All Of This. I Think So Many Partners Fall Into The Sexually Coersive Category Without Knowing What They're

All of this. I think so many partners fall into the sexually coersive category without knowing what they're doing. However, it's still ok to say no and stick to it, regardless of how the other person reacts.

I feel like too many consent-related posts focus too much on giving and getting consent, and not making sure that people feel comfortable not consenting. We talk too much of consent as if it is a given, as if you just have to ask and then you’ll get it.

like, there are so many things that boil down to “before you have sex, ask for consent” rather than “don’t assume you’re about to have sex unless you know for sure that the other party/parties want to, and even then they could change their minds”.

Which is just really unhelpful. The whole point of consent shouldn’t be “you should always ask for it and then you can have care-free sex”. That still assumes that you’re going to have sex, when the whole point of asking what people want to do is that it should be possible to say no.

Consent and dissent are both equally valuable. It’s OK if someone asks you if you want to do something, and you say no. And whether you say no for today, for a week or forever, it’s all fine.

Because you know that there are going to be people who think they’re so ~progressive~ and so ~feminist~. when they ask their partner(s) if they want to have sex, but then won’t be able to handle the word “no”.

More Posts from Venivampyr and Others

venivampyr

4 weeks ago

For realsies though

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venivampyr

1 week ago

i’m gonna hold your hand with a glove on when i say this

when disabled/chronically ill people tell you they can’t do something, then that is not your cue to tell them that they can actually or that they’ll always find an excuse if they’re looking for one.

when a disabled/chronically ill person says they can’t do something, sometimes that doesn’t mean it’s outside the realm of possibility, sometimes it means if they (attempted to) do that, they will seriously hurt themselves.

when a disabled/chronically ill person says they can’t do something, sometimes it’s preventative care, and they refuse to do that thing to prevent a flare up from happening/their symptoms getting worse in the first place.

disabled/chronically ill people are not “looking for excuses”, they are giving you reasons why. something they don’t even have to do! so maybe just accept the reasons they give you.

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venivampyr

3 weeks ago

i’m ok with monogamy because it’s a fucked up fetish thing

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venivampyr

2 weeks ago

Republicans have been fragile and extreme for decades.

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venivampyr

2 weeks ago

JD Vance is actually a whole hemorrhoid. #ChangeMyMind

JD Vance asks who gives these justices that Presidents appoint and the Senate confirms the right to hold us from doing obviously illegal things?

The feigned indignation is appalling.

JD Vance is the least genuine person, a friendless resentful asshole.

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venivampyr

1 week ago

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venivampyr

1 week ago

love when there’s like 4 people online and we keep reblogging the same posts from each other. literally just 4 bitches hanging out and telling each other “exactlyyyyy”

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venivampyr

1 week ago

This is fucking amazing