ragnvider! adopted! reader and the unfortunate events that follows after the death of their father.
Tw: Mentions of blood and injuries.
_________________________________________
"Stop it. You guys. Please. Just not in front of father!" Diluc and Kaeya's fighting doesn't seem to stop for anything. Diluc is going at it and Kaeya only seems to defend himself from his brother. Not even trying to attack back in the slightest. But still shit talking every chance he gets.
"I said Stop!" A lighting bolt is let out and it lands right in between the two brothers.
It was comical indeed. You were blessed with a vision. Blessing? It was life laughing at your face. It was a curse. For better or for worse that seems to have finally stopped your brothers from fighting and then to look at you.
"Can we please just get dad home and sort this out? I- I can't bare to see you guys fight. Please." Everything just comes out a hushed wispher but you're sure they heard you. After all the dead of the night was the only white noise.
"There is no home for us. Haven't you guys already done enough? I don't ever want you traitors near me. I don't want you calling my father as your own." Diluc spits out with his eyebrows furrowed. The expression is clear. Hatred. Betrayal. You name it. He doesn't trust anyone anymore. Not even his siblings. Dare he say you guys were never family.
"Is that what you truly wish for?" The question came as a surprise to Kaeya. He was going to tell Diluc off for dragging you into this. Archons! you were the youngest there and you weren't even remotely related to kaeya by blood, So why must you be a subject to this? Just someone who was left to fend for in front of the church. But again, Before he could answer no. Diluc beat him to something else.
"Yes. Don't come crawling back to our place. There is no place for you both. I hate you! Everything my father did was in vain because of you guys. A selfish lot indeed." The wound is still fresh. Right now it seems to sting more than ever. Father died. Kaeya is a spy. What does he expect from you? He doesn't wanna find out. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.
"If that's what you want. I'll gladly oblige. Diluc, Kaeya. If i ever see you again. Pretend you don't know me. You cut out ties off so i don't see a reason to stay in mondstadt. I hope you live a filling life." With that to drag your feet out of the place. It's cold. It's raining. Diluc and Kaeya look at you leave. They utter nothing. Unsure of wheather you truly meant that. They don't chase after you. They have their own wounds to tend to.
For you however it's dark out. What can you see? Nothing. No hope for your future. What were you ought to do?
It's like God had answered your question. A certain ginger head was walking right by the qingce village you were near by. He saw the uneven steps you took. Mistakenly taking you for a drunk person and he thought of playing with you even. That is until he came closer and saw you clutching your arm. It was a horrifying sight to see. Even the Fatui Harbinger was shocked. Your Arms had a dagger through it. Your body was almost soaked in blood. There were many open wounds here and there. But most importantly you looked pained. Tears threatening to spill out. But somehow still holding back.
"Little Miss. You better come with me and see a doctor right now. Those wounds aren't gonna heal themself you know?" He spoke so kindly. You didn't have the heart to refuse. You weren't the position to either. Any help. Any pitiful gaze. Just anything to put out the pain you feel.
"That.. would be very helpful." You chuckle out. Almost funnily enough you find out that he was one of the Harbingers later. What were you supposed to do? Honor your father- That's not what you deserved to call him. Honor your dead gaurdian or honor the man that saved you. You merely chose the one in front of you.
Childe was a day of hope in the dark that you needed. He played a big brother's role. Unironically and very well at that too. He was always eager to take you home to his siblings. Always more than happy to treat you lunch. Making sure you a safe and sound before you sleep. You saw both Diluc and Kaeya in him. Being an actual brother himself, He understood both sides. However he ridiculed your brothers for not going after you. Although he wouldn't say it out loud. He did drop a couple of hints that he would love to have you in his home with his other siblings. You didn't have to get your hands dirty at the Fatui. You could just do something else.
But you can't sit idly knowing the man that took you in at your worst could be out there on danger. You vowed to never leave his side and to protect him. Although childe was much older than you, he found it rather endearing. He let you stay during his missions. Of course he would still try to protect you from the bloodshed happening. Closing your eyes with his hands every chance he gets.
"So, Little Missy, you don't have to come to this mission. It's rather in a place you'd rather not visit." He spoke. Placing his warm hand on your head and ruffling it ever so gently. But you were set. When you said you'd never leave him, you meant it.
"No. It's fine. I have you now don't I? Mondstadt doesn't bother me anymore. Plus, it's not like i have family." He saw the sad chuckle you let out. No sibling deserved to go through this. They didn't either. But what was he to do anything?
"Hey now, don't say that. Teucer and I will be sad for months." He tried to lighten the mood. You saw right through him. He's always trying to keep the pain away.
"Thank you. I truly appreciate you guys." You said smiling. It was geniune this time.
After a decade. A long stretched out decade later. You find your way to mondstadt. But it isn't with intention to find your old family, No. It's with intentions with protecting the one you've been gifted with.
It was nostalgic to say the least. You were twenty five. A bigger circle of people with you. Certainly drawing the attention. You still had that same hair colour. Still the same eyes yet somehow dead. The scar on your arm seemed new. The clothes you wore. Everything seemed the same yet off.
"Let's go get a few drinks! I am certainly drained but some alcohol will sure be there to cheer me up." Childe said. Dramatically placing a hand over his head to act out as if he were in pain.
"Okay, let's go." The only time you agreed to drink with him was when you guys weren't at home. You were known to have weird drinking habits. So it was best to not show childe's family that side.
The nearest Tavern was Angel's share. Of course the well known one. You didn't object to go there. After all you didn't know anyone. Or rather you refused to acknowledge them.
The ring of doors opening altered the owner. "Welcome to Angel's share. What can I-" He looked up to be faced with his dear sibling. Does he even deserves to call you that? He remembers the harsh words he said. He didn't mean them. Not one of them. He also sees the Fatui there. He's confused. But right now he has to focus to getting to talk to you.
Kaeya who was sitting in front of Diluc was shocked as well. He couldn't say anything. The words were stuck in his throat. You were taller. More cold. The electro vision hung on your waist like his. Yet it seemed different.
The ginger next to you speaks up so you don't have to. "If you'd be kind to give us comrades a big table and loads of booze would be great!" He spoke with a smile.
Diluc couldn't say anything. He simply nodded. He would speak to you before you left. He surely would. He thought to himself.
"Come on, Dear. And please be mindful of how much you drink, yeah? We don't want you doing what you did last time." He said. You could only look away in embarrassment as you recalled how you cried and refused to let childe go thinking he'll abandon you when he was really going to the bathroom.
The way that man coaxed you rubbed Diluc and Kaeya the wrong way. It wasn't his place.
"It won't happen again. I swear." You said.
The drinks had been served. Everything was going very well. Until you met eyes with Diluc. God. You couldn't say a part of you want relieved at them doing well. But now you simply showed no emotion on the outside. For now, you were drinking a glass of wine. You were getting a bit tipsy. The drinks were getting to you. This is where you should've stopped. But you didn't. You just couldn't.
"Brother Ajax." You uttered. Three heads turned to you. Only one was overjoyed however. Diluc and Kaeya looked in horror. The one who they raised as their own for nine years was in front of them calling a Fatui Harbinger their brother.
Childe was beyond happy. He told you multiple times to call him that. But somehow this was the first time.
"Finally! You said it. I've been waiting for so long to hear you say that! You're as endearing as ever. I wished you just stay home though." He said hugging you.
You could only smile and say "How am i supposed to protect my brother if he's out fighting for our family?"
Everything came crashing down. Diluc couldn't hold back the cracking of his heart. Kaeya could only tear up at that. What went wrong? Well, everything. They would never have you smile at them. They could never have you call them brother again. They could never have you back in their family again. You were nothing but a chapter in the past.
"Can you please come back home?" Diluc spoke up to you. It came down as a surprise to childe though. He didn't think your brothers were none other than the famed protecters of mondstadt.
"I'm sorry, Sir. I don't understand you." You replied. All that you had drunk seemed to have vanished.
"Just come back home. I miss you, No We miss you. Kaeya, The maids. Everyone. I'm sorry for everything i said. I never meant them. Just please.. find your way back to us." He had a very sad look. lips pressed into a thin line. Kaeya could only say yes in a hushed voice.
"But i am home. I am home with brother Ajax-" Right when you said that you fainted. Dropping in and out of consciousness send to be one of the side effects of you drinking alcohol. Before your head could collide with the table, Childe put his hand in between. Slowly putting you to the side he turned to Diluc and Kaeya.
"You know when my sibling right here told me that their brothers left them. I would've never guessed it would've been you guys. Of course i expected more from you. Now that i know, I'll make you never get to hurt my dear again." Childe said. He had seen you grow up in front of him. Grow up? it was forced upon you. You never got a chance to have a normal childhood. Always killing, going to dangerous places. All of this could've been avoided if only one of them spoke up that night.
"We were talking to our sibling. Not yours." Kaeya spat out. All these years of searching for you. After such a long time, they finally got to see you but they couldn't hug you. They couldn't say they missed you dearly. They couldn't be a family to you when you needed them most.
"Yours you say? All you seem to have done is stab their heart. Rest assured they're with me now. Family to me. Keep your noses out of our business." With that childe carried you out of the tavern. They didn't dare chase after you again. Not when you were happy else where.
It was dark. It was cold. It was raining but you had your brother on your side this time.
(𝘗𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘦 𝘋𝘦𝘶𝘹)
✉ chapter announcements: [1] [2] [3]
✉ pairing: Neuvillette x F!Reader
✉ status: ongoing
✉ tags: enemies to lovers, arranged & forced marriage, one sided pining, forced proximity, eventual romance, female reader, reader is an attorney, reader is from liyue, reader has an electro vision
✉ warnings: graphic description of injury, reader hates everyone but the melusines, reader is really outspoken.
✉ sum:
“Because to love me is embedded glass and you are a fool if you have done so monsieur.”
