Strangely Miss The Summer I Spent Feeling Like I Had To Repent For Being 'inherently Evil', Doing Coke,

living in a city known for being weird means getting sad when someone takes the free stuff on the street that i had previously decided was mine (i miss you artwork i found opposite my house </3)

Bit too much for the instagram but this painting came out better than I thought it would:)

Once again I am unable to sleep because my brain cannot understand that I am safe in my own home and not every bit of shadow and darkness is someone out to get me (i will eventually sleep for an hour and then get a horrendous nightmare) (i am mourning the way i could be if my brain worked properly)

very few of my tattoos have meaning but this one is quite personal, its a reference to a lot of the art i've done over the years which is lovely and a reminder that creating things is something i'll always enjoy, but also i came up with the idea for it in the last potentially not good mental health period i had (too many drugs mixed with being confused about everything that was going on at the time) where i kept questioning if there was something after death and (not in a bad way) if i wanted to be on this earth and feeling like i was meant to just be floating around in another realm instead of being a person, it felt very similar to past periods i've had of feeling like i was somehow morally evil (which were normally accompanied by a lot of art with crosses and angels and feeling like i had to repent/i deserve to feel negatively about myself) and feeling somewhat spiritual and this tattoo feels like a way of maybe giving myself some grace(?) in those times and not embracing the thoughts i had in those times but admitting that, that was me and sometimes continues to be a part of me which is nice and feels relieving in some way and like i can move on

Hmmmm badly done stick and poked words on my body…. mmmm I need it

is it not fun to feel many other ways?

Being trans is strange because I don’t particularly have an issue with my body, in fact I quite like it, I feel just as manly (went I want to) as any cis man, however I know that wider society generally does not see it that way and to be seen as even potentially on the same level as a cis man I have to change it and hate it in its current state for some reason