I Close My Eyes, Hoping That I Don't Come Off Contentious

drama queen

(how could I not love him?)

hc that gojo satoru is a TERRIBLE cook but when it comes to baking?? bro could open a dessert shop.

"Satoru, what the fuck did you do now?" You mumble, trudging into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you're rudely awoken by the smell of something burning.

"I dont know, babe, I was trynna make scrambled eggs and then the eggs just didnt.... scramble," he whines, a pout on his lips as he turns around to face you, spatula in hand. Or what was left of the spatula... because this man had somehow managed to melt it.

"Toru. Is the spatula melted."

"....No?" he trails off, as you both stare at the clearly misshapen plastic horror that he's holding.

You just sigh, throwing your head back in exasperation. "How the fuck did you even manage that?"

"Girl, I dont know! I followed the tutorial step by step, I SWEAR!" He exclaims, eyes wide as he points frantically to his phone, currently propped up on the kettle, open to a Youtube video on how to make scrambled eggs.

"I'm crying - THERE'S NO WAY you needed a tutorial for scrambled eggs. And you still managed to fuck it up. Oh my god, this is too good." Your laughter is nothing short of diabolical, while he just stands there with the biggest pout on his face.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT?? The eggs just stopped egging, I'm telling you."

You just stare at him, deadpan. "I'm banning you from cooking. Officially. For the rest of our lives. I'm declaring this a Satoru Gojo-free kitchen,"

"HUH?? But babeeeee, what if I wanna make you breakfast in bedddd." Sigh. What a whiny bitch.

"You can order it. I don't trust your culinary skills."

Before he could protest, the sound of a timer rings out, and Satoru visibly perks up, rushing towards the oven. "Yesss, they're ready. Fucking finallyyy!!" He all but shouts in victory.

Your mouth drops open in absolute shock when he pulls out a tray of the most perfect, golden-brown croissants you've ever seen, flaky layers stacked with precision. You stare at him like he just grew a second head. "B-but you... eggs - not scrambled. Plastic melted... What the fuck." You splutter head darting back and forth between the disaster on the stove and the miracle in Satoru's hands.

"How do you suck at cooking the most basic thing, but you can bake like a fucking Parisian pattisier?"

Your menace of a boyfriend just shrugs, placing a croissant on a plate and handing it to you like he didn't just give you whiplash. "Croissant?"

(You devoured more than half of the tray.)

── .✦ main masterlist || jjk masterlist

ミ★ notes from star: comments and reblogs always appreciated!

Sukuna having no clue on how to propose so you just randomly wake up one day with an engagement ring on your finger.

And you're just so confused and panicking and when Sukuna wakes up next to you and grumbles "You're being too loud, wife-to-be." you are even more thrown off.

"T-This isn't how you're supposed to do it!"

"And if I did it any other way, you would have still said yes."

"Well... yes. But that's not that point—!"

You can never win against this guy.

i love his backshots. 😛

I could NEVER being the same room as Gojo, I be getting a little too hungry sometimes. I'll have to be put down like a dog.

If you notice me reblogging

a repost

stolen art

false information

etc.

please let me know, you’re not rude or annoying and I actually do give a fuck and I will correct my mistake, thank you

i love london

Reading the same fanfic every 5 hours

. . . ݁˖ ꩜ . ݁⊹ JAZIRAH! . . . She/her ᾬ ⸻ ⋆ princess yapper , Satoru's wife. ..in satoru's bed rn ⸻ randomly active. ✦

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