“Then I am a fool.”
It is a shame, really, that you, the Chief Attorney of Proteus & Portunus Litigations, the one that has been gifted with the title "mademoiselle", is an outsider. Not Fontainian in descent. Upon hearing a rumour or two, the Hydro Archon, ever the kind and just, decides to bestow you a certain privilege and honour with another title. "𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙉𝙚𝙪𝙫𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚." After all, two "outsiders" may just help each other become more "Fontainian."
✉ link:
ao3 | wattpad | tumblr tag
a.n: border credits to @cafekitsune
Art Tips | Line Weight
—
Hello, I didn’t make it in time but I still wanted to share this short guide on applying varying line weight onto a drawing.
In my first year of art college, drawing class was like a treasure trove of new tips and knowledge which I looked forward to every week. I used to only draw either very lightly overall or with the same intensity and no variation in my lines.
But one of the first things introduced to us in drawing class was how to vary our lines and mark making to capture light and shadow through just our line drawings. I never noticed the big difference it made to drawing only in a line with the same weight or which was uniform in pressure. I saw how it added more depth and fluidity to the character or subject making them less flat and stiff overall.
So ever since then I have tried to observe more and make thoughtful decisions of where I can play with the pressure of my lines while drawing.
Hope this is helpful! :)
-xz
I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?
HI darling,
I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:
Home
what the hell is a mortgage?
first apartment essentials checklist
how to care for cacti and succulents
the care and keeping of plants
Getting an apartment
Money
earn rewards by taking polls
how to coupon
what to do when you can’t pay your bills
see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill
how to save money
How to Balance a Check Book
How to do Your Own Taxes
Health
how to take care of yourself when you’re sick
things to bring to a doctor’s appointment
how to get free therapy
what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment
how to make a doctor’s appointment
how to pick a health insurance plan
how to avoid a hangover
a list of stress relievers
how to remove a splinter
Emergency
what to do if you get pulled over by a cop
a list of hotlines in a crisis
things to keep in your car in case of an emergency
how to do the heimlich maneuver
Job
time management
create a resume
find the right career
how to pick a major
how to avoid a hangover
how to interview for a job
how to stop procrastinating
How to write cover letters
Travel
ULTIMATE PACKING LIST
Traveling for Cheap
Travel Accessories
The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase
How To Read A Map
How to Apply For A Passport
How to Make A Travel Budget
Better You
read the news
leave your childhood traumas behind
how to quit smoking
how to knit
how to stop biting your nails
how to stop procrastinating
how to stop skipping breakfast
how to stop micromanaging
how to stop avoiding asking for help
how to stop swearing constantly
how to stop being a pushover
learn another language
how to improve your self-esteem
how to sew
learn how to embroider
how to love yourself
100 tips for life
Apartments/Houses/Moving
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)
How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)
Education
How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)
How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)
What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)
Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)
How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)
How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)
Finances
How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)
How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)
Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)
What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)
Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)
Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)
How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting
How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)
How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)
How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)
10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)
Life Skills
Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)
Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)
What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)
Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)
How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)
How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)
How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)
Miscellaneous
What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)
Relationships
Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)
How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple and catastrofries)
Travel & Vehicles
How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)
How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)
Other Blog Features
Apps for Asshats
Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders
Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later
Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)
Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)
Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)
Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)
Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)
Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)
Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)
Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)
Adult Cheat Sheet:
what to do if your pet gets lost
removing stains from your carpet
how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps
throwing a dinner party
i’m pregnant, now what?
first aid tools to keep in your house
how to keep a clean kitchen
learning how to become independent from your parents
job interview tips
opening your first bank account
what to do if you lose your wallet
tips for cheap furniture
easy ways to cut your spending
selecting the right tires for your car
taking out your first loan
picking out the right credit card
how to get out of parking tickets
how to fix a leaky faucet
get all of your news in one place
getting rid of mice & rats in your house
when to go to the e.r.
buying your first home
how to buy your first stocks
guide to brewing coffee
first apartment essentials checklist
coping with a job you hate
30 books to read before you’re 30
what’s the deal with retirement?
difference between insurances
Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:
You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:
wishing to live independently
location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university
conflict with your parents
being asked to leave by your parents.
It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:
Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.
Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.
Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.
Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:
They may worry that you are not ready.
They may be sad because they will miss you.
They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.
They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.
Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.
Tips include:
Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?
Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.
Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.
Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.
Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.
Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.
If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.
If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.
Your doctor
Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800
Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44
Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325
Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277
Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50
Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577
Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.
Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations.
(source)
Keep me updated? xx
The Age of Our Youth
Aki x Fem reader
Summary: Some loves are meant to be forgotten, but others are meant to follow you a lifetime.
A/n: I'm honestly so nervous about this 😭, I feel like this chapter is bland, but I hope y'all stick around enjoy this short series.
Genre: Romance. Angst. Modern Au.
Warnings: None really for this chapter
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Masterlist | Wc: 7.2k
With your heart thumping against your ribs, you stare at the droplets of water sliding down the expanse of the window of the restaurant you're seated in, pen tapping lightly against the white surface of the table. You can feel the strings of your heart being tugged at, sweat forming in the palms of your hand, and your heart feeling as if it’s going to climb up your chest and spill on the table. Nothing you can think of to calm your nerves, not even the tea in front of you seems to have helped, and the nauseating feeling only grows whenever a small ‘ding’ of the door opens and closes.
You refuse to look up scared that you’ll meet the blue eyes that once you used to take your breath away. The same blues that you had looked up to as if they held the universe in them. You knew better now; years of empty ice cream containers, sleepless nights, and countless heartaches had taught you that no man truly holds the totality of the world. You were truly starting to regret agreeing to this get-together Denji had set up with the entirety of your friend group. Checking the face of your wristwatch, you notice that they’re all late.
“Sorry I’m late, looks like we’re the first ones here,” the sound of his voice sends a shiver up your spine. The air no longer seems able to travel into your lungs. Aki's voice had grown deeper. Deep and melodic. “It’s nice to see you again, y/n.”
Breathing in deeply through your nose, you look up from between your lashes, avoiding his eyes, and give him a tight-lipped smile, “It’s nice to see you too, Aki.” You pause for a second, taking in the full sight of him while he stands at the edge of your table. His hair is longer now, sill pulled back from his face with a few loose strands falling into his eyes. The dark bags from long night shifts no longer decorate the bottoms of them. He holds himself up with the same confidence, hands shoved into the pockets of his leather jacket, something new you notice. You wonder if he dresses like this all the time now. “How have you been?” You ask, shaking your head and lifting the empty cup of tea to your lips.
Aki pulls the chair out in front of you, sliding into the seat smoothly, raising his hand to call over the waiter, “I’ve been fine. What about you? How have you been?”
“I’ve been better,” you reply, setting the up-down, eyes focused on the remains on the bottom. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you think back to the recent Facebook update you had seen on his profile thanks to your mother, your heart aching a bit when you bring it up. “Congrats on the engagement by the way,” you clear your throat, feeling the need to clarify your reason for knowing about it when you and he are no longer Facebook friends, “My mom told me about it.”
Aki nods his head, lips formed into a thin line, “Thanks.”
You pretend not to notice the long sigh he takes afterward or the way he fiddles with his fingers. You certainly don’t notice the way his eyebrows furrow in what seems to be frustration at the mention of his engagement. you put the pen you had been fiddling with back into your purse along with the notes you had been taking.
The air is filled with tension, each of you refusing to look at each other directly. How long had it been since the two of you had been in the same room? Five years? Three Years? The last time you remember seeing him was at Denji’s Christmas party a few years ago, but you hadn’t talked to him. Instead, you had avoided him the entire time you were there, mostly because you didn’t want him to introduce you to the girl that was hanging off his arm, the same girl he was now marrying.
“I saw your brother the other day,” Aki interrupts the awkward silence.
“Oh? What did he say?”
“Mmh, not much, he just told me that your parents are selling their house.”
You're now facing each other, eyes meeting for a second before yours drift down to the cup in your hands, “Y-yeah. It was random too…it’s been on the market for a few weeks.”
He nods again, the awkwardness settling again, you almost want to cry when the waitress finally shows up to take Aki’s drink order, filling the quiet. You stare out the window, watching as cars pull in and out, waiting for Denji’s blue mustang to pull into the parking lot. You glance at Aki, who stares at the bottles of liquor on the shelves behind the bar. You notice that his hair is now a bit longer, a few loose strands curling around his ears. Ears that now have new piercings, the jewelry reflecting the light above you. Your hand instinctively travels to the small flower-shaped in the inner part of your ear, the one that matches his.
“I think they're here,” Aki’s voice draws your attention back to the parking lot, a dark blue mustang with neon lights flashing under pulling up.
“Finally,” you whisper under your breath, watching as both Denji and Power walk towards the front, both laughing and pushing each other along the way. You can feel some of your rigidity loosen at the sight of them, your shoulders relaxing finally. The door dings when they walk through their loud voices bouncing off the walls. A handful of people turn around and look at them. “Oh my god,” you whisper, sinking into your seat, trying to act as if you don’t know them even though they're being led straight to your table.
“Aki! Y/n! You’re already here!” Power greets you both.
Shooting the hostess an apologetic smile you nod your head and make room for Power next to you, “You two are late.”
“Sorry, we got pulled over,” Denji answers, knitting his fingers together in front of him, “I got a ticket for speeding.”
Power laughs next to you, leaning onto the table, her chin resting on the back of her hand, “Can you believe this dumbass thought he wouldn’t get stopped when he sped up after clearly seeing a cop parked.”
Across from you, Denji pouts, rubbing his hand over his eyes, “Whatever,” he mumbles. Turning the attention away from himself, he looks at you, a friendly smile spread across his face, “Haven’t seen you in a while, y/n. How have you been?”
