Always Needs To Be Reblogged.

Always needs to be reblogged.

More Posts from Unkajosh and Others

1 year ago

This is 100% true, and the "Drop the T" idiots need to LEARN it. They won't be accepted by right-wingers for turning on their own. Only in unity is strength possible.

was thinking about infighting and like. they all see us the same. from the wildest queerest fagdyke to a cis gay guy. we are the same to them. the weird queers are not like. ruining your precious community. we're a part of it

1 year ago

This is the only possible explanation that makes any sense at all. Headcanon accepted.

The naming of female characters in Bond movies makes a lot more sense if you headcanon them as trans women who picked their own slutty names.

Like, can I believe "Pussy Galore" is a cis woman who was named that as a baby? No. But a trans woman who got vaginaplasty and is very proud it of? Of course!

4 months ago

Hey, sometimes it's about finding what you have in common.

unkajosh - Just this guy, you know?
1 month ago

She chose to be a horrible person. That's all there is to it. Done with her.

Hey, has anybody read The Worst Witch? it's a great YA series about a clumsy but earnest witch at a witch school, with broomstick-riding and cursing and potion classes and everything!

unkajosh - Just this guy, you know?
9 months ago

Trans women are women. Pass it on.

unkajosh - Just this guy, you know?
4 months ago

Just amazing stuff!

Art By Xiaoyu Huang
Art By Xiaoyu Huang
Art By Xiaoyu Huang
Art By Xiaoyu Huang
Art By Xiaoyu Huang
Art By Xiaoyu Huang
Art By Xiaoyu Huang

Art by xiaoyu huang

1 year ago

YES THAT WORD RIGHT THERE

1 year ago

If they feel shy about it, they could always cover Blue Moon!

unkajosh - Just this guy, you know?
1 year ago

I would so PAY TO SEE THIS AS A WEBCOMIC OR ANIMATION

The goblin looked at the orc. The orc looked at the goblin. They both looked down at the crumpled shape of the Overlord, His Unholy Majesty, in his obsidian armor.

His final spasms had been mesmerizingly acrobatic. The fall down the steps leading up to his iron throne had pretzelled his body quite impressively, both arms folded behind his back and one leg bent at a jaunty angle.

The goblin looked at the orc. The orc looked at the goblin.

"Shit," said the goblin.

"Shit," said the orc.

"We're likely to get blamed for this," the goblin said. She walked over to the head of the glittering mangled heap and started pulling the helmet off.

"It's not our fault," the orc said. "It's hard to help someone choking when they wear two-hundred pounds of spiked armor at all times."

"Yeah, well," the goblin grunted. The helmet came free, and the bald head of the Overlord bounced on the stone with a hollow, coconut noise. "You know how it is in this bloody country - thieves get their heads cut off so they can't think about thieving, and all that." She fished in the Overlord's mouth with a finger and pulled out the obstructing olive on the end of her claw.

She popped it into her mouth and chewed. "What do you reckon they do for a regicide?" she said.

"We should run," the orc said. She had started bouncing her leg. "I hear that there's some places in the Alliance where they just kill you and let you stay dead. That's got to be nicer than what'll happen if we stay here."

The goblin started to nod - and then her gaze fell on the helmet.

It looked like a pineapple designed by a deranged blacksmith. It was all thorns and spikes and hard edges, as though the maker had been very determined to not let pigeons roost on it. The only bits that weren't solid iron were eyeholes. Nobody had ever seen the Overlord's face.

She held up the helmet and squinted from it to the orc. One of the thorns had been bent badly in the fall.

Nobody had ever seen the Overlord's face...

"Right," she muttered. "Right. Could work - or."

The orc had a sudden vision of the immediate future. "No," she said.

"I mean you're about his height-"

"No."

"It would just be for a-"

"Absolutely not."

"Just hear me out," the goblin said. "Outside of this room are two-thousand men and orcs and goblins who are absolutely gonzo about this man, and there's a whole country of them outside of the castle, and at any moment someone's going to walk in that door and see one dead tit in black armor and two unbelievably dead idiots next to him.

"Or." She tossed the helmet up like a basketball to the orc, who fumbled and tried to find somewhere to hold it that wasn't a knife's edge. "We chuck him out the window now, walk out the door in the armor, and ditch the armor as soon as nobody sees us."

The orc had started bouncing her leg again. "They'll know something's up the second I walk out of the room."

"No worries," said the goblin. "Leave that to me."

---

It had been a very strange year for the Empire.

Change had rolled across the land as slow and inevitable as a glacier. Roads and bridges carved the gray, blasted wildlands, and a number of social reforms had made the country a place where you could be miserable, yes, but miserable in comfort and safety, and that was an improvement.

Barely anyone got boiled alive in molten metal, and even if the disgusted sun never rose to light the Empire, at least you had a roof over your head to protect yourself from the acid rain.

"Your empire flourishes, Your Unholy Majesty," the magician said over her wine glass. She looked down from the tower's balcony over the gleaming stone battlements. Some work had been done to line the castle and surrounding city with sizzling, crackling alchemical lights at night. The whole thing glowed like something dangerously radioactive.

The suit of armor waved a languid, glittering gauntlet over to the goblin, who bowed.

"His Abominable Gloriousness Thanks You," the goblin recited. "The Prosperity Of His Empire Can Only Be Achieved Through The Prosperity Of His People."

"If I may be so bold, I am quite pleased that you had chosen to take my counsel under consideration," said the magician. "We have accomplished many things together."

Another wave. Another bow. "The Overlord, May His Presence Swallow The Sun And Stars, Thanks You As Well."

