Pandora’s Box

Jack: it's not even 7pm and it feels like midnight.

Lolo: Midwife...

Me: It'S mIdWiFe TiME

Jack: W H A T N O

anyways. When can I start screaming

I got a burn mark on my hand 2 years ago in science class and I passed my teacher in the hall the other day and she asked me if I still had the scar and I shit you not I said "yea but it's okay caus its kinda shaped like Africa :)"

I will stare at your crotch till I figure this out.

-Maggie

dark academic makeup

i feel like everyone just says "red lipstick and do your brows" so heres some more fun EYEdeas (I'm hilarious i know,)

-fine gold glitter on your eyelid with non winged black eyeliner

-deep burgundy eyeshadow applied with your finger onto your eyelid

-gold highlight on your browbone, tip of the nose, cupids bow, inner corner of your eyes, and cheek bones (for that good old fashion dorian gray glow)

-plum or light nude lipstick

-have you ever eaten pickled beats? You should they're very tasty and good for you.they also make a wonderful light red lipstain

-no traditional make up, draw teeth, little clocks, or roman numerals on your cheeks

-blush on your knuckles, look like you just punched a man who dared to disagree with you about poetry.

-red or burgundy only on the outside corners right under youre waterline (fill the rest in with gold highlight)

Common misconceptions surrounding the care of monsters

Contrary to popular belief, it is NOT normal for a Cerberus’s heads to fight with one another; this indicates anxiety or lack of proper enrichment.

Giant spiders are actually very social creatures, and should not be housed alone.

Provide your Sphinx with enrichment by answering its riddles. Though Sphinxes can be trained to attack those who answer incorrectly, they actually normally speak in riddles as a form of social play that is essential to their development and well-being.

If you cannot provide brimstone and a large pool of lava for bathing, don’t purchase a Hellhound! They are animals with very specific care needs and their health will suffer if they are not given the proper habitat. Likewise, most Hellhound kibble brands on the market do not meet the recommended daily requirement of damned souls for Hellhounds. Always check the labels!

The practice of putting blinders over the eyes of Basilisks to make them less dangerous is cruel. Basilisks should not be kept in enclosures where people other than expert caretakers normally come into view.

Many hippocampi enjoy pulling sea chariots, boats or inflatable floats and it can be a good source of enrichment and exercise. Make this activity fun for your hippocampus by rewarding it with treats such as fish and allowing it to participate as it wants to.

A labyrinth is NOT an appropriate habitat for a Minotaur!! Minotaurs need fresh grass and shade to lie down in to be happy. Also, a diet of only human flesh will cause malnutrition. Supplement your Minotaur’s diet of kidnapped youths with a source of fiber, such as hay!

Remember, that hatchling Roc is an adorable fluff ball now, but it will eventually become a fearsome elephant-sized bird of prey with a ravenous appetite and very demanding housing requirements. A pet should always be a well-researched commitment, not an impulsive decision.

While going into the wild and gaining a dragon’s trust is often romanticized, there are many dragons in search of a loving family much closer to home! Try looking into dragon rescue organizations near you.

Some Manticores need to be fed live prey; others, however, will accept prey that has been frozen and thawed. It depends on the individual.

Even smaller species of griffin need a lot of space. Domestic rock-griffins, though only the size of a cat, need room to fly and to build large nests. If you live in an apartment, it is better to adopt one of the smallest species, such as one of many types of song-griffins! Humming-griffins, however, though you may have seen cute videos on Instagram, should be avoided because they are not domesticated and their wild populations are endangered by the pet trade. It is best to admire their iridescent feathers in visits to accredited conservation organizations!

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

Deck, David Shrigley

If this is true then I’m literally screaming of joy cos lexi has a female love interest but also ugly crying cos it’s not rue😭😭

You know you’re kinky when Spotify recommends you audio porn for women. Me, I’m kinky.