How Do People Listen To Sleeping At Last And Not Go Absolutely Bonkers?? Like

for the uneducated “crow” is a derogatory name the wildlings call the night’s watch and tormund took this and started softly calling jon “pretty crow” and “my little crow”... not only is it some fruity nonsense it’s got this layer of loving the enemy that drives me up the fucking wall

so, um.

i've been thinking about "pilgrimage" for a while now. and about how we still haven't reached much of a consensus on what we're expecting from that episode.

pilgrimage. definition: a journey, especially a long and difficult one, made to some sacred or important place, typically as an act of devotion, or in search of deeper meaning, healing, or understanding.

the way this show works, i'm expecting to see all the characters on their own personal pilgrimages. some of them are easier to imagine than others.

maddie and chim taking jee-yun on her first beach trip, maybe. maddie, reconciling and processing both her harrowing, terrifying time in the ocean and her fear of jee near water. chimney, there to support her. both of them anchoring and grounding themselves in each other's presence, in the security of their family, and in the comfort that comes from teaching jee-yun to swim. watching her safely doggy paddle and splash and play in the shallow water, a lifejacket on her shoulders and a smile on her face, with the knowledge that she's safe and happy with both of her parents.

hen, finishing med school. becoming a doctor, finally, after her long journey of stress and studying and sleepless nights. she worked so, so hard to get here, and it was worth it. she doesn't necessarily have to leave her job and her home at the 118- she could be captain there someday, after all! but she's armed with so much more knowledge now, knowledge and training that will help her save even more lives, whether that's in a hospital or out in the field. and that medical license? it will help her advocate for every patient she treats, especially the ones overlooked by the medical system- her mom comes to mind. it forces everyone to take her seriously, to give her the respect she deserves, from the moment she introduces herself to them. and above all else, she will have proven to herself that she can do it. that she can chase each and every one of her dreams, at her pace and on her terms. just like she quit her pharma job, just like she became a firefighter despite eva's lack of support- only now, she has the support and encouragement from all her family and friends.

bobby, taking a trip to minnesota. maybe athena's with him, maybe may and harry. or maybe not. the fire at dispatch brought back a lot of old pain for him, even as saving may helped heal some of his oldest wounds. a karmic balancing of the scales, in a way- we know bobby tends to see things that way. but may isn't brooke. bobby buried a wife, a son, a daughter. and visiting their resting place to pay his respects, to tell them about his sobriety, about his new family, about how he creates families everywhere he goes now, about how much he misses them every day but despite it all he hasn't stopped living- that's a pilgrimage. and one i think he sorely needs to take, in order to heal.

for a while, i thought buck might take a trip back to hershey in this episode. but now i'm not so sure. eddie's already been back to el paso, and aside from that, i wasn't sure what a pilgrimage might look like, for him.

but then it hit me.

buck and eddie, going back to the site of the shooting. together. talking about it, processing it- as frank put it, "maybe you should talk about your pain with someone who shares it. think about your trauma. and then talk to someone who can understand exactly what you've been through."

that would be a pilgrimage, wouldn't it?

there's this scene in survivors, that i don't think we talk about enough- understandably, considering everything else going on in that episode. it's a quiet, blink-and-you'll-miss-it little moment between bobby and athena, that takes place only a handful of scenes after buck hauls eddie into the fire engine and desperately tries to keep him from bleeding out. and it goes like this:

athena: you know, after i was attacked, we never really talked about it.

bobby: well, i always got the sense you didn't want to.

athena: no, i mean... we never talked about what it was like for you.

bobby: there's that thing people say... 'i don't know what i'd do without you'. because losing someone you love is such an alien concept. you don't want to imagine what it's like. and i was sitting in that engine thinking i was listening to you dying. and i didn't need to imagine anything. i knew what my life would feel like without you in it. and it scared me.

👀

so, yeah. pilgrimage. i'm a firm believer in buck and eddie having their first kiss in the kitchen- i'm ready to tell you that i'm in love with you, so i'm telling you now, because i need you to know how loved you are, but i also know you need more time, and i will wait right here until you're ready for me too.

but when it comes time for a mutual display of commitment, that we're really doing this, i'm all in if you're all in, for better or for worse moment? i can't think of a better spot than the intersection where everything changed. episode one gave us a call where a man was shot by what looked to be a (large caliber) bullet, but was revealed to be a symbol of gay love and commitment- life saving for one man yet simultaneously life threatening for another. the thing that hurts is sometimes the thing that heals.

remember the funny little thing eddie said to buck in survivors, right before it all went south?

should have gotten here sooner.

pilgrimage: that street corner, no blood in sight. foreheads pressed together, leaning close, shaky hands on each other's faces, teary eyes. a kiss, maybe, or maybe not- the meaning's still the same.

buck, to eddie: nah. we're right on time.

