Zhongli X Fallen God! Reader

A Happy Ending Yet to Happen

Characters: Xiao x F!Reader (Y/N), implied traveler x Xiao at end, ft. Venti and Paimon Fandom: Genshin Impact WC: 8.2k words Tags: character death, immortal(?) x mortal, grief, sadness, tears, angst, spoilers for Xiao’s voice lines and stories, Xiao might be slightly OOC in some scenes A/N: I’m pretty sure you can’t call Xiao an immortal since yakshas can die and stuff but like they live a long time so it sorta works HAHA. Also this hasn’t really been beta read and so there’s probably a couple of mistakes, sorry about that!

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It was over from the start

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Characters: Ayato, Ayaka & Thoma

Including: Angst

Warnings: Blood, Violence, Death (can be triggering)

Summary: They never came back, it was already too late.

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Words count: 4.1k

Blank blogs dni

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How sweet was it to fall in love with the head of the Kamisato Clan, the dear older brother of your friend, Ayaka. You knew her for years, since she was a child while you were a bit older, since she couldn't see her brother most of the time, she would hang out with you. She was someone dear to you, that you would protect for anything and anyone, she was your first friend, and you were cherishing her.

After some years, her older brother grew curious about who Ayaka was seeing whenever she was going out, and that's how you met him. You spend hours talking while drinking tea, Ayato listening closely to everything you were saying while you share memories you had with the younger sister, from years ago to now, games you played, books you read together, Ayato could see how fond you were of his sister.

That's when he decided to trust you completely with her, not wanting to take away one of the people that were making his dearest little sister happy. You got the approval of coming to the Kamisato Estate whenever you wanted, granting you the honour of spending as much time as you wanted here. And slowly but surely, you grew closer to Ayato, and Thoma. Which was making Ayaka more than happy.

Everyone grew used to seeing you everywhere Ayaka went, and it wasn't rare for Thoma to join you. Especially since you had one particular thing in common, which is the both of you coming from Mondstadt, it made you become closer than ever. Thoma was someone you trusted greatly, and you would go see him when you ended up missing your nation. Sometimes, in the middle of the day, he would come to see you and share some memories he had there, with his friends, and you could hear how much he was missing it too.

Despite both loving Inazuma so much, you were longing to go back to Mondstadt. But for now, you would push this need aside, because for you, Ayaka mattered more, and for Thoma, his Lord mattered more too. At least, it was the official reason, because on one drinking night, with you two sitting on a bench, watching people passing by, you admitted something. How badly you fell in love with Ayato after some months, and then, Thoma admitted that he had feelings for the younger sister.

You knew you couldn't do anything about this, you grew up and lived in a different world, position, and your future would never be as bright as theirs. You agreed to never talk about it again, and time continued to fly as if nothing happened, the secret will only stay between the two of you. Until on another night, you voiced out your love for the head of the clan by accident, and he replies positively. This changed everything.

You learned soon after, that Thoma admitted to Ayato what he was feeling, and surprisingly, he agreed for him to court his sister, on the condition that he needed for them to both hit their 18 years old first. Since they were both born the same year, one in January, and the other in September, he would have to wait 9 more months, but he was willing to do that.

Everything was going well, for the better, Thoma hit his 18th birthday, and you all celebrated together, and then, 9 months later, it was Ayaka's turn. Nothing changed much between all of you, except for your closeness with Ayato, and Thoma being subtly sweeter and more attentive with Ayaka.

You were sure that the joy and happiness would last long, or so you thought until the news came in, Ayato was going to marry a woman for political reasons and someone from another clan proposed to Ayaka. You weren't worried at first, you knew he liked you back, and you were closer than ever. But then, one day, while leaving your house, you could hear everyone talking, saying how happy they were that Kamisato Ayato accepted the marriage with this woman, that was perfect in their eyes for someone like him.

The news crushed you, your heart breaking into pieces, but you didn't dare to say anything, knowing it wasn't your place to. You decided to just slowly put distance between yourself and the head of the Kamisato clan, reassuring Ayaka that it will never impact your friendship with her. It pained you to see him talk with someone else, forgetting you, but you focused on what was important. After all, you weren't living in the same world, it would have never worked out.

Ayato talked to you once after this, but instead of giving you a reason, he just told you it was for the best. Since then, you never talked with him again, except if it was related to Ayaka. You could see him try to call out for you, but this woman was showing up at the same time every time, and he couldn't do anything but watch you walk away. You didn't hate this woman, she was just doing what her clan asked her to, creating a link with another clan, and so, you treated her as greatly as any other guest.

Soon after, the other news hit you, Ayaka accepted the engagement with this man. The same night, Thoma came to you, crying in your arms, whimpering and stuttering words out with difficulty. It was unbearable for him, after months of trying to win her heart, Ayaka just accepted someone that she knew nothing about, as if he never existed in the first place or never mattered in her life. You comforted him the best you could, understanding the pain he was going through more than anyone else. This night, none of you slept, too heartbroken to even think about trying to rest.

The next day, you both agreed to stay away from the one person breaking your heart, which means also seeing the other less, but it was for your own good. Ayaka was confused about why Thoma hasn't come to talk to her today, but you didn't reply, knowing there was no good answer to her question.

Your happiness and joy fell drastically, the pain overtaking any good emotions left in your heart, you couldn't bear to see his face anymore or hear his voice. You were sleeping less, your mind filled with bad thoughts, your chest hurting as your heart was squeezed painfully, and you felt awfully bad. The simple act of going there, and spending your hours in between these walls, remembering everything you did with him, was adding to your suffering, breaking the rest of the mental strength you had.

You couldn't imagine the pain Thoma was going through, as he knew Ayaka for years, living here since he was a teenager. And on one of your nights, the one when you would just rant to Thoma, and he would do the same with you, he let out a sentence you couldn't forget.

“I want to go back to Mondstadt.”

You knew Mondstadt was suffering from a war against monsters right now, and it was one of the worst periods to go back here, but was it really worse than staying in Inazuma? The thought couldn't leave your mind, you wanted to stay here with Ayaka, but at the same time, you knew it would only make you suffer more. You kept your feelings in, and decided to push them aside until you had to face them for real.

Days passed again, and your state was only getting worse, Ayaka could see it, and she tried everything to make you feel better, also bringing you to your favourite places. But it was only making you feel worse, as in every place she was bringing you to, you had memories of Ayato there, and it was making you feel sick. You weren't sleeping correctly anymore, eyebags appearing, and you grew colder. Your joyful personality has disappeared as everything was too much for you right now, these feelings you had were making you die inside.

Thoma was watching from afar, worried and sad for you, which would catch the attention of Ayato, that also grew worried. He didn't know what was happening to you, but it was driving him crazy to not be able to just ask you, as if something was pulling him back before he could step forward. How stupid of him to not see he was the one inflicting you this much pain, unknowingly making you agonize in this place, trapped between these walls. He thought your love for him wasn't serious, how wrong was he. If only he knew.

The day ended, and without knowing it, you missed Ayato waiting for you on the other side of the Estate, himself not knowing you weren't walking in front of his office anymore, to avoid seeing him. As you were leaving for the day, closing the door behind you when you noticed this woman waiting for you, looking a bit embarrassed. She dragged you gently away, asking you if you had any idea of a gift she could give to Ayato, since you were closer to him and knew him better. It was the final straw. You felt your heart break and being crushed under her feet.

You replied to her softly, giving her the best idea you had, and you watch with gentle eyes as she brightens up. She thanks you over and over again, before bowing and walking away happily, not knowing that you gave her the gift you were planning to offer Ayato for his birthday. But you knew you will never give it to him anyway, despite knowing you talk about it with him before, he surely had forgotten by now, so it wasn't important. You took your decision.

The same night, Thoma was waiting for you at your house, and he confessed that he was thinking about leaving soon, only comforting you in your decision. He looked at you with wide eyes when you announced that you were leaving the next day, you had left a letter of resignation under Ayaka's office door, and you would take the first ship leaving from the port the next morning. Your bags were packed, nothing was holding you back now. You were suffering too much here, everywhere you were going, memories were swarming you, memories of you and Ayato, crushing your heart and making you suffocate.

Thoma was sharing your feelings, suffering as much as you if not more, and without a second thought, he decided to come with you. The only reason he was holding up, was because you were here, if you leave him now, he would be completely destroyed. And that's how you helped him pack his bags, bringing them to your house and sleeping here for the night.

The next day, when the sun came up, you were admiring the sunrise from Inazuma one last time. Knowing you weren't coming back.

You went to the port, greeting the crew as they helped you carry your bags and then, the ship was leaving. And you watch as the land was becoming thinner and thinner until you couldn't see it anymore. Meanwhile, Ayaka has woken up, and found your letter, reading it with tears in her eyes before running to her older brother. And as he read, his heart stopped, an unknown feeling spreading through his body as he stared into the void, not knowing what to do. When Ayaka reached your house, alone, you had already left and there were no traces of Thoma left.

You observed the clear blue sky, admiring the few clouds you could see as you relax outside, Thoma sitting calmly beside you with a small smile, watching as you seemed much happier than before. You enjoyed the sounds of the wave hitting the ship, the fresh air of the sea and the calm, for the first time in weeks, you were feeling at peace. The tension and responsibility weighing your shoulders evaporating with the salty water, all the pain going away slowly, as you get away from Inazuma. Away from him and those unwanted memories.

You were so thankful to Kazuha, your long-time friend, that managed to convince Beidou to take you with them on the ship. He understood how much he was suffering, and the physical state you were in was only proving how hard it has been for you recently. He almost cursed out loud when he heard about what happened, and he couldn't help but feel furious about how Ayato and Ayaka just dismissed your feelings, as if it wasn't important in the first place.

The ship should bring you to Liyue and then, you had to find a way to reach Mondstadt, even with the war going on, but you reassured Kazuha that everything would be fine, and he had no reason to worry. And without another word, he just smiled at you, holding out his hands to you before motioning to Thoma to follow you, bringing you to a higher place on the ship, where nobody could go except the captain and him, so you could enjoy your travel as much as it was possible.

Soon enough, you saw the land, not far away from you, and a warm feeling was spreading through your heart into the rest of your body. And for the first time in three days, you saw the brightest smile on Thoma's face as he held onto your shoulder, watching excitedly as you grew closer to the other nation.

And finally, after three days, from being on Beidou's ship to reaching Liyue and then asking merchants to bring you to Mondstadt, you were there. You were both exhausted, but the thought of finally being away from what was causing you so much pain was just, so refreshing. The fresh air, all the tension leaving your body as you recognize your home, the city you grew up into, everything was perfect. And the smile on your face was so natural and true, filled with honesty and hope. You were finally here, the city of freedom.

On your way there, you met with Diluc, his red flaming hair catching your attention immediately, and you feel the emotions taking over. You couldn't help but run forward and hug him, unknowingly bringing him to tears as he was so sure he would never see you again. He was the one that helped you to reach Inazuma after all, ignoring his feelings for you as he just wanted you to be happy. He was also so relieved to see Thoma with you, and he offered to let you stay the night.

This night ended up being three days, talking and sharing what happened during you weren't here, also telling you how the war was going before moving back to lighter subjects. As you talked, you started to regain memories you never knew existed, and it was so sweet to remember how happy you were to live here, when you were playing with Diluc and Kaeya or purposely annoying the merchants in the city. Everything felt so nostalgic, and you were feeling better than ever, your own happiness affecting Thoma, that couldn't help but watch you go back to your old self with gentle eyes.

Soon enough, you told your old friend that you were going to go to the city for the day, and he offered to bring you there, afraid that the monsters could attack you. And he was right because on the way, near the walls, a group of monsters jumped on you, thankfully you defeated them easily but turns out they were attacking the city and the knights were struggling to protect it. Without a second thought, Diluc grabbed his claymore and jumped into the fight, with a nod, you and Thoma joined him.

And after hours of intense fighting, and some cuts inflicted on your bodies, you managed to defeat them and make the rest give up. You looked over to Diluc, worried as his palms were burned by his vision, and you run to the nearest shop to buy something to heal him. By the time you were all more or less okay, it was too late to do anything else for the day, and Thoma rented a room instead of going back to the Dawn Winery Manor.

One day became a week, and then became two, and you ended up staying more than you thought in the city. As you agreed to leave the next day in the afternoon to see Diluc again, sadly, an attack ruined your plan. You woke up to loud noises and screams, the monsters invaded the city and were destroying everything along with attacking the citizens. You watched in shock from your window how a Mitachurls send a man flying into the wall, blood splashing everywhere.

Screams were resonating through the city, chilling you to the bone as you watch in horror everything getting reduced to flesh and broken pieces. Monsters were running into the city, bursting doors open, attacking anything that was moving, and the knights were struggling to protect the population. Thoma shoots up, grabbing his polearm ready to fight, but you weren't so sure about it being a good idea. Yes, you knew how to fight, but the knights were trained for this but were already struggling, your guts were telling you to not go in here.

But at the same time, you couldn't let Thoma jump into this battle alone, and when you hear him open the door and run down, you didn't have the time to think. You grabbed your weapon and attacked the first hillichurl you could find.

Everything was going well, they weren't strong enough to put you in difficulty, that was until two Mitachurls showed up. Not only one had a shield protecting him from your attacks, but the second had an enormous axe, and it was almost if not as big as you. You struggled to dodge every hit, the monster in front of you forcing you to back up into a wall, leaving you no opening to escape. And before you knew it, your back hit the brick wall harshly, and the Mitachurl was raising his axe over his head.

