Vigil ✤ Kazuha

V i g i l

A/N: Here is the Kazuha angst, sweeties :')) I wrote this with my prepared angsty playlist hehe- I.. well, my heart cracked..

✤ She/her

Words: 3.9k

"Text in this format means dialogue in flashback!"

≿————- ❈ ————-≾

The memory of peering into the crib with excited blabbers remains fresh, untarnished with the passing of time.

It feels like it’s just yesterday when your mother reached for the wailing baby laying inside to hand him in your caring touch.

“This is your little brother, [Name].” you squealed when the boy clung unto your finger, “His name is Kazuha. Be a good sister for him, understand?”

“Yes!”

Ah, that did feel as if it was just yesterday.

“Nee-chan!”

Dropping the basket of laundry, you frantically looked around.

“Nee-chan!”

“Kazuha-!?”

He was sprinting, arms flailing as tears spilled past his eyes and panicked exclaims left his lips. His friend was chasing him from behind, laughing as he waved an undercooked fish—your brother’s worst nightmare.

Comedic but understandable.

“Tomo’s making me eat it!” your younger brother mumbled behind you, pointing accusingly towards his friend who sheepishly spluttered excuses at your stern gaze.

Taking the skewered fish in Tomo’s hands, you hummed, patting his and Kazuha’s heads.

“How about I cook something for the both of you, instead? How’s that sound?”

“Yes, please! Nee-chan’s cooking is the best!”

You can never get tired of cooking for the two of them, even if your sibling eventually asked to be taught, you find yourself still taking over cooking duty. Lovingly whipping up dishes is your forte.

It stuck around when the household eventually lost the attending servants following the fall of the Kaedehara clan. It even stuck through the grim times of your parents’ passing.

Kazuha had went through so much at a young age, changed little by little—and you aren’t oblivious to it. With his growth, you are a witness to his budding shell of maturity.

Single years fold into a decade and all of a sudden, the mirthful silverette who doesn’t last a day without calling you ‘big sister’ has grown up.

Far too quickly, to be honest, but who are you to hold him back?

“You don’t call me ‘nee-san’ nowadays,” you laugh jokingly, “My, you’ve grown so much, Kazu!”

He stares at the plates of food you set on the dining table, his sigh small and feeble as you continue gushing. Albeit he has a smile on his face, it appears tight. Forced.

But you turn a blind eye to that—you’ve always been doing it.

Now, however, it seems that your brother has grown tired of humoring you. It has been going on for too long.

“I’m not some child anymore..” his monotonous voice is so unlike him—it’s as if he no longer is the person you grew up with.

Having him address it bluntly prompts you to pause, the only sound being the sizzling of unagi meat, frying to perfection. The richness of its color, however, dulls when you process what your sibling has mentioned.

As if its vividness is an illusion meant to shield you from present-day reality.

Still, you shake it away, keeping the smile on your face as you set the fried meat on a new plate, turning to put it down on the table beside the other dishes.

“Oh, Ka-“ you stop, seeing the look in his eyes.

The way his carmine optics bore against your [c]s is foreign.

It’s scary.

It’s different. It’s new.

You sit down in front of him, trying not to show how restless you’ve become. Such an attempt is futile, of course, since you’re in front of the person you’ve been with for years.

“Kazu-“

Thud!

Silence zips your lips when he lays his chopsticks down. It isn’t by any means a slam—but someone like Kazuha doesn’t need to be outright with anything in order to express a negative opinion.

“So please refrain from initiating unnecessary coddling,” he cuts you off with a swivel as he leaves for the door. “I have grown up now, sister. I... need you less.”

What?

A multitude of emotions hit you at once, all coming from his sudden statement that feels like it can tear you apart. But oh—who were you kidding?

You know that this will eventually come.

The very day where he admits that he is capable of being alone. Without you.

The opening of the door causes you to stand from your chair, “Wait!”

He does as you said but doesn’t look back. His hand remains on the handle of the knob, unchanging of his decision to leave.

You tug the black and red scarf from your neck, inching close to the man so you can wrap it around his neck. “It’s cold outside.. won’t you at least eat something?”

It takes him a moment to respond—but his decision does not change.

He detangles the fabric on his neck and, without looking you in the eye, sets it in your hand, rejecting your offer.

“Later.”

And he’s gone.

≿————- ❈ ————-≾

Nothing changed much after he left with that declaration.

Often times he still returns in the dead of night, a smile on his face. It will only ever droop when you come in the room greeting him a lovely evening, and he will sigh.

“I told you not to wait up for me.”

He will depart for his room before he can hear your explanation.

It leaves you hanging, hollow with bitter hope and refusal to believe that you both have reached that time in life where he doesn’t need you as much.

Each time he turns his back, you are filled to the brim with sorrow you didn’t know you’re capable of holding.

Retreating to the upper floor of your home, you will stay at the balcony sighing your concerns away to the stars. To the place where you believe your parents are staying, listening to your bouts of frustration and worry.

“Was I a good sibling for him, mother? Father?” you’ll sometimes mutter as you play with your silver locks, the only thing you share with your sibling other than the forgotten name of a once esteemed clan.

And as you vent all these to the stars, you remain oblivious to the lone figure hiding by the shadows in the adjacent room. His frown is tiny. Sad, but not guilty.

Kazuha will leave once again before he’ll hear his sister’s frustrated cries.

Sometimes, he will chew over it when he is wandering Inazuma—thinking, pondering if perhaps there could’ve been a way to say it without hurting his sibling. But as he contemplates over and over, he finds that there is no easy method to admitting the truth.

His friend Tomo, albeit not being told anything, is naturally cognizant of the things revolving around the silver-haired siblings. The older sister’s presence has been diminishing and he can count her appearances at Kazuha’s side getting less.

He has implied several times to make up with the female even if they had no outright argument, and when faced with a baffled question of ‘why’, Tomo only smiles.

“Because you’re family.”

So simple and yet—when Kazuha thinks of the matter a minute longer, the taste in his tongue becomes acrid.

“What upsets you?” his friend questions as he coos over his white feline, “You’re not the Kazuha who’s always crying for big sister, heh.”

The silverette cannot even find it within him to send a retort. His silence, to others, is a message that typifies a want to be alone—but to Tomo, who has known him since they’re both children, that silence is different.

With a hum, he stretches his limbs, yawning as his cat rolls around the grass.

“You know, [Name] won’t hate you for wanting it,” he starts, “You want to wander, don’t you? But you feel like you’re tied down. You’re grounded—because [Name] is here.”

Kazuha flinches and his friend snickers.

Spot on.

“I’m just going to repeat what I said because I meant it, Kazuha. Tell her the truth. She’s literally the most understanding person I know—it’s not like she’s going to despise you for wanting something.”

“… I’ll think about it.”

Tomo sighs. It’s not what I was hoping for but it’s a start.

Remembering something that moment, Tomo lets out a loud scream that nearly sent his friend toppling in the nearby stream of water. Kazuha looks on with slightly wide eyes as the other man jumps to his feet, violet eyes gleaming.

“Oh, right! I plan to initiate another challenge!”

Another challenge…

Kazuha closes his eyes with a hum, “I do hope you’ll last another. You’ve been faced with the worst of the worst.”

The chuckles that leave his friend’s lips are excited and sort of expectant.

“It’s going to be the ultimate one of all! So if you’ll excuse me~”

≿————- ❈ ————-≾

Perhaps a talk with your brother will do you both good.

You’ve both been acting like strangers walking on eggshells underneath the same house and it is driving you insane. He’s not even looking you in the eye anymore!

Given his quiet personality, confrontation will be difficult, but he’s a cooperative person. Besides, he always hears you out.

There isn’t any reason for him not to when he knows that this will be done only for the betterment of the future.

So, with a nervous disposition but eager heart to settle things right, you lift the basket from its place with plans to head over to the market. It’s an hour or two before dusk, just the perfect time to shop for dinner.

“Mm.. some dry-braised salted fish for tonight sounds lovely.” You muse, remembering how the dish is your brother’s favorite.

Ah, the number of tries he takes to perfect and stylish it into his own can’t be forgotten.

It doesn’t take too long to cook it, but you’ll be making tons of other side dishes and dessert, so it’s best to start early!

You exit the abode, the smile on your face present as ever even when you’re greeted outside by a couple of Shogunate Soldiers. Their features appear sterner, their hold on their naginata rock solid.

“Are you Kaedehara [Name]?”

Hm?

“Yes. Can I help you?”

The soldiers lunge forward, spears falling to a position pointing at you from all possible angles, cutting any means of escape as you furrow your brows. “What’s the meaning of this?”

“Your brother has defied the Decree of the Shogun and was hereby declared a criminal. Going against an Imperial Decree results in punishment inclusive to his immediate family.”

Your basket falls to the ground.

Thud!

Kazuha’s feet create a loud sound following his landing, a breath of panic expelling past as he rushes away.

The warmth in his hand escalates to a scalding degree, burning and searing like the fading power of Electro held within the golden casing.

To think that that was what Tomo meant.. !

He does not feel anger, no, just the burn of desperation and want to hide his friend’s Vision because he doesn’t want it to be taken away—to be placed in that statue that displays the lost ambitions of many others.

He’ll be damned before the Shogunate can take it… !

The criminal evades those at his tail, making swift maneuvers on rooftops and alleys without a second thought. His limbs are answering his every command, be it to duck, to jump—or to even draw his blade.

He is still ways away from the port but getting there won’t prove to be too complex for someone like him. He’s cut down plenty of the samurai in his escape from Tenshukaku,

Tomo…

“You’re family. Tell her.”

Family—

“This is the first one in a long time I’ve heard of it being extended-! To whom again? The clan that has lost its prestige a decade ago, right?” he almost trips in his sprinting, darting to an alleyway so he can further eavesdrop.

Did I hear that correctly?

A relieved sigh escapes when those chasing him run past his hiding spot.

Sucking in his breath, the silverette tightens his grip on the faded Vision of his best friend as he listens in the hushed conversation.

“Be quiet!” someone hisses, “If someone overhears us, what next? Still, I do feel bad.. they lost so much already. I can’t believe they’d drag an innocent person into it, too..”

“Well, there’s nothing we can do. The Shogun issued the penalty to immediate families, right? As far as I know, there are only two Kaedeharas left—”

Kazuha feels his heart stopping. Kaede..hara?

There’s no mistaking it.

But why—?

Why would a punishment meant for him extend to her?

She’s innocent!

Going off-course, he sprints in the direction of his house. The house that he lives in with his sister who takes great care of him—the same sister he’s willing to leave in favor of chasing what he wants in life.

He’s willing to, but he doesn’t.

Because perhaps—perhaps if he stayed and buried his desire, then he will amount to the same greatness she has done for him. But he cannot stand it, either. As patient as he is, as kind and ‘gentle’, [Name] can always see through his face.

He’s always been antsy—always itching to wander and he’s stumped that his sister is well-aware of that fact. Still, she’s always playing the ignorant one, pretending not to care- still coddling him as if he’s little and he’s had… enough of it.

But now that the situation has pinned this misfortune upon them, the ronin realizes that she’s only pretending for his sake, as well.

“Cut that out, I don’t need it. I fear that.. you will only embarrass yourself.”

Wasn’t it him who refused to tell her of his want to roam free in the first place?

“I understand that I am your brother—but there is no need to worry over me all the time. I can look after myself, [Name]. Do worry about something else, instead.”

Wasn’t it him who stuck around, still?

The bitterness in his tongue increases with each leap of his feet. He doesn’t even process the race of his heart as he’s carried through the same path that leads him home. To his family—to his only sister.

Everything seems to pass by slowly, in a blur, like the specks that decorate his vision the more his mind throws stacks and stacks of memories. This is madness.

Complete and utter madness.

He rounds the corner to see the figure of his only sibling, her back turned to him—she cannot see him, but he can see the armed soldiers flanking around her.

His throat tightens and certainly, he wouldn’t have been able to utter a word due to how it feels like his throat has been crushed.

“[Name]!”

Yet, the furious scream that tears past his lips denies all kinds of ‘impossibility’ the instant he sees the female falling to the ground, the sight of red splatter making him draw his blade.

Whoosh!

The summoned wind is opposingly gentle to the brewing storm in someone’s beautiful carmine eyes.

“[Name]-.. !”

That voice.. Kazuha?

