Technoblade Speedrunning Adopting Ranboo (high School Edition): The Fanfic

some more small town sbi house because it’s been a criminally long time since I posted

Techno and Phil share a duplex

Tubbo and Tommy think Wilbur is the coolest thing ever and he’s a really great big brother

Tommy has a golden retriever collie mix named henry

Tubbo is two days older than Tommy

Tommy will occasionally, in a fit of rebellion, “move in” with Techno for a few days until he inevitably misses Tubbo too much and moves back in with Phil. Phil and techno just roll with it

Techno has a white Tibetan mastiff named Steve. Steve doesn’t do much

Tommy and Tubbo take one look at tall, gangly, socially awkward Ranboo and just go “big man needs us” and freaking adopt him and he just rolls with it because it’s affection and he couldn’t stop them anyway. Tommy is doing his very best to be a bad influence on Ranboo and Tubbo has threatened Techno with a custody war multiple times

Phil notices that Ranboo likes to be around the dogs but both dogs are very much someone else’s so he asks Ranboo if he wants a pet and they get him a bunny

Tommy and Tubbo have to be separated when either of them is sick because they’re both extra clingy when they’re sick and will get the other sick immediately. But it’s also very very hard to separate them

They swap back and forth between having breakfast at Techno’s or at Phil’s

Tommy and Phil are the same height, but Tommy is tall and Phil is short, I don’t make the rules

They have one car. It used to be Techno’s 

“What’s a fate worse than death? Continuing to live.”

and

“That was pain, this is suffering.”

i think are two of my favorite quotes from unus annus

*grabs you by the shoulders*

You don’t know how long this actually took me-

ANYWAY HAPPY (BELATED) ANNIVERSARY SANDERS SIDES!!

i’m always soft for damien. he’s so sweet :’)

i made a character sheet. free to use as you wish, feel free to change whatever you want XD open source ass thing. spent all of ~maybe an hour on it.

Credit: the text in the insert-image box comes from this video, and the text for the top three lines (intense, complex, fruity) comes from this post. The actual image was made with the free NBOS character sheet creator, which is a sort of dated but free and solid text-layout sheet maker intended for ttrpg style character sheet creation.

<Reblog to get a sword.> o()xxx[{::::::::::::::::::::::::::::>

Most American thing I have ever seen. My dad bought bullets and they came with a $100 wine voucher

ATTENTION PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I think i have it now and i appreciate it.

I’ve just made a bet against my Dad that if this post gets 2 million notes then i can get a Puppy. [like the one underneath]

I didn’t realise how much 2 million was and i couldn’t take that number down now. It should look like 2,000,000 in the notes bar.

He’s convinced that this will never reach that number, and very confident about it so Let’s prove him wrong!! He thinks this will get about 25 notes beofre it’s left in the dust.

You don’t have to do it for me. But for the point and to prove him wrong. He has to pay and everything so let’s make him suffer with it!!

I’m counting on you!!!

Remember it’s 2,000,000!

Got obsessed with what the egos look like and wear and wrote this instead of my paper. C’est la vie!

Jackie’s hoodie is the heaviest one you’ve ever held and he always has the hood up, pushing his hair down against his bright blue mask, a warm, familiar weight across his shadowed blue eyes. He smiles easily and runs his hands over the soft beard about his friendly mouth. Combat boots, too many pockets, belts, a holster on his thigh. A bracelet given to him by someone he loved. Fighting has not made him unkind and his hands are softened by red gloves. His room is full of blankets and his hoodie sleeves have holes for his thumbs to stick through. He’s been his own for a long time and he resembles Jack less than the others do, but they share the same kind of warmth in the lines of their faces.

JJ is small and wild and he wears white and black unless he’s stealing his brother’s clothes, which he often does. He’s trim, neat, fashionable in a self-conscious sort of way. His eyes are very bright and a little silver, like something starry got stuck in the middle of his creation. He is well-loved, but still there was some darkness on the day of his birth, and it lingers in his clever, flashing, cautious eyes and his carefully, carefully, carefully cared-for clothes. He wears hats and needs glasses because one eye is worse than the other. His movements are all fluid and graceful and his hands never hold still. Sometimes steals Chase’s gauges and thinks about getting more tattoos. Often forgets to wear shoes.

