5.31.22

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

Cinematography in Bumblebee (2018), filmed in the Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park in Santa Cruz county, CA

“The Property Room” By Arthur Hughes (1879)

To live for the hope of it all

August by Taylor Swift (2020)

7.9.22-7.16.22

missoula mt 2022

summary of my last week and weekend. absolutely devouring dracula, i love it sm. biked to a coffeee shop with my dad too💛. starting one of my summer classes this week!!

5.25.22

finished the semester!! officially done with year 1 of college:)))) also dumped a guy and went to buy plants with my friend and her dad

girl who has only read dracula, consuming any media: getting a lot of “dracula” vibes from this..

“La Rubica” (1954) by Francisco Soria Aedo (1898-1965)

i love reading sad books bc when your own grief is stopped up inside you like a clogged drain you can grieve for a character on a page and understand that you're also grieving for yourself a little bit