I'm Somewhere Between An I'm-going-to-die Ecstasy And I'm-never-gonna-die Paralysis At Each Bare Moment.

unfortunately if you heavily curate and dampen parts of your being to avoid being cringe on your quest to be lovable you will never be loved for who you are and something will always feel missing. i know i know it's terrible. rips my own face off

the dark

I'm not anything but I believe in beliefs

Maybe it’s better to have the terrible times first. I don’t know. Maybe then, you can have, if you live, a better life, a real life, because you had to fight so hard to get it away⸺you know?⸺from the mad dog who held it in his teeth. But then your life has all those tooth marks, too, all those tatters and all that blood.

James Baldwin  This morning, this evening, so soon  

sometimes that sad feeling is due to low blood sugar, and sometimes it's from decades of history. not that complex

Call Me by Your Name (2017) dir. Luca Guadagnino