You managed to dodge the first attack, stepping to the side as the axe grazed your left shoulder, still creating a deep cut into your skin that was bleeding profusely. But as the second one was coming, you heard a scream, you turned your head on reflex to see Thoma surrounded by abyss mages, he was bleeding, and his left arm was frozen. Before you could move or process what you were seeing, his eyes meet yours, panic reflecting through his expression, terror taking over. And then he was burned in front of you, his screams echoing into your ears, your name dying under the pained cries. And it went silent, everything was unmoving around you as if the world stopped for almost a second.

Sadly it didn't last, and only an instant later, you heard something cutting through the air. The axe was falling down on you, breaking your bones, cutting through your skin and flesh, organs spilling out of the gaping cut. And then, it was over. You were dead on the spot, unable to hear Diluc screaming your name in desperation, witnessing your body cut in half and falling to the ground in a disgusting wet sound.

He killed them, unable to contain his rage, burning through his body, burning his hands as he kills everything he could see. But deep down, he knew that whatever he was doing now, he couldn't bring you back, he couldn't bring Thoma back. He would protect the rest of the population, doing his best to forget the scene he saw just an instant before, even if he knew he won't be able to sleep anymore after this. Your empty eyes and face covered in blood would haunt him forever. How cruel was it to come back, spend days with him, bring back memories and then die in front of him this way?

The battle ended only some hours after, many were dead, innocent people or knights, many lost loved ones and the population was devastated. Diluc left without a word, only stopping on your corpse to close your eyes before disappearing. With an unknown reason for most, he never came out of the Dawn Winery Manor again, refusing to go out and see anyone, too broken by the view of his loved ones dying again. It was only a week after that Ayaka reached Mondstadt, without his brother as he was celebrating his marriage, leaving her alone to discover the destroyed and bloody city. Despite searching everywhere, she couldn't find you or Thoma, she was getting desperate, almost crying in the middle of the street until someone came to help her. When she told the unknown person whom she was searching for, they became silent and simply led her to a calm area.

In front of her, was standing a tombstone, with thousands of names written on it. She was confused until she reached the middle of it, graved inside the granite, along with the names of the knights and the Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius, were yours and Thoma's names. Ayaka froze on the spot, hands shaking as she raised her fingers, touching the tombstone to make sure she wasn't hallucinating, it was really your two names here. You were dead. You weren't coming back to Inazuma, never.

She stood there, tears sliding down her cheeks as she couldn't let any words out. She needed someone to comfort her, she needed you or Thoma, she needed her brother, but none of you was here. She never had the time to say goodbye, the last memory she had with you was your broken and cold self, the tired and hurt Thoma. Without a word, she left the city after placing your and Thoma's favourite flowers in front of the tombstone.

On the way back, Ayaka didn't exchange any words, and even if she wanted to, each syllable she tried to murmur out was destroying her throat, as if it was burning from the inside. When she came back to Inazuma, she didn't speak a word to Beidou or Kazuha, unable to announce the news. She simply reached the Kamisato Estate, and broke off her engagement, throwing the ring away as she sits in the corner of the room, holding the letter you left against her chest, crying.

Ayato wasn't here, and she was all alone to deal with her pain. The next day, she sent one of the servants to deliver a letter announcing the terrible news to the people you knew, omitting the cause of the death. She only said that you died as a hero, saving the citizens of Mondstadt during the war. She sent a similar letter to Ayato, that was still celebrating his engagement at this time, telling everything that she knew, from the reason why you were being so down, to why you decided to leave Inazuma, to finally announce your death, insisting on how painful your death was.

In another letter, that she sent a day after, she told him everything she was feeling, from the pain to regrets and how much she hated herself for not doing anything before everything went down. The news shocked the head of the Kamisato Clan to the point he left during the celebration, running back to his younger sister in hope she would tell him it was a joke.

Unfortunately, the journey back took an entire day, and when he reached the Kamisato Estate, it was already too late. The only thing he found, was the corpse of his dearest sister, her royal blue kimono was now completely red, and in her hand, was resting your letter along with a picture of the four of you together.

Ayato was all alone now, his wife will never be able to compensate for the void he had in his heart, if he still had a heart. Everything was cold and grey around him, he lost his sister, he lost his most trusted servant that he considered a close friend, and he lost the one he truly loved. If only he didn't put his political marriage before anything else, or at least explained why he did this. But he did not, and he lost everything he was living for. Is the tragedy really over, or?

One thing is certain.

They never came back, it was already too late.

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 !

- gojo satoru x reader // zen'in naoya x reader

you are an empress perfect in every way... until your husband suddenly casts you aside for his expecting mistress. but you won't be dethroned just like that, because the newly coronated western emperor, gojo satoru, sets his sights on you, and thus your revenge against your ex-husband begins...

genre/warnings: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—might be ooc, kinda slowburn, angst to eventual fluff, divorce, marriage of convenience, heavy pining (from gojo's part), childhood friends trope, mentions of infidelity, misogyny, infertility, explicit smut

note: loosely inspired by and taking some elements of manhwa remarried empress (but i promise you, it's different). my god, for the past month this is all i can think about *sobs* wc. 10.5k ! this is the longest thing i've ever posted here, and if you'd give it a chance, then i'll be really, really thankful!

credit header goes to @/gojokko in twitter!

next. the crown of diamonds | long live the empire

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“I accept the divorce.”

Your perfect life was done for. Everything you had worked hard towards— it was now in shambles and tatters.

You, an ethereal, revered empress... someone untarnished in the face of public and private, had just agreed to the emperor’s blatant request of separation.

“My god... how can this be!?”

“Your Majesty! Please reconsider!”

Emperor Zen’in Naoya of the Eastern Empire, your husband—and companion for more than ten years—smirked as he looked down at you, paying zero attention to the uproar in this courthouse.

But then you heard that kind, velvety voice from the back of your head:

“If you become my empress… that will make me the happiest man alive.”

This place has turned into a whopping circus ever since you and Naoya stepped inside anyway. And so, having nothing worthy left to lose, you declared, “And I demand an immediate approval for my remarriage.”

Your boldness once again stirred a wave of clamor among the crowd, and even Naoya was glaring at you in disbelief now. “A remarriage…? How dare you—!”

“Well... is it the time for my grand entrance?”

Deep from behind the curtains, suddenly he emerged, dressed in the most lavish robes befitting his own throne, outshining everyone in the room as if he was the one owning the place.

“Heh.” His low chuckle stunned even the mass as he took big strides towards where you were.

This would seal your fate. From now onwards, you would no longer be the perfect empress. Your messy divorce and remarriage will relegate that image to history.

“My goodness, that’s…” the woman in the front gasped. “Western Empire’s…”

“Gojo… Satoru?” Naoya's eyes lit with genuine fury as the other man took his place by your side. “You couldn't possibly mean…!”

You interrupted him regally. “Yes, he is the man I wish to remarry.”

This event was going to blow up tomorrow, with scandalous titles no less than The Deposed Empress Remarries! And there was no going back, ever.

How did your pristine life turn into such a shameful debacle? None of these turn of events would be imaginable for you several years prior...

SATORU, THE CROWN PRINCE OF WESTERN EMPIRE

To Satoru, you were more than just the east’s breathtaking empress—you had captured his attention long before you ascended to that role.

Seven years ago, you were the renowned noble lady, the paragon of perfection sought after by many lords and monarchs alike.

You were both cunning and fair, pretty in the face, came from an illustrious family known for birthing famous empresses in either western and eastern empires. You were the quintessential template that mothers advised their sons to seek in a wife.

The fairest in the land—that was how people called you. And Gojo Satoru is always and only interested in the best.

“Suguru... look at her.” His eyes would soften at the sight of you as he nudged at his closest ally and confidant, the duke. “She is so... pretty, isn’t she?”

Unfortunately, you had been promised to the Eastern Empire’s crown prince from a long time ago too. There was little that the outsiders, including himself—even if he was the heir apparent to his own throne—could do to sway your heart.

“There's more to women than their faces, Satoru,” Suguru sighed, thinking that what he had was a mere lust. “Moreover, she’s engaged to the Zen’in... and they have a very good relationship. Nothing you can do about that.”

“Hmph.”

To be honest, he couldn’t fathom what you could possibly like about that murderous Zen’in spawn. He was a pompous human being, no less.

How on earth could you stand someone like that? Satoru had always wondered… especially when it was well-known to the land that you and him were on good terms despite your arranged marriage.

—and once, he thought he knew who you are…

. . .

Satoru swallowed the bitterness rising in his throat as he attended the royal wedding of you and Zen’in Naoya. Despite hating the circumstances, he had to admit it was a fairytale wedding—albeit with the wrong groom.

You were the epitome of picture book princess. In his eyes, and in the eyes of the attendees of your wedding.

Oh, and he made headlines too, that day—

“My princess, may I have this dance?”

Two hours hadn’t even passed by after you swore your vows as Naoya’s bride, and there he was, asking for your first dance, in your own wedding ball, right in front of your newly wedded husband.

Everyone bet on you turning him down and making a fool of himself, but instead, to spare his feelings, you put your delicate hand in his, and with a wide, shy smile, you said, “Yes.”

Satoru thought it was his greatest achievement then. To have made Naoya red-faced, to have made him watch as he put his hands on your waist, twirl you around— and come one breath away from your face.

“Princess, you’re…” his breath caught as he pulled you close, staring straight at your face—and suddenly he felt like life was so unfair to him as the slow melody of waltz was all he could hear.

How could you be this close... and yet so far by being somebody else’s wife?

And yet he forced the words out, with sincerity he had never showed anyone else before, even as his heart bled and shattered. “You’re so incredibly beautiful.”

Your eyes widened, sparkling with wonder, before you thanked him with the loveliest of smiles. “Thank you. You’re too kind.”

Satoru was certain... you had ruined him, because no one else would ever be able to turn his world with just a smile like you did, even as you broke his heart too into a million pieces.

. . .

Ever since that day, everyone had branded him as a prince in search of scandal—coveting the princess married to Zen’in clan.

What everyone didn’t know was that it went beyond that. His obsession of you went beyond your beauty and charms and wits. Rather, it goes a long way back.

YOU, THE CROWN PRINCESS OF EASTERN EMPIRE

As inconceivable as it was, once upon a time, you and Naoya were a truly, happy couple.

Handpicked by the late emperor to become his son’s wife, you couldn’t be more proud. With you being the next empress of the Eastern Empire, your clan once again proved itself that it was always worthy of a seat in the monarchy.

But beyond that, you were elated that it was Naoya that you ended up marrying. Your own childhood friend, who often led you around his palace by hand and filled your days with many joy and laughs.

“One day soon, when we are the emperor and the empress—” younger Naoya was always someone who had big dreams about ruling his nation. “We will create a nation in which no one can do anything as they please! We’ll establish order, and anyone who goes against it will be punished! That way, it’ll encourage fairness!”

Not knowing it yourself, you had given your heart wholly to him. You had agreed to all his dreams and visions. You devoted yourself to them all, even more so after your marriage and coronation, as he promised you an ever after.

“From now on, it’s going to be me and you, Empress.”

YOU, THE EMPRESS OF EASTERN EMPIRE

“Your role is to give an heir to the throne, Empress.”

Your title had never sounded so heavy to you before now, especially when Naoya was the one saying it.

You sighed, gathering your wits and scattered feelings before levelling your calm gaze on your husband. “I understand that, Your Majesty. But it is not something that I can do on my own.”

This year would mark the fifth year of your marriage to Naoya. You understood that the fact you still weren’t able to be with his child would raise questions from the court, but still, must you be reminded of this fact over and over?

Your husband—no, the emperor—barked a satire laugh.

“Oh, really? As I understand it, being infertile is not something I can help you with.”

That hurt. It was a searing pain, like being branded with a red-hot iron. And it felt as if he had torn through your chest with his fist alone.

“I’m not infertile.” Your eyes gleamed with pure defiance as you lifted your chin, facing him in his audience chamber.

It dawned on you that lately, one of the few ways you could speak to him was by requesting an audience as opposed to your usual midnight talks in your private chambers.

When did it start to change? Or was Naoya this kind of person right from the very beginning and you were just blinded by love back then?

"Oh? And what would you call being childless for five years then?" Naoya sneered at you from his dais, placing one hand on his jaw. "Bad luck? You must be terribly cursed with misfortune then."

You fisted your dress, summoning all your strength to hold back tears. Don't you dare cry. Not in front of him.

It wasn't as if you didn't want to carry his heir. For many women, holding their baby in their arms is a cherished dream, and when they hold a position of power like yours, it becomes not just a desire but a duty.

You tried everything—calling in the best doctors, consuming horrible potions, even consulting with the oracle. And they all said you were perfectly healthy and fine. You were at your wits end too.

The irony. You were celebrated in public for your competence, while privately, you suffered your husband's cold detachment and cruel remarks.

. . .

"Empress, where should we put the welcome gifts?"

You studied the floor plan of the banquet hall for your annual New Year's ball with a thoughtful hum before pointing at the entrance.

"Place it here. We want our guests to know that we are generous, and it's easily accessible since the parlor is the first area they reach after arriving."

You loved planning festivities. It was therapeutic in a way, and it gave you little time to think of anything else.

"Oh, and I want to have a welcome arch and flowers placed at the entrance too. This is the grandest event of the year, second only to the Emperor's birthday... we must display the grandeur that befits such an occasion."

Your head maidservant, Hanabi, placed a hand on her abdomen and nodded with a warm smile. "That's a very clever suggestion, Your Majesty! I'll ensure they arrange everything just as you wish!"

As she scurried away, you watched her with an assessing gaze. Hanabi had been with you throughout the five years of your marriage, always at your side, assisting with day-to-day matters and serving as your confidant. She was a great aide.

And you were observant by nature... so of course you noticed things.

