But Six Whole Hours! Trying To Go For A Record There?

smooches thru the years

Just remembered someone in the comments was freaking out about how gross it was to find Stancest stuff on Etsy. And I was like—?? Stancest on Etsy?? WHERE?? ‘Cause like, I’m into the ship and I’ve never seen it pop up, but they do?? Mental note: gotta look it up myself later.

Not that anyone cares, but I finally gave in and made this side account because I couldn’t resist interacting with the ships and content I enjoy. That said, I’ll probably stay quiet most of the time (if not always) and just stick to liking or reposting stuff. Part of it is because I’m shy, and the other part is that my English is almost nonexistent without a translator lol. I just wanted to leave this here to mark the start of this profile or something.

ford's encounter with the dream hipster revealing his greatest nightmare isnt JUST stanley dying, but it's very specifically stan dying *by his own hands*. one that he is responsible for, and where he'll be a spectator to his brother's doom, caused by HIM, and HIS hands.

And you have to wonder what scenario could possibly exist where that would happen.

I mean him killing his brother, caused by something that's his fault?

something else i really like is how even the dream hipster's joke "LOOKS LIKE YOU FINALLY GAVE YOUR BROTHER A HAND" is a poke at repressed guilt ford had about not helping stan.

guilt ford tries to hide, because it forces him to ask— acknowledge if he had a choice in losing his brother. to write in code, asking himself, "have i been too harsh all along?" while dropping tears onto the drawing of stanley offering him one last high six

"who knows what could happen if Cipher stepped inside stanley's mind for even one minute?" i guess what happened is literally ford's worst nightmare. kind of funny

Rewatching the show made me realize just how many pinecest moments there are. LOOK!

bro got a new voice and decides to wake his sister girlfriend up with it

Hmm, anyways…

Stan and Ford both go and get infinity bracelets, the permanent jewelry kind, and they use that as their wedding rings. They know they can’t really get married, on land at least, and with how much they work with their hands rings would simply get in the way. Plus, they don’t need their friends and family asking questions they can’t answer

But international waters are lawless, so they have their own little wedding ceremony on the Stan O’ War II near the Bermuda Triangle (Ford insisted). It’s just Stan, Ford, and some sort of Siren-ish creature (a hybrid or subset of the species perhaps) officiating their wedding. They connect the ends of the chains, Ford connecting Stan’s and Stan doing Fords, as the sun rises over them. Giving each other a passionate and heartfelt kiss as the golden rays shine over them, reflecting off their and their bracelets. Like their bracelets, chains unlinked and broken, they have come together to form their perfect union, never to break their circle and to stay together for the rest of their lives

(And then they spend their honeymoon fucking nasty style)

too lazy to type the dialogue lol

So anyways I think the worst part about Emma May is that she was so so loved. Fidds almost destroyed a city because she left him. Can you imagine loving someone that much? To the point of wanton destruction? She just couldn’t give him what he truly wanted so she lost her place in his list of priorities. He got carried away in Ford’s dazzling world and forgot that she was a person who needed companionship and attention, that she wasn’t just a concept to yearn for from a distance. Fiddleford forgot that she was a person a PERSON and all we see is this negative space, a garage in Palo Alto, an imprint left in their marriage bed, half a face on his desk, this forensic scattering left in her son’s existence and a crazed lunatic missing a Family, a Wife. She once existed. And he dug such a deep well of sadness within her that she quite literally disappeared completely from the narrative. Something something there’s a particularly cruel pain left by the selfishness of kindhearted men. Emma May, was it worth it?

When I think about the soft parts of the Stan twins’ personalities in canon and the way they’re buried in layers of toxic masculinity but in very distinct ways, it looks like Stan is more sensitive, while Ford is more sentimental; Stan is more outwardly aggressive, while Ford is straight up more violent.

