Me whenever I post anything anywhere (unless I forget then I remember it after five billion business years)
me: I write for myself, not validation
also me after posting a fic *refreshes ao3 every five minutes*
(two things can be true)
Broke my heart, stomped on it and then spit on it as they left đ„ traveler twins are going to hit harder than anything else because sibling relationships have a shortcut to my heart y'all (why I'm so hellbent on separating Kanna and Yume (my OCs) is a mystery, however)
if I'm not gonna get it, I'm gonna draw itđ„Č
Hahaheehee atp I'd accept anything pls đ§ââïž
KAEDEHARA KAZUHA â§ Version 2.8 âSummer Fantasiaâ Trailer
â synopsis: you call him home without meaning to, and caleb holds onto it like a promiseâbecause even if neither of you says it outright, you already belong to each other.
â note/s: so i wrote an essay for my english class abt caleb. turns out i wrote the WRONG kind of essay. so i had to write another one. pure suffering but its caleb so all is acceptable!!
cross-posted on ao3! Ù©(ËáË*)Ù âĄ
the first time you say it, it's an accident. it slips out like breath, like something inevitable.
"you know, being with you... it feels like home."
"what did you just say?" he asks, voice quiet, almost careful. you don't even notice, but caleb does.
you grumble. "i said, 'caleb is a big dummy,'"Â
his hands still where theyâre tying his boots, and for a second, he forgets how to move. he laughs lightly, because he knows that isn't what you said, but he plays along anyway.Â
he holds onto the words a little too tightly.
he turns the word over in his head. he never thought much about it before. four walls, a roof, a place to return to. but you said it like it was something else, like it was something living. like it was something unshakable, something that belonged.
he doesnât say anything. doesnât want to break the moment. but when you leave the room, he flexes his fingers, trying to shake off the feeling sinking into his skin.
â
caleb has never been afraid of fire. heâs seen too much of it, grown up with the heat of war, of broken things burning. he doesnât flinch at destruction, doesnât look away from the ruins. but when he sees you standing in the doorway, sleepy-eyed, hair a mess, wearing his jacket over your shouldersâ
he understands why people call it warmth.
âwhat,â you say, voice rough from sleep, âare you staring at.â
he doesnât answer, just reaches for the kettle, pours you a cup. you take it without thinking, your fingers brushing his, and the contact is so brief, so small, but it sets something off inside him anyway.
he swallows it down. grins like thereâs nothing pressing against the inside of his ribs. âthought you were gonna sleep in.â
âcouldnât,â you mumble, cradling the cup. âyou werenât there.â
he doesnât know what to do with that. it shouldnât make his pulse stutter, shouldnât make his throat tighten. but it does.
and when you yawn and shuffle over to lean into his side, still half-asleep, he thinksâ
this. this is it.
â
you make fun of him for how easily he fixes things. broken radios, busted engines, anything with wires and circuits. you hand him something ruined and he brings it back to life.
âwhat about people?â you ask once, chin resting on your palm, watching him work. âyou think you could fix them too?â
he laughs, but itâs a quiet thing. âpeople arenât machines.â
âbut if they were?â
he glances at you, something unreadable in his expression. you wait for him to say something teasing, to brush it off, but he doesnât.
âthen iâd fix you first,â he says.
it catches you off guard. something shifts between you, heavy and quiet.
âiâm not broken, caleb.â
âi know,â he says, too fast. and then, softer, like itâs just for him: âi just donât want you to be.â
â
thereâs a storm outside. neither of you are sleeping.
youâre lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling, listening to the rain hammer against the windows. lightning flashes, and a second later, thunder rolls through the sky like a growl. caleb sits on the floor beside you, legs crossed, fingers absentmindedly fiddling with a lighter.
âcanât sleep?â he asks, even though he already knows the answer.
you shake your head. âyou?â
ânah.â
silence stretches between you. the kind thatâs comfortable.
you reach for his hand without thinking, fingers brushing over his palm, over the calluses, the old scars. he doesnât pull away. just lets you trace the lines there, slow and careful.
âyou ever think about leaving?â you ask, voice barely above a whisper.
âleaving what?â
âeverything.â
he tilts his head back, looking at the ceiling like it has answers. âyeah,â he admits. âsometimes.â
âwould you?â
he turns to you then, and thereâs something in his gaze, something unreadable but steady. ânot without you.â
your throat goes tight.
you donât know how to say what youâre feeling, so you squeeze his hand instead. he squeezes back. the rain keeps falling, the storm rages on, but here, in this space between you, itâs quiet.
â
youâre both terrible at goodbyes.
when he leaves, itâs never for long. never more than a few weeks at a time. but it still lingers, still settles in your chest like something heavy.
he pulls you into a hug before he goes, arms tight around you, like heâs trying to memorize the shape of you. like if he holds on tight enough, he wonât have to miss you.
âstay out of trouble,â he murmurs against your hair.
âno promises,â you say, trying to sound light, but your voice wavers.
he pulls back just enough to look at you. his eyes are warm, steady. âiâll be back soon.â
âyou better.â
he grins, but itâs softer than usual. then heâs gone, and the space he leaves behind feels bigger than it should.
â
when he comes back, youâre waiting.
he doesnât get a chance to say anything before youâre throwing yourself at him, arms around his neck, holding on like youâll never let go. he catches you easily, his laugh breathless against your ear.
âmissed me that much?â
âshut up,â you mumble, but you donât pull away.
he just holds you tighter. presses his face into your shoulder, breathes you in like heâs been drowning and youâre air.
and when you whisper, quiet but certain, âyou're here,â
he closes his eyes and thinks, yeah.
heâs home.
Don't mind me here while I explode
// cn server spoilers, luke top up card
He's so pretty đđ
marius
Had this idea of peeling an apple in my journal and thought it suited Caleb very wellđ„șđđâš
happy birthday my love <3
Itâs been so longâŠ..
Just an ace gal who wanted to see some rep in fiction, so she decided to write her own. I also draw and write (find me over at @ippilulu), and sing like a cat who does not want your hugs. Total Asra stan. And Caleb. And Julian. And... you get the gist. She/Her
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