Real Talk: When I Gave Up

WTH this actually happened?!

Stop he’s so cute

i PERSONALLY would like to FALL IN LOVE please!!!!!! and have the SAME PERSON fall in love with me BACK!!!!!!! could i get some MUTUAL AFFECTION out here!!!!!!!!!

If you’re seeing this, this is your 888. Reap the abundance before you and feel the luck which swashs like the tide at your feet.

stop comparing yourself to others and start living by your own standards. individuality makes you beautiful.

Points to remember

1. Self must be expressed in the outer world. That's why there is nothing to change but self.

2. It's actually the inner man desiring not your body. So it must be fulfilled in your inner world.

3. Acceptance of your desires means to accept the desire in imagination.

4. Have faith that you are already what u want to be, once you accepted it.

5. Creation is finished, means, you have to do nothing but be in the state of already having it.

6. Whenever you thought negatively about your desires remind yourself that States manifest, thoughts don't.

7. A state can be maintained by the methods like affirming, visualising etc,.

8. You can change your state by intention, like, u can say " I'm already what i want to be" with knowing that it is true. This is how u change a state

9. It's not for how long you stay in a state, it's actually how often u be in the state of wish fulfilled. " It is the frequency". If you think about your desire 10 times a day then out of 10 how many times do you feel the wish fulfilled.

10. As long as you fulfill your desires in imagination, you shall not be worried about anything.

11. Feeling ≠ emotions, feeling is knowing that u have your desires.

12. 4d>3d, just like 3d>2d.

Hi, I don't really know what to do anymore. I've come to a point where I'm just tired of this whole thing. For the past month now I've been persisting in the state of the wish fulfilled and making it natural. And I've already reached that point even to the fact that yesterday till today I've been spiralling so hard about my desires and have gotten very depressed. I feel so tired physically and mentally, but even so I still have the assumption that all is done and that my desire is a promise that will reflect into the 3d.

But I don't know why this state hasn't reflected itself into the 3d. I know it's not something we should worry about, but I can't help but pay attention to it when I'm literally living it. Like yes i can tell myself that it's ok that all this is happening because it's going to change soon. But when it's been a month and I'm still dealing with these situations despite knowing that I already have what I want in imagination, it just makes me wonder why my subconscious mind isn't reflecting it yet.

I don't know what else to do because I feel I've done everything on my part. I have the assumption that once I embody a state my subconscious mind will reflect it immediately and that doesn't to be happening. And even then I just didn't care because I have my desire and regardless my subconscious mind will reflect it. But it's been a month now and I don't know what's going on.

I can't seem to give up because I know that regardless I am going to end up with my desire. I just want it to happen now.

okay, i've been really busy and i was going to take a break from tumblr but this ask sounds desperate and reminds me of the old me so I'm going to answer this and take a break. I'll get to other asks when I have some time.

first of all, thank you for trusting me enough to send me this

second, please take care of your mental health. I've also been there where I was so consumed and obsessed with the law to the point where I was mentally and physically exhausted. i know it sounds too cliche but please drink enough water, eat good meals, spend time with people who love and care for you if you have any, meditate to calm your mind, go out for walks, shower, move your body, etc. you get the point.

third, this is really important so i need you to pay attention to this. you say you're in a state of the wish fulfilled. but are you really? i do not say this discredit and invalidate you. i need you to take a step back, detach from your thoughts and feelings and take an honest and critical observation of your state of being. are you really in a state of consciousness of being it or are you still trying and waiting and hoping?

your state dictates your reaction. your state dictates your reaction to your 3d circumstances, thoughts, and environment. IF YOU'RE STILL HAVING THE SAME REACTION TO YOUR 3D CIRCUMSTANCES, THEN YOU HAVE NOT CHANGED, PERIOD.

if you're still looking at your 3d circumstances and think "ugh I hate this I need this to change. i did everything right why has it not changed?", I'm sorry to break it to you, but you have not changed within.

when you're in a state of consciousness of being/having it, your feeling(not emotion) changes and you no longer react to your 3d the same way not because you're forcing yourself to be that way but because it doesn't bother you anymore.

please please re-read your last sentence.

"i just want it to happen now"

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WANTING NOT BEING IT ALREADY???????

seriously. what are you doing desiring not giving it to yourself?

the first step is to stop desiring. NOT by suppressing your desire, but by giving it to yourself to the fullest in imagination/consciousness ONLY. read these quotes by neville carefully and compare what neville says and what you sent me here.

“you cannot persist in wanting what you already have. if you assume you are what you desire to be to the point of ecstasy, you no longer want it”

“so i no longer want to be it, i am it!”

"you cannot continue desiring what has been realized"

“i cannot have and still continue to desire what i have. i may enjoy it, but i cannot continue wanting it”

your reaction to the 3d and old thoughts is a good indicator to see whether or not you have changed within but another good indicator is to see whether you're desiring or feeling fulfilled.

if you felt fulfilled because you already have it, you wouldn't have said what you sent me, would you? you're lacking. you're desiring. please leave the 3d entirely alone because you're not lacking anything in the 3d. you're lacking in consciousness. that's why you want results in the 3d. you want results in the 3d so they can fulfill and satisfy the lack you're having in consciousness/imagination.

you're lacking within so you want something on the outside to fulfill that lack within. it doesn't work that way. you fulfill within first and then it happens on the outside. as within, so without. you always push your self out. life is a simulation of SELF. stop seeking validation from the 3d and seek validation from your SELF.

when you desire something, it's not your physical body desiring in the 3d. your body is simply a garment you're wearing to have human experience here. it's you, the inner self, the invisible you, the real you, that is who's in desire in imagination/consciousness. first, accept you have it so that you no longer desire it in consciousness. until you change your consciousness/imagination, your life remains the same. that's the law.

i can tell you've never read edward art's series. i will forever preach his series until the end of time until the day I die. here is the link. please invest some time and read it. don't just skim through it. understand that desire is within and must be fulfilled within. show true unconditional love to yourself by giving your inner SELF all in imagination/consciousness then 1) you will stop desiring. then 2) your reaction to the 3d will change. then 3) it will happen in the 3d.

go drink a glass of cold water and read my response over and over again until you understand it. please be kind to yourself and fulfill all your desires in imagination/consciousness only!! then you will feel fulfilled and happy. happiness is simply a by-product of fulfilling your desire in imagination only. don't forget to read his series I linked!!❤️

4dbarbie remix: How to let go of Vanessa

My notes: This is basically a TLDR version of my first 4dbarbie remix post How to realise Self. My original intention for that post was actually to make something like this, a really straightforward (and short lol) practical guide on how to let go of the ego in order to realize Self that I could refer to and apply on a day to day basis. It ended up being a long essay (it was over 3000 words aha) as I decided to go through all her posts and answered asks and found a lot of important information to include so it sort of became more of an educational post (which I'm glad to have made and it helped me understand everything better too!). So anyway, here it is. Pretty much all of the below information was taken from my How to realise Self post (besides the suggested exercises section at the bottom) - I just extracted the more practical guidance outside the explanations to make it. As always, my personal notes and highlights are in purple text.

Just let go of the ego, that’s how simple it is. All you need to fix is your wrong identification. There isn't anyone who couldn’t materialize anything right now if he or she would just let go of identifying as the limited body. 1

Stop thinking you are Vanessa, the thoughts of needing this or that drop away. To change, you need to give up this conviction of being this person. You need to disbelieve. 2 A lot of beliefs are subconscious. "I am a body", "I am Vanessa", "There is a world" are all subconscious, automatic beliefs. Upon investigation you can get rid of any belief (by making them conscious and then dropping them). 14 How do you drop a belief? (see part 1 and part 2)

All you need to do is detach from this form during the day, let life happen as it happens while reminding yourself it's a dream, a dream that doesn't have to be yours. 3

What I recommend you to do is bring your self into focus, become aware of your own existence. See how you function, watch the motives and the results of your actions. Study the prison you have built around yourself because of credulity. By knowing what you are not, you come to know your self. The way back to your self is through refusal and rejection. 4

Leave your mind alone, that is all. Don't go along with it. 5 Thoughts will keep on coming for a while, just now you know they have nothing to do with you. Get into a habit of watching, letting them be but not identifying with them. If you can observe them, it means you are not them. 6

