NOTICE: As More And More Fanfic Writers Are Using Generative AI For Their Works (you Uncreative Dweebs),

Fuck zodiac signs, what’s your favorite cephalopod?

I’ll go first: either the blue-ringed octopus, the mimic octopus, or the colossal squid.

Consider the petition signed

Petition to bring his 4'6 ass back.

Dammit

Snacking with mama

Grandpa’s Gonna Sue the Pants Off of Santa

ATTENTION

If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)

Oooh, fuck, this is giving me ideas

Welp, time to open up the ol’ google doc and outline another thingy instead of working on my WIPS

HOUGH I NEED a fic with TOA Apollo (god of truth, prophecy, medicine, hunting) having a stint as a Private Investigator in a very overdramatic, eccentrically “him” way with Meg McCaffery as his partner (and muscle. And person with connections to the Triumvirate’s whole crime deal) being assigned stuff by the police being rude and nasty who clearly just want him to incriminate someone specific / close the case / cover up their shady stuff, so he goofs around, casually breaks reality and mocks old detective shows and Film Noir stuff to mess with them and generally waste their time and money BUT comes to the actual conclusion with incredible detail and accuracy so that they can’t COMPLAIN or argue against him AND THEN is very purposefully empathetic, gentle and efficient with cases for other people who are looking for and need help (in a very Columbo way. ACTUALLY OML INSTEAD OF REFERENCING HIS WIFE APOLLO CONSTANTLY REFERS TO HIS HUSBAND HYACINTHUS AND IT’S VERY UNCLEAR WHETHER HE’S ALIVE OR NOT (TOA paradox of Hyacinthus tuxedo)!)

it works really well! He would:

have good knowledge of analysing a crime scene bc medicine,

find people and put himself in suspects’ shoes bc hunting,

interrogate very very easily bc truth (again mostly he just messes with the actual culprit),

have hunches about where they might be bc prophecy,

be dramatic enough to loudly announce twists,

knows plenty of interesting people to “know a guy” (other gods, his children old and young, exes),

be beautiful enough and slutty enough (with love) to sustain a romantic subplot / inevitable tension (divorced) with “guys he knows” that he must dramatically call in despite their “complicated past” because he has “no other choice”. I could go on.

and Meg constantly resisting his dramatics and as the plot convenient way to resolve any emotional drama with Apollo (“but Meg, what if he hates me!” “Shut up. Do it.” “Okay! 😊”) and stop him going off on tangents if he drifts TOO far. It’s great!

How could you do this, that was nearly banished from my brain

does anyone else remember being terrorized every single commercial break by the madagascar 3 trailer on every single cartoon channel in 2011-2012

Real footage of me working on Come Morning Light

me as a writer

I’m almost done with a new chapter but I can’t get my brain to brain about it, someone please motivate me

Can’t stop picturing Lester doing CPR while yelling-singing Stayin’ Alive

Not in an angsty way, just in a stupid funny way

Like he’s just sitting there doing this while the Arrow of Dodona is in his ears going “THOU HAST MISTIMED THE BEAT OF THY SONG! SHALL I AWAKEN THE SPOTIFY FOR THEE?”

Meg’s just in the background dancing, then Lester’s voice cracks and she falls over laughing

Kayla walks in dragging Will with her

Will takes one look and goes “Dad, he literally doesn’t need CPR, you’re just gonna break his ribs for no reason”

He stops.

They never speak of it again.