"It was quite gratifying to see you change your mind, after so many centuries of denial." The wine was swirled. "Tell me, what was it that finally gave you cause to listen to me?"

There was the slightest hesitation. The goblin's eyes flicked to the armor, then to the magician. She puffed out her chest. "Do you question the wisdom of His Austere Lugubriousness?" she asked.

The magician looked at the goblin. She looked at the armor. She tipped her head back and drank the wine too quickly.

She looked back at the armor. "I know you're the orc, you moron," she said.

The room went deathly still. An alchemical light fizzled.

The orc pulled off the helmet, sending long, untied hair down tangling, and said: "How could you possibly-"

"Because you're both idiots!" the magician said. The goblin jumped. The orc jumped with a noise like a dropped stove. "What kind of a plan was this?! If it wasn't for me, you would have been turned into fertilizer months ago."

She closed her eyes. She took a long, dramatic breath. She set the wine glass down on the balcony rail.

"How did the Overlord die?" she asked when she seemed like she had gotten a hold over herself.

"Choked on an olive," said the goblin.

"Threw his body out the window," said the orc.

"You don't have to mention the window," said the goblin.

"Right," said the orc. "Sorry."

The magician looked out over the city, hand curled thoughtfully under her nose. "Who knows about this?"

"Just us. And, uh. You. Apparently."

"And why did you accept my counsel?"

The orc blinked. "Sorry?"

"Why did you accept my counsel?" the magician repeated.

"Well," the orc said. "Well - you seemed like you had good ideas-"

"Great ideas!" the goblin said with an edge of desperation. "Don't know why the old bastard didn't listen to you!"

"Right - right," said the orc. "And when we figured we were stuck doing this - well, it just made sense, really."

The magician seemed to absorb this. She nodded. "All right," she said, striding between the two and grabbing the crystal decanter.

"Um," said the orc. "Sorry. What happens now?"

"What happens is that you two will continue to serve as Overlord," said the magician. "You will continue to take my counsel. We will continue to reform this bloody country, and gods willing, we will turn it into the crown jewel of the world by next Midwinter."

The orc looked at the goblin. The goblin looked at the orc.

"Really?" the goblin asked.

"Oh yes," said the magician. "I've worked hard to be counsel to the Overlord, and I have no reason to stop now. And besides-"

She looked the orc up and down with a deliberate slowness, poring over every microscopic detail, eyes tracing over every jagged line, and grinned like a panther.

"You look much better in the armor than he ever did," she said. Dark robes swirled like a becleavaged thundercloud, and she strode out through the high iron doors, decanter in hand.

The goblin looked at the orc. The orc looked at the goblin.

"Shit," said the goblin.

"Shit," said the orc.

1 year ago

They need to be better known!  And if they’re predators, can we train them to hunt creationists?  (I don’t mean for them to HURT anybody.  Just track them down, and skim in front of them holding up signs that say “I got your transitional form RIGHT HERE BUDDY”)

THDI IS FUCKING KILLING MEEEE

  • insanecurlieeeefriessss
    insanecurlieeeefriessss liked this · 1 week ago
  • luxaii
    luxaii liked this · 1 week ago
  • urbutchdad
    urbutchdad liked this · 1 week ago
  • matchagoga
    matchagoga reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • psi-triforce
    psi-triforce reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • loveleffie
    loveleffie liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • the-2nd-random-kid
    the-2nd-random-kid reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • cabinetsecurity
    cabinetsecurity reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • likewisewise
    likewisewise reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • i-am-unoriginal-posts
    i-am-unoriginal-posts reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • the-2nd-random-kid
    the-2nd-random-kid reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • not-a-bit-good
    not-a-bit-good reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • the-diggler
    the-diggler reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • violetablood
    violetablood reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • heiiioos
    heiiioos liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • wicked-stitches
    wicked-stitches liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • silly-stein
    silly-stein liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • failuretothrivehere
    failuretothrivehere liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • mis-mcgifsten
    mis-mcgifsten reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • walkasunder
    walkasunder reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • ziggycas
    ziggycas liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • splonkblonk
    splonkblonk reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • splonkblonk
    splonkblonk liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • might-as-well-happen
    might-as-well-happen reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • crimsonleaf
    crimsonleaf reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • divaani
    divaani reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • journeythroughtherain
    journeythroughtherain reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • littlefreaknat
    littlefreaknat liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • mechanicaum
    mechanicaum reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • melaninking7667
    melaninking7667 reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • melaninking7667
    melaninking7667 liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • onedayillbelong
    onedayillbelong reblogged this · 4 weeks ago
  • blue-cat-ter-flies-blog
    blue-cat-ter-flies-blog reblogged this · 4 weeks ago
  • desperauc
    desperauc liked this · 1 month ago
  • kahuna-burger
    kahuna-burger reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • sotetsiraly
    sotetsiraly reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • kapitanmaleni
    kapitanmaleni liked this · 1 month ago
  • mildlyexistentialcrisis
    mildlyexistentialcrisis reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • therantingsocialscientist
    therantingsocialscientist reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • pelathan
    pelathan reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • roruna
    roruna reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • mistress-of-words
    mistress-of-words reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • thefuturesimperfect
    thefuturesimperfect liked this · 1 month ago
  • heated-drama-between-men
    heated-drama-between-men liked this · 1 month ago
  • airdra
    airdra reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • ourcoralstar
    ourcoralstar reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • 3m4il
    3m4il reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • aurorean
    aurorean liked this · 1 month ago
unkajosh - Just this guy, you know?
Just this guy, you know?

193 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags