Fast & Fearless: What Comes First (m.)

“Today I’m the man from the sea”

I was always question myself on this, and I really like this boy so my friends are just like well then “are u sure ur bi?" like bish i am i still like girls too what are u talking about.

“why bother writing bisexual characters if they just end up in a m/f relationship”

my dude

my guy

my pal

stop talking forever

there’s something very nostalgic that I’ll never be able to explain about watching the sunset at a parking lot

4dbarbie remix: How to realise Self?

Disclaimer: This remix/mashup post was compiled by me, a student of 4dbarbie as a way to make sense of everything and to understand how to apply the knowledge practically. I went through all her posts and answered asks to make this which is made up of various parts of 25 49 (omg lol there was a lot of good stuff) different posts and answered asks. It is not an original post by 4dbarbie herself but all words are directly from her various posts and answered asks (except for my clarification notes which are in purple text in brackets & the last section after the last divider where I make some closing comments). My personal highlights are in purple text also. Hopefully the way I've organised the information in this post makes sense and helps some Vanessas out there. ♡

Fair warning as this is a pretty long post essay (!) so maybe grab a cup of tea or something :) If you are really new to all this then take some time to really process it, there is no rush. May we all realize our Self ♡

There would be no steps necessary, no process to undertake if you would just establish yourself in the I AM alone. You are so lost in your play you forget reality. 1 If you are "I AM", it means you are not the person experiencing the world/thoughts/circumstances, you never were. 2

The external world, you control it (because it is you!, in you), you make it, fully, even when you tell yourself you don't. 3 To know yourself as the source of all that is, you have to first remove the veil of what's stopping you from seeing it in the first place. To know your real being, you have to first abandon what you thought yourself to be. 4 There is no external life, there is no need to use any methods to recondition or train your mind. It is much faster, much easier and you are hundreds times happier just letting go of the mind. 5 The process is one of letting go more and more until you find yourself having nothing, being nothing. The thing about nothing though is that it's the only thing that can take the shape of everything. 6

A jeweler who wants to refashion an ornament, first melts it down to shapeless gold. Similarly, one must return to one's original state before a new name and form can emerge. The only way to renewal lies through destruction. You must melt down the old jewellery into formless gold before you can mold a new one. What refuses to die cannot be reborn. - I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj 7

Stop thinking you are Vanessa, the thoughts of needing this or that drop away. By thinking you are it, you create a character who desires and then identify yourself with it. You can only have when you let go of thinking that you don't. To change, you need to give up this conviction of being this person. You need to disbelieve. 9

Most of you can't change because you are so desperate TO change... but there is nothing to want to change. Things just are. Don't work with changing self, just realize who self actually is. 10

You have it, all is well. Just stop believing the illusions born out of thinking you're a person. 11

Unless they understand who they really are, that Vanessa is a habit and nothing more - that nothing has existence outside of awareness, including her, that awareness assigns reality and is the only reality - they're always going to struggle to control something and get frustrated they don't see what they think they're aware of. What you're aware of is what you're being. You can't be aware of being something new while also being Vanessa. 12

Knowing is being. If you really knew, the thing you knew would be materialized. You know you are Vanessa so you're being Vanessa. Would you want Vanessa if you were her? No. You are her so you don't desire her. And you won't be able to be Vanessa 2.0 if you don't shed this Vanessa first. That is, let go of thinking the thoughts are yours. 8

Your memories of the life Vanessa lived are now and not in a past. You are imagining her past being now. Her past exists now because you are aware of it now. If you were Lara you would be aware of a different past, still now. Basically there was no yesterday and you are imagining "a past having been" today. 13

Anon: "Do I have to endure the world while I know my self as awareness and disbelieve that I am Vanessa???" Ada: THE POINT OF KNOWING YOURSELF AS AWARENESS IS TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT AT ALL TIMES, FOREVER. It's complete, incomparable freedom and power. It's the only real love. 14

You are either your Self with nothing attached to it or you're an ego. Disbelieve you were ever her. See what happens. 41

A lot of beliefs are subconscious. "I am a body", "I am Vanessa", "There is a world" are all subconscious, automatic beliefs. Upon investigation you can get rid of any belief (by making them conscious and then dropping them). 15 How do you drop a belief? (see part 1 and part 2)

HOW TO STOP?

