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Bill get a hold of yourself man

I FUCKING love cookie cake 10/10

They so tired of my shit

The missing Journal 3 pages in TBOB are so interesting to me in further contextualizing Ford's mindset of shame regarding Bill. We'd gotten a snippet of it in the original J3 release:

But Bill shows us the less pragmatic motivations behind his actions, the mushy feely stuff he was too embarrassed to properly journal, putting certain series events into new context. Particularly this scene where after a whole episode of dancing around it, he finally opens up to Dipper about the nature of their relationship:

"Bill wasn't always my enemy, Dipper. I used to think he was my friend, long long ago..."

But does he really tell the full truth here? The cat's out of the bag, Dipper knows they had a deal, there's no reason not to tell everything. But Ford proceeds to explain his reasoning for summoning Bill as a purely practical, scientifically-driven one.

"I had hit a roadblock on my investigation of Gravity Falls. Until I found some mysterious writing in a cave. Ancient incantations about a being with answers. It warned me not to read them, but I was desperate."

Desperate...for what? Ford would have us believe it was for the sake of knowledge. Yet TBOB shows us that this is the entry immediately preceding his and Bill's first meeting.

Ford isn't some unfeeling robot powered solely by knowledge, he has human needs. He was lonely, lonely enough to summon a demon for companionship. A companionship so intimate, he describes his meeting Bill as the best day of his life, and laments the periods of absence from him.

That desire for intimacy is ultimately what drove him, and even with all his dirty laundry laid out he can't admit that part to Dipper. Maybe he doesn't even realize it himself, at least not until the post-Weirdmaggedon sections of TBOB:

Under the shame of unleashing Bill Cipher's destruction on the world, there's a much deeper shame: that Stanford Pines is not a lone-wolf, unfeeling sci-fi hero, but a fallible human being, capable of illogical sentimentality and longing for approval and (in)human connection. The exact nature of this sentimentality and longing is left to interpretation, but the efforts he goes to to conceal it make me lean towards something beyond platonic. Alex Hirsch seems to agree:

"I think he is deeply, deeply hiding from his real feelings about things, because at some point early on, he decided that he could run from hurt by achievement and by creation, and has dug that hole so deep that he has no relationships. He doesn't have friendships, he doesn't have romantic relationships, he is someone trapped in a tower of his own mind and estranged. Ford shows none of that. He has sublimated himself romantically so, so deeply. (…) I really thought of Ford kind of like Tesla in that realm.”

TL;DR Ford is up in his feelings about Bill and repressing hard. This is also eerily reminiscent of the self-blame abuse survivors engage in, the hesitance to tell others, and shame over persisting feelings for their abuser.

erik is cool with anything unless it'll bother charles.

Okay the fact I PREDICTED the fact that BillFord is practically true and that they were sure as hell exes. Bill Cipher RADIATED toxic ex energy over Stanford. Even the show radiates toxic old man yaoi.

Bill. The fuck you callin' Ford "Fordsy"?

The fuckin' HAIR RUFFLING that Bill did to Ford. And Ford just TOOK IT?

I- Bill. The fuck?

In a deleted scene, Ford spat in Bill's eye (a.k.a. his mouth) and Bill just fuckin' licked it up. Like- Just think about that.

Ford. This is about you now. YOU WERE WAY TOO OBSESSED ABOUT BILL. You literally pulled a Mabel but instead of putting up posters of boy bands, you put up posters of Bill.

You literally called each other "partners". Yes, it can be platonic, but like... With everything else..? HMM-

This? For WHO? WHO WAS THIS FOR HMM? BILL?

Fearamid thing. If you read the Book of Bill, you know. It was just a ploy to seduce Ford.

Conclusion: Toxic Old Man Yaoi and the triangle is a toxic ex and the old man is an obsessed manipulated ex.

And then the whole "One sixer, please" in the Book of Bill like okay you gotta be kidding me.

I love Jennifer Coolidge soo much 😭😭😭

I’m manic panicing this shit won’t come out

I think my biggest canon event is when my dad read me the first and half of the second books from the dark tower series when I was in fourth grade before deciding hey maybe this is a little two adult for you. Like this genuinely changed me a lot as a person I would be very different if this didn’t happen

My creative writing teacher has banned fergalicious :(