...and if you were correct, then she was most definitely with a child.

The thing is... she is unmarried. You hesitated to jump to conclusions without evidence, yet the timing struck you as more than coincidental—it nagged at you for weeks now, suggesting a connection you hoped did not exist.

Because if they really did... then...

You didn't dare to think, because it would be more than a nightmare. But you weren't able to let this go either, so you did what was necessary.

You planted a note in Hanabi's chamber, and then you waited in the gardens, the chilly midnight air wrapping around you like a shroud.

You had done everything you could. Five years ago, you let go of everything and had decided to spend your life with your first love—Naoya.

Because you truly and devotedly love him. You give your all for him—for your life together.

"Ooh, Your Majesty~! It's so cold out here, why not in our usual—"

Hanabi's voice faltered as soon as she saw your crimson gown, feeling like the world had collapsed on her. And you rigidly turned towards her, feeling more or less the same.

And yet, what you had received from him is the greatest betrayal.

SATORU, THE EMPEROR OF THE WESTERN EMPIRE

He first realized something was clearly wrong with you during the New Year’s ball that you hosted.

Satoru had just been crowned emperor during this time, and though rulers typically sent envoys to such grand celebrations due to concurrent festivities in their own lands, it had been several months since he last saw you. He wants to see you.

A meritless action, but he wanted to, regardless.

But that day, you were a fantastic actress in this stage called banquet hall and nobody was the wiser… but he would know, because you mattered a lot to him.

"Your Majesty, you don't seem well." He approached you with a glass of champagne, affixing a friendly smile. "Is there anything amiss?"

Taken aback, you didn't expect such close proximity that you took a step back. His smile almost faltered, but he kept it up.

"Emperor Satoru—"

"Ah, none of that, no. Address me just as you usually do, hmm?"

A smile finally tugged at your lips. "How is that fair, when you address me so formally?"

Satoru chuckled. "You, my queen, deserve all the finery and grandeur there is. And I will see to it that you do."

That was his nickname for you ever since you ascended the throne. Both of your countries refer you as “empress”, but he loves addressing you as “queen” instead.

There was a shift in your expression, and he thought you looked melancholic. It bothered him, stirring a desire to erase that somber look from you. Because above anything and everything, you had to be happy and smiling.

"You're still a flirt, I see, Satoru," you remarked, throwing him a soft smile. "It won't do you good if you're seen with me most of the time, you know."

No, I’m doing this just for you. He wanted to tell you that, but he sighed instead. "You've got it wrong. When I'm in the company of the most beautiful woman in the lands, what's there to be ashamed of?"

Perhaps hearing that finally melted you a bit as you freely giggled this time, and Satoru was glad that he made you laugh even a little.

"You would think that, huh..." you fondly mumbled. And then your expression crumbled, and he could've sworn something painful flashed in your eyes—

What happened to you? He so desperately wanted to ask, but then he saw that preying gaze on both of you. Zen’in Naoya. Satoru clicked his tongue as he watched him weave through the crowd, his gaze locked ominously on both of you.

“Seems like we don’t have much time, after all,” he began, urgency sharpening his words. “But rest assured, whenever you want to talk to me, just send a little birdie my way and I shall answer.”

“Huh?” you blinked at him questioningly, totally not getting what he meant.

He winked, then took your hand and placed a kiss on it, eliciting murmurs of surprise from the crowd at his bold gesture. “And chin up, my queen. You have nothing to fear, and if it makes you feel better...”

He leaned in to whisper in your ear, “To me, a diamond is most beautiful. And you… are one that sparkles above all.”

“Naoya, unhand me this instant!”

You were tired of this shit, of Naoya always manhandling you—of him always having a total control over you.

After seeing how close you got to Satoru, Naoya practically saw red. Still, in the prying eyes of public, he remained unperturbed, but his vice-like grip on your arm was sure to leave bruise as he unkindly led you out of the ballroom.

"Naoya!" you raised your voice this time, even louder than before, uncaring even when the wandering eyes of the servants curiously followed the two of you.

You were not made an empress just to follow him. And with that conviction, you forcibly pulled your arm away from his grip right after he shut the door to the drawing room close, not even wincing at the stinging feeling.

His eyes shone with anger. “You insolent—!”

“No—” You stood your ground, and suddenly you got very irate and burst out, “How dare you, Zen’in Naoya!”

He looked at you with equal surprise and mortification, clearly unprepared for your righteous tirade.

"You have made a mockery of our marriage! You have insulted me and your own throne by carrying on with— with the help! My maid!" you screamed at his face, pure anger coursing through your veins. "How could you!?"

Naoya took in your outburst with eerie silence, a sneer slowly forming on his lips. "You get riled up over that? Have you forgotten emperors are free to take mistresses, especially when the empress isn't capable to bear any heirs?"

A burning arrow shot straight to your heart at his response but you willed yourself not to show it. "Regardless, you could've done better and not put our throne to shame by fucking a servant."

"I've told you time and time again. A woman's duty is to bear children, and since you've proven yourself beyond barren, I did you a favor."

"A favor...?"

"As soon as Hanabi births that child, you can raise him as your own," Naoya frankly stated unabashedly, as if proud with his idea. "Saves you the trouble and I get my heir, a win-win solution, no?"

Raise him as my own...? Saves the trouble? You could've sworn that throughout your entire life, you had never been so insulted before now, right in this moment.

"What I do, I always have my throne in mind. And yet you..." his eyes narrowed into unsatisfied slits. "What are you trying to achieve by whoring yourself to that rake, Gojo Satoru? Are you telling people of the ton that you're having an affair?"

His voice made you want to throw up. The realization that everything you thought you had together might have meant nothing to him at all made you feel sick.

And so, hiding your trembling hands and swallowing you unshed tears, you responded to him with a clipped tone—

"You're most despicable, Naoya. And you are a complete fool if you think even for a second that I'd want to raise your bastard!"

He seemed taken aback by your rejection, but you didn't falter. "And oh, since you want to make use of that lowly maid so much, feel free to take her back and track her down yourself, because I've sent that wench away."

With that, you turned your back on him, striding out with your head held high, even as your life crumbled into dust.

Days after your full-blown argument with Naoya, your situation only worsened. By now, even the palace servants knew you had incurred his wrath, while Hanabi had won his favor by carrying his child—possibly the heir to the throne.

The child she was carrying was no threat to your position. After all, you were the empress. A child of your blood would trample over any bastard.

However, you'd be damned if you shared a bed with him again, and Naoya made it clear that his mistress would be elevated to the rank of royal consort. Given the current trajectory—and history's tendency to repeat itself—emperors often divorced or banished their empresses in favor of their mistresses.

Bah. You could only scoff at your laughable predicament. You came from a prestigious clan and were revered, yet now you were no more than a scorned woman.

Dark thoughts consumed your mind for a time—you couldn't deny that you had considered leaving the palace for self-imposed exile or even ending your life. However, reason always prevailed.

You wouldn't give Naoya what he wanted most: your compliance. And around the time when you resolved to do that, a finely decorated envelope arrived at your study, with no signature whatsoever.

Intrigued, you opened it to find an intricate dried rose bookmark and a folded letter nestled inside.

Greetings to you, my queen. Yeah, it's me. Hope you won't be too surprised. But if you do, know that I always mean well.

Satoru. You weren't expecting this. A small smile tugged at your lips. How long had it been since you last smiled so freely?

I've heard you love reading, hence the bookmark. Fun fact: I made it myself, with Shoko's help. She is sooo bad at explaining though so if the flower is wrinkled... please blame her.

This time, you giggled. He was an emperor, for god's sake. Should someone of his station write so informally like this?

Now... I'm no oracle, but even I know that you must be having bad days. And so, let me entertain you with several tales from my kingdom. So, the other day, my good friend Suguru, the duke—you must've heard of him surely (they said he is the most handsome bachelor in the West but they must be missing an eye for saying so because clearly I'm more!)—just fired a pair of his servants because he caught them in a thirst! He is so uptight! Why can't he let two people in love be!?

Before you knew it, you found yourself chuckling at the lines upon lines of anecdotes Satoru had penned in the letter. The way he wrote, it was as if he was right here, saying all of this to you in real-time. For a while, you were completely absorbed in the world of the Western Empire he described, and all your worries and anxieties seemed to fade away.

Okay, that's it for now. This is just a teaser actually, so if you want to subscribe to more tales of my humble little country, you can always be my empress reply to this letter! :D Look out for a white cat near your windowsill during the hour of snake—he is my trained pet, and put your message in his little backpack. Don't worry, he's cute and doesn't bite!

You were so giddy by the end. His message warmed your heart so much that your eyes grew misty. In the aftermath of Naoya's betrayal, you were certain your life would be filled with much sadness to come.

Yet, your friendship with Satoru might just be the thing that would save you.

No matter how much his friends Duke Geto and Countess Shoko urged him to see reason—that you were no longer available and occupied with your duties as the empress of your own empire—Satoru couldn't help but still cast an eye your way.

You were clearly unhappy, and to him, someone as radiant as you should be happy.

And so, that was why he took his quill and started writing that letter to be sent to your place, along with a rose strapped inside.

He knew that, being the kind person you were, you would most likely respond, but still, the moment his cat arrived back with your reply, he was elated beyond measure.

Of course I knew it right away! I omitted your name because who knows who might catch your cat on the way. Anyway, I hope Mr. Cat will arrive back to you safe and sound. Firstly, thank you for your letter. I must say I'm so happy to receive it :) I haven't had best days so reading it made me smile. And secondly, of course I'll subscribe to your stories of Western Empire. I've been wanting to visit it myself but just haven't gotten the chance to... so if you will continue it, I shall be happy to read :D

If anything he wrote brought you joy, then Satoru was content. He had achieved his goal then.

And it was his own little secret that... by corresponding with you, it allowed him to savor the feeling of having you as his own, if only through words.

Mr. Cat's name is Sugu-chan after Suguru but you can call him whatever you wish. And don't worry, he is strong and can fight if necessary! And don't be too formal with me, my queen. We have known each other forever. Anyway do tell me, what is your favorite color now? Let me guess, is it still that specific shade of crimson?

You name your cat after your best friend...? And you're making it hard for me to be less formal when you always address me as queen! Hmm, I suppose so. I love burgundy. I've even had my study designed with that exact color scheme. It just gives me the confidence I need, you know.

So you still love burgundy... I'll keep that in mind ;) Frankly, any shade of crimson suits you—you're always a vision in them. Back then and especially during your coronation. I love blue, so I think we're a match? :D

Back then...? Hmm, surprisingly yes, red and blue would make a good match... Anyway, I believe you promised me unusual tales from your 'humble little country', so please indulge me!

You've forgotten it already? Around the time we first met, back when I was still known as "the cursed prince"? It holds such importance for me but sadly it seems like it was just a passing moment to you :( Oh, yeah, I haven't forgotten about it! So, this time let me tell you about the time when Earl Nanami got wasted . . .

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Amidst the turmoil of your marriage, exchanging letters with Satoru became your sole respite. His stories regarding his own empire amused you, and sometimes it got you to wonder what it was like to live there.

However, running away from your problems would never solve them. Writing to Satoru may have helped you to cope, but still, your real issue with Naoya wouldn't vanish simply just by ignoring him.

. . .

"Your Majesty..."

For a good one minute, you stood still. Your lady-in-waiting had delivered an earth-shattering news—but admittedly, a possibility you thought was in the cards the moment you went against Naoya.

"His majesty has summoned the high priest to his study," the elderly woman added, close to tears. "But it is very likely that he has submitted the petition for—" her voice faltered when she caught sight of the emptiness in your eyes, unable to continue.

A divorce. Naoya had been considering a divorce. And by now, he was set on it.

"I'm so, so sorry..." she choked out, her voice breaking with sorrow to mourn you, but you remained expressionless, lost in your thoughts.

The last time an empress of Eastern Empire was divorced was more or less a century ago, because she had committed a grave treachery against a royal consort by poisoning her. She was sentenced to death by hanging afterwards.

The irony. You were in similar situation, only that you weren't vengeful enough to resort to poisoning Hanabi. Speaking of her, her baby was due in another four months, and now she was living happily in Naoya's quarters.

"Don't be. I'm perfectly fine."

To consolidate his illegitimate child's position, Naoya used the most effective way. Since you wouldn't listen to him, and Hanabi must be a far delightful companion rather than you, he was more than willing to cast you aside in favor of making her his empress instead.

You thought it would hurt more, and yet what you felt the most right in this moment was white-hot anger. This is unacceptable. It was the greatest insult to you both as a woman and as the empress.

Now, all you could think of was how to uphold your dignity and plot your exit from this palace with your head still held high.

If I can't be the empress here...

And after a sleepless night, you came to a daring solution. And your plan—

...I'll be one somewhere else.

It was an invitation, Satoru thought, almost in disbelief. Or it sounded a lot like one, didn't it?

Heart beating a little faster and blushing, he reread the latest letter you had sent him.

It's only the beginning of summer, and the heat is sweltering... I'm considering treating myself to a trip to the winery village on the border between the east and west. I think it'll be nice if I have a companion...

Winery village was right in the middle of the western and eastern empires, and it was a safe zone. Vineyards were vast and thick, but it wasn't exactly a popular vacation spot. So, it intrigued him why you would want to go there.

Just as he was about to reply to you that it was a very good coincidence that he too wanted to pay a visit to the said village, suddenly—

"Gojo! Gojoooo!" Shoko suddenly burst into his study, startling him.

"Shoko! What the heck?!"

Lady Shoko might be a countess, but she, Satoru, and Suguru all attended the same royal academy. Despite their prestigious titles now, Satoru insisted that in private, both Suguru and Shoko address him just as they did before he ascended the throne.