Stan is definitely more easily brought to tears than Ford, as well as, in my opinion, more easily flustered. He cries about at least (if I’m not forgetting any) four times that we know in the show: at the funeral of the Stan statue, as he watches The Duchess Approves, when he temporarily wins the post of mayor of Gravity Falls, when he says goodbye to the children. (One time in his childhood flashback, too, but I’m giving him a pass because he was just a kid and I don’t fully trust Stan’s flashbacks for many reasons.) In the Lost Legends comics, he also cries twice as an adult: first of sadness, then because he was touched by the little boy’s pick of his book. (One time as a child, too, when he confesses to Ford about his wish to be appreciated by Filbrick, but that arguably doesn’t count.) The interesting thing is that, in the story, Soos comments that he knew those sobs, implying that he heard Stan cry often enough for him to be able to recognize them immediately. And the funny thing is that Stan never, ever admits that he’s crying: he got glitter in his eyes, or campaign confetti, or was simply cutting onions, among other flimsy excuses. To me, Stan is the textbook example of that tumblr post: “I don’t care, I say, caringly, as I care deeply.” No one really buys his facade 😭

Ford, on the other hand, seems to be considerably more stoic. Dipper observes in Journal 3 that Ford finally cries when he loses Stanley, and that it was the first time any of them ever saw Ford crying—just the need to point that out, the fact that everyone was surprised, says a lot. In TBoB, Ford cries after Bill’s utterly terrifying tormet reaches a breaking point. We know he does because he tells us himself that he “wept,” and is not ashamed of it.

The way I see it, a lot of Stan’s macho man masculinity is performative, and exaggerated, as well as his confidence. Stan has a very low confidence, but he acts as if it’s the contrary. Meanwhile, Ford’s egotistical confidence is not faked, it comes from within—I feel like he is so much more secure in his badassery, in his talents and abilities, in his masculinity, that it makes him just act more natural and casual about it. Of course, Ford is insecure too, and has a low self-esteem even as he has high confidence, but his insecurity is rooted in guilt and the feeling of being an outcast, never about his own competence.

Don’t get me wrong, though. Ford’s toxic masculinity is quieter than Stan’s, and very different, but just as present. It’s not performative at all, but second nature to him. It’s mostly about repressing his feelings and being, quote unquote, “distant from himself.” Very highlighted in Dipper and Mabel Vs. The Future, when he tells Dipper to simply not feel fear as if it’s the simplest, easiest thing a human being could achieve, as if you could just turn off that switch in your brain and make a conscious decision to ignore those damn pesky emotions. More than that, he acts as if that’s the right, rational, desirable thing to do.

I think that a lot of fans pay far too much attention to Ford’s nerdy, quiet side and end up assuming he can easily be fit into the softer, more responsible stereotype of a nerd. That is, more of a prude, more easily flustered, the kind of man who would be genuinely bothered by Stan’s swearing. That is not what we see in canon at all. When JK Simmons (Ford’s VA) asked Alex how he should sound, he was told to act “loud and brash”; in Journal 3, Ford tells us that he wanted to give himself up to Bill just to curse him right to his face; he consistently doesn’t shy away from weird or freaky or illegal things, but is casually and shamelessly attracted to them. (Not that I don’t think Ford would nag Stan about swearing. Ford is hypocritical like that.)

Which brings us to the aggressive vs violent comparison I used. Stan acts tough and makes threats, alright, but Ford actually means them. Stan might attempt to punch someone; Ford’s trigger-happy hand goes straight to his gun. His bounty poster in the multiverse warns that he is “armed and dangerous.” I wouldn’t want either of the Stan twins as my enemies, but Ford is the one I’d dread to find in a dark alley, so to speak. Beneath the veener of superficial calm and control, lies the truth that he’s (way) scarier than Stan and willing to go even crazier lenghts to get what he wants, be it a selfish, ambitious desire or the safety of his family.

Still, Ford is sentimental—melancholic, brooding, prone to nostalgia, with a penchant for drama. The way he writes about people in his journal is often very reflective and thoughtful, calling Stan the most selfless man he had ever met in any dimension, or Bill as (formely) the sun in his galaxy. A poetic soul, lover of flowery language.

That makes me think about their interactions post-Weirdmaggedon. I can easily imagine Ford suddenly saying some intense truth about the depth of his feelings for Stan in his most earnest tone and Stan predictably trying to play it off as a joke and ruining the mood but evidently (not secretly at all) melting inside. Don’t start acting all mushy, bro, Mabel isn’t even here 🙄 (😳) (he’s almost crying again and Ford knows it)

oh look, I made another comic.

old habits die hard