OH MY GOOOOOOOD YES!

Soap: What did you do on break, Lt?

Ghost: Rode my bike and slept in an alleyway behind a bar.

Gaz: Checks out... (leaves the room)

Ghost: ...

Ghost: Want to know what I really did?

Soap: (immediately interested)

Soap: Yeah!

Ghost: (pulls out his phone)

Ghost: (shows picture of him having someone cuddled up next to him, both under a blanket, two switches in hand, both on the Stardew Valley logo screen)

Soap: (his smile falls immediately)

Soap: Wh—

Ghost: I played Stardew Valley with the missus.

Soap: The mi—?!

Ghost: Planted crops, went to the mines...

Ghost: (swipes through more pictures of them playing)

Soap: (stunned silence)

Ghost: Upgraded the house for the missus, made some town friends... (screenshots of more gameplay)

Soap: Wait—

Ghost: Even fishing. (shows a picture of him catching a legendary fish)

Ghost: The missus doesn't like fishing. (clicks his tongue) Caught them all though. (nods to himself)

Ghost: (smirks) Want to know why I'm telling you this?

Soap: (still stunned, but nods)

Ghost: Because nobody will believe you.

Ghost: (starts deleting all pictures in front of Soap)

Soap: (pained gasp)

Soap: Ye monster.

went to miami to recover father sotirios. and made some new friends.

these animals... they are wise. I recruited them to avenge my dear brother. I was then escorted out of the sea world.

Hello! For your Good Omens requests, how about an Aziraphale x Reader x Crowley where they teach the reader how to drive in the Bentley? I think it’s fun to think about the different ways the Bentley reacts to Azi and Crowley, and what relationship it might have with reader! Also I need something lighthearted and fluffy after season 2 :(

Thanks!

of course! my pleasure I love fluffy pieces like this 💕

Crowley x reader x Aziraphale (good omens)

“Don’t be afraid,” encourages Aziraphale, “it really is a lovely little car.”

“My car is neither lovely nor little. It is a classic, it is worth over half a million by now, and it is made for terrorising pensioners on A-roads,” Crowley snaps back. 

“Alright, I’m getting out —” you begin, but as you go to move you’re suddenly met with both of them begging you not to and apologising. 

You’ve had your eye on driving the Bentley for a while, but sort of in the same way someone walking past a rottweiler in a front garden every day might have an idea to reach over and give it a scratch. You’re fascinated but aware that it could be very dangerous. 

Crowley loves you but wasn’t too sure about the idea of letting a human drive his prized possession. Luckily Aziraphale is very good at just telling Crowley what is going to happen rather than asking his permission; for domestic matters like these, anyway. So your devil reluctantly agreed on the condition he was there to supervise - and Aziraphale didn’t want to miss the fun. 

Besides, in a more practical sense, what if both of them were unable to drive and you needed to get them somewhere? Crowley refuses to get in your Hyundai. There needs to be a backup plan. 

“Just be gentle,” Aziraphale suggests. 

“But assertive,” Crowley adds quickly. 

“Alright. Gentle but assertive. Just like in bed,” you mutter. Crowley snorts and Aziraphale makes a little noise in the back of his throat. 

You turn on the ignition, listening to the way it starts immediately. Firmly grip the wheel in one hand and the gearstick in the other. 

“Please be kind to me,” you mutter to the dashboard, “I think you’re a gorgeous, gorgeous car, and I want us to enjoy being around each other. Plus I’ll make sure to get you that nice wax Crowley only buys as a treat.”

The engine revs a little on its own, and you find first gear is engaged automatically. 

“Oh!” you beam as your favourite band begins to play on the radio, “You're right Aziraphale, this is lovely.”

Crowley is left sputtering with indignation as you pull away from the kerb. 

taglist: @idontmeanto @smile-eywa @candlewitch-cryptic @staygoldsquatchling02 @specter-soltare

Bro wtf?! 😂

soulmate au part 1

john price x f!reader

wc: 1.2k

unedited, forgive my mistakes.

since you were born, your world has been grey. you never thought anything of it, until at school, they started teaching you colours. the only ones in the room that could see more than just different shades of grey, apart from the teacher, were identical twins.

weird.

you went home and asked your parents.

"we are born missing half of ourselves. we have a fated one, and when you meet them, your world will look the way it was meant to."

oh. but... "in class, there were twins that could see colour. what about them?"

they look surprised for a second until your dad softly explains. "in rare instances, the soulmate bond will be platonic. which makes sense in this case, because twins grow up with a connection regular people like us will never understand."

you nod and lower your gaze to look at your shoes. you wonder if the person meant for you is interested in junie b. jones books like you are.

-

in high school, you crush on this pretty girl— a cheerleader. her hair is long and beautiful, her face is small and round, and she's so kind. just your type.

but no colour stains your vision, so you burrow your emotions deep and mourn the loss of what could've been.

-

in college, one of your friends ask you if you've met your soulmate yet.

