YES!!!

"Sorry, can't help you," the council says, the head mage waving his hand. Everything fades away, and I find myself in the archmage's cottage.

I kick and throw some stuff out of irritation for awhile, shouting at the ceiling. But when I kick the bed, the end post falls off, revealing a hollow hole inside.

I reach in, and find a small journal. Curious, I sit down on the bed and open it up.

"Dear reader, if you are reading this, it means I have FINALLY found a way out!!! Bless you, for you are most likely the one to thank for this turn of events.

"You see, I (an archmage, for 200 years), was never supposed to be. I cannot do magic to save my life, as you have most likely found out firsthand. I am not even sure how I ended up with the position, as I never dueled the previous archmage. The council simply appeared one day and declared it so. And so here I am, writing this book to tell you how I have managed for two centuries without magic."

My eyes are huge as they scan the pages. A few pages in, I discover that the previous arachmage, while unable to do much magic, was quite accomplished at potion work.

Anytime someone came to him needing something, or he was called upon to solve a problem, or banish a beast, he found or made a potion of some kind to suit the problem.

The book is filled with potions recipes, words to speak over them, infusions to add to objects.

"All this time," I marvel. "Maybe the council knew what they were doing after all. It wasn't magic the archmage was performing.

"It was science."

You are a terrible mage, yet through pure, dumb luck you managed to defeat an archmage in a duel, thus taking their place according to ancient tradition. Many mages protest against giving such a prestigious position to a clearly unqualified candidate, including yourself.

“Today has been pretty good. Not many visitors. I started a new book about-” My voice cuts off abruptly as I stare at her. “You…you just wasted your question. Why would you do that?”

She smiles gently. “I didn’t need it.”

“But…” I am lost. Confused. “Why?”

“Because,” she says, reaching out and putting her hand on my arm. “I thought you could use a friend. So could I. What’s your book about?”

Numbly, I start explaining the intricacies of my book, offering her some refreshments.

And that is how the strangest friendship I’ve ever had began.

You have been a mountaintop prophet for 1,000 years. Each person only gets one question and you’re sure you’ve heard every question that can be asked. Until one day someone uses their one question to ask, “How are you doing?”

"I may or may not have planted a beanstalk in the backyard on accident."

I bit my lip waiting for my husband's response. It's not the most welcome of homecomings after a long day at work.

Jack's eye twitches. "You...what?"

"It was an accident! The trader swore they were peas! You know I've been wanting a garden."

Jack runs over to the window and sees the beanstalk. It had only been an hour since I planted it, but it was already nearly as tall as the house.

I wring my hands. "I'm sorry! What do we do?"

Jack sighs. "I'll chop it down. Let me put my stuff down first."

I let out a breath of relief. "Thanks."

30 minutes later, the beanstalk is gone. Jack comes back inside, sweating. "If you have any more seeds, I can plant them for you, since I already need to shower."

I hand over the remaining seeds and kiss him on the cheek. "I love you. I'll start on dinner."

Several minutes later, I'm chopping vegetables when the door slams open and Jack comes back inside with wide eyes.

"Okay, I know those were strawberries, but look at them now." He points out the back door, to where a gigantic strawberry vine is slowly but surely poking out of the ground.

I drop the carrot I'm holding in shock.

Jack is fuming. "That trader better watch out, because the next time I see him, I'm giving him a piece of my mind!"

"Wait, try these," I say, handing him some more seeds. "Those ones came from my friend Ella. They should be apple trees. Normal ones."

Jack stomps outside and comes back in 10 minutes later. "They're growing like weeds! Good weeds, I suppose, but they're already starting to flower. It must not be the seeds."

"Maybe it's the dirt," I suggest. "Made anyone mad enough to curse our garden lately?"

Jack turns red.

I put down my knife and raise an eyebrow at him.

He blushes harder. "I may or may not have told Gothel that I couldn't fix her tower. She didn't like that, but I didn't think she would curse our garden!"

I shrug and resume chopping. "We'll make the best of it then. Super sized fruit will go a lot longer. Maybe we can sell some of it too!"

