Y’ever Read Something And Have Understanding That Has Eluded You Interminably Suddenly Stop, Curl Up,

He’s so cool

americans pleeease. please kill elon musk 🙏🙏🥺😔😩🙏 americans! please. Please !!! kill elon musk. don't you remember gun.. ? bang bang ? your favorite game..? Americans... please. 😔🙏 have you forgotten your local deity, captain america: kill nazis??? americans !! I know you can do it 🥺🙏 please americans..

"Human bodies are wildly unpredictable. Your now-fading memories of the terrifying might and power you recently embodied will make for a depressing comparison to the unreliable form you're now piloting. You might be able to run a mile and feel great, but then somehow dislocate your neck while you're sleeping."

—excerpt from The Demon's Guide to Human Possession

Humans are weird: The Music Boxer

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

When humanity truly began expanding into the stars they brought many things with them. Philosophy, war, Gelato, and even furry creatures called “Cats” which became regarded as god like beings to some societies. One thing often not discussed was their enthusiastic forms of physical activity play called “Sports”.

Initially, sports were regarded as little more than children activities by non-human species. In the face of scientific research and warfare which dominated the galactic plane many did not have time for such things; yet when compared to the seriousness of which humans regarded some sports and their willingness to “throw hands”, as the humans said when initiating physical violence, over sporting disputes it started to gain more traction.

Militaristic species like the Vendari and the Koon quickly adopted Football and Soccer, as they both highlighted physical strength and strategic thinking. The Mig became enthralled by Golf as they enjoyed careful planning and mathematical positioning. Even the Nucal started using beer pong to resolve political debates, although primarily for the fact it allowed them to drink.

One sport that really took off and soon formed a pan-galactic tournament was boxing. Although, it’s primary title holder was somewhat of a controversial pick.

Gen’Vo was the most renowned boxer throughout the quadrant and current title holder of pan-galactic contender, the highest award given for the tournament. They were also a Trippit, which meant they had innate telepathic abilities which included mind reading.

Many of their wins were attributed to the fact Gen’Vo could literally read the mind of their opponent and know exactly what they were about to do. This led to an outpour of challenges to Gen’Vo’s victories, yet the tournament guidelines specifically stated that they would not dissuade boxers based on their species abilities. It was a delicate tightrope to walk but it was intended to ensure that all those who wished to enter the ring could. Otherwise the overly muscular Sep’nicks would never have been able to enter, nor would the insect like Dri.

Gen’Vo held the title for some seven years until finally meeting his match against the one opponent who was capable of defeating them.

Marco Arena, a human boxer.

While the initial creators of the sport, most alien participants didn’t think Marco would be able to hold his own again Gen’Vo during the final match. Their mind reading powers had already been proven to be hyper effective with defeating foe after foe.

When the bell sounded both fighters rushed forward. Gen’Vo started to read Marco’s mind but was surprised to hear nothing but music playing. They became so lost in the confusion that they failed to raise their guard fast enough to block a powerful right uppercut Marco unleashed.

Gen’Vo road the blow to prevent serious damage but was still shaken. They retreated several paces and tried to read Marco’s mind again as he continued advancing; yet only heard the same musical patterns playing.

Marco delivered a flurry of punches in rapid succession that Gen’Vo was barely able to defend against. The few instances Marco left himself open and Gen’Vo stepped in to deliver a blow of their own Marco would retreat and counter as Gen’Vo over extended.

It was almost as if Marco was the one reading minds now, and for the first time Gen’Vo was devoid of his telepathic abilities.

The match lasted three rounds before Marco finally delivered a blow so hard it sent Gen’Vo flying from the ring and out into the watching crowd. Safe to say they did not get up from the blow and Marco was declared the winner.

When asked on how the human had been able to defeat the mind reading effects of Gen’Vo Marco admitted that for the last three months he had trained his body to respond to certain notes within a song. Which notes meant attack, block, push forward, retreat, etc. He trained so hard that his body no longer needed a mental command to perform an action; his muscle memory was so strong his body would react by itself.

Once again proving the deadliness of humans; even when at sports.

The Boulder of Sisyphus will always roll, regardless if you're pushing it or not.

We went to MEDIEVAL DAY at the local museum and it was so much but I am so happy

We got to see blacksmithing! Someone was making an armour stand! I chatted to him about butted vs riveted mail! I got to do a little bit of tablet weaving AND got directions to a weaving group that meets at the same place as where the blacksmithing classes are held!! I got to talk about looms and spinning with fibre people!!

We had mulled wine and listened to a flute and nyckelharpa performance AND to top it all off we went to a viewing of the princess bride where we were encouraged to yell lines back at the screen and I got to introduce my friends to a new friend from art school and I want to set up my frame loom for tablet weaving AS SOON AS POSSIBLE (when I get back from dinner)

WHO GOT CAUGHT!?

Headcanon: goblin is a homophone heavy language; you can learn a quarter or so of it and b able to understand the rest.

This sounds amazing, but it also has the Grammer of a drunk man: n's and l's are dropped, double letters are dropped, and many noises are terribly recorded.

A number of words are borrowed words from other languages as well, which makes it more complicated.

Example: "behl e banum" has several possibilities:

Either "that large animal is over there" or "that large animal is constipated," or "nose in dirt, poo is good," and only those fluent in the language understand the context and how to respond without sounding like an idiot.

"Gway ot ma gassa" gets even messier; "ma gassa" and "magassa" are two completely different things, and "ot" and "öt" can lead to disaster if swapped around.

This is why it sounds like noise; because it's several layers of context and percise pronunciation.

They seem like canon fodder, but in groups, word spreads fast, and what's implied is understood.

Art by BlueSky user Adi Fitri