The body and the mind are only symptoms of ignorance, of misapprehension. Behave as if you were pure awareness, bodiless and mindless, spaceless and timeless, beyond 'where' and 'when' and 'how'. Dwell on it, think of it, learn to accept its reality. Don't oppose it and deny it all the time. Keep an open mind at least. Make your mind and body express the real which is ALL and beyond all. By doing you succeed. - I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj

You need not take time to meditate or put time aside to contemplate and "apply". All you need to do is detach from this form during the day, let life happen as it happens while reminding yourself it's a dream, a dream that doesn't have to be yours. 16 It is your own desire to hold on to it that creates the problem. Let go. Stop imagining that the dream is yours. As long as you give reality to dreams, you are their slave; see all as a dream and stay out of it. 17

You imagine that there is an external world in which the you that you're identified with lives, but all of that is in your mind. Stop imagining it's true and it dissolves, which can only mean it never was. Which can only mean you assigned reality to it by thinking you're it 18

I've said it before, you don't have to convince Vanessa that she's unreal. Just stop taking the thoughts you don't like for truth or reality. There is no convincing involved, it is all letting go... you're holding so tightly onto your ideas now, that's why you can't see their falsity. 19 You don't have to convince anyone of anything. What I teach here is to leave your mind alone, that is all. Don't go along with it. 2 Thoughts will keep on coming for a while, just now you know they have nothing to do with you. Get into a habit of watching, letting them be but not identifying with them. If you can observe them, it means you are not them. 32 Doesn't matter what the thought is, leave it alone, ignore it BUT not by force of will, just indifference. We've established you aren't the ego, alright? Thoughts, right now, are from the ego. 20

Thoughts of the past life come, remember they no longer have anything to do with you. Literal full delusion (I only call it that because after being identified with a person for so long, it's mind-blowing to grasp you are not that). Thoughts are not yours, complete indifference - no need to fight them. Where they come from, none of your business. Only know they are not yours. YOU not being in your desired reality is a thought, got it? This body and this world are not forced onto you, they exist through your identification with them. Not yours, remember? Repeat. Not yours. You won't lose your mind, you'll only lose your misery. After you've detached, you'll easily shift to as many realities as you want - don't put any on a pedestal of desire, they are equal. See this world and the body as not real first. What is true is only what I AM is identified with, right now this body which is not in that TV show (referring to anon's desire). Correct this first by letting go of thinking it's you. 21

You don't need to convince yourself they're unreal, just dismiss them as not yours. They will disappear more and more through your newfound indifference, then their physical counterparts will, too. Detachment is by doubt and indifference. First you start doubting "the facts", then you become indifferent to the facts, lastly there are no facts anymore and you can establish your own. 20

Start letting go bit by bit, just to see what happens, you won't start "acting crazy" just because you become uninterested in thoughts, i promise 🤞 22

What I recommend you to do is bring your self into focus, become aware of your own existence. See how you function, watch the motives and the results of your actions. Study the prison you have built around yourself because of credulity. By knowing what you are not, you come to know your self. The way back to your self is through refusal and rejection. 23

Here's a scale of emotions you go through, from bottom to top: apathy, grief, fear, hostility, anger, indifference, acceptance, freedom finally - and then unlimited, independent joy. You can review this to see where you are on the journey and what should come next. You can't skip them, all of them have to happen for you to have the all. 14

Do not try to understand any more, just be. And let other things be as they are. Even if you're not happy about what you see, there is no way around it besides accepting it. As long as you fight it and try so hard & incessantly to change it, you're only giving it further reality. 14

If you are angry or in pain, separate yourself from anger and pain and watch them. Step away and look. The physical events will go on happening, but by themselves they have no importance. It is your mind alone that matters. When you identify yourself with them, you are their slave, you think you have to act on them. When you stand apart, you are their master. 24

One thing is certain: the real is not imaginary, it is not a product of the mind. 23

You are beyond the mind. Mind and body become your servants once you discover your Self. The present moment is all that is, so yes - become aware of having never been the ego, of your ego being just one of your creations. Ego is the concept of individuality, of separation from the “I", and the All. Therefore ego is a false assumption. We are really the Supreme Reality, we are not separate from It. To "fix" the separation, reject what you are not. Only look at who you are, over and over and over until it becomes the permanent identification and replaces the ego. 25

Once you are convinced that you cannot say truthfully about your self anything except ‘I am’, and that nothing that can be pointed at, can be your self, the need for the ‘I am’ is over — you are no longer intent on verbalising what you are. All you need is to get rid of the tendency to define your self. All definitions apply to your body only and to its expressions. Once this obsession with the body goes, you will revert to your natural state, spontaneously and effortlessly. 23

Drop the false ideas first and watch. After what keeps you stuck goes, you can do whatever you want. You can think the ugliest thoughts and nothing will happen if you know yourself as who you are. It's your identification with the thought that causes the thought to be true. 26

