I Just Remembered That When I Was A Kid I Put Serious Thought Into An Idea For An Edgy Villainy Themed

idk why but i’m laughing when i imagine this situation in real life

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! PEEPS!!! LOOK!!!!!!!

Cinderella “plot holes” I am tired of hearing about

“Why didn’t her step family recognize her?” Because royal balls were basically the candle lit equivalent of clubbing in terms of both lighting and sheer numbers. Even if they were right next to her, they probably wouldn’t get a good look, especially since it would have started after sundown. Also, she was the help; they probably hadn’t looked at her in years.

“Looking for someone based on their shoe size is stupid!” See above.

“Was he going to have every size seven in the kingdom try the slipper on?” Prior to industrialization most garments were made by hand to fit the buyer’s measurements, including shoes. It’s why poor people only had one pair. It’s a lot smarter when you consider that they would’ve fit her like a glove.

“You can’t run down stairs in heels!” I know this is a misconception resulting from historical revisionism and disneyfication, but high heels were not originally women’s shoes. They were worn by men. Women wore slippers, which were basically ballet flats. So it’s debatable.

“Glass shoes don’t make any sense!” Okay first of all, it’s called the suspension of disbelief, and secondly, they’re gold in every other version but Perrault decided to change them to something else expensive.

“She just went to the ball to find a man!” I know this isn’t a plot hole but listen. As the daughter of a widower Cinderella would’ve been running the household finances and acting as hostess if he hadn’t remarried. By demoting Cinderella to a servant, her step-mother essentially guaranteed that she would never escape the house, because the only way for her to escape and maintain her status was to marry well, and no one was going to marry a servant. It was essentially the historical equivalent of your mom stealing your college acceptance letters out of the mailbox.

jacksepticeye |  1 million ⟶ 20 million

“i’m really proud of this community. if anyone ever tells you in your life that you’ve never made a difference, that you never changed someone’s life, or that you’re worthless, just show them the jacksepticeye channel, show them the community that we’ve all built here together. because you guys have changed my life. you guys have made me a completely different person all for the better. you’ve made such a difference to me, and you matter to me, all of you.” –– jacksepticeye 1,000,000 subscriber special

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God of War in D&D: The Blades of Chaos

Blades of Chaos

Magic Weapon (shortswords) - Artefact (Requires Attunement by a character with a Strength score of 15 or higher. Can only be attuned during combat, as an action.)

These paired blades are granted to a champion of the God of War, attaching themselves to their user with burning chains that coil around the user’s wrists. Additionally, the blades can be empowered with runic enchantments to deliver a wide array of different attacks. These paired magic shortswords have the following properties:

You gain +3 to attack and damage rolls made with these weapons. Attacks made with these weapons deal an additional 1d4 fire damage.

When making an attack with these weapons, you make one attack for both weapons, dealing the damage for both weapons on a successful hit.

These weapons have a range of 15 feet.

You may make a thrown weapon attack with one blade. This attack has a range of 15 feet. On a successful hit, the target must succeed on a Strength saving throw with a DC of 8 + your proficiency bonus + your Strength modifier, or be pulled up to 15 feet directly towards you.

Once per turn you may make a heavy attack with these weapons. A heavy attack deals an additional 1d4 fire damage.

This weapon can have two Runic abilities installed at any one time. Only one of these can be a normal attack rune, and only one can be a heavy attack rune.

Runes

Runes can be found as common magic items. While they don’t have any power on their own, each rune can add a unique attack that the wielder of the Blades of Chaos can use. Each rune can be used as an action. Light attack runes can be used up to 5 times. Heavy attack runes can be used twice. For runes with saving throws, the DC = 8 + your proficiency bonus + your Strength modifier. You regain all uses of your runes when you complete a short or long rest.

Runes - Normal Attacks:

Cyclone of Chaos – All creatures within 15 feet of you  must make a Dexterity saving throw, suffering 1d6+3 slashing damage and 1d4 fire damage on a failed save or half as much on a success.

Nemean Crush – All creatures on a 15-foot long, 5-foot wide line from you must make a Dexterity saving throw, suffering 1d6+3 slashing damage and 3d4 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much on a success.

Rampage of the Furies – Make three attacks with the Blades of Chaos against one creature within range. If the final attack hits, all creatures within 5 feet of the target must make a Dexterity saving throw, suffering 1d4 fire damage on a failed save.

Rage of the Titans - You leap up to half your movement speed towards one creature, during which you ignore difficult terrain and can’t be targeted by opportunity attacks, then make two attacks against it with the Blades of Chaos. If one or more of these attacks hit, the creature must succeed on a Strength saving throw or be pushed 5 feet directly away from you.

Icarus Storm – You draw your blades close, surging forward and slashing open a path. Move 15 feet in a straight line. During this movement, you can’t be targeted by opportunity attacks, and you may move through spaces occupied by other creatures. Each creature occupying a space that you move through must make a Dexterity saving throw or suffer 1d6+3 slashing damage and 1d4 fire damage, or half as much on a failed save.

