh when he stretched? Was it the way you tripped over your words when he lowered his voice just a tad? Was it when you were left speechless when he praised you for finishing a task you were putting off? Was his teasing working on you? Whoopsies. ✦ INSTRUCTIONAL WITH IT. He’s so good at directing you what to do. ✦ “Want you to imagine my fingers, dove. Why don’t you ease just two in for me? That’s my girl. Now curl them up a little. Keep your mind on me." ✦ you want him to feel good too :(((((( so you ask for him to do the same as you. Of course, he lets you beg a little first. Little did you know he was already fucking his fist before you even started. ✦ has one of your clothes or panties close by because he loves smelling them. He loves your scent. It helps him get off. Hell, he gets horny in public when he takes a whiff of your perfume. ✦ he gets more vocal when he cums and that’s when you KNOW for sure he’s jacking off while listening to you. String of expletives and grunts escape his lips while he spills onto his hand, dribbling down his knuckles while you’re riding out your high.

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐓.

𝐊𝐀𝐉𝐈.

✦ FILTHY. FILTHY. FILTHY. ✦ doesn't have much toys but he has a tenga flip and uses it whenever he calls you. Can’t just go full hand and lube. (Probably has a warmer for it too. Mhm. Yeah.) ✦ another "clothes stealer". Has stolen your panties and shirts a couple of times. ✦ you can hear the wet squelching through the phone whenever he thrusts. Whether it’s lube or his cum, you could never ever tell. ✦ AGAIN, FILTHY. SO SO SO SO FILTHY. ✦ “y’getting off to this, huh? Listening to me fuck my toy? Fuckin’ know you’re soaking wet for me now. Lemme hear it. Lemme hear my pussy.” ✦ “keep up with me. Don’t you fuckin’ cum until I say so.” He barks, but he ends up cumming before you. He’s still pumping his sensitive cock waaay after he’s released though. He wants to hear you fall apart. ✦ bites back his whimpers but when he cums? Jesus. He’s stuttering out your name, repeating it like a damn prayer.

𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐘𝐔.

✦ HAS SO MUCH TOYS HOLY FUCK. ✦ he sends over photos of them before he calls, wanting you (yes YOU, dear reader!) to pick the toy of the night!!! ✦ he’d much prefer doing your mutual masturbation over facetime but you suggested a voice call. Who is he to deny his princess? ✦ always opens with a syrupy sweet, “How’s my baby?” and eases you into it with him. He never starts without you or without your express approval. If you’re suddenly not in the mood, he gets it. It happens sometimes. You guys could just talk instead. ✦ praise praise praise. Whispers the raunchiest and sweetest things to you. Talks you through it, guides you. HE’S WAY TOO GOOD. ✦ “Need my pretty princess right now. Need ya to sit on my face—taste so good. Fuck… Your pretty little moans too. I’m addicted.” ✦ “Remember when I did that thing you liked with my tongue? Yeah? Want you to do that on your clit with your fingers. Circle around it f’me, princess. Mhm.. Oh? Not good enough? Need my piercing on it? Naughty.” ✦ PORNOGRAPHIC MOANS. SO FUCKING PRETTY??? You’ve asked for his permission to record some of them. Of course he lets you. ✦ sends photos of the aftermath if you want him to. His cum on his still clenched abs, his trimmed happy trail, over his belly button piercing. Yum. ✦ HAS DEFINITELY POSTED ON GWA YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.(it’s JOI too :(((( he’s secretly dedicated some audios for you. May or may not have accidentally whispered your name in one of his jerk off with me audios too :(((((((( man I’m sobbing into my pillow. Nobody touch me.)

𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐎.

✦ you can’t look at this man and say he’s shit at phone sex. You can’t convince me otherwise. You just can’t. ✦ of course, he’s absolutely cracked at talking dirty to you. It’s always a mix of praise and degradation with him. ✦ he’d be happy if you just sent him nudes, really. But he’s over the moon once you suggested to do it over a call. Immediately is palming his hard on through his jeans while he’s waiting for you to pick up. Opens with a casual little, “hey, honey,” you wouldn’t know he’s practically going to town on his cock, hot to go. ✦ with how sweet he could be to you, he could be so, so fucking mean too. ✦ “My, my. That was such a pretty sound you just made. Wanna do that again for me? Wanna hear my pretty little cockslut begging for me while I fuck my fist. Yeaaah, just like that. Louder.” ✦ the type to send in voicemails at random times of the day. You know they’re exclusively for you since he’s practically chanting out your name while he fucks himself. You’ve made the mistake (plenty of times) of listening to some of them in public. Thank god your phone wasn’t on full volume but people definitely heard your boyfriend fucking his fist. ✦ you put him in his place when you get home by tying him down to the bed and edging him to hell and back and back again and back again and back again and—

𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄.

