Latest Posts by wild-thingslayhere - Page 2

Morning Light Calling; for my friend @silvaris

© riverwindphotography, August 2022

Twinberry leaves sparkle with new raindrops, Shoshone National Forest, Wyoming

© riverwindphotography, August 2022

Crystalline Cascades

© gif by riverwindphotography, August 2022

https://href.li/?https://www.artstation.com/sungchoi

LASAHIDO

Mario V artstation.com

Green Witch at Work - Photography by Susan Tuttle

Norway // Hans Holmbee

Dark Forest by James Mills jamesmillsphotography.com

I'm sick in bed, someone rub my head and read me a story

Sick Prompts 1

Angry sickies: 

1. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me… I was fine this morning.” 2. “Leave me alone.” 3. “Don’t touch me again unless you want me to puke on you.” 4. “Can you shut up? My head is killing me.” 5. “I told you I didn’t feel good, and you made me come here anyway.” 6. “This is ridiculous, how are you not sick and I am?”

Sad Sickies:

7. “Please don’t leave me in here alone.” 8. “It hurts so bad… please make it stop.” 9. “I think I need to throw up…” 10. “Is there any Pepto left?” 11. “Can you just sit with me until it’s over?” 12. “My stomach really hurts, I don’t think I can make it tonight…”

In-Denial Sickies:

13. “I don’t get sick.” 14. “I have a stomach of steel.” 15. “It’s not a fever, I’ve been in the sun…” 16. “I’m not going to throw up, for the last time.” 17. “I don’t think it’s food poisoning. We ate the same thing, and I don’t feel bad at all.” 18. “It’s just allergies.” 19. “I don’t get sick on rides/in the car/on boats (specify)”

Tactile Sickies:

20. “Will you rub my back?” 21. “Can you feel my head to see if I have a fever?” 22. “Will you play with my hair?” 23. “I’m freezin’, can we cuddle?”

Don’t Touch Me Sickies

24. “Don’t touch my stomach right now.” 25 “Please stop touching me… I’m so gross.” 26. “You’re making me hot, I can’t sleep…” 27. “Your hands are freezing, don’t touch me.”

Queasy Sickies

28. “I don’t know what I was thinking… I shouldn’t have ordered that.” 29. “Um… I think I need a bin.” 30. “I think I’m going to be sick soon.” 31. “Something’s messing with my stomach.” 32. “My stomach’s bothering me.” 33. “I don’t feel so hot.” 34. “Ugh, I think I should probably get to a bathroom.”

Sniffly Sickies

35. “Can we get actual tissues instead of these paper towels? My nose hurts.” 36. “I can’t breathe.” 37. “I’m freezing and sweating at the same time…” 38. “Please don’t look at me.” 39. “My head’s killing me…” 40. “My throat hurts so bad I can’t even drink water.” 41. “Do you have a cough drop?”

My Fav Drunk Sickies

42. “Um, I think… I think I had too much.” 43. “What was in that? I don’t feel great…” 44. “I think I need’ta sit.” 45. “I need to get out of here, I’m gonna throw up.” 46. “I just need to eat something and I’ll be ok.” 47. “It’s not fun anymore, I’m dizzy…”

Caretakers!

48. “Just relax, you’re going to be fine…” 49. “Calm down, you’re going to make it worse.” 50. “Well, just take care of yourself then, if you don’t want me touching you.” 51. “Do you think you can stomach some water?” 52. “We need to get this fever down.” 53. “Do you want me to rub your back/stomach?” 54. “Don’t cry. Where do you hurt?” 55. “Keep your head in the trashcan until you’re done.” 56. “If you don’t stop soon, we’re going to the ER.” 

because I haven't seen a whole heap of decent information about this... I thought I'd do a beginner's guide to dissociation

disorders that can cause dissociation include:

