How Do I Know That I Am Not?

2pm and I’m already basically shitfaced.  Happy sabbath jesus, love the hair.

oh oh, oh, I can play this song, badly.  This is a song you dont fully appreciate til you’ve been there.

“ For seven long years I’ve been in prison, for 7 long more I have to stay, just for knocking a man down in an alley, and taking his gold watch away.  Sitting alone, sad all alone, sitting in my cell, all alone, oh thinking of those good times gone by me, knowing that I once had a home “

When you’re lonely, you seek people.  You find people, you compromise, you sell your good traits and pretend the bad arent there, an vice versa.  When you reach a certain point, you dont care anymore and all your relationships fail, and then you’re lonely for a long time, and then you hook up out of desperation with excuses therein as to why you arent desperate.

And of course those relationships fail, because theyre more about your own problems and less about the people involved therein.  Then you stop caring, and die.  Some people do this quicker than others.  We all start as hot love affairs and end as roomates with benefits, yet we all waste so much time on it.

Id say Humans are 45% concerned with love, 45% concerned with highs, be it drugs or overeating or whatever, 5% regret, and 5% coercive optimism.  Maybe if we all stopped lying to ourselves and eachother we could get somewhere..i mean, did you SEE the new walking dead, how amazing, this is a life well spent, the big bang theory, hahahaha, he said  something sorta nerdy and there was a laugh track! hahahaha, im gonna eat some popcorn, pretend to read a book to appeal to hipsters, then check my many online dating profiles for a hit, this is me spending my life well, this is me, progressing....

Rap started as African American expressionism, done in minimalist fashion due to lack of equipment, it started as early as the 50′s in one form or another.  It has since gone from expressionism to capitalism, but we wont get into that.  I find though, ironically, Shakespearean English may have rolled off the tongue nicely but modern English is very bumbly and flows only due to added suffixes, in my opinion anyways.

I find it amazing all the international rap I hear, Russian I think is THE perfect language for rap ( really I’ve always thought Russian was a beautiful language anyways, French is very overrated ) but English being the bastard Child of low German and Scandinavian dialects, you’d think say German rap would be just as bumbly as English, yet somehow even IT flows very nicely in poetic verse.  I’m actually a German speaker, but that has nothing to do with this post other than i know the lyrics to this song aren’t overly deep or creative, BUT, the flow for a language usually considered ugly is, incredible to me, and Sido has always done it well.

Dream Journal

Last night I dreamt I had a jar of black flies ( you know, the ones that bite ) and my job was to keep adding flies, but only keep so many alive, while killing the rest. Id open the lid fast and mash my hand in and kill so many and scoop them out then add more live ones.  Apparently my subconscious brain likes to tie math to living shit or something.

Here’s me drunkenly playing” Cheap Day Return “ by Jethro Tull, I have terrible audio equipment and suggest headphones to even hear me....

https://www.youtube.com/embed/MTJJb1UqjuA

I was a big Primus fan, and still am, but once I learned they were just being the residents tying to sound like zappa I got less interested.

The Residents, One Minute Movies

Hellraiser Directed by Clive Barker (1987)

Dear rednecks/Appalachians, though you may be Irish/Scottish in descent you will never play a banjo as well as an Irishman, just accept it.  You’re the superior Opossum hunters still for sure...