Sometimes, the depth of emotion in Kazuha’s eyes is too deep for you to understand. Despite being so silent, he’s so, so expressive with his stares.

That even when he isn’t trembling when he lifts your torso, you know how much he’s quaking from within.

“What are you.. doing here? You have to go,” you cough red when he adjusts you in his arms, the sight of the fallen soldiers reminding you of the situation at hand. “Quick—before they.. catch you.”

He shakes his head,

“I’m taking you with me, I have a boat prepared, come, let’s—”

“Don’t lie to me, Kazuha.”

He pauses, flitting his gaze down to meet yours. You hate how you can’t seem to focus on him, though. Your sight is blurring in and out, only providing small intervals of clarity where you can see the panic in his features.

A sight you didn’t think you’d see on him until now.

“I know you made it for yourself. You’ve been planning to leave home, weren’t you? I’m not..” you’re not oblivious to his wish, “I’m not mad. I was only holding you back, wasn’t I?”

He sucks in a breath.

“I-I-“

What was he supposed to say?

Weakly tapping his arm, you start taking quick breaths—just to take in all the air you can while tolerating the gaping wound from being impaled.

It hurts. You want to scream. It hurts.

But you don’t—because you do not want to appear weak to your brother.

You promised mother and father that you will not cry when faced with problems—he mustn’t see, Kazuha mustn’t see. But at this moment, you just want to break apart. Disbelief is kicking in, you can’t believe this is happening.

When—where did everything go wrong?

“Besides, I’m not of use to you anymore. As if I’ll last the journey to Liyue-“

“Don’t say that!”

You blink owlishly, gasping out in pain when his hand presses against your wound, futilely attempting to hold back the bleeding.

“K-Kazuha?”

Your own hand shakily plants itself atop his own, helping him press—as if his hand isn’t heavy enough to stop the flow—it down. It will hurt, but you can’t say for sure. You’ve already grown numb and your head is swimming.

Still, you focus on him.

Still, you help him apply pressure even if you know—even if he knows—that it’s too late.

“Don’t say that. You’ve..” his voice cracks, “You’ve done so much, [Name], you-“

You took over the clan household when our parents died. You struggled to make ends meet for both of us. And yet.. all I do.. all I do is… !

Kazuha angrily bites on his lip, his hold on his composure beginning to slip as his mind throws in a reel of olden days.

“I’m leaving, [Name]. Please don’t wait up, I may take longer.”

“I’m grateful, but I don’t need that anymore.”

“Stop that, already.”

He dips his head with a muffled cry. All I do is wander and desire for a future where I can roam freely. I haven’t even thought of you..!

“You’ve grown, Kazuha,” he snaps back into this harsh reality when he feels the hand atop his disappear, presently moving to brush his messy locks.

He doesn’t know why all of a sudden his sight is becoming misty, but perhaps—perhaps it is because he remembers when his sister used to brush his hair the same way with a loving smile.

It is the same touch he flees from nowadays.

The same touch now—the same loving smile.

“As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right—you’ve grown so much.. and I’m still clinging onto the past.”

So lively, so beautiful and yet—

“You’re strong now..”

Yet it’s dying.

He presses harder on his sibling’s wound, almost sadistically—as if he’s hoping that it’ll ignite a painful reaction. “[Name], please, let me-“

Because if it hurt—then it means she’s still okay. She’s still responding.

“So capable.. so independent, you are.”

So why—? He almost chokes out a sob. Why are you not reacting to it!?

“Mother and father would be so proud of you. I am sorry if I was lacking in any way.”

“Please, [Name], you can’t do this.” He trembles, the composure he created so, so close to breaking as he gives up on endeavors that are pointless, to begin with. Instead, he tilts his head up, wishing to curse the heavens above.

For everything.

“I’m happy to be your sister, and.. I’m proud of you… Kazu..”

“Wait-“ he stumbles over his words, catching the falling hand of his sibling and registering how deathly pale she has gotten in a matter of seconds. “Wait, please—I-“

As much as he wants to voice out he’s sorry. For many things; for turning his back on her, for being distant when all they have is each other, he’s unable to find his voice when he sees the tears dripping out of his sister’s [c] eyes.

His strong older sister—weeping. It’s the first time he has seen her cry.

Her smile trembles—

“I love you. My nice.. little.. brother.”

—And her [c]s are then hidden forever.

The way she endearingly called him in her dying breath has him freezing, his heart pausing as if he had died along with her. But then the spark of pain welcomes him back to reality—to life.

And then he is leaning over her.

“[Name]..” breathless whispers escalate into panicked murmurs. “[Name]?”

His heart is pounding in his chest as he tries to shake her awake, like when he’d do when he’s eight and awake from an awful dream.

“Nee-san.. can I sleep by your side tonight?”

And although her [c] eyes are tired, she will still smile. “Okay.”

And she’d keep watch over him the whole night.

He’s reminded of it when he hopelessly shakes her awake, to no obvious avail. But he keeps grasping her arms, anyway, like he used to many years ago.

But things are different now.

“[Name]—[N-Name]!?”

He said it himself—he’s no longer a child.

“Please, don’t leave me- I- you’re all I have left!” The ronin’s composure finally breaks loose and his tears begin landing like a profuse waterfall. His uncontained sobs remain unheard.

This time, there is no one to wake him up from his nightmares.

“No—no, no- no, please..!” Kazuha weeps as he holds his sister’s cold hand, shakily pressing it to his forehead, imitating the sweet action she has always given him. A hand on his head, on his shoulder—or on his cheek if he’s tearful. “You can’t!”

She’ll tell him not to be sad because it’ll make her sad, too.

And he’ll hurriedly wipe his tears because ‘no! big sister mustn’t feel sad because of me!’.

Then [Name] will muster a smile as bright as the sun and hold his face in her warm hands, and press a kiss on his forehead. He’ll get red and thrash around, whining, ‘onee-san!’. And about how embarrassing it is so she mustn’t do it anymore.

Now, he is holding her hand in his own, trying to remember the same warmth it emitted just a day ago. Just a few hours ago. How long has it been?

And when he doesn’t feel the warmth—when he doesn’t remember the warmth, when all he feels is the cold and the obvious lack of love, Kazuha breaks apart.

