Hi I Need New Friends Here And It's My First Time On Tumblr 👉👈

okay so i’ve seen a lot of people on here talking about NSFR meaning “not safe for ramadan” and a lot of the times they mentioned putting food/drink/music posts under that tag, which i know it’s to help us muslims but in all honesty that defeats the purpose of ramadan.

if you don’t know what ramadan is, it’s basically a holiday for muslims where we fast from sunrise to sunset, no food or drink at all. and the purpose of this is to resist desire and put yourself in the shoes of the less fortunate. the entire point of ramadan is having self discipline and fighting the urge yourself and not being tempted by a picture of food or drink etc.

keep in mind we cook/go shopping for food throughout the day so we are still surrounded by it, there is no need for you to tag it specifically for muslims. if you tag food/drink for other reason that is your business of course.

+ i’m sure nsfr was not started by a muslim person and while it is nice and lots of muslims are thankful most of us just don’t see the point because it’s on us to resist/not listen to audible music and stay away from cursing and anything nsfw. by all means you can still use it i suppose but for the most part it’s kinda useless to us. but i do encourage everyone to have appropriate tags for their nsfw obviously! but for the most part “nsfr” is pushing miss information to non muslims and it’s not really being an ally while you’re intentions are good!

if you really would want to help muslims in ramadan please educate yourself and raise awareness about what’s currently happening in france! thank you!

links:

twitter thread about nsfr & tagging food/drink

twitter thread about what’s happening in france

hijab ban petition

[ reblogs are okay! + if you would like to wish muslims a happy ramadan we say Ramadan Mubarak :) ]

❗AVOID THESE PEDOPHILES AT ALL COSTS! ❗

I was scrolling through Tumblr and came across a post of KNOWN PEDOPHILES ON TUMBLR (many of which have or want to rape actual children/minors)

THERE ARE ACTUAL PEDOPHILES ON TUMBLR TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH MINORS ON TUMBLR

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THIS LIST AND KEEP OUR MINORS SAFE

childe but with precious playing at the back

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Levi x Reader

I’ve been brainstorming this for a while now so here ya go.

Summary: During Levi’s first battle with Kenny you come to his rescue only for Kenny to discover that you and his nephew have been married for quite some time

Disclaimer: I don’t own Attack on Titan or any of its characters no matter how much I wish I did, I also don’t own you which is a shame because if you’re reading this we clearly have the same interests and could be friends. I don’t own the GiFs below either I couldn’t choose which one so ya got both. Enjoy

Warnings: swearing, violence, sexual references, Levi being an amazing husband

Levi x Reader

You had heard the gunshots before anyone else had. They had echoed through the inner city of Wall Rose causing screams to rip through the air as the people below you ran in the opposite direction, their panicked yells ringing through your ears. You yourself had been flying through the Trosh District, your ODM gear whizzing as it grappled you from building to building, the wind clawing at your skin and blowing through your (y/h/c) hair, your eyes watering slightly at the sharp gails. Your brown cape flying behind you, you had been trying to locate the wagon in which Eren and Historia had been taken in.

You had to contain your exasperation, Eren was always getting kidnapped or injured it ran your husband ragged trying to protect that boy. Now the scouts were on the run from the law since Erwin was framed and it wasn’t easy tying to look after a group of inexperienced and immature scout children.

You and Levi had contemplated having children yourselves before the drama had begun and before you were wanted by the military police, but after trying to look after the ones in the Survey Corps it was beginning to dawn on you that maybe you wouldn’t mind waiting a little while longer.

More gunshots echoed catching you off guard, so much so that you had jumped violently in your line of trajectory, gritting your teeth you strained your body to pull yourself up and away from the streets below, the leather straps pulling against your slim body as you swung, trying to pull yourself upwards to avoid becoming flattened into the side of a house or the street below. Your muscles were aching from having to manuvor through the buildings, your heart hammering against your chest at your efforts to try and fend off the military police, they had new gear and new moves. You didn’t know who had taught it to them but the technique seemed familiar, it was unpredictable too messy for the usual standards of their combat.

You landed grunting slightly, on top of a roof, your eyes scanning the sea of houses trying to find out where the gunshots were coming from, you could make out a trail of grey smoke coming from the other side of the district. You would bet every last penny you owned that that was were Levi was, he was always right in the grip of danger he just seemed to be a magnet for it. You heard more people land around and for a split second thought they were members of the military police, you whipped around grabbing your blades pointing them at the throat of the nearest presumed enemy, only to freeze at the sight of Jean, holding his hands up in surrender quivering slightly.

“Easy (y/n) it’s just us.” Jean stammered, you glanced around to see Mikasa, Armin, Sasha and Conny surrounding you. Relaxing you sheathed your blade and backed away from the Jean the boy stumbling away sighing in relief.

“Do you know what happened to Eren and Historia?” you asked turning to Mikasa, the girl glanced up at you blood smeared on her face.

“Yes ma’am their heading towards the gates, we were on our way over.” she replied the others nodding. You sighed glancing back over to where the smoke was still climbing into the sky, explosions and gun shots still ringing through the city, you clenched your jaw.

You could go with the children and save Eren and Historia or you could let them go alone and go aid Levi with the military police. The answer seemed very obvious but if you let the kids go alone they could end up losing Eren and Historia and everything your fallen soldiers had fought for could be in jeaprody.

Too many lives had been claimed at the expense of Eren, not that it was the boy’s fault of course. You could still see the panicked looks of your squad as they were taken out by the female Titan only escaping death yourself as you husband swung in just as the female titan’s hand was about to swat you. You would never forgive yourself if your comrades had died in vein.

You chewed on your lip, the pressure of time clawing through your mind.

“Did you hear those gun shots?” Sasha asked the others nodding interrupting your thoughts.

“There was a man there, I saw him as I was going by.” Conny added, you perked up at the boys words turning your head slightly to hear him better.

“A man?” you questioned.

“Yeah” Connie replied “tall skinny, old looking wore a big black hat, draped in a black trench coat, quite scary.”

You froze, your heart stopped beating for a second as cold wave of dread washed over you. You knew the military police’s new fighting movements seemed painfully familiar, you knew they had a new commander but you wouldn’t have thought it was him of all people, the man you and your husband had resented together. If Kenny Ackerman was the one incharge of the military police then the situation was worse then you had thought it to be.

“Mikasa, Jean, Armin I want you to chase down that wagon, get Eren and Historia back kill anyone who crosses you. Sasha and Conny keep the skies clear make a path for them.” you commanded launching your grappling hooks onto the building your ODM straps pulling your body off the roof top, as your feet were about to leave the surface a hand grasped your shoulder holding you in place.

“Ma’am you want us to kill people? That’s not right!” Sasha cries out Armin nodding behind her “our enemies are titans.”

“Kid, I know it’s confusing but this isn’t the same world you were trained in. Things have changed, we don’t have time to be ethical we need to be direct and do whatever it takes to get those two back.” you growled, the conflict was evident in their eyes their own morals being strained by their orders. You knew they would do what was right and listen to you, but you understood their conflict but they all nodded hesitantly.

“Where are you going?” Armin asked quietly, you sighed looking out at the city where the destruction was coming from.

“I’m going to see an old friend. Now get moving!” you yelled before shrugging Sasha off your shoulder launching off into the sky not even bothering to look back at the teens as you flipped over the roof tops.

You could feel a growing anger inside you as you weaved through the streets, the gas hissing from your gear launching you higher and faster through the air, desperate to reach your husband and his uncle. You hated Kenny as much as Levi, the sick bastard leaving you and Levi to fend for yourself in the underground at a young age.

You yourself had been orphaned at a young age much like Levi, he and his uncle had stumbled across you trying to steal from them, what you were stealing you couldn’t remember but knowinf tje cruelty of the underground it could have been anything that meant survival. Instead of killing you, Kenny decided you would be of use to him, he taught you to use the ODM gear stolen from the military police members he had cut down, taught you how to fight and barter. How to say hello with a knife.

After time you and Levi had grown closer, nights spent huddled together for warmth and teaching each other new tricks with various weapons, even Kenny at some points had shown a rare and minor maternal side, it had felt like a small dysfunctional family. Maybe that’s what caused Kenny to turn his back on you, maybe it was all becoming to real for him.

On that day he had decided he’d had enough of playing ‘dad’, that greasy and disgusting man had tried to grab you on the street of the underground, Levi had jumped on him quick to rush to your aid and protect you like he always had. It was only after the beat down the two of you noticed that Kenny had gone, slipped out between the crowd and never seen again.

Of course after it had sunk in you and Levi had carried on with life, you had to. But Kenny’s abandonment had cut a hole deep in both you and Levi, one that had never fully healed. He was the only relative Levi knew he had, he was the only parental figure you had known, no matter how much of an alcoholic he was. So to have him here now of all places, you knew Levi would kill him if Kenny didn’t kill his nephew first. You were not willing to see that happen.

As you continued to navigate your way through the air you heard the familiar sound of ODM gear behind you, you already knew it wasn’t the Scouts. You launched yourself into higher abobe tje houses managing to execute a tight flip, as you spun round you managed to catch a glimpse of who was chasing you. Three members of the military police were hot on your trail, pistols in their hands where their blades should be.

Growling to yourself, you landed on a roof top making a mad dash across it your body screaming at you to run faster the air tight in your lungs. You heard one of them yell their bullets whizzing through the air. You grasped your cloak and threw it towards where the bullets were coming from, the shrapnel getting caught in the thick brown fabric acting as a shield.

You tossed it to the side and tumbled behind a chimney, the stone protecting you as you waited for them to have to reload. You slowed your breathing wincing as more of the bullets dented the stone, tensing your muscles waiting for the onslaught to stop you would be ready. As soon as the bullets stopped and you heard the clicking of bullets being changed you launched yourself from over the chimney, grabbing your swords and launching them at two of the military police members their blood filling the air flying onto your face, their eyes wide as your silver blades ripped through their flesh.

Launching your grappling hooks from your gear, the spiked latches flying through the final enemies head, a small hole being pierced through her skull, her brain making a cringe worthy squelch as the hooks propelled through her forehead and out the other side, her body spasmed violently before dropping to the floor. You were still in the air briefly landing on the roof grabbing your blades back and retracting your grapple from the woman’s head, her body lurching at the movement as you took off back into the sky, the bodies behind you sliding off the roof into the street below.

You released a grunt as you pulled yourself round the streets taking a final corner, the scene below you causing you to shudder, your brain almost stopped working at the sight before you.

About twenty military police members stood around what appeared to be a tavern, their guns all pointed at the windows and doors where you assumed Levi was hiding, fear hitting you like a lightning bolt at the thought of him cornered like an animal. But that wasn’t the only thing that made you panic, infront of the doors stood Kenny, his signature black hat resting on his head, his heavy boots making him stand at an intimidating height, lanky locks of greasy brown hair sticking out from under the signature hat. You could see his mouth moving and you knew he would be taunting Levi, it’s what he did best.

You grappled one last hook into a nearby house flying through the air drawing your blades holding them high above your head, years of pain and hurt bubbling inside of you finally having clawed it’s way from the depths of your sea of emotions. You knew you weren’t thinking properly otherwise you would have been much more strategic, years of training in the corps, years of experience with Titans had gone out the window. Kenny was no Titan. He was worse.

“KENNY!” you screamed, all eyes turning to you, Kenny’s expression shifting from one of mocking to one of surprise and unexpected shock. You careened toward him, not even caring what happened next as you swung your blades down hoping to land a blow to your uncle in law, a loud clank of metal could be heard as your blades clashed with his arm, he must have been wearing armour underneath the coat.

Damn. You thought to yourself, your arms shaking as you tried to push against him, his face twisting into a grim smirk. Your legs trembling at the amount of force he was pushing against you, you grit your teeth glancing at the cobbled floor your feet were sliding against. You glared definitely into his cold eyes, you weren’t going to lose. You were not as strong as Kenny, of course you weren’t, but you were smarter and quicker.

As he continued to push against you, you continued to glare at him giving a cocky smirk, his eyes widened before you dropped your weapons and ducked under his long legs causing him to stumble forward all his weight used to push against you sending him flying forward, you pressed a leg into his back causing his fall to be inevitable, his face crunching against the floor.

You held a blade to his neck from his position on the floor, his face hidden by the rim of his hat, but you could make out a sneer on his gaunt face. Your eyebrows knitted together, a low growl escaping your lips as you lean down to pick him up by the collar of his shirt a sudden surge of strength raging through you.

His face had aged, smooth creases sketched into his pale skin, his dark eyes still icy and uncaring, his face still pinched and thin from years of living in the underground. Kenny has been an admittedly handsome man in his youth, it could even be argued he was still rather attractive by older women, but to you he was the slime ball who had left two children to die.

He hadn’t seemed to change much personality wise though, his face twisted into an arrogant smirk flashing a set of yellowed teeth from a lifetime of smoking and liquor, a grey stubble around his chin and his breath hinted with tabacco and spirits. If it wasn’t for your anger you would have dropped him from disgust.

“I was wondering when you’d show up (y/n), where ever Levi goes you trail pathetically behind.” he sneered, your glare hardened as your hands gripped tighter on the collar of his trench coat lifting him higher off the ground “it’s good to see you’ve both made a life for yourselves in the Survey Corps, it’s made you a better fighter.”

“I should kill you.” you seethed, had you been talking to anyone else they would have coward at your terrifying tone and vicious expression, your position over the pathetic worm asserting dominance. But not with Kenny, even with your fist readied to pummel his face, even with your stance ready to fight, even with your experience in killing not only titans but people all he could do was laugh. An insane and chilling laugh that made you double take, your eyes widening his body shaking with each chuckle.

“You haven’t changed a bit have you sweetheart?” he mocked his pet name sending goosebumps over your body your silence amsusing him “always rushing into things without thinking them through, I had hoped I’d taught you better then that if not me then at least the Survey Corps. Levi isn’t here to save you from your mistakes now though is he? He’s cornered like the rat he is, you though...you’re no longer a street rat. You’ve become quite the vixen my darling.”

His cruel eyes trailed along every inch of your body, taking in your heaving chest and slim waist with nicely toned arms and legs, your (h/c) hair falling around your face in soft waves, your top buttons of your shirt undone from the previous struggle, revealing your collar bone and slight cleavage. You almost gagged as Kenny licked his lips his eyes sultry and glinting with slight admiration at your development over the years.

Gone was the scrawny and ill looking child he had once known, now stood beside him a strong and very attractive woman. He couldn’t deny you had filled out in certain areas very nicely, if he wasn’t in the middle of trying to battle his nephew he would have spent longer looking. You felt your heart hammering in your chest anxiety whispering in your ear at what his next actions would be. You knew his soldiers were pointing their pistols at your head, ready at any second to pull their triggers and launch lead into your flesh. You knew Kenny was the only thing that was preventing that from stopping, you hated to admit it but that bastard held all the power you really hadn’t thought this through.

He was right. It was just like when you were a kid, whenever Kenny sent you and Levi on a mission of some kind you were always the first to act on impulse, Levi had continued to save your ass every time you screwed up. You knew he couldn’t come out of the tavern without being killed himself unless you pulled a miracle out here, but you also knew that Levi would be formulating his own plan to get you out safely and himself.

“What are you doing here Kenny?” you hissed pointing your blade closer to his throat, the man smiled wickedly as his “friends” cocked their guns pointing them higher to your head from their distances. Your eyes watched them cautiously, you were heavily outnumbered it didn’t matter what you did, even with your advanced skill set it was impossible to escape by yourself.

Your eyes shifted to the right to look at the Military Police stood by the enterance to the tavern, you could see a small flash of light from the window, it happened so quickly that it couldn’t even have been there, but your expert eyes knew what that was. It was Levi, he was signalling you to stall Kenny, you had worked with your husband on the field for too long you knew all of his motivations through the smallest actions.

This proved one thing though: Levi had a plan.

“Good girl.” Kenny breathes as you retracted your blade, the metal weapons scraping against their holders as you backed away from Kenny letting him stand. You didn’t flinch as the man rose to tower above you, your expression bored as he leaned over you “don’t look like that (y/n), you look to much like Levi. That’s never a good thing.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” you replied placing a hand on your hip narrowing your eyes “what are you doing here?”

“Can’t an uncle drop in and say hi to his nephew?” he asked brightly throwing his ands out to the side, you arched an eyebrow trying to contain the growing anger, Levi needed you to stall him but you didn’t know how long you could go before you knocked one of Kenny’s teeth out.

“Sure, but I don’t think he wants to see you. You left him remember? You left both of us on our own in the underground.”

“And look how great you both turned out. One a Captain of the Survey Corps the other a member of said Captain’s squad. Really quite impressive.” Kenny chided.

“You left us to die Kenny.”

“No. No. No. I left you to thrive. You could both fight, you could both steal and take what you wanted. You didn’t need me anymore and I didn’t want you anymore. Besides, Levi’s raging hormones were beginning to get on my nerves. The little shit could barely compose himself around you.” he seemed amused at your refrained shock his lips twisting upward.

Obviously Levi had harboured feelings for you, you had the ring to prove it too. Your wedding had been a huge event in the gossip of the walls, every corner of Wall Rose and Sina had heard about your marriage to humanities strongest all those years ago.

Did Kenny know too? You wouldn’t put it past him. The man was resourceful, of course he was he had tutored you and Levi he had to have been to create such fine fighters. If Kenny knew would he use it against you or your husband? No. Kenny wasn’t here for you, you didn’t even think he was here for Levi, you knew he was here for Eren and Historia but why? What purpose where they to him? You figured it didn’t really matter so long as you stopped him. So you would play it like he didn’t know, you wouldn’t let him know if he didn’t.

“Did my runt of a nephew ever actually tell you about his feelings for you? He tried so hard to hide it but it was so painful to watch him rush in to save you whenever you needed it, or give you his rations and you didn’t even see the pedestal he put you on.” Kenny laughed and his men followed suit there mocks crawling up your spine, you felt your skin crawl trying not to be embarrassed. It was stupid to feel embarrassed by school yard taunts especially from Kenny, but it was getting to you.