✦ THIS MANNN…. He knows how to use his voice. He KNOWS HOW TO USE HIS VOICE SOMEONE HOLD ME THE FUCK BACK— ✦ he really doesn't like texting. So you both often call each other at the end of the day when you're apart. You're often apart too, with work and with it taking you to different cities. He's home alone at your apartment with your pets, with your clothes beside him on the couch. See where this is going? :-)) ✦ "Miss ya. Fuck, I really miss ya. Even the cats miss yer constant yappin'-" he teases and he's palming his cock through his gray sweatpants when he hears you shoot a clever quip at him. "Mhh-doll, I really do fuckin' miss ya. Especially when we wake up in the mornin'? Yeah. When ya press yer ass up against me, miss how ya know how to touch me just right-" "Jo, are you touching yourself right now?" he has the gall to chuckle. "Wanna see?" He was so ready to switch to facetime, to show you how he's lazily dragging his fingers up and down his throbbing cock, gray sweatpants pulled down just enough to pull it out. But you wanna stay on the call. You're rushing to your bed, hand in your shorts as soon as you lay down. ✦ likes dirty talking. LOVES when you talk dirty to him back. He's whispering phrases like, "mhm, yeah?", "what do ya want me t'do to ya when you get back?", "what else, angel?" prodding you on, urging you to express your deepest desires to him because he's NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY. (He knows you're as eager as he is too) ✦ wants to cum with you so he edges himself until you say you're almost there. Wants to match your pace and tries to by listening to your breathing, the rhythm of your moans. Never fails to tell you he loves you after he cums. ✦ promises a huge surprise for you when you get back :-)

a/n: THESE WERE SO FUCKING FUN TO DO RRRRAAAAAHHHHHHHHHRHRHR!!!!!!!!!!!!! *insert werewolf ripping clothes open meme here* I hope you guys like it. The brainworms are wriggling mighty strong.

lmaooooo

I think in response to Twitter, Tumblr should make it so that you can't open any other apps on your phone until you've seen at least 600 posts for the day.

mmmmmhm beach sex with the hq boys 😣 i would like to see it

— contains. atsumu, osamu, sakusa & oikawa x f!reader

— warnings. public sex, exhibitionism, the word bitch is used bc it’s atsumu so yeah

— a/n. requests r closed but... hmph was feeling this bc of the at**mu picture,, not proofread bc am tired

atsumu is desperate like always, tangling the string of your bikini in a knot much to his frustration. “baby, i can’t do it!” he complains, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he glances around the almost empty beach.

there’s an elderly couple facing the sea, but it’s evening and everyone in the resort has most likely gone up for dinner. but not you, no, of course not you. because your boyfriend, so badly wants to tick off ‘fucking his girlfriend against a palm tree’ on his bucket list.

easily, you untie them and just like that atsumu switches, cock deep in your cunt and a hand braced against the tree in hopes of steadying himself and his thrusts. “that’s right, take that shit.” he groans, “little cunt is so greedy,” he mumbles, roughly groping your tit and letting out a rumbling growl in your ear. “bet my little bitch wants to get caught like this, caught with her cunt out for me.”

sunglasses low on his nose, osamu watches as you run towards him. rivulets of water running down the front of your body, it causes your body to shimmer in the sunlight like some dewy-skinned water nymph. “‘samu,” you say, nearing your boyfriend who lays back on his deckchair under an umbrella. “you not gonna get in?”

he shakes his head, sitting up and adjusting the chair until it’s upright along with him. “c’mere, baby, i gotta tell ya somethin’,” osamu tells you, patting his lap to which you take a seat in, curious to know what he’s going to say. all you get is the feeling off his cock pressed between your ass cheeks and a soft chuckle at the surprise on your face. “yer gonna help me get off, yeah? gonna let me cum inside ya pretty cunt, yeah, baby?”

kiyoomi isn’t very fond of the beach. he sticks to the deckchair, deciding to observe you from afar. he starts to worry when throughout the day, the heat only increases and you don’t seem to have enough sunscreen on. and so he calls you over, lays you down and helps you apply the lotion all over your back and thighs. “cold,” you squeak, giggling at the ticklish feeling of his hands rubbing the cream into your skin.

