There's Probably A Better Way Of Wording The Last Part But Like Come On It Doesn't Matter If We're All

Me: knows my depression gets significantly worse in December, every December, and there’s nothing I can do but distract myself until it’s not December anymore

Also me, in December: um hi yeah excuse me, why am I super depressed? Absolutely shocked and flabbergasted by this turn of events

what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went "you havent made a list in a while! 🙂" are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now

u know someone’s about to get dragged through the mud when an academic uses the phrase ‘it’s tempting to assume’

There's something hilarious about how so much subsequent media has positioned Vampires and Werewolves as, like, binary opposite entities, and then you read Dracula (1897) and realize that wolves are that guy's preferred solution to every problem. You'd say something to Dracula about "ah yes, werewolves, vampires' great eternal enemies," and he'd just be like "you mean my subcontractors?"

Would being called big dog fix me? Who knows?

aye it's nov 5th pass me the destiel

With the power of adhd you can do two halves of different chores and then sit down again instead of finishing either 👍

"scalp massage" this "scalp massage" that it's ok you can just say it. Boys like it when you pet them

Yknow what? Very true

Also? I know I’ve made jokes before about the plot lines of some of the more popular books in this genre, because there are lots of aspects of said plots that I find silly/ just not for me/ too full of tropes that reinforce harmful ideas about gender,,, but damn the margin between calling erotica plotlines silly or “cringey” versus accidentally shaming women for expressing their sexuality is uhhhh very small actually — I’m gonna remember to be nice the next time someone tells me about their cishet alien/werewolf/mafia whatever book porn & u should too

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

cooing & stroking the neighbourhood cats but shaking my head the entire time so everyone knows i don’t ideologically agree with outdoor cats