DID/OSDD

PTSD

depression

OCD

BPD

DPDR

anxiety

eating disorders

some people also experience dissociation due to chronic pain

being dissociated can feel like, but is not limited to:

feeling disconnected from the world

feeling "blurry", "buzzy", "foggy", or "out of it"

not feeling any emotions

not feeling any physical pain

not remembering whole periods of time

feeling like you're floating outside of your body

your brain constantly going in and out of focus

dissociation is generally broken down into two categories:

derealisation: the feeling that the world around you is unreal, foggy, or just out of reach

depersonalisation: the feeling of being outside of yourself, or of not feeling real

I hope this is a helpful post, and that I've made people more aware of what dissociation actually is. if you have any follow-up questions, please feel free to ask!

I am learning to imagine the future:

My sycamore tree began life in the gravel at the edge of a parking lot. If trees can feel pain, that is a painful, unlucky death. I carefully dug it up and put it in a pot I made out of a disposable cup.

Hello small one. This world may be cruel, but I will not be.

I decided to take care of it, not expecting it to survive, and when my sycamore tree unfurled one tiny leaf and then another, it chiseled a tiny foothold in my terrified brain, the kind of brain that doesn't remember a world before the atomic bomb and before 9/11.

I googled the lifespans of trees. My neurons had to stretch and expand to accommodate what I learned: My sycamore tree may live five hundred years. It's hard to think something so big. In twenty years, my baby sycamore tree will be three stories tall, and the home of many creatures. In five years, my sycamore tree will be taller than I am. In one year, it will be summer.

There's this concept called sense of foreshortened future where people who have lived through trauma can't conceptualize a future for themselves because deep down they don't expect to survive, When I look forward, all I see is fire and death, melting ice and burning sky. We were raised Evangelical. All we see is Judgment Day, except there is no heaven.

But now there is a tiny gap in the wall, a crack in the door of my cell

and on the other side, I see a tree

There is, in the future, a great old sycamore tree, full of clean winds and the stir of a thousand wings. A hundred years from now. Fifty years from now. There will be forests in that world. There will be a world.

It takes courage, but we have to imagine it.

Most tree species can live in excess of three or four hundred years. I think I'm learning something. I think there are ancient voices saying hello small one, touch the dirt and the leaves, for now you are part of something that cannot die

in 2030 I will be thirty years old and the world will not have ended and there will still be hummingbirds, and we will have photos of the stars more beautiful than we can now imagine.

I planted an Eastern Redcedar; they may live nine hundred years. There will be nine hundred years. The people in that time will remember us. Maybe we will meet the aliens (hi aliens!).

I will blow out the candles on many birthday cakes in a world where there are wolves in dark forests far from home. I am learning to imagine the future. I learned recently that elk were reintroduced to the Appalachian Mountains after over a hundred years of extirpation, and that they are expanding their range.

That tiny crack I can see through now opens a tiny bit more:

Maybe elk will pass through my hometown, maybe there will be a forest where the pasture is on the high hill that I can see from my home

say it, say it, say it: ten years, thirty years, a hundred years from now

I am learning to imagine the future. There is a crack in the wall of this prison, of this machine, of this darkness, and through it, I see a tree.

kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.

i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."

goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'

"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.

behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."

"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."

"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."

later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."

she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.

the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?

i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.

but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.

each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".

but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.

daily life of a digital artist:

is that a not coloured spot or a stain on my monitor

I didn’t save for at least 2 hours god is real

my playlist ended 1,5 h ago I’ve been drawing in silence this whole time

‘ “asdf11.png” already exists. Do you want to overwrite? ‘

I resized this very part of a picture but now it looks too small so let’s ctrl+z ohMYGOD IT’S SO B I G

this idea seemed cooler yesterday at 3 am

I want to pee but right now I’m doing so well and if I go I will leavE THE ZONE

opacity 67% or 68% I can’t decide

well this pic looks nice //*flips it horizontally*// I regret having eyes

where the fuck is my pen

Edward Harrison Compton Studies by Jordan Grimmer