His heart squeezes and his tears spill more, his lips parting to release the honorific he has dropped a long, long time ago. “Nee-san!”

“You don’t call me ‘nee-san’ nowadays,”

“Onee-san!”

“My, you’ve grown so much, Kazu!”

“Onee-san!”

I’m calling you. He cries, like a picture of misery. So why aren’t you waking up? Sister! He cries, like a heartbroken child.

The winds around him pick up, warning him of incoming men sent to apprehend and penalize him the same way they did to his sibling. It’s suffocating—maddening, even, and he wants to tear them all down himself.

But [Name] wouldn’t like that.

So, with a muted cry and bolster of willpower, he tears himself from the body of his kin, trembling.

He can hear the thundering steps of the samurai as he hurries to untangle the same black and red scarf [Name] has once attempted to give him. The same fabric he has rejected.

“I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry.” he hugs her with all his might, with his soul, and with his heart before he’s back up on his feet and running. I love you, too, nee-san.

“Get him!” someone roars from behind.

And although he wishes to turn and slice them away, he couldn’t—because he’d be seeing the fallen figure of the same person he had neglected to cherish. So, instead, he nestles the scarf around his neck whilst clutching onto the Vision of his friend.

Down the path, he runs.

Years ago, he will be accompanied by the people he loves, chasing a faraway future.

Now he is running on the same path alone, running after a dream that can now be turned into reality.

Far from Inazuma.

Far from home.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

a/n: did it hurt-

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　Return to the Scrying Glass　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

≿————-　taglist　————-≾

@lehra @melkxsh

velvet lies

pairing: gojo x fem reader synopsis: crippling debt and possible evictions have ruined you. working two jobs with no downtime, and a five-year-old son, you really don't know the meaning of taking a break. after continuous questions about his father, you have decided to finally let your son meet his dad. only thing is, he has no idea said son exists. and to top it off, you have not a single clue about what kinds of things will transpire from this sudden revelation. tags/warnings: 18+ MDNI, smut, fluff, romance, alcohol, classism, mom! reader, lying, abuse, MAJOR angst, slow burn, exes to lovers, cheating, scandals, drugs, drama, family drama a/n: hi everyone! this is where you can find the masterlist, again aiming for at least 15 chapters.

chapter 1: a not so good day

chapter 2

3K notes View Post

xiaotopia

3 years ago

welp I tried :/ I drew it with my fingers so it was hard <\3

4 notes View Post

xiaotopia

2 years ago

Levi x Reader

I’ve been brainstorming this for a while now so here ya go.

Summary: During Levi’s first battle with Kenny you come to his rescue only for Kenny to discover that you and his nephew have been married for quite some time

Disclaimer: I don’t own Attack on Titan or any of its characters no matter how much I wish I did, I also don’t own you which is a shame because if you’re reading this we clearly have the same interests and could be friends. I don’t own the GiFs below either I couldn’t choose which one so ya got both. Enjoy

Warnings: swearing, violence, sexual references, Levi being an amazing husband

Levi x Reader

You had heard the gunshots before anyone else had. They had echoed through the inner city of Wall Rose causing screams to rip through the air as the people below you ran in the opposite direction, their panicked yells ringing through your ears. You yourself had been flying through the Trosh District, your ODM gear whizzing as it grappled you from building to building, the wind clawing at your skin and blowing through your (y/h/c) hair, your eyes watering slightly at the sharp gails. Your brown cape flying behind you, you had been trying to locate the wagon in which Eren and Historia had been taken in.

You had to contain your exasperation, Eren was always getting kidnapped or injured it ran your husband ragged trying to protect that boy. Now the scouts were on the run from the law since Erwin was framed and it wasn’t easy tying to look after a group of inexperienced and immature scout children.

You and Levi had contemplated having children yourselves before the drama had begun and before you were wanted by the military police, but after trying to look after the ones in the Survey Corps it was beginning to dawn on you that maybe you wouldn’t mind waiting a little while longer.

More gunshots echoed catching you off guard, so much so that you had jumped violently in your line of trajectory, gritting your teeth you strained your body to pull yourself up and away from the streets below, the leather straps pulling against your slim body as you swung, trying to pull yourself upwards to avoid becoming flattened into the side of a house or the street below. Your muscles were aching from having to manuvor through the buildings, your heart hammering against your chest at your efforts to try and fend off the military police, they had new gear and new moves. You didn’t know who had taught it to them but the technique seemed familiar, it was unpredictable too messy for the usual standards of their combat.

You landed grunting slightly, on top of a roof, your eyes scanning the sea of houses trying to find out where the gunshots were coming from, you could make out a trail of grey smoke coming from the other side of the district. You would bet every last penny you owned that that was were Levi was, he was always right in the grip of danger he just seemed to be a magnet for it. You heard more people land around and for a split second thought they were members of the military police, you whipped around grabbing your blades pointing them at the throat of the nearest presumed enemy, only to freeze at the sight of Jean, holding his hands up in surrender quivering slightly.

“Easy (y/n) it’s just us.” Jean stammered, you glanced around to see Mikasa, Armin, Sasha and Conny surrounding you. Relaxing you sheathed your blade and backed away from the Jean the boy stumbling away sighing in relief.

“Do you know what happened to Eren and Historia?” you asked turning to Mikasa, the girl glanced up at you blood smeared on her face.

“Yes ma’am their heading towards the gates, we were on our way over.” she replied the others nodding. You sighed glancing back over to where the smoke was still climbing into the sky, explosions and gun shots still ringing through the city, you clenched your jaw.

You could go with the children and save Eren and Historia or you could let them go alone and go aid Levi with the military police. The answer seemed very obvious but if you let the kids go alone they could end up losing Eren and Historia and everything your fallen soldiers had fought for could be in jeaprody.

Too many lives had been claimed at the expense of Eren, not that it was the boy’s fault of course. You could still see the panicked looks of your squad as they were taken out by the female Titan only escaping death yourself as you husband swung in just as the female titan’s hand was about to swat you. You would never forgive yourself if your comrades had died in vein.

You chewed on your lip, the pressure of time clawing through your mind.

“Did you hear those gun shots?” Sasha asked the others nodding interrupting your thoughts.

“There was a man there, I saw him as I was going by.” Conny added, you perked up at the boys words turning your head slightly to hear him better.