The guilt is because you think you're running out of time and you need to change "your" life now. Be patient with yourself because you don't lose any time, just get to that place I'm telling you about and then you can just go back in time if you so wish. All worry is pointless! And there is nothing to fear, things just happen, do not claim them as yours for a while. Unclutter your mind, it becomes your servant after you've freed it enough. 27

She (Vanessa) will vanish yes, you ask how because you still think waking is more real than a dream. Do your dreams not vanish? Do you wonder how they vanish? They just stop existing all of a sudden when you go into another dream (waking). What if you've lived all your life as Ada and woke up one morning and were suddenly Vanessa with no memory of Ada, would you know anybody vanished? Nope. All you know is who you are right now (because present is all that is), which is Vanessa. 28 Leave poor Vanessa alone, with both her desires and fears, disbelieve you are her until reality becomes self-obvious.

By being your Self you gain the freedom of existing as anything, anytime. You don't lose Vanessa's pretty body if you don't want to stop imagining yourself as being Vanessa with her pretty body. 29

Nothing is lost, awareness just shifts. You can always go back. We're just removing the obstacles that stop you from having this freedom of choice (your identification with this person). You can completely wipe out Vanessa's existence as well. Later if you change your mind, you can make it so that she actually existed again. You are no form, you are formless, the form only is when you imagine there is a form, be your favorite form and dream beautiful dreams :) 30

There is no difference between sleeping and waking, awareness is the background of both. You just think the waking state more real because you've dreamt it over and over and reinforced your belief. They're equally imaginary. Become aware of this and life will forever be a breeze. 31

All depends on you. It is by your consent that the world exists. Withdraw your belief in its reality and it will dissolve like a dream. Cease from looking for happiness and reality in a dream and you will wake up. - I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj 17

Your next step will be realizing there is nothing to learn in a dream. You'll find yourself having less and less thoughts, then none at all. Then, only if you want, you will be able to reinstall the mind, now of your choice, and change the dream. 16

Past doesn't come up anymore, memories don't come up anymore after you've ignored (thoughts) & detached yourself enough. They just don't. You can think freely now about being something different. If you can't, don't get mad, don't blame, only know that the one that's doubting isn't you, so the doubts are totally fine to be. They'll be for a while and then they dissolve too, because by ignoring, not getting involved - you forget. And by forgetting not only do you free up so much mental space, but possibilities of what can be, become unnumbered. 36 Anon: Is it okay to feel completely indifferent after learning about this stuff? Like, not feeling as worried about what is playing in front of me since I know its not me Ada: That's the goal. Then become indifferent to the thoughts you get as well. Those aren't yours either. You'll become aware they've dissolved & you can reconstruct the mind however you want because you have no attachment to past beliefs anymore. 33

Even the process is very beautiful... but the very best is when your Self becomes the permanent background instead of Vanessa. Now you always return to Vanessa, later you'll forget to consider her ♡ Dream not of a character who wants and desires, there is nothing to long for — only things to be. 16

To not depend on anything but everything to depend on you is a top state you can grasp with no method. 5 The experience is of being empty, uncluttered by memories and expectations; it is like the happiness of open spaces, of being young, of having all the time and energy for doing things, for discovery, for adventure. A sense of 'there is nothing wrong with me. I have nothing to worry about'. But not one you condition yourself into like you conditioned yourself into a body, it is one that naturally and effortlessly dawns on you by itself when you reject all else, because it is your natural state. 34 Real freedom and real love only emerge when you're not identified with a transient ego. 35

All you are doing is becoming lucid. Becoming able to control the dream. You won't be able to, unless you step out of it. That is, stop thinking this story you tell yourself is true. When Vanessa is no longer all you are, you'll be able to 'change reality' the way you change the film in a video projector. You'll be able to have as much fun in the play as you want to, change it when you no longer want this one specifically. The emotions of the character are fun and welcomed, because they no longer imprison you, there's the background of love to it all - that once you gain, it can't be lost, it's ever present. 36

What you are identified with materializes. If you are not, it disappears. 37

Just let go of the ego, that’s how simple it is. All you need to fix is your wrong identification. There isn't anyone who couldn’t materialize anything right now if he or she would just let go of identifying as the limited body. 38

Only by letting go of all do you gain everything. But once it's done, it's done irreversibly. Fear is no more, control is fully yours. You are free, completely. And with the bliss of freedom no human pleasure compares. You become full love, full power. The absolute and only power. Sooner or later, you will arrive at the same conclusion. You can't stop being what you are, all else can stop existing, but you can't. The only thing you have a choice in is delaying seeing it by thinking you are this or that. Only see it (I Am), then you can imagine whatever you want and it will be. 39