Returning to his smile you try to ignore how the whole table turns to look at you, “I’ve been busy, but okay. What about you? How’s the wedding planning? Last time I saw you or Reze was when we met up after we went dress shopping.”
“She’s doing fine. We just need to find a venue, which someone had to beat us to the only decent venue in town,” He answers, jamming his elbow into Aki’s arm playfully.
Ignoring Denji’s comment, he opens the menu that’s placed in front of him, his thumb and forefinger rubbing together separated by the piece of plastic, a habit you remember him doing during all your dates. You catch yourself watching him do it, a small smile starting to curl on the corner of your lips, but you shake your head and turn back to Denji.
“Can’t you just look for a different place? There are some nice venues outside of town,” you tell him, opening your menu on the table, barely glancing at it while your fingers dance along the surface of it.
Denji shakes his head, hair falling into his eyes, “Reze wants to have the reception in that place. It’s apparently where everyone in her family has gotten married.”
“Who hasn’t gotten married in that place,” Power adds sarcastically to the conversation, laughter erupting from you.
“Try telling her that,” Denji laughs.
You feel warmth spread across your chest as you laugh with them, your head feeling like it's floating up. It feels as if you’ve traveled back in time, the jokes that get tossed back and forth between the three of you, Aki giving the three of you annoyed looks, looking up occasionally up at the ceiling as if that would get the other two to be less quiet. All the awkwardness is replaced by nostalgia.
A homesick feeling settled in the bottom of your stomach, that spread up to the back of your throat, for a time when things were much easier. When you didn’t have the gaping hole in your chest with adulthood. Before you longed for success, happiness, love…for something to make you feel fulfilled. You yearned for the carefreeness that came with the early days of your youth.
~
August 2012
The sun burns the skin of your shoulders and nose while you look up at the sky, sweat coats your forehead and travels down your back, and the tank top you're wearing changes to a dark shade and does very little to cool you down. Even the water your feet are soaking in does very little to cool down the burning feeling. You can hear the chirping of the cicadas that sing along the riverbank, the sound causing you to feel irritated combined with the heat. You’re already doing your best to ignore the way the wood beneath you is hot and uncomfortable to be sitting on.
A few feet away from where you sit you can see the two idiots who are the cause of your dilemma. The reason why you're out in the scorching heat instead of sitting in front of the ac. Denji and Power splash water at each other, their laughter and howling can be heard from several blocks down, but no one is out in the streets to complain. Only people who were out of their minds would be out in this heat. And apparently, you were one of those people having let them drag you out of your room with the disguise of studying at the library for the first test of the semester, only to end up at the small riverbank of the town.
“You know if you get in the water you’ll feel much better!” Power swims up to you, pushing herself up on the small wooden dock you're sitting on.
You scrunch your nose at her, watching as droplets of water travel down the skin that her two-piece swimsuit doesn’t cover, “No, thank you.”
“Come on,” she begs, twisting her hair causing water to hit your thigh, “it’s not even that deep.” You shake your head again, laying down on the wood a loud hiss leaving your lips when your skin makes contact with the wood. Power scowls next to you when you don’t give in to her, pushing herself up and reaching for the oversized shirt she had worn to come here, “Fine, then we’re going home.”
“Power,” you say her name sternly, knowing that she’s about to throw a fit at you without getting in the water with them, “ you know I can’t swim.”
She doesn’t look at you, choosing to slip into her sandals, “It’s whatever. Denji, let's go!” Power glances at you, her lips pressed into a line, “You hungry?”
You sigh, already knowing that if you don’t give in a little she’ll most likely be angry with you the rest of the week, “Yeah.” You stand, dusting yourself off, “want to go to that small restaurant by campus?” you ask, already knowing her answer since it was one of her favorite places to eat.
Her mood seems to change towards you when you offer to go there, a smile spreading on her face almost instantaneously. She hoops her arm through yours, resting her chin on your shoulder to look at you, “That sounds perfect actually.” Glancing over her she calls out to Denji again, scaring him and almost causing him to fall back into the water, “Denji, hurry up! I’m hungry!”
Hooking her arm through yours, Power leads you back to the small apartment the three of you were currently able to share, a courtesy of your absent father trying to crawl his way back into your life ever since his now ex-girlfriend had left him. It was a decent-sized apartment with two bedrooms, a small balcony, and its living areas, big enough for three fresh out of high-school students. It was located a few blocks from the campus, surrounded by small boutiques and restaurants. To think that your father had put this much thought into choosing the apartment was unreal and you refused to believe that the man who hadn't talked to you since you were twelve had put in the effort.
It doesn't take you long to enter the neighborhood, the three of you avoiding the sun by staying under the large umbrellas many of the shops had hung outside their establishments. Power drags you and Denji down the sidewalk, in a hurry to change and head to the small restaurant.
You can feel your bones aching with every step you take, the heat of the sun heating the sidewalk which then seeps in through the soles of the sandals you wear. Looking behind you, Denji is shirtless, sweat dripping down his temples and his face a bright red, you're not doing any better with your shirt clinging to your body, yet somehow Power seems unaffected by the smoldering sun. Her hair isn’t stuck to her back or forehead and there are no signs of moisture on any part of her body as she skips ahead. You almost want to strangle her for it too.
Reaching the front of the building, you and Denji let out sighs of relief, quickly followed by groans when you both remember that the elevator is out of service, watching Power take two steps at a time. By the time you reach the coolness of the apartment, you don’t want to go back out into the heat, your brain is thinking of ways to delay the trip to the restaurant till after the sun goes down. Meowy greets the three of you along with the sound of the AC when you open the door.
“I think I’m dead,” Denji moans, letting his body collapse in front of the wall ac, face pressed against the cool boards of the floor.
You follow him, landing on his back, laughing a little when he groans, and then rolling over onto yours, “Me too.” The room falls silent while you both listen to the water of the bathroom start to run, and the soft sound of the ac motor. You can hear Power moving around in washing the remnants of the river water, and you let yourself relax under the sounds of the quiet house, staring up at the dancing shadows of the house plants you keep. Turning your head you find Denji with his eyes closed, breathing softly through his nose. You know he isn’t asleep, the lack of snoring is a clear sign, so you move closer to him, letting your head rest on his elbow, “You know, I think we should get her a pet to keep her busy, I don’t think the cat is enough.”
The comment immediately makes the two of you burst, tears streaming from the corners of your eyes, and the tiredness of the walk disappearing.
Power walks back into the living room, the cat wrapped in her arms, “What’s so funny?”
You shake your head sitting upright, smiling up at her while she makes her way to the kitchen for some water, “Nothing. I’m going to shower real quick and then we can go.”
“Okay,” both respond in unison, Power making her way to the pantry for cat food and Denji dropping his head back on the floor.
You make your way to your shared room with Power, sun pouring in from the large window in front of your bed, drawing attention to the large mess of clothes spread out across the floor. “Power! Please get your clothes off the floor before we leave!” You call over your shoulder, knowing that you’ll probably end up cleaning up the mess when you get back. Pushing aside some of the mess, you make a path to the closet that still has most of your clothes in it, pulling out a satin top and a pair of pants, expecting the evening to be cooler than the day.
You make your way to the bathroom, which is a few feet on the opposite wall from Denji’s, you and Power dictating that if anyone should break in he should be the first to go instead of the two of you when you first moved in, and check the clock on your phone.
Two O’clock in the afternoon. There were still six hours to kill till the sun started to go down, and you could take an hour in the bathing which would leave you with five. But of course, you would want to eat before eight so really you had four, you could probably convince Denji to also take an hour-long shower, so really you had three.
Three hours to find something to distract Power. You were going to have a long afternoon.
~
It’s still early in the afternoon when Aki finds himself standing outside in the blistering heat of the summer under an umbrella that did very little to help keep him cool. His white dress shirt was sticking to his back and he had sweat stains on his underarms. The ice-cream cone that he was holding was melting, making his hand sticky, only making him more irritated. He wants to go home, back to enjoying what was supposed to be his day off, his eyes traveling to the small air-conditioned convenience store at the end of the block.
“Are you listening to anything I’m saying?” Himeno asks next to him, paying for the ice cream she had bought from the vendor.
“Yeah. I am,” he responds, licking the bottom of his cone where the ice cream is pouring over the edges.
Himeno leads them away from the shade, towards a small bench that is seated under a small tree that does not protect them from the sun. “Okay, then what was I saying?”
“You were telling me that the suspect we’re after usually hangs around this place and that you wanted to go out for drinks.”
Himeno sighs, crossing her legs, “I hate how you do that.”
The space between them fell quiet, both slowly eating while watching as people walked in and out of the buildings of the small neighborhood, neither of them in a particularly talkative mood with how suffocating the hot air felt. Aki isn’t sure how much time passes, the curves of the sun just starting to hit the line of the horizon; the sky is painted in a bright orange and grayish blue, and the air around them finally starting to feel cooler. His shirt is still clinging to his body, and his head felt like it was being repeatedly hit. He is tired of waiting and counting down the minutes before he can go home, but when Himeno suddenly stands, he follows her lead and comes up to his feet.
“That’s our guy, the one in the red,” she points to a man in his late twenties coming out of the convenience store across from them. He’s wearing a faded red shirt and blue cap, head hanging down. Himeno throws the stick to her popsicle and starts to cross the street, “Come on, we don’t want to lose him.”
They both cross the street, keeping a few yards between them and the man they’re following. There aren't many people on the street, so it’s difficult to make it seem like they are pursuing him, even with the distance between them it’s very evident that they are. Himeno takes her left hand out of her pocket, sticking her thumb out towards the street on the other side, telling Aki to switch sides.
Aki nods his head before crossing over, reaching over his head to tighten his hair. He keeps his eyes on the blue cap of the man, the crowd around them slowly growing as they approach a busy side of town, walking side by side with Himeno who remains on the other side. He can see the man looking over his shoulder towards Himeno, his hand turning to all sides looking for an escape. Aki starts to walk faster, soon walking a few paces ahead of his superior, ready to run if he needs to.