“Are you done?” you sighed rolling your eyes, Kenny smirked and stepped forward until he was centimetres from you, he raised a dirty finger and ran it along your cheek you squirmed uncomfortably but stood your ground waiting for him to stop.

“Still have the usual sarcasm I see. Gotta say it’s a complete turn off but I suppose Levi would find that appealing.” he pulled his finger away and turned toward the tavern cupping his mouth his voice raising “Yo Levi! You mind sharing?”

From inside the tavern hidden under the bar Levi growled his fists clenching. Shit. He hadn’t meant it to go like this, you were supposed to be getting Eren and Historia back, Kenny wasn’t even meant to be here. But he would be lying if he said he didn’t expect you to come find him after the first gunshot, he would have done the same if the roles were reversed.

He was trying to think of a way out. The bar tender who stood shaking before him had a gun he could use, but it was a one pump shot gun and he would need one direct hit. How could he do that if Kenny was outside? He needed you to get Kenny inside the tavern, Kenny wouldn’t send someone else to kill his nephew the man was too prideful. He was just playing games with you but Levi knew Kenny wasn’t going to kill you so you were safe so far. He just needed to signal to you that he needed Kenny in the tavern to get a good hit. His eyes landed back on the mirror shard he had used to flash signals to you from the window, reaching up the the sunlight he began to move his hand the light bouncing through the window.

“Guess he doesn’t mind.” Kenny shrugged.

“I don’t need to take this from you.” you growled beginning to walk away, your blade cansiaters bumping against your leg as you moved, your hands clenched into tight fists as you turned your back on the man, you were halted in your tracks as one of Kenny’s men pressed a gun to the side of your head causing you to freeze as you held your hands up in a surrender position. It was in that moment you noticed the glint coming back from the window it’s flashes resembling morse code that you and Levi had taught each other, you knew what he needed you to do but you weren’t sure how.

If you played along it should be ok. Right? Kenny was unpredictable, you knew that trying to guess what he would do next would be pointless.

“What is that on your finger pretty girl?” Kenny asked his eyes lighting up at the gold band that rested on your left ring finger, the sun causing it to light up now it was out in the open. Kenny for the first time you had known him seemed genuinely surprised, his mouth twitching and his breath hitching in his throat ever slightly. “So who’s the lucky guy?”

“You’re smart figure it out.” you snapped at him, Kenny gestured for the gun be lowered, you sharply elbow the man who held the gun to your head in the ribs and fold your arms hiding the ring from view.

“Don’t tell me...don’t tell me...” Kenny cracked into a huge grin a condescending laugh ripping from his lips “looks like Levi did actually grow some after all. When was the wedding?”

“Three years ago.”

“Wow, time does fly doesn’t it? Welcome to the family I suppose. Is he any good? Can’t imagine a runt that small being much satisfaction to a girl like yourself.” Kenny bullied licking his chapped lips causing your eye to twitch in disgust. He was only doing it to get on yours and Levi’s nerves but tjebirge to punch someone has never been greater.

“Believe me Kenny, he does the job.” you growl feeling your patience begin to wear thin.

“Well this calls for a celebration drink doesn’t it?” Kenny cried out sliding to your side and wrapping a long arm around your shoulders squeezing you into his side and practically dragging you up the steps of the tavern “I was just going inside anyways to take care of a rodent infestation. You guys stay out here, we won’t be long.”

You didn’t protest as Kenny kicked open the swinging doors to the tavern, his heavy boots thudding against the wooden floors all eyes on the two of you as you were pressed harder into his side. Your eyes scanned the area looking for your lover trying to workout what he had in mind, you knew that whatever it was you needed to get away from Kenny before it happened.

From under the bar Levi felt his heart stop slightly at the sight of his uncle’s reflection in the bottles that lined the shelves of the bar. He could clearly make out you being squeezed into his side and he felt a jolt of anger ripple through him at the thought of Kenny having his arm around you. It was death penalty alone to touch a Captain of the Survey Corps spouse in an aggressive hold, but to touch Levi’s spouse in anyway he deemed a threat was rewarded with more then death. There was nothing much he could do though in his situation, Levi quietly cocked the gun that he clutched to his chest waiting patiently for his next move.

“Yo Levi!” Kenny yelled causing you to wince at his volume “how come I wasn’t invited to the wedding? Hurt my feelings ya know.”

At no reply you heard Kenny growl to himself before he let you drop to the floor, you landed groaning in slight pain as your body hit the hard floor, you froze when you felt one of Kenny’s pistols be placed against your temple. When did you become such a damsel? Oh right when you impulsively came over to save your husband. You would never learn. You couldn’t do anything without being shot, you have to wait for Levi to whoop ass.

“It’s ok, I’ve forgiven the both of you.” Kenny said dryly clicking the pistol pressing it deeper into your temple his finger twitching on the trigger, Levi felt his heart begin to squirm in his chest anger crippling his thoughts, his eye brow twitched with pent up hostility as he watched the reflection of his beloved wife at the feet of his cynical uncle with his gun pressed to her head “maybe I’ll visit for the baby shower, you don’t mind do you sweetheart.”

Levi’s breath hitches in his throat as he watched Kenny lean down to whisper the last part into your ear, you visually shuddered and as much as Levi wanted to act now he needed Kenny to be standing and closer in range. The captain was poised waiting under the bar to use the gun the second it was appropriate, the bar tender still shaking violently in fear. His steely eyes never leaving the bottle that reflected what was happening behind him, he watched as Kenny stood up straight and began to move forward his gun still aimed at you.

“Come on Levi I won’t hurt you. Just a family reunion.” Kenny cackled.

“Hey Kenny...” Levi drawled, his uncle froze his eyes widening at the sound of his nephews voice “don’t touch my wife again.”

Before Kenny could comprehend what was going to happen Levi reaches his arms over the top of his head slamming the gun against the bar his eyes trained on the figure in the bottle and pulled the trigger. The gun spat out a bullet, the impact sending Kenny flying backwards out through the doors into the street, thinking quickly you sprung to your feet and grabbed a bar stool as Levi hopped over the bar too grabbing his own bar stool before you both threw them out the windows, glass shattering everywhere followed by more gunshots as Kenny’s military police began to fire at the inanimate objects.

You and Levi both waited your backs pressed against each other , his foot tapping the floor to signal what he wanted you to do and you nodded . Finally the last of the gun shots calmed down and your hands flittered over your ODM grapples getting ready to carry through the plan.

“What? Is that a chair?”

“They both are!”

At that moment you launched your grappling hooks flying through the window, Levi crashing through the opposite one, both your grappling hooks flying through the body of the enemy as you were pulled onto the roof your blades quickly cutting down the enemies their blood filling the air, their panicked cries ripping through your ears as you were propelled over the roof, Levi mimicking your actions as you were launched into the sky letting your grapples detach.

You were flying it seemed, the world below you like a model town before gravity pulled you back towards the ground, the wind howling your blades readied to strike at the military police members who were also airborne. Gritting your teeth you spun trough the air, your blades slicing the flesh of your enemies their bodies falling limp the ground, scarlet blood stained your face and clothing as you landed sharply on a roof the bodies lauded out around you. Levi landed beside you, his eyes not giving away whatever thoughts were churning in his mind, he looked up to you his brow furrowed slightly.

“Where are the others?”

“Getting Eren and Historia back, should be east from here.” you replied wiping your sticky blade handles on your cloak, Levi nodded his gaze shifting to Kenny who lay unconscious on the floor.

“Levi?” you asked staring at your husband with slight worry, Levi didn’t want Kenny dead. He couldn’t ever really want the man who had taught him to survive be killed, but you knew your husband didn’t forgive him for leaving him on the streets with you by yourselves. You didn’t know what to expect from your beloved at this point, would he kill Kenny? Or leave him be? It wasn’t like he had the luxury of time to decide, you would make the choice for him.

You slowly walked over to where your husband stood, his steely gaze still trained on the man on the ground. Gently you raised a hand tugging on his arm, he flicked slightly and looked over to you, his jaw unclenching and his body relaxed.

“Come on, we have bigger issues.” you soothed, he nodded ripping his gaze from his uncle and and turning to walk off the rooftop with you, you shot him a small smile and readied your gear to fly towards where the others needed your assistance. However just as your grapples were about to be released you felt a firm grasp on your arm, before you could work out what was happening Levi had spun your round into his arms your lips locking with his own, his strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he pulled you into him, his lips gently pushing against yours as his tongue roamed your mouth, his fingers grasping your white shirt tightly as your hands pressed into his firm pectorals. The kiss was gentle and loving, you could almost taste the relief he felt that you were ok and that Kenny hadn’t harmed you. Your legs grew slightly weak as he deepened the kiss, your hands looping around his neck to pull on his raven hair, pushing your bodies closer together.

You gently pulled away his hands still gripping your shirt, and strong arms around you in a protective grip. He rested his forehead against your own, blood from your skin staining his, but he isn’t seem to mind. It seemed like forever had passed before he broke away, launching his grapples into a nearby building and disappeared round a corner. You stood there on the roof still in slight shock at your husbands actions, you figured he must have been worried if he was open to kiss you like that in such a time consumed mission. But you didn’t have time to worry about now, sighing you unleashed your grapples, the wires hissing as they clamped onto a building your harness pulling against your body as you were whisked into the air.

Down on the ground Kenny peeler his eyes opens catching a glimpse of your retreating figure a smirk on his face, his hand reaching up to flock his hat further up his head.

“Well done Levi. You might not be such a disappointment after all.”

...

Ugh I kind of hate it but if you enjoyed it then thanks. Thank you again to my new followers I really appreciate it. If you enjoyed this and want to see more crappy things like this then follow and like, if not I get it it’s all chill. Enjoy your day.

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#BFE2FD ┈ scaramouche (wanderer) x gn!reader ; genre/trope: an angsty christmas special! ; wc 3000+ ; warnings: just an unrequited love fic... mentions of happy people idk

[6:44pm] gingerbread lingers in the air, despite the fact that you had shoved your pathetic attempt of a house in the bin a while ago.

still, the scent remains amidst the twinkle of christmas ornaments and the rustle of golden tinsel.  like a mockery of fate, it hangs around from early night when you had given up waiting, to the current midnight when the flicker of christmas lights along the neighbourhood was beginning to fade.

it seemed that this christmas, you would have to spend it alone.

of course, it hadn't always been like that. your friends from distant regions had all tried their hand to invite you to various parties. most offers had been simple pleasantries since there was only a handful of those who didn’t know you reserved this special night for an equally special someone, and the others you had to let down gently.

"i'm so sorry!" you had replied. "i already have plans for the night."

some of your friends, like zhongli, had hummed thoughtfully. "i see. it is always nice to spend this festive season with your loved ones. it is a shame i couldn't spend it with you, however."

"there's always next year." you found yourself apologising again, though in your heart you knew the situation would only repeat. "and i'll see you at the new years party." 

“new years, hm? then i suppose i will have to settle for seeing you then. have a wonderful christmas, name.”

hu tao beams from his right. "we'll be seeing you there! have fun with your special someone!"

others, had been a little less understanding, their whines and protests dragging on into the day.

"can't we see each other even for a second? please, please?"

"klee, name has already told you they'll be busy." albedo had interjected, appearing at her side, attention only partially directed at the conversation. 

the child pouts, fists balled at her side. "that isn't fair! i wanted us to sing jingle bells, all three of us! and to decorate the christmas tree, and to see all the christmas lights! then, we were meant to stay up to meet santa and leave gifts for him!"

"i'll still be there." albedo points out.

"it's not the same."

you laugh. "i'm sorry klee, i'll make it up to you next time."

"you said that last time. you were meant to make it up to me today." klee sniffles. "are you a liar, name?"

"alright, klee, that's too far." albedo frowns. "you have to say sorry."

"it's okay! besides, i'm the one in the wrong." you crouch down to talk face-to-face, gently wiping away the stray tears fallen on her cheek. "how about we go fish blasting on new years, hm? we can go to every pond and lake in teyvat, we'll do it for however long you like."

"really? what about santa?"

“your big brother albedo will invite him!” pointedly ignoring albedo’s gaze, you keep selling your point. “we’ll have so much fun, you’ll see.”

albeit still a little upset, klee snorts up the last of her outburst and nods. 

“i pinky promise this time." you wrap your pinky around hers and gave it a tight squeeze.

"you pinky promised this time. don't break it okay?" she repeats in a small voice.

you nod, standing back up. turning to albedo, you also give him a soft smile. "sorry i can't make it either, to your christmas party."

"it was sucrose's idea, i think that apology should be for her."

"still, i would have wanted to spend christmas with you."

"why can't you?" his eyes startle you in all its clarity as he turns, question capturing you on the spot. his clipboard seems almost disregarded in his arms. 

"i have plans!" you blurt out. “i’m… busy.”

albedo looks at you and for a second, you’re sure he can see right through you. "a significant other?"

the chill from dragonspine is chased from your body, a prickling red flush hot in its pursuit. "no, no way, nothing like that!" after a pause, you awkwardly rush to finish the sentence. "not yet, anyway."

he smiles in return at your confession before leaning down to face klee. "come on, we shouldn't bother name anymore. they have things to do." and then to you, as klee scurries away excited at the prospect of another adventure, he wishes you luck.

“i’ll deal with the santa.” he turns, waving back slightly before ushering klee inside.

some friends already knew the man in your heart, and their invitations are gateways for jokes.

"coming to my christmas party, name?" yaemiko had suggested, before her hand flies up to her mouth. "oh wait! i forgot you have better things to do, and better people to see."

"what's this? you won't be coming?" ei perks up, eyes flickering above the book at her lap. "after all our preparations?"

yaemiko interrupts you before you can even defend yourself. "name here already has plans."

"with who?"

your face warms rapidly. "it's nothing."

"nothing? you're not coming to our party, for nothing?"

"stop it." you whine, burying your burning face in your hands. "you already know why i can't come, yaemiko."

"all the more reason why it's so very fun to poke at it."

"what? what is it? stop leaving me in the dark, you two."

"shall i do the honours?" yaemiko asks.

"ei, i made dinner plans with someone tonight. so, i can’t make it."

"oh?" the god replies. "and who is this person?"

you ignore the sly fox's chuckle, and press onwards to answer. "someone... special. someone i, someone i like."

yaemiko gasps dramatically before snickering. "blush any harder and you might come down with a fever, dearest name."

you cup your cheeks and scowl at her. "you're awful."

"and so is your love life. really, name, how long have you been pining for this man? and for this to be the first move you make is really something else."

"what she's trying to say," ei interrupts, aware of the murderous expression on your face. "is that we hope you have a good time with your special someone. though we will miss you, we hope for the best, really."

and some friends had known since the very beginning.

"eager?" tighanri asks, the very first words to leave his mouth as you enter his abode. when you don't reply, he turns to you. "it is today, right?"

"right." you groan into your hands. "should i postpone it after all? leave it to another day? what if i'm not ready after all, what if he doesn't even feel the same way as me and i look like a complete fool after everything i've done to prepare?"

"name, he would be completely stupid if he doesn't appreciate you. and you know if it doesn't end well, collei, cyno and i are joining everyone else to watch nilou perform tonight. no one will say anything if you sneak in."

you look up at him and smile. "thanks, tighnari. i don't know how but you always say the right things at the right time."

'it's called impeccable timing, i just so happen to have it. speaking of, here's the icing you wanted, for the gingerbread houses."

you inhale in the scent of sugar. "that smells really good."

"i know." turning his back to you, he begins fussing around his area. "i've been told i could make a killer wife."

"yeah?" you poke a finger in the bowl. "who said that?"

"collei."

placing your finger on your tongue, you hum in appreciation. "she's not wrong this icing is delicious. you could sell this, honestly."

"are you offering?" he turns around with a smirk.

"i can pay with friendship?"

he laughs, shaking his head. "i don't need that."

you stick a different finger in the bowl and eat that too, closing your eyes at the taste.

"do that again and the bowl will be empty before it's night."

"i'm not eating that much."

"here."

your eyes widen, bowl completely forgotten as you look at the wrapped present in tighnari's hand, adorned with a bright red bow.

"this... this is..."

"my present to you." tighnari replies, a smile on his face. "merry christmas name, i hope tonight goes well."

all these holiday wishes, abundant in counting, yet there was still a hole in your heart from where a special someone had yet to say it. you find your mind blank aside from a single, daunting thought, the blanket you had hastily placed over your shoulders failing to keep the cold as the hours went on.

you replay the memory of your invitation to him over and over and over again, struggling to find any indication that he may just be late, may have just been caught in some last minute mission, that he would still be coming because he had said yes. you find that the invitation had been so causal, such a fly away suggestion, that he would have no choice but to assume it was an offering as friends, as comrades, rather than lovers. but that was alright, even if he came to your doorstep as a friend, because at least that meant he had come, because at least that meant you hadn't sat in your own home, more alone than any other day, for hours on end, waiting for the soft thud of his footsteps up to your door.

because at least that meant he hadn't stood you up.

you had definitely just been stood up.

the frosty breeze outside causes your nose and ears to tinge. you rub your arms as the cold settles in, but even the chill from the night wasn't enough to suffocate your thoughts. the crunch of snow, the whistle of the wind, the scuttering of cats as you near a little too close, all these things were not enough to erase the meaningless thoughts in your head.

it had all been so promising, the progression of your relationship, the final moment of courage that made you ask, the smile that he sent you, so full of adoration though now you can only wonder if it had all been your imagination. as the snow rains on, you wonder if you’ll forever associate the light sprinkling of white to this very moment, where the disappointment is enough to submerge you. 

well, tighnari had said you could always join him, if all went wrong.

"a christmas night alone for you, name?"

you look up, squinting at the rush of snow. a single figure stands in the distance, something about his posture so familiar to you. at last, you place a name to the face and you huff a cloud of steam into the air.

"scaramouche, no, the wanderer." you reply, his name dry on your tongue. "i wouldn't be mocking me if you were doing the same."

he shrugs, closing the distance between the two of you. you find him wearing a red scarf, and the very sight of it reminds you of someone else. "i choose to spend my christmases alone, though i don't think that would be the case for you."