Still, she was ruder than Suguru in many ways. Satoru gave her a stink eye, but his confusion grew as she seemed to be delivering momentous news.

"Gojo, have you heard that Naoya will divorce Y/N?!"

"Wha?" it felt like a ton of bricks suddenly fell down on his head. And then his friend proceeded to tell him everything she knew.

"It wasn't made official yet, but even the townsfolk have been talking about it. They also said that Naoya have taken a mistress, and that she was formerly the empress' maid."

Satoru listened to her in silence, but the moment he heard that the Zen'in spawn planned to divorce you, anger flared within him. And to add insult to injury, he two-timed you with a servant?

The fucking bastard. He never deserved you at all. How crushed must you have been, enduring all this shit?

"Now, I wouldn't normally encourage you this," Shoko took out the cigarette she stashed in the folds of her dress and sighed. "But since you never let go of that weird fixation on her, should the royal divorce happen..." she shrugged as she took a seat in front of him.

"No matter how laughable it is, you might have a chance."

She is so right. These long years of longing for your affections and dreaming of having even a minute more of your time... there was now chance to turn it to reality.

When you arrived at the winery village for your vacation to breathe in some fresh air, honestly, everything was still in shambles.

You couldn't forget the horrified looks from the court when Naoya announced the divorce. Most were shocked and pleaded with him to reconsider. Some from your circle of ladies even sobbed, openly stating that you didn't deserve this fate.

“Empress... His Majesty shouldn't be that harsh...” Hanabi had said to you afterwards, seemingly concerned for you. “Your legacy here… I’ll make sure to carry them on.”

Sometimes you didn’t know whether Hanabi was pretending to be dumb or indeed she was. One thing you knew though...

“I wish you luck on that, Hanabi.” You looked down at her with eyes as cold as ice. “Beware, the Emperor is fickle, be sure to not run out of entertainments.”

You knew you deserved a better fate than being the empress of the Eastern Empire, but seeing those who still cared for you made you solemn. Your loyal maids, those who supported you... and what about organizations you've spent time and energy to?

“My queen, ah, there you are.”

Satoru's voice from behind startled you, interrupting your daydreams. He quickly came beside you and extended his hand, asking for yours.

You offered him your right hand, and he promptly pressed a kiss on it, his bright blue eyes gazing up at you.

It wasn't as if you just noticed how pretty his eyes were, but now that there was no ballroom and scrutinizing eyes around you, you couldn't deny that the way his eyes sparkled as he gazed at you—solely and purely on you—made you breathless.

What... would it be like to have this man... to be your husband instead?

"I missed you. I know we talk daily through letters, but seeing your beauty firsthand is always a sight for sore eyes," he cheekily commented as he let go of your hand. "Now, I get to see you without your pesky husband around, and yeah, you never fail to make my silly heart race."

You chuckled. "You always flatter me..."

He only gave you a toothy smile, and you two strolled the vineyard. For a while, you talked about nothing of importance, like where your ladies-in-waiting were, how things were from his side.

"How do you find being the emperor?"

"It's tiring! It's boring too to look through accounts and oversee those trivial state affairs! And not to mention how many people have been nagging me to take a wife soon!"

"Oh? You haven't been on the lookout already?"

"Nah. No one is good enough, I need someone already familiar with state affairs and such," he said, wrinkling his nose sourly at the thought. But then he cast his eyes on you.

"And frankly, you are my standard," he fixed you a meaningful smile. "No one comes close. If you weren't betrothed to the Zen'in back then, I'd have proposed you in a heartbeat."

Thump. Thump. Thump. Your dead heart suddenly came to life. Gojo Satoru had just confessed his affections for you so candidly, and it got you thinking how much easier your life would be with him. He would love you, take care of you...

And beguile you.

His eyes fondly crinkled at you. "You are everything I desire in a woman to be my wife."

He adores you so easily, so fluidly... and yet, Naoya, who has you fully, is throwing you away.

Satoru observed how your face fell once again, just as it had during the New Year's ball. And now he knew, it was because you were facing your impending divorce.

But he wasn't going to tell you that, instead, he would willingly be your confidant and offer you his very being. He was about to crack a joke to lift your spirits, when you blurted—

"What if I said... I want to be your empress?" you kept your pace, not looking at him at all. "What if I said... I'll leave everything and come to you?"

Huh? What…?

That was loaded. Have you entertained the thought too? Satoru had craved the very idea for so long he didn’t even miss a beat—

“Then I’d marry you.” His voice was straight and true, shooting straight to the most tender part of you that Naoya had torn to shreds. “If you become my empress… that will make me the happiest man alive.”

No hesitation. It almost reduced you to tears. You stopped where you stood, willing yourself not to tremble. There is still one person who sees this much value in you.

“Then I’ll be yours,” you breathed out. “I’ll be your empress, Satoru.”

Satoru could've sworn time had stopped. If one moment ago, you looked like you were about to shatter, now you were a vision of the dignified and perfect queen he had always known you were.

“I’ll be your queen— your everything.” You declared, locking eyes with him, the intensity of your gaze not escaping him.

How many years had he dreamed of this moment? How many long nights had he endured, yearning for you, knowing you were beyond his reach?

Finally, finally... Satoru grinned, swearing to all the divine beings out there that he had never known how liberating it was to finally have what he wanted. “That would be my greatest honor.”

He drew you close—you let him—and after one second of taking in your enchanting eyes, he crashed his lips against yours.

His lips started soft and gentle, then became fiery as his tongue met yours. He pulled you closer, one arm around your waist and the other holding the back of your head. You responded eagerly, pressing against him, fingers tracing his neck and feeling the lines of his undercut.

One is finally having the woman he had wanted for so long, and the other was plotting her escape from her misery.

You were using him. He knew it. Yet, he didn't care. Hidden behind bushes and vines, you shared your very first heated kiss, aware that this moment would leave its mark as both the greatest stain and triumph in your lives.

And when he finally pulled away, lips swollen and wet, with a wolfish grin, he promised you once again—

“Give me everything that is yours... and I swear on my life, I will do everything to turn your life into a living dream.”

“Empress, your husband His Majesty the Emperor, has requested a divorce.”

It was how your once pristine life transformed into the scandal of the century inside the courthouse.

"If you accept this petition, then you will no longer be the Empress of Eastern Empire. You will lose all the rights you have as a senior member of the imperial family..."

You donned your finest attire—the intricate crimson and black dress you had designed and commissioned the dressmaker to create. Today, faced with Naoya's divorce decree, it would be the last time you adorned the colors of his empire.

"The ties that bound you together as husband and wife would be severed—"

Good riddance, you thought.

"If this is not what you want, you have the right to—"

"I accept the divorce."

Your voice cut through the heavy solemness of the witnesses and turned them into a mass of disbelief. You disregarded Naoya's smirk and held the priest's gaze. "And I demand an immediate approval for my remarriage."

The crowd was in for a second wave of uproar when you boldly stood your ground, and they erupted into clamors once again when Satoru made his grand entrance and took his place beside you.

"You—!" Naoya was so furious that he roared. "This is my empire!"

"And?" Satoru challenged with a dauntless smile. "I'm here to propose, and since she accepts your divorce request, I believe she has no relations with you any longer and is free to marry someone else."

You remained motionless, until your cold fingers met warmth when Satoru linked his hand with yours reassuringly.

"This is treachery! I won't fucking permit it!" Naoya hollered as he faced the high priest, who had a grim face while observing this three-way headlock between the three of you.

"Emperor Naoya, that matter falls into the jurisdiction of the church." The high priest let out a sigh and then turned to you, assessing your calm gaze.

Regardless, Naoya paid him no mind. "I refuse to grant you any permission to remarry! You will be banished to the cold palace until the rest of your pitiful days! Not only do you fail miserably by being barren beyond help, you also dare to whore yourself—" he was now rambling curses at you before everyone in the court, and it pierced you deeply—

Until Satoru tugged you behind him, so that you wouldn't have to see his face any longer.

"High priest!" Satoru's voice blared as he clenched his jaw, irate at the string of profanities directed at you. "Do you still truly believe that the deposed empress can't remarry? When she has suffered through this man's downright betrayal?"

Your head was spinning. You wanted this whole ordeal to be over already.

And thankfully, even the high priest saw reason, that you were undeserving of this debacle. In the end, his words held more weight than anyone else's, even Naoya's.

"I accept Empress Y/N petition to marry Emperor Satoru!"

In the chaos of the courthouse after the high priest granted your wish, Naoya shook his head in disbelief, looking at both of you with intense disdain.

"You've always wanted that wench, haven't you, Gojo?" Naoya cackled with a malice you would never have expected from someone who had been your husband for ten years.

You had tuned out all the noise. This dumpster fire was too much even for you. But then, you felt a strong arm enveloping you, sealing your fate as the match made in this courtroom—

"I have, yeah," Satoru replied with a smug grin. "And now that she is mine... it's just the beginning of your downfall, Zen'in."

Your wedding banquet in Western Empire lasted a week long.

True to his promise, Satoru spared no effort to make you happy. The moment he brought you to his palace, he ordered immediate plans for wedding celebrations. Make it grand, make it unforgettable... he took charge himself.

And on the final, seventh day, as you were about to be formally crowned as the empress of the western lands, you were stunned.

"This is your coronation dress, Empress," your new lady-in-waiting, Shoko, said with pride. "Gojo— I mean, His Majesty, specifically has his late mother's dress altered to suit you."

You promised yourself that you would no longer wear any shades of crimson. As much as you loved the color, it reminded you too much of your homeland and Naoya. No matter how much you despised him now, once upon a time, he was everything you loved and more.

And you thought you couldn't possibly love another color until you saw the extravagant navy dress in your chamber. Made of luxurious satin and adorned with literal diamonds, it shimmered under the light and flowed gracefully with layers of brocade cascading to the floor.

To give you something so valuable... You had expected to enter into a marriage out of necessity, but your new husband had no intention of ceasing his ways to win your heart.

If it's with him, maybe... just maybe...

Today is the day.

Satoru sat on his throne before his court in the grand hall of his audience chamber. His hair was pulled back, and he was dressed in his official attire, robe of silk and a crown made of pure gold.

Next to him, another resplendent crown adorned with jewels and diamonds shimmered in the light—the empress' crown. Your crown.

Today was the day this empire would truly acknowledge his queen. He stole a glance at you on his other side, and his breath was taken away.

With your hair tucked into an elegant updo, you were the very vision of a fairytale queen. You were incredibly stunning, almost otherworldly— shade of blue suited you as much as crimson did, just as he thought.

This day would go down in history. But before that, he would ensure that the news would reach Zen'in Naoya. He would spite him so hard.

"Today marks a momentous occasion. We gather here to celebrate not only my marriage and my new wife's coronation," Satoru glanced at his audience with a smirk, his expression widening as he spotted his best friends Suguru and Shoko. "But also the start of her reign... and as we know it already, her fame and beauty are second to none."

The crowd burst into giggles, clearly aware of his scandal at the Eastern Empire's courthouse. And even you smiled.

Satoru shrugged, playfully rolling his eyes. "Spare me, I'm a newlywed, after all. Anyway..." His gaze shifted to the intricate crown, a relic of his late mother's, and then back to you. "Come."

You knelt before your new husband, bowing your head. The whirlwind journey from the East, your remarriage to Satoru... It had all felt surreal until this moment. Now, the weight of reality settled upon you, almost shaking your very core—

But just as the thought crossed your mind, Satoru placed the crown upon your head. As the jewels settled into place and you rose to face the crowd, his voice cut through the air:

"And here I present to you, your new empress!"

The room erupted in applause, the cheers echoing around you. Everyone congratulated you without fail, and your breath was taken away.

It was a sight beyond belief, as they chanted your name, over and over again—

“ALL HAIL THE EMPRESS!”

"I have something for you!"

You wouldn't expect that you would ditch your last night of wedding celebrations along with your husband, and yet here you were, led by the hand by a very giddy Satoru.

"Where are we going?" you questioned him, your pretty dress sweeping the halls in a rush.

He turned to you to send you a wink. "Trust me, sweetheart. You'll love it."

Somehow the way he called you made your heart thump a little faster inside your ribcage. This man is really, truly, your husband now.

He was such a refreshing person, it almost made you let go of everything that molded you into the perfect empress in the east, and be just... you.

"Here." Both of you stopped in front of a grand door, and he ushered you inside. "Come, come~"

A study, you realized as you stepped inside, but then a gasp left your lips—

"How do you find it, hmm?" Satoru put an arm around your waist, proud of how the burgundy walls and mats enveloped the entire space, creating a tranquil sight that perfectly matched your taste.

It was so much like your private study in the Eastern Empire's palace. You might now hate that place, but your private study was filled with the memories of smiles while writing back to Satoru's letters and waiting for his cat to come. And to have this now in your new home...

"You remembered..." you looked up to him, almost tearing up.

"Of course I do," he pressed a kiss on your temple. "I said that so long as you're with me, I'll turn your dream into reality, didn't I?"

This man really treasures you, or at least that was what his actions had proven so far.

"You're everything I've ever wanted and more," Satoru said, wrapping his arms around you from behind in a warm embrace. "You might not realize it, but I've been in love with you since you first visited western lands."

"What?" you turned to him with genuine confusion. "How?"

"That blind boy who you led by the hand... he had no friends," Satoru sighed against you. "The first and only person who asked him if he was lost... is you."

Suddenly, you were thrown back in time to your first encounter with Satoru many years ago. He was known as "cursed" for being born with peculiar eyes, had been blind for a period of his childhood, before he awakened the true extent of those brilliant blue eyes and brought his clan to power by wielding them.