From the back of his peripheral vision Aki sees Himeno take and light a cigarette, her eyes always on the man in front of her. She takes a step off the sidewalk before it even happens, letting Aki know that he should start to start to run, the man sprinting across the road right after she does. His blue cap falls off his head when a car almost hits him, but it doesn’t stop him from running to Aki’s side.
Aki’s sure the man didn’t expect two people to be following, because he can see the way his shoulders relax when he looks over his shoulder and sees that Himeno isn’t even following. The man’s pace slows down once the bottom of his feet touches the sidewalk, thinking that he’ll be able to blend into the crowd and lose his pursuer. A second later letting out a surprised yelp when Aki pushes him to the ground, his hand pushing his head into the cement and twisting one of his arms behind his back.
“What the fuck!”
Aki pushes his knee into the center of the man’s back, Himeno jogging up behind them. “Akio Sato you're under arrest accused of money laundering, the possession of drugs, and the trafficking of drugs along with several other misdemeanors. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you,” she recites, just as two cop cars pull up next to them.
Aki cuffs both arms of the man below him before forcibly pulling him up and handing him over until one of the officers walks up to him. Looking he feels some of the stress from his shoulder release when he sees Angel, a friend of his from the academy. “Damn, already caught your first criminal before me.”
Smiling, he shoves Akio towards Angel, “Of course I did.” Aki feels his heart pounding in his chest, his head feeling light. He’s breathing heavily, adrenaline running through his veins still. He lets out a shaky laugh, head tilting back to look up at the sky, the sun burning his eyes.
Angel smiles at him, reaching up behind his head to tie his hair, “Well that’s great, I’m proud of you.” The back of the car is shut, the door automatically locking, “We should celebrate later,” Angel looks over the top of the car, his partner getting in, “Text me and we’ll make plans.”
“Sure. Bye, man.” Aki waves a quick goodbye. He resumes looking up at the clear sky, his heart still pounding in his chest.
Himeno walks up next to him, lighting a new cigarette, smoke coming out of the corner of her lips, “Now that we’re done here, how about we go out and eat something nice? There’s this nice little restaurant around here.”
~
You somehow manage to delay your trip back out into the hot weather until the sun is just starting to fall below the skyline, painted in bright pinks and pastel purples, by offering to trim Denji’s hair and then forcing him to shower. The air feels much cooler now, small gusts of air blowing, the skirt of the dress you're wearing fluttering around your knees. There are more people out on the streets now that the sun has gone down, some are sitting on the benches outside of convenience stores and restaurants while others order from the food trucks that are parked on the edges of the sidewalks. Couples are walking, their hands intertwined and smiles spread across their faces, making it difficult for your trio to walk down the narrow walkway.
Power and you walk with your arms hooked to each other, Denji walking right behind you in between your arms, walking in the inner part of the sidewalk, you walk closer to the building. You catch endings of conversation, Power nudging your side when someone says something juicy, all of you finishing the ending with your version of what the conversation could be about. Lips inches apart and foreheads less than an inch from touching. Both of you leaning towards each other, whispers and giggles reaching Denji.
When you reach the small restaurant, the blue light from the fluorescent bulbs comes out through the window, lighting the small piece of sidewalk in front of it. There are only two other small groups of people inside spread out. The three of you walk in and head towards the rectangular window that takes up the center of the furthest wall from the entrance. Pen, who owns the place greets you, her salt and peppered hair pulled back out of her face into a tight bun. She greets the three of you with a wide smile like she does every time you come in, resting her elbows on the counter, “Hi guys, what can I get you?”
“I’ll have the same as usual,” Denji answers, already walking towards the usual spot you sit in near the back corner, a smiley face neon sign each face colored a different color, and four different colored chairs.
You and Power lean over the counter, looking over the menu that’s taped onto it, though you both know you're going to order the same thing. Pen hums, her nails light beating against the surface. “We do this every time, and you girls always end up ordering the same thing,” She teases.
“You’re right, I’ll have what I usually get, but I’ll have tea instead of strawberry soda,” you respond, pushing yourself off the counter to head to your table. You sit on the opposite side of Denji, leaning back against the wall and resting your heels on the edge. Looking at Denji, running your fingers along the surface of the table, “I haven’t seen Reze lately.”
Running his fingers through his hair, he looks up at you, “Uh, yeah…we sort of had a fight last Saturday, and I haven’t been able to get in touch with her.”
“Oh. Well if you want to talk about it or need advice, Power and I are here for you. You know that right?”
Denji nods, “I do.”
“Good.”
Power joins you at the table, her fingers reaching for the hair band that’s around your wrist, “Pen said our food will be out in a few minutes. What are you two talking about?”
“Just talking about how Reze hasn’t been around much,” you answer, looking at Denji out of the corner of your eye.
Smiling teasingly, Power leans back in her chair, only two of the legs remain on the floor, “What did she get tired of you and dump you? I mean I get why she would.”
From the corner of your eye, you see Denji’s jaw clench, and his knuckles turning white. You lightly kick one of Power’s chair legs, “Power stop. They just had a very bad fight, and she hasn’t gotten back to him. Let’s change the subject, and try to have fun.”
The door dings open, your attention snapping towards, and a woman with short hair steps in, a cigarette dangling from her lips. She’s dressed in a black suit with high heels, an eye patch covering her right eye. She’s followed by a younger man, dressed in a matching suit, the tie undone, and jacket thrown over his shoulder. He has long hair, that is pulled out of his face, and a stern look on his face that doesn’t match his young appearance.
“He's kinda cute,” you mumble just loud enough for Power and Denji to hear you.
Power smiles, her manicured nail between her teeth, “Bet you can’t talk to him.”
You look at her, raising an eyebrow, “What? Are you serious?”
“Of course, it’s easy money for me.” She turns towards Denji, “You in?”
Denji looks up at the two of you, eyes crinkling a little on the edges as he smiles a little, “Sure.”
“Okay, what are we betting?” You take your feet over the edge of the chair onto the floor and lean closer to Power.
Leaning in towards you she smiles, “How about a month's worth of chores?”
Your nails tap on the table, “Okay, but it doesn’t include laundry.”
“Okay, but you have a fifteen-minute time limit.”
Extending your hand towards her, “Deal.”
“Deal,” Power takes your hand and you both shake.
Pen walks to your table with your food, placing it on the table along with your bill. “You guys enjoy,” she says before turning around and walking back to the counter to take the newcomers' orders.
The minutes pass and the two take a seat a few tables down from where you’re sitting, chatting quietly among themselves. Power keeps shoving her elbow into your side while you eat, she and Denji laugh every time you spit up your food when she does. Almost every person, in the restaurant, turns to look at the three of you, annoyed looks painted across their faces. Denji and Power have no problem ignoring the ugly looks, however, you on the other hand give apologetic smiles.
“It’s been eight minutes,” Power whispers, “I knew you wouldn’t do it.”
You shove the last of your food into your mouth, “I’ll do it, just waiting for the right moment.”
“Sure.”
From the corner of your eye, you see the cute guy stand up and walk out the front door, the bell above it ringing when the door opens and closes. “Okay, I’ll be right back,” you stand and lean over Power’s shoulder to whisper “You two better keep your end of the bet,” before walking out of the restaurant.
The night has fully taken over, the moon fully visible in the dark sky along with the twinkling stars. It’s still early enough that a few people are still out on the streets, eating at food trucks and sitting along the sidewalk enjoying ice cream. The man you came chasing after is leaning against the arm of the bench that rests between the restaurant and the boutique next to it, his phone in his hands.
You clear your throat, and swing your body from side to side, looking around into the busy street, “It’s a nice night out.”
He looks up from his phone, eyeing the space around where you both stand to see if you're talking to him or someone else. When he sees that it’s only you and him he answers, a curt answer before returning to his phone, “Yeah I guess.”
You feel uncomfortable when it’s quiet again. A cool breeze flows through, lifting the bottom of your skirt an inch. You take in a deep breath just as it does, your nervousness calming a bit when you smell the fresh scent of freshly mowed grass mixed in with the aroma of the foods being cooked. You look at the man again, side-stepping towards him, and commenting again, “It’s much better than the hot night.” He looks up, his eyes making direct contact with yours. You want to turn away, your face burning, but the dark blue of his eyes draws you in. Swallowing the spit in the back of your throat you start to rock yourself again, “Don’t you think?
“Yeah, I guess.” He smiles when he sees how awkward you’re being as you sway on the heels of your feet.
You cover your face with your hands, “I’m so sorry, my friends and I made a bet, I didn’t mean to bother you.”
“It’s fine. I got to meet and talk to you. Names Aki.”
You look at him, smiling a little, “It was nice meeting you, Aki.”
Aki can feel the heat rising to his face and his heart skip a few beats when you say his name for the first time. He doesn’t understand the feeling that is swirling in his stomach, and why his hands are sweating so badly. He just met you, so why does the sight of your smile make his heart beat irregularly in his chest? Swallowing the spit in his mouth, he returns your smile, “It was nice meeting you too, y/n.” Aki’s eyes travel behind you, watching as your two friends step out of the restaurant, leftovers in their hands. He points behind you, “Your friends are out.”
You peer over your shoulder, “Oh, I guess they are. I should go. I’ll see you around.” Taking one step back you raise your hand giving him a small awkward good-bye wave.
Aki watches you walk back to Power and Denji, his stomach still doing flips, and heart pounding. He watches you smile a big bright smile at Power, your arm hooking with hers, and the three of you start to walk away in the opposite direction. You look over your shoulder one last time, your cheek resting against Power’s shoulder, and give one last smile. He’s still looking in the direction you walked off in long after the three silhouettes disappear into the distance, the lights on the street buzzing, and he wonders if he’ll see you again soon.
