THE DILF OSAMU U SENT TO CHICOREEKXKMQLXJDK I AM SCREAMING ON MY KNEESJCOQMXOCK ITS SO GOOD HOLY FICKKSCMLWMZ🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

onigiri shop owner osamu miya

meet ugly with iwaizumi hajime athletic trainer where you’re catering the dessert table at the Olympic Training Center's End of Year Celebration. You’re covered up to your elbows in swiss meringue buttercream, iwaizumi is wrangling two drunk volleyball players about to vomit all over him, and there’s only one available bathroom left to use.

your eyes and his meet from either end of the hallway - he can clearly see you're covered in buttercream and you can clearly see two gigantic men being wrangled like puppies by the backs of their shirts, both slurring happily about how much they love volleyball and how much they love each other, bro.

in the center of the hallway, equidistant from either one of you, is the door to the only unoccupied sink on the first floor of the building.

of all the men in the world you would normally be willing to pick a fight with, a surly looking athletic trained with flexing biceps is not the first one you would choose to tangle with. but between your mixer dying on you, the two previous batches of buttercream that split on you, and the gigantic celebration cakes for the team, staff and the social media team still waiting to be frosted, you're willing to take your chances.

"hey!" he barks in shock, as soon as he realizes you're booking it to the door. Atsumu and Bokuto make alarmingly queasy sounds when he starts running in earnest to get to the door before you. "hey, stop! seriously?"

bokuto squawks, when Iwaizumi bodily swings his limp body across the threshold of the door, eyes narrowed at your buttercreamed hand just beginning to pull the door handle.

"pardon me," he says, low and deadly serious. "but i have two sick idiots about to blow chunks all over the walls."

"i have buttercream in my hair," you huff, eyes narrowed. "and three unfinished cakes waiting for me. i get you're in some sucky shit, but work trumps pukey people."

"urgh, iwa-san," atsumu mutters, strained, his forehead beading with sweat. "i think i'm gonna be sick."

"hold it in, you little bastard!" iwazumi barks, before turning back to you. "come on, can't you just wait 10 minutes?"

"i'm already running behind on my cooling and setting schedule," you snap back. "and i'll literally be done within in, like, two minutes!"

bokuto groans, hands coming up to hold his belly. "oh, man. i don't think i can wait two."

iwaizumi gives you a sharp look. "you want shit and puke on the carpets?"

"you want to fuck with my job?"

"i don't give a damn if your cakes come out late!" he snarls. "frankly, it sounds like you have bad time management skills."

"and you sound like you can eat my ass!"

at that moment, atsumu lurches forward, hand slapping over his face as he shoves past the two of you and steps over bokuto. before the door even closes, you can already the retching sounds of him vomiting into a toilet.

"oh shit, i'm gonna shit myself," bokuto mutters, pushing up onto his hands and knees, drunkenly crawling on all fours as he pushes open the door.

"oi! bokuto, at least stand up!" iwaizumi shouts, only to get a vaguely panicked "no way, man, it's about to come out!"

Iwaizumi gives up, rubbing his forehead and counting slow breaths, almost as if he's completely dismissed the fact that you're even there.

spite is like acid on the back of your tongue.

fine. fine. you're not unwilling to recognize when you've been defeated. but this is not how you go out against this guy.

Your latest dilf!Osamu not only had me craving him, but also croissants 😂😂 It’s not even 10am, but you made me hungry for bakery and I’m really tempted to run out and get some now asdfghjak

Dew it!!! It’s always time for a croissant!!

oh god. oh my god. iwaizumi and milf reader. you're freshly divorced, finding yourself after being in a relationship with you ex, and you're going back to the gym again. you're so nervous about being surrounded by all the beefy gym rats, and you're self conscious about how your belly hasn't never full snapped back after you gave birth, and how much your metabolism has changed and has started to store weight in new places. it never once crosses your mind that the surly looking lifter who is 10 years younger than you, is absolutely panting over you, and thinks about nothing else but pinning you up against the wall and rocking his dick up inside you, and showing you just how strong he is.

Your anime crush is so fucking weak for you. They practice asking you out in the mirror, stammer, blush, and lap up the barest scrap of your attention like it’s a four-course meal. Thanks I don’t take criticism

Never related more to a tweet

kirishima is not a homebody and also he makes you sit in his lap everywhere you guys go. you literally never have your own seat bc kirishima will manhandle you into his lap if he has to

iwaizumi who is so careful about his strength whenever it comes to you. who holds the back of your head whenever so it doesn't bump into a hard wall whenever he's pressing you up against it to kiss you. who is so nervous about spanking you in bed, even when you insist that you can take more, and never lets it be more than just a warm little love tap. who spends all his days yelling at athletes, but never raises his voice with you.

iwaizumi who just cannot control himself when you pick up a cheap multi-pack of white panties that cling and frame your booty cheeks just right, to the point where he has to cram his hand down your panties and working you over until he's dripping up his elbow and you're keening in near hysteric panic to try and wrestle him away. but he's just too strong.

men in suits are my weakness

IM BAWLING