Back then, you thought it was wrong for him to be left alone, so you took him by the hand and escorted him back to the palace, unaware that he was the infamously cursed crown prince.

"You made me feel less lonely. And I thought then... someday, somehow... through some sort of miracle in which I regained my eyesight and could see you... I'd immediately ask for your hand."

But you were named the crown princess of the Eastern Empire. The thought of how crushed Satoru must have felt upon hearing the news pricked at your heart.

You felt soft, you felt loved, and most of all, you felt an overwhelming certainty that with this man by your side, you would finally experience the genuine love that had been missing from your life for so long.

"You have me now," you whispered in response.

Unlike your first kiss in the winery village, this time, you were the one who faced him and pulled him into a searing kiss.

Be it impulse, overwhelming feelings or something else... you didn't care. You just want him.

And wouldn't you know, your new husband... is also a wonderful, dashing lover.

"You're so... fucking beautiful..." Satoru's lips were on yours, claiming them with a fierce passion that left you breathless. His hands roamed your body, tracing each curves and lines.

You moaned into his mouth, clutching his robes. He captured your wrists with one hand, using the other to tilt your head back so he could leave bruises on your neck in the process, making you moan.

"Keep making that sound, yeah?" Satoru rasped, his hot breath giving you goosebumps. "Keep me going with your voice."

As he gripped your waist, it dawned to him once again that you were here, with him.

Seeing his colors on you ignited desire straight to his cock. His empress was stunning, more so now than ever, more than any woman Satoru had ever seen.

He led you to the bed, his movements urgent yet tender. The air was thick with desire as you lay back, pulling him down with you. You arched your back, pressing yourself closer to him, craving more.

This wasn't your first time, yet you had never been this excited before. From heated kisses until somehow managing to get rid of your underwear and left you in your dress... your body nearly thrashed in response.

"Look at you... An queen of two empires, yet rendered putty in my hands," Satoru wickedly grinned as he slipped a hand under your dress, rubbing his thumb teasingly over your clit. You let out a soft sigh at the prodding. You were getting wetter by each second... and Satoru felt his cock straining against the tight material of his dress pants.

"More..." you pleaded, arching your hips. "More...!"

Any of your wishes would be his command, so he pushed two fingers inside you at once, and you let out an erotic gasp. Satoru was so close to tearing his pants off by seeing how tight you clenched around his digits.

Breathy moans fell from your lips with each harsh brush of his thumb over your clit, his fingers fucking you fast—

"Satoru...!" you shuddered, gripping his shoulders as you became limp and came into his hands in spurts.

"My queen..." he then captured your lips in a brash kiss, and you reciprocated it. He pulled away only to press his forehead against yours in an attempt to calm his raging heart. "No matter what."

His watery, sparkling eyes was mesmerizing to you, and you took one breath before you crashed your lips into his, tangling your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer.

"As pretty as you look in this, I'm going to take it off," Satoru murmured with a meaningful smirk, slowly undoing the laces of your dress. "I want to see you completely naked... just for me."

Soon, you laid bare, and the cold air made your body shiver. Satoru clenched his jaw tightly at the scrumptious sight.

It was almost difficult for him to take in all of you at once—your flushed cheeks, swollen lips, erect nipples, and legs spread wantonly for him. Satoru had been here so many times in his dreams, and to see it becoming reality...

"If back then, you had chosen me instead—" he sounded almost heartbroken, which startled you. "I would have treated you right from the start—"

You looked up to him. "You would..."

"Don't you know how many years... I've been just there— watching you and that bastard? Knowing I can do even more than him?"

"Mhm..."

You rose, tugging him closer, before you unclasped his robe, letting it fall to the floor. "Satoru... right now... I'm yours."

He allowed you to undress him and soon he too was out of his stuffy royal attire. Your eyes wandered on each part of his body you touched. His chiseled body, snow-like skin, and then the hardened bulge that sprung out the moment you undid his pants—

The sight of his cock alone only turned you on even more. You gently gripped the glistening head, running a thumb over the tip before gliding your hand towards the base of his length. With a gentle rhythm, your hand moved from base to tip in a slow, teasing motion... before pecking his head.

"Yeah... you're right." His eyes never left yours, admiring you as if you were the most precious gemstone, before catching you off guard. While you rubbed him, he snaked a hand around your waist, pulling you so that you tumbled on top of him.

You moaned loudly as his cock—big, both in length and width—entered you, his hands gripping your thighs to spread them apart so he can shove himself deeper.

You felt so, so full, as you pulled Satoru to you tightly, groaning into his shoulder. And he started to set the pace, moving against you.

"Ahh," you moaned out shakily, fingers clawing into his back. To him, the sounds you made drew him in like a siren's song, it made him throb inside you. "Ahh—hngh!"

"Feel good?" he asked, voice sultry and deep, as he thrusted into you particularly harder, causing you to stifle a moan. "Let it out—hah—sweetheart... I want to hear you, hmm?"

And you did. You felt hot. Your unabashed, nasty sounds with each thrust drove him to the edge. With every lift of your hips, you squeezed him so tightly it almost made his head spin. His breaths came in short pants too.

"You fit me so damn well," he groaned, holding your hips hard enough to leave imprints of his fingers. "So fine..."

One woman. It took just one woman—you—to unravel him like this.

"Satoru, harder—" You commanded, wrapping your arms around his neck even as you trembled. "N-not enough... harder!"

He actually had to swallow, because you and your pussy felt so damn tantalizing. "As you wish, Your Majesty."

He slammed his hips against yours twice—no, thrice the previous speed, and you incoherently squealed. The squelching sound of your hips slamming against each other, and the immense wetness coming out where you two were joined... it was clear: you were addicted.

"Did Naoya ever make you feel as good as I do you now?" he drawled, sinking into you impossibly deeper, squeezing your left mound and flicking your right nipple at the same time. "Did he... ever make you ride him like this?" And then he instantly regretted his words.

Because the moment he said that, you felt cold, reminded of nights in which Zen'in Naoya grabbed you just to forcefully breed you. You winced, and Satoru caught it.

"I..." you shifted your gaze away from him, and he could've sworn that it was sorrow he saw flashing in your pretty eyes. "I-I... don't want to talk about him..."

Feeling remorseful, Satoru reached for the back of your neck and pulled you to him, kissing your lips softly. "I'm sorry—"

"You don't have to—"

"Tonight, I'll make you scream my name so hard you'll forget him," he promised as he pulled away from you, his eyes darkening. "Tonight, give me everything and I'll show you how a man truly loves his woman."

And he followed through. He worshipped you meticulously, treating your body with the reverence one might bestow upon delicate glass. He peppered kisses on every inch of your skin he could reach, lips and tongue trailing down, his relentless thrusts so well-paced and brutal at the same time.

"I'm— close!" You whimpered, and yet still grinding your hips against him. He was watching your every move, every wave of pleasure that was evident on your face— committing it to memory for those moments when he couldn't hold you close.

You gasped—as a mind-blowing orgasm then ripped out of your very being, your hips faltering as you surrendered to ecstasy with a cry of his name, coming all over him. "Satoru... Satoru! Ahhh!"

And Satoru kept his gaze on your face as he too busted inside of you hard, feeling himself filling your womb with his essence, his hands kept your waist steady, memorizing the way your lips part and the way your body went limp into him with satisfaction.

Dear heavens, I love you. The sight of you was nothing but perfection, and with everything he had, he was very sincere when he said—

"You're flawless, sweetheart."

2 MONTHS LATER

"If you give me a son, I'll throne you as the empress right on that very day."

The Eastern Empire's palace was bustling as the royal consort's screams echoed through the halls. The day Naoya had been eagerly awaiting had arrived—his mistress was delivering his heir.

Yet unbeknownst to him, whispers in the dark suggested the royal baby was arriving suspiciously early. Many, still mourning the previous empress who had been dethroned so abruptly, were not exactly thrilled with this turn of events.

"My lady, just a little bit more!" the maid encouraged. Hanabi strained once again as the pain peaked and her body spasmed, letting out the loudest wail as the baby finally slid out of her.

"W-what... is it?" on the brink of passing out, Hanabi asked anyone who might hear her. She had to know, for she was so close to obtaining her throne—

"It's a girl, my lady!" the midwife announced.

What?

Her world crumbled at that very moment. A girl? A girl can't be the heir!

She wanted to sob, to utterly mourn, and right at this moment she was full of fear, because if Naoya knew—!

Like a curse, he suddenly made his presence known in the birthing chamber. His face scrunched in distaste at the scent of blood filling the air. He took one look at Hanabi, tearful and frazzled after the ordeal, then turned to the midwife, who was trembling at his presence.

"A baby girl, Your Majesty."

In that instant, fury flashed through him. He shot everyone in the room a glare before his eyes settled on his consort, full of spite.

"You useless tramp."

Your life with Satoru in Western Empire was wonderful.

He was everything Naoya was not. Satoru adored you, prioritized your well-being and happiness, often humored you, and made your days an endless delight.

And dare you say... you had begun to return his affections as well.

How could you not? Everything he did, he did with you in mind. He eased you into your position so seamlessly, and soon you found your place comfortably at court.

"He is mixing pleasure with his kingly duties," Suguru grumbled, watching his best friend order the gardeners to plant more blue roses simply because you mentioned finding them beautiful earlier. "Empress, you have to keep a tight grip on his leash."

"Well, at least he's happy." Shoko shrugged and nudged you. "Can't you see by now? How much of a loser he is for you?"

You did see him—a man who showed you everything he had. He had given you everything you unknowingly needed.

And you just wished... you could return the same for him. It still made you bitter, knowing you might never be able to give him heirs due to your condition.

. . .

"Sweetheart... what's on your mind, hmm?"

You looked up to him as he pressed a kiss on your cheek, an arm securely around you, sweaty and panting after your steamy session.

With his hair down and messy after you yanked him earlier, your lips curved into a genuine smile. "You look hot like this, you know?"

He clicked his tongue. "Hmm, I am, of course. But no use in changing topics, I know you well enough now."

Your bare body was pressed against his chest, fingertips tracing gentle lines on his skin.

"There's a possibility that... I can't give you any children." You almost felt ashamed saying this to him, unable to look at him in the eye. "I-I... I've failed for many years—"

"Hush," he silenced you with a finger to your lips, his expression firm. "No thinking that, yeah? I don't care."

"But—"

"Children are gifts," he said then, caressing your face tenderly. "It's not up to us to control how it'll take or not. And I married you not because I want heirs or such—I love you, you know?"

Your glassy eyes met his, and you willed yourself not to shed a tear.

He grinned cheekily. "Besides, you've felt it yourself—my sexual potency is undeniable. And I don't believe for a second, that you're what that bastard claimed you to be. I bet he's the one who is impotent—"

"Satoru! You're so obscene—!" you giggled freely and poked his chest.

At that time, you were just relieved that he didn't mind. Though it was still weighing in your mind on some days, you felt a newfound sense of liberation compared to when you were still in the Eastern Empire.

But you were in for another plot twist. Perhaps Satoru is correct, and your doubts are unfounded...

"Ugh..."

Your stomach churned in discomfort, a sickening nausea that seemed to twist your insides and threaten to force its way up. This had happened for days now.

You wanted to find a physician before Satoru was aware of your state. You didn't dare to hope or speculate, because you were tired of it by this point. You just wanted clarity.

Yet, the physician's words left you speechless.

"Your Majesty... it seems that you are with child," he remarked in wonder as he assessed your vein. "Yes, definitely. You are with child."

It was a revelation you hadn't expected. For years, you had been convinced that you were unable to conceive, but now...

You were carrying a new life. Yours and Satoru's.

You felt like bursting with joy as you made your way to his study. Your heart swelled with an overwhelming sense of happiness. Above anything else, you were eager to share this news with him—

...until everything you had known turned on its axis once again.

Right before you went past the ajar door, you saw a glimpse of your husband and his most trusted confidant, overhearing snippets of their conversation:

"Satoru, however you look at it, this is tantamount to declaring war," Suguru sighed, clearly at odds with his perspective. "It's not wise."

"We can finally put an end to them this way," Satoru's tone was steely as he moved a chess piece across the map, positioning it on the border between east and west. "No better time than now."

"The Empress will face the greatest backlash from this. They'll accuse her of being vengeful enough to provoke an attack on her home country—"

"On the contrary, her presence will encourage those still loyal to her to defect. That's why I have her here. We need defectors—"

You let out a choked gasp, backing away from the door in shock. For one good minute, you refused to comprehend what Satoru was implying.

. . .

. . .

Did your new husband... marry you for his own hidden agenda?

Random art

The next best thing.

✿ Remember to read part one first! 

❀ Prologue/summary: Desperate to get away from your memory of Scaramouche, you left in search of a new beginning. Can you really escape your past with him as easily as it is ideal?

❀ Pairing(s): Harbinger! Scaramouche x gn! reader

❀ Themes/warnings: Spoilers for Scaramouche’s backstory/main archon quest, mentions of violence, Angst.

❀ Doll’s note: Ahh hello! ( ･∀･)/ Sorry for the wait, but I’m really excited to finally present what I’ve been working on! Some of your replies gave me a good chuckle, they’re really motivating! But seriously, thank you<3

❀ word count: 2.2k

✿ masterlist (not yet posted) ✿ requested by: N/A, original concept 

It’s been around a week since your last encounter with Scaramouche. 

The plentiful amount of time to yourself has allowed you to reflect on all the poor decisions that led you to your current position. Love has truly made you lose sight of who you were and blinded you from your original motives. It was something that you, out of all people, could never have imagined falling victim to.

