Missing My #1 Oldtown Hater Queen

professor mcgonagall accidentally calling james "evans" in their 6th year, and lily yelling "oi evans!" to call him after that (he pretended he hated it but would run to his room and giggle into his pillow after that)

this but with stanford/stanley pines

I was hanging out with my sister and she just asked me "I feel sleepy all the time do I have Necrophilia?"

she meant narcolepsy

Dolly Parton has come to do a show in my town. We couldn't afford tickets, so me and my mom sold my stepdad so we could go.

It turned out that we sold him to Dolly Parton, she made him sing with her and then she gave him back.

I love this loser so much it hurts.

Odysseus rn:

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Mabel: Grunkle Ford, you've broken up with people before right..?

Ford: Oh yeah, McGucket, Bill Cipher..

Mabel: I just don't know what to do about my current boyfriend..

Ford: Rick Sanchez, The Doctor, ugh, I think a couple Zygon in that same universe..

Mabel: Maybe I should just tell him how I feel and be honest about my emotions

Ford: A clone of myself, a living star..

Mabel: Yeah, I think that's exactly what I'll do. Thanks for talking to me Grunkle Ford :)

Ford: Captain James Kirk- Oh wait, I don't think I ever actually broke up with him.. No wonder he keeps trying to contact me..

I feel like, in Warrior of the Mind, when Athena and Odysseus interact for the first time it’s less Ody tricked her and more like:

Child Odysseus, looking very confidently in the wrong direction: “I can see you~”

Athena, the literal Smartest Goddess, very indulgently: “How can you see through my spell?”

Aemond: I don't have children. The reason why is fairly simple: when we were little, I tucked my sister into bed and she stared past me for a few seconds, then said "The Wall People don't like you." After that, kids and I went simpatico. Aegon: Maybe spend less time making excuses and more time becoming the kind of person the Wall People would approve of.