Oh. Almost Forgot That I Am In Fact Wanted And Loved And That I Belong To This World. And Maybe You Have

The problem with rereading the goblin emperor is that I’m gonna finish it at some point and then it’ll be over. Unless of course I reread it, again.

“Cousin Kip! Whatever are you doing here? Are you with the sky ship that came last month?”

“Yes. I am in attendance to my lord.” He gestured discreetly at his Radiancy, who was smiling more sardonically than benevolently and thus did not look exactly like the state portrait hanging directly behind him.

The Hands Of The Emperor, by Victoria Goddard

aka that one time HR was trying not very hard not to be this picture:

by giorgio_filippini_photographer

Maomao: Not to worry. I have a permit.

Court lady: This just says, "Maomao can do what she wants" with master Jinshi signature.

Why I don’t like people calling Maomao from The Apothecary Diaries Aro/Ace coded.

Writing helps me organize my thoughts so I want to get this down before I attempt to make a video about it. It’s a subject that deserves to be treated with nuance and care so I will do my best express myself correctly.

Let me start this off by being clear, in no way am I disparaging people headcanoning Maomao as aro/ace or any sexuality for that matter. I personally headcanon her as Demi/Bi. I am only and specifically referring to people implying that she is CANONICALLY aro/ace or coded that way.

I find it unfair for people who are genuinely seeking aro/ace rep to be told that Maomao is that, when she is not. I have seen multiple cases of people who are understandably upset after reading the light novels, because they were told going into it that she was aro/ace coded.

I will be discussing things from the light novels in the rest of this post so bear that in mind and here is your spoiler warning.

Maomao is deeply repressed and in denial of her own feelings. This is something extremely obvious in the subtext of her character, and then overtly revealed in light novel 12. She does, at first, believe that she is incapable of love, but we as the readers also know that that is connected to her trauma and upbringing, along with her skewed perception of sex. She believes her feelings could only bring trouble, so she pushes them down for as long as possible.

For a long time there has been an extremely harmful stereotype that aro/ace people are just repressed and can be “fixed” by the right person. And if Maomao was genuinely intended to be aro/ace it would be perpetuating this really awful and untrue stereotype.

Maomao’s feelings realization and acceptance comes from a very important quote in the story. “I know you have your circumstances, Miss Maomao. It’s important not to get carried away by your emotions! But...” Chue brushed Maomao’s cheek again with her bloodstained hand. “You can’t let that be an excuse either.”

I personally would not like aro/ace being reduced to an “excuse”, frankly I would find that really fucking uncomfortable.

Now onto the sexual aspect of it. Maomao’s only frame of reference for sex comes from the verdigris house. I will tell you this as a sex worker, if you were raised adjacent to this industry and had no understanding of sex outside of the context of SW (and pornographic literature), you most likely would have the same skewed perception of sex that Maomao does. She looks at it like work, a performance. Which is the main reason she is so nervous about it in light novel 13. She is scared her “performance” won’t be good. She knows the mechanics of sex and how to give pleasure, but nothing about intimacy. She’s also pretty clinical about it, because there is political reasons why sex between them could be literally dangerous to the safety of the country…. Not really conducive to the relaxed and fun environment that she deserves for her first time.

But in conclusion, it is very understandable that aro/ace people have found comfort in her as a character, ESPECIALLY anime watchers because the romance subplot has barely even scratched the surface of the long LONG development arc it gets. Headcanons are also always okay, do what you want. Read and write whatever fic you want. But telling other people that Maomao is canonically aro/ace or coded that way is not only inaccurate, but could bring disappointment to people wanting rep, or people hating on the author for “perpetuating bad stereotypes” when she never intended Maomao’s character that way in the first place. This ship has already left the port and has sailed to the western capital and back, there’s no turning around now.

one day, if you try hard enough, you too can become a primary source

I think the united states of america would really benefit from being under the rule of His Imperial Serenity, Emperor Edrehasivar VII

THE SPANISH TRANSLATION IS MUCH MORE ROMANTIC.

I'm going to CRY.

Remember the iconic "And I'm hopelessly in love with him"? FUCK THAT. Spanish Edition gives us:

"Y yo estoy completa y desesperadamente enamorado de él".

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, BAZ.

Jesus Christ.

There are so many things about this THAT MAKE ME LOSE MY MIND.

First of all... The usage of the "yo". JESUS. In Spanish we don't used "yo" AT ALL. It's not a thing because t's something that's already inside the verbs we use. SO, while the translation could have gone from "I'm in love with him" to "estoy enamorado de él", the translation goes HARDER by putting the subject of the phrase there. It's stating it's Baz. The phrase is not an accident, it's reinforcing that Baz is saying that with all his intentions.

Then, he's not only in love with him, he's utterly and desperately in love with him. Fuck me. His feelings aren't just hopeless, they're intense and all consuming and the boy is YEARNING.

Being hopeless in Spanish means having no hope, it's "desesperanzado", it's when something you wanted doesn't work out and you lose hope, but "desesperadamente"????? It's being desperate. It's something extreme and it's being dominated by a feeling. Baz is desperately in love with him. The intentions behind that single word is so strong. And it's of Simon.

Baz's phrasing is so strong. Wow.

Because also, when he says:

"Blue eyes. Bronze curls."

ALSO FORGET THAT.

In Spanish, he says:

"A esos ojos azules. A esos rizos de bronce".

He's referring to THOSE blue eyes, to THOSE curls of bronze. There's no doubt of who he's talking about because he previously described them to you but also because he's explicitly telling you he's talking about THIS Simon.

Baz, you romantic fool in Spanish, you're killing me.

There are several moments in tge where Maia is just the Most eighteen, and I would like to posit one of my favorites:

Min Vechin, who Maia is very attracted to: hey :) I've noticed you're attracted to me...want to do something about that?

Maia, experiencing the entire spectrum of human half-goblin emotion at once: NO THANK YOU. GOODNIGHT. MA'AM.

Maia: *turns on his heel and walks out, followed by his nohecharei who got to watch that entire fumble*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MONKEY D. LUFFY!