Writing Prompt #2742

"You know I love you."

"Of course."

"And I don't want to do anything to worry you."

"That's a really bad start to this conversation."

“Whoa!” Johnny shouted, throwing his hands up. “What’s going on here?!”

A tall man stepped out of the crowd with a fierce look on his face. “Do not even think of trying to do anything. You will be taken before the king and given a trial. Come peacefully, or we have been given permission to use any measure of force on you.”

Johnny looked around in bewilderment. “Dude, I’ve been asleep. If all went right, for a thousand years! What is it that you think I’ve done?”

The man sniffed. “Come.” He directed Johnny to stand and he tied him with special enchanted ropes to hold him. 

Johnny fumed for the entire ride to the castle. Once they finally arrived, he was dragged, literally dragged, before the king, who stared down at him disdainfully. 

“What do you have to say for yourself?” the king boomed.

Johnny stared at him confused. “I’m sorry to have to say this again, but what is going on here?!”

The king scoffed. “Don’t play dumb. Just because it’s been a thousand years, doesn't mean we’re ignorant. We know everything that happened between you and Russo. You almost destroyed the world, and I will not let it happen again!”

Johnny’s eyes went wide. “What?”

“Nothing?” the king glared. “You have nothing to say? No false promises? Pleas? Nothing?”

Johnny shook himself out of his shock and poured out the story, but nothing he said made a difference.  Eventually, the king sentenced him to death. With the enchanted ropes still binding him, Johnny was unable to fight.

As he was dragged through the halls, he remembered the last few days before he went to sleep. The memories were so vivid, it was like he was reliving them.

Russo, attacking yet another village, burning it to the ground.

Johnny fighting back, again. 

Their fight had been so big and powerful that it shook the mountains. In the end, Johnny had cast one last spell, thinking he had killed Russo. 

Worn out and exhausted, Johnny had secluded himself and cast a spell to send him into a hibernation of sorts for a thousand years. He was too tired to continue on helping the mortals when he hardly ever even got a thank you.

But while his spell on himself had worked, clearly the one he cast on Russo had not. Russo had still been alive when Johnny sent himself into a protected sleep.

Unable to kill Johnny, Russo left a message for those somewhere down the line to finish the job for him. 

History is written by the victors.

The prophecy foretold that The Great Evil would awaken 1000 years after his original defeat. As it turns out, the people took this very seriously, so when he awakened, he was met with an army of blessed knights, an evil containment system, and two dozen automated holy turrets aimed at him.

“I don’t understand why you can’t help me!”

The angry girl slammed her hand down on the table.

I sighed. “Look, ma’am, I have security, and I’m not afraid of calling them. You need to calm down.”

She gritted her teeth. “Can you give me anything? A hint? A city? A state?”

I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I can’t help you. If you speak to the receptionist, she will issue a refund, along with something special for your trouble.”

The girl stood up in a huff. “Some matchmaker you are. Why can’t you help me?”

I sighed again. “I can’t tell you that. What I can tell you, is that you don’t have to be with your soulmate. Soulmates are overrated. You can be with anyone you choose. Some people never find their soulmates and are perfectly happy. Or you can choose to be happy without a partner. Get a dog. Adopt a kid. Move in with a friend. This doesn’t mean that you have to be alone.”

The girl rolled her eyes and flounced out of my back room. A few minutes later, I heard her arguing with the receptionist loudly.

“Why couldn’t you help her?”

I yelped in surprise as my apprentice appeared behind me, emerging from the closet.

I groaned. “Jason! How many times have I told you not to do that?”

Jason grinned. “I think this makes 237.” He pulled a notebook out of his pocket and made a note, presumably marking this event as number 238. He snapped it shut, then looked at me seriously.

“But for real, why was she so mad? Could you not see her string?”

“I could see it,” I said quietly. “But it wasn’t red anymore. I couldn’t be the one to tell her that.”

Jason nodded slowly. “What does that mean again? I know the string gets brighter when you are close to the other person. Doesn’t it turn purple if the other person is with someone else? Was her string purple?”

