Incorrect Quotes: Paldea Edition

There once was a man,

Who had a plan.

To jump off windmills;

For the sake of the fans.

I will never under why people insist the Paldean gym leaders need their other jobs “because the league doesn’t pay enough”. Maybe I’m misreading something, but so many gym leaders imply or outright say that the gym position came later than their other job and clearly don’t prioritize the gym itself. If anything, I would wager being a gym leader is the side hustle or a PR thing and not the other way around. Also if I were chasing the bag I prolly would not be doing abstract sculpting

Sex ed... It happened.

So... I was in class today with my friend, and it was Sex ed.

We were doing Kahoot! and just hanging out until this question came up: "What would happen if the testosterone levels in a female rises?" or something along those lines-

Then somebody asked my teacher "Wait, does this mean a girl can grow a penis if they have more testosterone?"

Then, my teacher had to explain to the WHOLE class, that girls can't grow a penis if that happens.

(Right after that, somebody though people pooped through their urethra.)

Gigachad.

*I would die for this man*

Pokepinion-tober: 1, 2, and 3

Yes I know that it's the third. shush.

Every day of this month I'm gonna randomly generate a Pokémon and give some thoughts on it.

1: Dragalge

I like it enough. The whole idea of a literal sea dragon is pretty neat, same as Kingdra. I like that despite it being aquatic it's not a water type. Also a not overly draconic dragon is good, unlike many I prefer the less draconic dragon types y'know? They feel more creative.

Colours are nice. The shiny is really cool too because it ads a splash of green to it which makes it pop quite a bit. Strong without being too overpowered.

And this funky little dude photosynthesizes. Read this dex entry from Shield.

Dragalge generates dragon energy by sticking the plume on its head out above the ocean’s surface and bathing it in sunlight.

How could it get any cooler?

7/10. Not my favourite dragon type or poison type, but a very solid design that makes me happy.

2: Skuntank

Be honest, when was the last time any of y'all thought about Skuntank?

I mean, it's a skunk. There isn't that much I can honestly say about it. It deviates enough from an average skunk to still be interesting but it's still just a skunk

A skunk that can make flamethrowers. I get that Pokémon is a fantasy game but, like, why? I know that you can light your farts on fire but why can skunk do that?

Why can it also learn explosion? Can farts explode?

*quick google search later*

Ok so apparently you can, but it's not easy.

5/10. It's just kind of a skunk.

3: Cramorant

Just look at this idiot and say that you hate him. I dare you. You can't.

Like sure it's really average design and stat wise, but it's so goofy. Loom at the wide eyed stare, the stupid wing position, how close the feet are.

Also the shiny form literally references a real story of a pigeon that got covered in curry. That's so silly.

And it's ability! Like sure the Arrokuda reference is fine and funny and all,

BUT

When he gets to low HP, this dumbass starts choking on a Pikachu

9/10. SO SILLY. I can't hate it. Every time I see a Cramorant I want to smile because the little lad it so funny to me

I edited a meme, pls laugh.

share the genre/theme in the tags if you'd like. my lengthiest playlist sits at ~8 hours and it's nostalgia-themed

Ice: Ooblek Bitch

Air: Ghoul Butch

(Wasn't expecting it, but god fucking dammnit)

from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator  ☆

Team Star Headcanons: Two Electric Boogaloo

(yes I know I just did the first one but I had too many thoughts for one post so here we are)

Ortega naps all the time. In class, at lunch, while fixing the Starmobile. Sometimes people don't even realise he's sleeping because he doesn't snore and still (sorta) sits up.

Penny has a stash of stim toys in her bag.

Atticus is fluent in sign language and the rest of the team has a basic grasp on it.

Mela has a lot of burn scars on her arm from not being careful around her pokemon. Her uniform covers it up.

They eventually started wearing the uniforms again but keep some of their accessories from their boss outfits.

Atticus either completes entire outfits in a few hours or debates the sleeve lengths for a week. No in-between.

Giacomo isn't a bad dancer. He's got some moves.

Eri likes to invite Carmen to team star hangouts. nobody objects and they've all grown quote close with Carmen. She's a pretty cool gal.

they like to talk to Miriam. They spend a lot of time in the nurses office anyways for various reasons so they just ended up bonding with her.

LOOK AT IT

I love it so much.