The passing fields you’re walking through were finally losing their familiarity, as the only thing pushing you to keep on moving is the wish to be somewhere far from a place that reminded you of your shared memories with him. Over time it has been cultivating many mixed emotions, which, although intense, you couldn’t quite identify as good or bad ones. All of it together was becoming incredibly frustrating because feeling so much emotion has always been foreign to you.

Despite your pitiful situation, the archons seemed to do their damn best to send even more troubles your way. You were just oh-so-lucky enough to receive your very own version of typical winter Inazuma weather on your way out, which was somehow even more unforgiving than usual. 

Perhaps as a means to cope with your pain, you were slowly starting to grow numb to hurting. You quickly went from mourning over your loss to seeing red all around you. Every misfortune you experienced throughout your travels was his fault to begin with, it only made sense that the grief gradually seeped in as anger. It was all too overbearing, your sanity was merely hanging on by a thread.

“Mercy… please.. archons… save me….”

It only enraged you further to watch the treasure hoarder before you to plead for mercy after witnessing the brutal deaths of their comrades. He was just like you to Scaramouche, a pathetic resemblance of someone who thought they were special enough to be granted an exception. 

When the glowing ashes of his corpse dissipated away, silence took over in your returning solitude. You thought your mind would finally be relieved of this frustration, for you to be finally feeling something else, anything else after murdering those pitiful people. 

Why has it done absolutely nothing? 

“I thought I heard people yelling here but I don’t seem to see anyone else, are you alright miss?” A male voice spoke out from behind you. 

The man introduced himself as Tighnari, an Avidya Forest Watcher who was in the middle of a research report on the nearby area. The sudden realization that you’ve already made it to Sumeru makes you wonder how you even lasted so long without resting.

“It’s our responsibility to aid travelers in need.” 

He smiled gently as he offered you a hand. You eyed his tall animal ears with a moment’s curiosity before getting up yourself, dusting off your clothes from the debris of your short-lived battle. 

It took quite a bit of unwanted conversation to cover up your deeds, you didn’t want to stir up additional commotion to the situation at hand. Yes, treasure hoarders weren’t the best kind of people but that alone was no justification for being the subject of your wrath.

“I was.. just looking for something to eat.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie, it’s been about three days since the time you last ate. Even so, that instance could barely even be referred to as a proper meal because berries aren’t considered the most satiating. 

Tighnari took pity upon your weak appearance and offered to take you back to Gandharva Ville with him. Despite the fact that you didn’t want to follow him at first, you can only ignore your looming exhaustion so many times until your body eventually gives out. You might be tough, but still human nonetheless. With the help of his assistant, he provided you with medical supplies and dinner, which you hesitantly accepted. 

The next two months went by rather slowly. You have begun to live amongst the rest of the people in Gandharva Ville along with Tighnari and Collei, as a forest ranger yourself. It wasn’t a job that made the most out of your vision potential, but you had nothing to use them for anyway. Your past with the Fatui and Scaramouche has been less insistent on plaguing your mind once you settled down in a new environment, it was a pleasant change of pace. Your heart was gathering up its pieces, yet the emptiness you’ve felt before has made its way back into your daily routine. This peaceful way of living would always be infinitely better than the mental torment that he would have put you through.

Anything would be better than that, right?

It wasn’t until you heard his name again, that you have managed to keep your emotions at bay. 

The sages from the Akademiya have come to attempt to convince Tighnari to return to Sumeru city. The prestigious institution took notice of his exceptional intellect and thought of his current position as a waste of his talents as a scholar. It just seemed like a minor inconvenience at first, so you decided to tend to your assigned duties a little earlier.

Just as you were returning to deliver your updated report to Tighnari, the sages were on their way out. You were just about to dismiss their presence when you overheard a familiar name.

“Dr. Dottore needs us to go later tonight, to help with their project with the Balladeer.”

“His name was Scaramouche, right?”

Your report scattered all across the forest path, your trembling fingers unable to hold on to their delicate pages at what you just heard. You could feel your chest begin to heave rapidly as your mind became a jumbled mess. Everything to do with this man should have been behind you, never to reappear in your thoughts again, so why now?

Why?

Why, why, WHY?

You had to find out for what wretched reason the Akademiya was included in a scheme associating with such a painful part of your memory, so you abandoned your original plans to follow them back into the city.

It turns out that the sages have been working together with Dottore in the late stages of developing Scaramouche’s artificial god form. You didn’t know what your plan was before, but it was never your goal to come this close to actually encountering him.

…

You stepped into the forest cavern, right before where he is held from the information you collected. Do you really want to see him again? Why are you even here?

In spite of the voices in your head, his face etched itself into your mind. You were brimming with emotions, your weakness for the man never left you after all. 

There wasn’t much logic left behind your thoughts, the only force driving your actions being an unreasonable craving. You revealed the hidden entrance by copying the procedure you witnessed Dotorre perform earlier, taking a final deep breath before crossing the threshold. 

Your steps echoed throughout the large chambers of the Joururi Workshop, examining the large pieces of what you assumed were unfinished equipment in their creation of this “artificial god”. The Fatui really does work quickly, you’d at least have to give them credit for their efficiency.

“(y/n)?”

Your heart stopped the moment you heard your name, but not because of how it belonged to you.

“What are you doing here?”

You turned to face the black-haired harbinger, the one that you only ever allowed yourself to remember in your dreams. 

He looked just as gorgeous as before. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash, the sound of thunder hitting the spot where you once were before your reflexes barely preserved your life.

“What a coward you are, showing up before I can even finish my project.”

You hid behind a pile of various mechanical materials, trying to process the fact that Scaramouche was now trying to kill you. It shouldn’t be the most surprising because of how you acted during your last meeting. 

“I guess I should finally pay you back for being so disrespectful, hmm?”

Scaramouche’s laugh was dripping with poison, making your reality now clear.

You were just so sick of it all, you were never going to find peace with the presence of this awful man’s existence in Teyvat. Your suppressed feelings after so long, resurfaced as the same bloodlust you felt the day you met those poor treasure hoarders. 

“I have been dying to see you, Scara.”

You approached him with a smile, the rest of the confrontation was merely a blur.

…

The sword that was given to you on the same day you joined the Fatui, was now pierced through your former superior’s chest. His eyes widened, unsure of how he had ended up being on the losing end of this exchange. After all, he never paid any attention to your abilities, if only he was as observant of you as you were of him back then. You knew of his every blind spot, every little weakness that bought you just an adequate amount of time to pin him right where you wanted him. 

It was an extensive fight where you applied all those years of experience by his side, performing the final accumulation of your feelings as a rendezvous of death. 

I have always been watching you.

You dug your blade further in, causing his legs to give out and collapse to the ground. It was far from what would kill him instantaneously due to his lack of a real heart, but enough to sufficiently incapacitate him.

I have always longed for you.

You kneeled next to him, watching his surprise twisting into rage. Shadows from his hair cast over his face as he gritted his teeth.

But I can’t have you.

“I was so close…”

So I’ll choose the next best thing.

His frame shook when his devastated eyes stared into yours.

“I WAS SO CLOSE DAMNIT, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO RUIN IT?”

He was lashing out at you now, upon the realization that his premature death would ultimately rip him away from what was about to be his godhood. He screamed hateful, terrible, words at you. Yet, you still pitied his helpless state.

He has never been kind to you, barely even grateful for anything you’ve ever managed to accomplish for him.. Yet there were moments when he appeared so lonely. He was like a lost soul craving for something beyond what he felt was even possible, hence his want to reshape a new world.

Tears were streaming down his face, his crying voice now barely above a whisper due to the spreading fatigue. You could tell he no longer had the energy to be angry, and gently held his hand in yours. He wept quietly on the floor, relishing in your comfort within his vulnerable state. 

You were aware of the three betrayals that shaped Scaramouche into the bitter person he was. He suffered being the abandoned subject of his creator, being viewed as if his existence as a monstrosity by the only friend he’s ever made, and the loss of a child he’s come to care for after making unkept promises to one another. You didn’t want him to have nobody in his final moments, despite his flawed pessimism, and no matter how bad he used to treat you.

You both savored the stillness of the Joururi workshop’s solitude, that is until he was the one to break the silence, much to your surprise.

“..Why do you think my creator has yet to get rid of me, to allow me to wander as far out of her grasp as to even become a harbinger?” 

He was now reflecting in deep thought, the focus of his gaze on the intricate ceiling of the domain. It’s like he read your mind.

“…My former friend might have been right, for me to have soon become someone who hurt the lives of so many.”

You didn’t expect him to ever find forgiveness, for him to finally realize that there is more to living creatures than just misery. The hopeful glint in his eyes vastly differed from the characteristics you’ve come to know rather well. 

“…I suppose the boy’s mortality wasn’t necessarily his fault, it was cruel of me to shift the blame for my loss on him.”

He finished his declaration with a small sad chuckle, a genuine one. 

“…hey.. (y/n).”

He called out to you, asking why you continue to remain by his side after his continuous exploitation of your feelings. 

You explained to him that you cannot pick and choose what you feel. Why  people care so much about seemingly unreasonable emotions was something you couldn’t comprehend either. 

This was something only he has been able to have taught you for the first time in your life, but you kept that last part to yourself. His cold fingers gave yours a light squeeze, and your chest tightened at his melancholic expression.

“For my new understanding, I’m eternally grateful to you.”

His chest rose and fell slowly, his trembling gradually coming to a halt.Turns out your efforts have brought him peace, one that he was unable to achieve on his own.

“……Maybe things would be different for us if I was born human too.”

With those words, he used the last of his strength. You felt his hand loosen its grip on yours, as he succumbed to his rest. You’ve helped him move on from his past and achieve his true goal, to see a world that wasn’t just filled with deceit and lies. What a truly bittersweet way for your first love to come to an end.

..But what was in it for me?

A sob escaped your throat as you cradled his unconscious form, hushed cries escalating into painful wails that resounded in the large room. 

You refused to leave his side for hours after, you weren’t ready to part with him just yet. Your reunion was so brief after all.

…

Small taps of footsteps were heard behind you as you came face-to-face with a little, white-haired girl.

“(y/n), right?”

@ 𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘳 | please credit if reposted! ♡

✿ Taglist: @smdroplvr @niasyndrome @shotgunsona @bananapowersrangers @ki–mi​

Just found out this is donna

---

𝐈 𝐒𝐞𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝄞

Genre: fluff, slight angst, slight smut

Characters: Yoshida Hirofumixfem!studentreader

Warning: possessiveness, stalker, death, blood, gore, mature scene, knife, underage drinking

Synopsis: It's a typical student falling in love the most popular student, but nothing is ordinary when she finds the truth.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The morning breeze outside woke you up, slightly shivery despite wearing a coat that you mother insisted you to wear. She was afraid you'd catch cold and have red nose the whole day would make you look like Rudolph the red nose reindeer.

You shook your head thinking how your sibling would tease for having red nose, it's stupid but he's only young he'd pick on you just as much you tease him whenever his crush was around. You stuffed your hands inside your pocket slightly cursing to the weather it wasn't helping.

You could only wish you could stay inside your warm bed and just sleep, but you didn't you chose to go to school since you knew missing school for the fifth time wasn't a good idea and you were behind your classes, you walked to school with you head down since you were pushing yourself to at least be productive since the past few days you were burnt out.

Especially when you have classmate who ask you to do their essays and other homework, you earn money from doing so but honestly it was taking so much of your time that you end up sleeping late or sleepless nights.

You hid this from your parents, after all they don't want to see their daughter was being treated like this afterall you were invincible to everyone, maybe the teachers don't care if you still don't show up to class today, that made you stop right in front of you school, few minutes before the bell rings you still debated over the fact of leaving or staying.

As you turned around you suddenly bumped into someone chest.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." You rubbed your forehead as you felt his hands on your shoulder, you looked up meeting a black haired boy with piercings on, his eyes met yours before he smiles at you.

Rubbing the back of his neck as he was seemingly flustered.

"Are you okay?" You simply nodded, you were lost for words he was just incredibly good looking he swiftly moves away past you as he walks inside your feet just moves on it's own.

You changed your shoes before heading to your class, you seat behind the class, it was right next to the trash can but somehow it wasn't so bad after all it gives you the view watching the trees sway and the cloudy sky. You mutter 'excuse me' as you make your way back, just as you place your bad down students came to your direction dumping their notes books on your table. You flinched with their slamming carelessly, you knew the drill it means to do their homework.

The girls snickered at your pathetic state, you could do was stare just as the bell rings again your homeroom teacher came in. The class representative stood up as everyone follows. You quickly gather the notebooks away from your desk but one had fallen the other boys looked at you before they roll their eyes.

"You may all sit down." The teacher announces. You were about to reach down for the notebook but suddenly you felt a hand tug your hair harshly, you let out a whimper.

"Hey, you better not mess this up just because you've been gone for awhile this doesn't stop." The teacher's eyes fell on to your direction but she couldn't see clearly what was the ruckus going on at the back.

"Himari-san what's going on over there?" Her voice was stern rather than caring, she quickly retracted her hand as she pat the back of your head little bit harsh, too much damn volleyball her hand was heavy.

"Nothing, I was watching over her head since she was dangerously close to get hit by my desk." She gave her a wide smile, the teacher took a quick glance at you as you took the notebook inside your bag. She quickly averted her eyes away but the girl beside you gave you a death look before showing you her middle finger.

You felt tears were about to fall from your eyes, you hid your hands under your desk as you clutch on your skirt trying to fight away the need to cry.

Just before that, there was a sudden knocking.

The door opened showing the principal with two boys behind him, the principal greeted the class then the two student followed behind him.

"These two gentlemen will be joining you, take care of them." The principal bid good luck before waving as he walks out, the homeroom teacher encourages the two new student to greet themselves.