“i know, bear with me, love.” kiyoomi can’t help the sweet smile that creeps onto his face at the sound of your laughter. he also can’t help the temptation of slipping aside your bikini bottom and taking a good look at your glistening pussy. his breath is laboured, you’re arching your back, “can i, my love? can i touch you?” he asks in a whisper, “no one can see us over here.”

“please, yoomi,” you whine, shivering when his cold fingertips come into contact with your cunt, spreading apart your lips just to toy with your pulsing clit. the rush of being caught drives you on, causes kiyoomi to be harder and quicker and rougher.

“that was great, princess!” tōru cheers, clapping when you finally manage to hit the ball back over the net. he’s momentarily distracted by the way your tits bounce in the brand new bikini you wear, a tiny little thing which is barely holding anything in.

it’s no surprise to you, when later, as the sunsets and the once bustling beach becomes empty, he has you on your knees in the sand. tōru’s fat cock ramming into your slippery cunt, one big hand on your tit, still toying with the strap of your bikini top in fascination. “you looked so slutty i couldn’t help myself, princess. i can’t handle it when you do this to me,” tōru croons, “makes me want to fuck you in front of everyone, let everyone know who’s princess you are.”

a few pushes

paring: sakusa kiyoomi x fem reader

warnings: baby trapping, breeding kink, unprotected sex, manipulative sakusa, car sex, semi public sex, controlling behavior, possessiveness, jealousy, sakusa wants more, sexting, shower sex, abandonment issues, lack of communication, starstruck reader, nice reader meets evil & toxic sakusa

word count: 3.3k

english is not my first language. please excuse any mistakes

Because Sakusa was a clean person, when he decided to have a fuck buddy, he carefully handpicked one and stuck with one only. 

Locker room talk was always loud, but much louder these days with Hinata joining the team. Miya loved attentive listeners, Bokuto obviously wasn’t one. Sakusa couldn’t help but hear it one day when the blond setter was giving out tips on how to relieve stress after a long day and said sex was the best way. 

“Muscles? Relaxed,” Atsumu said, directly to Hinata, but all eyes were on him anyway considering how loud he was. “And imagine you lost a match.” The blond man hurriedly put one finger up before continuing, “I’m not jinxing anything. What I’m saying is–it’s just a way to–let the frustration out, you know? It works.”

Did it really? Sakusa doubted, recalling his first time with a childhood friend whom he soon fell out of touch with after and didn’t remember being relaxed nor fulfilled, only rushed and clumsy. Yet, that was years ago. What was life if not trying again and again to one’s utmost?

He thought of Atsumu's words, then he thought of you. 

You were this one girl from Itachiyama Institute who wasn't in the same class as him but went to every game Sakusa played. It was safe to say you were his fan after overhearing you talking to someone in the library when he was trying to find the right material for his homework. 

“Who’s your favorite player?” a voice asked. “Mine is the captain.” 

“Iizuna?” you countered. 

“That’s his name? I don’t know, I only watched one game.” The voice giggled.

“Mine’s the ace. Sakusa Kiyoomi” 

Your answer made his wandering eyes halt before moving with their own volition from the spines of the books to the source of that response. He saw you for the first time that day. And every time after that. 

—

A normal occurrence was what you were. You were just there, respectful enough to never get close, never even tried. Sakusa’s brain registered your existence as a diluted consistency, not on the forefront of his mind but vivid enough to make him miss several receives in an important match when you didn’t show up. 

Sakusa scowled when he saw you at the next day’s match, having a mask on and trying your best to hold the coughs in. Half of his heart labeled you as a danger to society but the impulse to grab your shoulders and shake you was stronger, driving him to approach you for the first time after seeing you that day in the library two years ago. 

He had a mask on, hands in his jacket’s pockets. “God forbid people get their annual flu shot.”

You quickly retreated when he kept advancing, confusion shown clear as day on your face. “What?” 

What, indeed. Despite being in the same year, your paths rarely crossed. You never dreamed that one day you would get to talk to the curly-haired ace in person, let alone about a flu vaccine. And if someone had told you Sakusa would ask you to be his exclusively fuck buddy sometime in the near future, your brows would have furrowed for the rest of the day.  

College separated you both, connected again when you met his cousin, Komori, by chance and he told you Sakusa just joined MSBY Black Jackal and became a professional player. You wouldn’t miss seeing him on the court again for the world, so you went to the next game instead of working on your dissertation.  

