*starts Taking Hostages* STOP EMAILING ME

“this doesn’t compare to the feel of your skin”

“““You’re not a monster,” I said. But I lied. What I really wanted to say was that a monster is not such a terrible thing to be. From the Latin root monstrum, a divine messenger of catastrophe, then adapted by the Old French to mean an animal of myriad origins: centaur, griffin, satyr. To be a monster is to be a hybrid signal, a lighthouse: both shelter and warning at once.””

—

— Ocean Vuong, from “On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous”

me trying to communicate with the fbi agent that monitors me

From “Cinéastes de notre temps” Robert Bresson, 1965.

the epic highs and tragic lows of literally just being in my head on a perfectly normal day

Most important lesson I learned in the past year is, don’t let anyone turn you cruel. No matter how badly you wanna give the world a taste of its own bitter medicine. It’s never worth losing yourself over.

There’s something about being home for the holidays. The bathroom fan sounds the same, and I’m still not sure this house has ever been mine. I really want it to be. I look so different. I’m so much more than 12-yo me could have hoped for. Walking quietly through the house at night like im still young. The bathroom fan sounds the same. I’m going to get back to my life.

Peter De Potter, A Spartan for a Single Bed, erotic zine, issue 3, published november 2024, limited edition

www.peterdepotterindex.com