Being A Fangirl Means You Probably Have Incurable Insomnia, Hundreds If Not Thousands Of Fanfics You

My God-Mother: So what kind of books do you read?

Me, happy to talk about books: That depends! I'm currently reading Harry Potter.

My God-Mother, who I just remembered is extremely religious: You are not allowed to read those books! The bible states that it is a sin to do witchcraft! People like that go to hell!

Me, thinking in my head about all of the gay lemon fanfics I've read, Shadowhunter series, Percy Jackson series that follow different religons, and all of the supernatural type TV shows that I secretly watch and love:

Like, guess I'll go to hell then

right, so. 

regardless of the merits of this particular story, there is a larger point to be made.

this? this is a cisgender man and a nonbinary alien in a sexual/romantic relationship.

a queer relationship. a relationship that is queer and canon. 

there is, quite simply, no other interpretation on the table. they fuck. they’re fucking. other questions are still up in the air but they are definitely, 150% fucking.

so when (not if, sadly) some smug fanboy rolls his dead, soulless little eyes at all the stupid womenfolk and queers on tumblr who want Eddie Brock and the symbiote to be a couple lol those sad horny freaks

that fanboy is wrong.

he’s just wrong. he’s as wrong as a guy telling you that Dr Doom is white or that Batwoman isn’t a lesbian. he’s wrong. that’s all. that’s it. he’s a wrong guy being wrong. know this and, in the wake of all Cates-like entities to come, draw comfort from it my friends.

Sorry to disappoint you Marvel but alt!2012 is ours.

It’s the best timeline we fanfic authors could have possibly asked for:

Loki escapes with the Tesseract for parts unknown

Steve learns Bucky is alive two whole years ahead of schedule

Tony now has to rethink keeping the arc reactor in his chest and might get it removed much sooner

Thor, now without Loki, the Tesseract or even the Mind Stone, cannot return to Asgard empty handed, which means he will have no choice but to stay on Earth and bond with the other Avengers while they all search for him

Steve is supposedly loyal to HYDRA, which could lead to important information being slipped to him and speed up Bucky’s rescue

If JARVIS was still uploaded to Stark Tower and keeping tabs on everything like he always is in the IM movies, he more than likely has footage recorded of future!Tony sneaking into the tower and dressing up as a guard, future!Steve entering the tower while Loki is still in custody proving that he wasn’t just Loki in disguise, and Loki grabbing the Tesseract and gtfo'ing outta there

Bruce Banner now has a connection to the Ancient One that he doesn’t know about, and while I’m sure she’ll try to avoid him to preserve the timeline, with how much everything else is changing it’s anyone’s guess as to what happens next

Random street camera footage of two Hulks existing at the same time??? One acting as normal and the other being oddly unenthusiastic about ripping the aliens apart and smashing debris???

The Mind Stone is no longer in HYDRA’s possession, so they can’t use it to experiment on the Maximoffs

With the Loki series still on the horizon and our collective knowledge of what happens in the future movies, the story is now in our hands.

This is literally the timeline of our dreams. I don’t give a shit what the Russos or anyone else at Marvel says: this timeline belongs to the fandom and no one else.

Edit: @ everyone reblogging this and laughing in victory about Wanda being gone:

you’re not allowed here you asshole

just for that, here’s a solution:

Wanda and Pietro aren’t subjected to the power of the Mind Stone, which allows their natural mutant abilities (superspeed equivalent to Peter Maximoff’s time-defying stunts in the X-Men franchise for Pietro, and the ability to warp reality as she sees fit for Wanda) to actually appear naturally within them during a time of great stress for them both.

So I was recently rereading the Way of Kings, and in the middle of reading one of Kaladin’s flashbacks I had a thought. Deaged Kaladin. LIke they, (probably Navani), would be experimenting with Stormlight or a new fabrial or some new technology in Urithiru, and there’s an accident and suddenly there’s a teenage Kaladin who remembers nothing of the last 7 to 8 years. ‘Cause wouldn’t it be cool if Bridge Four, and Adolin, and Dalinar and all them could meet/interact with teen Kal. Because they would be shocked about how much different he is then compared to now. Like teen Kal has awe for lighteyes, and he hates to hurt people, and he’s torn between being a soldier or a surgeon. He believes in both, and he has to make a choice between them, and then in the middle of all his confusion, bam. He’s in a strange place with people he’s never seen before. If Dalinar or another like “warrior” lighteyes is there, cue the hero worship. Dalinar would want to adopt him on the spot. And Bridge Four would never let him out of their sight because their Captain is insane and always getting in trouble, and they expect the little Captain to be the EXACT SAME WAY. Teen Kal and Lift would be best friends, and she and Syl would enable him in his troublemaking ways, because he would absolutely go around and help all the people who are hurt that he can. And he would constantly be ditching Bridge 4 and Adolin, because you know Adolin would love and be fascinated with this Pure Child who actually likes lighteyes, because whenever Miny Captain leaves their sight he is GOING to get in trouble, and Lift and Syl enable it, because Lift is Lift and Syl finds it simultaneously sweet what Kaladin is doing, and Bridge 4′s attempts to stop him hilarious. 

Here’s another way of putting it since I’m all over the place with this.