- It’s really good to see you. - It’s good to see you.

We’re not heroes. We’re from Finchley.

insp.

Shinarthur hc part2

-It’s cannon that Shinra likes break dancing but I think Arthur prefers ballroom dancing but is more than happy to watch and participate in Shinra’s favourite type of dancing.

-Arthur tried it once but ended up straining his wrist and making a fool of himself. It was pretty embarrassing- but Shinras laughter was totally worth it.

-Vulcan 100% was the first one to comment on their feelings in Company 8. Everyone else knew something was up but was to respectful to comment. Vulcan however has no chill.

-Obi is a bit worried as your not allowed to work in the same Company as your SO and some Companies are very religious. But despite all that Sister Iris and may other Company leaders have been very supportive, if not confused.

-Princess Hibana 100% tried to set those dumbasses up. And is totally their hype women. After she gets past the fact that Shinra doesn’t like her, she realises she respected him more than loved him. (I mean she still does love him. It’s just no longer romantic)

-Ogun is never the 3rd wheel. Mainly because it’s a fucking tricycle ride with those 3, as only one of them has the singular brain cell at any one time. Furthermore, Shinra and Arthur aren’t much different than they use to be and the only difference there is, is that they are all more physically affectionate with each other and there’s more pet names and flirting.

-Ogun also likes to tease them about their relationship and how long it took for them to actually get together. Arthur and Shinra don’t really mind it, and tease Ogun back for embarrassing things he said and did in an effort to play matchmaker.

-Obi is very supportive but ends up acting as a parental figure and gives the boys individual the ‘shovel talks’. It’s pretty funny to outsiders but the duo are pretty horrified in the moment.

-Iris 100% is also supportive but because of religious reasons doesn’t really ‘get it’ for a while but after Maki explains everything, she is ready to fight anyone who is homophobic.

-also Iris ends up coming out as bi later on, everyone supports her.

-Tamiki ends up using they/them pronouns and Shinra and them bond over being non binary, victor joins them as he is also non binary.

-victor uses all pronouns.

-Hibana likes to tease them about how they ever ended up together and she and Arthur have this friendship where they both ‘insult/make fun of each other’

-After Arthur tells Shinra about him being abandoned, Shinra decides that he is never leaving Arthur ever (not that he planned to) and doesn’t leave his side for 2 weeks. Arthur reassures him that he knows Shinra won’t abandon him but makes him promise to always come back and not die.

-Both of them have a lot of trauma and spend countless nights up late processing and supporting each other through it.

-They end up getting therapy at some point and they often go together for support and comfort

i just think it’s interesting

Thinking about the absolute banger of a line we are sure to get with Eddie's love confession.

That man is THEE sappiest, THEE most unabashedly romantic of all of them. Can you imagine what he's going to say to Buck when an unrepressed Eddie finally lets himself say the words? After everything he's already said to Buck? Even while he was repressed as hell? We're not just getting a simple "I love you," that's for sure.

I am vibrating out of my skin thinking about it...

I can’t even think about it too much because it drives me up the wall. Eddie has such a way with words. He says things with so much sincerity and so much love that’s it’s impossible not to melt.

My favorite thing, too, is that everyone thinks he’s more or less put together, careful with selecting his words, etc., but when he’s with buck exclusively, he also does this little rambling thing that’s so disgustingly endearing. We’ve only seen a glimpse of it when he was with Shannon, but it’s magnified tenfold with Buck.

When he removes his filter, though??? We are, without a doubt, getting a whole ass love confession for the storybooks from that man.

Teacher: I changed the due date for that project I assigned you all, it's due tomorrow!

Class: *screams*

Teacher: Got you! April fools!

Rin: Haha, who needs April Fools when your entire life is one big, sick joke!

Rin: ...

Rin: ...I'm about to start crying.

Suguro: Shit, dude. C'mere.

Rin, in Suguro's arms: I was raised in a monastery, Suguro. A monastery! The son of Satan, raised in a monastery! My LAST NAME is a play on the word "demon" in Japanese!

Rin, now sobbing: IT'S ONE HUGE FUCKING JOKE WITHOUT A PUNCHLINE