wet evening in April by Patrick Kavanagh
by Sylvia Plath
The scene stands stubborn: skinflint trees Hoard last year’s leaves, won’t mourn, wear sackcloth, or turn To elegiac dryads, and dour grass Guards the hard-hearted emerald of its grassiness However the grandiloquent mind may scorn Such poverty. No dead men’s cries
Flower forget-me-nots between the stones Paving this grave ground. Here’s honest rot To unpick the heart, pare bone Free of the fictive vein. When one stark skeleton Bulks real, all saints’ tongues fall quiet: Flies watch no resurrections in the sun.
At the essential landscape stare, stare Till your eyes foist a vision dazzling on the wind: Whatever lost ghosts flare, Damned, howling in their shrouds across the moor Rave on the leash of the starving mind Which peoples the bare room, the blank, untenanted air.
Come, shining lyre, speak to me--gain the power of utterance. ἄγι δὴ χέλυ δῖα μοι λέγε φωνάεσσα δὲ γίνεω. --Sappho, fr. 118
Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
by Pablo Neruda tr. Donald D. Walsh
I have named you queen. There are taller than you, taller. There are purer than you, purer. There are lovelier than you, lovelier.
But you are the queen.
When you go through the streets No one recognizes you. No one sees your crystal crown, no one looks At the carpet of red gold That you tread as you pass, The nonexistent carpet.
And when you appear All the rivers sound In my body, bells Shake the sky, And a hymn fills the world.
Only you and I, Only you and I, my love, Listen to it.
A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness.
Robert Frost
Fibromyalgia, took my bones when I was sleeping.
Crept in while I was resting,
Breathing deep against my pillow,
Or the paper of the books I could no longer read.
It grew inside me,
Drank my mitochondria like wine,
Took an angle grinder to my spine,
And wore me away like twilight.
I, got sick at uni,
In a small room, where nobody could hear me cry,
Or permit me to.
My nervous system quit, while I was working.
In the library where my legs were burning,
Like the oven door against my forearms,
And the stovetop, where I made myself curry. For the first time.
Independence, embryonic.
I was nineteen.
November was cold that year, and
January was colder.
As fresh and new as I was, and as,
Stark and clean and painful as my fading autonomy.
I tried to crystallize it.
In an essay, or a poem, in biro ink and off-brand toothpaste.
Like if I wrote it right I could write myself well
And when the rain fell in February,
I fell,
In Tesco and at the train station and on the stairs.
Swallowed the stones in my throat, chose not to dare question why it was that I kept falling.
And got back up.
Because strong people don’t get sick,
You stick it out, you do not quit,
And when the elevator is out of service,
You use the stairs.
I never knew how high the curb was until I could not climb it.
We searched for my bones in decomposing diagnoses,
Degrading medication on my tongue,
Took blood tests of my blood lines,
And on the coastline,
Tried to calcify my insides strong again.
Put our hands in the wet sand,
To build a tibia. Shape my sternum like a castle.
Clavicle and mandible and cranium.
Starlight and seafoam and gone.
My bones, are in the Rotunda museum,
Under the skin of the Gristhorpe man,
We walk where he walked, and I walk no longer,
Pressed behind glass, my skin tight as leather.
My bones, are in the limestone cliffs edge,
Grown from sediment,
Calcium carbonate, cycling, infinite, ground down to shale,
My bones are food for minke whales.
I am lying in bed, and ugly, like a princess.
Limp, and formless, and rolled out to sea
I am blue badge on double yellows,
Pepsi Max and heavy metal,
Flat on the backseat, and staring through the windscreen, where the starlings will dance until nightfall.
My bones, are a murmur of starlings,
Dark and undulating
The shapeless, shape of nature,
Inexplicable,
Impermanent,
And strong.
And I will not be another fucking tragedy,
Another DWP dispensability,
Too many of us have already died.
We build on their bodies. Defiant.
I, am a being of duty, and fury, and I want you to know, that I am broken,
Because they could not contain me whole.