"how can you be so sure?"

he smirks, the gesture so natural to him. "you've been crying." when you rush to rub at your eyes, he chuckles, loud and unapologetic. "rubbing it will only make it worse, don't you think?"

"shut up, wanderer." 

“not in the mood to talk? that hurts me, especially on a beautiful night like this.” 

you huff, letting the cold from your fingers settle into your burning eyes. “whatever. just leave me alone.”

silence, though not the type you like. you wonder why you can’t here the sound of his footsteps leaving you like you were so sure he was going to do. after all, the relationship between the two of you had never been close, simply friends of friends, sparing one another a nod in acknowledgment and maybe a few snarky remarks. 

when you look up, he’s still standing there, illuminated by streetlights. 

“why aren’t you leaving?”

“what kind of person would i be to leave a crying woman alone out on the street?”

“the same type of person you’ve always been.” you sniffle, cold.

the gesture isn’t lost on the wanderer, and with a sigh, he begins to unravel his scarf. you frown, backing away slightly. 

“what do you think you’re doing?”

without a word, the wanderer takes a step, and then another until he’s right in front of you. catching your eyes, he huffs, the steam blowing over your face, before slinging the scarf around your neck. 

at his touch, you fall silent. 

“so.” he begins. “who was the one that broke your heart?”

“it was no one.” you do a poor job at avoiding his eye. 

“i’m not a patient person, name.” 

again, you ignore him, shuffling into the scarf around your neck. though it hurt your ego to admit it, the world around you definitely felt warmer. 

with a tsk, the wanderer jabs a finger at your forehead and pushes back, forcing you to look up with a yelp. your eyes meet, and an insult raises to your tongue. “what the fuck! let go of me.”

“answer the question. who stood you up?”

you shake yourself from his touch and wiggle backwards, placing distance. “it was childe, if you have to know. jesus, wanderer, your finger is cold as shit.” 

“childe?” the wanderer repeats. “childe? you’re all sad and moopy because of childe?”

you glare at him. “shut it. i don’t need you to criticise my love life.” 

finally, a loud laugh escapes his throat. he even throws his head back, though you were almost positive your confession wasn’t even the least bit funny. that doesn’t stop him though, a hand wrapping around to clutch at his stomach, his laughs quickly becoming gasps of air. 

“yeah, yeah, laugh all you want. no really, thanks for that. it’s really helping.”

the wanderer peeks up at you through one eye, the most vibrant smile you’ve ever seen on his face still remaining. “oh you have no idea how much that made my day!”

“i think i have a rough idea.”

“you’re hilarious, name. what made you go ahead and fall for childe?”

“your heart is as cold as your fingers, wanderer. besides… i didn’t say i liked him.”

“you didn’t have to. the red on your face is enough.”

your heads cover your cheeks again, cursing your body for being so expressive. “whatever. now let me leave.” 

“hold on.” his arms stops you from walking past him, his gaze lingering at your waist before he pulls back. when he turns to face you, you don’t step back despite the proximity. it felt like a challenge, like he was daring you to back down. “you’re really spending the christmas alone? seriously?”

“it doesn’t concern you.” 

“well i’m about to make it concern me. spend the christmas with me.”

this time, it was your turn to laugh. “you’re kidding me, right? we barely know each other. and you totally laughed in my face, like, a second ago.”

“you just did the same thing to me just now.” he points out. “it cancels out.”

you hold your ground. “i am not spending the christmas with you. what, are you asking me out right now?” 

“why? getting nervous?”

“as if. you’d have to be the last person on teyvat for me to go on a date with you.” 

“that’s harsh.” his breath fans over your face as he laughs. “i would have gone on a date with you if you asked.”

“well, i’m not.” 

he hums, and something in his gaze changes, like a gear clicking into place. “but i am.” 

you hate that his words leave you flustered, blaming it on the fact that his suggestion had been absurd and abrupt and not the fact that he was looking at you the way you always hoped childe would. “wanderer, don’t joke. i’m really not feeling that right now.”

ignoring your words, his fingers creep up your arm, leaving a warm trail, dragging upwards to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “well, you’re not the worst thing i could pick up on a chirstmas night.” 

“woah, you really have a way with words, huh.” your heart beats faster, a betrayal to your mind. even as you speak, you find yourself enchanted by the way he looks at you, like he was holding you in the palm of his hand. 

“not pushing me away?” his fingers drift up your cheek, and you shiver. 

then, his hand finds purchase on the top of your head, fisting a handful of your hair and yanking it up. you yelp, hands flying to the spot of pain, words of protest already on your tongue, your mind telling you that you knew it, you knew he was up to no good, when his words cuts through the panic and freezes you.

‘look.” he says, his tone somewhere between disinterest and humour. “what’s above us, hm, name?”

you study the green above the both of you in a daze. “mistletoe.”

lighter this time, he lowers your head so he can look at you, fingers caressing your head slightly as if it will erase the pain. and it does, in a wonder that only christmas can bring, you find yourself speechless. the boy in front of you doesn’t register, though you can’t miss his degrading smile and the way his head is tilted for your response. you can’t move however, unsure if moving will break the moment, unsure on why you are so hesitant to end the situation when you really should be ending it, unsure on the warmth blossoming in your chest. 

with another hand, the wanderer swipes a finger under your lip before letting it drop to pull you closer by the waist. “not protesting anymore? i always thought the snarky part of you was your only redeeming factor.”

you open and close your mouth, then open it again. 

“i guess your stupidity has it’s own charm.” he snickers. “you’re bright red.”

“i’m bright red?” you squeak. 

“mhm.” leaning in, he finally closes the distance. 

and when your lips meet under mistletoe, it isn't the soft caress of his tongue that you notice but that he didn't quite taste like gingerbread.

merry christmas everyone! whether you celebrated yesterday, or you're celebrating today, or even if you don't celebrate at all, i hope you all have a wonderful day with friends and family !! ☆ i'm a little busy so sorry for the draft (again) !!

Better than you could aspire to be - Tighnari

Angst time! This is an isekai, not as long as I feared it would be. Tighnari is the one that goes into a different world, it'll make sense. Gender neutral reader, sad ending

Tighnari worked in a fast food place in his own world. See, he was a student, and the only place that would willingly take students were such places. He grew to hate this more intensely as he continued to work, somehow keeping up with his studies in botany. The smell of the food that smelled so unappetising after working around the food items for so long, the fact he had to scrub his ears to get food out that had been thrown by a rude customer, and on top of that he had people constantly pointing phones into his face and gushing over his 'cute ears'. He found himself daydreaming the day he could finally stop working in this hellhole, where he could finally enjoy his work in a field he loved.

City noises were excessive as well, the transport to his university not helping with anything apart from getting him from point a to b. Again, he knew people were taking pictures of his ears and shamelessly talking about how big they were. Some people said it must be a cosmetic, others saying that he was compensating for something else. Truthfully, he grew to despise them. The way people had no shame, the way some people even had the audacity to touch them without asking.

One day, he finished a particularly heavy shift, and he flopped onto the bed without even having the energy to stay awake. In his uniform, he tries to remind himself to change once he wakes up.

--

The next day, he wakes up in an unfamiliar forest. The flora around him didn't look familiar, the strange statue that loomed above and various other contraptions he was clueless about. He goes to check his phone, only to sigh when he realises that his phone was dead.

You hear the man call out, waking you up early, and you decide to go out to investigate. Looking over, you see a man in a strange uniform you never saw before. Sure, you usually stay in the forest, but you saw a lot of outfits on those who got lost in the forest and this was nothing like that. Walking down, you wave at the man, who looks up from the device in his hands.

"Hello! Are you lost?" You ask, seeing the man nod. "You are currently in Ghandara ville."

"Where is that?" The man asks. "I've never heard of that place."

"Sumeru? Teyvat?" You ask, the man in front of you only growing more confused. Looking down, you see he keeps glancing at the thing in his hands. "What's that?" You ask, genuinely curious.

"Oh, this is my phone. Do you have a charger handy?" The man asks, only to look more defeated when you explain you don't have one, nor do you understand what the phone was. "I'm from _, I work in McDonalds." The man explains, only to see you now confused.

"Well, I'm sure we'll figure out something!" You exclaim, hoping to cheer the man up. I am _, head forest ranger." You introduce yourself.

"Tighnari, Botany student and fast food worker." The man introduces himself.

You nod, taking interest in him stating he was a botany student where he was from.

"Well, if you'd like I can get in touch with a good friend of mine to get you into a botany course!" You start, before continuing."And you can stay here and work as a forest ranger!"

You expect Tighnari to go against the idea of being a forest ranger in an unfamiliar place, and he does hesitate for a second, but he decides to nod. Of course, you agree to train him up, and you show him to the room you were in before moving your stuff to someone else's room to stay with them.

Everyone meets Tighnari, who seems nervous for some reason. Thankfully, everyone was welcoming, saying he was sure to enjoy working as a forest ranger full time before they head off for their routes after you assign this to everyone.

--

"Please, he's really lost!" You ask, Cyno looking at you as you continue to beg him for the chance to let Tighnari into a botany course despite having no prior qualifications. "I think he's gonna be a good match for the course!"

"And how can you be so certain of this?" Cyno asks, not convinced. "Let's say he gets too attached to the world he isn't used to, as long as he wasn't lying. What happens if he wakes up back in his own world, only to miss the feeling of this one?"

"I'm sure he could adapt! He's adapted well to this one, and there's no harm in letting him in the course. Give him a shot, and if he isn't good enough then I'm fine with just taking him in as a forest ranger." You continue, Cyno closing his eyes. He knew you only spoke like this when your mind could not be changed, no matter how long the conversation lasted

"...Fine." Cyno finally lets out.

--

You work with Tighnari, and over time he gets adept with a bow. So, you decide to test him on his accuracy. To your relief, it appears he seemed to pick it up rather well, and you don't fully believe him when he claims he never used a bow before.

Turns out he was really good with his course work as well. You saw him work with his books often, even assisting other people with their own courses and keeping on top of his coursework.

The forest rangers really liked his company, and over time they grew more confident with their compliments to him.

"You're so good with that bow!"

"It's admirable how quickly you've been able to pick up these skills."

"Your medicine is better than what the head ranger does! Oh, no offence, _!"

"If _ isn't careful, you're gonna be taking the leadership role here!"

At first, you enjoyed seeing him gain confidence with these comments, but some of them really stung. You knew that while you were liked, people deemed Tighnari to be objectively better for the role of head ranger. He was doing really well with his studies, he was able to help people and keep his grades up, and on top of that he still had his spare time. You barely were able to keep up with all the withering zones, every time you turned your back one would materialise and make itself known to another ranger, and you'd have to take it on.

That was until Tighnari proved he was better with clearing these withering zones than you.

It felt like he was trying to make you feel awful for your lack of competency in your work, but he was incredibly friendly. You knew he was only trying to help, and that's what kept you from just giving up and giving him the position. So, you keep reminding yourself that these pointers you've been giving to Tighnari have helped him, and you were the one who got him onto that course.

--

Cyno sends you a letter, stating it was urgent. When you let everyone know you had to visit someone, you see them brush it off before they turn back to Tighnari. You don't spare a second glance, heading off as you hear someone talk about a dendro vision. As much as you wanted to talk, when Cyno required you it was never ideal.

--

Cyno looks particularly unnerved as he gazes at this portal in front of him. Turning, he spots you, and he waves you over.

"This is what I was warning you about." He explains. "This is Tighnaris world. I would have sent you with Tighnari himself, however that won't be ide." He explains, sighing out.

"Huh? But why is that a problem?" You ask, tilting your head.

"Since Tighnari obtained a vision, sending him back to his world would be less than ideal." Cyno states. "We need to send someone in his place. Or else, this portal won't go. He continues, looking over at you.

The look in his eyes is all you need to know.

"Oh man..." You huff out. "I have to go, don't I?"

Cynos eyes widen, shaking his head.

"Not necessarily, all we need is a non vision wielder." He begins. "We could send one of-"

"I'll go." You nod, Cyno opening his mouth as he tries to speak. "I was the one that worked so hard to keep him here, so I see it as fair."

You were also very insecure over Tighnari being classed as better than you in every way, but you don't dare tell Cyno this.

"...I'll miss you, you know." Cyno admits, a sad smile as he realises you were going to go even if he advocated against this. "Is there any way I can convince you-"

You shake your head, stopping Cyno.

"The feeling is returned." You admit.

Before you walk through the portal, taking Tighnaris place in his world, you give your best friend one long hug.

Pain

starting a new thread since the other was getting quite long hehe

thank you for the tag @sugawara-sweetheart

NO CHEATING: you’re starring in a movie with the last person saved in your camera roll and the last song you listened to is the title. Who/what is it?

hmmm...interesting 🤔 but Hirooooo 💕

tagging @kiyoo-omi @mintmatcha @saetyrn9 @myelocin and whoever else who wants to play!

IN THE WINDS OF TIME, KAEDEHARA KAZUHA 🍃

“those eyes used to know me, it’s been way too long. you are the moon and the stars and all i gaze upon, time won’t ever move slowly, what are you waiting on? say the word and i’ll be yours, you know i never forgot.” full playlist.

note: i know some of you are definitely thinking, oh god she's back again. and yeah!! finally!! dedicated to my good friend aka kazuha's wife @kazuharem !!!! i’m so glad to have been here to celebrate such a huge birthday milestone with you, and i hope life takes you in only good directions from here on out <3 elaina my beloved i hope you enjoy this very belated gift!!! i said i’d write your obituary here, but maybe i’ll leave it for the end so you get a proper send-off hm? additionally, i just want to preface that most of this was written before i actually did the archon quest, so some minor details are incorrect in canon, but don’t affect the story at all :)

synopsis: kazuha is the freest soul you have ever known — parts of him linger in the breeze, in the warm air and flowing waters of inazuma alike. but tied together once as friends, your relationship had turned sour upon the dire event of his friend’s death at the shogun’s hands. years later, you are stuck under the shogun’s jurisdiction in a job you once thought would give you a second chance; a position where your oldest and dearest friend is supposed to be the enemy. yet, as quickly as things had initially changed, your life flips on its head the moment the fatui are involved in the century-old conflict. holding information that could save thousands, it’s up to you whether you’d like to keep your position amongst the country’s elites, or find your way back to the side of the man who had once offered you the world.

warnings: pls set aside time for this monstrosity, a lil bit of the misunderstanding trope, friends to enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, sword to throat moment, descriptions of a wound to the chest, happy ending :D<3

word count: 21,000

in the past, when the maple leaves first began to pick up on the battlefield, it had only ever been instinctual to turn your head the other way. no one questioned how the superficial breeze never reached you, comrades never realised that the chance to pick crimson leaves from your hair always seemed to escape them. it’s as if there was a discrete force constantly shielding you from it — but, the answer has always been far more simple than that.

the man who travelled with the wind would never harm you.

distinct blazing eyes caught yours under the ocean blue sky. his footwork was light and intricately wrapped in the small blades of wind, silhouette lost in the blinding light of the midsummer sun.

you were only a newly-ranked general at that time, likely not even on the resistance’s radar yet -- but the sight of kazuha sent both nerves and a painful ache shooting through your chest.

you remember hesitantly ordering a retreat, fighting back a scoff. kazuha had no doubt planned to make quick work of the soldiers from the beginning — but seeing your face must have spurred him to trample the visionless soldiers like bugs.

he had wanted to show you what he was capable of.

it had been the same wretched cycle since the day you’d chased him from your life for good — a stray gaze. an empty threat. anonymous letters between the months. with one mistake, what used to be a smooth friendship easily twisted into strained alliance.

but neither grudge nor duty is enough to erase the past. no matter the kind of resentment he feels towards you, he is just as unable to harm you as you are him. the odds are against both of you in a complicated dance wherein you cannot touch, wherein he is still the same unfortunate boy he was all those years ago; just as you are still the same unlucky girl.

but that had been almost nine months ago, one of the last times you’d seen kazuha in the flesh. despite yourself, you still find yourself hoping on sleepless nights that he has somehow turned his life into something he can be proud of.

it had been a great shock to see the kaedehara family fall. occasionally, you think that it may have been only a pipeline that has gotten kazuha to the status of a fugitive -- but you had seen him that day, running from the horrific scene painting the tenshukaku. he is guilty only by association.

the sun falls quickly over inazuma city that night; the place where it had all begun.

in the middle of making your routine walk to the precinct of the shogun’s abode, you have the misfortune of coming upon kujou sara doing the same.

the raiden’s bloodhound is among the most resilient of the shogunate’s underlings, and it is hard to keep your thoughts from her more often than not. being someone with blurry convictions, her watchful eyes on you are constant.

as you attempt to brisk past her, she falls into step beside you.

“good afternoon,” she greets you kindly, though pointedly does not use your proper title. “I hope the day has treated you well so far?”

you force a polite smile— the very same you offer uncooperative diplomats. “yes, thank you. i hope the same of you.”

kujou sara nods, conversation dissolving into the sound of heels on stone. at the very least, you admire her agility in the geto sandals she is never seen without. to manage to flawlessly keep up appearances even when carrying out duties is an enviable thing. but, that tends to be the extent of your jealousy. you have nothing more to grasp from a woman of such governmental wiles.

“we are a team, that is indisputable.” she says suddenly, continuing to look forward even as you turn your head. “but during this conference, i will be the sole member contributing to the conversation.”

her abrupt order strikes you where it hurts. kujou sara’s dislike for you as her partner is deep-rooted, though you had never expected her to hold you back so blatantly. perhaps it is out of good faith, perhaps it is a jab, but in either scenario, it is disgustingly fortunate.

very few members of the inazuman council are ignorant of your past relations to a certain fugitive in the sangonomiyan resistance. to call a conference to deal with the assent of the rebels is no small issue in anyone’s mind, but it is risky for you to speak on most issues concerning it.

you push down a grumble as you nod. though you are only one of the generals by title, making an attendance at the logistical conference is at the very least necessary. certain days you suspect that you walk on a tightrope before the rest of the higher-ups, one mistake away from being shipped back out to the fishing island you grew up on.

but you are intent on keeping today from being one of them.