I shook my head. “It was black.”

Jason thought for a minute before shaking his head. “I don’t remember that.”

“Jason,” I groaned. “You’ve been my apprentice for over a year! Anyway, black means the other person is…dead.” I shuddered, the memories resurfacing.

His face was suitably remorseful. “Sorry. I forgot, I didn’t mean to…”

My eyes were unfocused as I flew down memory lane. The first time I remember seeing the strings, when I learned what that meant, seeing my own.

Then the less pleasant memories. Telling people who their soulmate was, only to have them upset that it wasn’t who they wanted. Finding my soulmate, only to watch my string turn black after only a few months. Figuring out how to sever a string. 

The receptionist knocked on the door, startling me out of my thoughts. “Sorry, I just locked up. Thought I would go ahead and give you the day's earnings before I leave. See you tomorrow?”

I nodded and watched her leave. Then I looked at the money on the table in front of me and started counting it. 

It might not be the most pleasant business.

But it sure paid well.

Some say that an invisible red string is tied around the fingers of soulmates meant to be together forever. As it turns out, you can see these red strings, and have therefore created a highly successful matchmaking business.

I pause. "Centuries?"

My brother nods. "Centuries, blah blah blah, prophecy, blah blah blah, chosen one, blah blah, overthrown and killed, you get the point. I'm outta here!"

He looks a bit too excited for my comfort. I gently extract my newborn daughter from my older brother's arms, slowly taking the dagger out of her hands.

"Mom told me you're 10 years older than me, and that's why you've been king as long as I can remember." I say carefully. Has he finally snapped? I knew the war was wearing on him, but this?

He rolls his eyes. "Try 287 years older than you. And "Mom" isn't really MY mom. Really, I thought you would have figured it out by now. I did try to leave you hints."

I can only stare at him. "But...how? Why?"

He shrugs. "Cursed, evil fairy, 'wasn't invited,' (her sister hid the invite, it wasn't my fault!), you get the idea."

I clutch my daughter a little tighter. "So no one has noticed that you've been on the throne for 200 years?"

"No, people are surprisingly unobservant. Every 30 years or so, I 'get sick' and fake my death, my 'son' rising to power. It's surprisingly easy to do."

My eyes widen in horror. "You're not my dad, right? Mom said he died a few years after i was born!"

He shudders. "Eww, no! Obviously, she knew and helped me lie about it, but no. For all intents and purposes, I'm still your older brother. Your family line has descended from my younger brother."

I can hardly believe my ears. "Why didn't Mom tell me the truth?"

My brother sighs. "There are some stupid people in this kingdom that actually like the way I rule, despite my best efforts to rile them up and get them to assassinate me (doesn't work by the way, someone tried that 173 years ago).

"If they knew the truth, that your child would finally take me out of power, you'd better believe that you wouldn't have lived past 5 years old. Despite my best efforts, there are still a few people out there who know the prophecy."

"So you want my infant child to stab you right now?!" I ask in disbelief. "I can understand the rest, but that would leave ME in charge until she's of age. And she would be crowned while she was still a child! Do you really want that for the kingdom?"

He rolls his eyes again. "I don't care."

"How are you so sure that it's her?"

He closes his eyes, remembering the prophecy. "'Spinner's daughter, without sister or brother, shall end your reign, and she will prosper.' Not a great prophecy as far as the contents. It barely rhymes, but it gave me hope that there would be an end to ...this.

"But if it means that much to you, I guess I can wait a few more years. But I will be telling her the truth, the WHOLE truth!"

I nod. "Me too," I say quietly.

17 years later, at my daughters birthday party, my brother's butler comes to find me, in a panic.

"Your Higness, your brother has fallen ill! It's quite bad. You should come see him."

I follow him up the stairs to my brother's room.

"What's the matter?" I ask when I see him, lying in his bed.

He smiles weakly. "I'm not sure when she did it, but she must be behind this. I'm so-" He cuts off in a coughing fit.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, tears filling my eyes. "I wish it could be different. Do you want to see her?"