Henrik – just a little lost, just a little traumatized – changes with the day. He’s trying to get a new job now that he’s back from a blood-red vacation, so he pulls together old fuzzy sweaters and turtlenecks and long coats, but most days he is an over-sized t-shirt and grey sweatpants. He has running shoes and he likes to stand in the rain. He never puts in contacts and he still wears his old wedding ring, though he couldn’t tell you why if you asked him. He smells like coffee and iodine, and he rubs his beard when he’s thinking, and he says loving things in a rough voice. He is littered in scars. Exhausted. He’s cut his hair short at the sides and he can’t always look himself in the eyes, but he’s still the good doctor.

Chase is a backwards hat and an arm wrapped in bracelets, dyed hair now faded to brown. Blink and you’ll miss his wide and perfect smile. His eyes are very blue. Girls leave numbers on his coffee cups but he’s still trying to put his broken heart back together. His black jeans are ripped and he always looks good. With his children in his arms, he is a creature of light and joy, his face shining and his mouth professing a love deeper than the stomach of the ocean. He is logos and Instagram pictures and he’s a good actor, too, because these days he can mimic Jack better than Anti ever has. A necessary deception, he tries to convince himself, but at the end of the day he’s still staring at a slow sort of suicide that sits at the bottom of a fifth of whiskey. He sets his glass down and goes to find someone to help him, wearing all black.

Marvin is a ferocity. White fingers glittering with rings, the flowing of a cape about his shoulders, tuxedos and jewelry and neatly-braided hair. A proud tilt to his handsome head, a sly sort of smile on his mouth, a wild gleam in his fine blue eyes. He holds magic in his shaking hands and coughs blood into the porcelain sink when he overexerts. He likes to show off but he never puts anyone else down for his own benefit, and at the end of the day he lets his hair out and switches into pajamas and sits next to whoever needs him most that night. He’s funny and his mouth is foul. He’s beautiful and kind and powerful, given a few chances to mess the trick up before he gets it right.

Jack wears a hospital gown.

For now.

He’ll wake up one day. Or someone will. Someone will sit up in that hospital bed, and someone will cough and shake and eventually recover, and someone will smile wide at the others around him, crying and laughing and thanking God that he’s finally woken up. It will be a good day, a happy day, even, but the next day –

Well, the next day –

Anti wears flesh.

I guess we have to wait and see who he wears next time.

Behold, gibberish!! I love this concept but I know I’ll never get around to actually writing it so here’s my unfiltered word barf of an idea! If anybody writes this we’ll be best friends forever, it’s the rules.

Fate!Tommy Fantasy au where Tubbo and Tommy are kinda on their own for the most part, and Tommy has got this destiny situation that he’s just avoiding at every turn like pink hair anime girl avoiding being a main character. They meet the rest of sleepy inc and they’re all trying to adopt this tall child and Tommy really likes them but is trying not to let them adopt him because he has tubbo and he argues that tubbo is all he needs even though tubbo knows that’s bullshit, and then tubbo gets injured and he immediately runs to them for help and is successfully adopted. Wilbur can basically tell whenever Tommy is in trouble. Pre adoption brotherly instincts. Tommy sees freaking Excalibur in the woods and just draws googly eyes on it and walks away. There’s some version of this where Tommy #destiny dies and Wilbur’s not having it so he just straight up breaks into whatever their version of the underworld is and brings him back, possibly fighting some gods along the way. Techno is impressed because mythology. Once Tommy is back they get a visit from foolish, who is in charge of the line between life and death, and he’s like “more power to ya, tbh that was really moving, but you just broke the rules of life and death. Not as in violated, either. Busted. Broken. So what are we gonna do about this?”