“i thank you all for appearing this evening.” the leader of the raiden shogun’s regime stands before a long pine table some minutes later, nodding indiscriminately to the small group that occupies the tatami mats. hot tea had since been placed in front of you at your arrival -- a stout cup of sencha warms nearly everyone’s hands. “it was certainly a lot to ask you all here as of recent events, but i believe that to fix this issue, going to the heart as fast as possible may be the only way we persevere.”

quiet murmurs run amongst the familiar faces. you frown.

“i will get started immediately, then.”

when the woman turns around to begin her proposal, you dip your head. nothing she says is anything you want to hear. so, despite the obvious stares you feel boring into you, you continue to count the stray leaves in your tea, along with the seconds that pass in your silence.

“if there is a chance to catch them in a place they aren’t expecting it, this would be the optimal route to take.”

the words pull you out of a daze as your brows tighten.

“you seem awfully excited for this plan, general ___. would you care to give your insight?”

your eyes whip to your partner beside you, backed by rage and formidable confusion. kujou sara knows exactly what kind of person you are, and exactly how to push you in the directions you will twist and turn the most.

when you don’t reply, a tinge of a smile peeks at the corner of her lips.

“your lineage is pure, but your mind is far from it.”

taking a deep breath, you face her with the air you are meant to conquer with -- the you that forced you away from your best friend, but had been the sole solidifier of your modern life.

“on the contrary, my mind is the reason i’m sitting here.” you remind her. “can you say the same?”

but the you that has solidified your modern life is nothing more than a rotten liar.

when your mind goes to the hydro vision in the locket on your neck, you associate it with not the ceaseless hunt for visions in inazuma, but the people who fight to make sure that you are able to keep it. the vision hunt decree may have been easy for no one, but it was harder for you — being forced to choose your side so quickly, so haphazardly, it very well could have meant the end of your life.

the reason that you are reluctant to provide the resistance with criticism is because you agree with them; you agree with him. you had always agreed with kazuha, but it had been the split second decision to hide your support that had driven a wedge so deep between you.

you hadn’t been in contact since you’d left ritou on the announcement that you were joining the shogun’s army -- but back then, it hadn’t meant anything. kazuha was merely a wanderer. a dear friend’s position in life meant little to him, so long as he could see you every so often.

musou no hitotachi is a powerful weapon, tales of it woven in folklore and urban legends alike. no mortal had laid eyes upon it in the last century, making it a weapon of high reverence, and even higher anticipation. you had never known the man in red that appeared on the shogun’s doorstep that day, demanding an audience with the archon. but knowing his fate, you are glad that he remains a stranger.

you were to do nothing but stand there, watch as a new recruit while he subjected himself to something no one has ever come out of alive. even now, you need to remind yourself that there is nothing you could have done to change the outcome -- but the glint in his eyes is something that you will never forget.

though, even with all of those variables, it was kazuha’s sudden appearance that had taken you off guard the most. you hadn’t expected to see him so soon after you’d bid him farewell, most of all not jumping in to snatch the man’s dying vision.

the shogun’s body had barely acknowledged his presence, however, the careful turn of her gaze had suggested she was staring right at him. kazuha was gone as quick as he had come, running where not even a god could follow -- yet where another person very well could.

an elegant outstretched hand suddenly signalled you in his direction. terrified, you remember the exact moment the shogun’s eyes met yours for the first time, as if daring you to question her. your breath hitched.

stiff legs had taken you in the direction kazuha had run off, faster than you’d ever ran before into the haze of the midsummer evening.

it was not hard to discern the alleyways he’d ducked into. kazuha had unintentionally left a silent trail that only you could recognise, a mix of wind and sweet scents that drove your mind half crazy. ducking under the low-hanging balconies, you caught sight of a flash of red and skidded to a sudden stop.

kazuha was breathing hard at the end of the alley, chest rising and falling in a gruesome manner as he stared up at the ledge of the wall. you were in a similar state, forced to take small steps towards him even as his friend’s dead vision dropped in the dirt.

he could easily get away. kazuha’s anemo vision has always been a thousand times more practical than yours. yet, even so, he levelled the playing ground himself.

“did you lead me here on purpose?” you asked quietly, stomach curdling as he still refused to physically acknowledge you. his adam’s apple bobbed.

“kazuha?”

his head whipped to yours with inane speed, teeth gritted. “what about you? are you here to arrest me?”

“i… don’t know. she told me to follow you but i-” you cut yourself off, unaware of the way his eyes softened. “kazuha, what’s going on?”

kazuha’s attention lingered on you for a few heavy moments before a sigh tumbled from his mouth. impromptuly, he came closer to you, running a stray hand through his hair. your shoulders relaxed at the familiar trust he placed in you.

“my friend, he had a foolish proposition, and i never thought he would honour the promise, but-” he choked slightly on his words as his attention met the bleak vision on the ground, hand dropping from his head. “he left this morning without saying a word.”

kazuha nodded along to his own story as he took in a deep breath, exhaling unsteadily. “he was already dead when i arrived.”

your eyes shut as a frown took over your features. “i’m sorry. i should have tried harder to stop the shogun. maybe then-”

“and make me lose two people?” he shook his head, taking your hands in his with a pleading look in his eye. it caught you off guard. “no, never go against her. please, ___. promise me.”

“i-” a surprised laugh escaped you. “i don’t have much of a choice. she’s my superior now, kazuha.”

the reminder is a grim one for him as he lets go of your hands, a frown steadily coming to his lips.

“then-” the frown persisted, as if it was a manifestation of the mess of thoughts whirling through his head. “why don’t you come with me? they would say i took you, and we could figure this out together. just like we always have.”

you remember kazuha’s offer stopping you clearly. you could witness the world together, living off of wild fish and fruit, being forever free of the shogun’s iron clutches -- it sounded like a perfect deal, and with everything in you, you wanted to say yes.

“i.. i’m sorry. but i don’t know if that’s a good choice.”

why didn’t you say yes?

you hew the memory, forcing down a grimace.

“either way,” you lament, turning a conceding eye on your partner. “we are both here because we are capable somehow.”

kujou sara’s eyes narrow almost implicitly, as if to warn you for a future conversation. the council members around you don’t seem extremely invested in your one-sided rivalry. often, this is how chunks of meetings tend to go; sara acting as if she is still on the front, and you redirecting the blows elsewhere.

there is no doubt in either of your minds that it is a closed interaction, not affected by anyone else, but even you can recognise when it is too much for those around you. “though, i wouldn’t say excited. i have no opinion on this plan in particular.”

you maintain a straight face even though everyone can see through the lie.

resigned to listening to the rest of the meeting dawdle on, you drown out your colleague’s voices in favour of the void that occupies your mind.

the first breath of fresh air that enters your lungs that night afterwards is almost therapeutic— no longer are you pinned between duty and heart, but your time spent outside of it is still unfortunately limited. the moon hangs high in the sky as you walk back to your place for the night. inevitably, you pass the same alleyway from your earlier thoughts.

your lips twist in thought.

the shock on kazuha’s expression after you’d told him your verdict is something that you will never forget. with all of his heart, he has always been understanding, but something about your rejection must have scratched him deep — because as your stomach plummeted, he let out a shuddering sigh.

“why not?” he asked, adam’s apple bobbing. “what’s so important that you can’t leave behind? the shogun?”

“kazuha, that’s not fair. as much as i want to, i finally have a stable job, and a future to look forward to. i can’t give that up just for one person and a chance.”

his lips thinned, eyes shooting back and forth before landing regretfully on you. “forgive me. but it’s not just one person, it’s me.”

your lips parted, a processing look flooding your eyes.

“kazuha. i will always be with you, but i can’t just pick up and leave!”

“why not?!” kazuha gestured his hand, shaking his head. he was certainly blinded by something that night, something so important that it overtook his better judgement. “what if i lo-“

he cut himself off with a grunt.

“what if you what?” you repeated, taking a step forward. “if you have a reason for me to come, let me hear it. it’s pointless to continue if you won’t say it.”

kazuha was silent.

“i get that you’re angry.” you looked away, lips twisted as a bitter feeling piped in your gut. “but it’s not my fault your friend decided to walk into death by the shogun’s hand. you can handle one other thing not going your way.”

presently, a light breeze takes your hair as the memory comes to an end. if you concentrate hard enough, you can almost perfectly recall the feeling of his shoulder brushing against yours as he moved to leave. for years, that night was the last time you’d seen him.

a biting sensation envelops your head every time you think about the hurtful words you’d let yourself say in the heat of the moment.

your eyes trail down to the uniform over your chest, the signature violetgrass purple colour of the shogunate’s army — and the symbol of those who have always been the enemy.

clutching a hand to the fabric, you sigh.

“what am i doing?”

you mumble, eyes trailing down into the barren alleyway. any words you could have said are lost in the winds of the past, conceivably just as your dear friend has always been.

shrugging off your jacket with the shogunate’s emblem imprinted on it, shaky hands tie it around your waist. you’ve regretted the words you said that day a thousand times, yet when you have reminisced in the past, no reaction has been quite as monumental as this.

perhaps your life has always been an anomaly.

a part of your old reasoning still rings true: it would be difficult to change most things about your present life without outright deserting all you know. yet, in this moment, all you want to do is just that.

suddenly, you let out a hiss, hand flying to the locket that holds your vision. it burns to the touch. without thinking, you consider ripping the chain, but with a grumble, you just pull your jacket back up.

the archons are laughing at you from somewhere in teyvat, and it disgusts you.

days pass as the idea ferments in your head. but as the whirlwind of preparations being made continues to grow larger, it gets more and more difficult to hide your displeasure.

one night you are left to your own devices completely, not needed anywhere and not expecting anyone on your doorstep. it is the first time you have let yourself become completely alone with your thoughts since the shogun regime’s presentation.

a split second idea turns into a walk. a walk turns into grabbing your bag on the way out, containing everything you couldn’t bear to part with. in the deepest part of your mind, your intentions are clear. but, the nerves that occupy your heart are keen on continuing the ruse.

quick steps bring you to the main street of inazuma city. shops and people alike bustle in the streets around you, perfectly masking your appearance — until suddenly, a light hand rests on your shoulder.

you turn to meet the apprehensive eyes of a semi-familiar guard as he retracts his hand quickly. a nervous laugh escapes him.

“my apologies ma'am, you were not responding to your name.” his bows his head slightly, and your brows furrow. “general, ms. sara is requesting your attention.”

your eyes widen a fraction. “now?”

he nods, gaze politely turned from the bag over your shoulder. “yes. she is waiting at a spot nearby uyuu restaurant.”

lips thinning, you thank him and take off in the opposite direction. steps now heavy with a different purpose, you see kujou sara almost immediately after stepping within the vicinity.

her work clothes have been abandoned in favour of a more casual getup, comprised of solid colour clothing accessorised only by the red tengu mask on her head. something in your chest curls as your body moves forward robotically. she must not be expecting you on official business, or else she would still be in formal attire — but a kujou sara wanting to meet off-duty is much more frightening than the normal alternative.

you push the bag over your shoulder to hide behind your back as you sit across from her.

“sara,” you greet with a polite smile. “to what do i owe the pleasure?”

she mirrors the smile, expression relieved. kujou sara is truly a different person when the weight of the shogun’s approval is lifted from her shoulders.

“i apologise for calling you out so suddenly. I assume you were in the area?”

you nod, subconsciously tucking your bag further behind you. she pays no mind to it.

“yes, i was out attempting to run errands.” you lie. “though, please do not worry, this meeting is of no inconvenience.”

“i’m glad.” she says this, but the words seem oddly ornamental. then, as if on cue, she casts a sidelong glance before leaning forward.

“i need your assistance with something of utmost importance, are you able to spare a few longer minutes?”

curiously flickers in your thoughts, as if mimicking the fast birth of a flame. you nod mindlessly.

kujou sara takes in a breath before continuing again; “it’s about the rebels.”

you bite back a frown. it seems they will never let down on their duty to be a reminder of your mistakes.

“go on.”

truthfully, it is hard to focus on your partner’s words. she is concise and thorough in her explanations, detailing each problem and each solution she has deemed necessary. but in your head, all you can focus on is the fact that the sangonomiyan rebels are beginning to win. they are taking back parts of inazuma one at a time, slowly but surely.

“our initial plans may not hold water any longer.” she explains, and you snap to attention. “so, i have elected to take matters into my own hands.”

your brows raise quizzically. “your own-?”

“you must know this:” your partner interrupts. “i am unable to give specific details at the moment. but i’ll need your help with the allies i plan to contact when the opportunity arrives.”

sighing, you shrug. “i can’t make any promises, but… i will try my best to lend you a hand.”

kujou sara leaves first, speaking of other arrangements and responsibilities to take care of. yet, it all seems to bounce off of you. the bag behind you cuts like a knife into your skin, a sharp reminder of the plans you had been on your way to enacting. would it be fair to leave now? to arrive at the rebel camp and make friends, only to have them potentially swept away by whatever plan of kujou sara’s you didn’t stick around to hear?

you frown as you sweep around the cup of water a waitress has since sat down in front of you. the crowd bustles around you as a gentle wind takes through the streets, carrying the scent of blooming petals and flowing waters -- a peaceful stagnance that you suspect will last even through the most tumultuous of inazuma’s conflicts. human lives are but fleeting specks in the winds of time. comparable even to the atoms that float through the breeze, each one is small but mighty. and you cannot give up a single one, no matter how seemingly insignificant.

the decision is made as you swing your bag over your shoulder, leaving not a trace behind at the scene.

as night falls not much later, you are left to stare at your belongings that peek out of the bag. it sits away from your reach, discarded haphazardly on the floor as if you mean to return to it.

i do, you remind yourself. if you are to seek shelter with the sangonomiyan rebels, you must at least bring a gift.

however, this gift is one that needs time to develop. there are days wherein you hear nothing but tidbits from your partner, whispers about making progress or woes on how much she looks forward to the plan being complete. as time goes on, though, you are only more apprehensive to the strategy kujou sara plans to cook up. certain details are concerning, and you are never able to piece together a full picture.

an unwelcome surprise is a particular letter that had arrived one morning, handed off directly to you. it is somehow signed delicately yet thoughtlessly — though anonymous, it is infuriatingly in character for the wandering ronin. you resign to leave it unopened, stressed by the timing of it.

during the long nights, you wonder if some deep part of kazuha’s intuition expects you. or, perhaps he has always anticipated an eventual breakdown. for now, you can’t be too sure.

and at the seemingly snail-like pace kujou sara is coming along, you occasionally doubt you ever will be.

until almost two weeks later, when kujou sara pulls you aside. there’s an odd glint to her eyes that evening that sets your nerves alight almost immediately. but alongside the anticipation that plagues you, you can’t help her excitement that rubs off on you.

however, it’s extinguished quickly.

the soft summer wind whips against your face later that night as you make your escape. you have done so many things wrong in your life, catered to so many lies and regretted so many decisions — and maybe you don’t deserve the luxury of feeling that regret. but if you aren’t able to meet the resistance in time, the human in you will beg for forgiveness at the feet of anyone who will let go of the time you have lived unaware of your partner’s plans for them.

the fatui. you grimace as her words come back to mind. the crooked diplomats are no strangers to you, and their willingness to help with such a devious plot is of little surprise. the real surprise, however, had been sara’s own excitement for the sinister plan; whether blinded by the shogun’s wishes or something otherwise greater.

delusions are monstrosities that seep through a person’s bones, draining any driving force in favour of the weapon’s potential -- to wipe an enemy out from the inside is not necessarily a bad strategy, but to resort to such cruel measures? you have only heard of the harbingers using the weapons in action, namely woven in the tales of the famed traveller that seems to be traversing the lands. but you have never had the misfortune of coming upon one yourself.

it is one of the most inhuman strikes to make on an enemy that you could have imagined.

dread settles deep within your chest, and with everything in you, you truly wish that kazuha was not as far away as he is. perhaps then it’d be easier to contact him. but no amount of ‘maybe’s or ‘what-if’s can change the past. in this moment, you are to rely on only yourself to get where you need to be.

your sandaled feet hit the pavement hard, sending shots of pain up your calves and into the brace of your knees. the outskirts of inauma city are less densely populated, normally marked by a few straggling farmers here and there. but the sudden increase in guards only adds sweat to your brows. the optimistic part of you hopes that no one has caught wind of your plans yet, but the smart one knows that kujou sara is adept at what she does -- if it is up to her, you will not leave the island alive.

“stop!”

as if on cue, familiar shouts ring out behind you. you don’t dare to turn your head even as your lungs begin to burn. when the footsteps sound crushingly near, your hand reaches around haphazardly to the weapon on your back -- a long navy blue polearm, delicately engraved with the ocean’s waves.

it’s ironic, you think, as you come full circle. you point the weapon your enemy had carved by hand for you at the people you’d once regarded as something you could never leave behind. you may not have a place amongst anyone any longer, but the anonymous letter you’d discarded in your bag gives you hope regardless.

because no matter who your enemies are, there is still one person you can hope will see you for who you are.

“as your former commander, let it be known that i have no tolerance for those who hurt inazuma’s citizens.” you sneer, grip tightening on the polearm in your hands as you swipe away yet another wave with the water that materialises over your weapon.

if you are known as anyone in inzauma’s history, it will not be as somebody who let the world walk over them.

fujikabuto fort is a two day trek across inazuma’s beaches — you know the area well enough thanks to prior experience, but certain things still catch you by surprise. wandering ronins are quick to interrupt you in favour of attempting to steal what you have on you, and the thunder bane also proves to be a formidable enemy.

you never anticipated a warm welcome at the end of your short journey; how could they know of your circumstance, after all? yet it takes your bleary mind by surprise nonetheless to see the soldiers react to you in horror. it’s not a new reaction — and the faded shogun’s symbol over your jacket is not one that will go unrecognised.

but perhaps it would have been a better idea to discard it.

well versed in the hostility, you raise your hands amicably. you are far past starting conflict with these people, taking into consideration the goal you retain even as a resistance soldier begins to approach slowly. you nod your head in silent greeting. suddenly, your breath hitches as a sword is brought to your throat.