"no, not yet," you lament. what she says after freezes the blood in your veins.

"my mom knew someone whose soulmate was already dead before they had even been born," she comments while stabbing a grape tomato with her fork. "it was really tragic, because she'll never know what it's like to know a love that has no equal."

your heart is in your throat, and you find it hard to swallow the food in your mouth.

what if your soulmate is already dead? oh, god. you might just throw up. your friend doesn't seem to notice the change in your demeanor and continues to babble carelessly about how she knew someone that knew someone who's soulmate had turned out to be a murderer.

oh my fucking god.

you quickly run to the bathroom and throw up your lunch.

how cruel is the universe? to have no control over who is meant to be for you.

you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and lean against the stall of the bathroom. you should've known that this soulmate business was too good to be true.

cupping your hands, you rinse the taste of bile out of your mouth before walking back to your friend who stayed in her seat.

"jesus, you look terrible, you alright?" she asks.

running your fingers through your hair, you huff. "i've certainly been better. just got a bit nauseous, nothing serious. maybe it's a stomach bug."

"oooh, you better not be pregnant! what of your dreams of working in the medical field?"

you giggle at her response. "that'd be impossible unless i'm the virgin mary."

she gapes comically then leans in and whispers, "you're lying! don't tell me you haven't dated anyone just because they weren't your soulmate."

you shrug, and keep your eyes fixed on your half-eaten plate of food. "i don't really wanna talk about it, if that's alright with you. besides, you've got bigger things to worry about, like the upcoming exam for mr. richardson."

slapping a hand to her forehead, she exclaims, "oh, shit! i totally forgot! shit!"

you watch her inhale the rest of her salad and toss her trash before waving goodbye and sprinting toward the library.

with a sigh, you look down at your food. grey. lifeless. shaking your head, you pick up your plate and toss it in the bin.

you decide to focus solely on your studies. you have dreams of being a doctor and pining after someone you haven't even met yet would only serve as a distraction.

--

your white coat grazes your calves as you walk toward your new patient. standing outside the room, you pick up the clipboard.

Price, John. 34, Active Military.

he's the head of the task force! god, you've only heard stories of them from the other medics on base who have met them, so to finally come face to face with the man, the myth, the legend? you wipe your clammy hands on the fabric of your scrubs and clear your throat.

be professional, be professional. he's just another patient, it's no big deal.

rapping your knuckles on the door, you wait a second before twisting the knob with a shaky hand. you nervously keep your eyes on the clipboard as you walk in.

"good morning, captain price."

"mornin', doc," he rumbles.

oh, his deep voice just might be the end of you.

"you don't sound all that happy to be here, captain," you tease while flipping through his medical history papers.

he lets out a low chuckle, and you squeeze your thighs together at the sound. delicious.

"nothin' personal, doc. just don't like bein' here, you understand."

lightly laughing at his joke, you finally steel your nerves and look up at him.

only to have your vision bleed in something you don't understand. is that colour? is this what colour looks like?

the clipboard drops, clattering to the floor. john— being the courteous gentleman that he is— quickly kneels to grab it and lifts his head as he hands it to you.

he freezes in place, the clipboard slipping from his hands as he stares at you.

you thickly swallow, and dumbly question, "do you...has your....colour? can you see colour?"

unblinking, john's eyes are fixated on you as he remains silent.

your eyes dart around to take in his features. his brightly-coloured eyes are framed by lines that hint at his age, his strong jaw adorned by a mutton-chop beard. his nose is specked with a beauty mark.

"what colour are your eyes, captain?" you softly ask.

he closes his mouth and takes in a sharp breath. "i've been told they're blue."

"blue," you smile. the eyes of your soulmate are blue.

but then, your delighted smile melts off your face, in horror.

there's a shiny band on his finger. he's married.

john price, your soulmate, is fucking married.

your vision distorts with the tears that threaten to spill and bite your bottom lip to stop it from trembling. it feels like there are shards of glass in your lungs, cutting you open with each quivering breath you take. your pain is red-hot, searing under your skin, flowing through your veins like molten lead.

john knows exactly what you're looking at.

"love—" he starts but you cut him off swiftly.

"don't. you don't owe me anything, captain. uhm, but uh... maybe it's best that we switch your doctors, yeah? conflict of interest, and all that."

you all but run away, away from that room, from him.

how terribly unlucky.

you head towards your office, which is down the hall, and slam the door closed. only then, do you cry, and mourn what should've been.

tomorrow is just an illusion we believe

I really wanted to draw this pose with them. Halfway through the first sketch I thought, you know what would be really interesting? The same pose, exact same expressions, with a wildly different context. @elwenyere​ and I are lovingly cooking up a Fake Imperial Husbands AU where nothing is as it seems to be. So, how much of the perception of them would actually change? Turns out, they look even sadder in grey. This has been a hugely fun experiment with colors and greyscale and context. ElmoOnFire.gif

art posts are here and here

So, I just found out...