~
Present Day
As the afternoon turns to night, the table becomes louder and louder, Power and Denji telling you of mishaps that had happened to them while you were busy with your own life, and Aki's body seems to relax against the chair he’s in, speaking and laughing more than he did at the start of the night. The plates of food from your table had long since been removed, replaced by alcoholic drinks and dessert. The tension in your body releases the more you drink and laugh, time feeling as if it's barely moving.
It’s not until a different waiter than the one who had first served comes up to your table with a check in hand, telling you that they're about to close that you realize how late it is. Looking around you see that the restaurant is empty excluding the employees.
“Oh, we’re so sorry,” you say, reaching into your bag and pulling out your card like the rest of the table.
“Fuck, Reze is going to be pissed,” he stretches the last of his sentence, “I told you I’d only be gone an hour tops…it’s been like four.”
Power laughs at him, raising the straw from her drink to point at him, “And that is why I don’t date.”
“You don’t date because everyone who dates you finds you annoying,” Denji throws back, moving out of the way when she throws an ice cube at him. You and Aki laugh next to them, your eyes and mind dazed over by the alcohol.
“We should do this again soon. I missed hanging out with you guys. Even you Aki.” You blurt out, eyes on the two idiots, not noticing the way Aki gawks at you.
It’s the first time since Power and Denji arrived that you acknowledge his presence, even though he’s sitting right across from you. And the fact that you finally did has the inside of his chest feeling a little warm, something that he hadn’t felt in a while.
Aki answers in a quiet breath when the other two don’t hear you over their play fighting, “We should.” A rush of emotions goes through him when you look at him, your eyes glazed over and your lips slightly parted. Time stops for the both of you.
The waiter comes back with your cards and receipts, walking all four of you out the front of the restaurant and locking them behind you. All four of you stare at the closed door.
“I think they didn’t want us to come back in,” Denji says, turning and walking towards his car.
“You’re driving? Didn’t you drink?” you ask, the floor underneath you feeling unsteady with every step you take.
Denji shakes his head, nodding towards a wobbling Power, “I have her to take care of.” He looks around the parking lot, “Do you need a ride home? I don’t see your car.”
“I took a Lyft here. And no, I don’t want to bother you, my place is the other way,” you pull out your phone holding it up facing him, “I’ll just take one back.”
“Not going to happen.” Aki interjects, “It’s late, and there are a lot of creeps, I’ll drive you home.”
“There’s no ne-”
“I’m not taking no for an answer. It’s not safe,” he interrupts your protest.
Denji speaks up as he steps backward towards his car, “Aki’s right. If you don’t want me to drive you home, let him. I think we would all feel much relaxed knowing we all got home safely.”
There’s a need to protest again, but instead, you just nod, hands clasped in front of you. You both watch as Denji wraps an arm underneath Power’s underarms and waves goodbye before loading her into the passenger side of the car.
“Come on, I’ll drive you home.” Aki sighs, hands shoved into his pockets, turning and walking away from you. With no other choice, you follow him to a white BMW, sweat forming in the palms of your hands, you wish you were someone else right now.
You get into the passenger side, hands folded neatly in your lap as Aki starts to the car, eyes flickering across the clean interior of the car and sniffing the faint scent of cigarettes. “I didn’t know you smoked.”
Aki’s fingers hover the screen in his car, a keypad popping up, “Yeah, I guess we haven’t seen each other in a while. Do you still have the same address?”
You nod your head and hum a response, “Yeah I guess we haven’t, and kinda, I’m still in the general area. I moved to a new condo a year ago. Here I’ll type the address.” You lean forward to put it in, your hand pushing his hand out of the way. The quick and simple touch of your skin touching his causes your face to burn, “Sorry.”
The car falls silent, except for his music, as he pulls out of the parking lot. You watch buildings pass you, feel the movement of the car when it turns, and can hear the thumping of Aki’s fingers against the steering wheel above the soft sound of the engine whenever the car stops at a red light. Neither of you says anything for a few minutes before the silence becomes unbearable.
“So how are things with your dad?”
“Um, th-they’re okay. He’s getting married, so that’s exciting,” You turn to look at him.
Aki’s fingers stop tapping against the wheel, blue eyes glancing at the GPS, “To Tomoe?”
You shake your head, laughing awkwardly, “They broke up a long time ago. No, um, it’s some woman he met abroad. Half his age.”
He reacts with a long, “Oh,” his fingers resuming their tapping on the center of the horn.
“Yeah,” you stretch out, the tense silence settling between the two of you once more. Staring out the window again, you notice that you're now in your neighborhood. The streets are empty and the lights to the windows of the buildings are all shut off, the only source of light coming from the street lights that run along the edge of the sidewalk.
Aki pulls up next to the condo building where you live, the lights from the lamps outside lighting the space up to the large glass door. The two of you remain still and quiet, staring at the road ahead. You feel as if you should say something. Feel the need to finish, and get closure, on the conversation from five years ago.
You can still hear the echo of the words you said that you didn’t mean and can feel the knot from that day lodged in your throat every time you think about it. Glancing at Aki you wonder how he feels about how you left things if he felt the same nauseating turn of his stomach when he remembers.
“Aki?” You whisper, swallowing the spit that forms in the back of your throat.
“Mmh?”
He turns towards you, both of his hands still resting on the wheel. He isn’t smiling at you, but he also doesn’t seem to be having the same emotional turmoil that you are, his expression unreadable. You open and close your mouth, losing the train of thought on what you wanted to say to clear the air, but with the way Aki appears unaffected by your closeness in the small space of the car, you decide that maybe he doesn’t need the same thing closure you do. “Um, Thanks for driving me home. You didn’t have to.”
He smiles at you, “It was nothing, and I really wouldn’t have been able to sleep if I hadn’t.”
“Well thanks anyway,” you reach for the door handle and open the door “I-I should go in.” You get out of the car, “Bye, Aki.”
Aki lifts one of his hands and gives you a small wave, “Good-night, y/n.”
You close the door behind you and walk a few feet up the pathway to the door, pulling your keycard from the back of the pocket attached to your phone. The ground underneath you still feels a little unsteady, but you manage to get to the front of the building, up the three stairs, and into the building.
When you're closing the door you notice that Aki’s BMW is still parked outside. His dark tinted windows are rolled up, and though you can’t see him you still raise both your hands and wave a last goodbye smiling with your head tilted to your left, before stepping away and heading towards the elevator. Your phone dings a second later, a tiny smile spreads across your face when you see Aki’s name pop up again for the first time in years, and you open the text, the smile spreading a little wider despite the words deepening the ache in your chest.
Sleep tight. See you around.
main masterlist
pls remember to reblog if you like any of my recs, luv you and thank you in advance❤️
WHY ARE ALL OF THEM SO FUCKING GOOD????????! pls tRUST me
gojo eating you out
gojo x dacryphilia
gojo loves fat pussy
sending gojo an accidental nude so he sends you a whole video
car sex with gojo
gojo being goofy in an elevator full of people - he´s big on PDA
gojo tried to give himself a haircut and now wants to go bald - this is fuNNY ksksks, I love the banter
trying to break up with yandere!gojo - yep, we´re talkin about lovesick toxic obsessed type of gojo, break up????? you know better than to tell him that sooo since you´re acting dUMB he has to fucc so sense into you bc clearly you forgot who tf ur talking to - LDKJSDFJDJFHLSHFLSHDF but he´s not rough bc he luvss you a lot
gojo is the pussy fairy - fwb, he´s your sneaky link when henessy makes you act up. he got a mf tongue piercing bYEE
insecure bully!gojo - angst, lil fluff, he´s a bully but he´s in love with that, but it´s not enough. part 2
the horniest - smut, ITS SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD, he´s horny af, pussy drunk, obsessed, borderline crazy for that wap
phone calls - slice of life, hubby!gojo, dilf!gojo, his wife and his daughter are his only priority, this is so sdkfjskdjfh :´( i love it
cherished moments - clanleader!gojo, hubby!gojo who is a softy for his wife, #simp
family moments - fluff, slice of life, this is so wholesomeee, bf!gojo meeting your parents for the first time, i love it
someone older - smut, rich dilf!gojo, big age gap, big dicc too, talks big shit as well, "what do you do when your boyfriend cheats? you go to his house and fuck his dad" I MEAN- skdfhksdf
best of the best - smut, fwb! satoru, big sHIT talker omg, he lit asks you to be his gf wHILE he´s making you cum,,,,,best bf ever tho
love struck - fluffy, ex-fuckboy!satoru, he´s experiencing love for the first time :((((( IT´S SO CUTEEEEEEEEEE
love dumb - fluff, blurb, you make him lose his composure, can´t even focus bc you´re over there existing, someone should make a longer version of this! so good
too much - ANGSTTTYYYY, fluff too, reader and gojo are in a situationship kinda thing where they live together and love each other but nothing has been said yet, they get into an argument bc gojo has a big mouth and says a lot of hurtful things, they´re both just so exhausted
i know you still think about the times we had - angst, fluff, rich bf!gojo, his father makes you break up with him, it´s so angsty omg, they get into this HUGE argument bc gojo´s dad is a controlling mf
