I Can’t Breathe

The only way to put "Markarth" and "safe" in the same string of words in when you put "is not" in the middle

“Welcome to Markarth, safest city in the Reach.” Within ten minutes of arriving I’ve witnessed a murder, become caught up in a civil war, and found Molag Bal squatting in someone’s basement.

Tag this with the story or stories that did this to you.

please consider: young Toshinori as a pizza delivery boy

AD! AU, Tokoyami was injured on mission, so Izuku offered some help 😁 Guess who wasn’t satisfied at all 😉

How would Blake, Ruby, and Weiss react to their first time with their s/o?

Blake:

-blake doesn’t have a hymen cause of all the flips and acrobatics that she does on a near daily basis.

-she will be nervous for her first time but is thankful that it wont hurt as much due to her hymen already being gone.

-blake will purr and nip alot during and after.

Ruby:

-now ruby does have a hymen and will be nervous and worried about how much pain there will be.

-she will not know what to do despite yang giving her “the talk” a while back.

-needless to say your first time with ruby will be sweet, caring, and full of love. 

Weiss:

-weiss does have a hymen but will take precautions so as to help limit the pain that will surely be there.

-she will be nervous but sure that this is what she wants.

-your night with weiss will slow and romantic. 

The most epics quotes of the best Abridged series

HELLSING ULTIMATE ABRIDGED Quote Game/Meme

Send in one of the following quotes from HUA to get my muse’s reaction!

There! I took the fucking shot! She’s dead! There’s blood everywhere!

Okay, Christ, fine, I’ll help you. But only ‘cause you’ve got nice tits.

Hey, (name)! (name)! This is awesome! You should totally join in! Seriously, there’s like 40 zombies in here! Just one shot in the head and they explode! Just like House of the Dead, only like, 100 times more awesome!

Oh, fuck the hell yes.

Sweet Black-fucking-Sabbath!

Oh, if it isn’t the Catholic Church! And what’s this? No Little Timmy glued to your crotch? Progress!

You done goofed.

…you Protestant fuck-bucket.

I’m a fuckmothering vampire!

You are reading your master’s mind! Put my head between your booooooooobs!

Oh, I’m sorry, I like to dirty talk when someone’s sucking my dick.

It’s just that I’m so agitated, because this blond little shit just strolled into my room, destroyed my 70-inch plasma TV, and is trying to impress me like I’m his alcoholic father.

Ah, fuck it. Skull-fuckin’ for everybody!

I would do fucking anything right now to get out of this.

BITCH, I EAT PEOPLE!

Oh fuck, that’s an anti-tank rifle. OH FUCK, THAT’S AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE!

What are you gonna do? Call that one guy who can stop me? What was his name…Michael McDoesn'tExist?

Get that bitch a cannon! Bitches love cannons.

What’s wrong, demigod? Just grow back your legs! Summon up your demons! Hit me! Fight me! Give me a hug!

You know, they say TV makes you violent. But I’d say not having my TV is making me pretty fucking violent!

Shut up and take my money!

Nazis~!

Master! My breasts keep getting bigger!

Jesus wants a hug!

HEYKIDSWANNASEEADEADBODY!?!

Right this way, Group B! That’s right, right in front of everybody else; you’re eighty, you’re used to it! We’re going to look at art and paintings, which I believe are also art! I dunno! I’m Cockney, I’m uncultured!

That’s right. I’m going to FUCK the fear turkey!

HEY DANDY DICK! You missed.

The fuck is this? The fuck is that?! The fuck are THOSE?!

I HAVE A FEAR OF FLYING, COFFINS, AND TIGHT SPACES!

You cheeky dick-waffle!

Zis is my favorite kind of ship — laden with blood und seamen.

Chuh-chuh-chuh-CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!

Ah. The return of the “why” boner. With a vengeance.

By Jove, you fuckin’ header of a woman! You’re surrounded by fifty Nazi vampires, armed literally to the teeth, and what do you do?! You get out of your fuckin’ car, pull out your sword, cut off one of their heads, and yell “Come at me, you Kraut shits!” NO WONDER (name) wants to plow that virgin soil! I’M THINKING ABOUT GROWIN’ SOME FLOWERS MYSELF!

(thing) for days.

We were prepared for a full-on tactical assault. Instead, we got a volley of swastika-covered dipshits running dick-first into enemy territory.

Hey, if we’re killing Nazis, we’ll worship a side of bacon!

Villain Deku AU + Exasperated Dad Might

Deku becomes a villain pretty young and All Might still hasn’t given up heroics because goddamnit he’s not ready to give up being All Might yet. All Might literally cannot fight Villain Deku at full power because this guy is just a KID and doesn’t he have GUARDIAN??? An Adult??? Someone to look after this sassy lost child who definitely shouldn’t be doing such illegal activities???

So All Might finds himself reluctantly stepping into Dad Might role whenever he fights the villain Deku because DAMNIT YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE AMAZING LIFE AHEAD OF YOU STOP THESE ILLEGAL SHENANIGANS YOUNG MAN

And the whole time Deku can’t decide whether to feel patronized by All Might or thrive off his attention (it’s some unholy mixture of both and the whole time he’s just CONFUSED about his own feelings on the matter) all he knows for sure is that he wants All Might to acknowledge him and his abilities

The whole city is just trying to hold itself together since it’s best hero is apparently trying to parent this unruly villain into submission

It’s got mixed results.

Do you have any ideas about how or when Deku and Momo would start to like each other? I was thinking like they got paired up for a class assignment or exercise. At first they are a bit distant, but they begin tolearn things about each other. That's when feelings begin to develop

Oh when it comes to a realisation of their feelings then I have a little thing in my head.

So during their first couple days of training Aizawa pairs up everybody in the class based on reverse scores so that 1st works with 20th, 2nd works with 19th and so on.

Because the positions are based on the beginning quirk test results Izuku is paired with Momo who he is immediately nervous and panicky around (Even more so than Uraraka because… I mean come on, Momo is stunning).

Momo on the other hand is a little distant and blunt with Izuku as she only see’s him as a nervous fool with a dangerous quirk.

And because it’s Aizawa, of course the situation is a battle scenario.

Izuku and Momo go up against Kirishima (8th) and Tsuyu (13th) in the Industrial Arena or Field Gamma if you’re a nerd like me.

Momo is quickly shocked when Izuku makes a quick 180 and provides a in depth analysis on both students and suggests a method of attack. Momo of course also having her own plan adds her own aspects Izuku failed to take into account.

The two teams fight with it being it slightly more one-sided towards Izuku and Momo because of the other teams lack of planning.

But in a case of pure Izuku luck, Kirishima destroys a large part of piping which is falling in Momo’s direction. She of course is in the process of creating something to help counteract the falling debris but Izuku has already pushed her out of the way and taken the hit instead.

Not expecting Izuku to do something so reckless, Momo quickly panics to get him free while Aizawa calls off the rest of the fight. Izuku is freed but his left arm is heavily broken and was pierced with a small steel beam.

Momo feels guilty in a slight sense and of course takes him to recovery girl and refuses to leave his side the whole time.

When he’s finally in a stable condition, Momo almost immediately asks him why he’d do something so impulsive in the middle of a fight. To which he simply replies:

“You looked scared… and I couldn’t stop myself.” 

Momo is taken aback by his comment and apologises for misjudging him so quickly.

Then of course the two would get to talking more and finding out that they are far more similar than they realised and they would end up confessing (Well more Momo) just before the Training Camp Arc.

That’s what I think anyways.