The black, abyss-like eyes found yours not even fifteen minutes into the first set. They, however, never returned again throughout the game. For a second you thought he did not remember you, but when you lined up with other people for his signature and he got hold of the MSBY mascot plush merch you bought, he signed his name down and said, “Give me your phone.”

Like sorcery, you handed him what he asked. 

“Password,” he demanded curtly, and you gave him everything. The kid queuing after you sneaked his glance not so subtly, must have wondered why it took so long. 

He returned your phone after putting his number in and called out to get yours then moved on to the kid behind you without a word. 

It was like that with Sakusa, either it was the highschool him telling you to put your hands out so he could spray the hand sanitizer on or the current him texting you his game schedules and telling you to come, it was all the same—he never had to give reasons and you never needed them. 

You liked him, sure. Respected him, absolutely. More than that, you hoped he got everything he wanted, wished him nothing but the best. But the thing was you never really knew what he desired, had no clue how deep those pools of blackness that were his eyes ran and what lay beneath. You just said yes when he asked if he could pick you up because he wanted to talk to you about something, yes again when he asked you to kiss him, to be the one who crossed the boundary and made the first move. 

Surrounded by the quiet of his apartment’s parking lot late at night, Sakusa sat behind the wheel and waited for you to lean over the center console, eyes tracking every movement. When he felt the gentle brush of your lips on his, he went still and kept his lips closed, extra secured.

“Use your tongue.”

“But you—”

“Try harder then,” he said, almost taunting. “Coax me open.” 

And you tried, you swore you tried, to learn that all it took was you giving up and drawing back to finally make him open his mouth and snatch you by the nape of your neck to receive his kiss. All tongue and teeth… with a soft chuckle. 

At one point, you heard a faint honk and realized it was your back that touched the car horn. Sitting in Sakusa’s lap in the driver’s seat, your panties were long gone and half of his wrapped hard length was already in, he pushed you down fully just when you saw someone walk by from the corner of your eye. 

“They’ll see.” Your voice shook pathetically, your face buried in his heaving chest. “They will know.” 

“They are gone,” Sakusa whispered next to your ear. “Look. No one’s here.” 

But you wouldn’t dare. Calling his chest your new home, you hid.

“I said look.” 

He then gripped your chin and turned your face out towards the side window, and you wished the ground would open up and swallow you at that moment. The passersby were two people, they still hadn’t done unloading shopping bags from their car. You tried to be as still as the dead, but Sasuka’s cock ramming up in and out didn’t really vouch for that. He looked at them with you but much calmer. 

Your back hit the horn again and you knew it blared at full volume because the two passersby abruptly turned your way. 

“Darling,” he tutted. “You want them to see.” 

“No!” you cried.

Why didn’t he stop? Why did he only plunge deeper, hitting your sensitive spot just right in the most inappropriate moment? And why did the couple not stop staring this way?

Why did you come so hard your ears rang, only conscious enough to feel the pulse inside your pussy a moment later and nothing else?

“Miya was fucking right,” he mumbled, probably to himself cause you had no idea what he was talking about. To you, he said, “Can I have you?”

“What?” 

What, indeed. 

—

After getting the test results back from the health center and knowing for certain that you both were clean, Sakusa threw the rest of the condoms in the trash. Seeing that and getting railed till your eyes rolled and your pussy filled with his cum all in one night that you had to get a plan b the next morning, you knew you had to get on the pill.  

Sakusa knew, he asked when a reminder alarm went off one night, and you answered honestly that you had to take the birth control pill.

“Just—don’t want to forget,” you said. 

He didn’t comment but looked closely, at the pill, at you. 

The pro-athlete knew that this was a good call. You were in your last year of college about to graduate and he just started a career. But for some corrupted, selfish reason when he looked at the white pill you took, he hated it with passion. 

It was like being kept at arm’s length, not trusted enough, not wanted enough. It was petty, but Sakusa had always been greedy and you just never wanted a damn thing from him, always so polite and respectful—knowing your place. 

And as days went on, it drove him mad more often than he would like to admit, on the verge of screaming at you to stop taking only what he gave, to stop understanding boundaries and demand more of him. 

Never a call if not necessary, no texts if it was not answering some shit he sent before, not a hint of jealousy when some fans blatantly flirted with him, only the look of genuine delight that a lot of people seemed to admire him. Turned out it was him who enjoyed having you to himself a little too much, his embrace stayed locked all night from fear of you leaving before he woke.

Sakusa was not a lunatic, but he knew he was just a few pushes away from going deranged. Just a bit more. 