Fibromyalgia, took my bones, and they grew. Fragmented, transcendent, and new,
I am fragile. And grounded. Bound to dropped kerbs. Sick insides.
But my bones?
Oh, my bones, are the sky.
Just your mouth
Just your love
Just your anointing oils
Just your name
Just your chambers
Just your love
And my mother's sons
And my own vineyard
And my soul
Just your flock
Just your companions
Just your kids
Just your cheeks
Just your neck
Just your couch
And my perfume
And my beloved
And my breasts
And my beloved
And my love
Just your eyes
And my beloved
Our couch
Our house
Our rafters
And my love
And my beloved
Just your shadow
Just your fruit
Just your banner over me
Just your left hand
Just your right hand
And my beloved
And my beloved
Our wall
And my beloved
And my love
And my fair one
And my love
And my fair one
And my dove
Just your face
Just your voice
Just your voice
Just your face
Our vineyards
And my beloved
Just your flock
And my beloved
And my bed
And my soul
And my soul
And my soul
And my soul
And my mother's house
Just your sword
Just your mother
Just your wedding
Just your hearth
And my love
Just your eyes
Just your vein
Just your hair
Just your teeth
Just your lips
Just your mouth
Just your cheeks
Just your veil
Just your neck
Just your two breasts
And my love
And my bride
And my heart
And my sister
And my bride
And my heart
Just your eyes
Just your necklace
Just your love
And my sister
And my bride
Just your love
Just your eyes
Just your lips
And my bride
Just your tongue
Just your garments
And my sister
And my bride
Just your shoes
And my garden
And my beloved
And my garden
And my sister
And my bride
And my mouth
And my spice
And my honeycomb
And my honey
And my wine
And my milk
And my heart
And my beloved
And my sister
And my love
And my dove
And my perfect one
And my head
And my locks
And my garment
And my feet
And my beloved
And my hand
And my heart
And my beloved
And my hands
And my fingers
And my beloved
And my beloved
And my soul
And my beloved
Just your beloved
Just your beloved
And my beloved
Just your head
Just your locks
Just your eyes
Just your cheeks
Just your lips
Just your arms
Just your body
Just your legs
Just your appearance
Just your speech
And my beloved
And my friend
Just your beloved
And my beloved
Just your garden
Just your flock
And my beloved
And my beloved
Just your flock
And my love
Just your eyes
Just your hair
Just your teeth
Just your cheeks
And my dove
And my perfect one
And my mother
And my fancy
And my prince
Just your feet
Just your rounded thighs
Just your navel
Just your belly
Just your two breasts
Just your neck
Just your eyes
Just your nose
Just your head
Just your flowing looks
Just your breasts
Just your breasts
Just your breath
Just your kisses
And my beloved
Just your desire
And my beloved
And my love
Our goals
And my beloved
And my modest breast
And my mother
And my power credits
Just your left hand
Just your right hand
And my beloved
Just your mother
Just your heart
Just your arm
Our sister
And my breasts
Just your eyes
And my vineyard
And my very own
And myself
Just your voice
And my beloved
by Brad Aaron Modlin
Mrs. Nelson explained how to stand still and listen to the wind, how to find meaning in pumping gas,
how peeling potatoes can be a form of prayer. She took questions on how not to feel lost in the dark
After lunch she distributed worksheets that covered ways to remember your grandfather’s
voice. Then the class discussed falling asleep without feeling you had forgotten to do something else—
something important—and how to believe the house you wake in is your home. This prompted
Mrs. Nelson to draw a chalkboard diagram detailing how to chant the Psalms during cigarette breaks,
and how not to squirm for sound when your own thoughts are all you hear; also, that you have enough.
The English lesson was that I am is a complete sentence.
And just before the afternoon bell, she made the math equation look easy. The one that proves that hundreds of questions,
and feeling cold, and all those nights spent looking for whatever it was you lost, and one person
add up to something.
Kait | XXIV | PiscesThis is my personal commonplace book
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