He shakes his head. "Don't spoil her fun, it's her birthday. And I'm happy, I really am. I'll see my wife, my kids, my parents and siblings."

He sighs happily. "I've been dreaming about this for centuries."

An hour later, my older brother dies in his bed, 200 years overdue.

My daughter cries at her beloved uncle's death, though she wipes away her tears and puts on a brave face for the coronation the next morning.

The kingdom mourns his death for the final time, even as they celebrate their first queen in 275 years.

No one notices me slipping into the background of the party, hiding a small black bottle in my hand.

When I dump it out the window, the plants underneath it shrivel up and die.

“Why are you giving my newborn baby a dagger?!” “Well they’re a choosen one, which means that I’m destined to be killed by them; but honestly I’ve been waiting centuries for them to be born and I just want to get it over with.”

Edward strolled through the woods, whistling as he carried a basket of rolls on his arm. He’d been walking for almost two hours, but his feet were still light as he practically skipped through the shadows.

There was a low growl that stopped him in his tracks. He peered through the darkness. “Juno? Is that you?”

The answering snarl that came had Edward groaning. Of course it wasn’t. This happened at least every other time he came to the woods.

Still, he couldn’t stop the shiver of fear he felt travel down his spine when the creature stepped into the light. It looked like a leopard, but it was an odd shade of red, and almost as big as a hippo. 

Edward didn’t move, closing his eyes against what he knew would happen next. Sure enough, a few seconds later, the attack came.

A rush of air and a sharp growl as the creature pounced, a roar, a yowl as the creature was tackled to the ground. Then, a wet slashing sound and a whimper. 

“Can I open my eyes yet?” Edward asked awkwardly.

A smacking and gulping answered his question. He swallowed, feeling slightly sick. 

“Never mind.”

A few moments passed before the clearing fell silent. 

A sweet voice broke through Edward’s thoughts. “It’s clear now.”

He opened his eyes and grinned at the young woman standing in front of him. “Thanks.”

She shrugged, returning his smile. She reached out a hand and he took it, walking with her to the small, hidden cabin where she lived.

Edward set his basket of rolls on her table. “Here you are, m’lady. The monthly bribe to not eat me or anyone else.”

She laughed. “What did you bring me this time, Edward?”

He pushed it toward her, and she opened it, gasping with delight at the fresh rolls. “My favorite! Thank you!”

She immediately grabbed one and started eating it. 

Edward laughed. “Slow down, Juno! I didn’t think you’d have any room left right now! Did you see the size of that thing?! What was that, by the way?”

Juno swallowed with a gulp. “Red leopard.” She snickered at the look on Edward’s face before she took another bite, speaking with her mouth full. “Creative, I know. And I’ll always make room for your baking. Especially rolls!”

Edward laughed, but didn’t say anything. 

It took Juno a moment before she noticed, but when she did, her brow wrinkled with concern. “What’s wrong? It didn’t hurt you, did it?”

“No,” Edward rushed to reassure her. “I’m fine. I just don’t understand why you won’t come back with me. No one would care!”

He ignored the raised eyebrows Juno sent him. “It would be fine, it would! I’d make sure no one bothered us!”

Juno sighed, putting down her roll. “Because, they would care. Your village may not be very smart, since they haven’t figured…this out. And it’s been almost three years. But they would definitely notice if you brought a girl out of the woods and the “monster” disappeared without a trace.”

“They wouldn’t know it’s you!” Edward insisted. “They don’t know that you can shift. They just think you’re the wolf shape. They wouldn’t have to know! Please,” he begged.

Juno looked away. She couldn’t resist that face. 

“So…what?” Edward finally said, hurt. “What are we doing? I can’t live in the woods with you. I’ve only survived this long because of you. I’d be dead in the first week. You won’t come back to town with me.”

Juno closed her eyes, shaking her head. 

“I can’t keep doing this,” Edward whispered. 

There was a sharp breath, and then both of them had tears sliding down their cheeks. They cried silently together for several minutes, neither of them wanting to move.