Wrath of Artemis – All creatures within a 10 foot cone from you must make a Dexterity saving throw, suffering 1d6+3 slashing damage and 1d4 fire damage, and being pushed back 10 feet on a failed save, or suffering half as much damage on a success.

Blast of Hephaestus - All creatures within a 10 foot cone from you must make a Dexterity saving throw, suffering 4d8 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much on a success.

Spartan Charge – You rush forward surrounded by fire magic, slamming into an enemy. Move up to your normal movement speed towards a creature, during which you can’t be targeted by opportunity attacks, then make an attack against that creature with the Blades of Chaos. On a hit, the attack deals an additional 3d4 fire damage, and the creature must succeed on a Strength saving throw or be knocked prone.

Runes - Heavy Attacks:

Tartarus Rage – You bring each of your blades down one after the other, for two explosions of flame. Each creature within a 5-foot radius sphere, centred on a point within 15 feet of you, must make a Dexterity saving throw, suffering 2d8 fire damage on a failed save or half that much on a success. After damage is dealt, repeat this process once.

Prometheus Flame -  You slam your blades into the ground, summoning a pillar of flame beneath all creatures within a 15-foot cone. Affected creatures must make a Dexterity saving throw. A creature suffers 4d6 fire damage and is knocked prone on a failed save, or suffers half as much damage on a success.

Hyperion Slam – You channel fire through your blades as you slam both of them into the ground for a devastating explosion. Each creature within a 10-foot radius sphere centred on a point within 15 feet of you must make a make a Dexterity saving throw, suffering 3d12 fire damage on a failed save or half that much on a success.

Hyperion Grapple – You throw your blades at a target, then drag yourself towards them for a follow up strike. Make a ranged attack with your Blades of Chaos against a target within 20 feet. On a hit, this attack deals damage as if the target was hit by two attacks from the Blades of Chaos. You then move 20 feet directly towards the target, during which you can’t be targeted by opportunity attacks. If this movement puts you within 5 feet of the target, you may immediately make an unarmed strike attack against the target.

Meteoric Slam – Drawing power from your blades, you summon a rain of flaming rock in a 20-foot-radius, 40-foot high cylinder centered on yourself. Each creature other than you in the cylinder must make a  Dexterity saving throw. A creature takes 2d8 bludgeoning damage and 4d6 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Fire of Ares – Slamming your blades into the ground, you unleash a shockwave of fire. Creatures on a 20-foot line from you must make a Dexterity saving throw, suffering 4d6 fire damage damage and falling prone feet directly away from you on a failed save, or suffering half as much damage on a success.

Gift of Apollo - You draw runic healing energies into the Blades of Chaos. For 2 rounds, whenever you damage a creature with the Blades of Chaos, you regain hit points equal to the amount of damage the target suffers.

God of War belongs to Santa Monica Studios. You can find all of my God of War content here. If you want to support my work, you can make a donation to my ko-fi here, or support me on Patreon here for early access to upcoming content and patron-only design process posts!

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DO NOT SUPPORT SALVATION ARMY 

Destiel

What people think Destiel shippers want;

Dean: *for the 400th time this episode*  I LOVE YOU *dramatically swoons into Cas arms*

‘Everyone suddenly becoming TV gay stereotypes or suddenly acting OOC’

Cas: Sam who?

Dean: Sam who?

Sex and making out all the time.

What we actually want;

Dean: You Do (x) and you’re sleeping on the couch!

Cas: I’m an angel Dean, I don’t sleep

Sam: You didn’t think that one through did you

Dean: Shut up.  YOU’LL STILL BE ON THE COUCH

Cas: It’ll be an escape from your snoring!

Dean: I DO NOT SNORE

~~~

Dean: Did you take my pillow?

Cas: …. no.

Dean: huh *walks off*

Sam: You better give him back the pillow

Cas: I thought he wouldn’t notice

~~~

Sam: *to both of them* Oh no I have already learned my lesson about knocking before entering your room.  

~~~

Occasional kisses, like one sex scene if neccessary.  

-Sitting next to one another

-still acting as best friends

- Sam and Cas being the ultimate BROTP

- Cas teaming up with Sam to pull pranks on Dean when they’re having a disagreement, Dean roping Cas into pranking Sam, Dean and Cas pranking each other.  

-ACTUALLY TALKING TO ONE ANOTHER.  

-More references to pop culture Dean has introduced Cas to

- Dean spouting some lore knowledge because he just likes listening to Cas say it and Sam getting irritated that Dean doesn’t listen to him as much when he starts talking about lore. 

-when exiting a motel, Sam walks out a different room door to Cas and Dean but there’s otherwise very little mention of it.  

-Dean and Cas using more cover names that relate to bisexual musicians and pop culture figures - Dean already has an ID for Freddie Mercury seen in s1e1.  

-Cas staying in the bunker, if the writers don’t want Cas in the storyline for that episode, he’s in the bunker researching lore for the Big Bad of the season whilst Sam and Dean get some needed time off hunting something smaller, or training Jack or something that means he doesn’t constantly leave all the time.  

IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK

Homestuck ruined this for me.