I Apologize For What I Am Going To Say To You, But I Have To. I Am Ahmad Allouh From Gaza, Married

Inspired by this week's WFA:

Bruce, emailing: Dear Clark, I need you to report to Wayne Manor at your earliest convenience. Signed, Bruce Wayne.

Clark, emailing back: Dear Bruce, I will be there within the next hour. Signed, Clark Kent.

———————

Dick, texting: Meet me and Babs in 30.

Kara, texting back: K.

———————

Jason, shouting out the window: YO BIZ!

Bizarro, five minutes later: Not here!

———————

Damian, at a normal volume: Kent.

Jon: *zooms across the country in three seconds*

———————

Tim:

Kon: *breaks the sound barrier*

Supersons doodle :D

was actually not going to draw the movie superbat but then the idea of battinson having an awkward crush on superman took me by a chokehold

Damian is an animal person, and I like to think that he has pets of all kinds. Including illegal ones and legal ones.

He probably has gone to his father more than once to get him to get a permit for a pet.

Damian, walking over to Bruce at that point in the day when he agrees with anything: Father?

Bruce, exhausted™: Yes Damian?

Damian holding up a paper: May you sign this?

Bruce not even reading the paper: yeah sure

Damian two weeks later walking into the manor with a pet ferret in hand: Father, I’ve named him Jason. Do you like him?

Bruce remembering that ferrets are illegal to own in New Jersey without a permit: He’s lovely… how did you.. get him?

Damian: You signed the paper two weeks ago

Bruce who doesn’t remember that but knows he definitely signed something: oh… okay

Damian as the primordial being of life and creation and Jon as the primordial being of space and time. They're soulmates and meet in each lifetime even as they lose themselves, hit me up

Here…. Imagine, tim preg. But litreally know one except bernard and tim knows yet.😭😭😭💀💀💀💀

"Imagine, Tim pregnant—" Done.

And, yeah, they would somehow either forget to tell everyone, or they'd just... Not.

—

Tim, throwing up in a dumpster mid patrol:

Stephanie: Oh my god, Red Robin is dying!

Jason: I don't think their doing that bad, sure the place closed on mian, but—

Cassandra: Your brother!

Jason: Huh? Oh.

Bruce: What's happening?

Tim: Oh, nothing, my bad. I just should've swallowed.

Tim, promptly passing out:

Damian: . . . What?

Cass: We've got him.

Stephanie: Spleenless wonder.

—

Tim, calling Jason at three in the afternoon: Jason. I need Subway.

Jason: . . What?

Tim: Bern is still at classes. I'm hungry.

Jason: So go get food.

Tim: Can't, injured my ankles during patrol last night and last time I tried to drive with a sprained ankle I lost my license for a year.

Jason: F#&#&$... Just wait for Bernard to get off classes.

Tim: You're starving me!?

Jason: I am not driving forty minutes to pick you up and get you a sandwich!

Tim: Fine, I'll call Dick.

Jason: He lives over an hour away.

Tim: And, yet, he'll get me a sandwich.

Jason: Oh my gods I wish Bruce closed the door on your face... Fine. Fine! I'm coming! Driving forty f#&$-#& minutes to get you a SANDWICH!

Tim: Thank you.

—

Damian: You've been avoiding spicy foods for than usual lately.

Tim: Uh . . ? Thanks . . ?

Damian: Suspicious.

Tim: No, it's not! I don't like spicy foods.

Damian: You usually eat Alfred's chilli though.

Tim: Well, not tonight.

Damian: Suspicious...

—

Kon: . . . Rob?

Tim: Yeah?

Kon: Why do you have two heartbeats?

Tim:

Kon:

Tim: Bat training.

Kon: Oh, okay.

—

Bernard: You really shouldn't be patrolling while pregnant.

Tim: Probably, but on the bright side I can say our kids been a vigilante since they were in the womb!

Bernard: You're impossible.

Tim: Their first vigilante name can be "The Egg"

Bernard: You're insane.

Tim: Glad you finally realized it.

—

Bruce: Now, this is a high stakes mission, so... Where's Red Robin?

Stephanie: He said he'll pass.

Bruce: . . . What?

Cassandra: He's not coming.

Bruce: . . . Why?

Dick: Maybe he's sick?

Jason: Could be hiding an injury.

Damian: Perhaps he's quit and decided his time is better used maintaining his horrid wreck of a boat.

Duke: Maybe he's pregnant.

Bruce: That's impossible.

Stephanie: How's that impossible?

Bruce: I had birth control specifically made for him.

Dick: He could've stopped taking it.

Damian: Don't be ridiculous, Drake would never willingly continue his cursed bloodline.

Duke: Bruce didn't even want to, man was snagging kids off the streets before he'd willingly get your Mama pregnant.

Damian: SAY THAT TO MY FACE!

Cassandra: No, no fighting.

Bruce: . . . Tim would tell us if he was pregnant, right?

Stephanie: Would any of us tell Bruce if we were pregnant?

Everyone:

Bruce: What?!

Jason: If I was pregnant I'd be on a remote island with Kori and Roy to avoid the stress you f#-$%-$s put me in.

Stephanie: I avoided Bruce like the plague when I was pregnant, he was NOT about to adopt my baby.

Cassandra: I would've terminated the pregnancy a week before I had sex.

Dick: I would be trying to get my life together.

Bruce: Why do you all have plans for this?

Dick: . . . Do you not have plans for this scenario?

Bruce: . . . I—

Stephanie: OH MY GODS, HE DOESN'T HAVE PLANS FOR IF WE GOT PREGNANT!?

Jason: Hate to point it out, but didn't the Joker get pregnant one time?

Bruce: . . . Moving on—

Duke: Why do none of y'all have plans for if your partner was with you?! I'd be chilling with my loving spouse!

Damian: That requires them to be loveable.

Jason: Kori and or Roy would be the reason I got pregnant.

Bruce: CARRYING ON!

—

Stephanie: You're getting fat.

Tim:

Stephanie:

Tim, breaking down into tears:

Stephanie: I'm sorry!? I didn't mean it! I was joking!? Tim, are you okay!?

—

Clark: So, uh, Bruce..?

Bruce: What is it?

Clark: Tim told Kon the other day... something interesting?

Bruce: Spit it out.

Clark: . . . Is it part of bat training to have two heartbeats?

Bruce:

Bruce: What?

Clark: Kon has been hearing double heartbeats from Tim—

Bruce: I gotta go.

—

Tim, snapping pop tarts in half to stick in a large bowl of several different kids of ice cream, then dumping two boxes of pocky into them, topping it with chocolate syrup and powdered sugar: . . . I don't even like sugar—

Bruce: TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE-WAYNE!

Tim: Oh no.

—

Sketches of Damian as a student because if I have one more group project I'm gonna kill myself 😭😭😭😭

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR MYSELF, I'm drawing because I can't sleep, but I can't sleep because I need to draw. The dilemma of an artist...

I hope Damian also suffers from this. Surely he does. He writes his own little comic, he must be like:

Hello my friends! 👋💓

The situation in Gaza is worsening day by day, and my family is still struggling in very tough conditions. 😔💔

I only have $85 left to reach the $8500 goal, and I hope to achieve it today. 🇵🇸😢

I sincerely thank everyone who has supported and stood by us during this time. 💗🍉

https://gofund.me/abbc2759

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Damian: Oh, you don't have a Valentine on Valentine's Day? Some people don't even have a groundhog on Groundhog Day. Check your privilege.

Nami would've loved her SO damn much