“Instead Of Letting Labels Like Romantic And Platonic (or Friend Versus Partner) Guide Actions And

“Instead of letting labels like romantic and platonic (or friend versus partner) guide actions and expectations, it is possible for the desires themselves to guide actions and expectations. More effective than relying on labels to provide instruction is skipping directly to asking for what we want—around time, touch, commitment, and so on as David Jay wrote—regardless of whether those desires confuse hardline ideas of what these two categories are supposed to look like. When the desires don’t fit the labels, it is often the labels that should be adjusted or discarded, not the desires. If everyone is behaving ethically, it doesn’t matter if a relationship doesn’t fit into a preconceived social role, if it feels neither platonic nor romantic or if it feels like both at the same time.”

Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

More Posts from Whos-the-seme and Others

6 years ago
I Keep All The Letters And Birthday Cards I’ve Ever Gotten. ☺️☺️☺️ So Nostalgic For The

I keep all the letters and birthday cards I’ve ever gotten. ☺️☺️☺️ So nostalgic for the good old days. #nostalgia #letters #birthdaycard #remembering #rememberme


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6 years ago
Bookcase Full Of Books And Disney Cassettes New And Old. Brings Back The Good Ol’ Days. 😌😌😌

Bookcase full of books and Disney cassettes new and old. Brings back the good ol’ days. 😌😌😌 https://www.instagram.com/p/Bl6i1kDHhkJ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1i64s0mzkvx84

1 month ago

Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster, on account that a bunch of monsters can turn you into a monster by biting you. Vampires, werewolves, zombies. those are the big ones, there are others

3 months ago

Someone should honestly write a "4 Times That Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu Accidentally Acted Like Partners (and 1 Time They Finally Realized It)" thing. That would be so fun.

Here's some of what I got so far, though they're a tad incomplete. Feel free to add on!!!

Sharing a Bed

Shen Qingqiu stumbled into the peak lord meeting right before the starting time, eyes barely even open. He was impeccably dressed, as always, but the slight puffiness of his eyes and the way he was fighting back a yawn signaled to the fact that he might have rolled out of bed barely 5 minutes before.

He ignored the stares that he received as he made his way over and slid into the seat next to Shang Qinghua, groaning. Shang Qinghua raised his eyebrow at him, mildly amused. For once, he was the slightly well-rested one and his friend was the sleep-deprived mess. Despite this, he started pouring a cup of tea for the other.

"Shen-shixiong, did you even sleep properly? You were the one who told me to go home and get more sleep." He finished pouring the tea and passed the cup to his friend, before pouring himself a cup.

Shen Qingqiu groaned even louder at his words but accepted the cup. "I know, I know. I just couldn't get to sleep, though." He took a small sip and sighed in delight. "It's just that your bed is so much more comfortable than mine, so--"

Shang Qinghua, midway through drinking his tea, choked.

Silence.

Absolute silence. Mu Qingfang slowly put down his brush while Qi Qingqi's eyes darted between Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu, a smile spreading on her face.

Shen Qingqiu's slowly turning cog wheels finally realizes what he just said and the people he just said it in front of. Shang Qinghua made a slight wheezing sound.

Yue Qingyuan set down his own teacup, smiling pleasantly. "Shang-shidi's bed?"

"His guest bed!" Shen Qingqiu nearly yells. "I meant to say his guest bed, obviously that's where I sleep when I stay over, where else would I sleep, of course! I sleep in the bed that is not his!"

Shang Qinghua begins to nod his head frantically. "Yes, yes, he sleeps in my guest bed." Noticing the still dangerous glint in Yue Qingyuan's eyes, he begins to wave his hands around as if trying to stave off his impending doom. "N-not that Shen Qingqiu sleeps over often, or anything, ahahaha! It's just a spare bed that I happen to have--"

"I see," Yue Qingyuan interrupts, still smiling. Never before has Shang Qinghua feared for his life like this. He continues cheerfully, "Thank you for the clarification. Why don't we get this meeting started."

2. Robe Mix-Up

Shit! Shen Qingqiu had completely forgotten that he had to teach a morning class and was running late. He might have had too much fun last night reading trashy novels and bitching about them with Shang Qinghua, only to forget his responsibilities to his students. Upon waking and realizing the sun was already up, he nearly shoved Shang Qinghua off the bed trying to get up.

In his hurry to look presentable and still arrive on time, Shen Qingqiu grabbed the nearest outer robe that he could find and slipped it on, while simultaneously trying to fix his hair. Shang Qinghua, the traitor, simply rolled over and muttered something in his sleep, despite the chaos. He rolled his eyes at his best friend, despite the other not being awake to see it.

Finally ready, Shen Qingqiu rushes out of his bamboo house and starts to speed-walk, doing his best to still look majestic and peak lord-like, and not like he was running late to his own class. In his hurry, he doesn't notice the wide-eyed looks he was garnering from the older disciples he passed.

It was only when he steps into the classroom, and the previously hushed whispers and laughter of the teens fall dead silent, that he notices that something is wrong. They all stare at him.

"Good morning, everyone," Shen Qingqiu says pleasantly. No response. What, did he have something on his face or something?? He discreetly wiped at his cheeks, wondering what they were looking at. "Did something happen?"

"Shizun... isn't that...?" Ming Fan hesitantly spoke up, eyeing the blue robes that his teacher was wearing.

Shen Qingqiu followed his disciple's line of sight and looked down.

Ah. An Ding Peak Lord Blue. He must have accidentally grabbed Shang Qinghua's robes when getting dressed this morning.

Wait.

Fuck.

Shen Qingqiu can feel his face freeze.

Another brave disciple spoke up. "A-are those Shang-shishu's--"

"No," Shen Qingqiu says. His eye began to switch.

"But--"

"I said no."

Unfortunately for him, word spread fast, and by midday meal, there were people whispering about the fact that Shen Qingqiu had left his residence wearing Shang Qinghua's robes.

Shang Qinghua tsk'd at him from over the tea table they were taking their lunch at on An Ding Peak. "You just had to take my robe, huh? If you wanted to wear my clothes so bad, you could have just asked." An Ding disciples gawked at them on their way to do errands. One walked into a wooden post.

Shen Qingqiu glared at him, ears still burning red from embarrassment. "Shut up, Qinghua."


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3 months ago

interwebs

Interwebs
Interwebs
Interwebs

i'm days late to this meme but i wasn't feeling good so pretend i posted this earlier than i did thank youuuu

6 years ago
Here Have A Sunset! 🌅 (at Fort Myers, Florida) Https://www.instagram.com/p/BsHHIprFmOA/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=13bs8k9cfe0wg

Here have a sunset! 🌅 (at Fort Myers, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsHHIprFmOA/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=13bs8k9cfe0wg

6 years ago
The World Is A Soft Shade Of Blue Https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt3Knp2nIQB/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ciipy7ytxipi

the world is a soft shade of blue https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt3Knp2nIQB/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ciipy7ytxipi

1 month ago

“you’re gonna be okay Buck, they’re gonna need you. I love you kid.” I’m KILLING myself let’s all KILL OURSELVES

2 months ago

Three times I drew Qinghua, three times he looks different

6 years ago

wowow

what’s christmas even like in non-christian families? in completely non-religious families? like what do you tell your children? “well, kids, we’re eating a whole lot of food and spending a fuckton of money spoiling you because some other people somewhere believe their holy lord and saviour and the greatest person to walk the earth was born 2000 years ago. here’s a playstation.”

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whos-the-seme - gay bog (b|w)itch
gay bog (b|w)itch

yo! they/them, queer. i live in the bog

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