I've Been Waiting Years For This (can't Even Remember The First Time I Saw The Post), But...

I brain went “what if Darcy glitched?” then shat this out so here ya go

Sasha: I’m here to save her and stop you!

Darcy: Well th- *freezes*

Sasha:

Grime:

Darcy: *slight twitching*

Sasha:

Grime: Is… this a human thing?

Darcy: *eyes start flashing rainbow colors*

Sasha: Don’t think so

Grime:

Sasha: *steps towards Darcy with one sword out in front of her to poke at their armor*

Darcy: -̷̳̝̓̔E̴̳͍͊̊E̶̠̒̚E̸͙͘N̴͙͘E̴̻̎͝N̴͔̙͂͝Ȇ̵̩N̷͖̺̄Ṋ̶̊̈́E̷̡͊N̷͕̾E̴̬͛N̵̜̩̑̐E̴̘͊̋E̶̯͖͒E̸̾͜E̵̻͋N̴̛͇̿Ñ̸̻̖N̷͚̍Ṇ̵̝̎Ń̴̘̭Ǹ̶̯̕ *falls to the floor*

Sasha: *shrieks and stumbles backwards*

Darcy: *rolls around like they have some weird ass ragdoll physics bug* L̴̲̚L̸͔̞͒L̸̻͎͠Ļ̶͎͆Ľ̸̺̰L̸̟͠E̷̘̤̓L̷̺̼̈́̕E̶͇͋E̷͗̚͜È̵̙̗̎E̸̢̔Ě̵̯̭́B̶̡̛̘̚B̶̖̈́B̸̺̀B̸̦̖̀̔B̷̙̮̓͒B̵̰̒B̵̦̠̔̑Ś̸̢͌S̴̨̓̊S̵̝͇̄͠S̸̼̐Ȗ̴̼Ų̴̜̿U̸̺̓̒L̴͈̓͊U̵̹̟̓͝Ļ̷̊̚Ĺ̸̮͠L̵͉̻̈̔B̸̰̐Ṙ̶̺̩͘R̴̖̲͝R̶̒̐͜R̶̗͗Ë̷̮͉́E̴̢̦͗͗

My unmotivated ass strikes again with... another shitpost!!!

Links to more of *gestures vaguely* this stuff

1 / 3 / 4 / 5

Hunter Punts Kikimora Like A Football

Ok but I actually LOVE the fact that Darcy/The Core, being the dramatic chaos gremlin that they are, closes their eyes before someone enters the room JUST to have a spooky reveal when they decide to open them hgvcbhftgjhkjh

I do be drawin (WIP)

This is related to my Enemy Endlings fic heh

Darcy: Andrias, we are THIS close to replacing Marcy as our child in place of you.

Andrias: My lord... your fingers are touching?

Darcy: Exactly.

LMAO so true of you, Darcy

Has this been done

(All from makesweet.com)

Here’s a bunch of 3+ year old incorrect TOH quotes from my notes app because I’m bored

News reporter: There are rumors that you recently went undercover at Hexside under the name “Caleb”. Is this true?

The Golden Guard: Pfft, TITAN no. Caleb’s just a pathetic wannabe who can’t stand his own incompetence. Like, seriously, he can’t do anything right. I feel bad for anyone who has to suffer the embarrassment of being within 20 feet of him. He’s such a loser.

Hunter, watching the clip on his scroll a few hours later: Say that to my face, you fucking tool. Stop being such a royal ass-kisser and get a real job.

The Emerald Entrails, sitting together after practice:

Willow: Are you okay?

Luz: No problemo!

Luz, internally: But it was all problemo.

Gus: What's your biggest fear?

Hunter: Being replaced.

Gus: Damn that's deep.

Gus: My new one is the Kool-Aid man but I feel kinda stupid about it now.

Hunter, lying in the woods, depressed: I'll never be a cop again. I'm gonna have to be a robber.

Lilith: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.

The Golden Guard, stirring his coffee: I prefer it with salt.

Willow: What are you two arguing about this time?

Hunter: He’s always using human phrases incorrectly!

Gus: Cry me a table, Hunter.

Luz: I'm very disappointed in you, Vee.

Hunter: C'mon, don't get mad at Vee!

Luz: Hunter, stop telling Vee it's okay for her to punch you! She needs to learn not to punch people!

Hunter: But I'm not a person!

Vee: Which is why I punched him!

Lilith: *Turns on the breakroom light*

The Golden Guard: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*

Lilith: It’s four in the morning.

The Golden Guard: Turn the light back off.

Hunter: The joy of hanging out with Luz. You look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and she bites the tip of a marker off.

Camila: Can you come out?

Luz: Yeah gimme a minute…

Luz: Mom, I’m bi.

Camila: I know that. Come out to the car.

Luz: Okay.

Luz: Car, I’m bi.

Camila, a tired mother:

Willow: *lifting weights*

Hunter: Wow… She’s so intense!

Luz: I wonder what drives her.

Willow, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

Hunter, protecting a palistrom forest: I am Hunter, I speak for the trees. Chop them down and I snap your knees.

Luz: I wanna be a knight!

Hunter, basically a knight: What the fuck do you want this shit for? I kill people, all right? Their blood is on my hands! Every night, when I go to sleep, I see their FUCKING faces staring at me! Their families weep, and I FEEL NOTHING! I’M DEAD INSIDE!

Luz: Man, I want some of that in my life!

Luz: I want a trip down memory lane.

Vee: *proceeds to grab every warrior cats book they have and sets them in Luz’s lap*

Vee: I heard you needed these?

Luz: YES! ALL OF THEM!

Hunter: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

Luz: Did Willow say “I love you” and you said “Thanks”?

Hunter: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

The Golden Guard, on live news: I can't imagine what the Owl Lady is planning, but I can tell you two things: we won't like it and it won't be legal.

Gus: Did you win? Or just not die?

Gus: Either way, hooray.

Hunter: ... Is "no" a valid answer?

Gus: The hooray is redacted and you frighten me.

The Golden Guard: Hey, do you know anyone who can teach me to play the trumpet?

Darius: Why?

The Golden Guard: I want to wander around playing it to annoy Lilith.

Darius: Technically, you don’t actually need to know how to play the trumpet well for that.

The Golden Guard: Darius, you have opened my eyes.

Lilith: Can we talk about that mass message you sent?

The Golden Guard: Why? It was important.

Lilith: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".

Steve, shrugging: The people need to know.

Gus: How long do you think it’ll be until Willow finally snaps and commits murder?

Hunter: I’ve been operating under the assumption that it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to her.

Hunter: It was difficult, so you’ve just given up. You might fail, so why bother trying?

Luz: Exactly.

Luz, to Amity: I told you he’d understand.

Willow: Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up!

Willow: Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!

Hunter: There's something I have to ask about you-know-who.

Luz: Voldemort?

Hunter: No.

Luz: Is it Voldemort?

Hunter: It's not Voldemort.

Luz: You haven’t mentioned wizards once this conversation, so I’m gonna have to assume it’s Voldemort.

The Golden Guard is probably a sore subject for a while, but I like to think that Hunter soon becomes the #1 slanderer of how much of a loser he was as Philip’s fav suck-up

I don’t draw anything for like a month or two and then when I finally do, it’s a shitpost hgbvhbnj

Inspiration under the cut:

Like…. is it just me or does the concept of crusader memes fit the Golden Guard more than it should?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY UGLY /pos