—

“I need to know what you’re up to, where you are. You gotta text me more,” said Sakusa casually while getting dressed one cold autumn morning, seven months into the agreement, “so I know you’re not out there fucking someone else behind my back.”

Your jaw dropped. “I would never.”

“Just a precaution. You barely talk to me.” 

“Oh.” 

“Text me.” 

And you did it without fail, sending him pictures, telling him where you were, what you did. Later on when you learned that he also liked to know who you were with, you told him that too. But lately the correspondence deviated slightly, going out of its day-update course to something—lewder. 

‘Outfit?’ 

He definitely knew what you wore since you never not stayed the night, and getting ready together in the morning had become a routine. Was it weird? Maybe. But if being a fuck buddy helped him with the stress and this was what it entailed, then you counted this as part of the agreement. You were fine with how everything turned out, really. Were you supposed to be fine? That was a question for another day. 

You texted back, ‘I’m in class. Can’t take a pic.’

He, on the other hand, could. The shirtless picture showed up in the chat, you had to lock the screen and put the phone face down as fast but also discreetly as you could. Any straying eye could have seen that, you thought, cursing Sakusa for his audacity.

Finding yourself in the nearest restroom a few minutes later, you got another message just when you were about to answer the previous one. 

‘Show me what you’re wearing down there.’

You did. 

‘Move the panties aside, let me see my pussy.’ 

He got a dirty mouth for someone who prided himself so much on cleanliness. 

‘You shouldn’t be wet. Weren't you in a lecture?’

You could hear him chuckle from here. He loved to do that, the mocking, the shaming before bestowing a soft pat on the head to soothe them all. 

‘Can’t wait to go home and lick it myself.’ 

Oh. 

‘Wish me luck on the game.’ 

“Go get them, tiger,” you whispered, but simply typed, ‘Good luck.’ 

There were so many things you didn’t say and didn’t know if you could. Like for you, he was one of the best players any team could ever ask for, had believed that since you first heard the ball made contact with Itachiyama’s gym floor and the thundering roar of the impact made you stop walking and look. You stood there, in front of the gym, eyes focused on the curly haired player, watching the practice till someone needed to get inside and asked you to move. 

He didn’t need luck.

That was before he came home and carried you to the bathroom straight away, the paper you were working on marked abandoned for the rest of the night. What you gathered while being pressed to the glass shower screen, breasts and cheek pushed harshly against the cold material was that Sakusa thought he needed luck.

MBSY lost the match. 

“Well, my good luck charm wasn’t with me,” he hissed. 

“You know that’s not—” An embarrassing whimper caused by a hard snap of Sakusa’s hips cut the sentence short. 

“You should always be with me. You have to. Promise me you will,” Sakusa ordered, one hand pulling on your hair till your head tilted from the force, the other still on your waist, squeezing hard like he wanted it to bruise. “Hurry. Say it.”

“I promise.” 

Promises made during sex weren’t meant to be kept, you thought. You just wanted to make him feel better, give him what he wanted. When he tugged you from the shower screen and turned you to face him, Sakusa’s mouth curved up into a thin smile, his raven curls all damp but framing his face just right. Dazzling as always.

A temporary beauty that could slip out of your hand at any given time. 

—

It didn’t take much to annoy Sakusa, he still glared at the little pill you took every day like it was his worst enemy; but tonight, Atsumu took the cake. 

“You look—strangely familiar.” Atsumu squinted his eyes at you. “Have I seen you before?”

As a matter of fact, he had. The agreement just hit a one-year mark, and you had been at numerous games before leaving with him every time in his car, of course Atsumu had seen you. The blond shithead just wanted to get the rise out of him.

“You have, Miya-san,” you answered politely. 

It was the first time he took you to a team dinner, first fucking time and this happened. 

“You and Omi-kun.” The speaker made a gesture with his hands, insinuating his curiosity in the relationship between you and his teammate. 

“I’m a friend from school.” 

The answer was too spontaneous, like it was on the tip of your tongue ready to be let out. And if that wasn’t the last push, Atsumu moving to sit in an empty seat next to you was the final nail in the coffin. 

—

“What are you looking for?” Sakusa asked, knowing damn well what you were trying to find. 

The weather outside the hotel room was pure heat and no wind, living up to its reputation Sakusa was aware of when he did the research to plan this one-week trip. It was somewhere far from Japan, people didn’t speak your language, and you didn’t have the pill with you. 