“what’s your business here?” the weapon digs lightly into your skin, and for appearance’s sake, you force down the desire to turn the man’s own sword on him. he is unrecognisable, likely only a soldier of normal rank assuming he got lucky enough to snag someone wearing the enemy’s colours.

gritting your teeth, you smile politely. “i’m here to see general gorou--”

the sword twitches, and for the life of you, you cannot hide your distaste.

“--on personal business.” you finish.

the man quirks a brow, casting a quick glance at the rest of the soldiers behind him. with the presence of his so-called upper hand, he must truly believe that he has the right to be cocky. a small smile turns the corner of his lips up. the soldier’s free hand comes up to wave another over, likely a subordinate of some kind by the way she scurries over.

“an enemy general…” his head twists in false wonder, the edge of his sword digging into your skin, you grimace as blood begins to pool beneath your skin.. “i reckon she’s worth a hefty price to us. what do we do with her?”

the other soldier seems confused. she looks apprehensively between you and the man, as if weighing the weight between sword and spear -- before finally, she shrugs.

“not what you’re suggesting. we should get her to general gorou.” she insists, ignoring the warning in the soldier’s eye. “whether she truly has business with him or is only bluffing, it will go over smoothly as long as he is dealing with it.”

the soldier tsks, nudging her with his shoulder as you look on. he whispers unidentifiably, still smirking even as the poor girl goes red.

“fine. do what you want.” she sighs, sparing you each one last glance before heading off in the opposite direction. watching her back, you can’t help but shake your head.

“i don’t think dragging her into your threats makes for a very charming impression.”

you wince as the sword presses further into your throat with a vengeance. the group of onlookers is slowly growing, especially as an itchy hand reaches for the polearm on your back.

you tilt your head back as to separate the metal from your skin, letting the blood drip from your throat as you take in a breath. “i’ll give you one last chance to direct me to your general. i won’t be letting a foot soldier order me around any longer than that.”

anger sparks in the man’s eye in the exact moment your hand finds the water-enveloped weapon on your back. but, largely distracted by the heat of the moment, he doesn’t notice the way that the wind begins to pick up in the same tense you do.

“hey, what are you-?”

you step back to look up into the sky early enough to expect what no one else does. but, namely, to leave room for the man that seems to plummet from the heavens. a flash of red and white comes down from above to adorn your vision with maple leaves and flurrying fabric.

nine months. nine months without contact and the moment kazuha’s eyes meet yours, you feel everything rushing back despite yourself. panic rakes in his gaze over you. yet, when he settles, it is not in front of you, but the soldier that had threatened you not even minutes ago.

“kazuha!” the soldier snaps to attention, garnering your concern. “welcome back to inazuma!”

“you were abroad.” you sigh, letting your hand drop from your weapon as your jaw loosens. “what a lovely greeting. i take it our separation stung?”

you’re stupid.

headstrong words leave your mouth, betraying everything you wish to say -- a depressingly common theme in your relationship.

kazuha doesn’t answer with words at first, only the slight tilt of his head. you pride yourself in the fact that he does not once make a move to reach for his sword.

“terribly. what are you doing all the way out here?”

“I already told that scumbag but--” you sigh bitterly, hand reaching up to wipe the blood off your throat. astute eyes follow your actions with an indiscernible look. “he stopped me from going any further.”

almost leisurely, kazuha takes a peek at the soldier behind him, who raises his hands in mock surrender.

“come with me.”

the solider casts a small smile at you as he begins to follow in your friend’s footsteps, kazuha then stops midstep. an amused look swims through his eyes.

“my apologies.” he bows his head. “not you, but her.”

there’s a beat of silence in the air that you swear is thick enough to slice with a sword. but, not sparing the soldier the privilege of another glance, you quickly pick up step behind kazuha. he just barely waits for you to catch up on the rigid path.

“care to explain?” kazuha asks, reaching into his pocket to casually pull out a red handkerchief and offer it to you. “you’ve only just arrived, and you’re already in trouble?”

hesitantly, you take it. kazuha speaks sparingly, and it doesn’t necessarily surprise you, but it hurts regardless.

“it wasn’t my fault. i walked up looking for general gorou and that bastard went straight to threatening me.” you grumble, using the cloth to carefully wipe the remaining blood off of your neck. fortunately, the man did not cut deep. “if you had been any later, you might’ve needed to set aside a sickbed.”

his brow quirks. “you’re here to see the general…?”

your eyes meet his from the side, pushing him to elaborate.

“is that the reason you didn’t open my letter?” kazuha asks.

“oh, that? it was the first one in months.” you frown, shaking your head as you step up and into the main part of the camp. “what was i to do? open it like i was expecting it?”

kazuha doesn’t answer. but it’s not a stunned silence — it’s almost as if he had been expecting the taunting response, simply waiting for you to finish.

embarrassed, you look away with a sigh. “how do you know i didn’t open it, anyway?”

he eyes you curiously.

“the words in the breeze brought the information to me.”

“…of course they did.” you grumble.

the terrain of the resistance’s camp is rugged, but you have to give credit where it’s due -- they were somehow able to carve paths out of the hard dirt, even if it is near impossible to avoid impaling your foot with a sharp rock at every other step. the tents are also small and spaced evenly, leaving room for privacy, if not total isolation when needed. impressed, you nudge kazuha as you walk.

“how long did it take you to set up this camp?”

he shrugs. “i’m not sure, i wasn’t here to do that.”

short and concise.

you nod in lapse of a response. of course, your relationship wouldn’t mend itself. but you had expected a better starting point -- it had been years since you’d told kazuha to leave, though you suppose something like that isn’t easily forgotten. taking a peek up at him, you frown.

he is indifferent to the utmost extent, expression flat as he leads you to where you need to go. the only indication that kazuha knows you walk beside him is the quick answer that comes after every pointless question you churn out.

when you stop in front of a particularly large tent, he finally speaks to you.

“then why come here?”

the words sting as your stomach drops.

“…because you were right.” you mumble, averting your eyes so you don’t have to meet his piercing gaze. “i never should have stayed.”

a few moments of silence pass before kazuha’s mouth attempts to open, but he is cut short by the sudden swiping aside of the tent’s curtains. surprised, you stare at a fox-eared man with wide eyes.

gorou is equally as stunned to see you. “general ___?”

awkwardly, you bow your head in acknowledgment.

“i don’t… go by that anymore.” you say, attempting to ignore the shock that permeates their composures. “please, just call me ____.”

a hand grabs your shoulder. “you don’t go by- what are you saying?”

you don’t look at kazuha even as he squeezes, addressing gorou rather than the confused man beside you.

“i had always planned to leave the shogunate eventually.” you admit, releasing a quiet sigh of relief as kazuha disconnects from you. “but now, they’re planning something terrible for you that i couldn’t stick around to see happen .”

gorou looks to the man beside you, as if searching for a second opinion. when kazuha nods, gorou leads you back in preparation for what could be the worst.

the tent is small but secure. the corners are meticulously closed with intricate knots to avoid sound escaping, and a single stove works to heat the space. in the middle of the cozy space is a table, over which hang compartments of what you can only assume are military papers.

“you can sit there.” gorou gestures to the seat farthest from the entrance, and you comply. you wish you could see the expressions on their faces now, but your entire story depends on your credibility — even the smallest signs of hesitance may be taken the wrong way.

silently, you peer up at them after you slip into the seat. gorou follows suit quickly, taking the seat across from you and knitting his hands over the table.

“so, tell me again why you’re here?”

unsure of how to begin, you lean forward on your palm. “well. have you received any care packages recently..?

gorou crosses his arms. “why should i share information like that?”

“general, for this to work, i’ll need you to trust me for now.”

“you have no authority here.” he reminds you, watching you as your words die in your throat. “you’re lucky i’m hearing you out at all.”

“and what if you do turn me away?” you quirk a brow. “are you prepared for the consequences of your actions?“

it’s a bold statement, and you’re prepared for him to take it as a threat — but this is something you must run by him no matter what. if he does not want your cooperation, he must at least think it would serve no harm to garner it.

gorou’s expression remains still. the only sign that he had heard you at all rests in the delicate set of his brows, alluding to the surprise he cannot show.

“what consequences do you mean?”

you recount your past few weeks in inazuma — the meeting wherein you’d realised your true feelings in accordance with the vision hunt decree, and your calculated promise to help kujou sara with her secret plan to fight the resistance.

carefully, you skirt around the details that involve resolving to find your way back to kazuha. but even as you explain the moment of mindset change you had always fought back, his lack of reaction is disappointingly honest.

“so, you meant to tell me,” gorou contemplates your words, eyes far off as he pieces your words together. “we’ll receive a package from an unknown sponsor in due time?”

you agree.

“and this package contains delusions from the fatui that are disguised as normal weapons?”

“yes, that’s what i was told.”

gorou shares a look with kazuha.

“___.” when gorou says your name, his tone is kind. your expression twists slightly at the sudden change. “you said that you had always been on the fence about the shogunate. am i correct?”

unsure where gorou is taking this, you nod.

“how… how sure are you that these thoughts weren’t visible to other people? is there any chance that this information was given to you intentionally?”

it’s a valid point you’d never considered.

“why-?” you speak without thinking. “it may have always been clear where my alliances were to some, but they would have no gain in pushing me out. you know how hard it is to replace a general!”

you barely notice how kazuha’s brows lift, but the minuscule action reminds you of the words you’d just let go — in a moment of desperation, you’d revealed the contradiction that had plagued you since years ago on that night. the one you’d initially intended to keep hidden until you were sure he was open-minded enough to hear it.

“e-either way.” you shut yourself down and avoid kazuha’s eyes. “if you’re suggesting that they would attempt to use my opposition as a test, they have trusted me many times before. besides, no amount of opposition would be enough to let me go. an army does well when there are different viewpoints.”

gorou agrees. “sure, but not if those viewpoints are in favour of a long-standing enemy.”

at a loss for words, you sit back.

“it’s not a lie…” you trail off, thinking of the moments you had caught with the tengu warrior. “kujou sara is a lot of things, but trust me when i say that she is not an actress.”

it pains you to see that he does not believe you:

time passes slowly from that point on — your story is quickly passed amongst the soldiers and largely doubted. most treat it as if catching wind of the fatui’s plot right as the resistance is gaining ground is too perfect to be a coincidence. but, the rational part of you knows how it sounds, so you waste no breath telling the people around you to believe it.

one morning a few days later, kazuha appears at your tent early.

“come on, sit up.”

drowsy, you do as he says without thinking. you’d been in the same shogunate jacket since the day you arrived, and though most of the resistance members are slowly getting used to your presence, one soldier named teppei has taken to being very kind to you. his golden eyes are resilient as they fearlessly tell off anyone that dares to pick on you.

you remember his hand descending upon your shoulder vividly. “everyone deserves a second chance!”

as kazuha approaches you presently, tired eyes meet him while he crouches next to your cot.

you offer him an incomplete smile, to which he has a hard time ignoring. “good morning.”

his lips twitch in response. “good morning.”

“hold out your arm?”

you oblige, giving kazuha your arm limply and he takes it. curiously, you observe him as he fishes a roll of medical tape out of his pocket. he rips a piece off with his teeth.

“you don’t fit in here with this.” he muses, taping over the shogunate symbol on your bicep with practiced hands. your lips thin in an attempt to hide the cry that works to escape your throat.

“…i know.” you whisper as your head bows slightly. kazuha’s eyes flit up to you, actions halting. “i don’t fit in here. i don’t fit in there.”

his lips thin slightly as he offers you a strained smile. “you will. i… believe your story. and when the others do too, i will help you gloat to each.”

your eyes trail down to his as dejection fills your voice. “i’m sorry, kazuha. i know you don’t want to hear it, but i’m so sorry.”

the blond pauses for a moment, but your heart drops when he looks away.

“there’s no need to apologise.”

as he turns his back to leave, you can’t help but wonder in what light he had meant it.

you have no choice but to go on in anticipation; anticipation for kazuha, for the package you pray the resistance receives, and for yourself. because in the meantime, there’s also no telling how much time will pass before you are able to find a comfortable position amongst your new peers.

you still don’t dare to approach kazuha on your own accord -- because it’s hard to know what to expect from the ronin, as any two interactions between you may be completely different. some days, you will find kazuha offering you an extra serving of the unagi he’d caught that morning, while others, he might only spare you a few stray conversations.

you make countless excuses for him in your head while truthfully, you cannot explain his tendencies. there may be patterns within the hot and cold actions, you cannot for the life of you figure it out. so, not knowing the interactions you will have, you leave the duty of seeking you out to him.

and while it may be true that his feelings seem mixed, he never fails to do so. and you would like to think that it means something.

much to kazuha’s dismay, you have not changed.

desperately, he tries to justify a dislike for you -- to doubt you like the resistance soldiers are within their right to, to refuse to separate your identity from the organisation you’d left him for, or even to hold a grudge against the things you’d said to him in the heat of the moment years ago. but most of all, to let go of the same wretched longing he’d clung to ever since that night he’d left you in inazuma city.

yet, it is obvious that your time with the shogunate has done nothing to you. welcome or not, you are here presently because you believe you’ve done the right thing.

even if it means you think you’ve lost him.

in the first hours of a morning nearly two weeks into your impromptu visit, kazuha catches himself attempting to piece together your impressions of the resistance so far. for life to change so suddenly must have been tumultuous. yet he has not once seen you complain -- likely to earn the trust of those around you, but in any sense, it is a telling self-restriction.

as the man sighs, the sun raises a hazy glare over his face. yashiori island is humid in the early summer months, taking on warmer traits while still retaining its cold winds that come in from the northwest watatsumi islands. kazuha leaps down carefully from the winding tree he sits on.

the breeze softens the rough edges of his mind as he walks back into the camp. the day is about to begin, and however ready he may be to face the tribulations, the refreshing air of the morning did not do as much for him as he had hoped.

“kazuha. i will always be with you, but i can’t just pick up and leave!”

the conversation kazuha has turned over in his head time and time again suddenly comes back to him. his lips twist slightly.

“why not?!” kazuha gestured his hand, shaking his head. there were too many things he needed to say, too many things he couldn’t find the words to share. his heart was blurry as a small but desperate sound left his lips. “what if i lo-“

he cut himself off with a grunt.

times have changed. looking at you, there is no doubt in his mind of this. yet whenever your sad gaze appears in his mind’s eye once more, gently spoken words tickle his ears as he recalls patching up your jacket. internally, kazuha wants nothing more than to know you again. if kazuha had loved you once, he thought it only natural to miss your companionship, but your closed-off demeanour had confused him short.

it seemed as if you wanted nothing to do with him, leaving the duty of starting most interactions to him. kazuha had hoped the nerves would die off with time, and though it is true that you have adjusted since you arrived, you are still somewhat stiff with him.

yet, when he noticed your scattered attempts to hide the emblem stitched on the shoulders, despite his better judgement, he had approached you at that point wanting to help. even if it meant he didn’t know what to expect of you.

to see his dear friend so easily break down in front of him, it foolishly gave him hope that you were thinking nothing different; because even as it hurt him, kazuha could not let go of the visage of you he remembered so well.

“would it not be romantically irresponsible of me to forgo acknowledging the scenery with a poem or two?”

gorou had thrown him a look of disbelief from beside him that day, lips curling up into a crooked smile that displayed his canines.

“it’s romantically irresponsible of you to not do a lot of things these days.”

kazuha hummed. the sea breeze took his bangs lightly, curling them against the salty touch of his skin. gorou is not only the leader he follows, but also a dear friend. consequently, the faulty skirmishes between the two of you on the battlefield did not go unnoticed to his trained eye.

“perhaps. though i am at least able to take care of this.”

the words carry a heavy meaning that has gorou slouching over with a groan.

“perhaps, you should take a break. i know every inch and crevice in inazuma reminds you of her, and i don’t think exposure therapy is a very good method for a poet such as yourself.”

a smile tugged at something inside of him.

“perhaps.”

he had departed from inazuma on gorou’s suggestion not only for the opportunity to travel amongst the crew of the alcor once again, but also to get away from the rolling hills that reminded him of nothing but the person he had abandoned. yet, upon kazuha’s eventual return, he had come to the very thing he had been avoiding. you had spit venom just as anyone would expect you to, and though he appreciated your defensiveness, it hurt to see.

not a day goes by where he doesn’t wonder what life would be like if he had taken the time to talk you down. so, kazuha had gone years of his life thinking that the raiden shogun had taken two of his dear friends’ lives that night. but as time went on, he began to realise that may not be true.

that afternoon, he comes upon you training alone. it’s not an uncommon sight, to see you doing something on your own -- eating, practicing with your polearm, even mere relaxation are activities little people will join you in. occasionally, there is a certain golden-eyed soldier that will bite the bullet and accompany you, though he has been noticeably restricted to a sickbed for the past few days.

“how are you faring doing such a thing alone?”

the words drop from his mouth as you pull back your polearm from the training dummy, stance inviting him to take another step forward.

“quite well, thank you.”

kazuha’s eyes draw to the weapon in your hand, the spear you obviously haven’t even considered parting with since your arrival. he recognises the carvings without even thinking about it, the pattern of the shallow lines familiar to his own hand. he had carved the weapon out of impulse, the face that you still hang onto it keeps him hopeful.

he gestures with a nod. “i wasn’t aware you still carried that around.”

you look over at the weapon that stands in the dirt, and back up at him. something in your gaze seems slightly cornered, though he’s relieved when you nod.

“of course, it’s a good weapon.” you say, tossing it up slightly to catch it in the air. your gaze goes to the same carvings that still catch his attention, and the corner of your lips quirk up with the shadow of a smile. “you’ll have to see sometime, i’ve gotten a lot better since we last met.”

kazuha quirks a brow. his sword is already sheathed neatly on his waist, ready to be drawn just as it always is.

“perhaps you’d like to try now, then?”

“...sorry?”

he nods, experimentally drawing his sword — you take a step back with surprised eyes. but, once you’ve understood his angle, you let yourself lean forward again with a small smile of relief.