"Hello, I'm Denji." The boy with blond scruffy hair tiredly wave, the boy beside him was the one who I bumped into just this morning.

"Hello, I'm Yoshida Hirofumi, please take care of me." He smiled just then the girls started shrieking over, even Himari was clearly drooling over him.

Instead of staring I just looked away, not long after he might start joining everyone else dumping homework, essays maybe even ask for cheat sheet in exams. I was ready to expose everyone but I couldn't I was a coward, I don't want my father to lose his job nor my mother to get called by harsh names neither do I want my brother to lose all his friends.

It's such a unjust life, I hate everything yet it never stops even in my dreams I end up crying remembering that one moment things went beyond control.

ꕥ throwback ꕥ

It was November, I messed up again. I lost Mina's notebook even though I swore it might have been at my house they didn't believe me. She got scolded by our history teacher since she was the only one who didn't have homework, she blames it on me because I forgot that her homework was beside my desk, she cussed, hit, punch and even threaten me that my father will lose his job at the corporate.

I had no power, I was weak, I don't have a title neither do I have a chance to stand against them. I cried and cried that day they followed me as I walk home, everyone was there they told me to stand on the bridge.

With shaky legs I followed, I sobbed in front of them as they only took photos and video of me. I begged them to stop, my vision was blurring as I hold tightly to the scarf my brother gave me for my birthday.

"Say it out loud! We can't hear you." One of them shouted, laughter followed.

"I'm a stupid whore, I'm useless, I'm a trash person." I shouted Mina clapped as she walked toward giving out her hand.

"I forgive you." She smiled, just then she suddenly pushed me off the bridge, before I knew it I was falling to the river. In death I never wanted it to be them the last thing I'll see, I want to hear my mother's humming her sweet melodic voice, my brother's endless teasing and he always knock on my door bidding goodnight and I'd kiss his forehead as he rubs it off, and my father. I miss our endless night ride whenever we want he'd even take me out to eat even at late nights.

But wouldn't it be better?

That I'm gone.

They won't be harmed anymore, right?

I felt something moving around me, I felt like I was floating, something moving then splashing.

It was ticklish, I slowly open my eyes I looked around and saw darkness but the water was clear, glowing as I watch thousand of koi swimming around.

"You would be a bitter on to eat." A voice echoed, I looked around only to be met by a female who was naked but her parts was covered by her long dark hair, her eyes were fully black as she has gills on the side of her cheeks, her pointed nose and large fangs that was peaking out of her crimson lips.

She was pale yet with her grisly appearance she look rather elegant yet terrifying.

"I can smell your anger from here, it follows with sadness. I prefer to eat men however my children deliver a woman instead." Her slim pointed fingers caress the koi that swims in her direction.

"I guess you and I know what it feels to be alone. Suffer alone, cry alone, we never learn don't we?" Her voice was sultry, she moves closely it came to my view that her legs were covered in scale, it shimmers with holographic colors appearing she sit beside you as she carefully observes you with her fingers playing with your hair.

"I know, make a deal with me." She said, you looked at her confuse written in your eyes it cause her to giggled as she clasp her hands in delight.

"One thousand years and finally I found a perfect one. I'm the koi devil, I'm not that powerful nor harmful towards humans but I can only assure you wealth, luck and power in life." She hummed tracing her finger on you as she stop in front of you.

"You have no clue, do you?" It came out as a whisper, her face falls into sadness.

"You died, my koi took pity on you. It'd be waste for you to die now don't you think?" Just as she said that I realize I wasn't breathing.

She used her finger pointing to my chest were my heart was. Her bores into mine as she closes the gap her lips was in my ear.

"What do you say kid? Make some risk to live again, don't you want to live?"

ꕥ End of throwback ꕥ

The devil left a koi symbol on my left chest, it doesn't hurt since I have gotten use to it. I woke up in the hospital my parents were outside talking with the doctor and my little brother who was curled up beside the window I could hear him sobbing.

That day I thought meeting the koi devil was just a dream but it wasn't, they don't see it, none of them could see the koi symbol on my chest.

The deal was real she gave endless abundance in our life, a new home a new car we moved out few days after I woke up in the hospital, I move to a different school but nothing changed I was still the same I live the same life that I thought would change, money can't even buy me a new life.

I heard shuffling that instantly stopped me from spacing out.

I realized Yoshida took the seat in front of me while Denji took the seat beside him. He turned as he gave me a smile followed by a wink. I instantly place my palms on my cheeks.

I heard the girls scoff at me, just when the day continues on and the school lunch bell rings I realize I left my wallet it was in a different bag. I dislike about myself is how forgetful I can get.

"Hey aren't you going to get lunch too?" I was surprised Denji talked to me, I just shook my head. Suddenly a gurgling noise coming from stomach made me even more embarrassed.

Yoshida turned around as he place his lunch bag on my table, "I have made a lot this morning, share it with me." He hands me extra chopsticks as Denji drag his chair and sit beside the table before munching down on his own food, they shared jokes and made me laugh every second, Denji who was talking while munching as some few food particles kept spewing out of his mouth only made me laugh since Yoshida kept telling him to stop talking while eating. He even kept giving me more even when I'm starting to feel full he said that seeing me eat makes him full, I wish it stayed as this forever, Yoshida being kind and Denji won't see me different like a trash that everyone calls me.

I begged in my mind, 'please don't let this change.'

After the day, Yoshida was surrounded my girls left and right, I even got pushed and bumped into no one even apologized as they all swarmed him.

"Man, he looks ungrateful if that was me I'd never hesitate to be cocky. I'd feel like I win in life." Denji turned to you as you both walk out, he notice the amount of notebooks you have in your arms as he lend a hand to help you carry them.

But he noticed the name written in front, he can't help but wonder.

"Will you be sending this to the faculty or something? None of these are yours." He mentions, you quickly shook your head but you had no idea what to tell to Denji, you didn't even dare to think you'd tell him the truth.

You heard Yoshida calling out to the two of you, panting as he manage to escape a group of his fangirls.

"Let's go, I don't need more girls around me." The three of you ran off the voices died down, Denji walks home as Yoshida insisted walking you home.

Just as you reach to your place you were quick to bid Yoshida farewell. But he suddenly reaches out to your hand.

"Can you help me in some classes, I don't really want to be left behind plus asking Denji about school is the last thing I'll do since you saw him snoring throughout the day." You giggled as you nodded.

"Great, my place or yours?" You froze, replying 'what'

He suddenly blushed too, since the question sounded a little bit different. "I mean, we can go to a park or library maybe some-"

"I'll meet you to your place instead. My brother tend to be loud since he always bring his friends over, it will only distract us." He nodded, agreeing as he let go his hold to your wrist.

"See you tomorrow." He waves off, just when you enter you mother who was evidently smiling like a mad woman.

"Was that a boyfriend?" She giggle like a teenage girl in love.

"No, he was just nice to walk me home."

"Yeah, definitely not a friend more like boyfriend." She continued to tease.

"You know that's how I end up with your father, eleven years of friendship only after college we got you. Maybe it could be the same with him." You were blushing, as you quickly make your way upstairs.

Days passed, exams were near then after that will be a Hanabi festival you were excited and half hoping that Yoshida would ask you out.

He has been the same since day one in school, he'd walk you home, share his overloaded brought lunch he'd even make you bento, he'd pick you as his partner that makes Denji feel left out but he'd only complain that he hasn't been able to pair up with you, he'd end up getting paired by another student, Denji only likes school for food. Maybe even seeing girls during PE classes, Yoshida would drag him away since he'd be seen as a pervert. Each day felt much different it only felt different since they came, maybe life was starting to much better and that's how you want it to be even when they are the only friends you have you wouldn't dare ask for more.

Maybe you do, because it has only been days that you started to develop feelings for Yoshida. Even if girls swarmed him to no end they had no idea how he really is and you don't even dare tell them everything, you know where he lives, what his personality is like and even watched his favorite movie, he's a good cook and he makes little letters just for you encouraging to always smile.

Today you happily arrived at school, wearing you new ribbon you added light makeup and even sprayed on perfume. You don't care if girls start to push you down as a hobby you did this for Yoshida and for yourself to feel prettier.

Just as you arrived you saw it clear as day. Mina who was sitting on your table, Yoshida was happily chatting with her they were immersed in the conversation they were having. Denji who remained silent and asleep on his table, your heart shatters seeing Yoshida with the girl you hate your whole life every bit of fiber in you wants to end her and you can but you just don't want to be labelled as a killer.

" [Name]!" Your eyes met Yoshida's as he waves at you with that perfect smile, Mina did the same as if pushing you off the bridge never happened. Your body remembers the fear, the feeling and the time you were hospitalized for almost a week.

Mina quickly stood from her seat, jogging towards you as she gave you a tight hug.

"We finally meet again." She whispers to you, pulling away as she giggles. She hook her arm around yours as she tells Yoshida that you and her have been great friends but since you moved out she hasn't been able to contact you.

She kept telling so many stories about you and her, but you didn't got the nerve to stop her, she was spewing lies over lies you only stood there like a fool with lips trembling as you clenching you fist tighter each second with your nails digging deeper in your palms would leave crescent marks.

"We lost contact when she tried to end her life, we tried stopping her but [name] has always had tough life. I miss her though, she was quite handful back then." Mina crosses her legs as she bats her eyelashes, smiling every now and then.

"I see, I never knew about that. I find her incredibly amazing besides we've been seeing each other every now and then." You could hear Mina's irritation, gritting her teeth as she peers over her shoulder to look at you.

"She has no idea how lucky she is." Mina smiles at you, the day went on. Just after class you ignored Denji who doesn't even deserve the cold treatment as well but you were trying to avoid Yoshida, taking bigger steps just when you bumped into Mina and her gang, smirk painted her red lips.

You fell off landing on your butt, Mina reached out her hand causing you to flinch and back away.

But she was quick to grab a handful of your hair, as she pulls it upwards making you wince grabbing her wrist as you plead her to let go.

"No, I just want to know how the hell is this piece of trash still alive." Mina was a mad woman, but she has no idea no one does, you can't die and you won't be because that was the deal with the koi devil, live your life until you die of old age even if you get hit, beaten or bleed out the koi devil always gives you chances to be alive over and over again.

But you won't forget one thing she mentions.

"If you want power, just call out I'll help you finish those disgusting human, but just so you know I love haunting for men."

That day they dragged you by the hair to a empty room, Mina kept hitting you while others laugh, some of which helped Mina giving her a plank of wood or they threatened to burn you.

It was endless and it was painful, you just wish maybe taking the deal wasn't a bright idea. Maybe it was better if you just never live again but you would be so selfish to lave you family.

But this time instead of thinking about them you thought of Yoshida, his smile, his voice the way he looks at you with much care and sincerity it almost felt like heaven, almost because it would be whole if you finally got a kiss from him.

He makes you want to start life all over again, he was the reason why you want to be happy again. He gives comfort even in times he might have no idea you'd need it. Days were you spent inside his apartment, it was only new to you that he was the only one who treats you different even Denji.

It felt nice to be noticed.

Mina kicked your rib causing you to groan, blood coming out of your lips. They left you alone but Mina hasn't moved from her spot. She crouched down with her hand squeezing both of your cheeks making you look at her.

"Hey, Yoshida's mine." She left the silent became loud.

You couldn't move your body, you manage to roll to your side laying on your stomach but you kept coughing and moaning in pain.

Before you know it you started to lose your vision but you swore you heard someone calling you just then you passed out in the cold.

It has been another day you laid in the hospital, Denji came in with an old man with him who claims that he was Denji's guardian. Denji made chocolates and bought flowers even tons of balloons, it made you laugh but you winced since your ribs were broken.

Denji pleads to you to tell him who hurt you but you simply shook your head telling him your alright.

You would hear Yoshida's voice right outside the room asking your parents how you were, they find Yoshida as a friend of yours they were relieved to finally met one of your friends but your father wasn't fond of the idea that it had to be a man, but nonetheless your mother accepted it.

You'd pretend you were asleep when he comes in to your room, you'd hear him carefully carry a chair and sit beside the bed, that was the only time you felt him hold your hand.

It was warm and it made you feel something you can't quite explain.

Even though you were just pretending to fall asleep you wouldn't realize you were drifting off to you dreamland.

But you heard him say, "I'll never let you go, you know I can't your the only one I have left."

The day of examination came, your parents talk to the principal if you can take the exams in the hospital instead since you were still healing, they agreed but your homeroom teacher had to be present that time, it was only the first time she ever showed concern on her stoic face.

Counting down the days it was only three days away from Hanabi festival. You arrived home and your younger brother quickly jumps off to his feet giving you a hug.

Your mother scolded him to be careful, at dinner they were talking about moving out and finding a new place to stay, your father would find another job and you brother promise that when he get bigger and older he'd protect you. It was suppose to make you happy but you didn't feel anything.

It only made you feel worse, they sacrifice their lives to move out, another job, another new school, a so-called new life?

No matter how many money they earn, no matter how many times they say to move out to another home, you just felt like your life was meant to be this way and they had no idea that their daughter made a deal wit the devil.

You ran upstairs, locking you room door as you sobbed covering your face with your pillow. What felt like forever, you were staring off at the ceiling.

"Koi." You whispered.

Suddenly the room became darker and darker, it started to get cold as the candle lantern started flickering.

"You finally summoned me." A sultry voice echoed inside your room.

"I want you to fully come to me, I'll feed you my blood anytime you want." The devil snickered. She wore a rouge off shoulder kimono, her hair softly floating around her back as he left hand holds a long smoking pipe with gray smoke coming out of her crimson lips.