“I swear I put it right here.” You sounded so confused he almost pitied you. “Shit, how am I going to—urghhhh. Why am I like this? I forgot? Did I really?”

“If you don’t tell me, I don’t know how to help.” His voice came out sterner than he intended to. “What are you looking for?” 

“My pills—the birth control pill” You looked like you were going to cry. 

Then cry, he thought, thinking back to when he took the damn pills out of your bag and regretted nothing. Your lamenting, though, was getting on his nerves. 

“Are you trying to baby trap me?” Sakusa snarled.

Just like that, you looked at him like he had two heads. Sakusa could see your whole body tremble, voice quivering so bad when you tried to speak. 

“No.” You shook your head. “No, I’m—I’m going to search how to buy them here. Where’s my phone.” 

You looked for the device, found it, but Sakusa was fast in pulling it out of your hand again. 

“Liar,” he accused. 

“What?” Disbelief was written all over your face, voice went high-pitched. “What do you mean? I’ve been taking them for a year, never missed a day, I wouldn’t start now.”

“The missing pills say otherwise.” 

“I’m gonna buy—”

“Isn’t it too convenient, disappearing into thin air when traveling abroad to a country where you have no idea if birth control pills can be bought over the counter or prescribed easily.”

“We can buy condoms.”

“No,” said Sakusa, looking down at you who stood with tears brimming in both eyes. “We’ll do it raw, since that’s what you want.”

—

“Is this what you want?” he asked again when you slid down on his cock, pussy as soaked as your tear-stained face. “You want to use me.” 

Still trying to defend yourself, you muttered little nos. Because they were there, the pills, you remember exactly where you put them, checked it twice even. 

“Use me then.” Sakusa refused to touch you, to help. Rested against the headboard in all his naked glory, his cock fit perfectly inside you like it belonged there.

How did it come to this? From a spectator who admired him from afar to being this close, lifting yourself up and dropping down on his cock, not a part of your body he hadn’t cummed in or on, being called a baby trapper when you had no such plan. 

You could never do that to him, but it was also difficult to get out of his strong hold when you knew he was about to cum, tried and failed to pull yourself up so he could climax outside. 

Sakusa hugged your whole body to him, shooting ropes of white fluid deeper than you ever felt. He must have been real angry with you to be able to pull this off out of spite and kissed you later as if everything was fine. Tongue tasting salt from the tears, you heard Sakusa’s low moan and a string of words.

“Let’s make sure it takes.” 

—

The first four days were like that, staying in the hotel room and surviving on room service. The state of the room the maid had to see when they came in for a daily cleaning embarrassed you every time, but all you could do was smile bashfully and go sit with Sakusa on the balcony, waiting for them to be done. 

He always had sunglasses on when sitting outside on a rattan chair big enough to accommodate two people, and you would always be there with him, sometimes reading from the same book, laughing at the same time. It wasn’t all bad. 

Something in the way he looked at you changed after you cried your heart out and spilled your guts on the second night. You couldn’t quite grasp what it was, but his looks felt more intense and somewhat… determined. 

“Kiyoomi,” you called, head resting on his chest, hearing his heart skip a beat but it was probably all in your head, thoughts muddled after taking his cum for two days straight. “I was at the gym every day after school instead of going home to watch you move around the court,” you said, “passing the ball, receiving it, spiking it. You looked majestic doing that, you know?” 

“I never wish you harm.” It was a mystery how tears were infinite, fresh ones running down past the bridge of your nose and onto his chest. “I could never ruin your life.” 

His tone had never been more gentle when he muttered, “I know.” 

Never sounded so needy when he demanded, “Call me Kiyoomi again.” 

“Kiyoomi,” you whined. 

“Give me more.” He kissed you on the top of your head, nose buried in your hair. “Give me everything.”

WELCOME HOME (Miya Atsumu x Reader)

WARNINGS: Yandere, stepc*st/inc*st, praise kink, degradation, manipulation, possessiveness, jealousy, themes of blackmail, noncon/dubcon, somnophilia, spanking, unprotected, rough, spitting, oral (m receiving), stockholm syndrome, abuse, mentions of gunplay

Summary: You travel across the country for a conference and stay with your loving nii-chan. 

A/N: Read the warnings first! Dark content ahead :) Hope you enjoy my first server collab contribution! This is a part of the Haikyuu Headquarters NSFW Collab! Thank you to @wufxn​ and @hqbbg​ for all of your help and late nights! Tsumu-nii’s aesthetic is based on this.

Word Count: 4.3k

Keep reading

Jamie Varon