“you sure? i won’t console you when you lose like i did back then.” shy laughter peeks through your words, and it delights him.

“there will be no need.”

though your weapons of choice differ, you have no trouble keeping up with his strikes. if anything, kazuha first thinks to commend you even if you do fall short -- between the two of you, you are the one at a disadvantage. over time, more techniques are noticeably rushed or backed by hesitance. and while it could be a mere product of using spear on sword, he can’t help feel as though it’s more than that.

“what you said that night to general gorou,” the sudden close clash of metal on metal allows him to catch your attention. “did you mean it?”

pushing back as best you can, your brows furrow. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“it was always clear where my alliances were to some.” kazuha recounts the words you’d said the night you first arrived, noting the way your face pales. perhaps you assumed he had forgotten.

“…and?” you thrust your weapon forward in an attempt to throw him off balance, but much to his surprise, you succeed. kazuha’s eyes widen as he takes a step backwards. sword reflexively faltering, he mistakenly gives you ample room to close the already small distance between you.

he offers you an impressed smile as you come within an inch of him, the sharp edge of your polearm just barely grazing the skin of his neck.

“what would you say if it were true?”

your brown eyes search his, devoid of anything but curiosity. a familiar flutter beats to life in kazuha’s chest, and knowing who it reaches for, he does not think to quench the crushing sensation. despite his best efforts to avoid the realisation, you have, at this point, certainly crawled into his heart once more.

letting out an unstable breath, his lips curl into a smile that is a beat too late, “...i would ask why you didn’t say it sooner.”

wiping a sheen of sweat from your forehead, you can’t help but groan to yourself. the sun works overtime on your exhausted body, as if administering a more physical punishment for the words you’d said to kazuha.

you’ve always been the type to get in over your head easily — though so far, your embarrassing jabs to him have only seemed to put him in a strangely good mood.

you thought you had finally figured him out, only for him to turn around and shatter your expectations like nothing. it’s like you’re children again, dancing around the notion of one another and waiting for a whisper of change.

but his friendlier demeanour is of no consequence to you. so, foolishly, you have accepted it — because if keeping him closer ends in him choosing revenge, then so be it. it is not a possibility you think to dwell on now.

attempting to push the thoughts from your head long enough to fend off the flush that haunts your cheeks, you finally set your spear over your back. kazuha himself had departed long ago after your short skirmish. he had spoken of other duties to handle with the tell-tale ghost of a smile on his face.

even now, he never ceases to be mysterious.

as you walk through the camp, you hope your frazzled state is hidden enough. not that anyone would say anything if it weren’t — your hair could suddenly go up in flames and you would garner nothing more than a silent glance. though, at this moment, it is a blessing. were someone to look too hard, you fear they might be able to see right through you.

you have never regarded your cot as anything but uncomfortable, but the moment you finally reach your tent, it is akin to a cloud in your eyes. falling face first, the uneven mattress bunches around you. and for once, it seems to hug you in all the places you need it to.

it has been a long few weeks since you took up shelter at fort fujito -- and while the absence of kujou sara’s plan is worrying, you are content in the way that you have begun to not doubt your place. rather than waiting for the odd looks to cease, you have learned to shoulder them, hanging onto the presence of kazuha by your side.

the sunlight filters weakly through the tent, lying a peaceful hue over your body as you let yourself drift off. however, you wake abruptly to a cooler tone and uncharacteristic rowdiness somewhere outside. it at first rouses irritation, but it quickly settles into curiosity. what could they be so excited about all of the sudden?

“you’re awake?”

you startle easy in your drowsy state, raising an arm to fend against the sudden source of noise

kazuha gives you a pleasant smile as he lets the tent flap drop behind him, quietly ducking to kneel beside you. there are days where he could walk laps around you without you knowing, and it’s certainly quite a talent. the anemo user is quick with not only words, but also actions.

you attempt a smile in return, though your sludge-like reaction time cannot be held back enough to keep from wincing at the sudden shouts.

“what’s going on?” you ask, hands coming up idly to cover your ears. kazuha casts a glance over his shoulder, but when he looks back to you, the fiery look in his eyes is barely recognisable.

“the sangonomiyan priestess arrived on the island not long ago.” kazuha nods, expression sly. “perhaps she has something to share?”

after a moment of pondering, you sit up abruptly as the meaning of his words reach you. eyes widening, you barely avoid stuttering in shock. “you don’t mean--?”

he shrugs. “truthfully, i don’t mean anything concrete. my lady is not a very particular person, her visit could be one made on mere impulse.”

a heavy spark runs through your chest at the proclamation. but, believing it to be plain uncertainty over anything else, you simply push down the sour feeling with a shrug.

“…my lady? is that referring to sangonomiya kokomi?”

kazuha nods, bunching his hands in the edge of the blanket that covers you. “it is. she has always preferred to go by this title, though i presume it was not her idea originally.”

you prod him on with the slight quirk of your brow.

“general gorou,” he explains. “the first i heard of the nickname, it was from his mouth. i only followed suit as everyone else did.”

the immense relief you receive from his reasoning is concerning.

a shadow appears at your tent before you can respond, tapping on the thick fabric in silent warning. you and kazuha share a look before you address the figure.

“please come in.”

when the curtain is pulled away, you are taken aback. it has been a long time since you’ve seen sangonomiya kokomi in person, but it is now that you’re reminded why the people of her island regard her as a deity. she embodies the land and the sky, eyes like the ocean and manners like the wind.

the formidable strategist offers you an amicable smile. she says your name, and your ears burn in embarrassment. your eyelids are still heavy and your hair shows obvious signs of sleep, yet meanwhile, her clothes are laid flawlessly, and the air around her is peaceful.

“greetings.”

you smile awkwardly, but kazuha’s silent nudge adds a darker tinge of red to your ears. kokomi’s expression is patient as you stand up.

“hello,” you bow your head slightly. “it’s nice to see you in.. different circumstances.”

the last time you’d interacted had been on the battlefield, in a much different light. however, this doesn’t seem to hold any water. much to your relief, she takes no offence to your unorthodox conversation starter. she even laughs, the sound sweet and clear.

“yes, it is quite nice to meet you here.” kokomi’s eyes travel between the two of you almost calculatingly, but she doesn’t linger. “i trust you’ve found a home with the resistance?”

kazuha’s head dips, and her implication also sends a rush of red to your cheeks.

for sake of professionality, you clear your throat and squeak out, “something like that.”

a passive smile graces her features as he turns to take a peek over her shoulder, presumably through the gap in the tent.

“general,” your throat is dry as you address her, though she provides you with her full attention. “i assume… that you aren’t just here to say hello?”

“you are as adept as i remember. that i am not, but please do not worry. i am not retrieving you to deliver bad news.”

she shares a glance with kazuha, who still kneels next to the cot behind you. “on the contrary, i’m sure you will be quite delighted.”

you’re silent as you walk beside kazuha to a more central part of the camp, bubbling with apprehension. he steadies you with a hand to your shoulder as you walk.

“you know,” he starts, shrugging slightly. “you shouldn’t worry. there is very little good news it could be when in accordance to you.”

you know he’s right — there’s no reason for your anxieties. yet still, whatever this woman says is as good as fact to the soldiers that reside here. her words will determine what track your life follows from now on, and it’s an awfully big responsibility to pin on someone other than yourself.

you just laugh. “i appreciate the harsh honesty.”

“my comrades,”

kokomi is resilient as she stands before a crowd, posture straight and smile warm. if humans really are predestined to live out a certain fate, surely she had a role such as this coming. you attempt to rub the sleep from your eyes as she begins.

“it is wonderful to see you all in good health, your work at the front and on has paid back well. we gain advances across the beaches with each passing day, and this is only thanks to your marvelous execution.”

the resistance members quickly follow suit as she claps delicately. assorted cheers are thrown up from the crowd, and you don’t miss the smile that pokes at kazuha’s lips.

“recently, we have caught wind of those outside of our forces that are looking to support us.”

you can almost feel yourself perking up. kazuha is also noticeably attentive beside you.

“ i have chosen to accept this offer.” she voices her decision, and your stomach drops all the same. her sanguine eyes look for yours amongst the dense crowd as if to reassure. “but do not misunderstand me. these weapons are not to be used, but studied.”

“a trusted informant that has recently joined us has ruled these weapons as corroding -- a way to wipe out our hard-working forces from the inside. hence your warning: there will be an influx of equipment being transported within the next few weeks. please pay no mind to it, as well as touch it without proper equipment.”

a soft murmur runs through the crowd, yet all you can do is sigh in relief. you raise a hand to cover your mouth.

“thank god.” you whisper, head dipping with a sigh. “i was starting to worry that people would start trying to call my bluff.”

kazuha bumps your shoulder with his, smile evident in his voice. “i’m very rarely wrong.”

even with your years as a shogunate general, the concept of battle still baffles you. it is an unpredictable mess of people that oppose each other, fueled by hatred and obligation that may not even be their own. the pressure of leading people into such an environment is a gamble, though you have at least gotten good at that -- for weeks, you sit around a table with sangonomiya kokomi, inspecting and noting every detail on each weapon sent to you.

the tedious work is beyond your normal skillset, so to say.

“they’re duller,” kazuha says this from beside you, eyes trailing up to where kokomi sits across from you. he had volunteered to help quite easily, immediately after you had promised to devote your time to the priestess’ affairs. but that had been almost one week ago, and you with each passing moment, you fear that he is getting more bored -- and yet, his careful eyes have distinguished a surprising amount of discoveries.

it warms your chest with something familiar, something that you don’t want to let go of.

it goes ablaze as kazuha shoots a small smile in your direction. kokomi is doing similar inspections across the table, hidden behind a tiny set of glasses as to study the finer details of the bow in her hands. the silence prompts him to continue.

“at the end, they aren’t a point, just a little under that, but noticeable enough.”

she nods along slowly. kokomi doesn’t answer him for a few moments, but when she sets down the weapon and takes off her glasses, she seems to have finally come to a conclusion.

“there is not much of a physical difference between these weapons and a normal one,” kokomi notes, a gloved hand reaching to pick up a normal weapon from beside her. she lines them up on the table as her gaze passes amongst them. “though kazuha has so far been right, these are merely manufacturing differences. the only way to truly distinguish the two kinds of weapons thus far has been through elemental aura.”

“the ones with delusions embedded in them have an undeniably different energy compared to those made of simple materials. to recreate these, i suppose we would need to embed them with some kind of elemental power.”

your brows furrow as a helpless breath escapes you.

“...and how would we be able to do such a thing?”

kokomi’s lips thin in concentration.

“I suppose…” her voice is light, contemplative. “we will likely have to embed some with power, likely from a vision holder.”

as you stand on the edge of a battlefield now, you know you are likely not cut out for her plan. there is a small sum of vision holders that reside in the resistance’s camp, and the average soldiers far outnumber any of you -- yet together, you, kazuha, gorou, and kokomi had been marked solely responsible for keeping the weapons constantly wrapped in elemental energy.

it was a necessary step, a precaution to hide your knowledge. because the moment kujou sara notices anything is amiss, she will surely twist it in her favour.

but you will personally see to it that she never does.

taking a quick look ahead of you at the soldiers that charge into the fray, you note the striking presence of their blades. hopefully, you’re able to avoid strain so the aura doesn’t waver.

gorou had greatly appreciated you offering to lead half of his men, effectively slicing the amount of work he needed to keep up with in half. but, it also required great effort to debate the spread of your efforts out further -- this battle is merely a ruse to convince kujou sara that her plan is working, so hopefully, no great strategy will be necessary.

“heads up!” a rough yet distinctly female voice comes from over your head, making you lift your eyes skyward. a grinning woman is hanging loosely by kazuha’s hands, who, judging by the swirl of maple leaves around him, is gliding with the strength of his vision. you smile as the woman plunges down by her claymore onto a group of shogunate soldiers.

kazuha lands unsteadily next to you, reaching out to you for support as his glider folds in. you catch him with a laugh..

“that’s beidou,” he begins, leaning onto your shoulder as he mirrors your smile. “she’s a good friend from liyue who insisted on helping.”

“the more help, the better!” you say, hand latching onto his waist to keep him upright. he stiffens for a moment, though the sensation is gone as quick as it had come -- rather, he seems to sink into your touch afterwards. it makes your cheeks blaze with a temperature you fully intend to blame on the anticipation of battle.

kazuha keeps his gaze on the conflict in front of you, on the weapons in the soldiers’ hands that swirl with your elements. perhaps you have been too focused on worrying about how other people see you to notice how kazuha sees you; even now, he is leaning onto you without a thought, and it strikes something inside of you to realise it.

there is no going back to the time you both left behind. though perhaps you’re capable of creating a better future together.

after kazuha catches his breath, he slips away from you with the thoughtful promise to be careful. it almost hurts to see him go. but, pinning it on turbulent emotions, you too set off in search of someone to assist.

you make your way to the front without even trying, rushing past each small skirmish in an attempt to be certain you’re holding up the hydro in the weapons well enough. even if your strength is wavering, your conviction is not.

every weapon remains in stable condition.

there’s no time to pat yourself on the back, though. because as you arrive in the front, you come face to face with just the person you’ve been avoiding. kujou sara’s eyes glint with the same concentrated sheen she always dons during combat.

she hasn’t seemed to notice you yet, and though you have an ample window to escape, you hesitate just a second too long. when she throws out her arm to command a flank, her gaze lands directly on you.

a frightening mix of rage and curiosity twists her features as she draws her bow. your eyes widen.

“kujou sara!” you shout with the dormant voice of a general, taking a step back. “do not make any rash decisions!”

you are in no place to order her around anymore, but you pray that she sees her old friend in you and grants you mercy. she does slowly lower her bow, but the contemplative look that runs through her eyes makes you doubt her intentions.

“you dare to show your face around me?” she challenges, taking powerful strides forward until she is nearly within touching distance. her bow is still tight in her hand.

“sara, what are you doing?” your brows furrow, she does not react. “are you really going to hurt me? you know what kind of person I am, i never could have stood going through with the things you were planning.”

her lips thin in contempt.

“yet you’re still here.” she nods, grip loosening on her bow enough for her to let out a sigh. “you still let your so-called comrades use the very weapons you threw away your life to protect them from.”

she believes it.

feigning a frown, you try to mimic hurt in your expression when in reality, you are over the moon.

“don’t — don’t pin such a thing on me. you know how desperate they are to gain the upper hand, there was no way for me to convince them of their danger.” eyes downcast, you swallow what you hope seems like a harsh lump in your throat. it takes everything you have to fight back a smile and keep the elemental energy centred at once.

kujou sara’s lips morph into a slight smirk, likely a jab at your suddenly disappointed composure.

“it has been a mere few months, but you have grown incompetent quickly.” the words are backed by bitterness, though you don’t think to pay any attention to it until she draws her bow. real fear runs through your veins as she draws it back, gritting her teeth.

“the shogun wants you alive, but you do not deserve even that.”

eyes widening, you attempt to draw your polearm — but by the time you reach back to draw the weapon, she will likely already have let the bowstring go. body stuttering, you throw your arms over your face in a last ditch attempt to protect yourself.

you hear the bowstring, and for the first time in a long while, you are terrified.

had she not believed you after all? had she harboured such a hatred for you because you had abandoned the shogun? there is no telling what kujou sara truly feels in the time you have left.

but your end never comes.

a sharp noise and flash of red comes to your aid. as you slowly lower your shaking hands, you are staring at the wide expanse of a back, belonging to the person who had drawn his sword to protect you. he holds it against his chest, blade steaming from the impact of the arrow’s tip.

kujou sara laughs. it is a wretched sound, a defeated sound.

“of course, it’s you.”

kazuha cracks a challenging smile. “my reputation seems to precede me.”

most likely not wanting to deal with the repercussions of strength in numbers, she draws back with the wanton shake of her head.

“we will meet again, ___. mark my words.”

with one last conflicting look in your direction, kujou sara turns her back and busies herself with another section of her army. ever the professional, it seems.

once she is out of view, kazuha immediately turns around to tend to you. his hands hover over you as his eyes search.

“i got here in time, right? you’re not hurt?” you’re about to answer before he takes your wrist, turning over and inspecting one of the arms you’d held up.

you can’t help but laugh at him, a giggle building up quickly in your chest. his eyes meet yours as it spills out, relieved.

“kazuha,” as your laugh draws out, you take his wrist in return. a startled flush paints his pale skin. “she believed me. she thinks the weapons are real.”

once your words register, he beams.

as soon as you’ve relayed the information to gorou, he wastes no time in pulling back the army into a retreat. there is a familiar and unmistakable happiness buzzing beneath his loud commands, and it gives the soldiers that know him well comfort.

as the day begins to decline, you retreat back to the resistance camp high on the feeling of undeniable success. not only is each soldier and strategist and general coming home alive, but you have also fulfilled the tedious plan of convincing the shogunate of your failure to stop the delusions from slipping through.

someone bumps your shoulder suddenly, and you look up to meet kazuha’s smiling eyes.

“you did it,” as kazuha laughs, a foreign emotion passes through his eyes. it delights you. “i’m proud of you, you’ve certainly come far.”

but along with your successes comes an even greater gain.

the resistance camp is a place where people tend to come and go, whether soldier, refugee, or even a special case such as yourself, the beaten dirt paths see many faces over time. but, while normally in passing, tonight it is unusually lively. cheers fill the small area, lighting up the normally sodden atmosphere with a spark of life.

it is a pleasantly warm night on yashori island, a comfortable temperature that reaches the deepest parts of you. the torches are also lit brightly around the drifting crowd, casting a haze that covers the impending night chill effortlessly.

as you take casual steps through the camp, you attempt searching for a familiar face. kazuha had been separated from you very quickly since you’d arrived, entertaining the wishes of a few soldiers he seemed to be acquainted with. he shot you an apologetic smile as he allowed himself to be dragged away, though truly, it was of no consequence.

despite the aloof attitude he carries, kazuha is undeniably quite popular among the younger members of the resistance.

but the appearances of everyone unfamiliar quickly blends together, making it impossible to determine whether the people you pass by are the same from earlier. kokomi had certainly outdone herself with the impromptu celebration, getting a bottle of beer into everyone’s grasp and leaving them for a night of relaxation -- an ample opportunity to boost morale, so to say.

yet just as you attempt to locate your friend again, you’re suddenly distracted by a hand on your arm. when you startle, gorou pulls back with quick remorse, even if the excited look in his eyes does not dissipate. the smile you give him is one you can’t help.