sanctuary - fluff, lowkey angst, weak!reader, bully!gojo, nah he´s just in love but doesn´t know how to say it
the road to falling in love - fluff, strangers to lovers, it´s a collection o moments where keeps falling harder for you, I LOVE ITTTTT, sdkfjhskdjf it´s kinda slow burn but not boring at all
loving you - fluffy af, "you’re the apple of his eyes; the love of his life. the only one who matters" ME N WHO???? pls this made my want to cry my heart out
yuji finds out gojo has a family - fluff, lowkey angst, hubby!gojo, dad!gojo, so,,, this made me cry, i love yuji sm he deserves the world :( this is part two and it also made me crY MY MF EYES OUT :))))))))
i´ll meet you forever in this memory - fluff, college au, married life au, it´s so good, he lit has this big ass plan to make you fall for him, and i mean big, like planned way ahead lmao, 10 years later he´s still asking you to go out with him,,,,even if you´re already married sdlfkjkdfhlsdjh so so cute
can´t stop drinking - ANGST, death, blood, dad!gojo, husband!gojo, mentions of wanting to die, a curse kills you and your son allegedly but in reality the elders had lied to him all these years, part 2 made me fucking cry, PLEASEEE I NEED PART 3
hype man - crack, fluff, supportive bf!gojo, he´s such an amazing bf :(, “damn, my girl ran you over with a bus, reversed, then got out and shot you twice in the foot? what did you do?? sounds like a you issue.” LMAOOOOO this is so cute and funny at the same time, i love it, such a gojo thing to say
flicker of flame - fluff, nervous soon to be dad!gojo, pregnant!reader, he´s going to be the best dad ever
when you break up and make up - nanami divorce au, angst
dorm room escapades - smut, dad´s bestfriend!nanami, age gap, GAWWDD DAMNNNN, daddy kink, this is some good stuff
you ask him to fuck you like a whore - its a short one but me likey
nanami drabbles - pwp, pls yall readdd part 2 and part 3
nanami is strong af - short blurb, smut, sdflksjd this got me giggling and shii
fifteen minutes - “Say that again. Louder. Can’t hear shit with the sound of my dick slapping into your cunt.” that´s all I have to say, your honor
protective - headcanon, hubby!kento, i love thissss
swear it´s just right for you - smut, fluff, hubby!nanami, I´m weaaaak, he´s so husband material
stressed after work - boyfriend! kento, a cute lil drabble bc he loves your mere presence
labour of love - fluff, vanilla smut, lowkey angst if you´ve been keeping up with the manga/anime, loving hubby!kento, SO DOMESTIC, love making, :(
losing his mind - smut, dom!reader, hubby!kento, sub!kento, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW, 10000/10, now this is new
his protégé - fluff, slice of life, fiancé!kento, dinner time with yuuji, it´s so wholesome :´)
my future is with you - fluff, unexpected angst, this is SICKKKKKKK, the last senteces is fucking sickening, and NOT in a good way, so fucking wrong for that, I litteraly wanna dIE
tie my tie, marry me - fluff, slice of life, "the moment nanami knew he never wanted to tie his tie by himself ever again and wanted to spend the rest of his life by your side" please just do yourself a favor and READ THIS
putting you in your place - smut, reader is gojo´s brat little sister, mean!nanami, BRAT TAMER!NANAMI, HEAVY degradation, “Maybe this was your fucking goal all along. To have me ruin you on my cock and fuck the attitude out of you.” CALL 911
edging - smut, pwp, fluff, this,,,,this is one the BEST nanami smuts out there, i just know the description of the whole thing is 100% accurate, the details, the way this is written, the visuaLSsss ldskjfhjsalfh go read it pls
married man - fluff, work au, HE IS A PROUD HUSBAND OK, the man was just waiting for somebody to say sOMETHING sljsdhfl now he can´t stop bragging about his perfect wife
toji x size kink
toji x pussy spanking ´till you´re squirting - the title says it all,,, he´s MEAN
toji doing push ups with you on his back - you´re basically a rag doll,,,bc wdym he puts you in a fULL NELSON??
toji gets embarrased - the man WHIMPERED bc the riding was gewdd so reader kinda teases him for it, how dare she right? so now he has to make her pAY bc he aint no bitch
silk sheets n sticky cum - toji can´t control himself when he sees you in a nightgown so he uses you as a cum dump,,, in a very romantic way flsjdflkssldfjlsdfh, breeding kink
toji x overstimulation - fINALLY he got what he deserved, reader got him WHIMPERING, body shaking eyes rolling to the back of his head and everythangggg, I'm here for it.
take it lil princess - toji got me fucked up, straight up size kink like FRRRR he wants to break, bend and basically snap you in half (i´ll let him tbh), daddy kink, he got a big dicc as aLWAYS, the degRADING DIRTY TALKKK???? yes. he talks and talks and tALKS. there´s a lot going on yall
mine - toji mixed with monster!porn,,, nothing else to say- HE´S A WEREWOLfff, mean asf, breeding kink, daddy kink, size kink, it´s nasty
jealous daddy - slice of life, dilf!toji, megumi is a baby, toji and megumi create a plan to keep you away from megumi´s kindergarden teacher lmaooo, its so cute
nyphomaniac - smut, nypho!reader, dom!toji, THERE´S A WHOLE LOTTA STUFF GOING ON HEREE, just read it omg
family man - fluff, soft dad!toji, baby megumi, husband!toji, he´s a softie for his son and his wife ;(
unprecedented reveal - smut, fluff, mma!toji, journalist!reader, lowkey angst, "photo leaks of toji going down on you in public is suddenly exposed for everyone to know about the infamous fighters girlfriend" wELL dssdfh that´ll do it
will always be yours - smut, fluff, so basically toji only does rough sex, doggy style being his fav, but when it comes to you he prefers the loving-face to face-intense eye contanct type of sex (more like love making) bc being with you makes him feel ten different emotions at once :) DÑFLJSLDFJ
unspoken memories - fluff, lowkey angst, dad!toji, baby!megumi, married life, my heart is so full after reading this, it´s so domestic, so adorable, such a happy read
make a mess on his face - smut, toji is a messy pussy eater, that´s it, that´s the tweet
gimme, gimme more - rich!geto x stripper!reader, lots of plot and build up, he is misteriousssss and fucking filthy and so cuTE??????? wtf, the wating game is real, he knows how to play his cards very well, LAWDD HAVE MERCY i would have folded too
gripping the headboard with one hand - smut, “what a slut.” hELP
protective hubby - teacher!suguru, pregnant wife oc, it´s cutee
focus - suggestive, flirty!geto, tutor!geto, “you’re doing so good for me… keep going.” I HATE ITTTTTTTT, i would fold like a mf lawn chair bitch OOF
dress shopping - very suggestive, WHY IS HE SO SMOOTH WITH IT ALL THE TIME??? got me blushing and sweating and shit
phoque - crack, teacher!suguru, twin girls dad!suguru, he accidentally curses in front of his daughters and now he´s gotta make up some bullshit story to save his ass, SLFHSLDKJHSLDH this is funny
picture perfect - smut, photographer choso, he´s lowkey a perv, jacks off to oc´s pictures
suckig souls - smut, succubus oc, somnophilia, sub! choso, lil dacryphilia, love love love love it
meanie - smut, mean!choso, “Why you actin’ like some dick-starved whore? I fucked you good this morning" THE WAY I SCREAMEDDDDDDDD “Is that what you needed, princess? Some good dick?" STOOOOOOOOOPPPP
your pleasure - smut, squirting, choso discovers the magic of eating pussy :))))) aND he´s a fucking natural too like ???? gTFO
it´s too much - smut, dom!reader, inexperienced!choso and sub!chose fics are like crack to me, i´m obsessed, this is so detailed, he is eager to please sdlfjls and wants to try it all at once
fingers in his hair - smut, chose loves having his hair pulled when he´s eating pussy,,,,,,,CALL A MF AMBULANCE a bitch just died
cherry blossoms - smut, virgin!choso, phone sex, it´s his first orgasm yall, not yuji talking about a "sloppy toppy" LSJFHLSJDFHLFDH he´s so outta pocket
vivid fantasies - smut, sukuna wants to bone you and he makes it yuji’s problem sakfhkshfksfd poor yuji
gojo and geto are rich besties and they coax you into a poly relationship - smut
you slap their ass - reaction. gojo, geto, sukuna, nanami, choso, toji, megumi, itadori, yuta
too much for them to handle - toji and gojo version. it´s a LOT going here as well. gojo is a whole swiTCH. toji is a bully in the sheets so you know he´s all abou that degrading teasing dirty talk, we love it
slut him out - gojo, geto, nanami and toji version. y'know what,,,idek what to say about thi- IT´S NASTY FILTHY JUST PORN, reader is a whOre (not my words), read at your own risk bc i was SHOOk
how jjk men like it - smut, the gojo and toji one,,, i HATe it hereee
bimbo bunny - smut, choso, toji and nanami version, the vISUALs I GOT FROM THE NANAMI ONE LAWDDDD
birthday boy - smut, birthday sex, dacryphilia, i just KNOWWWW this is geto
I want amber to adopt me
in which you take care of a drunk, clingy kazuha.
when men had stormed into your home and obnoxiously chanted, “emergency, emergency!” you hadn't expected the so-called urgent crisis to be...
“what are you doing...?” you gazed at the inexplicable picture that was kazuha choking hugging a crewmate and at least five bulky giants attempting to pry him off, all of which were failing miserably.
“kazuha had one too many drinks,” someone belonging from the crux fleet helpfully supplied, gesturing to the empty bottles of sake scattered on the table. “and he's become some sort of a hugging monster.”
which, honestly, still didn't explain why you were brought here. “so... why did you call for me?”
“please take him home,” begged another man, kneeling by your feet and tugging on your pants. “please.”
“hey!” a voice chimed in warning, followed by a hiccup. you turned your head to face kazuha, who had finally let go of the traumatized man gasping for breath in the corner. “don't touch,” hic, “[name]!” he pointedly steered threats towards the beggar(?) before you, approaching with wobbly steps.
you caught him with your arms when he inevitably stumbled, too inebriated to fully function. “woah there, are you okay?” he clung to you tightly, pulling you down with his weight. “who let him drink this much?!”
“captain challenged him to a drinking match.”
figures.