Finally, Edward stood slowly. 

“No,” Juno pleaded. “Don’t go.”

She knew that if he left now, he wouldn’t come back.

“Have you changed your mind?” He asked quietly. When she shook her head, he sighed. “I’m sorry. Please…spare the village. If you’re mad, take it out on me, not them.”

“Just go,” Juno ground out. “I’ll leave them alone.”

Edward walked to the door and opened it, then paused, turning back. “If…”

Juno looked up, tears streaming down her cheeks.

He sighed. “If you change your mind, or come up with another solution, you know where to find me.”

She nodded.

Her plan had backfired on her. What had started as simple fun and games, had turned explosive, and it had just blown up in her face.

She never expected to get hurt in the process.

Every so often, the local baker must bake something and personally deliver it to the monster in the woods, and in exchange the monster leaves the village alone. What no one knows is, the monster actually has a huge crush on the baker and needs an excuse to see them.

He shrugged as much as was possible, what with all the ropes holding him in place against the pole.

"Honestly, I'm good with either one."

The villian stopped her pacing. "Huh?"

He shrugged again. "I dunno, I'm kinda done with all this hero stuff. They ask me to do things that keep me up at night. If I'm dead, they can't make me do stuff anymore!"

She paused, staring at him in fascination. "That is...slightly morbid."

"And," he continued. "Let's be objectively honest. You're a gorgeous person."

The villian couldn't help her blush, though she crossed her arms and turned away to hide it, resuming her pacing.

The hero watched her for a few more minutes before he couldn't stand it anymore.

"Did you...did you really want to kiss me - or kill me - or was that just messing with my head? I can never tell with you."

She ignored him and walked away, out of his sight line. He could hear her rummaging through what he assumed were her possessions. Several minutes later, the villian walked back into view, carrying a backpack that was obviously stuffed.

One eyebrow raised as the hero asked, "Going somewhere?"

She raised her eyebrows right back. "Yeah, to my sister's place. If you don't want to do this little dance anymore, it takes all the fun out of it."

"Now, I didn't say that-"

"So," she interrupted. "Wanna come with me?"

Writing Prompt #2848

"What are you going to do to me?"

"Kiss you. Kill you. I'm not sure yet."

I stared at him in horror. My best friend, my companion since childhood, knelt before me, holding out his sword.

“What have you done?” I whispered.

Kyle stood grimly, sheathing his sword. “What needed doing.”

I stomped my foot like a petulant child, my eyes filling with tears. “How could you?!”

Kyle looked away and didn’t answer.

I grabbed his hand. “That oath can’t be undone! Ever! You’re stuck!”

He refused to meet my eyes, gently extracting his hands from mine. “I know.”

The tears spilled over. “This isn’t what I wanted, Kyle.”

He winced. “I know.”

I kicked his shin in frustration. Not my smartest idea, as he was fully clad in armor. I hopped in pain for a moment. Kyle failed to hide his smile, but quickly schooled his expression.

I regained my footing and swiped the tears from my eyes. I stood straight and faced him. 

“I am mad at you.” I declared with my arms crossed.

Kyle nodded and bowed his head. “I would expect nothing less, Lady Isabelle.”

I stared for a moment, shaken at hearing my formal title come from his lips. He had never called me that before, not once. He barely called me my given name at all. 

I shook my head slowly, saddened. “Is- Is this what it is to be like now? Why? Why did you do it, Kyle?”

He looked away again. “You will be protected.”

I growled. “I can protect myself!”

He shook his head and met my eyes. “Not from this.”

I threw my hands up in frustration. “From what?!”

His voice was barely a whisper. “There is…a plot. Stirring in the village. And if it’s here, it’s all over the kingdom. The people will rise and try to overthrow the rulers. The royal family, down to the children, the dukes, duchesses, their children. Anyone holding a title. Women and children alike. I can’t let you be a part of that…massacre.”

I was speechless for a few minutes, pacing back and forth in anger. “And you couldn’t just, I don’t know, TELL ME?!”