“___, come with me. quickly!” he pulls you around the crowd, and with one last look back in kazuha’s direction, you let your feet follow along, you are less thrilled when he gathers everyone’s attention.

“fellow soldiers and comrades!” gorou’s voice silences the roaring camp almost completely, bringing a frightfully aware flush to the tips of your ears. surely he doesn’t mean to congratulate you?

“we are here today thanks to the person who came forward even when she knew no one would believe her. her information has not only given us the upper hand, but also driven a serious blow into the tenryou forces!”

of course he means to congratulate you.

a surprising amount of cheers leave the dense crowd, some reluctant, some willing -- yet the one that stands out the most is kazuha, cheering with the same group of boys that had snatched him up earlier.

your heart constricts. it is a gesture you want to welcome with open arms, but there is a bitter feeling that ferments with worry in your gut. you had always been a bit of a pessimist, expecting the worst even if you yearned for the best — and you know well now that you can’t expect it from everything.

but there is something about kazuha’s behaviour that feels rushed; sudden and nearly unprompted. he had gone from carefully skirting around you to remaining by your side in all things he could, even when you had done nothing to warrant it.

it was something you had noticed beforehand, the shifting of his reactions — you’d held your polearm over his neck, for archon’s sake, and he had simply smiled at you.

forcing up your precarious smile once again, you wave gratefully to the crowd, to sedate their curiosity if nothing else. feeling appreciated and a tad reminiscent of the growth you’d undergone, you nod your sincere thanks to gorou. despite the compromising position, it was clearly a thoughtful effort.

when kazuha is in your line of sight again, your chest constricts. he has done nothing wrong and yet, you have thought to place a sudden distrust in him. it makes you no better than your worries.

“kazuha--!” you raise a hand, and you gain his attention fairly quickly. yet, yours is quickly snatched away as someone else calls your name. an unfamiliar face greets you jovially, speaking of their apologies and thanks to you for helping the resistance. the thought is touching, but, all you find yourself doing is nodding along as you shoot kazuha a regretful smile over their shoulder.

much to your displeasure, he waves you off, mouthing something so distinct you can’t help but shake your head.

enjoy yourself.

you bite the inside of your cheek as you thank the soldier in return, waving them goodbye just as another thinks to approach you.

how am i supposed to enjoy myself when the only thing i want to do is talk to you?

your heart constricts once again, but this time, it is for an entirely different reason.

countless people come up to you with their thanks, congratulations, and a few even attempt to pass along extra rations to your hand. through all of it, the person you want most to see busies himself patiently. you fight back a frown, though, and let yourself talk to the people that are now your comrades -- even if you’d had a rough start, it is never too late to pick yourself back up.

and that much is true over the next quarter hour. you spend every moment making conversation with people who had barely regarded you before, all the while keeping your gaze expertly averted from kazuha. one look and you know you’d excuse yourself regardless of the topic, and the acknowledgement of such a fact hurts.

you’d allowed yourself to care too much for him; what if his sudden attitude flip does turn out to hold malicious intent?

yet, despite such a possibility, kazuha has always been nothing short of kind, considering your wants and needs as if they were his own. he is calm and patient when regarding you, looking at you not as you remember, but in a way that you hope he will continue to -- it reminds you that you aren’t a child anymore, that times have long changed.

your heart pumps a telling beat as you recall some of his nicer deeds. kazuha truly has a heart that looks out for others, evident in even the man’s smallest gestures. when you had begun to get used to each other’s presence, he had recommended you personally as an addition to the resistance’s reconnaissance team, noting your professional skills.

occasionally, he is found wandering around the island, ducking between cave systems only to come back at the end of the day with numerous resources; those of which he usually kindly distributes to the camp. on one of those same nights, he had taught you how to roast lavender melons over the fire.

the memory of his hands over yours sets your cheeks ablaze.

reasonably, it makes no sense that he would have any contempt for you. or at least, it would certainly be an issue at such a point.

despite your hesitance, the moment you have a free hand, you dip away. if anyone attempts to stop you, you breeze past them, unaware. kazuha had hardly moved from the small circle of people he’d been cheering with, making it exceptionally easy to find him in the crowd. as soon as he sees you approaching, he breaks away and meets you halfway.

“there’s our little celebrity,” kazuha croons, a slow smile spreading across his lips as you laugh bashfully. “having fun without me?”

“of course,” your gaze shifts away from him shyly, and he notes the action as you shake your head. “but, anyways, can i… maybe steal you for a second? there’s somewhere i want to go with you.”

kazuha nods, falling into step beside you as you walk out of the wooden gate. “of course, is there an issue that’s come up?”

“no, nothing like that. it’s just…” you recount your thoughts with a wry smile. “i found a place a while ago, and i want to go there again.”

he follows you in silent understanding. you’re grateful he doesn’t ask questions, because you doubt you could answer any of them without him seeing straight through your resolve. the trek is by no means a difficult one. but, as you walk down the winding dirt path and over the weeds that flourish, kazuha holds your hand steady. it’s the small gestures.

at the foot of the hill the camp rests on is a small strip of beach, that of which faces almost directly north. the sunset paints the scene a gorgeous hue between orange and pink as the sun hangs low over the horizon. the atmosphere is warm, and the low tide nips at the sand.

you both settle down onto the rocks above the waves before you say, “you’ve probably been there a thousand times, right?”

he agrees. “but, it’s the first time i’ve been here with you.”

you nod with flushed cheeks, stretching your legs out and staring out ahead of you. if you look hard enough, you can see the outline of liyue harbour in the distance, far away yet still so close. with a heavy feeling in your chest, you realise that’s just how you’re treating the man sitting beside you.

“you know, i’ve been here before,” you begin, eyes trailing down to meet where your hands lay over your knees. “when i was with the shogunate, i had to scope out this area a lot.”

“we were that close, hm?” he hums, and the light tone sends a grimace to your face

“kazuha…” finally, you look up at him, smile apologetic. he meets your gaze with a confused stare. “ i think… i mean, i just think that it’s finally time for us to talk.”

he blinks for a few moments, before turning away, looking at the horizon with contemplative eyes.

“i suppose it is.”

you take a long breath, brows pinched slightly in apprehension.

“...when i first started working with the shogunate, despite the fact that i had said some horrible things to you, i was happy.” you admit, shrugging. kazuha watches the waves on the horizon as you speak, his averted gaze polite.

“i was so grateful to be there, and i thought that i had found what i would be doing for the rest of my life. but, not a single person had a connection to someone in the resistance. they couldn’t accurately choose what to do because they didn’t know the full story like i did.”

you sigh, voice going quiet. “and it was suffocating. i tried to fight for things that weren’t cruel. yet, I was ridiculed behind my back for having a connection to you in return. they said… they said that the only good choice i’d ever made was leaving you behind that night.”

“___…” a hand goes on your shoulder as the first tear falls.

“i tried so hard to ignore it.” you cry, wiping the back of your hand over your eyes. “but, even as i climbed the ranks, people still hated me for it.”

kazuha puts an arm around your back, rubbing soothing circles into your hip. he is hesitantly silent as your body wracks with tears, and it goes on like that for what seems like hours -- unconcrete words of comfort pass from his lips to you, though he has yet to say anything more.

“...did you ever believe that you had made the right choice? letting me go that night?” he finally whispers. your lip curls as another onslaught of tears attempts to break forth. adamantly, you shake your head.

“never.”

your gazes meet briefly, and the look of surprise that passes over his face at the sight of you is startling. you must be a pitiful visage, eyes red and skin puffy with regret.

“oh, ___…” he chastises you with a mumble, free hand coming up to thumb your tears away. you close your eyes shamefully. “i’m sorry.”

“...you told me back then in the tent that there was no need to apologise, why?” you slowly open your eyes again to meet his, brows dipping with your frown. “i want to apologise, because i made a mistake. kazuha, i wanted with everything in me to say yes. but i made the stupid decision of betting on an uncertain future rather than someone i know would never let me down.”

something in his composure shifts in that moment,

“that day… i should have done more. i’m sorry for saying things i didn’t mean, and i’m so sorry for prioritising my future over your friend’s life.” your head falls, but kazuha’s hand slides to pick you back up again, just as he always has. he makes you look him in the eye, his gaze searching through yours.

at last, he asks, “is that how you see it…?”

“you were only a soldier, forced to see the effects of his choice.” kazuha’s tone is soft as he shakes his head. “there was nothing you could have possibly done without incurring the wrath of the shogun. even then, you did what you could to let me escape. you chose what you thought was best, and i would never fault you for that.”

“i could have at least tried to hear you out…”

“you could’ve.” he nods. “but your stress was the reason for your harsh words, and i am not one to hold such grudges. you were going through things i couldn’t possibly understand.”

kazuha’s hand doesn’t falter under your chin as he smiles. “do not fault yourself any longer. you have expressed your apologies, and that is enough.”

you can’t help but smile through your tears, a small laugh escaping your throat. all these years, and you were just going to forgive me when i cry?

his intent towards you is nearly crystal clear, but a curious inkling still remains in your chest, begging to be set free.

“kazuha,” your eyes leave his, lifting in what he can only pin as nerves. “could i ask you something?”

when he nods, there is a certain look that passes through his eyes. you have seen it many times before — in the way he looks at inazuma’s many colours of the sunrise, or how his eyes glaze over with rapt attention when penning a poem.

it’s the very same way he gazes at things that catch his attention, at things he deems beautiful. but, it is different when it is directed at you.

“when i first came to the resistance camp, you seemed… unsure.” you start, brows pinching as he watches you with slight amusement. “that changed kind of suddenly, so i was just wondering, did something happen?”

“well,” he clears his throat, dropping his hand from your chin to cover his mouth. the arm he lays around your hip still remains. “to put it simply, i had never changed. you merely brought out the parts of me that had remained hidden for a long while.”

“___, meeting you again, it—“

“yo!”

startled, you both turn back to the source of the sudden call. gorou stands impatiently at the foot of the hill, one hand on his hip and the other waving you towards him.

“we’ve been looking for both of you!” he shouts, but even from a distance, you recognise the knowing gaze that lands on kazuha’s arm around your waist.

they share a brief glance, and realising what gorou must be thinking, you push kazuha away gently and stumble to your feet. “sorry, coming!”

there is no reason to be embarrassed -- it’s likely that most people are aware of your circumstances by now, yet you can’t help how aware you are of his contact. it is romantic in the same way that he wears his friend’s dead vision along with his own, in how his thoughts consider everything around him. he touches you easily, as if he’d never forgotten a single dip in your body.

with a laugh of friendly disbelief, kazuha allows you to stand.

you had thought that the beginning of the celebration was the worst, filled with those either half-drunk or looking to speak to you -- neither of which sound particularly fun to deal with. yet, even in the short time you’d managed to slip away, the crowd had somehow managed to become an unsavoury mix of both. perhaps it was only alcohol that could provide the confidence to give you pats on the back as you walked by.

there is an incomplete feeling in your chest, one that you do not dare to dwell on. it yearns for the very thing that you don’t want to get involved with, that you don’t want to risk changing the nature of -- kazuha had only just accepted your apologies, and empathetically, at that. so, for such feelings to flare up so quickly afterwards, it is cruelly timed.

pulling your collar slightly loose to beat the flush that creeps up your neck, your heart drops as someone catches your gaze. amongst the dense crowd, kazuha looks at only you, smiling as if the two of you share a secret. you shake your head with a small grin.

in a way, you suppose you do.

as the rest of the night passes, the long minutes are filled with merry conversation and even more drinking, which you frankly hadn’t thought possible. yet, despite the headache it causes, you cannot deny the contagious joy it passes on. you truly do feel the effects of victory by the time you are dipping into your tent for the night.

your thoughts bubble ever so slightly, thanks to the alcohol that has been passed to your hand -- while not enough to debilitate you, it is certainly enough to place a content buzz in your chest. you take a short peek outside before tying the strings of your tent shut for the night. the camp is finally quiet, deserted of all activity in favour of the night’s rest.

with a drawling smile, you knot the fabric shut and fall back onto the cot. it is no mystery to you any longer why these soldiers do what they do, and why the resistance’s forces are hardly seen giving up. opening your eyes once again, a quiet, bubbling laugh escapes your chest.

you are at last fighting for a side you can be proud of.

but, you are awoken all-too suddenly. a hand reaches for your shoulder with none of its familiar grace, shaking you awake fervently. startled, your eyes fly open to meet the crimson gaze of your trusted companion, that of which is panicked and rushed. dread seizes your veins as he pulls you up, hardly considering your processing state.

above anything else, it is kazuha’s careless gestures that tell you something is wrong.

“kazuha!” your hushed whispers seem to barely reach him as he pulls you forward. as your eyes adjust, you see the majority of familiar faces rushing around in a similar way, to exits, to the hills in the north -- some even retreat further into camp. yet, one thing all of these people seem to have in common is that they are running, and they are running from something that is near.

his hand tightens around yours as he stops suddenly, gauging his chances between the actions of others.

desperately, you step forward and shake him. voice quiet, you ask, “kazuha, what’s going on?”

he looks at you from the corner of his eye, lips moulding into a frown.

“it’s the shogunate, they’ve stormed the camp.” the words that leave his mouth are shocking, but they do not particularly surprise you. your brows pinch in distress, but kazuha notices this, squeezing your hand before making a break for it. there is no time to hesitate. you run alongside him in silent understanding -- whatever kujou sara has come for, it can’t be good for either of you.

taking the same path you’d traversed earlier in the night, you aren’t thrilled to find it empty.

inhaling a sharp breath, you dig your heels into the sand in an effort to stop kazuha. he whips around questioningly, but yields when seeing your apprehensive expression. “what is it?”

face wrinkling with worry, you frown. “we need to be careful, there must be a reason why this path is deserted.”

“we don’t have any other choice--”

“that, you do not.”

another voice interrupts you, and you have to resist closing your eyes in defeat. the telltale appearance of the tengu warrior is more than enough to seal your fate. you’d escaped her once, and you doubt it can be done again.

kujou sara sneers, an awful sound that tells you everything you need to know. it was too soon to celebrate your victory against such a person.

“i was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt earlier, ___. but, you lied to me.” when she takes a threatening step forward, kazuha puts an arm across you. frowning, she ignores it. “not only did you think you could trick me by faking the fatui’s weapons, but you thought that you could trick the raiden shogun. this was your final mistake.”

kujou sara draws her bow before you can even process her actions. “i told you that i would come back for you. and i am here to deliver the news that you are no longer a deserter, but a traitor. consorting with the enemy and conspiring against those you ally with is not something that the shogun will stand for.”

she takes a decisive breath. “and i will not either.”

she lets go of the bowstring without remorse, the surety of the arrow cutting through the air.

you know immediately what will happen, but you are too slow to stop kazuha from stepping further in front of you. horror dons your features as the arrow pierces his upper chest, his body mindlessly protecting yours without even a word. kazuha stumbles before you with a reassuring smile still on his lips, head shaking as if to tell you he is okay.

but the grey fabric of his shirt quickly stains a gruesome red, suggesting otherwise. as kazuha drops to a knee in front of you, there is a gut-wrenching grunt that leaves his mouth. your mouth drops open in panic. it is one thing to see him walking away from you, but death is not so temporary -- if you let him slip from your grasp this time around, you will get no second chances.

swallowing thickly, a sheen goes over your vision as his hand reaches up to grasp yours. perhaps it is meant to be a comfort for both of you, but rather, it serves as a reminder. kazuha is the only person who had stayed with you continuously, regardless of how you saw each other.

his saccharine smile appears in your memory once more, and foolishly, you let yourself believe that you will see it again. you may not deserve it, but kazuha is someone that you cherish, and will not leave behind.

something sweet begins to bloom in your chest at that moment, and you release a breathless laugh of disbelief. kazuha has certainly never made things easy for you, though he is, at the very least, talented in unearthing your true thoughts.

as your lips thin, the reluctant notion goes through your head -- you are in love with kaedehara kazuha, and you cannot lose him again.

carefully, you help him fully to the ground, unaware of the hot tears that prick your vision.

“please,” you cry, messily shrugging off your jacket to wrap around the arrow that has pierced his skin. it’s the very same he had taped over when you’d first arrived, though it serves a much darker purpose now. there is nothing to secure it with but your shaking hands, though even they will become shortly useless. kujou sara’s presence is overwhelming. amidst the tears you shed and kazuha’s shallow pants, she is stone-faced.

“please,” you repeat shakily, a careful hand cupping his cheek. “stay calm, i can help you. we can do this.”

stiffly, he nods, and your chest tightens.

you shoot a furious look up at kujou sara, though you refuse to take your eyes off of kazuha for a moment longer than necessary. “he has nothing to do with this!”

there is a tinge of recognisable regret in her expression, though she attempts to hide it with the stern set line of her mouth.

looking away, she huffs slightly. the soldiers behind her ruffle at the sudden show of displeasure. “it was his own choice to shoulder the blow, not mine.”

expression twisting in anger, you attempt to stand — to pay sara her dues, to enact revenge on kazuha’s behalf, anything that would solve the seething irritation in your veins, you consider carrying out. yet, as you lift yourself up to one knee, a hand is quick to catch your wrist.

your expression droops as your gaze finds kazuha’s. his eyes on you are unwavering, determined to get a point across even as his voice fails him.

when he ascertains that he has your attention, he shakes his head in silent disapproval.

“stop, listen.”

your mind is in a state of buzzing static, yet you still attempt to follow his instruction. it’s a challenge to hear anything above the incessant beat of waves against the sand, though slowly, another prickling sensation begins to fade in. your head whips around at the abrupt pattering sounds, that of which are indescribable until gorou and a few soldiers in company appear in front of you.

startled, your light grip over the clothed arrow below kazuha’s collarbone falters. yet he still keeps his hand dutifully on your wrist, effectively stopping you from tipping backwards and taking him with you. more tears come to your eyes at the absurdity of it all.