"I just need you to do what you want to do, I don't need your blood just find me a man to eat and stop being this pathetic. You know I saw something in you when I made that deal, I need my sacrifice!" You flinched at the last part, you fed her devils that made her disgusted with taste, she'd bathe in blood to make her young and glowing, her koi fishes swarmed around mid air as she looks stern right in front of you, her chest heaving as she lets out a disappointed noise.

Sitting down to your bed, she crosses her long arms.

"Kill them for my satisfaction even if it's a woman I'll bathe in her blood, but don't you think I can you ogling over this boy. Sadly I can't eat him." She pouted, you looked at her with your brows knitted close.

"How come?" That's when she smirk reaching to her eyes.

"Denji is a chainsaw devil, he smells delicious but I'm not after him but the boy you like also is a devil hunter. Just like you he has a deal with a devil." She stood up making her way towards you as she brush her pointy fingers on you face.

"It's simple, just come up to him that's all." She left and the room became bright, you felt your brother shaking you from your dreams.

You quickly opened you eyes and sat up, your brother was worried. You opened your arms as he gives in to give you a hug.

"I thought you were having a bad dream, so I had to wake you up." His words caused you to smiled, hugging him tight as he bid goodnight.

As he left only seconds later your phone ringed, it showed Yoshida's name on your call screen.

You picked it up, he asked you to look right outside the window. There he waved with both his arms as he looked happy and relieved to see you.

Maybe just this time again, take some risk then later on you can do what your devil wishes you to do.

It was around midnight, Yoshida drove you around you just wanted his moment to last forever, he took you to his place as he promise to cook late night dinner he even stole few alcohol from Kishibe, he was surprise he hasn't realize it just yet.

As you both moved the food to the coffee table, he turned on the movie as you slurp your noodles.

Everything was going quite well, that's until half of the second bottle was finished, the first bottle was now being used to spin, you exchanged questions as he listened to every detail.

He sat beside you on the floor, he was pretty close the distance was non existent.

Slowly by slowly, his hands move a strand of hair but his eyes stared to yours as he moves closer with his hand cupping you face.

His lips met yours, soft and hungry, and he took the kiss with the tenderness of a promise.

Your body moving on top of him as you straddle him, his hands resting on your waist as the kiss started to get more intense.

You started to unbutton your top while his hand snake down to your legs, his hands resting on your thighs made you feel warm. He moves to kiss your neck, light whimpers coming out of your lips only ignites Yoshida to keep going.

He pulls you down to his crotch, your underwear would be wet by now and he would feel it too. You moved as you humped on him, he groans throwing his head back.

You move your hands feeling his body underneath his white shirt, you kept moving and moving until you feel something coming down to you.

"Keep going doll." His lips was close to your ear, each grunt and pant of his breath was just making you even wetter.

Suddenly a knock came, causing you both to stop.

"Hey! I got snacks, I couldn't sleep neither can Nayuta." It was Denji, Yoshida groaned. You carefully went off him, you turned away but Yoshida was quick to move.

He had both his hands on your waist pulling you into a long kiss. Before he rest his forehead on yours.

"What are you doing to me?" He whispers, his eyes meeting yours only causing you to melt.

You fixed your clothes and hid the bottles away, you tied your hair into a bun. Yoshida quickly puts on a sweater since he still had a evident bulge on his pants.

He opens the door a grumpy looking Denji comes into view with a girl hiding behind him, "you took forever to open the damn door." Denji comes in as he notice you were here, his frown instantly turned into a smile as he became a puppy towards you.

You met Nayuta and they had to explain who she was but Denji just metions that she was his younger sister.

The day went the same however your mother allowed you to skip school, she started to speculate something might be stressing out out perhaps your classmates or the school, she couldn't stop thinking what it could be but you reassured her that you were alright.

You jumped happily, you waited for Yoshida to ask you if you wanted to go see the fireworks.

It was around one thirty, your mother came knocking to your room telling you there was a boy who was wanting to see you. You happily jogged down the stairs, passing by your brother whose face was smudge in chocolate.

You opened the door, suddenly your smile turn downward. It was Denji who was leaning by the cement wall, he noticed you as he idly waves.

"Schools boring without you." Denji says making you giggled. You tried to hide your disappointment that it wasn't Yoshida.

"I'm actually here to ask you if you want to see the fireworks with me, Yoshida went out to ask Mina." Your heart sank on the ground. Did people really see you as nothing. Not even a human, not close?

You swore you heard the koi devil's laughter, it made you slightly uneasy. But rejecting Denji wasn't your choice you just simply agreed.

You went back in as Denji bids goodbye, he promise to pick you up early. You head back in your father was going to be late as the three of you have dinner.

You told your mother you have a date tomorrow, she was quick to her feet finding the perfect Yukata for you to wear.

She laid everything out for you, you wish you just as excited as her but you tried to cheer yourself up, Denji was nice enough to ask you why can't you just be grateful?

That night, you had nightmares it was throwing you back into the past, everything started to haunt you down again it was even difficult to wake up you could hear Mina and the others. You woke up with tears in your eyes, you sat up pushing your legs close to your chest as you let a sob out.

The morning came as your grandparents bought Wagashi and Mochi since it was you and your youngers brother's favorite snacks, your mother made tea as your father hugs her mother but he got scolding since we haven't visited them in awhile.

Later on that day your grandmother and mother helped you put on your Yukata, your grandmother even gave you a hairpiece she keeps that has been passed down since Teisho era. It was covered in gold, emerald and tiny diamonds.

The family were amazed by how you look, you turned to the mirror you thought you started to look like the koi devil herself, maybe she was becoming fully with you. The long silky dark hair, pale skin and eyes like cat, instead of feeling fear you were feeling over confident and powerful.

They can't see the koi symbol on your left chest, you lightly rubbed it you felt pleasure like how it was nights ago when you made out with Yoshida, your eyes falling back to the mirror you saw the koi devil smirking at you.

You read her lips, suddenly the doorbell rings.

Your father answered it, he wasn't please to see a boy, and that boy was Denji.

He wore a navy colored yukata with black sandals. You bid your family goodbye's but your father had a stern look on Denji which made the poor boy uncomfortable.

He points to Denji, "No touching, no kissing, no cooties and I'm not hearing any objections." He received a slap on his chest from his wife.

"Ignore your old man, have fun you two!" She waves off as your brother just wave as well while eating mochi.

You two walked around stall to stall, trying games and buying food. Denji was enjoying himself but you were looking around the crowd trying to find Yoshida, Denji tugged your sleeve as he points to another game stall.

It was stall that has ropes above, you have to pull which ever rope to get a price. Denji was drooling over the ninetendo but he also wants the stuff toy and even the large sack of rice crackers.

In the end he got a bag of fluffly heart shaped marshmallows, he offered you some as you finished the whole bag of strawberry filled jelly marshmallows. Darkness was about to envelope the sky after the hues of orange, red and gold strikes of the sunset was gone in a matter of minutes. The host was announcing that the firework show will be starting in thirty minutes.

You were still unable to find Yoshida, you were starting to doubt he'd ever come.

You sat down waiting for Denji as he was buying yakisoba and hot green tea.

You removed your sandals, glancing back down to your phone he hasn't even called you today.

"I'm back." Denji hands you the warm yakisoba and a hot bottled green tea. You thanked him as you ate for the millionth time today.

Fifteen second before the firework begin your phone started to ring, you excused yourself.

You picked up the call it was Yoshida, you started to feel as if you were in the clouds.

"Yoshida, where are you?" You asked but he answered with a flat voice.

"Meet me at the parking lot, don't bring anyone with you." The phone call dropped, you look back to Denji he was busy eating his fifth cotton candy. You swear he eats so much you wonder if he ever gets full.

You walked towards the parking lot, there you saw Yoshida's back facing you there wasn't much cars parked around the area but it had the best view seeing the festival from up here the lights and people crowding around you had no idea it was much better to look from here.

Yoshida turns to you but he had blood stains on his clothes.

"I missed you, three days without you feels more than a torture." He opens his arms for you to take but you couldn't move to your spot.

"Y-Yoshida... You're clothes are-." You shakily pointed at him.

He looks down as if it was a normal thing, then you remembered what the koi devil said.

"That boy you like, is just like you made a deal with a devil."

You covered your lips, you started to shake like a leaf.

"This isn't mine, but you know what I want to hear from you instead?" He chuckles, pushing his hair back before he turns his gaze back on you.

"It's from Mina, that psycho freak thinks she owns the whole world in her hand, I saw everything even that time she killed you, yeah, I exposed her and her precious family now their on the brink of death. I like it, even when she begged me to save her, I killed the same way she tried to kill, I wanted to torture her more but I can't let my baby wait for me much longer no?" He started to move closer but you didn't backed away.

"Next was her friends." He pulls out a knife from his pocket, swirling it with his index finger.

"I. haunt. each. and. every. one. of. her sluts." He giggled.

"You didn't know but she slept with all of her friends, she's the nasty little whore here not you, you are my precious angel what you do to me makes me crave you more and more everyday it just gets stronger. Next was our homeroom teacher, yeah, you had no idea but she had slept with Mina's father little bitch thinks she can change her life by becoming the new wife guess what per request she must not show concern that day she was there in the hospital when you had your exam I was the one who threatened her after that she begged like never before." He wipes off the blood from the knife with his sleeve.

"I killed her, nice and clean then dumped her body beside Mina's precious father, he dead too because he dares hurt my baby that's unforgiveable to me."

Just the the first firework explodes in the air, the red color shone you see it clearer that he was covered from head to toe and he look like a maniac.

"Lastly was Himari, I fed her to my devil. I knew you have one too it makes me happy that this way we won't be too strangers with one another. I know that koi symbol you have." He points with his index finger as you backed away.

Moving and moving as he only comes closer and you can't help it, you can't move it almost feels like something holding you down.

As a large stone wall met your back Yoshida was quick to block your side trying to escape him.

"I'll always keep my promise, you're mine after all." He uses the knife to cute your front he tugs down on your left sleeve to reveal the symbol.

"We're powerful that they'll ever know."

Late Spring Blooms

Summary: Not even one word had been spoken between the two of you

Word Count: 5.1K (this was supposed to be short…)

Tags: Alhaitham x gn! reader, slow burn, fluff, just a lot of fluff, slight angst, Akademiya setting, toxic academia environment, mentions of bullying, both of you are students, mutual pining, when you just stare at your crush for like 4 years but never talked to them. 

Authors note: This was supposed to be a short feel-good fic, but I guess my brain just wanted to be a nerd. So I included some scientific theories that are kinda in debate, I just gave it my best shot. I write fiction not peer reviewed studies please forgive any mistakes

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Here is a list of some YouTube ASMR ambiences/soundscapes (they’re all hyperlinked, so click away!) Unlike traditional ASMR, these videos do not feature any people. Talented YouTubers have used software to create rendered environments with layered sounds, with many of these ambiences inspired from fantasy to others based in reality. I find music with lyrics to be distracting sometimes, but these are great background noises for focusing, studying, doing homework, and even for relaxing. Enjoy and good luck ♡

LIBRARY SOUNDSCAPES

1. Royal Library | Rain and Thunderstorm Sounds on Study Ambience with Crackling Fireplace 

By New Bliss 

2. LIBRARY AMBIENCE: Writing Sounds, Whispering, Pages Turning, Rain, Fireplace 

by Autumn Cozy 

3. Ambience/ASMR: Writer’s Library from the 1930s, 4 Hours

by Ambience of Yesteryear

4. Study Ambience / Library Sounds / 3 Hours #241

By Winter Whale ASMR

5. Harry Potter inspired ASMR - Hogwarts Library REMAKE - Animated ambient soundscape cinemagraph

By ASMR rooms 

CAFE SOUNDSCAPES

1. Rainy Day at Coffee Shop & Jazz Music | ASMR Ambience 4K

By Cozy Corner 

2. [ASMR/Ambience]cafe after closing on a rainy urban night

By Sound Forest 

3. Coffeehouse ASMR Ambience

By Miracle Forest 

4. 1 Hour of Tea Shop Ambience | Background Noise | Cafe Ambient Sounds

By Nocturnal House 

5. ASMR Increase Concentration Tokyo Cafe Study Ambience for Homework & School

By asmr soupe 

COZY SOUNDSCAPES

1. 🎧 Cozy Ambience Bedroom - Rain on the Windows of the Rainy Night View of the City 10 Hours | Sleep

By The Relaxing Town 

2. Cozy Cabin Ambience - Writer’s Room with 8 Hours of Rain, Thunder and Fire Sounds

By Calmed by Nature 

3. Bed Breakfast ☕ Snowy Morning [ASMR] Cozy Cabin Ambience ❄️️ Winter Day with Little Bunny friend 🐰

By ASMR Weekly 

4. Rain sounds | cozy cabin | Sleep, Study, Meditation 10 hours

By White Noise Tranquility 

5. Cozy Winter Cottage | Snowstorm and Fireplace Sounds | blizzard | 10hours

By dreamy sound 

INSPIRED BY SOUNDSCAPES

1. ASMR Mystical and Noble Atmosphere of Slytherin Common Room●Harry Potter 3D Ambient Sound

By asmr soupe 

2. Lord of the Rings Inspired ASMR - the Green Dragon Inn - Medieval Tavern Ambience and Animations

By ASMR rooms 

3. ⛩ Spirited Away’s Dormitory - 1 Hour - Ghibli ASMR Soundscape

By Vibrating Art 

4. Twin Peaks Double R Diner Ambience - 8 Hours of Smooth Jazz Music, Rain Sounds, & Cozy Cafe Ambience

By Calmed by Nature 

5. A Moving Castle Type ASMR Ambience

By Miracle Forest