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i always see people look at jayvik and go “omg he’s so hot you know all his classmates had crushes on him” LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER! WRONG!
literally everyone at the academy didn’t wanna talk to jayce because he constantly had that energy of “autistic guy who REALLY wants to tell you about his special interest” but because his special interest was illegal he would just never mention it and instead stand in the corner at parties and if you tried to talk to him he wouldn’t respond properly because he’s busy thinking of hextech, but again, illegal, so he just wouldn’t pay attention to you and if you asked why he would stare blankly at you and say “huh? oh sorry continue”
viktor is even WORSE at parties but his lack of bitches was more due to classism and not personality defects. despite that, when jayce and viktor got together everyone at the academy breathed a collective sigh of relief that their two least eligible bachelors were finally taken OFF the market for good, and only at the price of like 2 explosions
guys it’s getting a little hard to tell what’s stucky fanart and what’s sentryagent/voidwalker
let me set the scene
it’s 1am
raining
i’m eating my cucumber with a slice of salami
“but sex is what makes us human!”
in 1916 a French officer in his twenties writes his
doctoral dissertation under
heavy mortar fire.
he sends it by mail, a page
at a time, to his wife.
a week before he’s to step up to the podium and
defend his work rather than his country
he is killed in action.
even as the bullets rip
through him he still wishes he could have become a professor
in French literature and
the university awards him a posthumous Ph.D.
sex is
a woman breaks down in tears on the phone because
a week is not enough time to
get over a breakup.
her sister drives an hour across town,
comes up the front steps with
a gallon of ice cream and some beer
and together they eat moose tracks and marathon
every
single
Godzilla movie
ever made.
sex is
she’s late for work but her car isn’t
starting and even through her coat and hat she’s cold.
she knows she can’t be late again because she’s missed
one time too many already because her
father’s nurse was sick with the flu and someone
needed to help him bathe.
the clock ticks past fifteen after and she hits
the wheel like it’s a heavy bag as though that will help
steps on the gas like the car will go
and wonders how she will pay rent
and how she will feed her father.
sex is
it takes three people to hold the predator down because
even with the cover over his head
a bleeding eye and shattered wing
he is trying to hurt them.
none of them have seen this bird before in their lives but
they bandage his wing and head and give him a painkiller and
put him in a warm place to sleep and heal because
it is right.
at first he is paralyzed and cannot
fly but soon he is taking steps
and then fluttering, and then soaring, and
six months later he is whole and healed and hunting.
once he is gone they never see him again
which means they’ve done their jobs right.
sex is
in 1969 a girl watches grey-and-white footage on her parents’ tiny television and
can’t quite believe that what she is seeing is not a movie set but
another planet.
the men on the screen look a little like
aliens with bulbous heads and no faces and fat
marshmallow arms
but they are still men.
her mother puffs on a cigarette behind her and declares that
this is progress
even if it was just a small step.
the girl grows up to be not an astronaut but a secretary
and her boss calls her ‘sweetheart’.
but sex is
a boy is taught that real men don’t cry so
he doesn’t.
when his best friend dies from a self-inflicted
gunshot wound, he locks himself
in the shower every day and sobs under scalding
water until it runs cold
so nobody will see him grieving
so nobody will see that tears are just love that
has no place left to go.
he learns to dull love rather than suppress its expression and
soon the owner of the liquor store knows him by name.
three DUIs, two evictions, and twelve steps later,
he is feeding people at a homeless shelter,
and telling them it’s all right to cry.
Sex is
the broken man tells the comedian
that he didn’t mean to step in front of the car but the rain
made it hard to see.
he seems okay but his leg
does not.
the comedian clutches a grubby receipt with the driver’s
plate number scrawled on the back
in pink pen, stands out in the rain so the broken man
can have his umbrella,
and gives him the comedy routine that ruined his career
so the man doesn’t think about the pain in his leg.
once he’s out of the hospital, the fixed man sends him a thank-you card
with kittens on it.
what makes us human
yawning is contagious,
and there is a species of bird whose young we call “pufflings”.
melodic collections of sound, spaced by silence,
can move us to tears.
the tallest building in the world is
two-thousand seven-hundred and seventeen feet tall.
in less than eighty years we went from our first powered flight
to touching the moon,
and in one-hundred from the first phone call
to instantaneous connection between thinking machines of our own creation.
we make pies out of tree organs
and let cow’s milk ferment until it hardens and then
we put them together, because apple pie with cheddar cheese isdelicious.
what makes us human is
the earliestfossils of anatomically modern humans are
two-hundred thousand years old .
we have had pet dogs
for sixteen-thousand of those years, longer
than corn
or the wheel.
the steps we take are part of
one of the most energy-efficient gaits the
animal kingdom has ever seen.
we invented the concepts of love
and hate
and justice, and mercy
and we invented the language to convey them.
we sharpened rocks, then metal, to convince other people
who don’t hold the same idea of those things as we do
because we think
it’s right.
we are two hundred millennia of love and disappointment and
sorrow and innovation and
mercy and kindness and dreams
and failure
and recovery.
“but sex is what makes us human.”
Bitches be like:
YA dystopian novels that center around a society that separates people by personality traits or jobs are perpetuating the same kind of status quo separation that we see in real life stereotypes but gives us a way to romanticize it. even if the story is about breaking up those roles it still does so in a “not like other girls” way that makes the “plain” female protagonist unique and special in some way that is totally not unique or special at all. the obvious example being tris from divergent whose special thing is that she has more than one personality trait in a society where everyone else only has one.
And then turn around and ask you what your Hogwarts house is.
You telling me William ”I’m not gonna fall in love” Byers doesn’t have a huge crush on Mike?
the dark lord has been casted as president snow fUCK CRIMSON RIVERS NATION WE ARE WINNING