Whitelightningoverasunset - Layla Rose

Let it all out, let it all out  You don’t have to think your heart is made of steel. – Heavily inspired by @keiid ‘s fanart of the Todoroki siblings <3 I just want them all to be happy :’)) 

😂😭

Art by Ian (@ian19961)

I need to rant.

The thing about being aromantic, asexual, or on the spectrums that a lot of people don’t seem to get is that compulsory sexuality exists.

Not just compulsory heterosexuality. Compulsory sexuality. Period. The idea that every person on the planet feels some kind of sexual and romantic attraction.

I grew up watching media, same as all of you, and how are people that are interested in purely sexual relationships depicted? As cold people. As cheaters. Usually it’s a straight man looking to use women. His character development almost always includes settling down. And people that don’t experience sexual attraction? Characters like Data from Star Trek or Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. Androids and characters coded as having a very specific type of autism. And even they have sexuality forced upon them by the writers at least once. With Data it happens in the second episode.

And then we try to explain this to people. Why we hurt ourselves and put ourselves in dangerous and uncomfortable situations trying to fix ourselves. Make ourselves feel sexual and/or romantic attraction. We bring up the bullying we endured. The things our therapists tried to fix about us. We talk about our trauma related to compulsory sexuality and you all just don’t hear us.

I’m so tired of it. I’ve been fighting the fight to be seen since I was fourteen! I’ve given talks in GSAs. I’ve written essays to educate. I’ve comforted other asexual people on the internet and irl. I’ve scraped and grabbed for community. I’ve done my very best to fight to be seen. I’ve healed from the trauma I put myself through in trying to fix myself. I’ve realized that I don’t need to be fixed. I’ve been as goddamned involved as an asexual person can be with the resources we have. I may be young but I have been fighting longer than most and I am so protective of the people just realizing that they’re aro or ace or demi or anything else. No matter how much older or younger they are than me.

And then some people on the internet decide that they get to undo everything I and so many other asexual and aromantic people have done. They get to decide that their trauma is more real than mine. They get to push me and my brothers and sisters and siblings out the door because they don’t see invisibility as oppression. They’ve held up their little sign that says “must be this oppressed to enter” and then held it up higher so that we didn’t fit.

Some of them told me “oh you can come in because you tick these boxes but that other box doesn’t count”

No. That box definitely counts. That box is just as much a part of me as any of the others and it is the one I have fought for the longest. Our community won’t be made invisible again. Invisibility is crushing. It is suffocating. Abuse and hatred of all kinds thrive in silence.

I feel alone sometimes. Like I am the only soldier holding a banner in front of a stone wall. But I am not alone, and you aren’t either. I’m tired of being casual. I’m tired of being seen as a rarity. A novelty. An android. A nuisance. I am none of these things. I, like every other arospec or aspec person, am a friend of dragons. Something that was hidden for so long, protecting itself and what it loves, but has the ability to be loud, dangerous, firey.

Asexual and aromantic people have been polite. Quiet. Because that’s what we feel we have to be. We can’t protest by kissing someone in front of a picket line. What can we do then? Talk. Write. Wear our colors. If we have to keep being polite and quiet about it, fine. That’s how we do. But let’s not be invisible. I will continue to let everyone that knows me understand under no uncertain terms that I am asexual. I will point to our aromantic siblings, sisters, brothers. I will tell you to look at them. Look at us. We exist. We are wonderful. We belong. In queer spaces, in the media, in the public eye.

If you are aro or ace people will tell you that they don’t care. They will ask why they need to know. But being yourself is a radical act. I know it is. We are often polite in this community. We don’t rally. We don’t look to change the world. We don’t depict ourselves as radical or challenging the establishment, but we are. We are. We have been from the moment we realized we exist. Our history is small. We are creating the early stages of it as we speak, but it is still rich. It is still beautiful. Even if we are spread out, I love this community so deeply. So completely. I probably won’t ever be a leader in this community or any other one. That’s not where my talents lie. But I will continue to push for us to be seen. I will write literature for us. I will talk. I will be as visible as someone like me can be. I will fight to make the words ace and aro and demi and grey just as well known as gay, ace, lesbian, bi, trans.

And there are so many of us out there doing the same. We are not alone. We have never been alone. And these people trying to make us alone won’t succeed. I know this. I feel it in my gut.

Thanks for listening to me rant.

12 Times Han Solo Used The Force Without Knowing It

Video

Cover Story

Obi-Wan: [obliviously marching through Padme’s doorway while she’s in the middle of a dinner party with a bunch of Senators and Jedi] Padme, darling, it appears your husband and I used up the last of the shampoo in the shower this morn– [stops as he takes note of the giant crowd in the dining room staring at him] Padme: [almost chokes on her wine, makes eye contact while shaking her head]  Anakin: [sitting further down the dining table, mouthing the word “no”] Obi-Wan: [panicking] Uh…yes, Padme. Your…husband? Um…Dennis. Anakin: [mouthing “Dennis?!” and slapping his forehead]  Padme: [wincing, immediately smiling pleasantly as Bail turns to her in surprise] Uh…yes! Gosh, I… Mon Mothma: Well, this is certainly surprising, Padme! I had no idea you were married! Mace: [skeptical] Belated congratulations, Senator. The Order will have to send you a gift. [side eyeing Obi-Wan] What’s this about Senator Amidala’s husband and you in the shower now? Obi-Wan: Ha! No. Um. I wasn’t…not at the same time, of course!  Yoda: [suspiciously watching Obi-Wan] Padme: No, of course not…Obi-Wan…sometimes stops over here to shower.   Obi-Wan: What can I say? No one has better water pressure than Padme!  Shaak Ti: I’ve always found the Temple to have adequate water pressure, but perhaps we should have Master Kenobi’s refresher examined.   Palpatine: [loving this because he fully realizes what bullshit it is] I’d very much like to meet this Dennis, Senator Amidala. Why isn’t he here this evening? Padme: Oh, he’s terribly shy. And busy. All the time. His career is very, um, demanding. Anakin: He’s a model! [Obi-Wan and Padme throw him a look] Anakin: [chewing] Super good looking. You should see him shirtless. [holds up his fork] You’ve got great taste, Padme.  Obi-Wan: [mouths “really?!” at Anakin] [everyone looks at Obi-Wan again] Uh… yes. Although one has to wonder if all that attention hasn’t gone to his head. Anakin: Hey! [everyone looks at Anakin] I think…his ego is appropriately-sized. One might also argue that his, um, modeling mentor taught him everything he knows about having an inflated ego.  Obi-Wan: [pursing his lips] Really. Because I’ve heard his mentor is actually a very level-headed individual who often wonders how he ended up in ridiculous situations where he is being made to deal with a self-absorbed young protege.  Anakin: [scowling, through gritted teeth] I didn’t hear his mentor complaining last night. Obi-Wan: [turning red] Anakin, perhaps we should discuss Dennis’ issues with his mentor another time.  Palpatine: [smirking while pouring himself more wine] Nonsense! Tell us more, gentlemen.  Padme: [laughing nervously and standing up] Oh would you look at the time! 

Mansplaining protip:

When a man starts explaining a concept you already told him you understand, instead of saying “I know” over and over until you die, try one of these:

Ok, which aspect is confusing you?

It seems like you have the basics down; Would you like me to recommend some good articles so you can get a more nuanced understanding?

So did you have a specific question, or do you just want a more in depth explanation?

the concept and idea of “you can always start trying to be a better person” is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible

because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person 

from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating

it’s fucked up.