“A man?” you questioned.

“Yeah” Connie replied “tall skinny, old looking wore a big black hat, draped in a black trench coat, quite scary.”

You froze, your heart stopped beating for a second as cold wave of dread washed over you. You knew the military police’s new fighting movements seemed painfully familiar, you knew they had a new commander but you wouldn’t have thought it was him of all people, the man you and your husband had resented together. If Kenny Ackerman was the one incharge of the military police then the situation was worse then you had thought it to be.

“Mikasa, Jean, Armin I want you to chase down that wagon, get Eren and Historia back kill anyone who crosses you. Sasha and Conny keep the skies clear make a path for them.” you commanded launching your grappling hooks onto the building your ODM straps pulling your body off the roof top, as your feet were about to leave the surface a hand grasped your shoulder holding you in place.

“Ma’am you want us to kill people? That’s not right!” Sasha cries out Armin nodding behind her “our enemies are titans.”

“Kid, I know it’s confusing but this isn’t the same world you were trained in. Things have changed, we don’t have time to be ethical we need to be direct and do whatever it takes to get those two back.” you growled, the conflict was evident in their eyes their own morals being strained by their orders. You knew they would do what was right and listen to you, but you understood their conflict but they all nodded hesitantly.

“Where are you going?” Armin asked quietly, you sighed looking out at the city where the destruction was coming from.

“I’m going to see an old friend. Now get moving!” you yelled before shrugging Sasha off your shoulder launching off into the sky not even bothering to look back at the teens as you flipped over the roof tops.

You could feel a growing anger inside you as you weaved through the streets, the gas hissing from your gear launching you higher and faster through the air, desperate to reach your husband and his uncle. You hated Kenny as much as Levi, the sick bastard leaving you and Levi to fend for yourself in the underground at a young age.

You yourself had been orphaned at a young age much like Levi, he and his uncle had stumbled across you trying to steal from them, what you were stealing you couldn’t remember but knowinf tje cruelty of the underground it could have been anything that meant survival. Instead of killing you, Kenny decided you would be of use to him, he taught you to use the ODM gear stolen from the military police members he had cut down, taught you how to fight and barter. How to say hello with a knife.

After time you and Levi had grown closer, nights spent huddled together for warmth and teaching each other new tricks with various weapons, even Kenny at some points had shown a rare and minor maternal side, it had felt like a small dysfunctional family. Maybe that’s what caused Kenny to turn his back on you, maybe it was all becoming to real for him.

On that day he had decided he’d had enough of playing ‘dad’, that greasy and disgusting man had tried to grab you on the street of the underground, Levi had jumped on him quick to rush to your aid and protect you like he always had. It was only after the beat down the two of you noticed that Kenny had gone, slipped out between the crowd and never seen again.

Of course after it had sunk in you and Levi had carried on with life, you had to. But Kenny’s abandonment had cut a hole deep in both you and Levi, one that had never fully healed. He was the only relative Levi knew he had, he was the only parental figure you had known, no matter how much of an alcoholic he was. So to have him here now of all places, you knew Levi would kill him if Kenny didn’t kill his nephew first. You were not willing to see that happen.

As you continued to navigate your way through the air you heard the familiar sound of ODM gear behind you, you already knew it wasn’t the Scouts. You launched yourself into higher abobe tje houses managing to execute a tight flip, as you spun round you managed to catch a glimpse of who was chasing you. Three members of the military police were hot on your trail, pistols in their hands where their blades should be.

Growling to yourself, you landed on a roof top making a mad dash across it your body screaming at you to run faster the air tight in your lungs. You heard one of them yell their bullets whizzing through the air. You grasped your cloak and threw it towards where the bullets were coming from, the shrapnel getting caught in the thick brown fabric acting as a shield.

You tossed it to the side and tumbled behind a chimney, the stone protecting you as you waited for them to have to reload. You slowed your breathing wincing as more of the bullets dented the stone, tensing your muscles waiting for the onslaught to stop you would be ready. As soon as the bullets stopped and you heard the clicking of bullets being changed you launched yourself from over the chimney, grabbing your swords and launching them at two of the military police members their blood filling the air flying onto your face, their eyes wide as your silver blades ripped through their flesh.

Launching your grappling hooks from your gear, the spiked latches flying through the final enemies head, a small hole being pierced through her skull, her brain making a cringe worthy squelch as the hooks propelled through her forehead and out the other side, her body spasmed violently before dropping to the floor. You were still in the air briefly landing on the roof grabbing your blades back and retracting your grapple from the woman’s head, her body lurching at the movement as you took off back into the sky, the bodies behind you sliding off the roof into the street below.

You released a grunt as you pulled yourself round the streets taking a final corner, the scene below you causing you to shudder, your brain almost stopped working at the sight before you.

About twenty military police members stood around what appeared to be a tavern, their guns all pointed at the windows and doors where you assumed Levi was hiding, fear hitting you like a lightning bolt at the thought of him cornered like an animal. But that wasn’t the only thing that made you panic, infront of the doors stood Kenny, his signature black hat resting on his head, his heavy boots making him stand at an intimidating height, lanky locks of greasy brown hair sticking out from under the signature hat. You could see his mouth moving and you knew he would be taunting Levi, it’s what he did best.

You grappled one last hook into a nearby house flying through the air drawing your blades holding them high above your head, years of pain and hurt bubbling inside of you finally having clawed it’s way from the depths of your sea of emotions. You knew you weren’t thinking properly otherwise you would have been much more strategic, years of training in the corps, years of experience with Titans had gone out the window. Kenny was no Titan. He was worse.

“KENNY!” you screamed, all eyes turning to you, Kenny’s expression shifting from one of mocking to one of surprise and unexpected shock. You careened toward him, not even caring what happened next as you swung your blades down hoping to land a blow to your uncle in law, a loud clank of metal could be heard as your blades clashed with his arm, he must have been wearing armour underneath the coat.

Damn. You thought to yourself, your arms shaking as you tried to push against him, his face twisting into a grim smirk. Your legs trembling at the amount of force he was pushing against you, you grit your teeth glancing at the cobbled floor your feet were sliding against. You glared definitely into his cold eyes, you weren’t going to lose. You were not as strong as Kenny, of course you weren’t, but you were smarter and quicker.