If you project the world, it is within your power to change it. But you must stop identifying yourself with it first. Go beyond, then you have all the power to destroy and recreate. All everybody wants is to be free, but to do that you must know two things: what you are to be free from and what keeps you bound. 2

Your own self is your ultimate teacher, the outer teacher is merely a milestone. It is only your inner teacher that will walk with you to the goal, because he is the goal. - Nisargadatta Maharaj 40

Got more questions? Recommended reading:

Ada's recommended guides on realizing Self: 1, 2, 3

My recommended posts from Ada*: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

All references from the remix post

Books: I Am That by Nisargadatta Maharaj** and Keys to The Ultimate Freedom by Lester Levenson

*in addition to the sources linked in the post **a lot of her posts incorporate quotes and excerpts from this book, moreso than Lester Levenson's Keys to The Ultimate Freedom and she also shared a lot of excerpts from the book

What does this look like when applied?

Experience is the best teacher and learning from other's experiences and how they applied this knowledge can be really valuable and insightful. I don't define success based on materialising things necessarily although that is one result of realizing Self.

From 4dbarbie students: see the tag

Other: 1, 2

Okay, what to do after reading all this?

Apply apply apply. Don't wait, nothing will happen by waiting. There is only now. Inquire who is causing trouble and to whom. You can't think yourself into realization. 'You' are beyond the mind. You are the creator of the mind. It must be experienced.

ur only reality is the 4d, for me it clicked when I replaced the word reality with life. like my only life is my imagination so the life in 3d does not matter (it has no affect). and also 3d and 4d are the same thing so because they are equal and u can only change the 4d then that means that everything u imagine in your 4d will automatically transfer. i hope that makes sense? but the main thing here to understand is that imagination is the only reality and it is the true reality. So all you need to do now is worry about your imagination cause your 3d does not matter in the grand scheme of things it’s literally only reflecting. It’s your 4d that’s controlling the 3d and who’s controlling the 4d? you

so literally live in imagination and make urself happy instead of dwelling in the 3d obviously u still have things to do in the 3d that you can’t ignore but u need to handle the 3d with indifference and this is where states come to play where u dwell in the state of knowing ur 4d. what I like to do is whenever I feel any anxiety about something I just fulfill myself like literally anything and everything I fulfill myself I don’t think about logic and I am not looking or even thinking about it showing up in the 3d i am just fully allowing myself to feel and fulfill. This post is more of a reminder to myself tbh because I always go on loa tumblr to find the “secret” and a step by step way to get all my desires but really it’s just fulfilling yourself. like don’t reason and just fulfill urself to ur hearts content and that’s all you need.

in summary my step by step way of doing loa

1. don’t reason- imagination is the only reality

2. fulfill ur desire

3. repeat steps 1-2 whenever u want

anyway hope that helps <3

finally, play a new game

⭐️part twelve of the understanding consciousness & non dualism series

hi cuties. this is the last post of the understanding consciousness and non dualism series and i want to say thank you so much for everyone that supported me. im happy that my posts helped ppl understand this concept better. the aim of the series was to break down the topics so that it can be easier to comprehend even though its so simple but the ego makes it seem harder (as you can already assume).

by now you understand that your real and only identity is consciousness / awareness / the observer / the source / imagination and everything is consciousness ("your" phone, "your" mother) which appear as separate and different forms even though its all the same thing, you. nothing is real and everything is imaginary. imagining something is the same as having it in the "physical world" bc there is no "physical world" bc there is no separation bc everything is just consciousness. nothing is real but things exist when you become aware of them (example: these words can never be real but they exist bc you are aware of it). this human body and thoughts/ego is not the real you, real identity. its not real its just appearing as something else. consciousness is the only reality so reality is everywhere bc consciousness is everything. desires arent real bc the moment you become aware of something, it exists instantly, youve experienced it instantly. "desires" are you. you dont create anything, you are everything. forms of consciousness just appear as separate but arent. even the 5 senses arent real and are limited to the power you are (consciousness). as the observer, you observe everything (in the unreal physical and in imagination).

the point of non dualism is to realize your true self (consciousness) and be free from suffering in this "life" that you think is real. remove and be free from all concepts and beliefs and the past. they are not real and never will be. once you understand non dualism, there is no suffering or pain or no issue. you cannot take things seriously bc you know none of this is real in the first place. personally, i think the point of "life" is to realize your true nature and enjoy life and peace with whatever ego desires. if ego desires being a rockstar or having piercings or getting free money, then thats what it is. the point is to experience whatever ego wants to experience.