(He might be in the doghouse right now but I'm not posting names) Sorry if it seems a jumbled mess. Kinda just wrote everything as it came to mind.

So I got off the phone with my boyfriend a few minutes ago....our relationship is still new. We've only been together for about two and a half months and he recently moved to Alaska so now we're long distance. He just signed the papers for his new place and he and his new roommate were getting to know each other. Well he was drinking and apparently had too much. He'd told that he's been in a long distance relationship before but it didn't end well cause he cheated on her. Honestly I'd hoped it wouldn't happen to us but I couldn't keep this nagging feeling in the back of me mind that it would. I just didn't think it would be so soon. He hasn't even been up there for two weeks and then this happens. He was up front and answered my questions about what happened. He was apologetic and sounded sincere. I'm about to go on a short deployment and I'm gonna have this hovering over me the entire time. I told him I can't trust him now and he said he doesn't expect me to. I just....I don't know where we go from here. He said he doesn't want to lose me but that it's not his choice and that he'll respect my decision whatever it is. I don't want this to be what breaks us but at the same time I have to entertain the idea that this could happen again in our careers/life. I'm sad and disappointed than upset. Is that wrong? I don't know what I should be feeling about this. We've talked about kids and where we'd like to live and even the breeds and number of dogs we'll have. (it's a lot by the way. The dogs, not kids.) I still want him in my life but with our careers this probably won't be the last time we're long distance for a time.

Gaz, absolutely plastered: Hey Ghost I wonder what would happen if I hit you with this chair?

Ghost, equally obliterated: Let’s find out

When I say “Fanfiction is free” part of what I’m saying is yes, you did not pay for the thing.

But I saw a comment from someone that made me realize the rest of the intention behind these words is being lost.

Fanfiction is provided for free, but it is not produced for free.

Authors pay their effort, including physical and emotional and mental. Authors pay their time, in planning the story (mental time) and writing the story (physical time). Sometimes it’s less than an hour for something quick and dirty, like askbox prompts. Sometimes it’s years of their lives in epic fic hundreds of thousands of words long. Authors pay additional time to alpha read their own stories, trying to make sure that they’re free of SPAG errors and make sense and sound good. Beta readers pay their time and effort alongside the authors for editing the stories. Authors pay for posting their stories with all of the anxieties that come from allowing their work - which to this point they have invested all of the above - into the public eye because while it has certainly cost them a good amount to produce the story, fandom history has proved that many other people out there enjoy fanfiction, and authors believe that at least someone else will enjoy their story, too.

What I am saying when I say “fanfiction is free” is that it costs the writers a lot of something in order to produce it. A lot has already been paid into a piece of fanfiction by the time it is available for readers to read. The expense of fanfiction creation is, by and large, resting squarely atop the shoulders of writers.

What I am saying when I say “fanfiction is free” is that readers don’t have to pay the cost of creating fanfiction.

What I am saying when I say “fanfiction is free” is that readers don’t have to pay in anything - not time, not money, not effort, not anything - in order for fanfiction to be created. It’s a donation. It’s a gift. It’s available for you to take or leave, at the expense of someone else.

Writers have, for a very long time, requested donations of one thing as remuneration for everything they put into making fanfiction: comments. Authors have asked, in so many different iterations: “If you have consumed what I have labored and invested in to create and if you have found any enjoyment in it, please tell me, so that I can recharge enough to do this again.” Some of them may recharge on critical comments, but most of us don’t because we’ve already paid everything we want to pay to create the story.

What I am saying when I say “fanfiction is free” isn’t just that it doesn’t cost you any money. I am saying “Please respect the time and effort you didn’t have to pay into creating this thing you enjoyed, by respecting the individual creator’s requests.”

What I am saying when I say “fanfiction is free” is “be kind to authors, they have paid a lot for this gift they’re sharing with all of us, and they deserve to feel like it was worth it.”

What I am saying when I say “fanfiction is free” is “please don’t charge authors more time and emotional effort than what they’ve already provided you at no absolute cost.”

I’m not saying any of this to argue. It’s a fact that authors pay into providing fanfiction. They do it for fun. They do it out of love. They do it because they enjoy writing. No one is making them do it. No one is paying them to start or finish the story. That doesn’t mean it’s not WORK. And the only return they get on what they put into the story is the kindness of strangers that invest a little bit back by leaving a nice comment. That is why they stay, that is why they do it again, that is why we have fanfiction.

What I am saying when I say “fanfiction is free” is “please don’t be the one charging authors so much more that they leave.”

What I am saying when I say “fanfiction is free” is “please keep it that way.”

I dunno why this makes me happy but I love it. Especially since I gave away some of my stuffies this past weekend 😭

all your stuffed animals love you. they're not sad if they're in a box, or on the floor, or not held/played with as much. they understand. they know that you might need another stuffie more, or that you don't have enough space. they're just happy to be with you, and if you ever give them away, they'll be happy there too. stuffies are for comfort. they understand. they love you too. it's okay.