“archons...” you heaved a defeated sigh, hoisting up your giggly companion. you placed one of his arms to rest on your shoulders and held him up by the waist, sending an accusing look to a nearby crewmate. “why don't you take care of him?”
“we got our hands full with beidou.”
again, figures.
appearing not too pleased by you neglecting him, kazuha roused awake, leaning far too close to your ear than necessary. “[name]...” he breathed rather than spoke, lips nearly brushing against your skin. “where are you taking me...?”
blood rushed to the tips of your ears. “please don't make it sound like i'm doing something illegal.”
“i can't believe you had it in you, [name],” said beidou, clearly intoxicated with alcohol. she took a swig from her jug and loudly announced, “taking advantage of, hic, kazuha of all people!”
your cheeks burned hotly, amplified by the booming laughter spreading across the tables. “i am not doing such thing!”
kazuha whined, slurring his words. “you... won't do anything...?”
“i swear you're doing this on purpose.”
you were absolute sure he was. tilting his head to your neck, stumbling conveniently, and whispering words to your ear in a calculated manner — he had to be doing this to rile you up. either that or he had the natural makings of a player, with all the flowers that come out of his mouth instead of proper words, unknowingly charming innocent victims with his alluring voice.
“don't be too rough with him, okay?” one cooed in jest as you passed by him, your pace hastening with each teasing comment while dragging kazuha with you. “poor guy's nearly unconscious.”
“i'm not doing anything to him, so shut it!” you retorted, not quite as intimidating as you wanted to be when your face was the same shade as a ripened apple.
“boo, coward.”
“no chickening out!”
“dear archons, please give me patience...” you bit on your bottom lip, deciding to stay silent and cut off the pointless conversation once and for all.
“[nameeee]...” kazuhaa drawled out, tripping on his own feet. you yelped and barely kept your balance.
“what is it this time-” you risked a glance at him, groaning in irritation, and you immediately pulled back your head when your face was closer than intended and you'd just brushed noses. goddamn it.
“pay attention to me!” he demanded as a bratty child would, except a child wouldn't stare at you so deeply and pepper your face with kisses as a means to annoy you.
“what- no- stop moving around!”
“get a room!”
“shut up!”
getting pushed back to the sofa as soon as you arrived in your house wasn't the last thing you expected to happen, but you were plenty caught off-guard.
“kazuha...” you sighed, effectively pinned down to the couch with him looming above you. his face was buried to the space beside your head, unrelenting to rise. “get up. i have to take care of you, so let me go. you need water to sober up.”
“don't want to.” he stubbornly nuzzled his head against your neck for emphasis.
“this kid...” you exhaled exasperatedly. your fingers ran through his hair, loosening his ponytail. “please? you're crushing me.”
you felt him pause, considering the potential harm he may cause.
even in his terribly drunken state, his childish tendencies came into a full halt and he obediently rose from his position, though the pout on his face was apparent.
“there, good boy.” you praised and sat up, pleased with his docile behavior. “do you feel sick? need to throw up? i can get a few more pillows.”
“[name] is enough.”
“that's sweet, but i'll get seriously angry if you throw up on me.”
“i won't throw up...” his hand inched towards yours, shyly playing with your fingers. “i promise.”
fuck, he's adorable.
still, you liked to think you had self-discipline. you won't let yourself get swayed by a pretty face.
“well, what do you want to do then? feel like sleeping? it's late at night, after all.”
he sheepishly glanced at you, looking with a silent plea. “...stay with me?”
you take that back.
“you know what? fine.” you tugged him towards you and fell on the cushions, wrapping him in a hug. “friends cuddle all the time. this is fine.”
yes, most certainly. this was quite the intimate act, but not totally exclusive to lovers. you chanted that over and over again to convince yourself, belatedly ignoring the fingers softly tracing patterns on your skin that seemed to stray off the levels of platonic.
“what are you trying to do, really...” you groaned, sanity escaping you. kazuha's expression remained vacant, unapologetic for his touchy nature.
“can i kiss you?”
kill me now.
“what if i say no?”
you wouldn't, of course you wouldn't. kazuha knew that too, that's why he didn't flinch and proceeded as if nothing happened. he reached his hand to your face, tracing the edge of your chin.
“would you?”
you stayed silent, and kazuha takes it as his cue.
his lips pressed gently to yours, relishing in the plush softness. your heart picked up its pace, thudding loudly in your chest, and it only raced faster when you felt the sudden sweep of his tongue on your bottom lip, prodding for permission. you stiffened considerably, but you let your eyes close and you lose yourself in the sensation, reciprocating the kiss and fingers grasping on his shirt for purchase.
you were momentarily surprised by his abrupt shift in position, his hand relocating to the back of your neck to pull you impossibly closer, and when you open your eyes, you see pools of red, admiring each expression you make.
“you-” you pulled away, startled into wiping away at your mouth. “don't open your eyes...”
his eyes crinkled at the edges, mirth warming his gaze. “sorry, i couldn't help but get curious.”
you grumbled incoherently, tasting sake on your tongue. “so? when the hell did you get sober?”
at first, he stared at you blankly, processing your words. then his lips stretched into an abashed grin, bringing his hand to shyly rub the back of his neck. “ah, i've been found out?”
#BFE2FD ┈ scaramouche (wanderer) x gn!reader ; genre/trope: an angsty christmas special! ; wc 3000+ ; warnings: just an unrequited love fic... mentions of happy people idk
[6:44pm] gingerbread lingers in the air, despite the fact that you had shoved your pathetic attempt of a house in the bin a while ago.
still, the scent remains amidst the twinkle of christmas ornaments and the rustle of golden tinsel. like a mockery of fate, it hangs around from early night when you had given up waiting, to the current midnight when the flicker of christmas lights along the neighbourhood was beginning to fade.
it seemed that this christmas, you would have to spend it alone.
of course, it hadn't always been like that. your friends from distant regions had all tried their hand to invite you to various parties. most offers had been simple pleasantries since there was only a handful of those who didn’t know you reserved this special night for an equally special someone, and the others you had to let down gently.
"i'm so sorry!" you had replied. "i already have plans for the night."
some of your friends, like zhongli, had hummed thoughtfully. "i see. it is always nice to spend this festive season with your loved ones. it is a shame i couldn't spend it with you, however."
"there's always next year." you found yourself apologising again, though in your heart you knew the situation would only repeat. "and i'll see you at the new years party."
“new years, hm? then i suppose i will have to settle for seeing you then. have a wonderful christmas, name.”
hu tao beams from his right. "we'll be seeing you there! have fun with your special someone!"
others, had been a little less understanding, their whines and protests dragging on into the day.
"can't we see each other even for a second? please, please?"
"klee, name has already told you they'll be busy." albedo had interjected, appearing at her side, attention only partially directed at the conversation.
the child pouts, fists balled at her side. "that isn't fair! i wanted us to sing jingle bells, all three of us! and to decorate the christmas tree, and to see all the christmas lights! then, we were meant to stay up to meet santa and leave gifts for him!"
"i'll still be there." albedo points out.
"it's not the same."
you laugh. "i'm sorry klee, i'll make it up to you next time."
"you said that last time. you were meant to make it up to me today." klee sniffles. "are you a liar, name?"
"alright, klee, that's too far." albedo frowns. "you have to say sorry."
"it's okay! besides, i'm the one in the wrong." you crouch down to talk face-to-face, gently wiping away the stray tears fallen on her cheek. "how about we go fish blasting on new years, hm? we can go to every pond and lake in teyvat, we'll do it for however long you like."
"really? what about santa?"
“your big brother albedo will invite him!” pointedly ignoring albedo’s gaze, you keep selling your point. “we’ll have so much fun, you’ll see.”
albeit still a little upset, klee snorts up the last of her outburst and nods.
“i pinky promise this time." you wrap your pinky around hers and gave it a tight squeeze.
"you pinky promised this time. don't break it okay?" she repeats in a small voice.
you nod, standing back up. turning to albedo, you also give him a soft smile. "sorry i can't make it either, to your christmas party."
"it was sucrose's idea, i think that apology should be for her."
"still, i would have wanted to spend christmas with you."
"why can't you?" his eyes startle you in all its clarity as he turns, question capturing you on the spot. his clipboard seems almost disregarded in his arms.
"i have plans!" you blurt out. “i’m… busy.”
albedo looks at you and for a second, you’re sure he can see right through you. "a significant other?"
the chill from dragonspine is chased from your body, a prickling red flush hot in its pursuit. "no, no way, nothing like that!" after a pause, you awkwardly rush to finish the sentence. "not yet, anyway."
he smiles in return at your confession before leaning down to face klee. "come on, we shouldn't bother name anymore. they have things to do." and then to you, as klee scurries away excited at the prospect of another adventure, he wishes you luck.
“i’ll deal with the santa.” he turns, waving back slightly before ushering klee inside.
some friends already knew the man in your heart, and their invitations are gateways for jokes.
"coming to my christmas party, name?" yaemiko had suggested, before her hand flies up to her mouth. "oh wait! i forgot you have better things to do, and better people to see."
"what's this? you won't be coming?" ei perks up, eyes flickering above the book at her lap. "after all our preparations?"
yaemiko interrupts you before you can even defend yourself. "name here already has plans."
"with who?"
your face warms rapidly. "it's nothing."
"nothing? you're not coming to our party, for nothing?"
"stop it." you whine, burying your burning face in your hands. "you already know why i can't come, yaemiko."
"all the more reason why it's so very fun to poke at it."
"what? what is it? stop leaving me in the dark, you two."
"shall i do the honours?" yaemiko asks.
"ei, i made dinner plans with someone tonight. so, i can’t make it."
"oh?" the god replies. "and who is this person?"
you ignore the sly fox's chuckle, and press onwards to answer. "someone... special. someone i, someone i like."
yaemiko gasps dramatically before snickering. "blush any harder and you might come down with a fever, dearest name."
you cup your cheeks and scowl at her. "you're awful."