As he continued to push against you, you continued to glare at him giving a cocky smirk, his eyes widened before you dropped your weapons and ducked under his long legs causing him to stumble forward all his weight used to push against you sending him flying forward, you pressed a leg into his back causing his fall to be inevitable, his face crunching against the floor.

You held a blade to his neck from his position on the floor, his face hidden by the rim of his hat, but you could make out a sneer on his gaunt face. Your eyebrows knitted together, a low growl escaping your lips as you lean down to pick him up by the collar of his shirt a sudden surge of strength raging through you.

His face had aged, smooth creases sketched into his pale skin, his dark eyes still icy and uncaring, his face still pinched and thin from years of living in the underground. Kenny has been an admittedly handsome man in his youth, it could even be argued he was still rather attractive by older women, but to you he was the slime ball who had left two children to die.

He hadn’t seemed to change much personality wise though, his face twisted into an arrogant smirk flashing a set of yellowed teeth from a lifetime of smoking and liquor, a grey stubble around his chin and his breath hinted with tabacco and spirits. If it wasn’t for your anger you would have dropped him from disgust.

“I was wondering when you’d show up (y/n), where ever Levi goes you trail pathetically behind.” he sneered, your glare hardened as your hands gripped tighter on the collar of his trench coat lifting him higher off the ground “it’s good to see you’ve both made a life for yourselves in the Survey Corps, it’s made you a better fighter.”

“I should kill you.” you seethed, had you been talking to anyone else they would have coward at your terrifying tone and vicious expression, your position over the pathetic worm asserting dominance. But not with Kenny, even with your fist readied to pummel his face, even with your stance ready to fight, even with your experience in killing not only titans but people all he could do was laugh. An insane and chilling laugh that made you double take, your eyes widening his body shaking with each chuckle.

“You haven’t changed a bit have you sweetheart?” he mocked his pet name sending goosebumps over your body your silence amsusing him “always rushing into things without thinking them through, I had hoped I’d taught you better then that if not me then at least the Survey Corps. Levi isn’t here to save you from your mistakes now though is he? He’s cornered like the rat he is, you though...you’re no longer a street rat. You’ve become quite the vixen my darling.”

His cruel eyes trailed along every inch of your body, taking in your heaving chest and slim waist with nicely toned arms and legs, your (h/c) hair falling around your face in soft waves, your top buttons of your shirt undone from the previous struggle, revealing your collar bone and slight cleavage. You almost gagged as Kenny licked his lips his eyes sultry and glinting with slight admiration at your development over the years.

Gone was the scrawny and ill looking child he had once known, now stood beside him a strong and very attractive woman. He couldn’t deny you had filled out in certain areas very nicely, if he wasn’t in the middle of trying to battle his nephew he would have spent longer looking. You felt your heart hammering in your chest anxiety whispering in your ear at what his next actions would be. You knew his soldiers were pointing their pistols at your head, ready at any second to pull their triggers and launch lead into your flesh. You knew Kenny was the only thing that was preventing that from stopping, you hated to admit it but that bastard held all the power you really hadn’t thought this through.

He was right. It was just like when you were a kid, whenever Kenny sent you and Levi on a mission of some kind you were always the first to act on impulse, Levi had continued to save your ass every time you screwed up. You knew he couldn’t come out of the tavern without being killed himself unless you pulled a miracle out here, but you also knew that Levi would be formulating his own plan to get you out safely and himself.

“What are you doing here Kenny?” you hissed pointing your blade closer to his throat, the man smiled wickedly as his “friends” cocked their guns pointing them higher to your head from their distances. Your eyes watched them cautiously, you were heavily outnumbered it didn’t matter what you did, even with your advanced skill set it was impossible to escape by yourself.

Your eyes shifted to the right to look at the Military Police stood by the enterance to the tavern, you could see a small flash of light from the window, it happened so quickly that it couldn’t even have been there, but your expert eyes knew what that was. It was Levi, he was signalling you to stall Kenny, you had worked with your husband on the field for too long you knew all of his motivations through the smallest actions.

This proved one thing though: Levi had a plan.

“Good girl.” Kenny breathes as you retracted your blade, the metal weapons scraping against their holders as you backed away from Kenny letting him stand. You didn’t flinch as the man rose to tower above you, your expression bored as he leaned over you “don’t look like that (y/n), you look to much like Levi. That’s never a good thing.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” you replied placing a hand on your hip narrowing your eyes “what are you doing here?”

“Can’t an uncle drop in and say hi to his nephew?” he asked brightly throwing his ands out to the side, you arched an eyebrow trying to contain the growing anger, Levi needed you to stall him but you didn’t know how long you could go before you knocked one of Kenny’s teeth out.

“Sure, but I don’t think he wants to see you. You left him remember? You left both of us on our own in the underground.”

“And look how great you both turned out. One a Captain of the Survey Corps the other a member of said Captain’s squad. Really quite impressive.” Kenny chided.

“You left us to die Kenny.”

“No. No. No. I left you to thrive. You could both fight, you could both steal and take what you wanted. You didn’t need me anymore and I didn’t want you anymore. Besides, Levi’s raging hormones were beginning to get on my nerves. The little shit could barely compose himself around you.” he seemed amused at your refrained shock his lips twisting upward.

Obviously Levi had harboured feelings for you, you had the ring to prove it too. Your wedding had been a huge event in the gossip of the walls, every corner of Wall Rose and Sina had heard about your marriage to humanities strongest all those years ago.

Did Kenny know too? You wouldn’t put it past him. The man was resourceful, of course he was he had tutored you and Levi he had to have been to create such fine fighters. If Kenny knew would he use it against you or your husband? No. Kenny wasn’t here for you, you didn’t even think he was here for Levi, you knew he was here for Eren and Historia but why? What purpose where they to him? You figured it didn’t really matter so long as you stopped him. So you would play it like he didn’t know, you wouldn’t let him know if he didn’t.

“Did my runt of a nephew ever actually tell you about his feelings for you? He tried so hard to hide it but it was so painful to watch him rush in to save you whenever you needed it, or give you his rations and you didn’t even see the pedestal he put you on.” Kenny laughed and his men followed suit there mocks crawling up your spine, you felt your skin crawl trying not to be embarrassed. It was stupid to feel embarrassed by school yard taunts especially from Kenny, but it was getting to you.