He shook his head, laughing. “Would you have listened? I know you, Lady Isabelle.”

“Stop calling me that!”

Kyle shrugged. “You wouldn’t have listened, and you know it! This was the only way. We are both bound by the oath now, until death.”

I started walking away in disgust, not caring if he followed me. A moment later, I heard his footsteps join mine, crunching a few feet behind me.

“You know,” I said quietly, looking straight ahead as I walked. “I may not have listened to you. But that was not the oath I wanted.”

Kyle didn’t say a word.

I continued. “I meant every word I said. I assume you did too, so I truly do not know why I am telling you this, but every word I said was true. You have been my best friend since that day you found me in the stables. My companion, the only person I could talk to as an equal.”

He stumbled behind me. I paused my steps until I heard him resume walking, but I did not turn my head.

“I truly love you.” My voice was barely a whisper. “I always have. Did you not ever wonder? At my feelings, at your own? Am I…incorrect in assuming you ever felt the same way about me?” 

I held my breath, unsure of the answer, unsure if I would even receive one, or one I even wanted to hear.

Kyle didn’t speak for a long moment. We were almost down the mountain when I finally heard him exhale and begin to speak. Neither of us looked at the other.

“Thank you for your honesty. Truly. I have always…tried to protect you and help you in whatever way I could.”

I couldn’t help groaning. “Just tell me the truth!” I turned to look at him. “I thought you always told me the truth, even when it was hard! Was I wrong about any of it? All of it? Tell me now! Just tell me! If there was ever a time for your honest truth, it’s RIGHT NOW!”

Kyle finally lost his composure. “Of course I did, Belle! I knew everything. Your feelings for me, mine for you, and most importantly, how bad it would be if we ever acted on them in any way.”

I blinked slowly, tears spilling again. Surprisingly, there are tears in Kyle’s eyes too. I opened my mouth, then shut it and turned away.

“Thank you,” I said stiffly, walking over to my horse. I started undoing his tether as Kyle walked up behind me.

He sighed. “I’m sorry, Lady Isabelle.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“I am sorry though.” Kyle boosted me into my saddle without waiting for the request. 

I looked over at him from atop my horse, quiet as he mounted his own. 

Finally, I spoke one last time. “I just want to say one more thing, and then we will put this whole matter behind us, assuming our new roles to each other, understood?” 

I hated taking my official tone with him, but Kyle just nodded calmly, waiting for my words.

“I will never forget what you have done. I have wished for years to take an oath with you before me, but it was not that one, and now it never will be. That decision will haunt me for the rest of my life, having been taken away from me without my consent. But as it stands now, I will be forced to move on, and you will be forced to watch as I marry another and bear children that should have been yours. I never cared about your status, or mine, for that matter. I would have left with you the moment you breathed a word of it. Thank you for protecting me. Should the moment arrive that we are to flee, I will go with my household, you behind me. Until then, I think it best that we keep our distance.”

I turned my horse in the direction of my house and urged my horse on, not looking back at him.

I didn’t want him to see the tears streaming down my cheeks.

"I pledge to you my life-"

"wh-what?"

"As your protector and knight"

"wait stop. No-"

"to serve you-"

"please stop. Not like this"

"and stand behind you"

"No- stand with me n-not-"

"I pledge to you my loyalty and from this moment on. I shall honor and protect, put your liege before my own-"

"stop. I bid you to take it back!"

"From now my life is yours and I shall serve you with honor"

"This is no oath I ever desire from you!"

"I shall become the sword that will protect you"

"There must be another way-"

"I will aid you to the top"

"There's no height I will reside upon without you by my side!"

"I am your loyal servant"

"No- you're the only one who isn't. You're my companion, my love, the only one by my side. Don't do this, please"

"who will reside behind you until my bones turn to dust and my heart sets to a stop"

"N-no.....please"

"Oh. Yeah, it was tricky. Thankfully, I'm very smart. What do you think?"

"Unfortunately, I'm impressed."

“How could you?” “I can expla-“ “No, I don’t mean morally. Logistically how could you even pull something like this off?”