all this is just a game.

you are the game character (human being), you are the game's plot, you are the producers of the game, the one playing the game, the game console, the game itself, everything. and this game is all imaginary.

be present and enjoy everything bc its all you. ego desires something? be that desire and imagine it.

none of this shit is real so i can and will treat myself how ego wants to be treated in imagination since its no difference if its in imagination or in the "physical" bc both are imagination either way. ego wants to go to the beach? in imagination i will go to the beach and enjoy every second. you see how free it is to imagine whatever knowing that imagination is everything and everywhere? its unlimited. you are unlimited.

how to play a new game:

imagine the "desire"

done. it exists and i experienced it instantly.

the 5 senses are not real as said before and the "physical" is the same as whatever you imagine. if you depend on the unreal "physical world" then you are limiting yourself to the body's unreal senses. what powerful being would limit themselves to an unreal thing?

whatever ego wants, i will be bc thats the game and rules i chose. there is no such thing as something against me or restrictions or oppositions or something that is making it "hard". everything is unreal and is me (consciousness) either way. you dont have power, you are power.

realize you already are whatever ego desires. you are already living in imagination and you always will be. experience whatever it is you want to experience.

© msperfect777

hey Ada... i read your post "Appearance Changes" and in it you say to imagine as if i already have my desired appearance... but i can't stop being self conscious of my "old" face... what do you suggest i do

When you look the way you want to, you aren't "conscious" much. Notice how you only become self-conscious when you feel like something's wrong with your body/face? When you think of your appearance as perfect you don't get that involved with/in it, you just let it be - your body is no longer a concern. Since it's everything you want it to be, you can attend to other matters and simply exist, you don't need to always "take care" of it, make sure it looks its best, wonder what others will think of it, etc.

I suggest you no longer mind it, think of your old appearance as only a memory. Did you exert any effort in looking like the undesirable you? You didn't, right? You just existed like that. Likewise, now you just look like this, and no past or memory has any relevance to what you are/look like in the present. Tell me, if you are it, does what you used to identify with before matter at all? You keep thinking you need to do something about your old self but it's dead, you're only keeping it alive by thinking there's more to do/things to fix. Why do you keep poking something that has no importance to you anymore? You needn't :) you look ai generated now baby xx who cares what was?

If you’re seeing this, this is your 888. Reap the abundance before you and feel the luck which swashs like the tide at your feet.

Hi aphrodite im absolutely loving your blog <3

Im sorry if this is repetitive but how to actually get into a state? I get what the feeling and wish fulfilled means but how should I accept it? Is it by persisting in my aff? I think I'm missing something here.

you change your state with acceptance. i made a post here about acceptance.

what i do is in meditation, i ask myself "what would i LOVE to be?" but i ask as the inner self, not as the outer self. so i answer that question honestly and then i claim(assume) "I AM___" or "I have___". i just accept it in my imagination. i don't do vain repetitions, i feel myself to be it as a present fact. you're not accepting anything in the 3d. leave the 3d alone. the 3d doesn't exist to me when i meditate, it's just me in the world of imagination where I'm god. you accept it in imagination, not in the 3d. accepting in imagination is easy when you see that your desire already exists in imagination and it's WAITING and BEGGING for your acceptance. so basically you BE it in imagination/consciousness.

you can persist in your affirmations if that's what you want, but affirmations do not manifest your states do. and you, the inner self, are the collector of states. persist in accepting/experiencing/feeling your desire as a present fact in imagination.

comments i saw on ng reddit:

The only reason one would struggle with satisfying a desire in the mind is because you're trying to DO something or CHANGE something. All you're actually doing is giving yourself something you want in IMAGINATION. You can imagine anything you want in there. Has there ever been a time where you imagined telling someone off in your imagination? Did it feel good to you to do so? It's the same principle...just applying it to something you want. When you really feel like you've imagined something without actually trying to CHANGE something then you will feel satisfied

It's understanding that you have the power right NOW to give yourself anything you want, in your mind. When you do that you realize that is the real you...when you fall in love with that state so much you can't help but want to reside there more and more and you meld with that and then you naturally start thinking FROM that state rather than thinking OF it like Neville talks about. Honestly, you don't even have to accept it. Test it in your mind. Give yourself what you want in your mind and feel the feeling of relief and joy of having it now. You can't help but accept that you received it (in your imagination) because you already felt it. It comes down to the fact that you aren't identifying with the inner man. You're identifying with the mirror image.....

edward art has a writing here about acceptance. i highly highly recommend you read his series if you haven't already!