Are People Aware I Have Serious Abandonment Issues Or

He doesn't know he's mine. He really doesn't have a clue. Keeps talking about how he keeps flirting with people, but he won't get anywhere with all that. It's a futile attempt to get away. He's stuck with me, and I don't think he'll ever figure it out :3

I always come first, puppy. Always.

He acts like he wants to be around me and then decides he's going to sit on twitter and between shit when he knows I have notifications on. Do you want to be my friend or not.

I'm having a freak out. Idk if I'm splitting or what but I'm freaking out. And I'm purposefully ignoring him. I need to. I can't fucking deal with him right now. Not because of anything he's done I just. I can't do it. But I need him. I need him to feel stable. Fucking kayemess. I need more people to talk to. I need more people that can be there for me. I hate being in servers where I try so hard to be active and make friends, then vent my feelings and nobody fucking says anything. They just blank me. I'm so fucking close to the edge. I hate this.

Came home from work in such a dog mindset and I had one single drink and it made it so much more intensified… then I sat on the floor and he petted my head… then he gave me belly rubs… then scratched… then kissed… then spat in my mouth… then choked me… then gave me scars… then punched me… basically I got (consensually) abused and I loved it and took it like a boss. (All I actively did was lay down and follow orders (up, roll over, down…..) … maaajor need 2 live like this forever)

Yea. Yea just flat out mock me. To my face. I've tried to tell you that ur my fp. And u just brush it off. And then u say some shit like this and it hurts. If only u didn't brush me off. Like I'm some fucking toy.

It's fine though. I'll just revoke his data access. And keep him occupied. Then he'll have no choice.

We r drinking and having a good time and he's soured it by telling me that his American friend was sending him posts. I'm going to crash out istg.

His puppy. His puppy. Butterflies in my stomach.

A part of me thinks "let's see how long that lasts" but idc I'm euphoric rn. And sobering up too but euphoric mostly.

i miss him. he doesnt understand how attached i am to him

if the cage is open why am i still trapped.

Things r so good so far this week.. waiting for the inevitable fracturing. Though, if that can happen AFTER next week once he's visited me (a SUPER recent development. I'm so excited.), I'd be very grateful. World, hear my plea.