Kaladin being deaged in Urithiru and the rest of them dying over this Pure Child. Some sort of accident happened to cause it. He and Lift become best friends. Bridge Four wants to protect this smol Pure Child, and basically stalk him. Or just blatantly never leave him alone. Because their Captain is reckless and insane about his own safety, and they don’t trust him by himself. Dalinar wants to adopt him but Bridge Four keeps thwartng him because the tiny Captain is theirs damn it! Adolin and Shallan love him and join Dalinar in fighting Bridge Four for the small Kal, Renarin is torn between enabling Adolin or Bridge Four. Eventually they set up a rotation over who gets to watch him. Kaladin finds medical supplies and then proceeds to run around all of Urithiru with Lift healing people. It drives everybody crazy. No one but Lift can keep up with him, and she enables him. Syl thinks it’s both sweet and hilarious, so helps Kal. Everyone who he helps loves him. 

Basically, it would be awesome and amazing for Kaladin to get deaged and for all of them to see how he used to be.

star wars prequels daemon au thoughts?

This is actually super hard because I have no idea what animals exist in Star Wars, there is just SO MUCH Star Wars. So long story short, VAGUENESS FOR THE WIN. 

Obi-Wan’s daemon definitely settled like, RIGHT after Qui-Gon took him as a padawan, just immediately after, basically INSTANTLY after. Finding out they’re going to be/NOT going to be a Jedi has been the moment of settling for a whole lot of Temple-raised kids, so this is totally unremarkable. She is not a remotely unremarkable daemon, though. 

Padmé‘s daemon is unsettled when she first shows up, as are all the daemons of her handmaidens. It doesn’t actually matter because they’re all perfectly comfortable touching each other’s daemons, but it’s still how it is, even though most of them are a bit old for it. He settles during the endgame of The Phantom Menace, and he settles into something big and flashy and super impressive. People who pay attention to him are a lot less likely to underestimate Padmé. 

Anakin’s daemon ALSO settles during the endgame of The Phantom Menace, which is pretty dang early for a daemon to settle. Obi-Wan didn’t even realize she WAS settled for a good long while, he just assumed she didn’t like to change very much. Why would a NINE year-old’s daemon be settled, after all? She’s small and fierce and absolutely fearless, and they’re separated because slavers are bastards. Someday Darth Vader is going to look terrifying storming around without a daemon. 

Ahsoka’s daemon is already settled when they meet Anakin and his, but sometimes they wonder if maybe he should’ve waited. 

The clones all have daemons, down to a man, and DIFFERENT daemons at that. The galaxy at large is not entirely sure how to take this. 

have y’all ever thought how fucking grand and iconic it would be , if guardian was actually gay ? like , the show itself , you know .

there are so many aspects to it that would be no joke groundbreaking . and i’m not even talking about a chinese show being gay . like , have you ever thought about how much weilan’s story defies homophobic stereotypes ?

for starters , guardian is a sci-fi show with two queer main characters , which - correct me if i’m wrong - has never happened anywhere before . it also has a plot that fully depends on the love story of said two characters , though at the same time that plot is not entirely just about the two characters being gay without any further explanation . it’s not stereotypical either . it’s an actually beautifully thought-out love story .

another thing that a lot of homophobes love to push is that gay people can’t be in love / one person can’t be in love with another person of their gender . and i mean , what defies that better than a story about a man being in love with another man for ten thousand years , waiting for him and being faithful to him that entire time , despite not being able to see him ?

guardian is not just a bl , it’s not just a show that has absolutely zero plot and whose only saving grace is the fact that it is gay ( not that there is anything wrong with that tbh jfksjfksjfksjs ) . but , it is really a full blown sci-fi show with lots of different amazing characters , each of whom has their own plot .

it also doesn’t fall under the usual shitty plotline of either of the guys being confused about their feelings ? shen wei definitely isn’t , but neither is yun lan . he is absolutely sure in his love for shen wei , and when a girl chases after him and tells him she loves him - he rejects her without a shadow of a doubt . no way in hell would he want any woman , or anyone else really , when he has shen .

and why does no one talk about guardian punching toxic masculinity in the face ? shen wei is a man devoted to the love of his life for ten thousand entire years . yun lan is a man fully devoted both to a man he loves and also his team , which he also loves and cares for deeply ( and he shows it too , in many ways ) . guo changcheng is a fragile gentle boy , who doesn’t end up ‘ winning ‘ by becoming hyperly-masculine, but instead by embracing himself . and there is many more examples .

i can go on and on about this . guardian could do shit™️ if it was allowed to be what it was supposed to be from the very beginning . and i’m just so sad that it wasn’t .

I am a grown-up woman and I stand by what I say. And if I say ‘I gonna read gay smut all day long’, it means that I will and you can’t stop me.

Sharing this for KaiShin reasons.

I love how Conan is KIDs favourite audience. Because Conan alsways motivates him to do his best. Otherwise he wouldn’t amaze him…and amazing someone like Conan is the highest praise for Kaito, that’s for sure.

“That kind of magic should I use to boggle his mind next time?” - he said, after almost being blown up by him.

And next time he got a beautiful reaction even though he didn’t suceed with “teleporting” the second time. He was happy to have achieved such a reaction out of Conan.

You can’t deny that their relationship is anything but boring lol.

(x)