“...are you alright?”

carefully readjusting your hands on the fabric over his chest, you watch for any ticks of pain in kazuha’s expression. when you find none, you let out a shuddering breath as you let your tears spill. for his sake, you croak out a laugh even as his worried eyes attempt to catch yours.

“i think i should be the one asking you that.”

in front of you, gorou engages kujou sara.

“have you no respect?!” he demands, throwing out an arm over the both of you. you shrink back under the pressuring atmosphere, tending to kazuha silently,

“this woman was one of your own for years, and yet you’ll throw her away so casually?”

kujou sara’s brow wrinkles. “you know nothing about her.”

“i know enough.” his expression is hard as he locks gazes with the woman across from him. yet, bravely, he is the first to break eye contact, turning back to address you while leaving his soldiers to fend off the tengu general.

gorou’s face melts into a more sympathetic guise the moment he meets your eye, throat tightening as he looks at his friend in the dirt.

as if unsure, he asks, “...can you get him somewhere on your own?”

readily wiping your tears with the back of your hand, you nod. “of course, yeah.”

gorou watches your hesitance as you murmur a few words of encouragement to kazuha where he lies on the ground. you seem reluctant to move him, though he is well aware it’s not because you don’t want to -- you are likely afraid of hurting him, even if carrying him to the side is well within your strength.

but, just as he steps forward to offer a hand, you surprise him yet again. sinking to your knees, the communication between you and kazuha is quiet but clear, resulting in the slow rising of your bodies together. your face is still red with tears as you take a peak back at gorou, though he returns it with a soft smile.

“go,” gorou says, helping kazuha by readjusting his arm to rest tighter over your torso. “i’ll let kokomi know you’re on your way.”

he lets you go as you nod.

it is a perilous walk back up to camp, filled with the silence and your hard breaths. you don’t have the heart to even look down at kazuha’s injury, but gorou’s promise to send kokomi keeps your hopes high enough. the only thing that keeps you going up the hill is the shaky breathing that reaches your ear, showing the man’s telltale signs of life.

when you reach the main rendezvous point of the resistance camp, you can't help but stumble to a stop. not even you are accustomed to carrying the weight of two bodies at once. looking around desperately for the pink-haired strategist, your heart drops when you notice that the area is completely empty, devoid of life.

“kazuha,” your voice shakes as you turn your head to peek at his expression. fear seeps through your veins as you realise how low his eyes droop, and how slow his reaction time has become. “kazuha, please.”

abandoning your plan of waiting for kokomi, you lower him to the ground where you stand.

crawling delicately over his torso, you settle over his waist before adjusting your temporary wrap -- the fabric of your jacket has been dyed a gruesome red almost completely through. sobs wrack your body as your mind goes blank, searching for a solution that you do not have.

“___…?”

your eyes shoot open at the quiet utter of your name. kazuha’s chest comes to life once again with fast breaths, eyes opening suddenly to hold yours.

chest freezing in shock, a lonely cry leaves your mouth as you lean forward to cup his cheek. “oh, kazuha. kokomi is on her way, you only need to wait a bit longer. is it… uncomfortable?”

you try to motion to where your jacket winds around the arrow tightly, but you can barely stand the sight of it. a knowing smile quirks at his lips as an unsteady hand comes up to lay over yours, brows knitting with pain.

“it’s enough for now.” he reassures.

lips thinning in an attempt to stop the tears that threaten to burst, you quietly admit, “kazuha, i can’t accept that.”

intermittently deciding to search for something else to cover him with, you take off another layer with a silent huff. it leaves you only in an undershirt, but any loss of your dignity is well worth kazuha’s life.

tying it slowly around the parts that seem to ooze, kazuha watches you with care.

“kazuha,” your lips thin into a line as you fingers weave through the knots, anxiety raising into your throat. “i love you, and i’m sorry that i can’t do more for you. but, i won’t lose you again.”

an uncharacteristic smile spreads across his lips, his forearm lifting to cover his eyes. but, despite the action, it is a sad smile; one devoid of expectation or hope. and it breaks your heart to look down at the wrapping over his collar and know exactly what kazuha is thinking.

“do you--” he stops himself, “do you know why i asked you to come along with me that day? in inazuma city?”

“no.” you shake your head.

the offer had seemed sudden, but rather than anything else, you had always thought to pin it as a reckless decision made after his friend had met an unfortunate end. seeing you in the uniform of the very god that had taken a life close to him, it was more than enough of an excuse to warrant such a thing. but kazuha’s shadow of a smile now suggests otherwise.

“…i merely couldn’t figure out another way to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me.” he admits, a sob lining his voice. softly, you shush him as your tears spill respectively. “all i knew was that i didn’t want to lose you to the shogun. we were only kids, but i loved you. and in some way or another, i have never stopped.”

a slight laugh poking through your resolve, you shake your head.

“then tell me again when you’re certain you can continue.” you say softly, sniffling as your hand raises to thread through his hair. kazuha’s forearm drops back to his side, and for the first time in a long time, you cry together.

kokomi arrives not long after, taking kazuha into her care almost immediately. there had been similar casualties on the other routes of escape, ones that she had already partly tended to. but, noting your frazzled state, she explains these things to keep you distracted rather than leaving you to your own devices. kazuha had since gone unconscious, confined to his own tent due to the nature of his injury -- while grave, the placement of the arrow had been a fortunate one. it lodged directly below his collarbone, but it was short of going clean through his lung thanks to only one rib.

you shudder to think what could have happened had kazuha been off even an inch.

there is nothing you can do but keep him in your thoughts. but, knowing that he is in the hands of a friend calms you. there is no one more capable than kokomi when it comes to piecing things back together, after all.

the sickbeds are nearly all taken by the time the sun begins to rise, filled with soldiers that had encountered the wrath of the shogunate. as you sit beside her, you share what kujou sara had said to you offhandedly.

“i’m a traitor in kujou sara’s eyes, and she came back for me.” you say, eyes still puffy from crying as you stare at nothing. “i should take responsibility for kazuha, it’s only the right thing to do.”

adamantly, kokomi shakes her head. “while this was inevitable, you were not the only one who assumed we were in the clear.”

with a slight sigh, her hands flex over an unnamed wounded soldier, hydro slowly healing the flesh wounds they had sustained. you watch her absentmindedly, shrugging.

“maybe so. but there was only one person who shot that arrow at kazuha.” you grumble.

countless times, you had debated telling kokomi about what kazuha had said to you, about the conversation you’d shared in what could have been his last moments. yet, there is something in the downset concentration of her eyes on you that tells you she has already guessed. kokomi clears her throat, shrugging a kink out of her shoulders.

“well, kujou sara is far away now. besides, i heard that wasn’t quite the case. rather than aiming for him, she aimed for you. but he had stepped in, isn’t that right?”

you sigh, “...gorou told you?”

a small smile curls her lip. “this is why i am confident when i say that it is not your fault. kazuha took an arrow to the chest for you, that is not something someone does on a whim.”

you wave her off as an embarrassed flush captures your face. kokomi chuckles, shaking her head as her eyes remain on you teasingly. finally choosing to spare you, she asks you to hand off some medical supplies in her stead.

the rest of your day is filled with similarly mundane tasks, things given to you by a variety of faces. there is no telling what they assume about your drooping state, but whether they pity you for kazuha’s sake, or find it in themselves to criticise you for your negligence, it is pointless to take it to heart.

yet when you finally have a free hand, you wish you could be back under the gaze of even someone who blames you. because, it is much worse to be left alone with your thoughts.

it’s what pushes you in the direction of kazuha’s tent initially. you had been avoiding it out of guilt, not wanting to see him in such a state despite all of kokomi’s reassurances that his condition is stable.

it’s not that you don’t believe her — kokomi’s word is law to even you now, and she would not lie to cushion any blows. but there’s something about seeing him that itches an insecurity in you, something that you can’t quite pinpoint until you’re standing in the tent, overlooking him.

we were only kids, but i loved you. and in some way or another, i have never stopped.

if he had loved you all this time, how many crucial hours had you spent thinking otherwise? hell, you’d been caught up in worries that he was plotting against you mere hours ago. all of the mistakes, all of the misunderstandings, you fear that you will never get that time back.

because while the colour has returned to kazuha’s skin, and the arrow is snipped down to a more manageable length, his life and your reconciliation still hangs in the balance so long as his eyes are closed.

taking a seat on the ground next to him, you mindlessly pull the blanket further over him. kazuha’s face is completely still, and betrays no secrets. you have not once been honest with each other, not until last night. it had taken the fear of death to push you together, but to think you relied on such an extreme—

you cut your thoughts off with the slight shake of your head. despite your blunders of the past, no longer are you at an arm’s distance, and no longer can your mistakes hold you back.

so long as kazuha recovers, you will take your second chances together.

keeping the image of his peaceful face in your mind, you head off to your own tent before anyone can wrangle you into something else. you are still apprehensive to the idea of wallowing in your regrets, so, you choose to bide your time with a more personal matter.

hesitantly, you pull a slightly crumpled envelope from the pocket of the bag you had brought along with you. it contains items you’d been too afraid to look at in the past couple of months — a ritou maple leaf laminated into a personal gift, enhancing potions you had received from the shogunate, even a yellowed picture of you and kujou sara sits folded in a pocket.

but, the envelope you search for is a more recently acquired item. addressed to you and neatly sealed, kazuha’s last anonymous letter to you glares from your hands. wincing in anticipation, you tear open the letter as you would rip a bandage from a wound. kazuha’s handwriting is small and neat, curving just as you remember it to.

to my dearly detested,

a smile tugs at your lips as you recall the joking nickname he had reserved for your letters, referencing your rocky ruse in a way only the two of you could recognise.

i hope this letter finds you in good spirits. even if your most recent escapades have failed, you will surely have another chance to best us soon. today’s subject is different from our normal topics, though, i do believe it is a necessary side to share with you.

you are well aware of my inclination to share things with you, so i will not hold back my offer to you this time. i am using this letter as an excuse to ask you to reconsider your position before there is no turning back. i don’t know how strong your ties to the raiden shogun are, and they may have grown stronger over these years, for all that i know. but if you are the same person i remember, it is worth a shot.

your lips curls into a frown. you had known your position for such a long time, yet your hesitance had kept kazuha in such a similar state of unawareness. just how long had he assumed that he would need to work from zero with you — that you were so far gone, the only feasible way to propose such a thing was through writing?

you have been forgiven for many moons now. while i wish to tell you this in person, it may very well be correct for me to assume that i will never get the chance. so, please, let me have your attention for one minute longer.

looking up with a frown, you bite into your nails with rapt nerves. you had somehow managed to misread the situation horribly enough to create an entirely new portion of setbacks. kazuha never acted hot and cold with you; he was only uncertain of your feelings on the matter. kazuha had even outright asked you if you had read the letter, yet foolishly, you had brushed it off as a jab.

closing your eyes, you groan into your palm.

if you are still reading, i thank you. for a long time, i was too bitter to even write to you. your words were heavy and carried weight that i doubt you were aware of -- i trusted them as if they were natural, even as i should have recognised your anger instead. while you were in no position to say such a thing, i was in so position to make such a selfish offer.

for throwing away so much time, i am truly sorry. if there is even a small part of you that anticipates these letters, that wants to smile as you read these words, please return. you may laugh at me, you may hate me for taking so long to say this. but, please, grant me the chance to apologise. i miss you. we have much to catch up on, but rather than merely saying that, i will look forward to hearing from you, no matter your choice.

the absence of a signature is for the purpose of privacy, but the small doodle of a maple leaf by the final word acts as a replacement. the lines are slightly shaky, as if he had been nervous when penning the drawing.

you make your way to kazuha’s tent fairly quickly after you finish reading, pocketing the letter carefully. as you pull back the tent flap, you’re surprised to see kokomi already beside him.

eyes widening, she tosses you a small wave with one hand. the other is laid delicately over kazuha’s chest, a tiny jellyfish made of concentrated hydro energy healing the larger parts of his wound. you quickly fall to your knees next to kokomi, watching her vision work with curious eyes. now that you are completely awake, it is a different sight.

it’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. if you look closely, you can almost pick out how the skin threads itself back together, gradually filtering out the blood that had dried in its place. there is a fine line of sweat on kokomi’s brow, though she seems to be making good progress.

“how long have you been at this?” you ask curiously, quirking a brow when she releases a nervous laugh.

“i haven’t been keeping a particular time, though i will do it as long as i have to.” kokomi nods. “not only has kazuha done so much for me, but i also cannot possibly let him go when someone is waiting for him to come back.”

your ears heat up quickly, and she laughs again, though the sound is considerably more joyful. “there is no need to hide such things from me. i’m only relieved that you have finally resolved your troubles.”

with the slight exasperated shake of your head, you shrug.

“well, i certainly won’t stop you if you’re so inclined.”

kokomi stays beside him as promised, and you talk well into the night, monitoring kazuha’s progress closely together. at one point, kokomi becomes too exhausted to keep up in conversation, though because she insists you keep talking, you inform her of what exactly had happened between kazuha and you.

you tell her how you had met him when he was still part of a noble family as a child. that after his clan was cut down, the responsibility of keeping him alive as a teenager fell to you, his old friend. you laugh with kokomi as you recount how kazuha’s first couple of years as a young wanderer were rough at best, but your fisherman family had been the people he needed to confide in.

“what a heart-warming story,” she muses, a small smile pursing her lips. you smile and agree.

but, the story grows dark fast. your sudden job with the shogunate didn't upset him in any way at first, but the day that his friend had died at the hands of the raiden shogun changed everything. you tell kokomi about the fight you’d had, his sudden affiliation with the resistance, the continous letters back and forth, even about his recent sudden confession in the face of death.

“and i suppose that is the long version of why we’re here today.” kokomi nods to kazuha’s peaceful face, before leaning back to shoot you a sympathetic look. “i’m so sorry, ___.”

you wave her words off, eyes trailing to kazuha’s collar. his kimono had been pulled down under his arm, as well as the creatively placed piece of armor over his arm removed, to give the healer a more direct point of access, and it gives you a clear view of his skin now. all evidence of an injury was completely wiped away in the tedious process, except for the faint memory of the arrow’s entry point, marked by a small scar.

“you’ve nearly completely cleared the wound.” you say quietly, amazed. “if anything, i should be apologising to you for all of the hard work you’ve had to do.”

kokomi’s smile is pleasant. “you’re very kind, ___. i’m sorry to hear about your circumstances, you both truly deserve this ending.”

nodding, a warm feeling spreads throughout your chest. you had made so much progress with the woman beside you, you are almost inclined to wonder how you ever saw her as an enemy at all. touched by her words, you return the smile. “yeah. i hope so.”

inevitably, kokomi doesn’t finish patching up kazuha until long after the sun sets. you both are dreary by that point, exhausted by the day’s respective duties -- yet, when she offers to walk you back to your tent for the night, you still refuse.

“i… want to be here when he wakes up.” you admit, slightly embarrassed as you let out a quiet laugh. her lips thin into a sweet smile as she stands up, wiping her hands together. it doesn’t take her long to understand, and sweetly, she leaves you with a wish of good luck.

as she leaves, you turn back to kazuha. he lays unobstructed on a tatami mat, chest rising and falling slowly in an unwavering beat, showing once and for all that he is alive, and he will live to see another day. you shiver as you reach for his hand that peeks from beneath the blanket. though, much to your dismay, he does not show any signs of recognising the touch.

the silence is deafening as you wait on and on for any further action from him, though after what feels like hours of nothing, you cannot help but succumb to sleep as well. you fall asleep with your head leaning on the sturdy fabric of the tent, kazuha’s hand tight in yours even the cold air of a draft circulates around you.

you wake peacefully this time around, the next morning arriving alarmingly fast. but, a silent coughing breaks you out of your stupor quickly. your heavy gaze attempts to adjust to the light as someone leans forward, running a light thumb over your brow.

“you’re finally awake?” the person muses, their voice tinged with a curious happiness. a smile melts your expression even before your vision clears.

smiling, you whisper, “kazuha… how are you feeling?”

“very well,” he says, hand dropping as his head tilts slightly with a smile. “thanks to you.”

giddy with relief, you waste no time in all but tackle the man in an embrace. though thankfully, he laughs along with your actions, returning your affections easily as his arms wrap around you. the blanket tangles around your intertwined limbs as you dip your head into his chest, careful to avoid his previously injured area even if it is healed - kazuha doesn’t seem to notice your superstition.

“you know, i finally read your letter,”

faltering slightly, kazuha leans his head back in an attempt to get a look at your face. begrudgingly, you let him take your chin in his hand. his brow quirks.

“and? your answer?”

incredulously, your eyes narrow teasingly.

“i refuse,” you begin, hand wandering up to cup his cheek. the adoration in his eyes that follows your actions, it is so pure, so unadulterated that it nearly knocks the wind out of you. “we’re obviously beyond saving, kazuha, can’t you see?”

a grin sits on kazuha’s lips as he pulls you to rest over him, brushing a lock of hair from your view as his eyes take in every last bit of your face. he memorises it like he might need to let go of you at any second -- though, remembering the contents of his last letter to you, perhaps the theory isn’t so far-fetched.

“i love you, ___.” he confesses to you gently, eyes gazing into yours with utmost trust. “and i will continue to for the rest of my days, so long as you let me.”

a pleased flush spreads across your face as you recall the promise you had made the night before, leaning down to let your lips hover over his. “i will, and i will love you back a thousand times over.”

kazuha smiles into you as he finally kisses you, capturing your lips in his with the power of a thousand unsaid words.

the cliche threads of fate are often loose; pulled thin by high expectations or strained by mistakes. people fall out, people become enemies, and those same threads go rotten just as fast as they had been created. but, the same cannot be said about the winds -- different to each individual, it is unique in the way it will endlessly connect two people together, regardless of the paths they take apart.

and the man who travels with the wind will never harm you.

I just saw Albedos new trailer. Quickly went to make this dumb short thing

And I did this for what