"and so is your love life. really, name, how long have you been pining for this man? and for this to be the first move you make is really something else."
"what she's trying to say," ei interrupts, aware of the murderous expression on your face. "is that we hope you have a good time with your special someone. though we will miss you, we hope for the best, really."
and some friends had known since the very beginning.
"eager?" tighanri asks, the very first words to leave his mouth as you enter his abode. when you don't reply, he turns to you. "it is today, right?"
"right." you groan into your hands. "should i postpone it after all? leave it to another day? what if i'm not ready after all, what if he doesn't even feel the same way as me and i look like a complete fool after everything i've done to prepare?"
"name, he would be completely stupid if he doesn't appreciate you. and you know if it doesn't end well, collei, cyno and i are joining everyone else to watch nilou perform tonight. no one will say anything if you sneak in."
you look up at him and smile. "thanks, tighnari. i don't know how but you always say the right things at the right time."
'it's called impeccable timing, i just so happen to have it. speaking of, here's the icing you wanted, for the gingerbread houses."
you inhale in the scent of sugar. "that smells really good."
"i know." turning his back to you, he begins fussing around his area. "i've been told i could make a killer wife."
"yeah?" you poke a finger in the bowl. "who said that?"
"collei."
placing your finger on your tongue, you hum in appreciation. "she's not wrong this icing is delicious. you could sell this, honestly."
"are you offering?" he turns around with a smirk.
"i can pay with friendship?"
he laughs, shaking his head. "i don't need that."
you stick a different finger in the bowl and eat that too, closing your eyes at the taste.
"do that again and the bowl will be empty before it's night."
"i'm not eating that much."
"here."
your eyes widen, bowl completely forgotten as you look at the wrapped present in tighnari's hand, adorned with a bright red bow.
"this... this is..."
"my present to you." tighnari replies, a smile on his face. "merry christmas name, i hope tonight goes well."
all these holiday wishes, abundant in counting, yet there was still a hole in your heart from where a special someone had yet to say it. you find your mind blank aside from a single, daunting thought, the blanket you had hastily placed over your shoulders failing to keep the cold as the hours went on.
you replay the memory of your invitation to him over and over and over again, struggling to find any indication that he may just be late, may have just been caught in some last minute mission, that he would still be coming because he had said yes. you find that the invitation had been so causal, such a fly away suggestion, that he would have no choice but to assume it was an offering as friends, as comrades, rather than lovers. but that was alright, even if he came to your doorstep as a friend, because at least that meant he had come, because at least that meant you hadn't sat in your own home, more alone than any other day, for hours on end, waiting for the soft thud of his footsteps up to your door.
because at least that meant he hadn't stood you up.
you had definitely just been stood up.
the frosty breeze outside causes your nose and ears to tinge. you rub your arms as the cold settles in, but even the chill from the night wasn't enough to suffocate your thoughts. the crunch of snow, the whistle of the wind, the scuttering of cats as you near a little too close, all these things were not enough to erase the meaningless thoughts in your head.
it had all been so promising, the progression of your relationship, the final moment of courage that made you ask, the smile that he sent you, so full of adoration though now you can only wonder if it had all been your imagination. as the snow rains on, you wonder if you’ll forever associate the light sprinkling of white to this very moment, where the disappointment is enough to submerge you.
well, tighnari had said you could always join him, if all went wrong.
"a christmas night alone for you, name?"
you look up, squinting at the rush of snow. a single figure stands in the distance, something about his posture so familiar to you. at last, you place a name to the face and you huff a cloud of steam into the air.
"scaramouche, no, the wanderer." you reply, his name dry on your tongue. "i wouldn't be mocking me if you were doing the same."
he shrugs, closing the distance between the two of you. you find him wearing a red scarf, and the very sight of it reminds you of someone else. "i choose to spend my christmases alone, though i don't think that would be the case for you."
"how can you be so sure?"
he smirks, the gesture so natural to him. "you've been crying." when you rush to rub at your eyes, he chuckles, loud and unapologetic. "rubbing it will only make it worse, don't you think?"
"shut up, wanderer."
“not in the mood to talk? that hurts me, especially on a beautiful night like this.”
you huff, letting the cold from your fingers settle into your burning eyes. “whatever. just leave me alone.”
silence, though not the type you like. you wonder why you can’t here the sound of his footsteps leaving you like you were so sure he was going to do. after all, the relationship between the two of you had never been close, simply friends of friends, sparing one another a nod in acknowledgment and maybe a few snarky remarks.
when you look up, he’s still standing there, illuminated by streetlights.
“why aren’t you leaving?”
“what kind of person would i be to leave a crying woman alone out on the street?”
“the same type of person you’ve always been.” you sniffle, cold.
the gesture isn’t lost on the wanderer, and with a sigh, he begins to unravel his scarf. you frown, backing away slightly.
“what do you think you’re doing?”
without a word, the wanderer takes a step, and then another until he’s right in front of you. catching your eyes, he huffs, the steam blowing over your face, before slinging the scarf around your neck.
at his touch, you fall silent.
“so.” he begins. “who was the one that broke your heart?”
“it was no one.” you do a poor job at avoiding his eye.
“i’m not a patient person, name.”
again, you ignore him, shuffling into the scarf around your neck. though it hurt your ego to admit it, the world around you definitely felt warmer.
with a tsk, the wanderer jabs a finger at your forehead and pushes back, forcing you to look up with a yelp. your eyes meet, and an insult raises to your tongue. “what the fuck! let go of me.”
“answer the question. who stood you up?”
you shake yourself from his touch and wiggle backwards, placing distance. “it was childe, if you have to know. jesus, wanderer, your finger is cold as shit.”
“childe?” the wanderer repeats. “childe? you’re all sad and moopy because of childe?”
you glare at him. “shut it. i don’t need you to criticise my love life.”
finally, a loud laugh escapes his throat. he even throws his head back, though you were almost positive your confession wasn’t even the least bit funny. that doesn’t stop him though, a hand wrapping around to clutch at his stomach, his laughs quickly becoming gasps of air.
“yeah, yeah, laugh all you want. no really, thanks for that. it’s really helping.”
the wanderer peeks up at you through one eye, the most vibrant smile you’ve ever seen on his face still remaining. “oh you have no idea how much that made my day!”
“i think i have a rough idea.”
“you’re hilarious, name. what made you go ahead and fall for childe?”
“your heart is as cold as your fingers, wanderer. besides… i didn’t say i liked him.”
“you didn’t have to. the red on your face is enough.”
your heads cover your cheeks again, cursing your body for being so expressive. “whatever. now let me leave.”
“hold on.” his arms stops you from walking past him, his gaze lingering at your waist before he pulls back. when he turns to face you, you don’t step back despite the proximity. it felt like a challenge, like he was daring you to back down. “you’re really spending the christmas alone? seriously?”
“it doesn’t concern you.”
“well i’m about to make it concern me. spend the christmas with me.”
this time, it was your turn to laugh. “you’re kidding me, right? we barely know each other. and you totally laughed in my face, like, a second ago.”
“you just did the same thing to me just now.” he points out. “it cancels out.”
you hold your ground. “i am not spending the christmas with you. what, are you asking me out right now?”
“why? getting nervous?”
“as if. you’d have to be the last person on teyvat for me to go on a date with you.”
“that’s harsh.” his breath fans over your face as he laughs. “i would have gone on a date with you if you asked.”
“well, i’m not.”
he hums, and something in his gaze changes, like a gear clicking into place. “but i am.”
you hate that his words leave you flustered, blaming it on the fact that his suggestion had been absurd and abrupt and not the fact that he was looking at you the way you always hoped childe would. “wanderer, don’t joke. i’m really not feeling that right now.”
ignoring your words, his fingers creep up your arm, leaving a warm trail, dragging upwards to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “well, you’re not the worst thing i could pick up on a chirstmas night.”
“woah, you really have a way with words, huh.” your heart beats faster, a betrayal to your mind. even as you speak, you find yourself enchanted by the way he looks at you, like he was holding you in the palm of his hand.
“not pushing me away?” his fingers drift up your cheek, and you shiver.
then, his hand finds purchase on the top of your head, fisting a handful of your hair and yanking it up. you yelp, hands flying to the spot of pain, words of protest already on your tongue, your mind telling you that you knew it, you knew he was up to no good, when his words cuts through the panic and freezes you.
‘look.” he says, his tone somewhere between disinterest and humour. “what’s above us, hm, name?”
you study the green above the both of you in a daze. “mistletoe.”
lighter this time, he lowers your head so he can look at you, fingers caressing your head slightly as if it will erase the pain. and it does, in a wonder that only christmas can bring, you find yourself speechless. the boy in front of you doesn’t register, though you can’t miss his degrading smile and the way his head is tilted for your response. you can’t move however, unsure if moving will break the moment, unsure on why you are so hesitant to end the situation when you really should be ending it, unsure on the warmth blossoming in your chest.
with another hand, the wanderer swipes a finger under your lip before letting it drop to pull you closer by the waist. “not protesting anymore? i always thought the snarky part of you was your only redeeming factor.”
you open and close your mouth, then open it again.
“i guess your stupidity has it’s own charm.” he snickers. “you’re bright red.”
“i’m bright red?” you squeak.
“mhm.” leaning in, he finally closes the distance.
and when your lips meet under mistletoe, it isn't the soft caress of his tongue that you notice but that he didn't quite taste like gingerbread.
merry christmas everyone! whether you celebrated yesterday, or you're celebrating today, or even if you don't celebrate at all, i hope you all have a wonderful day with friends and family !! ☆ i'm a little busy so sorry for the draft (again) !!
It is our duty as feminists to protect and respect women in Hijabs
May 31st 2021