“Are you done?” you sighed rolling your eyes, Kenny smirked and stepped forward until he was centimetres from you, he raised a dirty finger and ran it along your cheek you squirmed uncomfortably but stood your ground waiting for him to stop.

“Still have the usual sarcasm I see. Gotta say it’s a complete turn off but I suppose Levi would find that appealing.” he pulled his finger away and turned toward the tavern cupping his mouth his voice raising “Yo Levi! You mind sharing?”

From inside the tavern hidden under the bar Levi growled his fists clenching. Shit. He hadn’t meant it to go like this, you were supposed to be getting Eren and Historia back, Kenny wasn’t even meant to be here. But he would be lying if he said he didn’t expect you to come find him after the first gunshot, he would have done the same if the roles were reversed.

He was trying to think of a way out. The bar tender who stood shaking before him had a gun he could use, but it was a one pump shot gun and he would need one direct hit. How could he do that if Kenny was outside? He needed you to get Kenny inside the tavern, Kenny wouldn’t send someone else to kill his nephew the man was too prideful. He was just playing games with you but Levi knew Kenny wasn’t going to kill you so you were safe so far. He just needed to signal to you that he needed Kenny in the tavern to get a good hit. His eyes landed back on the mirror shard he had used to flash signals to you from the window, reaching up the the sunlight he began to move his hand the light bouncing through the window.

“Guess he doesn’t mind.” Kenny shrugged.

“I don’t need to take this from you.” you growled beginning to walk away, your blade cansiaters bumping against your leg as you moved, your hands clenched into tight fists as you turned your back on the man, you were halted in your tracks as one of Kenny’s men pressed a gun to the side of your head causing you to freeze as you held your hands up in a surrender position. It was in that moment you noticed the glint coming back from the window it’s flashes resembling morse code that you and Levi had taught each other, you knew what he needed you to do but you weren’t sure how.

If you played along it should be ok. Right? Kenny was unpredictable, you knew that trying to guess what he would do next would be pointless.

“What is that on your finger pretty girl?” Kenny asked his eyes lighting up at the gold band that rested on your left ring finger, the sun causing it to light up now it was out in the open. Kenny for the first time you had known him seemed genuinely surprised, his mouth twitching and his breath hitching in his throat ever slightly. “So who’s the lucky guy?”

“You’re smart figure it out.” you snapped at him, Kenny gestured for the gun be lowered, you sharply elbow the man who held the gun to your head in the ribs and fold your arms hiding the ring from view.

“Don’t tell me...don’t tell me...” Kenny cracked into a huge grin a condescending laugh ripping from his lips “looks like Levi did actually grow some after all. When was the wedding?”

“Three years ago.”

“Wow, time does fly doesn’t it? Welcome to the family I suppose. Is he any good? Can’t imagine a runt that small being much satisfaction to a girl like yourself.” Kenny bullied licking his chapped lips causing your eye to twitch in disgust. He was only doing it to get on yours and Levi’s nerves but tjebirge to punch someone has never been greater.

“Believe me Kenny, he does the job.” you growl feeling your patience begin to wear thin.

“Well this calls for a celebration drink doesn’t it?” Kenny cried out sliding to your side and wrapping a long arm around your shoulders squeezing you into his side and practically dragging you up the steps of the tavern “I was just going inside anyways to take care of a rodent infestation. You guys stay out here, we won’t be long.”

You didn’t protest as Kenny kicked open the swinging doors to the tavern, his heavy boots thudding against the wooden floors all eyes on the two of you as you were pressed harder into his side. Your eyes scanned the area looking for your lover trying to workout what he had in mind, you knew that whatever it was you needed to get away from Kenny before it happened.

From under the bar Levi felt his heart stop slightly at the sight of his uncle’s reflection in the bottles that lined the shelves of the bar. He could clearly make out you being squeezed into his side and he felt a jolt of anger ripple through him at the thought of Kenny having his arm around you. It was death penalty alone to touch a Captain of the Survey Corps spouse in an aggressive hold, but to touch Levi’s spouse in anyway he deemed a threat was rewarded with more then death. There was nothing much he could do though in his situation, Levi quietly cocked the gun that he clutched to his chest waiting patiently for his next move.

“Yo Levi!” Kenny yelled causing you to wince at his volume “how come I wasn’t invited to the wedding? Hurt my feelings ya know.”

At no reply you heard Kenny growl to himself before he let you drop to the floor, you landed groaning in slight pain as your body hit the hard floor, you froze when you felt one of Kenny’s pistols be placed against your temple. When did you become such a damsel? Oh right when you impulsively came over to save your husband. You would never learn. You couldn’t do anything without being shot, you have to wait for Levi to whoop ass.

“It’s ok, I’ve forgiven the both of you.” Kenny said dryly clicking the pistol pressing it deeper into your temple his finger twitching on the trigger, Levi felt his heart begin to squirm in his chest anger crippling his thoughts, his eye brow twitched with pent up hostility as he watched the reflection of his beloved wife at the feet of his cynical uncle with his gun pressed to her head “maybe I’ll visit for the baby shower, you don’t mind do you sweetheart.”

Levi’s breath hitches in his throat as he watched Kenny lean down to whisper the last part into your ear, you visually shuddered and as much as Levi wanted to act now he needed Kenny to be standing and closer in range. The captain was poised waiting under the bar to use the gun the second it was appropriate, the bar tender still shaking violently in fear. His steely eyes never leaving the bottle that reflected what was happening behind him, he watched as Kenny stood up straight and began to move forward his gun still aimed at you.

“Come on Levi I won’t hurt you. Just a family reunion.” Kenny cackled.

“Hey Kenny...” Levi drawled, his uncle froze his eyes widening at the sound of his nephews voice “don’t touch my wife again.”

Before Kenny could comprehend what was going to happen Levi reaches his arms over the top of his head slamming the gun against the bar his eyes trained on the figure in the bottle and pulled the trigger. The gun spat out a bullet, the impact sending Kenny flying backwards out through the doors into the street, thinking quickly you sprung to your feet and grabbed a bar stool as Levi hopped over the bar too grabbing his own bar stool before you both threw them out the windows, glass shattering everywhere followed by more gunshots as Kenny’s military police began to fire at the inanimate objects.