Step away and look (observe). The physical events will go on happening, but by themselves they have no importance. It is your mind alone that matters. When you identify yourself with them, you are their slave, you think you have to act on them. When you stand apart, you are their master 7

Just stop taking the thoughts you don't like for truth or reality. There is no convincing involved, it is all letting go. 8 Doesn't matter what the thought is, leave it alone, ignore it BUT not by force of will, just indifference 9

Start letting go bit by bit, just to see what happens. You won't start "acting crazy" just because you become uninterested in thoughts, I promise 10

You don't need to convince yourself they're unreal, just dismiss them (your thoughts) as not yours. They will disappear more and more through your newfound indifference, then their physical counterparts will, too. Detachment is by doubt and indifference. First you start doubting "the facts", then you become indifferent to the facts, lastly there are no facts anymore and you can establish your own. 9

Your next step will be realizing there is nothing to learn in a dream. You'll find yourself having less and less thoughts, then none at all. Then, only if you want, you will be able to reinstall the mind, now of your choice, and change the dream. 3

All you need is to get rid of the tendency to define your self. All definitions apply to your body only and to its expressions. Once this obsession with the body goes, you will revert to your natural state, spontaneously and effortlessly. 4

Be patient with yourself because you don't lose any time, just get to that place I'm telling you about and then you can just go back in time if you so wish. All worry is pointless! And there is nothing to fear, things just happen, do not claim them as yours for a while. Unclutter your mind, it becomes your servant after you've freed it enough. 11

Reminder: This body and this world are not forced onto you, they exist through your identification with them. Not yours, remember? Repeat. Not yours. You won't lose your mind, you'll only lose your misery. After you've detached, you'll easily shift to as many realities as you want - don't put any on a pedestal of desire, they are equal. See this world and the body as not real first. What is true is only what I AM is identified with, right now this body which is not in that TV show (referring to anon's desire). Correct this first by letting go of thinking it's you. 12

Suggested exercises (not required if you don't want to do it!)

1. Sitting in silence & just being with no thoughts - The whole point of sitting in silence is to realize what you are, pure beingness. Awareness only becomes consciousness when it has an object. The object changes all the time. In consciousness there is movement; awareness by itself is motionless and timeless, here and now. 4

2. Start doubting you'll wake up as Vanessa tomorrow - Not to get it, but consider it actually… What if… I wake up tomorrow and I realize an entire life has been just a dream?! Equal to the one I dreamt last night?! What if you wake up and realize it all was a nightmare that you THOUGHT went on for years and it's just been a few hours... even get scared and terrified about that thought. Better than getting scared about non-reality.

WHAT IN THE WORLD?! That never was... but I felt it so real, I swear I was her?! Yet here you are, awake, and the dream never was.

Do it like that. Doubt that it's anything but a dream as much as possible. 13

Sources:

Citations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

In-text links: 1, 2, 3, 4

there’s something very nostalgic that I’ll never be able to explain about watching the sunset at a parking lot

this was so good??? Like the descriptions of jungkook and how reader is insecure but still does it any way, the ending is just-

morning rush. (m)

pairing ~  college au!jungkook/reader warnings ~ exhibitionism?  summary ~ You develop a strange relationship with the boy you share your morning commute with.   word count ~ 3.2k

+ Once the the train is tight enough, he senses that he can proceed inconspicuously. His hand drifts from your waist to the edge of your skirt, and you can feel the pads of his fingertips against your skin.

I wonder what he thinks when he looks at me.

Every time you see him, he sees you. Again and again you are stumped by one of life’s greatest obstacles: you can never really know what another person is thinking.

The year is almost over, you thought, and yet I have never spoken to this guy.

In the train station exactly five minutes away from your apartment, you see him every morning, without fail. You board the same ever crowded carriage, endure the thirty minute commute, then disembark at the same stop. Yet, no good morning, no hello, no subtle head nod, not ever. You were unsure if he was even aware of your existence.

At times you swore you could feel his eyes on you, palpably you had thought that he even awaited your appearance. On better days you would even think that he started to take an interest in you.

But when your mind would inevitably clear, you’d realise that no, this isn’t possible. He’s too tall and too fit to be anywhere near your league. He’s Jeon Jungkook, the ever coveted yet doubly mysterious first class university athlete. And you are… well, you.

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