you travel over 20 years with someone and they leave you one day after a fight so you drop a brutal break-up song. after months, your ex is back in your life with their other ex (who is now your bestie) and a kid. now you're at your ex's childhood home. oh, and also you're a spy. jaskier is living out the most chaotic romcom thriller ever and no one else even realizes.
And evening
… whose stories I was interrupted reading sooo many times that I lost the thread, or lost momentum, or just straight-up lost the tab and never got to the end of what was probably a damn good story.
It happens more than I like to admit.
I want to apologize to the writers whose story I read and enjoyed, but it was just too late, or I was too cranky, too overwhelmed, or simply too lazy, and I never wrote a comment, made a bookmark, or shared it with my friends.
There are a lot of those, too.
I want to apologize to the fic writers whose stories I never finished (or started) because of an inadequate summary, or grammar, or formatting. There are reasons for all those things, but sometimes I am impatient, or lazy, or judgmental, and I probably miss out on a lot of good things.
You work so hard. I KNOW how hard it is to have an idea and write it down and see it through to the very end while meanwhile Life rains down on you. And I always feel bad when I don’t give you the kudos and recognition you deserve.
It is such a small thing to say thank you, but sometimes I don’t.
Dick Grayson: technically every joke I make is a dick joke lol 👉😎👉
jaskier writing burn butcher burn about geralt, despite being the one who got everyone to stop calling him the butcher : the bard giveth and the bard taketh away
For those who asked, here are my fics (updating as they come) focusing on the reader as a young girl in Geralt’s care. Ages & timings vary. I’ve put them in a relative order of when they’re set.
The reader is my OC, Akela, just with the pronouns/name changed as Tumblr seems to prefer reader!fics. Her version of each story can be found here.
Sticks and Stones - After Renfri’s death, you find Geralt surrounded by a crowd of people throwing stones at him and yelling at him to die. Needless to say, you react in the only way possible. Like a witcher.
Heart of Geralt - Geralt and Jaskier’s first meeting, except with an added twist. Who knew the White Wolf liked raspberries?
The White Wolf and His Pup - Geralt finds a baby girl in the woods, and for some reason, he can’t quite let her go.
Fragile - Geralt deals with a sick baby.
Like Father, Like Daughter - Geralt should have expected his child’s first word to be ‘fuck’.
Raising a Wild Pup - Geralt deals with a tantrum, watches the sun set, and goes swimming. In one evening. That’s his superpower. He calls it fatherhood.
Eleven - For a five-year-old, political events can be boring. Thankfully, Geralt is a master at distracting you.
Fire - It’s your birthday, and you and Geralt celebrate by playing a game.
Book - After a long day, you ask Geralt to read you a story before bed.
Drabble - “I’m bleeding!”
Drabble - “Are you mad at me?”
Drabble - “What the hell are you holding and why is it… wriggling?”
Eye of the Beholder - Geralt has a tendency to cover your eyes whenever a naked person steps into view—as any father does—but this proves to be quite difficult when he first meets Yennefer.
Sex and Apologies - After the djinn causes the building to fall around Geralt and Yennefer, you believe your guardian to be dead. He is, of course, very much alive, and you’re far from happy.
First - You smile at a boy, and Geralt starts to worry.
Little Traveller - While staying at an inn, you sleepwalk, leaving a very uneasy Geralt to come and find you.
Drabble - “Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that.”
You Make Me Smile - The one thing you should never do is start a tickle fight with a witcher.
Each Other - Geralt would never have believed that he’d one day find himself braiding a teenage girl’s hair, never mind her braiding his… But here he is. And he isn’t complaining.
Like Him - You and Geralt have an argument, and it takes a certain bard to get you to stop glaring daggers at each other and make up.
Dad - Three times Geralt called you his daughter, and the one time you called him ‘Dad’.
A Mother’s Touch - Geralt is great, but sometimes, all you need is a mother’s arms to wrap around you and hold you close.
To Annoy a Witcher - Three times Geralt hated the bard’s song, and the one time he didn’t.
Wild Rabbit - You meet your mother—the mother who, as the stories go, left you to the monsters in the woods. Fortunately, you were found by Geralt before they could get you, but it’s safe to say you’re not happy to see this woman… and neither is Geralt.
Drabble - “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Drabble - “Where’s Roach?”
Drabble - “You have a stick in your hair.”
Drabble - “You know I love you.”
Drabble - “I’ll always be there for you.”
Drabble - “What the hell are you holding and why is it… wriggling?”
Mud Monster - Jaskier should have known better than letting you convince him to play a prank on Geralt.
To Love and Be Loved - Geralt and Yennefer aren’t exactly the most well-behaved parents when it comes to you and teenage boys.
Fishy Business - Geralt teaches you how to catch fish.
Until the End - After Geralt loses both Yennefer and Jaskier on that mountainside, you’re there to assure him that he’s not alone.
Constant - You’re worried that, once Geralt finds Ciri, he’ll stop caring for you. Geralt’s quick to put your mind at ease.
Jealousy - You meet Ciri, and you are less than happy.
Name Game - Geralt accidentally calls Ciri something he shouldn’t have.
The Pup and the Cub - Geralt leaves you and Ciri to finally sort out your differences.
The Bard and the Barber - Though you’re all too happy to see Jaskier again, there’s one thing that must go: his hair.
i don’t lose hyperfixations they just go dormant until I hear something about it like a sleeper agent