You and Levi both waited your backs pressed against each other , his foot tapping the floor to signal what he wanted you to do and you nodded . Finally the last of the gun shots calmed down and your hands flittered over your ODM grapples getting ready to carry through the plan.

“What? Is that a chair?”

“They both are!”

At that moment you launched your grappling hooks flying through the window, Levi crashing through the opposite one, both your grappling hooks flying through the body of the enemy as you were pulled onto the roof your blades quickly cutting down the enemies their blood filling the air, their panicked cries ripping through your ears as you were propelled over the roof, Levi mimicking your actions as you were launched into the sky letting your grapples detach.

You were flying it seemed, the world below you like a model town before gravity pulled you back towards the ground, the wind howling your blades readied to strike at the military police members who were also airborne. Gritting your teeth you spun trough the air, your blades slicing the flesh of your enemies their bodies falling limp the ground, scarlet blood stained your face and clothing as you landed sharply on a roof the bodies lauded out around you. Levi landed beside you, his eyes not giving away whatever thoughts were churning in his mind, he looked up to you his brow furrowed slightly.

“Where are the others?”

“Getting Eren and Historia back, should be east from here.” you replied wiping your sticky blade handles on your cloak, Levi nodded his gaze shifting to Kenny who lay unconscious on the floor.

“Levi?” you asked staring at your husband with slight worry, Levi didn’t want Kenny dead. He couldn’t ever really want the man who had taught him to survive be killed, but you knew your husband didn’t forgive him for leaving him on the streets with you by yourselves. You didn’t know what to expect from your beloved at this point, would he kill Kenny? Or leave him be? It wasn’t like he had the luxury of time to decide, you would make the choice for him.

You slowly walked over to where your husband stood, his steely gaze still trained on the man on the ground. Gently you raised a hand tugging on his arm, he flicked slightly and looked over to you, his jaw unclenching and his body relaxed.

“Come on, we have bigger issues.” you soothed, he nodded ripping his gaze from his uncle and and turning to walk off the rooftop with you, you shot him a small smile and readied your gear to fly towards where the others needed your assistance. However just as your grapples were about to be released you felt a firm grasp on your arm, before you could work out what was happening Levi had spun your round into his arms your lips locking with his own, his strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he pulled you into him, his lips gently pushing against yours as his tongue roamed your mouth, his fingers grasping your white shirt tightly as your hands pressed into his firm pectorals. The kiss was gentle and loving, you could almost taste the relief he felt that you were ok and that Kenny hadn’t harmed you. Your legs grew slightly weak as he deepened the kiss, your hands looping around his neck to pull on his raven hair, pushing your bodies closer together.

You gently pulled away his hands still gripping your shirt, and strong arms around you in a protective grip. He rested his forehead against your own, blood from your skin staining his, but he isn’t seem to mind. It seemed like forever had passed before he broke away, launching his grapples into a nearby building and disappeared round a corner. You stood there on the roof still in slight shock at your husbands actions, you figured he must have been worried if he was open to kiss you like that in such a time consumed mission. But you didn’t have time to worry about now, sighing you unleashed your grapples, the wires hissing as they clamped onto a building your harness pulling against your body as you were whisked into the air.

Down on the ground Kenny peeler his eyes opens catching a glimpse of your retreating figure a smirk on his face, his hand reaching up to flock his hat further up his head.

“Well done Levi. You might not be such a disappointment after all.”

...

Ugh I kind of hate it but if you enjoyed it then thanks. Thank you again to my new followers I really appreciate it. If you enjoyed this and want to see more crappy things like this then follow and like, if not I get it it’s all chill. Enjoy your day.

Buy me a coffee?

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xiaotopia

4 years ago

Is it still available 👀

hey yall i have another account to give away its at AR 5 with diluc

dm me lol its free

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xiaotopia

2 years ago

a heart of a jack of clubs

(7,4k words. angst through and through, somehow ambigious ending. slowburn. so slow, it takes them quarter of a century to fuck.)

when you’re almost 8 months pregnant, you meet scaramouche.

it’s pretty awkward, actually - you sit under a tree in a chinju forest, trying to breathe, but you do a pretty bad job at that. everything hurts so much, you hoped no one would hear your crying, but gods like to laugh at you. you close your eyes from time to time, hoping you would never open them again. you never knew that giving birth is such a challenge, you only heard of it, and you thought you’ve prepared yourself. but it was supposed to be a month more untill you meet your child. and now, well, yeah. nothing is ever right in your life.

when you open your eyes again, after getting so tired of screaming and maybe losing your consciousness for a minute, there’s three of them right in front of you: a little girl with soft white hair in a pretty green dress, touching your forehead. a man with a stark red strand in his light grey hair, his gaze is so worried and pained. the third man stays behind those two, and you can’t even comprehend how he looks like.

“i think she’s dying” girls says a little too brightly. the man with white hair looks a little bit bewildered.

“don’t say it like that!”

“does it matter?” the third man says. “open your eyes, kaedehara. she is dying.”

“still, you can hurt her with this even more” the kind man sits in front of you - his touch is blessedly chill against your feverish skin. “lady, can you hear me? can you understand what i say to you?”

you can only blink slowly in response. because of the pain you can’t really scream anymore, but tears start streaming down your face once again. you want to ask them to kill you, because you’ve suffered for god knows how many hours by now. maybe you even do ask them, considering that the girl now frowns, the kind man tries to wipe your tears away and even the third man stiffens because of your cries.

“i am no expert, but i think it’s a preterm birth.” girl says, her tone really sad now “she really might die. we need to move her in some more of a clean space, quickly.”

“we can’t really move her, you know?” girl turns her head and you guess her gaze makes the third man sigh loudly. “okay, okay, don’t look at me like that” you hear his steps and he finally bends in front of you. you can’t really see his face because of how ridiculously big his hat is, but his voice is much softer now when he speaks to you directly “hold on my shoulders, lady, we’re gonna take a quick ride.”

you do as he says, feeling another wave of terrible pain shuttering your body. almost laying on his chest, yet you hear no heartbeat. his skin velvety and cool under your fingertips, when he easily lifts you from the ground, and from now on you don’t remember anything.

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xiaotopia

4 years ago