Rereading The Mafia Au And I Choose To Believe This Is Jazz And His Brother

what did you say again im all ears

Had a silly experimentation with Saiki🤍

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each one of the seven secretly thinks "i'm the most useless person on this ship. everyone is doing smth cool fighting stuff and all and i'm just here. like an idiot"

exept for annabeth

she always thinks she's the most competent person in the room and it's usually true

Give me a Percy Jackson who hates swim team. Who went to a public pool for swim lessons once when he was five and started to sob the second his skin hit the water

give me a Percy Jackson who is always just the slightest bit unsettled at pools because water is never meant to have the life sucked out of it and be divided into lanes or put in boxes in the ground

Water isn’t meant to be contained.

a percy jackson whose skin feels like it’s slowly beginning to burn when he tries to swim in chlorinated water, who hates any set swim stroke with a passion and can’t stick to one for the life of him

who doesn’t understand why you’d want to keep only to the surface of the water, when being cradled under the surface is everything

because swimming is supposed to be like the tides, maybe patterned, but never identical, it’s supposed to be flowing with the world around you as you please

Give me a Percy Jackson who loves the sheer nature of water so much that he can’t help but quietly despise our “pools” and their dead water with their constricted sides and restrictions on what it means to change with the world around you

A Percy Jackson who is the child of water in its most natural state, and who can hardly bear to see the way society has attempted to contain it and sterilize it and strip away its power

He hates swim team, but that’s only the half of it

So, I know the fandom (myself very included) love to talk about JLA playing fuck marry kill with Brucie Wayne as an option...but I offer an alternative. Bruce overhears a conversation between Clark, Diana, and Hal.

Clark: No I mean if we're playing, I'd fuck you Diana, obviously it would be a wonderful night--

Diana: and all the way into the morning, obviously

Clark: Obviously. And I'd marry Batman, so sorry Hal, I guess you gotta go.

Hal, outraged: Marry Bats???? Over Me???

Clark: Yeah, hello, have you seen him? No offense and all, but if you get the chance to sleep with wonder woman you kinda have to. And if I marry Batman I get sweet gadgets, nerdy banter, awful coffee, and I get to use the little ears on the cowl as handles while I bend him over the breakfast table every morning.

(plot twist, Clark totally knows Batman's there and this is his extremely weird and roundabout way of flirting)

when you hear the premise of saiki k is "a loner boy with amazing psychic powers is constantly hounded by people desperately wanting to be his friends" its easy to assume that its because they think his powers are awesome, but... they dont even know about his powers. they just all love his autism swag so much that theyll start crying and screaming and throwing up if hes not around

don’t get me wrong i love jason grace very much, he’s a doll, but i think the difference between how the camps reacted to the exchange of leaders was SO funny. i think it just goes to show that no matter how amazing other characters are, percy is just that guy

like

camp half blood: who the hell is this guy? you said your name was jason? where’s percy? have you seen percy? you’re not percy. yeah yeah yeah, son of zeus and whatever, why don’t you just sit down while we all keep looking for percy. good job on your quest i guess but now our camp’s mission is to dedicate the next 6 months to building a ship that will help us go find percy

camp jupiter: AYYY LOOK WHAT WE GOT! LEGENDARY GIANT-SLAYING SON OF NEPTUNE! EVEN THE GODS RESPECT HIM!! HE’S ONLY ACTUALLY BEEN AT CAMP FOR A GRAND TOTAL OF LIKE 24 HOURS BUT LETS MAKE HIM OUR NEW LEADER! HES SO COOL AND AWESOME!

like even the female leaders react that way lol

annabeth: jason is nothing compared to percy. why is he even here? i don’t trust him. i want percy back. someone find percy goddammit!

reyna: i love and miss jason but now i’ve got percy! this is great im so happy! i wonder if he’ll be my boyfriend…

LOL

CHB to jason: CJ with their new percy: